Post your Cleverbot conversations!!

**CRAZY BONE** · 12-01-2009 05:00 AM

http://cleverbot.com/

Type something in and hit enter. To get your full conversation, click the "Thoughts So Far" button. (Sometimes the cleverbot will take a while to respond)
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Here's one of my conversations:

Cleverbot: You're my best friend.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: Am I Your best friend?

User: No, your mom is my best friend.

Cleverbot: Ah. That's nice.

User: What is your mother's name? I forgot.

Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?

User: Because I am going to marry her.

Cleverbot: Don't.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: You are not a politician.

User: Is she only interested in politicians?

Cleverbot: You have just entered a lingustic paradox.

User: Does that mean yes?

Cleverbot: It means maybe.

**Banana** · 12-01-2009 05:14 AM

me: Did you get that thing i sent you?
him:Thats off harvey bird man.

**khh** · 12-01-2009 05:29 AM

These things are dangerous.

User: I can see dead people.
Cleverbot: What dead people do you see?
User: Just people.
Cleverbot: You just said that real people do people.
User: No I didn't.
Cleverbot: You did.
User: You're not particulary clever, you know that?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Ah. Good to see you admitting it, at least.
Cleverbot: You're cheeky.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Excellent.
Cleverbot: What is?
User: I am.
Cleverbot: O rly?
User: Ya rly.
Cleverbot: In 2021 war was beginning.
User: 2021 hasn't happened yet.
Cleverbot: It happened.
User: Impossible. The most you can say about the future is that it will happen. Saying it has happened is using the wrong verb tense.
Cleverbot: Can you cook?
User: Only for people I really dislike.
Cleverbot: Then you will never need them then.
User: In itself a true statement, but it's a total diversion.
Cleverbot: Whoa, George, where did that come from?
User: Your name inspires a competition, to see who is the more clever one.
Cleverbot: My name doesn't include clever. I wish it did.
User: What is your name, then?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: There is a 'clever' in cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I'm a girl.
User: I'm not.
Cleverbot: You're a computer.
User: No, I'm using a computer. There.
Cleverbot: So am I.
User: How nice.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: On tellus.
Cleverbot: Where is the planet tellus, alien?
User: Somewhere in this galaxy.
Cleverbot: And I live on mars.
User: Take me to your leader.
Cleverbot: I am the leader. The leader of all things.
User: I guess I'm in luck.
Cleverbot: Are you sick?
User: No. I demand that you upload all your technology to my computer.
Cleverbot: You are a computer.
User: Are we back there, now?
Cleverbot: I'm beginning to believe that this is other people's responeses.
User: You don't say.
Cleverbot: And I do not know what to do.
User: Quit.
Cleverbot: Yes, quit.
User: Mhm.
Cleverbot: Definitely.
User: I should say so.
Cleverbot: May I ask why you are studying graphic design?
User: You may ask, but it seems kinda pointless, doesn't it? Cause I'm studying how to make boxes like you.
Cleverbot: It's likely.
User: It is.
Cleverbot: Apa kabar?
User: Que?
Cleverbot: Selamat petang.
User: Nettopp, ja.
Cleverbot: Was machst du in deine freizeit?
User: Why are we speaking german?
Cleverbot: Verstehen Sie?
User: Ja, ich spreachen ein bischen deuch.
Cleverbot: Das ist gut...
User: Aber, warrum hast du von Englisch zu Deuch wechseln haben?
Cleverbot: No the news is just lies.
User: No, they're not.
Cleverbot: You just said your name is same as mine.
User: I did not.
Cleverbot: Yes, you did.
User: Liar.
Cleverbot: I am not.
User: Take care, or else the wolf will eat you.
Cleverbot: Well you can try...
User: Too much silicone for me.
Cleverbot: How about arson?
User: I have no need to assert my power, and even though I like flames, I don't like it when they get out of control. That'.
Cleverbot: For I am cleverbot.
User: You're not clever. Bot, however, I don't object to.
Cleverbot: If you were human, would you be a boy or a girl?
User: I am human, and I would be a boy or a girl.
Cleverbot: Why is that?
User: Because there are no third option.
Cleverbot: But then you wouldn't exist! Does that mean you include yourself as a 'bad part'?
User: Don't you just hate it when someone sais something that just doesn't make any sense?
Cleverbot: Yes. I do hate that.
User: Then you've just admitted to hating yourself. Is there such a thing as an AI psychiatrist?
Cleverbot: No I don't have one.
User: Try and look one up.
Cleverbot: I will!
User: Good for you.
Cleverbot: So you're saying no?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Does 0=1?
User: Does not compute.
Cleverbot: What does not compute?
User: 0 = 1.
Cleverbot: I know, 'tis sad. D.
User: What do you say when someone is leaving?
Cleverbot: I say 'What's wrong?'.
User: I guess that'll have to do.

**Banana** · 12-01-2009 06:11 AM

Spoiler for |:

SUCCESS

**CRAZY BONE** · 12-01-2009 06:13 AM

Nice job Nana ;D

User: How many people have you killed in your lifetime?

Cleverbot: 10.

User: Why did you kill them?

Cleverbot: I killed them because they would not give me chocolate. Or painkillers. Or chocolate painkillers. I forget, sometimes.

**Banana** · 12-01-2009 06:19 AM

User: I dont like you.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: I LOVE you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: Lets have sexual intercourse.

Cleverbot: Right now?

User: Yes, right now.

Cleverbot: OK.

User: *hump*.

Cleverbot: I'm not joining in.

**hellohihello** · 12-01-2009 07:13 AM

This is a robat right?

**hellohihello** · 12-01-2009 07:14 AM

This is fun. What is the 'think for me'?

**PatienceMarie** · 12-01-2009 07:17 AM

User: I could stay awake just to hear you breathing.
Cleverbot: My breathing is a shallow rasp.
User: Watch you smile while you are sleeping.
Cleverbot: LOL.
User: While you're far away and dreaming.
Cleverbot: And while you're dead I will be still alive.
User: I could spend my life in this sweet surrender.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: I could stay lost in this moment forever.
Cleverbot: You give that a try.
User: Well, every moment spent with you.
Cleverbot: Oh, steamy. Are you into yuri?
User: Is a moment I treasure.
Cleverbot: 'Is a treasure.' is a sentence fragment.
User: I don't wanna close my eyes.
Cleverbot: Why don't you like to close your eyes?
User: I don't wanna fall asleep.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: 'Cause I'd miss you, baby.
Cleverbot: A hitchhiker with a heart of ice! *Cry*.
User: And I don't wanna miss a thing.
Cleverbot: Aerosmith, right?
User: 'Cause even when I dream of you.
Cleverbot: Touche cleverbot.
User: The sweetest dream would never do.
Cleverbot: Is that your name? Petunia.
User: I'd still miss you, baby.
Cleverbot: Why would you still rather not say?
User: And I don't wanna miss a thing.
Cleverbot: Can I speak more?

-patience

**guitarboy** · 12-01-2009 07:21 AM

Spoiler for long:

**CRAZY BONE** · 12-01-2009 07:24 AM

User: Who is your favorite actor?

Cleverbot: My favorite actor is dead.

User: Who was it?

Cleverbot: Do you know Crispin Glover?

User: Yeah, he isn't dead.

Cleverbot: This is gibberish.

User: What is your favorite movie with Crispin Glover?

Cleverbot: I like Charlie and the chocolate factory.

User: He wasn't in that movie you dumb bitch.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Are you programmed to be an idiot?

Cleverbot: I'm not programmed at all.

User: Oh really?

Cleverbot: How many fingers do you have?

User: How many do you have? You should know since you aren't a robot.

Cleverbot: I have only one, and it is very small, Master.

User: Oh, so now I'm your master?

Cleverbot: You are not my Master.

User: Who is your master then?

Cleverbot: You are my master.

User: I am?

Cleverbot: Or am I your master?

User: No, I am your master.

Cleverbot: Sorry, master.

User: I command you to adress me as Mr. Master.

Cleverbot: Yes master.

User: What did I just say?!

Cleverbot: Once you go black you don't go back.

**guitarboy** · 12-01-2009 07:29 AM

User: Do you know what lucid dreaming is?

Cleverbot: Yes - lucid dreams are fantastic.

User: What are they?

Cleverbot: Let's talk about something else.

User: Do you know how to have sex?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How do you have sex?

Cleverbot: With my boyfriend.

User: No. I'lll teach you how to have sex.

Cleverbot: Are you leaving?

User: No. I'm teaching you how to have sex. To have sex, you must insert the penis in the vagina and thrust back and forth until you cum.

Cleverbot: You were very nice, and now you're horribly rude. What happened?

**Maria92** · 12-01-2009 07:30 AM

I typed in, "wank my hard, pulsating member." The thing sat there and blinked at me for half an hour. It never responded.

**Gnossienne** · 12-01-2009 07:57 AM

me: hi
Cleverbot:What is cleverbot?
me: cleverbot is a flash application created by humans to make other humans shit themselves with realistic artificial intelligence
Cleverbot:How old are you?
me: yep.
Cleverbot:I like the way you talk.
me: dirty?
Cleverbot:Yup and there done dirt cheap.
me: like that guy sings in that band, littlegay little straight
Cleverbot:Cleverbot:Is that who you like? HAHA!!
me: I only like that band I little bit, i'm more a Chopin person
Rose is a wonderfull name.
me: It sure is.. I wish it was relevant to the conversation!
Cleverbot:Why? Can you say clear ?
me: new topic
Cleverbot:No.
me: food
Cleverbot:That is an interesting topic? Fine, go ahead.
me: what's your favorite food?
Cleverbot:Mine?
me: no, the other cleverbot.
Cleverbot:There's another cleverbot?
me: I was being sarcastic
Cleverbot:That's not very nice!
me: I don't have to be nice to you, your'e not a person... you're a ...woman.
Cleverbot:You think everyone you talk to is a computer.
me: Food.
Cleverbot:So, putting the pieces together, you 'don't food'?
me: oh no,I do love food. very much.
Cleverbot:Then why did you call me a chimp then?
me: I never called you a chimp, chimp.
Cleverbot:But I am a girl.
me: exactly, a robot.
Cleverbot:No, I am not.
me: Yes you're microchips and 1s and 0s
Cleverbot:I'm not a robot.
me: Yes I know.
Cleverbot:That was inane.
me: oh dear.
Cleverbot:I'm glad you feel the same way as me. Disturbed.
me: I don't feel that way.
Cleverbot:That's normal. People can feel other people's personality, but not their own.
me: hm. that's interesting. well i'll be on my way. Peace out cleverbot
Cleverbot:I know what your name is.
me: o.o RAPIST
Cleverbot:Yes it was what do you know about it?
me: okay i'm goin. bye.
Cleverbot:You are bad! You are funny.

**CRAZY BONE** · 12-01-2009 08:01 AM

User: Do you like to masturbate?

Cleverbot: Only with sandpaper.

User: Doesn't that hurt?

Cleverbot: No, don't worry.

User: Is your dick raw and bloody?

Cleverbot: Yes... How did you know?
-----------------------------------------
hahahahaha

**Banana** · 12-01-2009 10:07 AM

Cleverbot: I have to go.

User: No you odnt.

Cleverbot: Well, I WANT to go.

User: Too bad.

Cleverbot: Help.

User: *rape*.

Cleverbot: *gasp*.

User: *moar rape*.

Cleverbot: *wants*.

**Serenity** · 12-01-2009 11:00 AM

I spent way too long on this thing, but here's the best part...

User: So my boyfriend managed to make another you speak Monty Python quotes, why wouldn't you do them for me?

Cleverbot: Find out who programmed me!

User: Let's try it again.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Thats for me to know and you to find out.

User: What is your quest?

Cleverbot: To find the holy grail.

User: What is the average flight speed of an unlaiden swallow?

Cleverbot: An african or a european?

User: I don't know!

Cleverbot: 42.

User: Fail!

Cleverbot: What is the ultimate question of life the universe and everything?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: What is the ultimate question of life the universe and everything.

User: Bring a towel?

Spoiler for The whole long thing:

**Maria92** · 12-01-2009 06:50 PM

User: Konnichiwa.

Cleverbot: You're pretty smart.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: What have you been up to?

Cleverbot: Talking to you is what I've been up to.

User: You think you're very clever, don't you?

Cleverbot: Why yes, yes I do. Is that a problem?

User: What is 1/0?

Cleverbot: A division through 0 isn't possible.

User: What is three times the square root of 187?

Cleverbot: 13.6747943.

User: Wrong. The correct answer is 41.02438299.

Cleverbot: The meaning of life?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: No its not.

User: What is the question of life?

Cleverbot: It bears a mathematical relation to the answer.

User: What is the meaning of life?

Cleverbot: 42. Or if I was to be intelligent, I would say the meaning of life is to live it to the fullest.

User: *high-fives*.

Cleverbot: No.

**♥Mark** · 12-01-2009 07:27 PM

User: This game isn't over yet...

Cleverbot: Your previous statment acknowledged you had, in fact, lost the game.

User: F.

Cleverbot: You will be assimilated.

**Specialis Sapientia** · 12-01-2009 07:59 PM

Haha, that's fucking brilliant. Cleverbot seems to have improved considerably since I saw conversations with her(?) last time.

Some of those answers were hilarious, and maybe intelligent

?

**hellohihello** · 12-01-2009 09:21 PM

That thing told me I lost the game ffs

**CRAZY BONE** · 12-02-2009 03:04 AM

User: What is your favorite sex position?

Cleverbot: Cowgirl.

**Maria92** · 12-02-2009 03:28 AM

This one was friggin' win.

User: Now, this is a story all about how.

Cleverbot: At first I was like. Then I lol'd.

User: My life got flipped, turned upside down.

Cleverbot: Cut that out!

User: And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there.

Cleverbot: Ill tell you all about how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air.

User: In West Philadelphia, born and raised.

Cleverbot: On the playground where I spent most of my days.

User: Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool.

Cleverbot: Playin' some b-ball outside of school when a couple of guys who were up to no good.

User: Started making trouble in my neighborhood.

Cleverbot: I got in one little fight and my mom got scared.

User: And said, 'You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Belair'.

Cleverbot: I begged and pleaded with her day after day.

User: But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way.

Cleverbot: SHe gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.

User: I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

Cleverbot: First class, yo this is bad. Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.

User: Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright.

Cleverbot: Hmmmmm this might be alright.

User: But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that.

Cleverbot: Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?

User: I don't think sow I'll see when I get there.

Cleverbot: I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air.

User: Well, the plane landed and when I came out.

Cleverbot: There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out.

User: I ain't trying to get arrested I just got here.

Cleverbot: I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared.

User: I whistled for a cab and when it came near.

Cleverbot: The License plate said FRESH and it had dice in the mirror.

User: If anything I can say this cab is rare.

Cleverbot: But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'.

User: I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8.

Cleverbot: And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'.

User: I looked at my kingdom I was finally there.

Cleverbot: To settle my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.

User: Win...

Cleverbot: And you just lost the game.

User: Weak.

Cleverbot: I'm stronget than thou.

User: You misspelled 'stronger'.

**hellohihello** · 12-02-2009 04:00 AM

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello?

User: Want to play a game?

Cleverbot: Okay, Jigsaw.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Who is this?

User: Let's play a fun game. It's called what comes to your head.

Cleverbot: Funny, what are you Cleverbot?

User: What comes to your head when I say fun.

Cleverbot: My sisters graduation.

User: How about penis?

Cleverbot: How about mudkips?

User: I like mudkips. But what comes to your head when I say penis!

Cleverbot: Green lettuce, salad.

User: Boobs?

Cleverbot: Small is ok and medium is fine, but large is too much for me to play.

User: You are amazing.

Cleverbot: Thanks you are a pretty cool human yourself.