I told you about this before, but I purposefully am mentioning it to Kaomea and Sinoblak to know the situation I am right now. I was smart, and even though I bitched about my grades, it's because I always wanted more. I was power-hungry, I had the mentality of just doing better, and excelling to the point where I avoided people, making me socially inept. Sure I had moments where I tried to be friends with other people, but moving to other High Schools at abrupt times (not for really major reasons, just finding a good place to live was the reason, but it could've been delayed so I wouldn't be going through petty stress). The point is, I was a good little boy, with the ranks in High School, it's just two math classes and taking a second semester of Spanish 3 Pre-AP at a different district (that was slightly harder) that fucked me in my ass. But even so, I still had a high ranking, those C's I made in the class merely dropped me one or 2 ranks (which is why I was ranked 18th at one school instead of 16th). Now I'm in college, experiencing all the humble bullshit of knowing that there's other people way better than me, and have the potential to get a better career than me, and even if I am one of those same people with that same potential, I still feel empty inside, because I just don't know what to do with that potential. Which is why when I met Eva in a non-lucid, because she represented my dream signs of blonde females, I decided to go with the set of convictions that she could be the one to be an entity my subconscious could form into to hopefully give me paths on where to go in life, so that I won't feel empty inside. And I'm not just talking about feeling empty as empty empty, it's like feeling like I'm not dead, but not alive either. And all I wanted out of that fantasy was an aid to hopefully fill the void inside of me permanently. I didn't bother to admit this because I just let Kaomea and Sinoblak play around with me, and I didn't feel like giving them a confession because they would think I was defending Eva lol But hopefully all you three know why I was stuck in that ambition with Eva for a while. Of course, it matters. Monks are celibates and "Tony" might mean many different things. So what did you want to kill, my friend? Nononono, when I mentioned "Monk," I didn't mean monks as in that type of function. Monk was his nickname in the show, but he wasn't a monk, he is part of the police/being a detective in the show. Hahahaha the three of us are all demanding answers from Link. Poor guy. What did he get himself into.
So Link, here's a question.... How far do you think sensing energies as far as your mind leaving it up to interpretation goes? Like with the snake, I feel a connection to it, but do you think your mind was especially able to work with it because you already knew a connection between me and snakes? And do you think you'd be able to sense me in something or someone else (like Sino's friend in her dream) if the emotionality of the situation fit or your subconscious just decided it was right? Just wondering.... This question has a point, I promise. When I recall these non-lucids where I meet some animal/person/whatever, I start to connect everything together, especially with you being a snake in one of my dreams. I was able to tell Sinoblak right off the bat because the character in the dream resembled the picture on her profile. And I did have unconscious recognition of her almost wild and sporadic nature (sorry Sinoblak, when I say sporadic, I mean it as you being the rebellious type who doesn't care if she breaks things. ) Now back to Alyssa, because these dreams are non-lucids, I'm left at a subjective interpretation, and when I do try to interpret them, I do it loosely because I have to be open for the experiences to represent something else, like how I tried to interpret the Call of Duty War Simulation dream I had a few days ago, I had to just assume, but not take it as absolute law. I merely took the interpretation as a possibility, but allow other potentials to come in. This is why I want to become lucid. When I'm non-lucid, everything can mean something else, and if I assume that a certain non-lucid dream meant I had to think a certain way or find a person because of the experience, I might actually be walking in the wrong path, and having these new set of convictions would be hard to shift to another set of convictions or ideals I have to follow if I never do become lucid (I've had nearly 76 dream entries that were all non-lucid, possibly more during this year alone. And I've only had 3 days or so where I had lucids. So when you ask if I can feel certain energies from other entities and see if I can tell right off the bat if that it's You, Kaomea, or even Sinoblak, it depends. For Kaomea, I can tell if it is her because I know her image already, and the times where I met her in a non-lucid in a few dreams, she was wearing a red dress. But because I met other Dream Characters that had red dresses (especially the one who could've been a Succubus), or red hair, I have to rely on Kaomea's pretty face. For Sinoblak, again, I focused merely on her image, and the dream I had about her breaking the Microscope lenses, it just happened that I found out a characteristic of her that I didn't even know in the first place. She told me later on that I found something that she kept to herself, which is her being a little reckless with handling equipment. You on the other hand, I'm focusing on your personality and you character. Sure I can rely on snakes of being a variant of your whole being, but I have to be open towards other meanings of why snakes might appear in my dream (inevitable danger, things like that). So with you, I have to be careful, I am getting to know you more and more when you and talk more privately, and I'm relying on that. But again, with non-lucids, I can't take things to an absolute law, because if I prevent a potential gap from appearing, like I said before with a shifts in new convictions and ideals, I might end up in the wrong path. Think about how I fantasized about EVA from Metal Gear Solid 3. When I saw her give me a gray letter with the letter "M" on it, from that point, I thought she was trying to communicate with me since my dream signs of Blonde females was very prominent through that epoch of speculating of being with the town hussy. You know how that route ended up, sure I made some encounters with her in non-lucids, and hell, I almost TOUCHED her in a lucid dream, and then woke up, and did a successful DEILD to almost reach her body, to feel her skin, smell, hair, and just go CRAZY with this woman. But the fact that she was running away from me in the lucid, like she was trying to show me a path to something, after Sinoblak talked about how one would fantasized about someone appearing in their dreams for so long, only for them to fail in the long term, I decided to stop my fantasy over a female video game character. But I really wanted to have EVA as my dream guide, or even more than that. I thought beyond all the lovey dovey nonsense of having a fuck buddy or whatever. I really wanted to have this woman as my friend, and in the video game, whenever she met Snake, it was those small moments that made her such an enticing character to me. She was able to play as a spy for the enemy, and still convince Naked Snake that she was supposed to be an assistant in his overall mission to kill The Boss, his mentor. If you watch this video (watch all of 5 minutes and 5 seconds of it to see what I mean by this fantasy of mine) At the start of 0:43 seconds in the video (but still watch all of it lol), she molded the clay into a heart shape. This is one of those moments where she made a serious situation into a memorable one, at least for Snake, despite him just trying to play the hard-ass and grabbing it. It was her character of being able to form a relationship with Snake, knowing that they could only love each other because it could be a part of the mission really made me like this woman, even if she was fictional. Because beyond the scope of the mission, they could never be lovers, but during the mission, it was a forbidden love. And that love that is taboo is usually the strongest and most memorable. It was more than making fun of her and thinking she was the town hussy lol. It was way more than that, but I rather not talk more about the potential mental bonding I could've had with this woman if I relied my subconscious to process its contents towards her, making her an image I would respect. Again, this was because I was living in the moment of trying to find some kind of emotional filling to the void inside of me because even to this day, I still don't know what I want to do in life. I basically have 90% of my tuition paid for college, and if I keep it up, it will stay that way, and I even have money left over from extra funding because tuition was actually pretty cheap, so I have a shit load of cash right now. The problem is, even with this shitload of cash, I use it for basic necessities to live (water, food, paying the rent, etc.) So I feel like a spoiled brat with all this money given to me because I signed in the right time to get a lot of money from FAFSA and other grants like being in the top 10% in High School (but I was in the top 3%, so basically, I was waaaaay ahead of the game when applying for the top public universities here in Texas because I even when I moved through a few High Schools, and even though I had some struggling through it all, I still managed to stay in the top 20 people. Which out of 600-700+ people in each school I went to, that was pretty damn well, and if I stayed in one High School, I could've done even better and be at the top 15 people (I was only 2 ranks away from actually achieving that). When I moved to the last High School, I didn't care about my ranking anymore because I already sent my application to college, and I was ranked 18th at the time of my second semester in one High School before moving to the last one abruptly (but I still don't know if I sent the application when I was ranked 16th, but it didn't matter lol because I was a shoe-in for these colleges). ....(continued in the next post).............
Hahahaha the three of us are all demanding answers from Link. Poor guy. What did he get himself into.
It could've been Tony acting as Monk, or just Tony lol, but I don't think it matters that much. Of course, it matters. Monks are celibates and "Tony" might mean many different things. So what did you want to kill, my friend?
So Link, here's a question.... How far do you think sensing energies as far as your mind leaving it up to interpretation goes? Like with the snake, I feel a connection to it, but do you think your mind was especially able to work with it because you already knew a connection between me and snakes? And do you think you'd be able to sense me in something or someone else (like Sino's friend in her dream) if the emotionality of the situation fit or your subconscious just decided it was right? Just wondering.... This question has a point, I promise.
Lol Sinoblak, I just wanted to kill the person in front of me. I don't have any hatred towards either character, something just made me want to kill the person in front of me, so I can't really tell you who it was really It could've been Tony acting as Monk, or just Tony lol, but I don't think it matters that much. But if you want a person, I guess I wanted to shoot Monk, because I honestly didn't know his real name until I googled it before finishing the Dream Journal entry.
Well, who did you want to kill, the actor or his character?
I like the idea that Monk was helping a monkey. The first dream sounds pretty awesome, too. Hahaha, and yeah, the dream was pretty bad-ass. I didn't even feel scared in it for once, I just spammed ammo at him and hoped for the best. The Bold And The Beautiful? I desperately hate this series. It was made for immortals, lol! I know right! I HATE that series! If I even watch just 5 minutes of it, I get so into it, and I'm like "I DON'T NEED THIS PETTY STRESS!!" @ Link, who did you want to kill actually: Monk or Tony Shalhoub? Oh, They're actually the same person, Tony is just his real name, Monk is the actor name. It just happens that the show is also called Monk as well hahaha. I just mentioned Monk because I was lazy to type Tony Shalhoub all the time (I could've typed Tony, but people wouldn't have known who that was hahaha)
@ Link, who did you want to kill actually: Monk or Tony Shalhoub?
The Bold And The Beautiful? I desperately hate this series. It was made for immortals, lol!
I like the idea that Monk was helping a monkey. The first dream sounds pretty awesome, too.
Thanks! Well, I've already got them all typed out on my phone, just not on the computer. Haha, well that sounds fun too.
That's sweet! If you're in a rush, just categorize them, I'm sure you'll remember them later on. Hope you have have fun during lunch/dinner. I think the only exciting thing I might do today is go to Starbucks and get a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino and go back to my apartment. xD Which is funny because when I recalled the Starbucks dream, I had the sudden urge to just waste 5 bucks on a somewhat tasty drink.
Blech, I had a lot of recall too, I don't know if I can get this all written down before we go out to lunch/dinner. I had a couple lucids though, and I finally see how useful RCs can be, I used one inadvertently. I need to start using them regularly!
Lol hahahaha
Anderj would never be in an adult video like that! D: Spoiler for ...: Maybe if you removed the girl, though. But I can definitely understand why he was at that restaurant. I wish I could see those pictures. These dreams are funny, I like the first one especially.
Alyzarin: Ah, you're getting closer to the meeting place! I still haven't really had a dream location that seemed to match it yet. :T I wonder if I could try getting there by just flying up into the air in a random direction and expecting it to show up.... Bet ya could... I think I found a place similar to that, that lagoon area... in fact, I had two lagoon-ish type dreams recently. The next time one of us gets there, they're responsible for creating a massive vortex and yanking the other two to them. Mhm. So if anyone gets interrupted in a wet dream, NO GRUMBLING! As they are running, one of them said, "Your penis is this big." The other replies, "Shut up!" while still hanging on to the process of saying "up" for a few seconds. Hahaha Again, this is one of many reasons why I find Kaomea a suitable partner for Shared Dreaming along with Alyssa as well. Seems like a good mix. Not sure if the snake dream I had was relaxed to Aly but who knows. I'm not complaining either way... gonna try and focus on her a bit more since I've gotten a number of looks at you, Link. New energy is hard to recognize (for me at least) but I've got a pretty good feel for how you appear in dreams, Link. I'm glad some parts are making sense and similarities are showing. I'm excited for the day where we all come back like, "Oh my god, the dragons!" the other person is like, "And then the cannibals!" and the last person, "And that part where Link had two heads, COMPLETELY HILARIOUS."
Ooooh okay, I'm grateful that you got them to carry me. And same here on the 'why' as well.
Technically, I didn't carry you. I was with my boss and the other two people I was with were doing the carrying. But I cared about you enough to get you out there safely! Mhm, nods nods, that counts the same doesn't it? I wonder why we came to get you though. It's nice that my dreams are finally showing signs of improved continuity... I just wish I understood more of the 'why' behind some of the events, ya know? But finally! You're showing up more
That could work, especially how you talked about flying insanely fast.
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