NyxCC

Pre pre: turmeric

Wbtb: had 1/3 latte, was more sleepy, so the ld was more stable, but tasks less accessible.

A dream starts with some scenario going while I'm in my bed in ex-bedroom trying to fall asleep. A moment of the usual confusion as I'm uncertain in the darkness which hands I'm moving. I think I'm moving my real hands because I can touch some of the furniture next to the bed. Then decide to make the dream appear, get up and expect to be able to move in the dream scene, which builds now fully around me. With slightly more confidence I go to the other room, where I examine the furniture layout. Contrary to my expectations the room seems very orderly, and nothing stands out to point out this is a dream. It looks suspiciously realistic and as if this is happening now. Then I have a look at the sofa and see dad and bf relaxing on the opposite sides.

I remember I wanted to do the easter egg task again. This time, I decide to just think of it rather than use hand summon to make the egg appear, then look to my side. There is a weird looking plant which is decorated with eggs. I pick a purple colored egg from the plant and remind myself to break it. Yet, the egg feels hollow and light and I'm afraid there won't be anything inside. I hold it for a while trying to make it a bit heavier and fill it with something to see. The egg remains light and I now worry that if I don't hurry up, these mental efforts will make it transform to something else, so go ahead and break it. The initial impression is that there is nothing inside, but as I examine the small pieces of egg shell fallen in, I notice there are a number of miniature banknotes inside the egg. I make a mental note for the journal.

The DCs change positions and now it's mom, dad and bf sitting on the couch and I start asking them questions. Unlike other of my conversations with DCs, these three can actually speak, forming entire complex sentences more or less answering my questions. I believe I have finally come across smart DCs. Unfortunately, I was unable to recall the most of the things they said, and had not been very prepared to ask them more questions either. This is what I remember.

My first thought is to wonder if it's possible those to be the real people I know, where we are all dreaming this here and now. I have some intuition that this isn't the case, but then wonder if it could be that all of us are engaged in this conversation in a different time (like the past or maybe the future), so I ask the DCs about that. My mom's DC starts to explain something about animals having the ability to do something similar to what we are doing now, but humans have lost this ability. I want them to continue explaining and ask them more questions I can't recall. The only gibberish moment happens when I focus too much on the speech and try to apply extra understanding to it. If I casually listen, they continue with their explanations.

The DCs change to other male DCs I don't know, they continue being smart and I feel close to them as if meeting friends I haven't seen for a long time. The conversation continues and I ask one of the guys something about the dream. He makes a remark that long dreams like this can be especially tiresome for some of the participants as if referring to himself. I'm out of ideas for questions, so try to remember the other tasks but the very strong effort to access this hard to reach memory causes the dream the completely collapse and me to wake up.

I do a mental review and still tired continue sleeping.

Early fragment: something good about a DV member and lds

Dream: me and parents are living in a street shop that is a house. The place also reminds me of a cheap hotel room. I complain about all of us having to share the toilet. I want to do the laundry before we go out. The neighborhood is very bad too.

Fragment: mom wants to play golf because she can't wait for me on fridays?

Fragment: I am examining a large bullet that has been fired already and wonder if it can be used again. Some guys are after me, I run to the top of the building.

late-WBTB&WILD: As I am falling asleep, I expect to see a scene form in the darkness and think about my hands. I appear on a dark street, make a few movements to properly get in and stabilize and then my body begins to float up. I decide to control the flight and will myself to fly up but reach a certain height maybe about two floors high and the float/flying stops and I slowly go down. I wonder why's that and try again with the intention of going to the roof of the building this time. I float up but the dream ends and I need to get up too.

Woke up in the middle of the night after Fragment1, could not fall asleep so began day dreaming. An hour and a half passed in this insomnia, which you could say was an involuntary WBTB.

Fragment1: Reading DV discussion

Dream2[DILD]: [This was a very long dream and I forgot some parts of it. I was going in and out of lucidity.] My first memory is that I am in front of our old home, on the street and it is night. I am lucid at this point. There are a number of DCs in front of me and they get scared, point at the sky. I look and there are some clouds coming, some supposedly scary sound and a bigger than usual moon. Something is coming towards us. I decide to go in the building.

The next thing I remember is I wake up in my old room and bed non-lucid (FA). I begin to move things around via TK and think, “I have become so good at this in my dreams, that I can finally do it irl”. I am a bit afraid of falling asleep, so I decide to stay awake in the room. I do things to keep myself awake, turning on more lights, other stuff I can’t remember. I spend a really long time there. I look out the window and notice that the nearby building is closer that it really is, but I totally disregard this, looking at some fancy handbags.

At some point a good DC appears, his presence helps me get lucid again. The moment he is there, I already know that it is a dream again. I sit on a school desk, he sits near me and we interact, no sure if we talk, or he just stays there, while I have all these thoughts about lucidity. I am very glad about the whole thing. We spend a long time there. Soon the room changes and I am in some kind of shop, looking at cosmetics, non-lucid. There is a lovely lip gloss made of honey, and I consider purchasing it. The female owner of the shop wants us out though, so the good DC helps me take the lip gloss out of the shop, I put it in his pocket and we walk out.

I am in a building and enter a new room. Because the good DC is with me, I regain lucidity again. I am very happy. There is more interaction with him, just talking and thinking about the dream. This time he is the actor Robin Williams. I tell him that despite the fact that he is very friendly and nice, I am already bored of spending so much time with this character, so I try to change him to the singer Robbie Williams. I do that very easily, change him, but do not succeed in getting Robbie, but some other person, I don’t like the way he looks.

At that point, there are bad DCs outside the room, throwing some grenades at the building. This is a dream after all, and I shouldn’t pay too much attention to that. But as I look out of the window, there are more of them and another grenade hits the building, cracking the wall. I lose my lucidity, it is time for me to get out of there. I try to take my things, but I don’t have any here, and I am in my pyjamas! This is the third floor and I go down the stairs in direction basement.

On the stairs, while evacuating the house with other DCs, I regain my lucidly again and decide to make a portal or passage through the basement, so that I get out of there. When I reach the basement a see a very long corridor, where the DCs from the building are running. At this point, I become very concerned that I am starting to forget parts of the dream, I wonder if there is any way for me to review it, but continue following the DC crowd. We reach a room full of stairs and I climb all of them, I am at the last one when I finally awake.

Dream3: We are in our old place and a squirrel gets in. It is very aggressive and jumps on everything, me including. I don’t like it, so I throw it out of the window. My mom is worried that it might have hurt itself, but I see it on the tree. It tries to get into our place, so I close all the windows. In my hand I am holding a squirrel tail, I touch it and remark how soft and fluffy it really is.

Dream4: My parents and I are queuing for Burger King. In front of us there are two girls who hold drinks on their heads and do some crazy moves. That irritates me. It is our turn to order but I have no idea what they have because there are no pictures. My mom tells me to go first and I tell the woman behind the counter – Liz from Nip/Tuck, that I haven’t been to BK over a year, so I forgot what they have. I tell my mom to order and she gets some chicken burger, I order the same. We go to McDonalds to sit there, we are just going to order some drinks and sit.

Fragment5: I am drawing something again.

Total Sleep time: 8+hrs

Dream recall method: Dr1- noted sentences; Dr2-Dr7 – none

Other: I was feeling very sleepy and tired; there are some gaps in my memory, some fragments re-emerged later.

After HI and falling asleep: I noticed something after briefly waking in the first hours of sleep; now all I am left with is the vague memory; was it dream talking again?

Dream1: We are waiting for the tram, most of my DC friends are dressed officially, but I wear some casual clothes. I am slightly worried about that, but they say “I wish I had your attitude towards life”, “Yeah, but sometimes I feel afraid from all those things I know”, I reply. [I wish I knew what I know, but perhaps it’s better I don’t]

Fragment2: I see the beach, initially I want to go for a swim, but the waves are quite big so I decide against it. My mom is also there.

Fragment3: Looking for a place to hide from two DC women. This is some kind of back stage for something like a theatre, I hope they won’t be looking for me there.

Fragment4: Some posts on DV.

Fragment5: We ran out of toilet paper.



I try WBTB. This time I tell myself, I would be less sleepy and more concentrated. I spend some time in bed awake, concentrating on my body and some sounds from the neighbors, then I quickly transition into the dream.

Dream6[Low Quality Lucid]: I find myself in a familiar room, something like my boyfriend is also there. I know that I am dreaming and I do not bother to RC. I am absolutely passive, just being in the room, I feel as if I am drunk, so heavy. I am sitting on a chair doing absolutely nothing, noticing my behaviour and somewhat annoyed of this but also so tired. This DC is sitting next to me. I take some time to examine him, he looks a lot like my boyfriend, yet I know that’s not him. I find him rather unpleasant. Everything is so stable, and I feel as if I have been sitting there forever, exchanging some random thoughts with this fake bf. I tell him that this is a dream, and he repeats a few times “lucid dreaming”, that’s the only thing that amuses me. I don’t like being there at all…

Dream7, DEILD: I awake for a short while, rather unconscious, open my eyes, rollover and then I enter the dream again. I am thinking “Oh, I DEILDed”, but I really did not mean to do that. I find it strange that I am still there. I feel so tired. I finally remember that what I want to do is change the scene, just imagine a scene, I remind myself. Nope, does not work. Then I see some kind of a poster with some beach and palms and try to concentrate on it… The dream does not fade...memory gap, I think I fall into unconsciousness again...



Dream8: I am with my parents, in some a tourist village near the sea. I want to buy something, so we are looking for the right store. Then I check what money I have with me, I have stamps, which are some kind of certificate serving as money? By the time we get to the store, all the shops are closed. I don’t care that much, but my parents are disappointed that I couldn’t buy anything.

Total sleep time: 6+hrs

Dream recall method: key words;

Other: Weekends can be so loud, tried WBTB but woke up bf instead and he began walking around. To make it worse neighbours contributed with lots of noise, waking me abruptly, my last dream memory was completely erased.

HH: the melody of my toy when I was very young

Dream1: I was talking to a friend of my mom and her son. We then together dye eggs. I am supposed to help them, but I do it wrong. They tell me you have to put the eggs in boiling oil otherwise the paint won’t hold. What? Her son, who is about my age, comes to me and starts caressing my shoulder or something like that. I am not very at ease with this, although the feeling is nice. This is a somewhat awkward moment, I don’t look at him but instead try to think of a question to ask him to stop him from being so close to me, and his mom is watching this. This feels weird.

Dream2: was in deep sleep (3:00-3:30 hrs after falling asleep); some very enjoyable dream, but have no memory at all; just a feeling of happy elation

Dream3: Out of the darkness, I see some kind of music clip that begins to play, the sound is everywhere. It is a very pleasant music, relaxing, resonating everywhere. The video is very appealing to me as well, some wise Indian men in their city, their daily life, the camera travels in the city. I like it a lot, watching the video and listening to this nice music.

Then, I become part of the video and it is a tour of Honk Kong now, I see the skyscrapers. I am in some kind of bus and the inspector comes for my ticket. I start looking for it, but it is not in my pocket. While I do that some things of mine fall on the floor, the inspector picks them up. I finally find some kind of ticket and show him, he smiles and goes on his way.



[This is the closest style to the music I heard, the melody was different]

Fragment3: My dad was angry about something…My parents are there, I tell them I want to buy two plates for myself, very beautiful ones, but as I point them out the plates change shape and become bowls…My parents say no…I am disappointed.

During day: (RCs + DS)x10

Total Sleep Time: 7 hrs

Dream recall method: D1-D4 – keywords in notepad; tried to recall D3-D4 somewhat when going back to bed; D5 –straight to tablet after final wake

Dream1: I am back to our first home and live with my parents again. It is late night and I just came back from somewhere. A former classmate has organized a meeting at 12:10 (evening), so I want to go there. I tell my mom that I am going out, although I know she won’t let me. She doesn’t say anything and I take this opportunity to leave as fast as possible. But instead of that, I start preparing to go out and it takes me a very long time, I go to the restroom two times, and it’s 12:50 already. I finally leave and hope that my friends are still there. They are meeting in some kind of a bar where they serve sea food. I head in the direction of the place and try to call the organizer of the event.

Dream2: I am in our first home again, this time in my room. It is dark outside, a few lights are on. I am in the bed with Cal Lightman. He looks terrific, there is not a single wrinkle on his face, a perfect radiant complexion. I feel attracted to him. Since the light is on, the neighbours can actually see me, so I go to the window to block the view of whatever may take place in my room. I can see that there is someone in the nearby building that may actually be watching, so I try to adjust the curtains. That’s not easy at all because the curtain is constantly changing and does not cover the entire window. Once I am satisfied with the result I go back to the bed to Cal, but he is not there anymore. I see an inflatable boat on the floor. It starts to self-inflate and I try to hold it back from expanding in the whole room.



Fragment3: I am in some kind of disco bar most likely with my boyfriend and some unknown DC friends. I start mixing the drinks. I order twice an “amaretto” drink which is more like an alcoholic chocolate mousse. I pay in banknotes that I lay on the table: 20, 10, 10. I have left 2x10 for me, which should be enough to cover another round.

Dream4: In some house with my bf. My mom is there as well. The agreement was that I can sleep over in my bf’s place, but instead I change my mind and decide to spend the night at my parents’ place. My bf is somewhat disappointed but I tell him I will come by in the next few days.

I am in a large building that has been made to accommodate a museum. I am wondering which floor to go to. I see a large painting on the wall and the signature of the artist or some kind of title. I read it out loud. My mom corrects me and pronounces it with two different accents “Exhibition of the composiccion”??? [end]

The alarm wakes me up, 1 hour before my final desired wake time. I visit the restroom, note key words, and have an average desire to lucid. I go back to bed, trying to review the last dream but I fall asleep.

Dream5 [DILD, ToTM]: I am in my old place and am looking through the window. I see some guys carrying a strangely shaped case, I am almost sure that there is some kind of weapon in there. I look back to inside of the room and suddenly become lucid. My bf is sitting on the bed behind me, but I pay no attention to him. I feel a bit as if everything is submerged in invisible water. I look to what is in front of me and a small dog appears in the room. It looks like pug breed type and it moves around really fast. I find it hard to follow it with my gaze. It transforms and is now another kind of puppy with brownish fur. I remember I should try to interact with the dream, grab something, so I grab the puppy and caress it a bit. Then I remember that I have to eat something for ToTM. [IRL I thought it would be easier to lick something, but completely forgot it in the dream] I look at the puppy, which is quickly transformed into some strange kind of meat left-over, and I wonder if I should eat the puppy? No way I eat that puppy, or whatever it is now! I get slightly distracted as next to the ex-puppy leftover is some wool thread and I have a strong desire to thought-lift and make it twirl around. I focus my eyes on it and try to move it, but I feel some resistance. I manage to move it a bit but not the way I wanted, I give up.

Still with the eating ToTM in mind, I look frantically around, I need to find something to eat and think of going in the kitchen to look for something. At that point I turn around and I see my bf eating bread. I think, bread ? Too plain, but whatever! He holds the very last piece in his hand. I tell him not to eat it. He mouth-feeds me the piece of soft white bread and I chew it slowly. It tastes like bread. I become very suspicious because of the intensity of the flavour and start thinking that while I am dreaming, my real boyfriend could really be feeding me with some bread and laughing at me. I ask my dream boyfriend if that is the case, but he denies.



Since I am still not awake I decide to do the only other thing I remember – try chanting Om. I go into another room, this is a completely different place now. I am by myself here, there is something wooden and green maybe the window frames, 2 lamps hang as low as my chest. I try to chant omm, but some shriek-like sound comes instead. I feel like this is not going to work. I hear another sound and then see the door to the apartment moving by itself and banging as if moved by the wind. Perhaps I should close it? But then my expectations start to build and I know something or someone is behind the door. Some DC quickly enters through the door, initially the shape of my bf, but it is not him. I don’t want to have another chase ruin the LD, so I try not to pay too much attention to him. At that moment 5-6 DCs enter, behaving a bit menacing they are walking towards me. I try to change my expectations and their reactions. They kind of slow down a bit and are somewhat more manageable so I am pretty happy with that.

I walk out of the apartment, through the door and find myself into something like mall or maybe inside a big store. I see a section where they sell semi-precious stones, some one-piece bracelets made of stone, like jade. I really like what I am seeing. I am starting to lose control over my own actions, perhaps being too happy with the dream. The DCs are following me now as I make a few steps while staring at the precious stones section. My subconscious turns on the music and I start singing a song cabaret style “Lucidity, the dream is fixed, lucidity” and joyfully march a few more steps. [end]

The dream collapses and I find myself in darkness, closed eyelids. I remain still and try to DEILD but can’t reconnect. I begin to feel sleepy so I decide to wake up before I forget everything. The dream memory feels more evasive that usual and I barely manage to hold on to it.

Final notes:I am confirming the best time for my DILDs so far is the last hour before final wake (with 7-8hrs sleep). Today I allowed myself an hour sleep to possibly LD instead of my somewhat successful snooze DILD experiments.

Another thing I find important to note is stabilization. My DILDs last long enough and there is really no need for me to rush like a crazy monkey, compromising dream stability and later recall. Next time: take it slow!