NyxCC

Jan 23

I find myself in my childhood school yard with high awareness. The scene is quite dark, but I nevertheless take the time to inspect in detail all of the dream characters that surround me. While some of them look quite ugly or even menacing, I live out the realization that all these people are just a reflection of my mind, they are all me. I spend some time happily shouting this and engaging the DCs.

A bit later, I recall I was planning to do the task of the month (basic ii). A wave of urgency hits me as I remember the month is drawing to end, and also the dream may be over quite soon too. As I walk down the street, I follow the plan in case I found myself outdoors, to look for a mirror on a nearby car.

The dream scene is quite dark, but I am still able to locate a car and move closer to examine my reflection. The image looks a bit smaller than it would in real life, so I lean even closer. I don't look quite like myself initially. The effect seems more like a dream quality issue - the image is quite distorted, although, as the mirror is slightly curved, one would actually expect it to be.

After gazing into the reflection for a while, it starts to resemble me more. My hair is a bit wavy though. Overall, the dream reflection is quite happy. I finally get to the task of making my hair longer, although this proves more challenging than expected. I try to will my hair to become longer, but dream control's not quite working. I then decide to take things into my own hands, literally, and gently pull my hair down to stretch it. This seems to do the trick and it increases in length. I enjoy the completion of the task for a brief moment, waking up shortly afterwards.

Post 2/2 for 16th of Sept

LD2: this dream/dreams have been going on forever, with lots of scene changes and it has been very hard to recover it.

I am in our old bathroom and the B6 woman is here again. We get into a fight again, I squeeze some shampoo in her eyes.

A lucid scene here I can't remember, I am examining my hands and think how normal and real they look, even though I know it's a dream.

I look out the window of this place where I believe I live and see a familiar city. I have some thoughts that I wasn't able to fulfill my goals because I always get stuck in these rooms and I need to go outdoors to make it work better.

I fly outside, but my flight is kind of bad and I end up in a river/marsh. I am on the surface, then sinking down as I wonder what to do. I give myself instructions about what to think and how to modify the terrain below me and there are some changes, but on the whole it doesn't work as it's supposed to and I continue sinking. All kinds of sensations (including void-like) as I feel submerged yet my head is above the water.

I think this must have ended with the void.

I just remember that am in a car with bf and a blonde woman with short hair. She reminds me of an actress. I turn my back on the road and sit on top of the the woman, facing her, then look around. I notice the color of her clothes, blue and green. Really nice colors and fit her very well. I can also see that now I am wearing the same blue shirt as her. The next moment, the woman offers to do some sexy things on me and after a short thought I find the strength to refuse. I concentrate on the phone task and get a phone from one of them. I press the dial button and listen. Immediately a random guy answers, eager for a conversation. I know he's not the right person, so I tell him wrong number and attempt to hang up but he tries to convince me it is the right number. He also says some funny stuff I can't recall.

I take a moment to think that this dream has been going on for a while and I am already forgetting some parts.

At some point, there is some sort of funny nonsensical text on the phone that now turns to some other object, that I try to memorize and temporary do, but as I try to read it again all the letters change.

I can't remember what happened, but now I am in this place, like a large appartment, with lots of DCs all around, mostly representing people I know. I am still trying to call Xanous, have another phone in my hand and I struggle with the phone book. You could say that my lucidity level drops as all kinds of false memories emerge and I am trying not to show I care in front of the people that know me.

For some reason I believe that I have Xanous' real number, that he has given me his real number. I also see some photos of the blue bedsheets of his kid, some toys and other stuff I can't remember. This is on some sort of TV screen now and I am using a remote control (or is it the phone?) to try to navigate the menu and just get to the number and hide from my friends that I have been given all this info.

I finally get the right number, press the dial key and listen. For a while nobody picks up and then the voice mail turns on and I can hear Xanous' voice. He says something briefly and then there's lots of music and sounds as I nervously wait for what seems like forever to be able to leave a message.

I start a long speech from which I remember the first and last sentences.

"Hey Xanous, I made it, I am calling you from a dream. ....

Do you know how hard it has been to keep this super long dream going, pick up."

My voice changes as I speak. I finally exhaust myself with the speech and end the conversation. I look outside and think that now that I am done calling Xanous, I can move to the next task, Angel Falls. It feels like my determination to make that call has been the key factor holding this dream together for a such an great amount of time and now it slowly begins to fade and I wake up.

Date: 11 Aug

Pre bed: 100mg B6

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs?

Natural wakes: many, got up on 5 to pee, drink water, take notes. Also lots of micro-awakenings where it took me some time to fall asleep. Noises from neighbors and early morning arrangements of others woke me up too.

Dream quality and recall: Very vivid dreams, some stability issues. Recall was challenging, forgot two lds, but then I recalled them, pffuuu. One suspicious also.

Early dream (+2 hrs after bed): I had the impression there might have been something lucid here, but sleep was so deep, I have no idea, it was quite vivid though.

Dream: some kind of tower, bf, something forbidden? (why didn't I write a whole sentence?)

Dream: this was a crazy dream, not very pleasant but interesting. The part I remember involved me getting to a window, where some kind of deadly poisonous gas is working. I am unprepared (compared to others) to deal with this gas and do some maneuvers to avoid it, while it's coming straight at me. I think I am trying to open the window as well. I notice that small wounds begin to appear on my hands from the gas. For once, they almost look ok, not too bad, but I am naturally worried about them. At the same time, I am fascinated that I feel no pain despite my exposure to the gas. (That was pretty close!)

DILD1: I go out in some kind of yard and want to sit on the stone wall. There are two teenagers there that plan to make out, so I move not to interrupt them and go sit on another fence. Soon they go back to the entrance and I hear an electricity shock. I think that a bad guy has done something to them and is now coming in the yard, so I look for a place to hide. I evaluate a few hideouts but decide I will be discovered so better leave now. The main idea is to get as far away as possible, while still able to observe the guy.

As I make my way through yard after yard, I get this familiar feeling. I have been running like this in a lot of my dreams. Semi-lucid, I continue on my way, climbing fences, going far enough. Then I finally reach a block, which I start to climb as if it is a tree. No matter where I step or reach there is always something to hold on to, like a balcony, the window etc. I finally reach the top of the building, which is like 5-6 floors and sit there to contemplate. It is not very easy to keep balance as I am holding on to some unstable part of the building. At this point, I also reach a much better clarity of mind. I look around and see all kinds of junk around me. I either become worried about stability and the dream becomes unstable or the other way around. I wait and things improve somewhat and I get the weird idea that I will turn this building top into the top of Angel Falls then jump, but I feel the need to have something stable below me to start with. It's a bit like I am sitting on a wobbly chair on top of pile of crap right now.

I look to my left and see that a beautiful river is flowing through the nearby part of neighborhood. There is also a small waterfall in the middle of it, too small, but inspiring enough. I want to go down there, I have no idea how and where I but get and reach to this branch and once again use the tree branch swinging method of moving. I swing forward and land exactly where I wanted to - down where the river is. I start thinking about turning this into Angel Falls. The river starts to change and at some point I find myself right in the middle of it, observing how the now dark water flows down a slope. There are dark rocks as well, and the current is way too fast, so I feel kind of uncomfortable being in the water. Somehow though I am dry and not moving with the current? This is not quite like what it is supposed to be and I concentrate on the landscape to cut off the water and make it flow into an abyss just ahead of me. Despite my efforts the river changes just a bit. I get it, it is just not working right now and I also become tired so give up. The thought quickly flashes that I might try to turn the end of the river flow into a beach, but now lack the mood for that. I begin reviewing other tasks I have memorized but the the dream ends just as I go through them.

I am now in my bed and a bit pissed off that the dream didn't just continue into another scene, and I have so much awareness of my body. I nevertheless remain still, nervously waiting until something like a proper DEILD happens.

DILD2: The beginning of this is very vague. I think I just appeared somewhere and held on to this DC for stabilization. The next thing I know, the dream is much more stable and I am walking down the street with the male DC to my left, holding his hand in a friendly way (I think this is the stabilization residual). I am quite happy and for some reason conclude this is Xanous. I can't remember much of this part of the dream, just that we walk down the street of a European looking town, talking about something. OB is also involved either in my thoughts or mentioned in the conversation.

We are facing a closed metal gate plus fence and the male DC turns to the left to go the part where there is no fence at all. I then tell him, why don't we just phase through the fence, this is a dream after all. So, we go back and walk straight through the fence. I easily pass as if there is nothing there at all, but the DC has a bit of difficulty going through, he emerges but it looks like it has caused him some discomfort. I feel guilty for making him do this and begin apologizing. He doesn't look much like Xanous at this point - brown hair and wider face, but it's him in my mind. He seems quite independent for a DC, but that may be just me. We then continue our walk through the city.

At some point, I feel the dream is beginning to destabilize, but I don't want to share it with Xanous as not to mess his stability or something like that. I just walk further forward, rubbing my hands and hop walking for a while. The dream stabilizes and I am really happy about it. He is to my left again, this time with copper hair and tall. I start talking and notice how clear my voice sounds. But even as I talk, I almost immediately forget everything I say. The only thing I remember is "do you think this will work out" and point at me and him? Then I feel embarrassed this might be understood the wrong way and add "I mean this shared dreaming thing". I finally remember that I was supposed to do a gesture and share the passcode but before I could do anything the dream ends.

Micro-ld: I am back in a town of my past, in the place I used to live. Bf is also there. The thought that I am not supposed to be there anymore crosses my mind, but I come up with the explanation that I am now just visiting the town? I look around in the room and conclude that everything looks like it is real life and not like in dreams where there are all kinds of objects that don't really belong to this room, even though it really doesn't. I see that the windows are very dirty and this makes me think that the neighbors have been throwing drinks from McDonalds at the windows. Soon I see the neighbors throwing drinks. I want to threaten them with the police, but fear revenge, so decide just to call the cops to get them. I also complain to bf about it.

It looks like we are leaving the place next day (Sunday) and I need to take some stuff. I can't remember much detail here, but I look around the place, and there are neatly arranged flowers in the yards nearby, which look similar to dreams about the place I had and not real life.

Then I am in the city center, maybe doing last min shopping, I have no idea. On one of the familiar streets, I look inside a strangely shaped car and see a guy with semi-finished and a purple? demonic face. He gives me an evil look and I become lucid and begin to sway the car back and forth, my intention is to lift it and move it, which I do. I make it turn over and leave it like that for a moment, thinking about some more mischief. In the meantime it changes color and shape. I have the strong desire to try to lift the car as high as possible and then send it flying in the air like a balloon. I concentrate on it and lift it quite high but there is some resistance, I send thoughts that all of the people on the street are also doing this task which makes it easier. I am holding the car in the air for quite a while, until it becomes harder, but I still keep my gaze on it. It has become a round large piece of smashed black metal that is dissolving /dematerializing in the air. Witnessing the dissolution of the object is very interesting, it happens gradually and the object loses its physical properties, becoming more of an energy and I also see aura-like glow around the edges - green and red. The dream ends.

I wake up, think briefly about the ld and then fall asleep which makes me forget it. Noises, distractions and final sleep attempts.

Micro-ld: I can't remember the beginning of the dream/let. There is a very interesting sun clock in the sand of some sort of a pot in the park. I am playing with the sand, thinking about lucidity and stabilization? Then I continue walking down the lane when a DC guy looks me with some sort of irritation and I become lucid. I realize that I am finally in the dream as if just entered a dreamlet and feel very floating/unstable. For some reason, I keep repeating my DSs as a mantra and also grab the guy's T-shirt and move along with him, but he wants to move on his own so he is staring at me annoyed. I let him go and see my mom ahead of me, carrying flashlight which is on and the light looks more like the ray of sun shining on all the dust in the park. Very cool effect. The dream falls apart and I wake up.

Comments: I am happy on this occasion there wasn't too much B6 related agression with the exception of a few bad looks from DCs which helped me achieve lucidity.

During day: 5xRCs including DS review

Dream recall technique: none used, remembered 2 dreams

Total sleep time: 7+hrs

After being too lazy or tired in the last few days, I decided it's time to try to WILD again. Set the alarm clock to wake me 5hrs after going to bed, woke up, stayed awake for a few mins (I avoid waking myself too much because I really cannot fall asleep afterwards), then went back to bed, repeating a mantra. I fell asleep.

Dream1: I am in someplace which is my dream home and I am going to bed trying to WILD, blankets all around me, mobile phones, watches showing the time. Then I wake up in the dream, I am in the car with my dad who is driving me somewhere. How strange I think, I really can't remember what I did or where I have been before that. I look at a watch and it's five hours later than when I went to bed in the dream. “It’s like I have lost five hours of my life”, I am thinking to myself.

My parents are cooking dinner in an unknown building in our old neighbourhood. I want to WILD and initially lay my blankets on the roof of a building, trying to relax there. Somehow I am teleported where my parents are and they make a lot of noise so I can't fall asleep. We watch a large part of something, the size of window, fly off and crash on our neighbors’ roof. It is my fault [of course!] because I have forgotten to close the windows so the wind blew that part away. I remember in the dream that I have closed the windows and start telling this to my dad. We go to my parents’ bedroom where the neighbors are also visible and have a look at the windows.

The wind is so strong that I am afraid that everything will start flying off in different directions. I close the windows, but as soon as I do they open again. The frame looks pretty broken. My dad says he will put something on the windows so the windows can't be used again. This saddens me because I won't be able to look at the sunset anymore, so I tell him. I look in the direction of the sunset and a see a larger than usual sun, more yellowish less bright with some details visible. I remember not to stare at it too long because it's bad for the eyes.

A few blocks away I see a huge tornado just starting to form. Oh, no! It's far but it is coming, so I tell my parents we should go somewhere else. Then I start wasting time, trying to grab my blanket, looking around for other stuff. The tornado is getting closer really fast. It has a scary destructive force, I see it passing over and through a row of houses, there are sound and sight of implosions and the houses are completely destroyed. There is very little chance to make it if we stay in the building. Better try to run outside. So I do.

I find myself in another building, facing a boy. I consider this to be a bit strange but go on my way as I see the scary gray mist swirling around. There is an expensive section in this building something like a cafe for special people. Next to it is the exit. I am running from the windows where the tornado is towards the cafe /exit. I rush through the cafe shouting “Get out, now!” to the woman who works there. There are three very strange looking kids that have been left there by their ultra rich parents. I try to take them with me but they don't react, just stare there with blank faces, so I leave them at the table. One of the employees of the cafe tells me that all is safe outside, so I urge her to look around the corner to confirm. She doesn't want to do that. I do it myself. No swirling or tornado coming yet, so I walk a bit, but as I cross the street I see it is getting nearby, a fast moving mist rather than a tornado, so I launch myself forward, jump some fences and continue running...[end]

I woke up after this, since I had no WILD success again I just decided to sleep some more. I forgot any other dreams. It was time to wake up but I pressed the alarm for one more snooze. 9 mins to go. (By the way I thought I could change the snooze settings but can't figure how to do so). I am not attempting to LD, I really don't care at this point.

Dream2 Snooze DILD: I am in a car parked near my parents' current place, my alarm clocks are all around me again. My teacher is trying to reach me on the phone in the dream. I know that I will soon wake up so I don't bother picking up. I am staring at the sky. Is it a spaceship? A strange object is flying around, it looks like a flying truck, how can that be? My awareness is trying to awake. I follow the flight of this truck until it lands in the yard nearby. At that point I know that I am dreaming! An older DC man is in the truck, he reminds me of some unknown famous actor, also looks angry and menacing. He comes to me looking somewhat aggressive. I am really tired of all the chasing around, so I just intend him to be a nice guy, and to my amazement he decides to take it easy. The car where I am begins sliding down the road, but the yard end/road entrance is too narrow for it to pass. I somehow try to size the car down, it becomes very long and thin and I am amazed at this transformation. I stop the car and go to my room in my parents place.

No idea why I decided to go there. Now, in front of me is a gray cloud forming, starting to look scary. I remember the tornado fear, so this is unpleasant. I am still lucid although getting distracted by the cloud, when I remember not to give in. I try to make the cloud go away. In this case, I am stronger so it cannot do anything and just vanishes.

I somehow start unintentionally creating clouds. Those look like real clouds from far away, different hues and shades on the cloud, partly lit by the sun, etc. I also hear the sound of distant thunder coming from the mini vivid cloud in front of me, I really like that. I am having a moment of great enjoyment creating these clouds making them appear from my hands as if they were a ball of cloud, there is also some dark blue light sparkling. I do this quite a few times until I get exhausted and cannot do it anymore. I am still lucid, but am beginning to lose concentration, so I decide to get out of there and go to the street.

I am on the street. A rather unpleasant looking DC decides he will accompany me to wherever I am going. The only task from my list that I remember to do is to summon a certain DC and ask him a pre-determined question. I start calling out for the DC to appear, nothing. I try again, no result. I ask the ugly DC next to me where is the DC I am trying to summon. Of course, he doesn't know. I don't like that, but I nevertheless decide to ask him the question I had in mind. He answers something nonsensical. I try to have a conversation with him, but I find it hard to hear or understand what he says. We probably exchanged no more than a few sentence and I notice in the dream that I start forgetting what he said. [Very strange, I guess there is place for only one two questions at a time]

I wonder how I am still here on the street for what feels like so long and the dream is still here, I am happy about that. I notice two tall guys with black scarves around their heads walking towards us. I notice how out of order this looks and smile to myself, how easy it is to spot inconsistencies while I am lucid now. I try to stop them maybe talk to them, but they insist on continuing on their way, strong momentum so making them stop is really hard. Still no alarm clock interfering, I expect it to ring any moment. I get distracted thinking and then find myself in darkness, feeling my body. My eyes are still closed and I try to DEILD but no success.

I look at my alarm clock, two minutes to the alarm? I jump out of bed trying to hold on to the dream memory, which today feels very evasive as the dreams begin to erase themselves.

Final remarks: Dream control today was really good, tried out the tips to make the chaser a nice guy, which worked in this LD. I also think that reading posts and this tutorial on dream control http://www.dreamviews.com/wiki/Dream-Control-Tutorial helped!