NyxCC

Backlog

A lenghty ld though some parts are completely impossible to recall due chaining, continued sleep and overall dream idleness.

Me and grandma plus some other DC are headed up this building with really weird stairs. It turns out that there is some workshop taking place. My awareness goes up for a moment and I realize this a dream and that I am about to visit a sort self-defence workshop. This sounds pretty cool and I wonder if I would be able to learn something. I get inside but lose lucidity as we are instructed to sit there and watch funny presentations about other people.

My awareness finally goes up and stays that way. I waste a lot of time just walking and looking around, the surroundings change to this partially outdoors quite spacey area. Also, I make a little affirmation that will ld for as long as possible (not going to wake up). There is one very awesome thing that happens by itself. As I am looking around, it seems that it is raining, so while I am gently turning to the side and at that point either time or the water freezes in time /slows significantly. I am able to see each and every single raindrop suspended in the air in a sort of super slow (or suspended) motion and all of these raindrops are little round spheres of water that I can see in detail. It's so unexpected and amazing, I can't believe it. I think I need to take a second to look to the side and contemplate on what I have just seen. I make a big mental note about this.

After some more exploring, I become concerned about me actually having to perform some tasks rather than doing nothing (good point, especially since I recall very little from that part). I remember I wanted to do the Toty drinking contest with Hercules and Dionysus. My ideal representative DC for Hercules would be the Rock, I try to summon him here and there but he doesn't show up. I am disappointed and continue with my general summon idea - guys in ancient type of clothes or topless muscular guys. A number of DCs appear and there is an older man with some ragged clothes that could look like Dionysus after he has been having too much fun. With some more effort, a topless DC with reasonable appearance and muscle comes near Dionysus and it's time for the drinking contest to begin.

I go to the side of this house (in front of which we currently are) and get in the kitchen where there are a number of ancient jugs hopefully full of wine. I take quite a bit of time looking for the one that is large enough and also full, take a very ancient looking one and bring it to the guys. Dionysus drinks a bit of the liquid but he spits it out (I later think how my DCs are always trying to cheat), anyways I take the turn and drink a great deal of this weirdly tasting strong alcohol, even have some worries about dream swallowing waking me up. I manage to keep my concentration but as I pass the jug to Hercules, the dream thins out.

Not really sure if I chained, the scene reappeared etc. It was a similar overall construct to the previous place but the guys and the wine are gone. I give it another try, summoning some more topless muscular guys. A few such DCs appear though with not as much muscle as desired and I mentally try to add more muscle. As these guys are now approaching me, I have a moment of apprehension about them actually turning hostile and what am I going to do in such case, but I manage to calm myself down before this manifests, thinking these guys are fine etc. The scene is pretty difficult to organize this time and I give it up, also being distracted by bf in one of the nearby rooms of the area. I go back to look for him but he is not there anymore. My memory is pretty bad but at some point the dream interrupts again.

While I expect the dream to be over, I am surpised to find myself in the dream again. Somewhat similar overall long open area with transitioning parts. I contemplate whether I should wake myself as not to forget the details so far. But then I am still dreaming, so why wake up. I try to make a review of what has happened so far so I that I don't forget. Ok, what else could I do here, I try to recall some more tasks. The problem is I didn't consider more tasks for today and it is difficult to recall any from DV. Still I am convinced that if I think about it will be able to recall one more from the totys - the nemean lion. I recall the steps.

There is a window separating the area where I am and the outside and as I try to phase through it I end up peel lifting the glass which turns into other light material. I end up in a place like a back yard where I try to summon the lion. Some really cool music shortly plays at this point (and also different music in prior parts of the dream, really good quality), it really fits the mood. I have some doubts about my summon working (it feels like one of those dreams), but tell myself not to give up and try to think about a lion instead of the casual summon technique.

This works and soon a smaller than expected (large dog sized) male lion comes near. He is not too aggressive, but definitely wild. I grab him at the back of his neck (no lifting) and take him along with me, looking for the exibition place. I make mental notes about his size, how convenient the place is. We enter a large hall where it seems the contest will be taking place, though the participangs have not arrived yet. To save time, I summon a cat and take it along as well. It's a really stubborn cat so I have to constantly hold it too. I position the animals on small pillows? for the contestants that have self summoned here.

The referees are here, a DC referee woman takes a look at the cat and a few more cats that have appeared on nearby pillows. She then proceeds to do an examination of my lion, saying something about his paws and posture and in approval finally hands us the price - a roll of paper with the winner certificate. I run out of attention, the dream thins out and I wake up.

I miss the wbtb alarm but end up thinking about lucidity and how nice it would be to have one just after pressing the final snooze.

In the neighborhood where I see a family friend talking about something, then someone calls another DC and we head back home. As I get out of the car I look around, my awareness goes up and I realize this is a dream. I can relate the place I am at to a previous dream (near where I was standing when examining the plates possibly after that) and wonder about my awareness then. After giving it some thought, I become convinced I had a lucid moment at some point in the dreams before. A nearby DC tells me it was indeed a lucid dream. That makes me feel even worse that I wasted a lucid moment and didn't do anything.

"If you have a lucid dream, then do a task rather than just lose lucidity" I think angrily to myself. Ok, time to do that right now. I remember the hole task and hastily put my hand in my pocket, trying to get hold of something. I feel a small round object and concentrate on the floor ahead as I throw it forward. This time (compared to couple of days ago) it produces a nicely sized somewhat transparent dark hole. I stare at it for a bit longer and then cautiously jump in. I end up on the ground laying on my side in shallow waters at approximately the same dream scene. The water has some strange properties - it's in partial existence and feels different. I get up and look around. The snooze wakes me up.

Date: 06 June

Didn't plan to wbtb but woke up super alert and couldn't fall asleep for quite a while. Had to rush so left only key words and wrote the entry much later. Apart from that I can say that this was probably one of the longest lds I've had.

Ld: I appear on the street in a car, some guy nearby. For some reason I decide to think of my physical body and panic as not to wake myself [have been reading about this on the forum and got some sort of schema infection]. I try to ignore it and concentrate on the dream, get out of the car. On the street, I run into a chick with a black dress, try to kiss her for totm but wake up.

I wait for another dream.

LD: In an apartment with my mom (this dream lasts super long, I don't try to memorize the details though). Mostly spend it in the apartment, walking around and talking to mom, trying not to control or influence her. Very stable. Mom is talking like a normal person. I kiss her on the cheek for totm.

I examine the living room, the objects - wooden Mayan statues like the face of Pacal. Kids collectible toys on nearby shelves - I start to recognize them, false memories, they are mine. This place, I have been here before. I face mom and start questioning her about all this. She explains something about this being in the future and our new place.

What's interesting is that I feel super alert. I scan my awareness and I feel this wakefulness - very alert and just as if in real life. I think it's impossible to be dreaming this alert and yet I'm here. There's an Asian DC in place of mom now and a second DC next to her. I intensely question the first about the dream and place but she only smiles shyly. A moment later something happens super fast - there is some sort of an open box and the Asian woman disappears into it - like genie into a lamp sort of but vanishes to leave the empty open box. The other DC turns into some weird objects - it's hard to tell what they are, they turn to little plastic soldiers then transform into other plastic colorful objects.

I remember the meteor task and go to the window, stare at the sky to see a meteor form out of the nothingness. It then moves from the distance following a twisted trajectory, decelerates to fall in front of the window and into a shallow water that covers the street where it disintegrates. I'm a bit disappointed that there is no showy splash or damage, so repeat the process with two smaller meteorites that fall and dissolve in the same way.

The dream continues and I turn back to the apartment where I hang out more. I begin to feel possible lack of ability to stay here, so I go into the kitchen to drink a glass of refreshing cold water. This helps me feel better and focus. A moment later I decide to fully immense in living in this other place and have breakfast. My mom serves me some eggs, they weren't as delicious as I had hoped for but ok.

At some point my bf arrives, where we discuss the place and future but I lose lucidity.

The next part I recall is that we are strolling on the beach and I'm lucid again, reshaping the beach and calming down the waves.

My recall is completely fragmented at the end but after some more on and off lucidity I end up in a church watching DC wearing weird clothes.

Date: 19 Sept

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: 60 mg caffeine (RB)

Non-ld fragment: I am trying to take a shortcut at night in this familiar from previous dreams city. In one of the dark streets, I run into criminal DCs with very bad teeth. A number of young people sitting on a bench agree to defend me if necessary and I go sit there. I find one of the guys extremely beautiful. We talk for a while, but they are leaving soon. I notice that his whole body is covered with small, shiny clear droplets of water and stare in fascination.

In love: Very deep sleep and my recall is not very good.

We are moving in the dorms because it is much cheaper. There are six beds in the room and a guy who already lives here. I ask if only two of the beds, ours, are going to be used. He confirms.

The dream goes on for quite a while with all kinds of thoughts about clothes, bathroom etc. Then it looks like more people actually live here and we will be sharing the room, now apartment with them. Someone opens the door and lots of DCs come in, new roommates, I think. This girl asks me questions about the admin, I don't understand what she is saying.

Bf is gone and this guy comes and talks to me. I realize that this is a dream but my mind is kind of foggy. I remember having thoughts about me being in deep sleep and that this is good for stability. The guy leaves and another one appears, I like him very much and remark that he shows some persistent DC qualities. He comes and goes several times but looks the same, gray t-shirt, black hair, some eyeliner even, a bit like Mark Terenzi. He also gives me a kiss. We talk for some time but my memory is really bad. The dream starts to fade, I lose my sight but I can still hear him. I tell him to keep talking to me, I will hold on to the sound. I can feel my eyelids and am careful not to mess this up, but soon the image returns. He gives me another kiss. The dream slips away again and I struggle to bring it back. He is on the other side now but looking totally different and there is another guy dressed with the same clothes and holding a similar colorful object. The dream fades and I fall into oblivion.

Falling: I am walking down the stairs talking to this DC. It looks like I have forgotten my handbag, I turn back and see it at the top of the stairs. I make it fly directly to my hands. The DC remarks that I am not supposed to do this while abroad. I have this warp-like feeling and realize that I never woke up from the previous dream. The B6 woman is also here in the background and I wonder if I should go and talk to her, examine her energy, and ask why does she always behave like that. At the same time, I don't want to waste too much time with her and risk things getting out of hand, so decide to just ignore her.

I am looking at a large modern glass vase that they are selling in this now shop and try to move it with tk, but not much success. I also try with an elegant china tea cup but I feel that I don't really want to be breaking these things. Finally, I remember Angel Falls and follow the plan of "here and now". The main idea is to use the turn your back technique. I already hear water running just behind me (like a fountain in a mall). I am in some sort of not very well lit mall too. I take a few steps back, concentrating on changing the surroundings. I actually slip backwards a few steps, which feels kind of weird and not very effective, but the surrounds begin to change a bit. I decide to facilitate the process of getting rid of the old scene and into a new scene by falling backwards.

As I do this, it's as if something immaterial swallows me and I enter void weightlessness combined with motion. I shortly see lots of greenery in front of me that is very similar to rainforest vegetation, but it quickly vanishes. I am speeding backwards in the void with this weird feeling of traveling through space at high speed. For a second my mind is totally blank and I feel stressed, I try to remind myself to keep cool, be patient as it seems to be taking too long and shortly pretend I am meditating. Then I try to concentrate on one of my visualizations and build the scene as I had imagined it. During the entire time of the experience, I hear the sound of falling water. It is much harder to concentrate and visualize than I thought, but I succeed in having lots of water flowing on me in the darkness now. I try to prepare the scene again even though it's not the right place where I actually wanted to start from. I am still flying backwards through space, this thing doesn't stop even if I expect it to. I briefly see the top of a barren hill with a non-human castle in the negative mood of some game or a game related dream. I don't want to be there. The falling continues and I finally find myself in bed. I stay still for a while but nothing happens.

Comments: is it just me or is it really hard to concentrate on anything while in the void. I have noticed this another time as well. The moment everything disappears, my mind also goes totally black and if my mind is blank...then there will be nothing to project around me. Maybe I need to think about stuff, rather than struggle to visualize.

Date: 17th Aug

Pre bed: SJW, 100 mg B6

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Dream quality and recall: vivid, some stability issues, evading recall

Non-ld: I am in the place I used to live before. There are problems with the lock and I am trying to avoid my new neighbors. Once again, I am staying here only temporary and prepare my stuff to leave the next day...

WBTB:I got woken up, decided to use as WBTB, repeated mantra a few times, distractions again.

LD1: I finally fall asleep and find myself on the street of the same town from my past, near the post office. There is also a bear there. A bear? Lucid. I don't pay any more attention to the bear but on its place two large dogs appear, behaving menacingly. I just want to go forward and stretch my hands, as if feeling the dream/wind or whatever but the dogs bite my hand. The biting causes a strange sensation of burning pain, I struggle to get rid of the dogs. As they won't go away, I decide to ask the rest of the DCs for help. There are lots of DCs passing by on the nearby street and I start calling for help, but nobody pays me any attention. However, the moment I start asking for help those dogs get out of my sight and disappear. I look at the DCs which are like a school of fish, silently passing by, many of them having dogs on leashes, small to big ones different breeds. It looks absolutely insane.

I have no idea what happened, but now I am in a dark room, no sign of DCs or dogs. I finally remember that one way to deal with scary creatures is to transform into something scarier or at least powerful, so I decide I would do the tiger transformation. I get on the floor and first of all hear coming from me a slightly muffled but tiger's roar which I actually didn't mean to do. Then I try to feel my legs, but I kind of concentrate on my human body too much, so the transformation is only half done. I can't see much of my limbs to confirm if they are human or animal ones, just feel that I am stuck in the middle of the process and want to look in some reflective surface to check what's going on. My mood goes quite bad as I get bored doing this and wonder what to do next but the dream ends.

Micro-ld: I am on a ferry type of boat, on the upper deck that is open. It also reminds me of all these city boat tours they offer at various places I have been to with my mom. My mom is also there telling me to be careful, so I hold on to the rail. It is quite cold so I get out my blanket. I notice that the sky is covered with dark clouds which are much closer to the boat than they are supposed to be. I hold on even tighter and then see that a tornado has formed in the distance. I get a very convincing false memory that I recently had a dream about this? and now am seeing it irl. There's something about this whole thing and the tornado so I become lucid. In the meantime the driver of the boat moves us closer to the river bank and allows the passengers to disembark safely. I look at the tornado with interest and decide I will try to avoid it by going to the subway station where it has no reach. (I'd say my mind was kind of foggy for ld). I immediately reach a subway passage but before I get in, I have another look at the tornado. It is huge and partially turns into some sort of drilling machine as I stare at it. It also comes closer. I decide it's time to quit playing and go underground and figure out what to do from there.

I have no idea or rather memory what happened, it seems like the dream ended, I briefly lost consciousness then on to the next dream.

LD2: I am in the yard of our old neighborhood and bf is making some kind of sex-related remarks. I ignore him and bf just leads the way towards the street. I notice that both of us are barefoot and concentrate on the feeling, while getting a mix of false and true memories.

At this point I become lucid and we continue towards the fence. As I get there, I see some animals again. A medium size dog that is coming towards me and also a cat, then two more cats appear. I get the feeling that all these animals are attracted to/by me and think that this is becoming very similar to OB's issue with the blankets. I try to make make them go away, making funny movements with my hands. Then I succeed in turning them against each other. This is a very entertaining sight although I do feel slightly guilty doing this, now the cat has turned into a kitten and is wrestling the dog. They are more in some sort of confrontation than real fight but I am amazed that I am actually controlling their movements. After my sense of wonder/amusement subsides, I leave them and move on down the street, bf with me.

I go over some tasks but am reluctant to engage in something that will destabilize the dream too much. However, the moment I think about Angel Falls, I notice the sound of running/falling water from a nearby yard. In my mind, I know that's something else, but I think it can be used to summon Angel Falls. So what I do is I turn my back on the yard and the sound, concentrate on it and start walking backwards towards it, expecting AF to be there. Bf is holding my hands as I am walking backwards and the dream turns void-like, mostly I see darkness behind me as I walk. I am slightly worried that I might stumble upon some unexpected object but then remind myself that there is really nothing there.

I slowly turn and check the result. This is not our neighborhood anymore, but it is still the yard of some people and there are lots of watery things there. Hard to describe, two fountains/geysers, puddles of water, also water randomly springing and running over the place. The yard abruptly ends and I see small amounts of water running down the stone edge, which gives me some hope. As I look down I see that the next level is about two floors below and there is an inland beach. I also check out the surroundings and see that beyond that inland beach is a valley with trees and the sea at the end of it.

I feel that I won't have the time to go to the sea and chose to use the inland beach for the advanced TOTM. There also small kids there, something like sand and rocks near the water. It is quite high and as I finally gather the courage and prepare to jump in the water, the dream ends.

Date: 15 May

Pre bed: 400 mg valerian, 100b B6

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Impressions and Recall: There was my usual for B6 sense of aggression seeping through parts of the dream. After waking up from the lucid (after 5 hrs of sleep), I decided to take key notes and review as not to wake myself up. I got pretty excited and the internal dialogue turned on full power, resulting in about an hour of insomnia. After that I fell into deeper more unconscious type of sleep with a decreased recall capability. I had another lucid from which I remember only a part, I continued sleeping after it was over and had an non-ld.

Fragment1: Some kind of posts on DV that had to do with PennyRoyal.

Fragment2: At home, my parents have gone somewhere and I am in my room cooking some strange pancake/calzone thing that looks and tastes delicious. I have to leave some for my grandma.

Dream3 DILD TOTY attempt: I am in a room which feels familiar, three women are sitting around the table, and I am cleaning up as if after a meal. One of the women has some tempting white green chocolate cookies, I am secretly planning on having a few after the women are gone. Another female DC comes in and starts behaving really aggressively. She demands all the attention, looks me in the eye with hatred and begins complaining to one of the women in the room. I have the feeling that they will start a fight with each other, so get out of there fast. Her hostility feels kind of fake, and at this point the memory of the B6 effect for me reaches my subcon on a subtle level.

I find myself on the stairs of a building and lots of aggressive gangster type boys are all around me. One of them is particularly evil, feels dangerous. I become lucid on a distracted level, realizing this is a dream, but unable to do anything about the guy. I am trying to move away but it is really crowded on the stairs, I think somebody pushed me, and I end up in a niche on the wall. The wall is not really wall but something liquid that sucks me in. As I move forward in this thing, I achieve a better clarity of mind and am fully lucid and in control. There is a single task that I feel the urge to do now, go to Angel Falls. I remember CL’s advice to try to feel the floor, so I move my fingers, touching the empty space and feeling small grains of sand and pebbles. The dream idea was to be on top of Angel Falls, but in the water, so in addition to my feeling the floor, I begin to make swimming movements with my hands. The wall is already liquid and it is like a white pinkish sinking sand made of rubber-like substance. The whole world has disappeared and it is just me and the wall and I feel a closer to the void, afraid that the dream would destabilize and disconnect. I am swimming forward and nothing happens for a while, but I decide to keep on swimming. At some point the whole environment changes and I find myself looking at a flower, submerged in water.

I look at the dark purple flower and marvel its beauty, noticing every petal in detail. I look around, and see that I am in the middle of a pond/lake that stretches as far as my eyes can see. At the same time, mixed with this image I find myself in my old room, where all this is taking place. I focus on the surface of the pond which looks like a silver mirror reflecting the clouds. I then notice that this pond is covered or rather slowly begins to cover itself with lotus flowers. Bright yellow and magenta lotus flowers are everywhere I move my eyes to look. I feel happiness upon witnessing this beautiful sight. The dream is extremely vivid and stable. Needless to say, I am somewhat distracted by this, but keep gliding on the surface of the pond in the direction of Angel Falls. This doesn’t work too well, I am still within the confines of my room, looking through some glass that distorts the view from outside, which is the view from my room with strange rainbow-like effects. A bit like looking out during a bus ride. It looks like my room wins the battle between the two layers of images, gaining more detail.

Soon the water level in the room goes down and with it my lucidity. I struggle to restore the water level with intent, but non-lucid already. I manage to briefly do so, but then I see the floor and the water is retreating. There is also mud everywhere, the furniture is falling apart. I become concerned about the state of my old room and wonder how to clean everything. [end of memory]

After the dream ended, I had a brief awakening, noting to myself about the lucid, but then fell asleep again. I heard some kind of bell-like sound, I guess a type of HI, that actually woke me up. After reviewing the dream I had 1 hour of insomnia. Then - deeper sleep and less memorable sleep.

Fragment4: Having to share the bed with relatives, I preferred sleeping on the ground.

Fragment5: Some more beds, family friends.

Dream6 DILD: I am in my hometown, in a familiar park and am lucid. I see a few dogs around, mostly small ones and larger one (no idea what breed) captures my attention. I keep looking at it and feel my emotions reflected in the dog. I observe it a for a while, the dream is stable, I am happy. By simply looking around, I unconsciously summon more dogs of different smaller breeds. I find this cool. [end of memory]

Fragment7: I see and talk to a politician I don’t like.