Thread: Merlin's Yoga Mat

This kind of learning should evolve over months and years. It stays with you and you end up becoming different, and that increases over time. You are ready for WILD.

Once again I have returned, after a few months with next to no recall, I decided it was time to make a change and dedicate myself to practicing again. The past week has been a bit eye opening to realise just how un-aware I had been for quite some time, I had been filling my mind with the soft haze of smoking cannabis, but it had dulled my memory and awareness much more than I had thought. I feel clear and present minded and it is a very welcome change, and having made the decision on my own I feel as though there is a strong motivation behind my effort and practice which has not been there for quite some time. I have found a connection with crystals while I have not been focussed on dreaming in the past year or so, with some of them appearing in my dreams days before I got them. I am unsure of what crystals truly are or represent, but they have helped me find a feeling of intuition and peace as things change around me.

I made the decision to stop smoking and come back funnily enough after watching the latest X-men movie. A scene where in Charles Xavier needed to overcome his addiction to a drug which stopped him from accessing his powers in order to help change the future. It struck a chord with me, I have had an intuitive feeling for quite some time that in some way the practice of lucid dreaming and development of the skills like the ones in this course are somehow going to be important in the future and that the time to change is now. I try not to analyse it, as making a belief or thought behind it I feel would simply hide what is truly there, and I have learned more and more to trust that intuitive sense and gut feeling, and so I stepped forward and made the change and within a couple of days my dreams and clarity had returned. I have had a couple of lucids already within the past week and I feel that with my continued effort I will begin to exceed my previous abilities, and overcome the mental limitations that held me back before, such as my lack of confidence in my ability to teleport which still eluded me when I spent quite a while trying in my lucid!

My dreams have been very symbolic lately, even the rare ones I remembered in the last few months, and I have been finding a sense of trust in the guidance of my dreaming mind. When I first began lucid dreaming I was fascinated by the idea of finding my dream guide - to be able to sit and talk with my subconscious and just discuss what I need to do and be told amazing wonderful answers to any question. I spent many lucids trying to find a guide and whilst not finding anyone who said that they were my dream guide, I did find three commonly themed characters that have been represented again in dreams, and I try to pay attention to their appearance. Two are black men, one with a pure golden energy who is happy and compassionate, and the other with a dark energy, who has tried to kill me, but also simply tested my skill on one occasion. The third is the archetype of an older white man with grey hair, who has appeared many times in different ways, and tends to be somewhat of a teacher.

I did once in a blurry, unstable lucid dream, talk to a DC who was myself but female, who said that she represented my subconscious mind. I asked why I was not able to just sit down and talk and communicate to find my answers more often. The response I received was simply that if I wasn't taught through symbols and ideas, I wouldn't truly learn. I remembered of this recently and it brought me some comfort to see in myself that I am beginning to intuitively understand some of the riddles and symbols of my dreams, but I still wonder if I will ever truly know the extent to which I can learn from my dreams, my sub/super conscious, or myself. I feel a sense at least that I am in the right direction, that despite anything I know, or anything that happens, that those parts of my consciousness exist in some form.

I am beginning to meditate every day again, and practicing the skills from this dream yoga class. There are new lessons which I have not yet tried, and I feel as though I should start with the beginning lessons again and make sure I haven't developed bad habits. I tried in the shower running the water down my arms to remember the mental sensation of moving energy throughout my body, and it brought back some of my previous control, but I feel that the flow is not as easy or open as it used to be. Focussing on my chakras will sometimes produce some very mild sensations but not the warmth and softness that I used to get. I have a tension within my shoulders/chest and my stomach and I feel as though this may be related somehow, and I want to with time and effort overcome the blockages that I have accumulated. I also find that when I focus on my root chakra I feel a sense of fear, as I have read warnings about the possibilities of kundalini activation before I am ready, and the consequences of diving in without being prepared first. This sometimes produces sharp almost stabbing sensations, and I shy away from it. This also fear represents itself in my solar plexus when I think about the consequences of my actions in the present and their effect on possible outcomes of the future. I feel that in time I must proceed, and I have a calming feeling that comes from deep within that with time, everything will be fine and when the time is right these things have a tendency to show themselves as necessary steps of learning which sort themselves out in their own natural ways. I simply want to take steps in the right direction

Wow! That was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be when I started typing it! Sorry for the wall of text, this workbook is an excellent place to use as a progressive journal.

Great to hear from you again. I know from personal experience that cannabis dampens all ream related skills, and eventually has a dulling effect on everything meditation and energy related. It is good that you have choosen to back away from it on your own. Perhaps someone could some times use it, but it tends to become a life style, and these higher paths just get forgotten.
Do not worry about Kundalini. Guru have used fear tactics to force people to follow them. Simply feeling it stir and flex in the root is good for you and will not cause it to burst forth. It requires an intent to manipulate it to go wrong. If you are just witnessing it, you will be fine.

Ah I wrote out a post here the other day but must not have clicked post - I sat down to meditate and found that I had a lot of trouble breathing deeply and freely due to tension in my neck/shoulders, something I normally find when I'm sitting, which caused me to lay down when I was first learning. I decided not to get frustrated and lay down, but instead to delve deeper into it and try to breathe as deeply as I could, hold it, and exhale as far as I could. I recently read an article about Tonglen, inhaling the suffering of the world and breathing out love and compassion, and something about it made me curious. I had done it long ago when I first was learning basic energy control, and used it to attempt healing on a troubled ex-girlfriend of the time, and my sick cat who recovered within the day. After the messy breakup with the ex though, it left me unwilling to take in negative energies, and I built up a stigma against it in not wanting to take in anything that could potentially cause harm. This time though, as I breathed in, I visualised all the dark energy of suffering compressing as my chest tightened, until the pressure and tension turned it to light compassionate energy, like black carbon turns into a diamond. After a few minutes of these deep breaths I noticed that it no longer took so much effort to inhale and exhale deeply, and I felt a gentle wholeness within myself.

I have also been turning the water off in the shower and standing under the cold water, whispering the mantra "I am aware when I am dreaming" while focussing on my breath and aiming to keep this thought continuous. I notice that my mind immediately draws itself to the coldness of the water, and my breath stiffens, but I am not shocked by the transition, and remain focussed on the mantra. I feel the more I do this the more I will notice that I really am reacting in other ways that I simply haven't seen yet. I also got into the shower with the water quite hot, and instead of turning it down simply remained calm and tried to do the same thing but with the opposite temperature, and it quickly went from unpleasant to a very nice temperature

I am also beginning with basic skill #1 again and will be focussing on maintaining awareness of my senses as much as possible throughout the day. I have practiced paying attention to the sensation of touch intermittently over the past year, being aware of many points of my body at once, and I find it easier to hold focus of many things at once, rather than focus on one singular thing such as 'regular' meditation on the breath. I have been getting better at that too, but still have progress to be made of course!

Last night I got up at around 5:30am to get a drink of water, and as I went back to bed my cat followed me in, and kept me awake for about an hour purring and generally being a cat I got tired of being awake and kicked her out of bed to go back to sleep, and ended up finding myself experiencing the vibrations of SP for the first time in a long time! I kept myself calm, and began to have brief visualisations of a dream and I remember talking to someone, but at the same time still being very aware of the vibrations and sensations going on. Unfortunately, my focus began to slip and I found myself waking up, and the sensations quickly faded, which is what tends to happen when I get to that point. I seem to have trouble just crossing the final boundary.

I have also started a new mantra of "I lucid dream every night" which seems to have resulted in having a brief lucid last night, where I successfully teleported myself to what I thought was China. I was still rather caught up in the non-lucid dream but it is good to see progress. I simply closed my eyes and visualised a different place, which failed the first time, but I really put some oomph into it the 2nd and it worked I look forward to experimenting with teleporting more tonight

I have been reading over the previous lessons, and practicing throughout the day, building ontop of one another. I have been using diffuse vision while also focusing on my sense of touch, trying to become aware of all that is in my visual field while also feeling my body. Holding many things in my attention at once seems a lot easier than it used to be, as I've practiced sporadicaly since the course started. Re-reading the lessons has been helping to bring a sense of purpose to the skills though, it seems a lot more obvious now how many of these directly relate to dreaming, like being able to focus on the sense of touch while also looking around and noticing the visual field. It makes sense that stabilisation methods like rubbing your hands together and focussing on each sense individually come about and have become part of the guides here, but developing the natural awareness of your senses and body, learning to control and manipulate sensations of touch, visualisation, etc all play their part in making this a natural, passive experience.

The intermediate skill lesson 2 and 3 seemed quite natural and easy to me, as it is very similar to what I learned as energy work, to focus attention to various points of the body and move smoothly and fluidly between them. I learned beginning with a mental 'brushing' along the surface of the skin, and then 'sponging' feeling as though you were running a bottle-brush through the area and feeling around the circumference of the part of focus and moving between them. This energy circuit would start at the toes and move up the legs, back, peak at the crown, and then move back down the front of the body, and then progressed to quick 'bouncing' of this energy back and forth rapidly moving the focus and sensation without losing it inbetween. It is refreshing to be practicing this more again, and I have seen that practicing the other skills of the course has helped already to bring back some ease and speed of this energy control.

The swaying circular motion of changing these points of focus from hairline, left ear, base of skull etc and moving in this motion also seemed natural. I find sometimes that when I sit cross legged on my comfy padded spinny chair, that I naturally spin side to side for some reason, though my body is still. I thought this was intriguing enough to make note of.

I will continue to practice all these skills with them refreshed in my mind. It seems the longer I practice them the more I come to realise they are all related, and each contributes to others. I am curious as to what I will find as my proficiency increases, and I begin to draw more links between them and how it effects my dreaming. In particular, I feel that my lucids will be much longer and more stable, with less rushing and confusion, due to calm awareness

The side to side sensation you mention is an effect of kundalini. You must have some flow from base to crown. Do not worry. It is a good thing if it comes naturally.

That is interesting to hear, I will simply allow it to exist and observe it when it next arises

I meditated yesterday and a strange pain and energy sensation in my left shoulder arose, and I investigated it with the intent to observe and clear it. As I payed attention to it, it increased, before it quickly moved down to my right side in my torso. I found a strange sensation in flowing energy between these points, in an angled circle around my body, and both pains quickly dissipated. I then decided to experiment, and tried to make more of these circular circuits, in a similar orbit to what you would see in a picture of electrons spinning around an atom. Two angled to the sides, and then one vertical and I also tried one horizontal. I noticed it was much easier to keep just one energy circuit going, but when I focussed on them in a similar matter to listening to many things at once, I could do it though it was pushing the limits of my attention and I would begin to skip from one to the other.

One thing I noticed while doing diffuse vision, was my tendency for my eyes to flicker slightly as my mind pays attention to smaller details within my field of view. Even if my eyes are not actively moving the central point of focus, it is a quick reaction that happens and learning to sit and notice it all without my eyes doing this is fun. I have been attempting to hold diffuse vision as I walk around my house, as it is especially tricky not to get my eyes to focus as things move. I used to try as a kid sitting in the car looking out the window to watch the trees pass by without my eyes tracking them, and I found that my eyes would always flick side to side, and I eventually figured it out by focussing on the glass of the car window and mentally look at the trees behind it. Perhaps I will try looking at what is infront of me as though it is behind the 'glass' of my eyes - to give my mind somewhere to hold my eyes to while letting me take in the entire field of vision.

I was focussing closely on a crystal, examining it and trying to let my eyes relax when I noticed that around the edges the light was distorted. This was really noticable as I held it up infront of my face and moved it side to side infront of the straight edge of my window, and could see it bend and 'push' the light around. At first I thought that it was the crystal, but I experimented and found that around the edges of all objects infront of my eyes, such as my finger or my calculator, light is actually actively bending and distorting around them! I have not picked up on this before, though I knew it from physics as it happens around planets and black holes, but I was not aware that it happened on such a small scale. It is another reminder that what happens at the scale of galaxies and universes is always happening around and within us aswell. EDIT: It is not actually all things infront of my vision, as I noticed that the edges of my dresser when I repeated the same movement infront of a straight line did not distort the light at all. I am going to continue playing with this, it has really sparked my intrigue! I don't see a field of colour around the edges, and I am not sure if this is what would commonly be called an aura, but the underlying mechanism could be something similar.

I had a lucid dream and finally teleported too! I succeeded in closing my eyes and visualising myself at the point where I wanted to stand, and it just worked. I feel as though it is due to a lot of things, but increased visualisation, confidence and expectation have likely played a big role in it. I am quietly confident in knowing that I am progressing in breaking down the mental barriers I have developed, and learning more I also met a very strange DC who stood out greatly, as she was dressed head to toe in purple, holding purple crystals and had purple eyes! Eyes seem to have been a theme to my dreams lately, and when I looked into her eyes I was unsure as to whether she was really just a DC, but her behaviour was not eccentric and she didn't behave as though she really had a mind of her own, but it was a strange feeling I got.

All exciting and great stuff. It is not really light bending, and yes it is related to auras. The nature of auras is not the exact same thing as vision. When you start to sense energy your mind reaches for some way to represent it. It is often viewed as something visual, but it does not distort things behind it. Keep experimenting with that in mind. That is, it is not truely visual, but your brain is attempting to translate what you sense and vision is its first attempt at showing you that it has picked up on something. Like this, your brain senses something, and goes, "hey, look there is a,,,, hmmm, light? around that object? Yeh, sure, ummm, a light I guess,,, anyways, look!"

Hm very interesting I was curious as to if it was simply light, and tried to capture it with my phone camera, and there was nothing there which wasn't too surprising. What was though, is that for 10-15 minutes after I tried that I couldn't see it happening anymore! I sat and meditated for a while and tried it again, and the effect was there again. I think that helps it make more sense, in that it isn't my regular visual sense but a rough translation that I am seeing as my mind tries to understand it for the first time.

The last two nights I have gone to bed a bit over confident, trying to push my way into having a lucid dream every night. Using the mantras 'I lucid dream every night' and 'I will have a great lucid dream tonight'. I am conscious of the fact that I am hindering myself in really wanting to LD instead of just letting it be. I know I am capable and that I can overcome this mental block, much the same as I have now overcome my own silly limit I had of teleporting, but it is almost paradoxical in trying to force it to happen just makes it happen less, but that idea itself could be what is holding me back. Ah! Running around in circles. If I continue practicing my awareness then it will happen on it's own as I continue to develop those skills, and I should accept my dreams no matter lucid or non-lucid, either way I will always continue to dream

I have been progressing with my dreaming over the past few weeks, as my awareness has been increasing in day to day activities and blending into my dreams as well. My recall is at a high point and has been fantastic, as though I have not been having many lucids, I have been having tonnes of very vivid and symbolic non-lucids. I have really been enjoying waking up each day having had the experiences of those dreams and being able to reflect on how they relate to the subtle thought processes of my mind, and have been applying the lessons I learn within them to help with my progression on my path and in my every day life.

As far as practicing the skills of dream yoga and meditating, I feel I have not been doing so as much as I should have, but I still apply myself thoroughly to bring that sense of awareness into everything I do, even when I do not sit and do formal practice. When I do sit though I have found that my attention wanders quickly, but I am also able able to find a deeper sense of stillness when I do apply myself. I need to put in the solid effort and stop my distractions, to see how far I can dive within, and to simply be still, and to be.

My dreams lately have had themes of time travel again, of going back in time to try and correct previous mistakes in the dream plot. This is something that has been a theme for a long time and I am still unsure of as to the meaning. I do not know if it relates to a worry of past mistakes, or of actions in the now creating something bad to happen in the future, perhaps both. I feel as though I will eventually find the answer and progress through it, as it has been something that feels important to me for quite a long time. I feel as though it is a matter of not worrying about past or future, but simply embracing the now and knowing that is all that I need to be safe and comfortable. I feel as though I am looking outside myself for the answers to these questions/feelings, and instead need to look further within in stillness.

I have been lazier, and uni has returned and taken up a large portion of my day but I am still applying myself. Every night I have been going to bed with the intent to have lucid dreams, but I have not had one for at least a couple of weeks now, and my dreams have also become more symbolic and abstract lately. Every morning when I get up I do some stretches, a sun salutation and breathing. I have also been shutting off the hot water in the shower before I get out. My observations so far on this
have been interesting. I find that I can hold the mantra 'I am dreaming' in my mind while I notice the change, but I am quickly flooded by sensation, I notice as my chest contracts and my breath sharpens, as my body reacts to the water.

This morning I was reluctant to make the water cold, as the heat was nice, but I did anyway and stayed under the water longer than I usually do, and found that it was actually quite nice after I got used to it. The thought came to my mind and drew a parallel to an idea that even when we think something may be unpleasant, when we immerse ourselves in it fully without expectation then we see that it not unpleasant, only different, and we were simply reluctant to change

Good observation on expectation. I had a realization while standing in a cold river. I had been looking at this as a form of conflict. I would face the cold water and 'resist' the unpleasant cold, like it was a battle, and I was going to be strong. I realized that by maintaining calm and accepting the cold, reaaly letting it envelop me, that the fight was over, and I just was. I had been Eric fighting the cold, and became Eric experiencing the cold. Nothing changed except my mindset, yet suddenly it was different and pleasant.
This helps in LDing because far to often we are woken by a sudden jolt of realization. The thought "wow! This realy is a dream!" Can affect you much like the stream of cold water. The same thing happens in WILD when serious HH or the transition happens. The change you can make while awake in how you deal with the water is the key to handling the sudden jolts in dreaming.
I think you are on the verge of making a breakthrough. This lesson was never about becoming macho and tough, it is about changing how you deal with it.

Originally Posted by sivason

Good observation on expectation. I had a realization while standing in a cold river. I had been looking at this as a form of conflict. I would face the cold water and 'resist' the unpleasant cold, like it was a battle, and I was going to be strong. I realized that by maintaining calm and accepting the cold, reaaly letting it envelop me, that the fight was over, and I just was. I had been Eric fighting the cold, and became Eric experiencing the cold. Nothing changed except my mindset, yet suddenly it was different and pleasant.
This helps in LDing because far to often we are woken by a sudden jolt of realization. The thought "wow! This realy is a dream!" Can affect you much like the stream of cold water. The same thing happens in WILD when serious HH or the transition happens. The change you can make while awake in how you deal with the water is the key to handling the sudden jolts in dreaming.
I think you are on the verge of making a breakthrough. This lesson was never about becoming macho and tough, it is about changing how you deal with it.

This made me realise I needed to rethink how I approach becoming lucid. In my mind there has been a large separation between just a dream and having a 'lucid dream', so my motivation has been acting in seperate directions. When in reality, they are both the same thing, they are just experiencing a dream. I need to only focus on the dream, that I should be Alex experiencing the Dream, not 'Alex trying-to-lucid-dream'. Much like when I am hesitant to turn the hot tap off because I know the water will be cold, I have been resisting changing my approach to lucid dreaming, and need to simply allow my dreaming to be, but be there and have confidence that the change will be pleasant, much like it is once the water seems inviting despite the cold.

I must also thank you, this class has been a brilliant guide for me and helps keep me motivated in keeping my focus and awareness. You are an excellent teacher and the skills I have learned here have really helped me both with dreaming and with mindfulness

I have been very persistant with my journalling and my recall has sky rocketed in the past 3 weeks, and it has been very refreshing to have dreams again after 6 weeks of remembering nothing every night. I am currently on the brink of lucidity every night, the past three nights I have acknowledged in the dream to others that I know I am dreaming, but it is a low level of lucidity, and I haven't really broken through to be fully aware and conscious of the fact that I am dreaming, or to take control of the dream. Still, the dreams have been very vivid and have been entertaining at least, though I am clearly troubled by something as there is a theme of being chased lately. Likely this is partly due to some of the stresses from my waking life, with exams and assessments at university putting the pressure on. I am proud of myself as normally during these times I get buried down and forget about my dreaming, but it has been much the opposite. I feel as though the effort and persistance I have chosen to put in to my dreaming has also helped me keep an active and positive mindset and fuelled my motivation to study and made it feel less stressful.

I feel like I need to progress with my dreaming, that I am now feeling comfortable in the skills I have accumulated over the years, but I haven't pushed my boundaries and learned new techniques or really excelled at achieving the lucid goals I have had. I have been motivating myself with the Task of the Month to play an instrument that does not exist, as I would love to write a song in a dream and bring it back and play it in waking life, but did not remember my goal in the last lucid I had. Getting lucid more often, with more control is where I think I need to progress to, and it has been something I have always aimed to achieve, in a lot of ways I still feel like a beginner sometimes and I know I have a long way to progress.

I think the area I need to improve on most is my meditation, and in turn my WILD. I have always had a very noisy mind, and when learning meditation I struggled a lot with clearing my thoughts to silence, I have only had a couple of very brief moments in total of silence where I was not thinking. I commonly have a song stuck in my head on a loop, and find that my mind tends to wander. I instead found that I did better with broadening my awareness, making my mind focus on many senses at once, trying to hold in my attention my breathing, hearing, touch, etc all at once, and I found that this brought me a feeling of stillness as it would keep my mind focussed, having enough things to pay attention to which would finally allow the thoughts to subside momentarily. I have not been meditating lately and I feel now that it is something I should begin practicing again, but to maintain effort and truly learn to silence my mind. At the end of the day I think this is something that will come down to persistance and will, to not get distracted by thoughts and allow myself to get fidgety/restless whilst sitting and want to stand up and walk around.

My WILD technique suffered from this as when I was first learning I would lay and pay attention to my breath, but still have lots of thoughts swirling in my mind, and when the time came that my body would begin to vibrate and the transition in to a dream began I would not be relaxed and still enough to make it all the way, and would snap out of it eventually. Nowadays I have not even found myself experiencing the transition sensations, though I know that one of the few times I have successfully WILD'd was without any obvious sensations and it is not something I should be particularly worried about. What does stop me, is still my thoughts, as I lay and simply get tired, and my body begins to feel restless and pent up, a feeling of tension practically screaming from inside my muscles to move, and I simply roll over and go to sleep. I think furthering my ability to meditate, to quiet my thoughts more, and to be able to persevere through that restless sensation throughout my body will allow me to progress more.

WILD has never been my focus because I have simply passed it off as something I haven't been interested in, but I feel as though it will help with my DILD in ways I do not understand yet. As always, there is all the time in the world, but I am dedicating myself to dreaming now more than I have in years, and it feels wonderful to do so

Thank you for this topic, g0d damn (sorry) I just like this forum, so much inspiration soulmates I saw here, great!!