Xanous' Dream Journal

#527 DILD

I am in some church service. I feel so tired and dosing off. I feel I am holding someone’s hand. I think it’s my wife. I open my eyes and see my FIL reaching across my wife and holding my hand. He’s smirking. I remember he’s dead but I think I must be half dreaming. The next thing I know I wake up and the service is over. I still feel out of it and can hardly open my eyes to see where I am going. I see my dead grandmother following me. I know she is dead but again I think I am half dreaming or hallucinating. After a moment, I stop and hug her knowing people must see me hugging someone invisible like she’s a ghost. In the parking lot some people finally notice I am having a hard time and start asking me what’s wrong. I say I don’t know I think maybe I need to see a doctor. I wake up.

Later, I dream that I am running an electrical test on a wire harness from but I am hooking up the washer and dryer at my house somehow. I walk away because I need some alligator clips. I am at work now and I run into Ryan. I get pissed because he’s installed some extra software on the computer and I have no idea what I am looking at. I think about going to IT but I just decide to leave. I wake up.

Some fragment about how I am able to fly and hover easily. It feels natural. Just a thing I can do.

I wake up determined to get lucid as I watch HI. After some time, I notice I am on a skateboard and have stopped to look at a loose bolt on the trucks. I realize I am in a dream and I float away. I fly high in the sky and see some blue sky and clouds but the dream turns mostly dark. I don’t get caught up on the lack of visuals. Instead, I enjoy the physical sensation of flying. At one point it feels like I am swimming super-fast in water. I laugh and deeply enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Suddenly I feel the chemical change in my head. I know I am waking up. I try to hold on. I get a visual of my shoes where I left them in the hallway. I wake up.

#502 - DILD? - between 4AM and 8AM

I woke up with a headache around 4 and take two Excedrin so I have have inadvertently use a lucid dreaming supplement due to the small amount of caffeine. Either way, I almost forgot this dream and the memory of it isn't as clear or as vivid and I would like from and LD. Still, I'm glad for it.

Something triggers lucidity My old friend caffeine?. I do a quick nose plug and remember my goal to climb buildings and clffsides like the two video games I have been playing occasionally these last few weeks. (Shadow of Mordor and Uncharted 4) I look around and see some ruins similar to SOM and I start climbing. I get to one ledge and want to try to leap to another. As I leap I feel like I am pressing L1 on the PS4 controller but I don't let it bother me. I pull myself up to the top and think I'd like it to be more medieval looking but it all turns really cartoony and looks more like a texture pack from Minecraft. I become really wide-eyed and try to take in all the visual details. I don't fuss with getting the looks down too much and continue to climb, loving the ease of it all. I reach the top and I am really high up now. I look over the edge (I don't recall what I saw there) and take a leap. I end up flapping around clumsily in the void for a moment and get fooled by FA. I remember thinking there was a gap in my lucidity so it felt like two lucid dreams, but I'm not sure that is true.

#495 - DILD - 6:16AM

I'm keeping this brief. Again forgive typos.

There is a longer part of the dream that might be a bit too personal to share but at some point I step outside and suddenly become lucid for no apparent reason.

I am in a yard and it's a nice day. I try to think of goals and got it a bit wrong. I ask the dream what energy is and suddenly a strong wind starts up. I face the wind and look down a street that ends in a huge tree. I can't keep my eyes open very well because the wind is so strong so I turn around and lean back into is. I float up and fly like I am a kite. I see a huge tornado in a dersert sucking up sand in the distance. It a really cool sight, but I look at it with mild interest. Then I turn around and face the wind. Still messes with my eyes but I endure it and fly around a bit.

I get tired of that and find a place on the ground with a building to block the wind. Then I remember my actual goal. A long time ago I mostly failed at trying to create fire with my hands. I was caught up in the eye candy of it all and it didn't work well. This time I decided to make it more about invisible energy and the after effect. I see a trash can full of various items and spent a lot of time generating heat from my hands and melting things like empty egg cartons and soap bottles. Then I turn and put my hands on the wall of the build and make to two melted hand prints on the wall. Some it the melting looked really cool and some of the melting didn't last very long. Still it was cool experiment. Something I can work on later. I soon wake up after this.

#492 - DILD - 8:41AM

I have a long dream segment of hovering above a crowd in some sort of elongated flying machine. There were seats dangling from under a helicopter / blimp sort of thing and we were all strapped in like the Batman ride. The pilot was in the front and maneuvered us over the crowd as they all watched in amazement. I notice I am in the back and there are about 6 women riding in a line in front of me. I wonder why I am the only man here. A few times we get too low and scrap the top of some black SUV.

Suddenly I am floating in someone's living room and totally lucid. I am not sure how this happened but here I am. I feel like I was lucid for the flying machine but wonder why I didn't take control. I understand that woman pilot had to go in the house to take care of something. I feel the need to wait on her and decide to play around with floating and flying through the house for a long while. The family seems to be appearing near me watching in different parts of the house. A little boy finally asks me how I am flying. I tell him that this is a dream and anything is possible in the dream state. He just stares at me like he really doesn't understand what I mean. I float into the other room. Now the woman pilot is my wife and I tell her to hurry up. I don't want to say anything about waking up, but I tell her I really want to conclude this dream. I hate not being able to finish a lucid dream. She tells me that she is trying but our son still needs to brush his teeth. I tell her this is a dream and just make it be done. Now they both come out and follow me one the way out of the house. I realize I am walking now. I don't like the feel of it and tell the boy, who is still staring at me, that I am walking and I'll have to fix that. I have some trouble getting in the air but when I do I kick off the wall and do a backflip. The action destabilizes the dream state and I wake up.

#470 - DEILD - 12:07AM

I wake up slightly, but have enough mindfulness to try to DEILD. It's pretty dark at first and I spend a lot of time making walking motions with my goal as my mantra (Jump on the trampoline). When the walking feels vivid enough, I decide to clap my hands and slap my face as hard as I can. There is a dull sound and tingling sensation upon impact. I now move on to my goal and imagine myself jumping on the trampoline in my back yard. The view of my backyard quickly fills in, but it's still really dark. I don't like this bother and I begin to jump extra high. The sensation of falling back down gets my stomach at first and I have to try really hard not to let it bother me. I notice how high I get as I watch the roofs of houses falls below me. After a few moments I get bored with this and latch on to an impossibly tall tree and climb up. I can clearly see limbs and bright greens leave as I make my way higher and higher. I see another tree close by and I decide to jump over to that one then swing down by hanging on the end of a long thin branch.
My brother is standing on the ground looking at me. "How did you do that?", he asks.
What does he mean doesn't he know this is a dream? I answer, "I'm just like a squirrel. It works the same way."

I am now standing in the main room of my house and I see my son smiling at me. I leap up and kick of a near wall to glide over him. I imagine flying is a lot like swimming as I swim all around the room like its a pool. My son chases me smiling and laughing and I get a chuckle out of it. For some reason I want my brother to see this and I decide to look for him in the kitchen, but he is no where to be found. Then, I become afraid that I will lose the recall of this dream so I decide to wake up.


I quickly record my dream and suddenly feel myself sinking back into that half dream zone.

I find myself wondering around some version of my house with my son. A set of non-existent stairs appear and we climb up them together. I am really curious what I will find, but I suddenly wake up again. I totally forgot that I had put my knees up while recording in my DJ and my left leg had flopped over, waking me up.

I only have recall of one other non lucid dream for the night. It was like a movie and these boys had entered into a cartoon world. They tried to find a solution to the problem.

#468 - DILD - 1:52AM

****DRY SPELL OVER!*****

Thanks to some kind words from my dream buddy I was able to get some lucidity last night. It's nothing to get super excited about, but it's good to be back in action.

Originally Posted by bemistaken

Hey buddy! As you once told me...you are not broke! You are the same gifted Xanous that you have always been.

Thanks B!

I am hovering over a really strange looking tepee with some people I think of as close friends. The tepee seems to me made from various bits of material and I have contributed a large section at top. Someone has attached a zipper at top and there is some excitement about how well it fits.

I am on the ground. I look around and become introspective. My younger daughter are standing around a large camp fire near the base of the giant tepee. She is talking to me but I don't understand her words. Suddenly, I just know that I am lucid. I tell her this might be a dream. I say "might" because a part of me is hoping she is really in the dream with me and I want to guide her into lucidity. I wonder if two minds could really be in one dream. I give her some time to think this over. She seems confused at first and looks around deep in thought. I float up off the ground a bit and say, "Look, Dalynn. I am flying."
She seems to understand for just a moment, but then it slips away and she says, "Wow how are you doing that?" Before I can reply she start jumping around making silly sounds.
I don't say anything. I just try to show off how I can fly, but I can only move around my making swimming motions. I hate it at first and I become very frustrated how goofy I must look. The dream breaks apart and I wake up.

I'll be brief in parts with this next dream because It was super long and I missed lucidity anyway.

I am a criminal in the depression era with some woman. It was almost a Bonny and Clyde senario, but we were con artist not back robbers. There we some long thing about a pond shop scheme. During a bank run we tricked people to turn in jewels and hand guns and we got a lot of money from it.
At one point we are driving down a street that looks more modern. I ask the woman what year it is. She dismisses me but I really think it looks like the late 80's. I tell her the cars just look more sporty, but she says nothing. I see an airplane in the sky. It is unmarked and very strangle looking with red glowing lines. It was very sci-fi. I don't think it's possible, but out of habit I say, "This might be a dream." I do a nose plug, but somehow I think it failed. I look around and the dream is very clear. I feel my eye are wide open. I know that dreams tend to be more blurry than this. With that thought the dream blurs a great deal and fades out to a new scene.
I am at some counter in a store with the woman. Another woman walks in with a folding fan and lays it on a counter. There is a dark skinned boy printed on it. I say something about the Muslim boy and the boy starts talking to me. He goes on about having sex with that "crotchety old woman".
I assume he's talking about the woman I am with. I say, "Well my cock gets hard and she's there to help it. What else would I do?"
The boy says, "Oh common you can do better than that."
Then I hear a narrator say, "And those acid trips flashback happened for the next 14 years."
There is laughter and I laugh along. I now feel as though I have been watching something on TV. I say, "That's funny, but I wish I could remember the set up for that joke."
The scene fade away with the audience laughter.

I am now in some basement looking at an attractive young woman tied up to some pipes along the wall. As the view passes close I notice she is severely retarded. She starts singing about being a retarded give tied up in the basement. I wake up.

#463 - DILD? 8:15AM -

Become lucid in a new dream scene and fly around. I see anderj101 and high five him. I then explore a place that I used to work and have fun breaking glass.

I wake after 4am and intend to get lucid as I return to sleep. There is a very vivid dream about a tarantula loose in my house. Its was too fast and bites me but I go back to get it from under a bed. I somehow sneak under a sheet and squash it when I see it's silhouette.

Later, I find myself on a hillside over looking a park and a lake. I step off into the air and glide across the area. I suddenly remember that I am dreaming and tell myself this is just what I do now [flying]. There is a young couple picnicking on a blanket below. I wave at them and expect them to be impressed that I am flying. They ignore me. Of course, why would they care? I turn, slowly gliding like I'm in creative mode in Minecraft, and see anderj101 gliding in a opposite direction. His body is in a crucifix position with a goofy grin on his face. I high five one of his out stretched hands as I pass by. I say, "Hey man! What's up?"
He doesn't reply, just continues to glide past like a Jesus figure. For some reason I think that I have been seeing him everywhere in my dreams. I laugh a little at his silliness and consider going after him to get him to talk to me. Something tells me this will crash the dream if I do. I very vaguely recall having been lucid just prior to this dream and my talking to DCs is what crashed it. I continue on as the dream turns dark anyway.

I make walking motions in the air and wonder why I am back to this again. It seem to think that I had just DEILDed, but I am not sure if this is true. I flap my arms and make more walking motions until I find myself hovering over a parking lot. It is now way harder to fly and I resort to hulk jumping. I pounce on several cars and notice a dream glitch where my position suddenly changes and I land on the pavement rather than the red truck I was about to smash. I hear Darlene from work yell at me and tell me to "throw away this magazine". I turn ato see her and several other co-workers at some picnic tables. I walk to her curious what she was talking about. Then, I notice the building. I say, "Hey! This is the old 13th street facility." I'm super curious to go in there after all this time and I forget about Darlene and her magazine.

As I enter the building, I worry about dream length. I tell myself that I really need hard set goals before bed or I'll just wander like this. I decide that if I try to make this super fun and interesting then I have nothing to worry about. The interior is totally remodelled and I am bummed that my dream is making stuff up. Then, I recall that Mercy Hospital owns this building now so maybe they would have remodelled in waking life. I become impressed with my subC for adding in the possibility.

I look around and see a lunch room with cubbie/cube storage and lunch boxes lined on top. It seems to be decorated with apples and rulers like an elementary school, but I totally ignore this. There is a large wall of small square panel glass that leads to a reception window to my left. I follow it, but no one is around. I really want to get to the other side so I start punching the squares of glass. I enjoy the feeling and sound of glass breaking and get really caught up in it. I soon wake up to the sound of my wife getting ready for work in the bathroom.

#428 - DEILD - 6:28AM

I intended to have G + Menthol during WBTB but I just could not get out of bed. Luckily, I pulled off a late morning DEILD. I was slightly disappointed that I got my dream goals all wrong, but I was super stoked to get lucid regardless.

I am watching YouTube through my TV and I see that CanisLucidus has his own lucid dreaming channel now. There's a lot of how-to talk and then does some funny skits and songs like some variety show. At first I think Wurlman and I need to step up out podcast game, but I quickly decide that we have our own thing going and shouldn't try to one-up CL. I find his show very entertaining and I am amused that we now have a really cool lucid dreaming TV show. I notice my father next to me on the couch and I expect him to say something about how he dislikes what I am watching, but he remains very quiet. I wake up.

At first I am pissed that galantamine didn't do much for me but then I realize I passed right back out when my alarm went off. I move a bit and get comfortable and settle right into meditation. Instead of focusing on breath I use body awareness in my hand and arms as my anchor. I hit heavy HI really quickly and my daughter says something about my hands feeling numb. at the same time, I realize they are very tingly like I had my circulation cut off. I say to her, "As soon as my hands start feeling different [normal] you let me know. OK?" I wonder, Will that really work? If I lose lucidity will my subconscious tell me when I am fully in the dream? Right after this thought, I notice I have vibrations. I decide now is the time to shift my awareness to something external — the center of the room. I start to feel some tendency to separate, so I try sitting up. It takes a lot of effort to move only a few inches and I hear a voice, "You've got to work those astral muscles. It's been awhile so it's going to feel tough at first, but the more you exercise the better..." I accept what my inner-self is telling me and make I several efforts to get up; each getting easier. Once I sit up completely, I visualize the motion of running and a scene quickly comes to view.

I am in a kitchen in a different house. I spot a back door and run to it. As I step into the back yard, I notice the numbness in my hands still, so I shift my awareness from body once more to the dream environment and quickly forget the hand sensation. I try to think of my goals, but my mind feel slightly jumbled. Flying. I was supposed to fly. I look up at the day time sky and begin to make swimming motions allowing me to slowly rise up. There is something about the swimming motion that brings my focus back to my body and the dream darkens, threatening to crash. I stay calm and simply shift my focus back to something more visually external. I see that I am tangled in a tree and I use it to pull my weightless body up higher then, jump onto the roof of the house. Now I think maybe my goal was to make music with random objects in the dream. I look around and, on the house, I see some sort of wooden structure with many different types of roof vents lined up. I decide these will make great drums and I begin to strike them with my hands. At first It is just a dull flat sound with no real rhythm. I try harder to have some sort of pattern, but my visuals won't match the sound. I decide it's better to just look away and I quickly get some sort of drum beat with realistic sounds. A song quickly forms and I sing the first words that some to my mind in a jazz tone, "Well, my little baby... she's a real sexy lady now.... Yeeaahhh." I am slightly startled how different my voice sounds, but I don't let it distract me. Organ music begins play a little tune now as I see movement in the corner of my eye. A black cat is walking along the road out front and I feel a strong desire to go after it, but I can't decide if I want to stop the music now or play a little more. I am torn between the two and sit there undecided as I suddenly wake up.

#379 - DILD - 5:37AM (2 of 2)

I am looking in the back seat of the car for something and can't find it. I look up and see the car is rolling forward. I remember that I was in bed just a moment ago and know it's a dream. I recall my conversation with Wurlman during the podcast about having fun with cars so I go for it. I have other goals but I decide to go ahead and hop in the driver seat. The car has rolled off the street it was parked on and heading toward a wooden fence. I gun it and ram through. The feeling of invincibly surges through me. I am surprised by a second chain-link fence and crash through that one as well. It has a nice sound effect.

I come onto a four-lane highway going through a residential area. I follow the road going faster and faster. The car becomes slightly hard to handle during turns and I clip the side of a house. I don't care; this is all really fun. After a bit, I notice my view pulls back into a 3rd person perspective. I see a downtown area like on GTA5 and the dream looks very much like a video game. I notice I am not in my car anymore but some light blue SUV. I make the car go as faster (as I can imagine in this scenario) as I hit a sharp hill. It was only natural to take to the air at this point. I make the car fly up around the sky scrapers and I do a sharp turn to look around. I enjoy the view of the city, but then, I lose control and the car takes a fast dive into a busy street. There is some fiery explosions but it is mostly obscured by a large, thick cloud of opaque, black smoke.

Suddenly, my younger daughter opens the bedroom door whining about something. I assume she's had a bad dream. My wife asks her whats wrong and my daughter replies, "The ants are living with the five."
I lift my head up and say, "What?" I assume she's either had a bizarre dream and is still out of it or this is typical DC nonsense.
I become semi-lucid but I feel very confused about where I am and who's bed I am in. For some reason I think I am a child again sleeping next to my mom as my dad works the night-shift. Slowly, I make sense of everything and try to make a DJ entry. However, as I fumble around the feeling of heavy SP, I remember this isn't going to work in a dream. I notice now that my arms and head are vibrating, though I feel like I am awake and moving around. I am not really sure if this is even possible, so I relax and lay still, preparing for an OBE type exit. I spend a few seconds here and I begin to go deeper, but it's at this point that my wife sighs loudly, rolls over, and shakes me awake.

#358 - WILD - 4:44AM

I watch HI and soon notice that I have a PS3 controller in my hand. I am walking into a large garage. I feel like maybe the HI is now a full dream and I hesitantly take control. I drop the controller not really knowing why I had it. On the other side of the garage I exit and find myself in a wooded area a long a peaceful dirt road. The area looks a lot like Cyrodiil.

I remember that want to produce a Patronus. I wave my imaginary want and shout, "Expecto Patronum". I think I start to see some blue energy but the dream become really unstable and dark. I rub my hands and focus.

I find myself in an uncontrollable flight over the forest. I try to direct myself but I am unable to. The scenery is so amazing that I surrender to the direction of the dream and just enjoy the experience. I zoom over a blanket of green trees as I dip down into valley's up alongside rolling hills. The area is a lot like what you would see in the Ozark Mountain Range. My flight soon becomes more sporadic and I experience some intense ups and downs at great speed. I feel my stomach rise into my chest as I fall into a shallow creek. I enjoy the feeling so I leap up into the air at let myself fall.

I wake slightly and lose lucidity. The was something about my boss and I needed to answer his text message. I realized that I left the Playstation 3 on and I need to go find the controller again so that I can respond to the text. I realize this makes no sense and I wake immediately.

#210 - 7:05AM - DEILD

My wife wake me up around 6:30am when she leaving for work. I decide it's time to really take advantage of sleeping in and set my intentions. I try to WILD but I am still too tired. Later I awaken from a NLD that I can't remember and just try to DEILD.

The first thing I notice is the sound of the fan cutting out completely and then the shift from my physical body to my dream body. I feel completely ethereal and light. After that, I get the vibrations. I try my usual way of "physically" exiting bed but lately I just can't get that to work so I try visualization. I try running and it feels good but nothing will form. I try seeing the back of my eyelids but I notice the morning light too much. Then I try seeing my hands and it helps but not quite enough. Then, I realize that I am putting too much attention to the blindness. I let go of it and I see the top of a door way. I do a few chin ups on it concentrating only on the task at hand.

The dream clears up and I walk out the front door. I immediately feel the cold of the concrete on my bare feet. The air feels very cold and my upper-body becomes cold. I realize I am only wearing pants. I tell myself that it is summer and should be warm. The cold vanishes and I continue on. What will the dream bring me this time? I scan the neighborhood for anything unusual. Nothing really get my attention so I start jogging but at that moment I see out next-door neighbor's car and decide to drive. As I approach it, it morphs from sedan to van. I hop in and don't even bother trying to start it. I just grab the old steering wheel gear shift and slam it in reverse and hit the gas. When I get out of the driveway and slam it to drive, the car stalls for a second and dies. I refuse to believe it and I push the gas all the way down. After a moment I am speeding off through the neighbor hood.

I begin to think of a destination and wonder if I could drive to Hell. Along the way I see metal buildings with one marked "Hell" on it. I decide this isn't going to be good enough so I pass it by and think about the Great Wall of China again. The surroundings turn from busy traffic and commercial buildings to wide open countryside. I fell like I need to get off the road to find the Great Wall. I pull up on the steering wheel and shout, "FLYYYYY!" For a moment all I can see is blue sky and clouds. Nope, too high. Think hovercraft. The front of the car comes back down and dissolves. Now I am zoom flying over grassy fields and dense forests searching for the Great Wall. I am enjoying the speed and the low altitude flight when the dream comes to a halt. I then awaken in reserve order of the DEILD. Darkness, back to physical body, the fan returns, and I open my eyes.

Pre-Bed MD 2020

Woke to WBTB at 3:30 but I had a headache and just wanted to sleep. I thought I could at least set my intentions and do MILD but never got that far. I ended up with a random DILD anyway. I think I was barely lucid in this one as my mind wasn't very critical of the dream.

Catfish? 4:40AM - DILD
I am walking around in some familiar woods. (I think this is one of those locations that exist in only in dreams but I visit often) I am enjoying the peaceful quite and time to myself. I start thinking about some youth minister that was here before doing some cool tricks and claiming it was the power of God. I start doing the same tricks on my own power. I start hovering and walking up trees. Every one in a while a strong wind would lift me up like a kite. Something was very familiar about all of this but I don't get it yet. Then, while walking up a tree I think that he must have had a line attached to him. Then I wonder how I am doing it with out a line and I slowly become lucid. I fly up and over a small river. Flying is difficult so I make swimming motions and that seems to work. I stay low to the ground to have some visual reference.

*memory gap*

Somehow I end up in some sort of enclosed dock. I am walking along and an old fisherman falls in the water but as soon as he does he turns into a very small skeleton of some sort of turtle like creature. I keep walking. There is a container of icyhot on the dock next to a boat. The boat is full of water and has little turtles in it swimming around. I kick the icyhot and a glob hits a turtle. There is a fizzing sound and the turtle turns all white and floats up on its back. I find this interesting so I do the same to the other turtles. I feel bad that I killed them all so knowing its a dream I use expectation to make them live again. They all flip over and swim away.

I get in the boat. The water is gone now. I hear a kitten meowing desperately. I look next to me and see a fishing pole and a net. There is something in the net. I look closer and expect to see a fish but the meowing get louder. There is a kitten with a hook in it mouth. The line is connected to the pole. I start to pick the kitten up and take the hook out but I know it will freak out and scratch me. Even dream pain cad be bad. I pause and look at the kitten. I say, "I know this is a dream. And since this is a dream you will not scratch me. You will be still and let me take the hook out." I pick the kitten up and find the hook in its mouth. I feel so bad for the kitten and wonder how this even happened. I thought maybe the fisher man was using shrimp or something similar. This poor kitten was just hungry and got a hooked in the mouth. Luckily the hook wasn't very deep. I say, "OK. Now the hook will just easily come out without hurting this kitten." The hook falls out into my hand. I let the kitten go and look at the hook.

Somehow I am outside of the dock building thing. I see CM from work. She is working outside with her husband who is splitting logs. CM says something. I float up and get ready to fly away. I ask her why she killed the fisherman. I don't remember her reply but I know it as an admission of guilt. We continue conversation that I can't remember. I basically said that I will have to tell the police. I know that will mean testifying in court and explaining why I was here. I'll have to try and explain lucid dreaming and everything. I am not looking forward to that.(I must have been losing lucidity some)

I try to fly off but I feel stuck in the air. I kick off the building but barely move. I make swimming motions but it doesn't work this time. Then my lucidity come back stronger. I remember point to point flying. I focus on a tree far way for a few seconds and then ZOOM. I fly at an incredible speed. Before I reach the first tree I focus on another. My speed increases. And I focus on the next tree before I reach that. I continue switching focus to keep myself flying. I laugh and feel giddy. The speed is incredible but I quickly lose visual reference. All the tree become a blur. I try to focus on just one tree to stop. I am losing it. The dream is fading. I try to visualize a tree but it is too late.


I find myself sitting at a dinning room table. J, my brother in law in to my left. He is being loud and looking at a TV. It sounds like some football game. I look to my left and see my wife next to me. I wonder how the hell I was just flying in a lucid dream while sitting at this table. I feel like I was hearing him the whole time in my dream. I think about it all of this and start to regain lucidity. Then, my wife loudly whispers in my ear. "I like it when they are drunk." For some reason this jolts me awake.

I've been a little dry since Saturday so every little bit helps. By the way, I am not adding this to my count.

Pre-Bed 5MG Melatonin
WBTB 3:30 (Missed alarm so I just got up at 4:00 long enough to take LDS)
100MG Caffeine
200MG B6

Unfortunately, I was able to finally confirm that taking melatonin pre-bed seems to cause WBTB insomnia. I didn't fall back to sleep until 5:30-5:40

I am driving in a mini-van. I begin to take notice of my visual awareness. (I have been hitting ADA pretty hard this week. I think it was sinking in) I noticed in great detail the road and the turns. I begin to ask why am I here, What was I just doing, and most importantly why am I driving a mini-van? I hate mini-vans. My mind begins to wonder on those questions and my attention slips from my driving. (distracted driving HA!) I found myself on the wrong side of the guard rails on some mountain road. Ding! The light comes on. I don't have to verbalize that I am dreaming. I am just lucid. I instantly know that I can just fly away and have total freedom. I am not in a vehicle anymore and as I begin to float up into a vivid clear blue sky...I wake up just before the alarm. Must be that internal alarm clock thing. Dammit!

Sleep position: Left Side