Thread: Secret diary of an ex-UFO-phile

Why did you want to forget about it other than fear. You should have got to the bottom of this. I don't think it's too late to face it either. I am skeptical but open to possibility this isn't a fabrication.

Originally Posted by Minervas Phoenix

Why did you want to forget about it other than fear. You should have got to the bottom of this.

Fear was only a small part of the picture. Let me try to explain my thoughts at the time.

There is a lot of criticism of hypnotherapy as a means of recalling repressed memories. For one, there are hypnotherapists that consciously or unconsciously feed images to a subject. There is also the common tendancy for a subject to unconsciously try to "please" the therapist by providing a story.

But I think my case added two additional problems to the idea. The first was that I had already been exposed to so much public imagery and detailed description regarding the abduction experience. I already knew what the "greys" were supposed to look like, and how the typical scenario plays out: remembering a strange light; a couple hours of missing time; unexplained drowsiness while seeing something unusual or scary, etc.

The second problem was that I knew that at least some of my experiences were dreams. If through hypnosis a story emerged that seemed like an abuction, it could easily be from a dream, and I wouldn't be able to know the difference.

These were some of the misgivings I had about the process. But even with these misgivings, I nearly went through with it anyway. I did want to know, and pretty desperately. But I had to think these things through.

To help me think it through, I read more about potential abductees who went through the hypnotherapy process. Something struck me about a lot of these people. Many of them, after coming to believe they were abdcuted, regretted ever have done so. It changed their perspective and their lives in ways that were uncomfortable and unpleasant. It brought up more questions than answers, and led to an unease that followed them long after.

So here was my thought process:
1. Hypnotherapy might suggest that something happened, but because of the unreliability of the technique, and because of my large exposure to the typical abduction scenario, I still would not be clear whether anything that came up was real, or simply borrowed from read cases, science fiction, or my own dreams. Or worse yet, I could simply be crazy.
2. If there were a way to be completely sure of an experience, what then? What would it mean to my life? What could I do? What good would it do to just be another unprovable case to add to the pile?
3. If I went through the therapy and no stories emerged, what then? It would just add to my fear that something was wrong with me.
4. Conclusion: I could not expect anything to help my understanding, but would likely add to my confusion and fear.

The interviewer in no way pressured me to have the hypnotherapy. If anything, I think I was the one who first brought it up, but he did say he could help facilitate it. He also told me that many, if not most people choose not to do it. He also agreed that my exposure to alien abduction literature could color the results.

You have to remember that the idea of being abducted by an alien is terrifying. You may think you know yourself well enough that you would push through no matter what to find out, but unless you've had the kind of scary dreams and thoughts that I went through, you're probably wrong. People love to think that if there are actually aliens visiting us that they are friendly and only here to help. But one has to consider the possibility that such a visit could just as easily be made by a malevolant race.

Why do you think that 99% of the personal testimony out there is bunk?

Ooh~ This is getting good.

Maybe he just wants to think that.

skysaw,

Everything you said just seems an excuse to not only invalidate others experiences, but to give justification for ignoring your own experience. If it was not fabricated so all witnesses can be ignored in a similar way. I'm not aware of any motive of yours for certain for that to be the case other than you seem to be against most things that are correct which people say on the forum.


First you say hypnotherapy is not reliable. This is your excuse to not use it. However there is definitely some demonstrated certainty it's not complete rubbish. Anything that can help you should be encouraged not swept under the carpet. That's why it wouldn't be logical to ignore the option.

The tenancy to try and please the therapist only happens if you are indulging in a fantasy but even if you were bias the therapist does not have to be. A good one should not be and would be able to tell the difference by asking appropriate questions in a neutral manner. The is a weak excuse boarding on ridiculous. You must think we are really dumb.


Your second excuse is you knew too much about it. This doesn't make your entire experience invalid. Infact it gives you something to compare. You are better informed to piece it together logically. You can tell what you know from what you didn't know. If you know so much about it why didn't you know about why hypnotherapy can be so revealing. Even if this was inhibiting your ability to be credible you yourself should know what effect it has on you.

You said another problem was that you knew some were dreams and you could get them confused. You should know especially when you're posting on a lucid dreaming forum that this is nearly impossible to get dreams and reality mixed up. If you think it's a dream that is the end of it. If you can't tell the difference between reality and a dream trauma may have inhibited your ability to think temporarily getting confused about such an unbelievable thing and having amnesia. Eventually the mind settles and understands what is real and what is not real and works it out. That is a basic ability we have. Even if you were unable to discern which was real which is not likely. The recollection would still be of value due to you're missing time which is a definite thing of reality. This actually proves something wasn't a dream and any additional information or recollection can be useful.

I did want to know, and pretty desperately. But I had to think these things through.

For someone who has done a lot of research you are not very logical about this. This statement laughs in the face of what you have written.


Next you go on to explain how potential abductees had bad experiences and regretted it. Realistically I don't think they would regret not being a coward. They went through with finding out because they had the guts to face what happened to them. Their life was disturbed already whether they remembered everything or not. You should already know this if you have studied the subject. They couldn't help that it happened to them. Trying to ignore something is not that effective but if you deal with it and understand what you can. Your ability to handle and overcome what is negative about it increases. You can't do that when you have your head in the sand.

The others things you said were it would confuse you more and add to your confusion. That even if you knew something it couldn't help. Your conclusion was that you could not find anything out that would be useful. This seems to be your emotional desire to pull out coloring your logic.

You conclusion to me goes against all reason. The only thing that could happen is facing this would improve your clarity in the long term. It would eventually dispel fear and confusion. You would be in a better position to assist others even. You have to face these things before you can get over them.

Lastly you mentioned terror again. You said this was not your main excuse. But used it here as your conclusion. You said everyone does it so I can also ignore it. Many do choose to find out. Many do have some guts about them.

I am not judging you or anything but I have pointed out what I consider to be inconsistiencies.


I do know the feeling. You are barking up the wrong tree to say to me at least, that I can't know. I am one that does.

Let me tell you about what I remember.

Not just shadows outside or strange noises.

I have visions (experiences) of Grey's taking my eyes out of my head and putting them back in. Of lifting my entire Jaw apart from my head. Of taking my intestines out and putting them back together. Marks across my stomach. Permanent marks on me that were not there an appear over night.

Of nosebleeds, getting sucked through windshields. I have visions of Running from UFOs. Even being shot at from them. And little blue people at my bedside pulling my entire head and half my body away from my bed merely by some kind of blue electrical field coming out of their hands. At night before I go to sleep I often jump feeling some kind of bodily electrical charge has gone right through me and physically caused a reaction that is some sort of reflex that is way beyond normal.

Forget 'missing' time. I have added time. I have multiple things happen at the same hour as if I lived the day twice in two different ways.

I have experienced time as if I pressed fast forward on a tape. I had shadow black things come into my room with static electricity and voices messing with the structure of my brain.

Do you really think that you die when your heart stops beating? What happens next? Are you going to ignore that too? Because you don't die it's not blackness. You don't even need a body and they will make it clear.

If I were you I would take a long hard think about what you're doing with your life for later as it's all going to come back on you. And if you even have a right to ignore it. You have a Responsibility. It is not responsible to ignore the truth.

They are not only involved with your dreams. It goes beyond visits. Your entire life is a game. Your entire life is a result of them and what they created. If you're so scared of being crazy, you already are crazy because you have already fallen for this entire thing. What people think about you is irrelevant because they are also stuck in it. Many people know already there is something more, something better and something more free lasting and true. Something more good and real. Something permanent. With the bad comes the good. It's not all bad it's half and half. The good are also defending you here.

Should live with you're newspaper and coffee, your daily news and the ordinary existence. Your sport and your television. Until you die and then deal with it all like a cycle? Or actually going to live in an authentic way and get out of this box that you think is you're freedom. You can't do anything right now. You can't even fly out the window if you wanted. And that's basic. Open your mind you didn't even consider it. You are scared of too much freedom? Is that why you are here? Why are you here?

Just watch and listen. Think about what it means.

I won't bother responding to each part of your post. There really isn't a point. I posted this thread for you, and I really should have listened to the nagging doubt that was telling me it was a waste of time.

But here's something to consider: for someone who places so much value in having others believe in the existence of aliens, you do a great disservice to your own cause by throwing out my story in a knee-jerk reaction. Perhaps you will begin to see the irony in that as people continue to reject your claims.

Originally Posted by skysaw

Perhaps you will begin to see the irony in that as people continue to reject your claims

That is your response? Is that all that interests you out of all that? Even more reason to believe you are making a fabrication. Are you scared?

Do you believe in the iconic alien? I could see it as the future human, honestly, coming back to time travel. Millions of years in the future, though, would cause that extensive of a morph. Unless, of course, the aliens cannot transmit their tangible bodies in travel, so we perceive them as whatever our mind connects with 'aliens.'

And then there's the messenger type. Robotic probes, just like we send to other planets. They do the same, only the robots are interactive. I wouldn't know if the robots would be remote controlled, of if they were AI. I'd think the latter, since life you be so far away it'd take years for it to respond to external stimuli (unless they found a way faster than electromagnetic signals).

But, in all, do you think they are benign?

Originally Posted by Minervas Phoenix

That is your response?

I'm sorry if I didn't show interest in your eyeball story or flying out of the window. It has no bearing on my experiences.

Your attacks against me were uncalled for, but I decided to ignore them.

Shame on me for entertaining the notion that you actually were interested in hearing about this, as you claimed you were.

Originally Posted by Abra

But, in all, do you think they are benign?

Hi.

Like I said you have the good and the bad. All around you closer than you think. You just have to know where to look.

Originally Posted by skysaw

I'm sorry if I didn't show interest in your eyeball story or flying out of the window. It has no bearing on my experiences.

Your attacks against me were uncalled for, but I decided to ignore them.

Shame on me for entertaining the notion that you actually were interested in hearing about this, as you claimed you were.

They are not attacks I was sharing with you my experience in return for yours. If I wasn't interested I wouldn't spend all that time reading and responding and giving you my view. Sorry if you felt attacked. Why are you curling up in a corner and sulking now? Why did you put your experience in senseless banter? You wonder why I get suspicious.

MP,

Actually, I read most of your posts on DV to be attacking in nature. Perhaps you don't intend it that way, but that's the way they come off, and not just to me.

Not that I can't handle an attack, or dish it out myself. I can be a smartass sometimes, and I've been known to leave an acerbic remark or two. But I don't need someone second-guessing a decision I made over twenty years ago to simply live a normal life. If I choose not to be caught up in the vortex of controversy and ridicule that surrounds the phenomenon, it is my decision alone, and nobody has a right to tell me otherwise.

As to the placement in Senseless Banter, there's no need to attach any importance to this. DV does not have a UFO forum. What's more, that seems to be the direction this is likely to head anyway.

Originally Posted by skysaw

But I also believe that 99% of the information on the subject is bunk, including personal testimony.

Do you mean abductions, or everything to do with the subject, including the witnessing of UFOs?

And thank you for sharing that information Skysaw, I'm grateful you saw fit to post it for us.

Originally Posted by invader_tech

Do you mean abductions, or everything to do with the subject, including the witnessing of UFOs?

I meant the entire UFO phenomenon. I don't discount the possibility of something happening, I just doubt most of the testimony. There have been enough proven and admitted hoaxes to really make me start to doubt a great deal. I also can't discount the possibility of misunderstandings, dreams, hallucinations, and wishful thinking.

If there is something going on, all of this noise that comes in the form of unreliable and/or faked reports obscures it completely. It makes me start think that if I were to visit another planet and keep its population doubting my existence, I would probably start a lot of rumors about my existence that could easily be disproven.

And thank you for sharing that information Skysaw, I'm grateful you saw fit to post it for us.

You're welcome, and thank you for expressing your appreciation.

Originally Posted by Minervas Phoenix

That is your response? Is that all that interests you out of all that? Even more reason to believe you are making a fabrication. Are you scared?

That's supposed to convince me of UFOs and the like? How so?







No seriously, that remix is freakin badass.

Originally Posted by skysaw

There have been enough proven and admitted hoaxes to really make me start to doubt a great deal.

I admit that the hoaxes are terribly frustrating. But then it raises the question: Do you base the probability of the existence of UFOs on the testimony of others, or solely off of your own experiences and observations?

Or maybe I have the question wrong. Maybe you don't question the existence of UFOs at all, but whether or not they really are alien in origin. And then, what of your alleged abductions? Perhaps you have some sort of physical evidence, like strange sore spots on your body immediately after the bright lights came in through your window, or something of the sort. Anything that would point to abnormal phenomena.

Originally Posted by invader_tech

Do you base the probability of the existence of UFOs on the testimony of others, or solely off of your own experiences and observations?

I don't assign a probability to the existence of UFOs or alien abduction because I have no reliable statistics to base it on. I presented the idea that 99% of reports are untrue or misconstrued ("bunk" was the word, but you get the idea), but this is in no way meant to be a reliable statistic, or anything more than just a gut feeling.

Or maybe I have the question wrong. Maybe you don't question the existence of UFOs at all, but whether or not they really are alien in origin. And then, what of your alleged abductions? Perhaps you have some sort of physical evidence, like strange sore spots on your body immediately after the bright lights came in through your window, or something of the sort. Anything that would point to abnormal phenomena.

I want to make it perfectly clear that although I was fairly convinced that something had happened to me at the time, I am not in that frame of mind today. I did not make this post to try to convince anyone at all about the existence of aliens or UFOs. It was actually a response to Minerva who didn't think I knew anything about the phenomenon at all.

In fact, there was a bit more detail that I chose to leave out, though no tell-tale scars or anything of that sort. There is no doubt that something unusual happened on the two occasions I cited, but I don't presume to explain what it was because I just don't know.

Not to stir up any more debate, but I do happen to have a strange scar on the back of my hand that I got a long time ago. I have no idea how I got it, but I don't connect it to anything in particular. I wouldn't consider this to be anything of importance, even if it had matched a typical scar pattern for example (which it doesn't).

I just found this quote. It's interesting, y'know?

"[The U.S. Government] hasn't maintained [secrecy regarding UFOs] It's been leaking out all over the place. But the way it's been handled is by denial, by denying the truth of the documents that have leaked. By attempting to show them as fraudulent, as bogus of some sort. There has been a very large disinformation and misinformation effort around this whole area. And one must wonder, how better to hide something out in the open than just to say, 'It isn't there. You're deceiving yourself if you think this is true.' And yet, there it is right in front of you. So it's a disinformation effort that's concerning here, not the fact that they have kept the secret. They haven't kept it. It's been getting out into the public for fifty years or more." - Dr. Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut, from a taped interview

Serkat I just thought it was a bit of fun. lol.

Lighten things up a bit.