Thread: Zooming void sensation

Hrm, never really had anything exactly like that. But I have had the blackness change into almost 3D feel. As if i was looking not at my eyelids, but deep into the darkness. Have you tried transferring your consciousness there? I have not had a chance to try it yet, but that's how I frequently enter WILD, when I see images or movies of a dreamscape formed during WILDing.

I tried transfering, yea. But then i was faced with some kind of existential question, namely: What is my consciousness? What am i transfering to "over there"? Before i answer that question i do not know what i am transferring.

I tried visualizing, creating internal sounds, internal chanting, mantras. Nothing did anything quite useful. I have a hunge that sounds are useful. Perhaps in the form of hemi-sync. Vibrating and using my body seemed blasphemous in a way, so i did not try that as of yet. Except for a bit of mild humming. Which was useless.

I used to get this a lot as a kid. In fact it's probably the clearest sensation-memory I have of my childhood--and it used to freak me the fuck out, because I'd be in bed with my eyes closed, trying to fall asleep, and meanwhile I'm falling deeper and deeper into this void which visually presses itself up like a panorama that's closer than anything could physically be to my eyeballs.

fifteen years later it's happening again, regularly, and I can reach what feels like a maximum of closeness which is where I always cut it off when I was younger, except this last time (about 5 minutes ago) I felt compelled to retract my shoulders under me, lie down, and just let it zoom more and more and more...

the roundness of it, which urges a sort of oneness / infinite smallness sensation keeps folding out into an even closer-ness, and I break past the last memory I had of it and into a new division so that it became almost like fractals, with edges, and the feeling is even scarier, more essential, like I've gone too far to come back. It used to be that if I moved around it would end, but even slightly adjusting my body doesn't stop it this time, and some body-centric sensations come over me, like my hands are the size of cliffs and my body is as big as a continent. The visuals keep subdividing and I'm fixated on this idea that I'm getting back to a dark matter origin, like the building blocks of life, and there is no limit to how small I can get... after about ten minutes of this volley through space (or backwards behind space) it opens up into just a calm ocean of bliss, untethered to anything but also stable in its regularity. I lay here for another five minutes and the visuals have all but stopped. It's just a feeling now. That's when I get up.

I've never gone this far. It feels good to have finally moved past that point of fear, and just let it come in. When I open my eyes everything is the same in the room, and I'm still alive, which actually surprises me a little bit.

I look in the mirror, laugh, and say fucking woa

I don't know what to make of it but it feels absolutely profound.