Amurehna

SP
Non-Lucid
Lucid
I haven't had sleep paralysis at night in a long time, which is good because SP at night always produced nightmares even if it was just about my bedroom. This time I feel it coming and it doesn't scare me. It's faint, I know I can choose to go with it or to shake myself out of it. I consider SP a rare opportunity for a partial lucid dream, so I take it.
There's a distant buzzing and my body feels heavy. I tilt my head back slowly, and the more I tilt it back the louder the buzzing gets. I actually see myself for a split second, the crown of my head burrowed back into the edge of my pillow. Then I see my room, my eyes fix on the bookcase across from the bed. Everything still looks normal, which is a plus.
For one I actually remember that I've always wanted to try singing while I'm Lucid, and this is as close as I can get to it. I feel like I've slipped between the layers of the world and found a good...transmitting spot. I start to hum ascending notes. It resonates in my head, I can feel the vibration of the notes in my teeth like I'm humming with my jaw clenched except it doesn't -feel- clenched.
I wonder if I'm actually making noise, or if it's all in my head. So I will my mouth to move and issue the beginning of words. Definitely a difference, the singing is all in my head.
I sing Liam's name and wonder if he can hear me, midday is the best time for dreams like this.



I'm dropped into the middle of a dream. I'm Clary Fray from the Mortal Instruments series. She's at a hospital, waiting in the office. She's grilling the receptionist about some event, sure that the woman knows about the person she's looking for.
The receptionist is a pretty black woman, dressed in a blue skirt and jacket. Clary exits via a door behind the receptionist but my subconscious stays to witness the next part of the story. I notice the bluish-white walls and dark blue commercial carpet. The woman picks up the phone and dials a number. She looks terrified. I can only hear her half of the conversation.
"No, I didn't say anythin---please don't! You can't! I promise I didn't say---"
The sleep paralysis has warped the dream, I can only see part of her face and the longer I look at it the stranger she becomes. She begins to gain the appearance of a stuffed doll. The eye I can see blinks furiously, warding off tears. Each time she blinks and squeezes her eye shut it gets smaller until it is an oblong black bead.
This really disturbs me. What happens next is worse. She shakes her head and begins to choke, phone still at her ear. Her head separates violently from her shoulders, twists off and lands in the corner, spraying the room with bright red blood.
I stare at this in disbelief. I know I need to get help. I no longer remember why, but I go into the corner of the room. I look myself over to make sure I'm not covered in blood, there's a little bit of spatter on my shoes.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice a black kitten wandering over the threshold. Before she can track through the blood I pick her up and leave the room to notify someone of what has happened.

The hallway outside is wide and carpeted in that same commercial grade blue. The doors are all blonde wood with silver handles. I start checking rooms for hospital staff. The first room on the right stands open. The cat starts to freak out, flailing wildly and clawing the hell out of my arm. I hold on to her, when I look into the room I understand her distress. There are two large, collared lynxes standing at the foot of the bed. One is black, the other is a kind of white/cream/grey calico with a red collar. This room is brightly lit. I can see the foot of a big hospital bed.
The next room on the right is dark and has three big black dogs.
I begin to understand that I'm in the supernatural wing of the hospital. I set the cat down and she follows me. I see the mouth of the stairs at the end of the hallway. The female cat has become a male dog and runs ahead of me to the stairs. He looks back to see if I'm following and then darts down the stairs.
When I reach the stairs I hesitate. I know from previous dream experience that stairs give me trouble.
"There's no guard rail." I think, frowning at the wide, curving, steep stairway. The steps are long and shallow, covered with raised dark grey circles. "I hate stairs. Well...won't know if I can do it until I try." I try to keep my hand on the inside wall as I descend, but the sharp decline of the stairs gives me a bad case of vertigo. I trip, and fall down them like they are a slide. I tumble out by glass double doors and try not to be embarrassed about my inability to traverse a set of stairs.
There's a woman dressed in blue scrubs with her hair tied back in a ponytail. She's at a vending machine, I call to her.
"Hey, do you know who this dog belongs to?"
She looks surprised. "He's mine. I wonder how he got out, must have jumped his wall."
For some reason I'm defensive, "I don't know I just found him wandering around in the hallway." I hesitate, wondering how I should tell her that the receptionist upstairs has met a terrible end. Will she blame me? How much time did it take me to get down here? If it's been hours will I look guilty that I've waited.
"I thought I'd get something from the vending machine while it was still slow. "
I glance down at the dog, he has a long plastic wrapped stick of nutterbutters in his mouth. "I guess we know what -he- wants."
"Hey, I don't know who to tell..." I say finally, I don't actually tell her aloud what happened to the receptionist and I don't get to hear her response. She runs past me to phone upstairs, the phone is bright red.They want me to meet back in the office so I can tell them what I saw.

I appear back upstairs and I'm walking with Clary to the office. I turn to face her and one second I'm thinking she looks exactly as I imagined her and then I think "What are you talkin' about? She doesn't look anything like Clary." As soon as I think it, she begins to look different.
For one her hair is a dull wispy blonde instead of red. I stare at her, mentally shouting at it to change, while actually flailing my hands at her. "red." nothing. "Change!" nope. "YOU. ORANGE. NOW." Nothing. The dream-Clary is looking at me with mild amusement.
"What are you doing?" She asks.
For a split second I'm not myself, I'm her mother. I take her face in my hands and lean down. She smiles at me. Her face changes, because with SP dreams nothing is really fixed, she almost looks deformed.

There's a lapse. I'm in a van, in the middle row of seats. Another character from the book, Simon, is driving. He says he has no idea where we're going. I offer to take over because, you know, you can totally switch drivers while still moving. I climb over the seat in front of me, leaving three people sitting in the back by the rear doors. I see Simon with his light grey hoodie. I make my way over the next row of seats to where Simon is and he takes my place in the back of the van.
That's when I realize he was somehow driving from the second row instead of the driver's seat. I frown at it. The driver's seat is pushed really close to the dash. I squeeze myself between it and the wheel.
"How were you even driving from back there?"
"Just talented I guess."
"That is NOT an answer."
He laughs at me.
I really want to move the seat back but I'm afraid of crushing the knees of the people behind me. Besides, I have to concentrate on driving. I turn right at the intersection...

I don't really remember the rest. Something about parking on a road in a patch of woods bordering a farm.