WILDing when you share a bed

**Amiana** · 10-12-2013 09:45 PM

Do any of you dreamers who know how to WILD share a bed with someone else? I'd love to know how you've balanced the two; unfortunately it seems like the best lucid dreams I've had have been on nights when I've slept on the floor.

I'm in bed at 9pm and up by 5am. My husband comes to bed at 2 am and sleeps as late as our baby will let him. Right when he's coming to bed and wants to cuddle, it's prime time for lucid dreaming and I want my space. This wouldn't be a problem if we could trade sleep schedules but that's not realistic at the moment.

Currently my only idea is to suggest that we make time for cuddling etc. before I go to bed and asking him to let me be in the wee hours, but I feel horrible for asking/wanting this.

**bemistaken** · 10-13-2013 01:16 AM

Hello Amiana,

I share you pain...I sleep with a person who 'hogs' our queen size bed. He is 6'2 and I'm 5'2, so when he turns over he takes everything with him (covers, pillows, etc.). To make matters worse, he sleeps really bad (tossing and turning) AND he talks in his sleep! What I have done in the past is during my WBTB, I don't go back to the bed I share with my husband. I go to my 'lucid hideout' which is either the couch or the recliner. I'm not great at WILD and I don't attempt it all the time, but my successful WILD's are ALWAYS when I'm sleeping alone. Come to think of it, I haven't done this type of WBTB (going back to sleep on a couch or the recliner) in awhile...I am going to do this tonight and see if I'm successful. Good luck to you!

**BarefootDreamer** · 10-13-2013 01:35 AM

My partner and I share a bed, and I when I approached them about me sleeping in my office occasionally they were ok with it. I'll often do what bemistaken does and go and sleep in my 'lucid hideout' (which is a little futon in my office) after I wake up (partner is a restless sleeper and can wake me up to a dozen times in the night with toilet breaks etc). Had a brief lucid this morning in shared bed (WILD or DEILD) I went back to sleep after a brief (<minute?) awakening, but I could feel my waking body as I was not very asleep so I woke up. Didn't matter anyway as partner's alarm went off minutes later!
It's difficult sharing a bed and trying to lucid. That sounds like a good idea asking for early cuddles, rather than waking you up in the middle of the night for them. Hopefully he will be understanding about it.

**FryingMan** · 10-13-2013 11:40 AM

Heh, my "lucid hideout" is a cabin in the woods away from the noise and light of the city for the weekend. It's awesome. I've had both my DILDs in the cabin. I've had some good vivid dreams in the city though, now I need to build my ability to LD in the city so location does not become a mental block.

**LukeSid** · 10-13-2013 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by FryingMan

Heh, my "lucid hideout" is a cabin in the woods away from the noise and light of the city for the weekend. It's awesome. I've had both my DILDs in the cabin. I've had some good vivid dreams in the city though, now I need to build my ability to LD in the city so location does not become a mental block.

I looked in there FryingMan...I'm not happy about the chainsaw and the hooks

**Amiana** · 10-13-2013 04:58 PM

I think I need to make one of these lucid hideouts!

Not sure how well the idea will go over with the other half but we'll see.

**FryingMan** · 10-15-2013 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by LukeSid

I looked in there FryingMan...I'm not happy about the chainsaw and the hooks

Well then I'd hate to hear what you have to say about the cement room hidden under floorboards in the garage.

**FryingMan** · 10-15-2013 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by amiana

I think I need to make one of these lucid hideouts!

Not sure how well the idea will go over with the other half but we'll see.

You can check with LukeSid for chainsaw and hook supplies, as he seems particularly interested in those

.

**Goldenspark** · 10-17-2013 06:33 AM

Hi Amiana, I have the same problem. My partner snores when she lies on her back, and countless times when I try to WILD after a WBTB she seems to turn on her back and disturb the attempt!

To be honest though I think the biggest difficulty I have is that I normally wake for the WBTB after a dream, so the next REM episode is 90 minutes away. I usually end up falling asleep in the WILD attempt.

**BarefootDreamer** · 10-19-2013 11:55 PM

I had another lucid dream in my shared bed the night before last. I was surprised as I expect to achieve lucidity in my 'hideout' but have been achieving it our shared bed instead! Actually it was a chain of 4, so it didn't matter that I was woken up by my partner once. I am finding that if I wake in the morning, and immediately close my eyes to go back to sleep, as soon as I start to see hypnogogic images, I just repeat to myself ' I am dreaming' and/or 'I am lucid' and I will become aware I am dreaming shortly after falling asleep ( I don't know what this 'method' is called, but it works almost every time). I did this four times in a row, each time back into the same dream.

Good luck! Let us know how you are going.