The reasons will differ depending on the person. I don't claim to know the main reasons for most people, but I can tell you the few reasons that I've had personally, along with what I've witnessed from others. Perhaps that will help to clarify it in your mind. I realise that it must be quite a confusing, nonsensical issue to people who have never felt inclined to do it themselves.
Like Zhaylin, I found myself naturally self-injuring while I was quite young. The first incident that I can remember was when I was about 9 years old and threw an object at my friend for some reason I don't recall. It hit her eye, she started crying, my mom went to help her, and I locked myself in the washroom and started digging my fingernails into my palms, producing blood. In this case, the reason was that I felt I had done something wrong and deserved punishment.
To be honest, I'm not completely sure what the entire reason is myself. It is hard to explain, and I happen to have been giving this a lot of thought recently. The punishment reason is still largely the case. If not the entire reason, it's almost certainly the main one. But even that reason is a little more nuanced than I've made it seem, especially in cases where I haven't directly hurt anyone. I'll try my best to explain it but can't make any promises.
It always happens during times of severe self-loathing. But it is only in the back of my mind that I ever put blame on another person, people or even society. Consciously, though, I tend to put the blame on myself, no matter who is really responsible. But here's what I think happens. In a way, I do it to prove to myself that I have been caused pain by others, that what I'm feeling has impact and is important, that they've hurt me to such an extent they might as well have beaten me. Emotional pain is invisible. A person can hurt me all they want, I naturally suppress it and am left damaged, yet there are no marks to prove that it's there. Cutting myself and viewing the cuts I've made makes me feel whatever emotional pain I think about while I'm performing that particular incision. The pain and the fact that I can see a visible mark there makes me feel like my emotions are validated. It's like I'm transferring the emotional pain onto my physical body, expressing it, so it's there and visible, even though I'm the only one who will see it.
Very occasionally I'll wish that particular people did know, and so, in a sense, I see where the attention seekers are coming from. When I get this feeling, it's because I want a person to know that I'm hurting enough to have done this to myself, so that maybe they'll care about me and somehow try to help me. This isn't the primary reason though, and only happens very rarely with particular people. I do think that, for a lot of people, attention is the main reason. And the way to tell whether this is the reason for someone is to look at where they self-injure. If it's somewhere visible, like on the arms or face, they're probably doing it for attention.
Because I'm trying to get out all of the possible reasons, I'll also mention that there's a feeling of strength and independence I get while self-harming. I often feel as though I'm judged as weak and shy by others, so it feels a bit liberating to cause harm to myself, because I feel as though I must not be weak if I can bear to cause myself to bleed on purpose.
I've only recently experienced the distraction and endorphins reasons that I've heard others self-injure for. This occurs more frequently while punching myself and causing bruises than with cutting, because I can make myself feel pain throughout my entire body, and it's even difficult to move, as though I've literally been beaten. I concentrate on the pain and it distracts me from whatever I was dealing with before. This reason is mixed with the one I described above.
I think it's important to realise that the pain from cutting or punching isn't anywhere near unbearable. With punching, at least, the initial feeling is so intense it literally feels good, in a sense, even though it's pain. This doesn't happen to me with cutting, but maybe it does for other people. That's a bit difficult to explain and I suppose is a separate reason that's only been occurring for me recently. You might use people who like spicy food as an analogy (not an analogy, actually, since it's the same thing). There are no receptors in your tongue to detect spiciness like a regular flavour. When you eat something spicy, what's being stimulated to create that spicy 'taste' are mere pain receptors. Not many people know this. In a way, anyone who claims to enjoy eating spicy food is self-harming.
Anyway, my reasons might be unique or rare but I hope I've provided some insight.
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