NyxCC

Date: 22 June

As the title indicates this was not a pleasant night. All possible negative factors in one place (neighbors party, early wake, heat).

Early frag: I got like 3 hrs of sleep, nice rebound from previous day and vivid dreams. It was the story of Mancon. [I think this has Dreamer's influence again]. Another DV member was involved a bit later on. In a later dream there was a brief part that included Sensei, but not enough of recall to claim a point for decent incubation.

Mega insomnia and headache follows. Usually, I don't worry that much because I know this will most likely result in an ld, but this time sleep seemed as distant as the Andromeda galaxy.

A minor ld in between the sleep attempts: Spent it flying in a new prayer style. Hands held together as if in prayer, I use them to set the direction. Some memory about imaging being pulled by a rope in the direction where I want to fly. It's kind of a cool style, close to the ground.

There is another female DC in front of me flying the same style she is coming in my direction and we are about to crash, I let her phase through me - she doesn't hit me but seems to have passed to the side. I concentrate on the flying again and notice that I'm moving extremely slow, I try to speed up thinking about super speed but the movement gets even slower. Soon after I wake.

I realize that I had totally forgotten about looking for Sensei. Continue turning and tossing without any hope of sleep, let alone dreams.

Some rather deep sleep /dreams follow after I finally have the chance to fall asleep.

Random frag: I have a nightmare involving my parents. It's absolute hell and my body jolts me out of it, in the last moments I know it's a dream but who would want to stay there?

Ld fragment: I'm in a room with a female DC. This totally qualifies for the basic totm.

Ld fragment: This was a pretty long ld block, but I'd say it was in a very deep sleep. While I managed to remain lucid for quite a while, I didn't have any recall about tasks or that I was supposed to do anything at all. I spent it with plan B - try to cover as much as possible for as long as possible.

I reflect back on the ld with the woman in the room and make a mental note about it and count lds. (With the gaps in memory this is now rather irrelevant) Memory gap.

I recall later on being on the street at night and lucid again. There's this man playing basketball and I say a few things to him. I continue walking around rather aimlessly and remember it being extremely physical and exhausting at some point as I cover quite a dream distance.

The only action that I somewhat more decently remember is that there were a few snowmen painted somewhere and I got super excited about them and decided to summon more. I filled the entire street square with small and large snowmen, very cool and crazy!

The dream went on with diminishing level of awareness. Didn't wake up straight away and had a few non-lds afterwards, so this messed memory even more.

Date: 21 Jan

Entry 2/2

I thoroughly review in head the previous dreams and get more insomnia

Vaguely recall these two as I fell asleep afterwards.

DILD: I am in this yard like it was in the past, much wider, etc. Know I am dreaming and think of music. It think there was happiness, confidence and possibly thoughts about something before this part.

I start to sing or expect to hear a song. My subcon picks up a dream remix of "heal the world" by M. Jackson. I concentrate on making it sound like sung by a choir and hear the music loudly coming from everywhere and into me. Notice a few instruments too, really nice. I keep singing with the music but at some point I don't know the lyrics so that makes it hard for the music to continue. In addition, the more I become one with the music coming all around me, the more I lose sight of the yard and the dream and become blind. The dream soon fades.

I may have a micro awakening or so, no review, continue sleepying.

DILD:Don't remember the beginning of the dream. I am in this room, talking to bf and open and close a few doors, where I think about not locking them as it is a dream.

Bf is going somewhere but before I can say anything else, he vanishes. There's a stick that I decide to leave outside, should I need it for defense? I also notice a strange gurgling sound coming from a pipe, find it interesting. I go back to the same room, there were lots of bed there before but now it's a single connected bed the size of four beds is covering most of the room.

I remember I wanted to play with my ipad, so I try to summon it by drawing its shape with my fingers. It's funny because I do this instinctively rather than consciously. While there's a rectangular shape in progress, it isn't working to produce an ipad and on the bed just below my hands is my ipad so I grab it and try to stretch the frame. It happens, just as if I was dragging the image of a frame on a PC. I expand the screen to a TV size, then have to apply a bit more stretching as it does not stay in the desired shape for long. It gets small again. I think about trying to control the image.

Then something happens outside and now there are two scary zombi-like DCs and they are about to enter the place. I try to close the door although know they will get in anyways. I decide to face them and affect them. Actually, I feel quite confident and no matter how ugly they are (especially one with something coming out of his mouth), I just feel positivity and so spread it to them. They become quite happy and we just hang in there like drunk buddies. I stare in the eyes of one of them, he feels like a phantom rather than real person and is not looking at me with any purpose/driving force. The dream soon fades.

I black out before being able to journal and have a few other dream fragments.

Date: 21 Jan

Entry 1/2

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, had trouble falling asleep (external factors)

At some point, I begin to feel energetic as has been occasionally the case, but interrupt the process by visiting the restroom. Finding a comfortable position is not easy.

WILD: Finally, I turn to my lhs and remain still for some time. Then find myself staring at this DC woman with green blouse, it feels like I'm in.

I make cautious movements, trying to get up from the same position I was sleeping, initially just move my head. A slight scene change, I am now in my old room. I begin rocking sideways, the way I did at the beginning of another ld. This makes me feel more comfortable/fit in my dream body. Then I fully get up. The dream feels slightly unstable and I head for the window, where I tear down the curtains and look outside.

It is dark as hell, no light in the apartment and not a single light in the entire town. I remember to look at the sky - it's mostly clear, a slight mist and no stars at all. I look to my right and feel a bit creeped out. It is dark there. My worry is that I might summon something by habit. I recall I wanted to and shortly do breathing exercises. The effect is very powerful, I feel lots of saturated energy coming in and as part of me.

I decide to get in and turn around, it is a bit brighter in the room. I head towards the switch and turn it on. No light. Then I concentrate on the bulb and try to make light radiate from it, there's some effect but the room does not get brighter. I imagine another lamp and try to do the same with similar results.

Maybe I can use some candles, so I summon three small blue candles and work hard to light them. I've always thought that lighting a candle should be easy in a dream, but it turns out not. I just can't imagine the fire I guess. The wicks get bigger and fluffier and the candles change to larger ones and I make some fire-like sparks with my hands, rubbing the wick, hoping it will catch fire and use the other candles to spread it. They appear to have a ghostlike fire now, but don't emit much light as I place them around. I am annoyed with my abilities, but feel that I just need to do some fire gazing irl to improve them.

I retreat to the bed and examine the furniture. There's lots of stuff around and it looks as if I am back in this room. I wonder about how accurate the proportions are. It's exactly the same size. Most of the objects belong to the particular time frame when I lived there, but there is the blanket from our current home. Then a sofa from our old place appears for my amusement. I think about doing more breathing exercises (maybe just a few breaths?, not much done or effect) and contemplate on my life while living there. In the meantime, it is a much brighter day outside, when did that happen? Cool!

At some point I notice that I am holding a melting candle in my hand and decide to extinguish it and put it aside, but somehow feel that this symbolic act means the end of the dream. Indeed, just a bit later, the dream starts to thin out.

I think I did touch on my body very briefly, but it might have been a in-dream chain.

DEILD/DILD: I eagerly wait for the next scene, wondering if it will be in the same place. I see (kind of like in third person) myself walking in bathrobe in this place. I'm in properly now and have the ability to look around and choose where I want to go. It's inside a building and I look at this open door which reveals a softly lit bedroom apartment. I briefly consider it, but prefer to go outside, so head towards the door. It seems that it is still winter, piles of semi-thawed snow and I am not properly dressed, but for once boldly go outside. I try to phase through the glass door, but it's solid so I just open it. As I pass through the back entrance of the building and yard I see that part of the yard is sunlit and feel happy about that. Maybe I will finally have the opportunity to look for a palace looking building once I get to the street. I also think about possibly being invisible, but not sure how to apply at this point.

There are different levels of the side of the building, so I have to maneuver by climbing near a balcony to manage reaching the front of the building. I see a weirdly shaped gray cat there and wonder if it is a real cat and can see me (cats are supposed to see things like people possibly obeing), but it doesn't react like it would if that were the case. It's controlled by my thoughts and comes closer. There's something not very catlike in it, like another sort of animal I can't identify. I don't want to get too involved (and have it stuck to me like a blanket) so ignore it and think about finding the palace. There are only normal buildings around and I think I need to get in the middle of the street where I would get a clearer (trees here) view of the buildings and hopefully think of or see something appropriate.

In the middle of the street and my mood is great, sun is shining brighter too. I do some sort of bounce where I float and remain mid air and then gently float up. Very pleasant feel. I come near this tree with very small bipinnate leaves (possibly closest to honey locust tree, but with thicker leaves), it looks very beautiful. I'm starting to lose height so wonder if I should use the nearby thin end of the branch to hold on to, but with the delicate tree leaves this is not going to be very nice for the tree. I prefer not to do any mess on the tree even if a dream tree.

[mood change]

In the meantime, I see two female DCs that I identify as bitches down on the street. My attention is directed at them, I want to and then do something to one of them. I briefly wonder why the hell do I have these desires with those bitches, one of them looks a bit like Rachel Weiss. Luckily, even after what I have done, I manage to control my impulse and don't get a sexy feeling. I think about my tasks again. I am now in what reminds me of my school but the building is kind of shifty/unstable. I think that maybe I should summon my dad and he will drop me off the palace. The dream fades.

Date: 31 May

Pre bed: multivitamins (included gingko and ginseng), SJW, two drops of peppermint oil

Side effects: increased heart rate, heavy insomnia

Other: I think the multivitamins I took stimulated me too much before bed time. I was also dehydrated which made the situation worse. The heart rate wasn't too fast, but it was noticeable when going to bed and made it difficult to fall asleep.

Dream quality and recall: WILD, too dark, which made it harder to engage in the dream. The two DILDs after that were vivid and of higher quality. I woke up after each one. Then had about two hours of insomnia, went into very deep sleep and had little recall.

Impressions: It was an interesting experience, although I wouldn't repeat it again (because of the insomnia)

Sequence: multivits > heartbeat> WILD> about a hour of sleep/or trying to sleep> DILDs> insomnia> deep sleep> WBTB> dream

Dream1 WILD: In bed, dehydrated and with a noticeable heartbeat which made it difficult to fall asleep. I was still for some time, paying attention to the heartbeat, then found myself in darkness. It felt like my consciousness was split in three sections. Part of it was asleep, part of it knew exactly what to do, giving me instructions, and part of it followed the instructions. A bit like having three different thoughts at the same time.

I am in the darkness, and I say to myself how exactly I should grab the scene. The instructions are now vague, but I remember struggling with the darkness, and performing some bodily movements until I end up on a solid street. I find it a bit strange that I am now on this street, a city from my past, I notice that I am sitting on the pavement. It is dark, and there is nobody in sight. I decide to walk a bit, choosing another street I know. I spend some time walking, and reach a bus station. I look around once again, everything is still very dark, so it is hard to see, and there isn't a single light on.

I am a bit worried that the dream will escape, because I almost cannot concentrate on anything here. Then the "interact with a DC" task comes to mind. I know Xanous would probably not be asleep at this time, but decide to try to reach him nevertheless. I call out Xanous a few times, and look around. I cross the street and there are some DCs there, I stop one and try to ascertain if this is Xanous. It is dark, so hard to tell any facial feature, and the guy's face is also blurred. Well, it doesn't feel like him so I let the DC go. I stop another one and hold him for a while. His face gains a bit more definition and I try to analyze it in the darkness. I say that whatever I am doing makes no sense but still hold on to the DC. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

I go to drink some water then back to bed. Reviewed the dream in mind. Fell asleep.

While I had begun to question whether some of my short lucid moment memories that I couldn't recall in the past few weeks were real, I now have an absolute certainty because I woke up shortly after these two.

Dream2 DILD: In some version of the same city, but everything is much more vivid now and it is day time. I am supposed to meet a friend of mine like the last time we did that. But somehow our plans don't work out. Instead I end up facing a threat from an invisible enemy. I am lucid now, and have a greater sensory perception. Initially it was as if I am on the balcony, but it quickly changes into multidimensional walled space in front of me, hard to describe. The energetic entity is not visible because it is behind the wall, yet I feel it because I stretch move with my entire being through the wall that feels like just space, and come in close contact with it. It is not pleasant, I feel its energy. I am trying to move it away by manipulating the matter. I get rid of the thing and find myself between four walls with creamy tiles on them. I notice that there is no door, but don't care much. I can move through space.

Dream3 DILD: In the more or less the same city, some kind of scenario is developing. People are still using horses instead of cars, they are leaving the city because of some emergency. I watch while this is happening, there is some blue stuff of the floor. I remember that this is the second time this is happening. I am lucid, I spill more blue stuff on the floor, and enjoy it for a while. I make a strange posture to show/explain something to one of the DCs in the room? I turn and look to the other side of the room where there is a window. I decide to stabilize the dream by intending it. I check the overall feeling, yes, stable. My mind is also clearer now. I look out the window, and see three boys in the distance. "Interact with a DC", on my mind again. (I really wish I could remember more tasks! ). I climb through the window and slide down. It feels like the roof of a building or on top of a train. The boys are playing soccer, so I shout that I want to play with them. They kick the ball towards me and I see it coming, but it is too high, I control its movement so it is easy for me to catch it. As I am preparing to have a kick, the dream falls apart and I wake up?

Fragment4: I am having a short dream where I am discussing the three boys. I identify one of them as a neighbor kid from the past, but I know he is grown up now.

I wake up and review the dreams, I am super awake and cannot fall asleep for two hours. When I finally do, I slip into unmemorable dreams.

WBTB: I wake up tired about one hour before the planned wake time. Upset that I messed up the plan for tonight. I decide to take one p.oil capsule, then go to bed concentrating on having an ld.

Fragment5: A classmate is wearing strange clothes

Fragment6: I am in some water, and there is sand around. My bf is also swimming with me in this strange place. I try to get out of the water, climbing strange sand dunes. Then we go to an indoors swimming pool where I plunge into the water, a bit worried about hitting the bottom.