
Originally Posted by
WakingNomad
I was in some desolate bombed-out cityscape. I was all alone. I said, "Fuck this madness! PUMPKIN MAN!" I turned into a giant pumpkin. I was the only colorful thing there. Everything else was just dirty grays. I tried to move, but I could only wiggle around. I grew two arms. I summoned two kitchen knives, and carved a face on myself. I felt like I was doing surgery on my own face. I was completely mad. I scooped my pumpkin guts out of my mouth. I screamed in horror and agony.
"WHO DID THIS TO ME? WHO DID THIS TO ME?" I screamed at the sky as I grew dozens of tiny robotic spider legs.
Dark, evil, drum'n'bass music boomed through the city. I shot a web out of my spinners in my pumkin ass, and began web slinging through the city. I grabbed my web with two huge man-arms, as I swung, spinning through the air between slings. BOOM BOOM BOOM WOWOWOWOW BOOM BA BOOM BOOM BOOM WAWAWAWWAWAWWAW
"WO DID THIS TO ME?" I screamed, grinning madly at nothing.
I came to woods and a small Dark Ages hamlet at the edge of the city. I sailed through the air landed in the town square. People screamed and ran in terror. I shot them with webs from my hands, and grabbed people. I ate them, and pooped them out, and they were be covered with bright orange soggy pumpkin guts in a daze.
I grew great green tendrils, and ran through the village out into a forest. There I saw Silverwolf. She was a little black witch. She stepped out of her cottage. Pixy looked at me concerned. "Tell me what I must do, Mother?" I said.
Silverwolf spoke as if in a trance, "You must let them cook you, love."
I laughed, and grew in size with each laugh. My tendrils grew longer. I ran to a castle and I banged on the gate with my tendrils. "Let me in, you fools! You must cook me!" Guards looked over the walls.
"The pumpkin monster!" they cried, and shot arrows at me.
"That will do nothing. You must cook me!"
The guards came out and threw a net over me. They put me in a cart with a cage on it, and rolled me into the city. "Kill the demon!" the people chanted. "Kill the monster." They took me out, and tied me to a stake in the city.
The main streets were cobblestone. All the buildings were stone with thatched roofs. I was grinning at the people as they laid fuel for the fire at my spiderbot feet. "KILL THE MONSTER!" they were chanting. I laughed at them, and my hollow laughter rang through the city.
"Cook me will you? I do not taste delicious! I will not be made a pie of! I taste like pure power, bitches!"
They lit flames under me, and I began to cook. My sking began to blister. "Cook me, will you?" I boomed at the townspeople. At that moment, dozens of pumpkins broke haflway or so through the ground. They had big glass eyes that were looking at all the people. Tendrils came out of the ground and grew rapidly toward the people, wrapping around their ankles.
"PUT OUT THE FIRE! PUT OUT THE FIRE!" they screamed.
"It's too late, bitches! Now you have to EAT ME! NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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