New Dream Adventures of Raven Knight

01/15/14

I am in a city I don't recognize. I look around to see if I can identify it. It looks like a city out of a fantasy RPG such as Skyrim or Oblivion. There are various people walking around and chatting, various races. I spot a couple orcs, several feline kajiit, and a small cluster of argonians among the more human like races. I decide since I know approximately where I am I need to find out why I'm there. In this kind of game one can often find information in a local pub. So I walk down the street, searching for an inn or a pub. I see some other shops. An apothecary, an armor shop, and a weapons shop, and then a pub. The pub is called the Drunken Troll. I know I've never heard of that particular pub in the parts of the games I've played, but that doesn't matter. Things don't always match perfectly. I go into the pub.

Inside the pub it is relatively quiet. It is the middle of the day, and there aren't too many people in there drinking yet. Two khajiit are having an animated conversation in the corner, the merchant at the bar is a nord, and a small group of wood elves seem to be celebrating something at one of the tables in the main sitting area. The nord at the bar looks bored, so I go over to him. He asks what I'll have. He says he is fresh out of nordish ale, his shipment is running late. I wonder if that could lead to a quest. Maybe some bandits are causing trouble or something like that.

I am about to ask something about it when a man enters the room, looking breathless. He is carrying a large crate which he sets on the bar. The nord says never mind... the nordish ale is here. The man who just entered looks like another nord. The delivery man says the merchant isn't going to believe what he just saw outside. The merchant laughs and asks what he saw this time, a khajiit kissing an argonian? The delivery man says nope. He saw the strangest looking miniature khajiit walking down the street talking to this little metal golem. The merchant just gives him a strange look. The delivery man adds that the little golem has wings like a bird of some kind. The merchant starts laughing. The delivery man says he is not into the skooma again, he has given up that stuff. I wonder what he has seen, so I decide to check it out. I get up and head out. The merchant calls after me that he doesn't sell skooma... he runs a reputable establishment! Come back! I tell him I'll probably be back after I check out this miniature khajiit. The merchant says the delivery man is just blowing smoke. The delivery man says he really saw it!

I go outside onto the street. I look up and down the street to see if anything looks strange. I spot what is out of place right away. Walking down the middle of the road are a couple of individuals that I would never have expected to see in a Tamriel type world. Ratchet the lombax and Clank the robot. Wtf? They are looking around in a perplexed manner. I get closer to them and I can hear them talking. Ratchet is asking Clank if he has any idea where they are. Clank says there is no place in his databases that matches this place. Ratchet says an even better question is how did they get here. Clank looks at me strangely. He says he doesn't know that, either, but the locals are staring. Ratchet looks where Clank is looking, at me, and asks if I have never seen a lombax and a robot before. I say not in this dimension. Oh, and by the way, I'm not a local. And I am pretty certain that the people here have never seen either a lombax or a robot. And I am wondering how exactly this has happened... Is someone messing with dimensions again?

A couple of people walk by, talking a bit too loud. One of them says look at the funny little khajiit. An actual khajiit looks at Ratchet and says there is no way that pathetic thing is a khajiit. Ratchet hears that and gives the khajiit a dirty look. Clank puts one hand on Ratchet and says not to start any trouble. The khajiit talks like a typical khajiit, says, "Urj'Jirr thinks that little one has an attitude problem." Ratchet looks around and says Urj'Jirr should say that to him directly instead of getting a pal to say it. The khajiit, Urj'Jirr, says, "Urj'Jirr just did. Urj'Jirr says the little one is not too bright." Now Ratchet just has a confused look on his face. He says there is definitely something wrong with the people here. Urj'Jirr looks annoyed and says, "Maybe Urj'Jirr should teach the strange one some manners." Urj'Jirr's companion takes his arm, however. Ratchet is annoyed again and says, "Well maybe Urj'Jirr should just try it... if HE has the balls!" Urj'Jirr starts to make a move, but his friend restrains him. His friend, an imperial I think, says no... he is absolutely not going to bail Urj'Jirr's ass out of jail again. The friend points at a couple of guards who are now watching us. Urj'Jirr says, "Urj'Jirr thinks the little one got lucky... this time." Urj'Jirr's friend forcibly pulls him away. Ratchet is muttering that he'll show that Urj'Jirr who was lucky... Clank tells Ratchet to calm down, they have to figure out where they are and how to get back home.

I look and make sure Urj'Jirr is really leaving, which he is, though he seems reluctant. He and his friend go into the pub. Great... just what the city needs. A drunk, conceited khajiit looking for a fight. I tell Ratchet and Clank I have no idea how they got here, but I do believe I can help them out with getting home. Clank says that would be very helpful. I focus on opening a portal to get to Ratchet and Clank's home dimension. Nothing happens right away, but I don't have time to focus long before I see a nord dressed in armor coming down the street sounding an alarm. Most everyone is running for shelter. Ratchet and Clank are just watching him, I am there with them wondering what is happening. The guard comes over when he sees we aren't running and says the goblins are attacking, everyone who can't fight needs to seek shelter. Ratchet asks who said he couldn't fight. The guard pauses and then says no one. He says if Ratchet is willing and able to help, any assistance would be appreciated and surely rewarded as well as the guard is quite outnumbered. The guard pauses... then asks if Ratchet is a khajiit... he's never seen a khajiit quite like him. Ratchet says he's a lombax. The guard makes like he knows what that means, moves off a couple steps, then stops and says, "A what?" But Ratchet doesn't notice, he is heading in the direction the guard indicated the goblin attack is in. Clank follows after, jumping up into the air and somehow getting hold on Ratchet's back for a piggy back ride.

I follow Ratchet and Clank down the street. We are going against the flow of the main crowd, but the crowd dwindles soon as we reach the edge of town. There is a wall there, and guards are closing the gate. Ratchet and Clank get through just before the gate closes. I just jump over the wall. The guards stare at that in surprise. I land next to Ratchet and Clank on the other side of the wall. There are large numbers of goblins running at the city. The guards, being quite outnumbered, are trying to hold them back. Most of the fighters are nords, but there are other races mixed in. I wonder if Urj'Jirr might be there somewhere since he had been looking for a fight. The goblins attack everyone equally. They don't care if their target is nord, khajiit, lombax, or robot... The goblins are many but not too bright. Ratchet throws a grenade bomb into a group of goblins. One of them picks it up and seems very interested in it right up to the point where it explodes in his hand and takes him out along with a few goblins right around him. No one pays the explosion much notice, as there are other explosions around caused by mages throwing fireballs. Ratchet jumps into the air, practically flying by using Clank as a jet pack and is dropping more bombs down among the goblins. I see one goblin actually try to eat one of them before it explodes. I form my arm into an Alex Mercer blade and enter into the fray, cutting a path through the attacking goblins.

The fight is pretty chaotic, so I don't see a lot of details of what is going on. But I finally spot that there seems to be one person directing the attack… and for some reason it doesn't surprise me that the person is Robert de Sable. Robert is throwing balls of flaming dark energy at those who are fighting his goblins. He throws a dark fireball at a khajiit who has his back turned. The dark fireball is detonated by an energy blast that I track back to Ratchet's gun. The khajiit notices that and turns on Robert. That is my main target… so I head over there. I get closer and recognize that khajiit… it turns out that Urj'Jirr is there, and is now closing in on Robert de Sable. Robert is more focused on Ratchet right now and not paying any attention to Urj'Jirr. I get close enough for him to hear me. Robert says there is no reason Ratchet has to stay in one piece and prepares to throw a dark energy fire ball. Urj'Jirr is right behind him and says, "Urj'Jirr thinks the goblin lover should pick on someone his own size," and whacks him upside the head with a mace. Urj'Jirr then proceeds to pound Robert repeatedly with his mace. The mace isn't getting past a dark energy shield. Robert is laughing at the khajiit's attacks. He throws a dark energy fireball at Urj'Jirr. I use a biomass shield to block it, more of the blast hits Robert than Urj'Jirr. About three grenades land right in Robert's face and explode. Several arrows stick in Robert's back, I'm not sure where those came from. Yet Robert is still laughing. He says he is much too strong to be killed by such things. An aura of dark energy flames surrounds Robert. A blast of dark energy forces everyone in his near vicinity away from him.

"HEY, ROBERT, YOU CHICKEN-WUSS!" I call out to Robert. He looks over at me and laughs some more. He just cleared the area around him, so I use the opportunity to use a ground spike attack on him from Alex Mercer's arsenal of attacks. Robert teleports over closer to Urj'Jirr, who attacks him immediately. Robert laughs at the khajiit and then says there is chaos here… his work is done. He disappears in a blast of dark energy that throws Urj'Jirr about 20 feet in my direction. " Urj'Jirr says Robert is a coward…" and then calls out, "Come back and fight, coward! Come back and face Urj'Jirr like a warrior instead of hiding like a cave rat!" But Robert doesn't respond. He is gone yet again. I run over to where he disappeared and focus on opening a portal to follow him. A portal opens and I jump through it. He is not getting away this time. Urj'Jirr follows right behind me. Wtf? That's the last thing I needed… some khajiit following me to some random dimension. On the other side I look around a forested landscape. I see no sign of Robert. Urj'Jirr is also looking around in a puzzled manner. Urj'Jirr asks where Robert has gone, then yells out again that Robert should come out and fight. I tell Urj'Jirr that Robert won't be coming out to fight… he really is too much of a coward. I know him well. And now I can't even follow him again, I have to take Urj'Jirr home. In fact, I shouldn't have followed him to begin with… I have to take Ratchet and Clank home.

I curse to myself and open a portal back to the goblin battle. When I get there and Urj'Jirr follows me I see the battle is pretty much over. Without their leader, most of the goblins have turned around and headed back to their caves. Urj'Jirr looks around and then heads over to help out the imperial I saw him with earlier. I look around to see where Ratchet and Clank are. I finally spot them not too far off. I head over in their direction, at least they're ok. So it should be as simple as returning them home. I get over to Ratchet and Clank and tell them I can still get them back home. Clank is wanting to know how they got here in the first place. I tell him someone has been doing that a lot, though I'm not sure what his goal is… still got to find that out… or just take the idiot out… I focus on opening a portal to Ratchet and Clank's home world. A portal opens and I look through into a futuristic looking city. It looks like the right place. Ratchet and Clank finally go through the portal just before everything fades and I wake up.