I want to resolve and end these dreams that are related to past trauma!

**Okapi** · 03-11-2015 04:58 AM

These two recurring dream themes are happening more than once in a week, and both are distressing. I've had them for a while but sometimes they recur even more frequently (and they have been lately).

One is that a specific shameful thing, related to abuse that I went through, is happening. Sometimes the person who did it isn't in the dream, and sometimes they are, but either way, the feeling is the same: disgusted and hurt and upset. It feels like it just happened all over again for a minute when I wake up. Sometimes I'm even putting myself through it in the dream, rather than the person who really did it to me doing it. That feels even worse because then I feel responsible and ashamed, and ruined.

The other is that I'm trying to escape and I'm afraid no one will let me leave so I have to lie and hide and run away, I'll be changing sweatshirts so no one sees me on camera and I'll be hiding and breaking out of windows and covering up in the car and trying to get family to help by covering for me. It's from the hospital I went to for my eating disorder. And the hospital itself, in real life, I don't hate. I think it represents something else in the dream. Because it was a helpful experience in real life. But it also meant facing the trauma I went through, and opening up that can of worms in therapy there, and it was so much more painful than I could've imagined.

I don't know if the dream of escaping treatment is like a war between the part of me that maintains my eating disorder and the part of me that wants to recover? Because usually in the dream I go back willingly but then realize right away it was a grave mistake, and I need to get out, because it's even worse to be there than to be out and be sick.

Both dreams really suck. The shameful thing from the abuse dream is something I get more than once a week. I guess I just wish I could make the dream stop happening as often, or at least end differently. Any suggestions or interpretations? I can recount the last escape dream specifically, so that symbols can be interpreted...I can also recount the shameful one but that would be harder to write out...

**fogelbise** · 03-11-2015 11:59 PM

I am sorry to hear about this. I can't truly imagine what that must be like. I am doing a little reading up on PTSD and lucid dreaming for someone and also wanted to see what dreamviews had on here and it led me to this section of the forum and your recent post here. So far I have only been reading about war veterans and PTSD around the web but I imagine that some of the treatments would be the same. One that sounded promising is called Imagery Rehearsal Therapy for nightmares. There are some youtube videos on it as well. That would seem to fit in more with the abuse nightmares which may have less to learn from them than the escaping treatment one. For that second one, you may also want to post the dream in the dream interpretation part of the forum as there may be something to discover about yourself as you elude to. I am not good with dream interpretation but the dream telling you that going back for treatment was a grave mistake may just be telling you more about the pain of facing an issue?? I am not sure. I do know that we often think that running away from our problems is easier than facing or resolving them and I wonder if it could be preparing you for that?? I could be way off base! I hope that you have a professional that you can confide in. Good luck!

**Occipitalred** · 03-12-2015 12:42 AM

Hello Okapi, I wish you the best of luck in exploring and passing through that forest. I think fogelbise's comment was a good one!

Because I do not have experience of abuse or eating-disorders, I wouldn't be good at interpreting those dreams or giving advice. However, I can say that I have been getting recurring dreams lately, related to something that has been worrying me particularly. They are always different but have the same theme, the same two elements. And I know what they are referencing to. And for a time, I took them seriously, and thought it meant something. And it made my worries worst. Then, I realized that I was creating a harmful vicious cycle.

Dreams... They only mean what you make them mean. So, whatever you are interpreting, make sure it is a positive message. Then, there will be growth and satisfaction.

Anyways, good luck!

**firechild** · 12-17-2015 07:16 PM

I can't tell you how to make the dreams go away cause I've never been able to but I've have recurring dreams like this and problems with disordered eating, so if you need someone to talk to, you can message.

**ParanoidLlama** · 12-27-2015 04:54 AM

I think I can help interpret this dream. It isn't really much from what the others thought. Like always, of course you're still unconsciously thinking about your past problems, causing it to reappear in your dreams. In the abuse dream, seeing how you did it to yourself, it could be a message that you're hurting yourself more by reminding yourself of it? Just a thought. I believe there is a sort of separation of yourself in wanting to stay in the hospital, and that is being carried over. To go away naturally you'll have to let go of it, but you could try handling it in a lucid dream.