LukeSid

Ed, you old dog you!...my first full sexual encounter and at the seaside! Talking to your brain clearly works..although I didn't ask for this to be honest...

Nil points for my chat up line...basically, it seemed to be "what do you reckon?" The first recipient of my deathless prose was a large woman who seemed to have piercings. She apparently didn't reckon and became very loud and angry in her objections..a relief really because piercings are definitely not my thing.

The next lady certainly seemed to reckon and we peeled away in search of a suitably secluded area...down a dark alleyway, sharp turn right and up a bit to a grassy knoll...hold on...weren't we on a pier? We immediately got down to it...foreplay was clearly in line with my seduction techniques...non-existent. Then I made the mistake of looking down...

My member had full marks for length, but it was like a thin black tube. Presumably, as with hands, the brain just doesn't do any extremities very accurately (particularly length). The sex was disappointing...but then I've read that somewhere before. Don't take offence Ed, it's not your fault...you just need to get out more.

Then, as often happens in my dreams, I'm suddenly somewhere else and trying to get back to where I was before. (major D/S i.e. searching, lost, looking for something...then, aren't we all?) It should have been easy... down the alley, sharp right and up a bit but no...the scenery shifters have clearly been hard at work.

The rest of my dream involves me wandering aimlessly about. There are now multiple hillocks with trysting lovers atop...how does a pier hold all that dirt and grass? Finally I get to what I think was my grassy hillock and I peer upwards...but there seems to be a party going on up there...and I woke up

I'm not making this up...it was a clear dream (A good sign for me because it represents a step in the right direction.) I'm not that disappointed in the poor quality of the sex because I just know I'd get hooked and I have other priorities...and once again, thanks Ed you're a diamond and I'm glad I'm coupled-up to you...in the platonic sense of course...