rshort1202

I’m in what feels like a casino restaurant. There are some others here, family?, and we’re eating what seems like dinner. The meal, every part of it - spaghetti, sausage, and something else - is delicious. I think we’re done now and get up. Nat, Kass, and Rob are here in the kitchen? We learn that they are the ones who have cooked this, each responsible for a different portion.

I think I am at Aly and Adam’s place (not at all what it really looks like). This place seems like it’s far away from any others. It’s a modest house with a modest but nice yard. It seems like this is a get together with the family. We pass through the house and into the yard (which is maybe the size of the warehouse at work or maybe a little bigger). After a moment, I notice that the yard is completely enclosed with a white tent structure that comes off the roof of the house at the one end and has its own wall at the other. It seems dark out but it’s fairly illuminated in here, with a subtle but cool effect. Cousin Jon is here; I give him a handshake and one armed hug. I think he lifts me off the ground a bit. I ask him how life has been. I think some people are kicking a soccer ball in here (it is all grass).



I’m lying in bed with Melissa in a completely unfamiliar room (it somehow reminds me of my bedroom at Dad’s, though I think it looks nothing like it). We cuddle facing each other; I notice a large black and yellow frog slowly making its way up the wall. I know my gaze is fixed on it, but I try to make no intimation that anything is there. I get up to try to catch it.



Zoe has sent an email that asks something like ‘Ryan? Is that lucid enough?’ It’s about how hot the store and warehouse get. I am going to research OSHA and other sources and put together a large reply.



I’m at what feels like work (though it looks nothing like it). There are radial stone steps outside of the front doors and a man sitting on them. I think we are currently closed. I go out and sit by him. I tell him “thank you for filling in for Bill (Kreutzman).” (This guy is not Jay Lane, however). He seems appreciative, and I continue talking with him.

I am inside some house with Dad’s side of the family. It seems like a get-together for either birthdays or a holiday. This house seems dim and sparsely furnished. I’m in a large living room with the cousins. We are making a race track? with boxes of games. I am mostly doing it - they’ve lined up the boxes, but I change them to lengthwise so they cover more ground. The boxes are serving as a wall or barrier, while the negative space on the carpet is the actual track. I’m not sure why they didn’t have the boxes lengthwise to begin with.

I am in what I think is a smaller climbing gym inside a shopping mall. I am going to climb, and I feel good, like I’ve been back in it or something. I notice one other guy, sort of larger guy with longer back hair. I think his shirt is off. I think his presence makes me self conscious. I am climbing but it is also like I am clocked in as security at JCPenney. I start moving quite a few shoe boxes that turn out to be empty. I can’t believe that many would be stolen. I have my radio on, and I’m getting called to do something. Entering the shopping mall, I am running. I clear a few longer steps quickly and then slow down self consciously. I think I am following the middle school boys (what stole watches and socks the other night). I enter another clothes store and am walking around inside when I notice their security or associate following someone. He simply asks the person if he is going to buy something. At this point, I think I’ve lost who I was following or they are no longer an issue. Now, I am in the shopping mall, probably in a little communal area, with some unfamiliar? others. They are asking me if I got dirty or something like that. I look at the back of the pant leg on my Levi’s (that looks like mine but a little darker and newer) and there is a little bit of caked on mud. I think I’ve just washed them though, as the rest of them look clean. I glance up and notice that everyone in my view is wearing blue jeans of the same darker blue jean blue. Now, I am in some dim amphitheater-like room. There are large steps of stone and pebble that descend and end at a very small pool. I am running down these steps as well (possibly in slow motion?) At the end, I jump into the circular pool. While in midair, I had humorously asked if there were rocks at the bottom of the pool (concerned about my landing and impact). This pool could probably only fit four people comfortably, and it is between warm and lukewarm. There is a baby (in a diaper, I think)and one other in this pool. Now, I am driving. It looks like S. Virginia under the overpass, right before McCarran. I see multiple people in the street in front of me. They’re walking this way. Slightly annoyed, I’m going to change lanes to go around them to the right. Before I can, they sort of separate to give me room to get through. I notice that they have brooms or mops, so I slow to a stop by them and crack my window. The guy wants to wash my car. I say no and gesture by waving my hand in front of my neck. When I start to drive away, I see the rest of the group on the side of the road to the right. They look very sketchy, like prison-hardened. This impression is based on their face, neck, hand, and everywhere else tattoos, clothing, and also the look in their eyes. I feel bad for saying no because I don’t want them to feel bad or like I’m judging them. As I am driving off, I look at my hood and see that it is a little dusty but not really dirty. I am now on a more rural/residential road. There is snow, only on the houses and yards and not on the road. The area seems somewhat lower income; the houses are smaller and just slightly dilapidated, but nice enough. They are spaced nicely apart. It is sort of like I don’t really know where I am but do know where I’m going (or vice versa?). I now pull into the driveway of a house. This house is definitely unfamiliar, but I am walking up to its door and I have pliers or some sort of tool in my hand. There was a walkway in front of the house, to the right of the garage, leading to the front door. I don’t know what lives here, but I am going to go in. I think I am about to use the pliers when I hear someone coming to open the door. I throw the pliers to the side lawn as the door is being opened. The door opens, revealing an old woman. I am hoping she doesn’t notice the pliers lying on the grass. I am going inside with her now, and it is like she knows me. Behind the door she let me through is a foyer/entryway type area that seems to be outside but covered. It sort of then blends into the inside. She starts talking to me, and I think she thinks I’m her grandkid. I’d feel bad if that was the circumstance, but it almost feels like I am her grandkid. There is an old man in here, sitting at a computer. He says hi to me like he knows me too. We talk a bit, and I then realize it is Opa. I notice his eyes, and I notice his voice is the same. He is wearing blue sweatpants and has his feet up on the swivel chair. His mannerisms are exactly the same. I am about to leave now, as I think there’s something I have to do (write down this dream?), when Granny?/Reta shows up. Now I am kind of stuck here. We all talk for a bit until I can sneak outside. I walk outside to my car blocked into the driveway and Makayla just getting here. I notice Dad’s truck. The right side of the driveway is a bit more open, but I don’t think I could get out. Jon shows up now, wearing a sun hat, shorts, and a button up short sleeve. We’re all inside, a gathering of everyone, and I think I’ll be here a while.

I have gone into a building for some sort of surprise party for me. It seems like a restaurant that has been reserved, just one big room. There is a man guiding proceedings as people show up. Melissa and Makayla are here, seated at the long, wood tables, their coats draped over the back of their chairs. Now, about ten people are here, and everything has been moved back against the walls. At the front of the room is a smaller wooden stage. It is very plain. Everyone stands in a circle in the floor space in front of it. I get the impression that we’re going to be running in a circle and jumping/doing tricks off the stage, but we don’t. I think we’ve been waiting for food too, but it never came. The group now moves down a hallway, and the place looks like an elementary school. I pass inlets in the wall that have some windows and rows of desks. There are pictures and things on the hallway walls that are all Hawaiian themed, i.e. Hawaiian history, that makes me think this may be in Hawaii. We end up in a computer lab and seated again. I think we’re waiting for food, and again it never comes. A guy with light brown skin comments that this event is only a few hours and ending soon, not giving us time for everything. In my head I envision a three hour block? starting at 7pm and us being a majority of the way through it. I now go over to a sink in a counter against the wall (like high school science classrooms). There is a chunk of ice protruding from it. The ice doesn’t seem solid, but more so shaved but still compacted together. I run some water over the section under the faucet, inciting it to start to melt. I think Bird Song is playing from my phone during this. It then occurs to me that I’m pretty sure that this is our food thawing out. This room has now transitioned into an unfamiliar kitchen in a house. It looks pretty nice and clean, marbled earth tone counters, stainless steel, and darker wood cabinets, I think. (As I write this, it reminds me of Scott and Kelly’s old kitchen). Renee and Kelly are here, one seated and one milling around, and they tell me happy birthday. Renee says she can now get me a glass of wine (as if it’s my 21st). I nicely say “Oh… you don’t have to”, but I’m willing to let her just to be polite. I start looking for white wine (as if it’s my place) and look all over but do not find any. I’m thinking that they might also want to have some. I end up in a different room of the same house, by Linda, who’s seated at a dark wood table. She starts asking about my favorite red wine, isn’t it a blend? I recall what she’s talking about, another get together/celebration where I had/brought different wines. I offer a non committal reply of either ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I don’t remember’. I think that if my favorite was a blend that it isn’t now. I see she has a personal bottle - the dark label says it’s a Lodi Zinfandel. She’s now asking didn’t I throw up at that event, but phrasing it more gently. Dad is here and inquiring the same thing. I again offer a dismissive reply, though I do remember throwing up then (*This event/scenario did not happen in real life). I pass some people what don’t have drinks and think that I should go to the store really quick for some wine. In another room now, there is a record playing on a smaller turntable on the brown-carpeted ground in the corner. The song sounds familiar. It then ends, and I go over to put it away, even though I think that was just side one. I think it’s the Cranberries or Zombies? (*Though I wake up with Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar stuck in my head). The cover is a dark green with the band name in large letters taking up a good amount of space. It’s at an angle. I think there’s a band photo on the back. I take the record off the platter; it’s a marbled dark green and very flimsy. I slip it into its anti-static sleeve. I now leave, driving to wherever I’m going. I end up at an elementary school that I think is right by another elementary school. I park and walk in the fairly large entry way. The foyer is filled with the black retractable crowd controllers that lead up to metal detectors. There’s a darker skinned younger lady at a counter beside the detectors. Two guys about my age are turning around willingly. I see they both are casually carrying handguns. One has slightly long and stringy dirty blond hair with a messy middle part and thin-rimmed glasses. I think his shirt is tucked, revealing a black holster on his belt. He is not attractive but not completely unattractive. He somehow seems genuine, yet aloof. He honestly looks the type to get unfairly made fun of. Seeing this causes me to pat my pockets. I feel some hard objects in the jean pockets, but nothing I’d get in trouble for. I continue on, past the metal detectors. The enormity of this place is revealed as I walk through this hallway. There is no way it can be a school it’s so big. I can’t see an end to the hallway. Besides the size, the appearance is not of a school either. Everything is ornate and looks more like an upscale shopping mall. The walls appear to be white marble or something similar, with subtle niches and rococo. There are vendor carts set up in the middle of the walkway as well. Even they seem classy and opulent. I think the places set into the walls are shops and restaurants. There are quite a few others walking through here. The place has now transitioned into outdoors. I am following a slight grassy ravine with surrounding grassy hills. There are smaller, wispy trees and grasses, all very green. There’s possibly a trickle of water running through here. Dad calls me now and asks where I went, his tone suggesting it rude that I just left. I tell him I’m picking something up from the store and will be right back. His tone then changes as he tells me that there’s some light or other activity going on in the night sky. I look up and can see it. I’m not sure if it’s exactly what he’s referencing, but I see brighter circles of light that are close together and moving. There’s also a splotch of a green hue higher up in the sky. I also notice the Milky Way, probably the densest I have ever seen it appear, and it is absolutely awe inspiring. I have to spend a few moments just staring. It’s so bright that it seems to illuminate the night sky. It’s also currently parallel with this ravine. Off to the right, there’s a group or two of people sitting on a taller hill, also looking to the sky. I start walking back now, and it’s daylight again. Dad is with me. I think a dog is with us as well, because I throw a toy. The toy hits and knocks over a small statue of a boy on a slightly overgrown pedestal. The 1-2 foot tall statue was in a row of other statue children, all in antiquated clothing.

I am seated in some restaurant at a longer table with some of the family. I look at the menu and the drink menu. A pudgy waiter comes over and takes Dad’s drink order. He then looks at me, but I haven’t decided yet. I ask if they have a porter or a stout. He says yes after I say ‘porter’ and then yes again to the stout. I ask for the stout. Dad, sitting across from me, has now done something that makes me extremely irritated. We have our food now, and I pick up my plate and beer and go sit at another table. I position myself so I’m mostly facing away from the other table. I can see Uncle Scott though, and he looks frustrated (possibly at me).




I am outside with some others, walking through a rocky crevasse. You can tell that it’s been developed for climbing, and someone points this out. We now come to a spot that looks like it has not been developed. There is also a grey boulder that is maybe the size of a car, but disc shaped and levitating. There are thin branches or vines hanging from it, and I’m not sure how you’re supposed to climb it. There also seems to be some kind of energy force around the boulder. I walk under it and let myself fall backwards. The force supports me and slightly moves me. Now, it feels as if this must’ve been something I was reading, as I am closing a thin paperback. It was the end, and I know there is more, but I can’t find the sequel as I sort through books on a shelf.

I am driving with Makayla and have parked in some small, exposed, and slightly elevated lot. The low walls around are tan and look to be adobe or stucco. I am going to go into a store while she waits in the car. This ‘store’ looks antiquated and like it’s from a different country. It’s made of the same material. It has dirt floors and apparently not much else. I am carrying some sort of red, woven material that folds like a windshield sun screen. It seems worn and is slightly torn in the middle. I think I’ll pick up a case of beer while I’m here. I have now ended up out on the street. It’s busier out here and looks like it might be India. I’m looking for somewhere and can’t find it, when I run into Aly. We look at the map on my phone as she tells me directions. It’s right by where I came from, so I’m not sure how I missed it. This area and its few buildings are built into a slight hill. There’s also a fairly large river running besides and under the streets. Brenton is swimming in it. I think Kassidy is here too. I get into the river too. It is wide and seems very deep. It is not exactly clear, but it doesn’t feel or look dirty. It has a fairly strong current and only a few inches between it and the road it flows under. Brenton easily flows with it, but when I get in, the current and small space to pass through almost catch me off guard. I then relax and start floating. The underside of the road looks more like a small cavern. I am now on the other side and start climbing up a dark stone carving of a gargoyle I think. It’s sloped, but I manage to hang on. I then jump off and bounce on the water a few times and never actually go under. Kat comments on it from above.

I am at Matt and Sara’s house (not sure if it really looks like it). It is pretty dim in here and dark outside. There is a natural disaster occurring; I see a red glow outside. What I’m fairly certain is lava is coming up through the floor. It seems to be coming in through almost every side, but I am able to escape. Outside is almost no better; lava is flowing down the street towards me. I narrowly avoid it. I think Matt, Sara, and Makayla were still in the house, and I hope they’re okay. I am walking away, trying to distance myself from the lava/fire, when I call Dad. I tell him I’m headed a certain direction, to which he tells me angrily that is the wrong way to go. I guess it is worse that way. I get slightly angry at his quickness to anger, like he doesn’t trust my autonomy. With a slight bite to my voice, I tell him I’m fine and safe. I try to call Melissa and Makayla, with no answer. I end up in a Qdoba or something similar. Kenny is working here (he looks younger and older at the same time. I think he has a small mustache). I’m not sure if he recognizes me as I approach the counter. I think I ask what comes on something, and he says he’ll tell me when I pick something. I chose a taco, and he tells me what’s on it. One of the ingredients is bacon. I tell him that’s all okay. I then ask for just a medium sized drink. He moves to the register (to my right) and rings everything up. The total ($8) appears and then goes down, before disappearing completely. I didn’t mind paying and didn’t expect this, but Kenny just chuckles. I go for a fist bump, but he goes to shake it. I go to fill the pretty large plastic cup. I think I end up contacting everyone and finding out that they’re okay.



I am going somewhere with Melissa and her mom and dad. I’m driving Melissa, following her dad. It looks like we’re in a fairly large city, though the roads are not too bad. I am following a map and turn where it says to, though Carlos has gone straight. The turn does seem kind of wrong. Immediately, Carlos calls and tells me he knows what the map says, but to not go that way. I start turning around. We end up parking outside of some buildings. They are tall, with a gently sloping grassy area with a paved walkway nestled amongst them. There is a car parked so close to two low rock walls I don’t even know how it fit. We don’t see Carlos’ car, but we know this is the place, so we get out and start to look for them. We spot them walking through a sort of very small outdoor plaza that mostly looks like a patio. I also see Sage’s mom sitting out here. I’m wondering if she’ll see me. I must also see Granny, because I message Sage, saying how I saw my mom’s mom with her mom. I am now sitting on the cement with Carlos and Melissa. We are packing for a trip, but we are packing sausages? They are little pieces in what looks like an ice tray. Carlos breaks them out and puts them nicely in a small but long black bag. After a while, I start helping. We had them in nice rows, but those start to fall apart. There’s also some loose rice in the bag. Melissa starts putting small pieces of white cheese in the bag, before her dad says she doesn’t need to. I want some though, so I keep putting a few pieces in. We are packing for a lot of people - 60? I’m holding a Ziploc that has two plastic containers in it. I think they are full of water, so I add water to one. I am then under the impression that they are sunscreen, so I feel bad for messing it up. Melissa then tells me it is only water. We are now in a small, cement corner type area. There’s a Deadpool movie theater cardboard cut-out. We hold it up because we think Carlos will like it. Some others show up, about 3-4 guys and girls probably in their mid 20s. They start climbing up this large cut-out. I spot them. One of the guys drops down, bending his legs completely and bringing his whole body down to absorb the impact. There are holes in it, which is what they’re using to climb it. One of the girls is getting mad at them for doing it. This only provokes me. Dressed like Spiderman? I start climbing it. I initially pull myself up with just one finger in a hole at the top of my reach. I climb further than the others did. I start to swing out, a seemingly tense moment for everyone, but my feet land on a brick wall, on which I just barely balance and stand on. I then grasp it and lower myself down first before jumping the rest of the way to the ground. I think I was talking to the girl through all of this. The other say I just completely destroyed her (because she thought we shouldn’t be doing this?). I’m thinking I should’ve done a backflip at the end.



I’m in a high school gym with Melissa. Something is going on; the bleachers are fairly full. We slow and look for a space to sit. There’s an empty row at the top, which we take. People are throwing a ball around, up and down the bleachers. We end up with all of our clothes off, but covering ourselves partially with a blanket.



Melissa and I are staying at my grandma's house. Our bed is not even in a bedroom, just out in the open. I think we have been or are having sex. I hope we haven’t been too loud.

I am buying something at Total Wine (It looks different. As I write this I realize it looks long and dim, like Moose McGillycuddy’s from last night. The lady behind the counter also looks like the lady who was behind the bar - sort of heavyset but not chunky, with thicker, dark hair). The lady looks at my ID and asks if I’m 21. I tell her ‘yeah’, the intonation being one of ‘yeah, I know I still am’ in a slightly playful way. She, upon this confirmation, goes to get something. She comes back with a Dr. Pepper can that has an incision almost all the way around the rim and places it on the darker wood counter. After she give me a ping pong ball, I remove the top section of the can and proceed to toss the ball into it on my first attempt. Now there is a small fruit (looks like a cantaloupe, but much smaller and egg shaped) that is hollowed out, with the top sliced off, so it is like a cup. I go to throw the ball into it, but it bounces off the rim.


I am inside of a room. It is larger and square. It seems to be darker wood and empty. The wall closest to the entrance (to its right) has a counter where food is served. There is a line, wrapping counter clockwise around the room. Everyone in line seems to be familiar. Nelson and Crozby's dad is here with the both of them. Crozby is being grumpy or something, so I playfully wing and hit her with a bag of bagels or bread. Their dad is telling me that they have to leave soon [something :08] to go to Vegas to see a fight. That is fairly soon - about an hour? and seems like a short time to do what we’re doing here. I think it also takes them a while to get there, which makes sense because they have kids. I now go to the bathroom that is here. It seems like a house’s bathroom (I’m thinking it’s Brian’s house?) I wipe some wet spot off the floor, partially because I am thinking it may be his bathroom. I come back out and am on my way back to my spot when I see Adam is here with a bunch of baby chicks and one protective mother. They’re on the ground, grouped around the mother. I think there are 13 total. Now I place my order and look to Melissa so she can to. The cahier starts talking though, and sys that Melissa reminds her of her ‘pop’. I look over and Melissa has started crying. She puts her head on my shoulder and I hug and comfort her. She raises her head, and I see she’s pulled her grey hood over her face and drawn it tight. I think it’s a little childish and silly and don’t think she should even be upset, but still sympathize and am sad that she is. Later, I am driving and take a snapchat of the road. It’s going to be for her and I’m going to add text that says sometimes people just see certain similarities and it doesn’t necessarily mean you look like that person. I don’t think I finish typing it [it feels like I wake up during this part].

I have driven out to Kelli and Carl’s. It looks like nobody is home, but I also knock on the door. Nobody answer, so I go in. I call out ‘hello’ and get no answer, but I round a corner and see Carl. i continue into the room (doesn’t really look like their house) and Kelli and another girl on a black couch come into view. They’re watching something on the larger TV that is loud and probably why they didn’t hear me. I give Carl a hug and then a handshake. He offers me a margarita (I see one out - it’s in a green can that’s fairly tall: a Lime-a-Rita?) and I pause and think briefly before accepting. He goes to get one and chuckles, saying maybe I can have another or more and stay here. I am now on the couch and watching this movie with them. I am pretty sure the girl on the couch is Kelli Ann. I am not sure which can on the square coffee table is mine, but I feel pretty safe picking up the heaviest one. This film seems to be in the opening sequence - short clips of sea animals and people? with cool color tones and drab music, if any at all. Scenes keep repeating, so much so that we think there is something going wrong. After a repetition, however, there is new content, so we realize this was a purposeful stylization. I think about how that is very dream-like.

I am outside somewhere that looks very familiar - very similar to Frenchmans. There are three lines of people, with about 20 or less in the largest line. I get into the ‘Lovebug’ line and none of the people my age in it look familiar. Someone clarifies that we have ‘moved up’ to Fireflies, so I move over. The lines now proceed up a moderate hill on an old, overgrown dirt road. I am wearing pants and long socks. The socks are kind of annoying on my ankles and the pants are hot and not giving me as much flexibility as I’d like. Someone walking with me makes a comment about them taking us on a strenuous walk. I don’t think it’s bad, but as I look at the incline and overgrowth, I could see how it would be for someone not used to it. We’re now reaching a crest in the hill and a building up here. I end up in this building - a bar and grill or something - with Dad. We’re seated at a table close to the corner and the bar, and we’re going to try a beer here. A lady comes over, I think we need a little longer, then it takes a while for her to come back. Looking out the window, I think about how there’s still a little ways to go. I am now back outside and walking. I’m with Jon, and we’re on more flat but forested terrain. It is greener and almost more inviting. The air is cooler and it is more dim and not as exposed. There is also a small river up here. I think there may also be a house, as Jon is saying and keeps saying something about ‘Jim’. He also keeps saying something about a spider (the image in my head is a large, black one, maybe a black widow). There are multiple wooden bridges across this river as we move onward. They are dark wood pieces placed parallel with the river, creating a flat bridge with supports every few pieces. When I watch Jon walk over some of them, the pieces move, swiveling, like a bead on a necklace. He’s been fine so far, but when he jumps onto one of the bridges, quite a ways from the bank, the pieces give way, causing his legs to slip through and him to be caught on one of the supports. He does have a grasp, but appears mostly stuck. I end up by him (in the water?) and am going to help him up. He places a small, circular, water-logged piece of meat onto the wood and then proceeds to clamber out of the water that seems turgid and turbulent yet somehow still.


I am outside somewhere that seems like a college campus or some other communal area. It seems slightly dim out. I have a pack of cigarettes and am smoking one. Others here are doing the same. I hold it between my middle and index fingers, noticing that everyone else does too. I think Niki is here. This carton is overly large and light blue. The inside slides open, revealing the cigarettes that also seem too large and like they’re made of plastic. I smoke one down, self conscious of my aggressive in and exhales, and want another, ashamedly. I think I smoked it too far? and it felt like the soft plastic piece sort of broke off when I got to the end. I think I now go somewhere with Niki - though it feels not as if we’re going together - but simply to the same place at the same time. Chelsea is here. It is brought up how she’s all but kicked a heroin habit, but is about to take it up again. We try to dissuade her, but she is blank, resolute, inconsolable. It is brought up where she would find the substance, and they say you need only follow this street. My gaze follows it down. It’s well known that it’s not the best place, and must be known for a prevalence of the drug. I think it’s residential, though it seems dirty and desolate out here.


I am outside and moving through some dirt trail between houses in a fairly rural neighborhood (almost like Dad’s). It seems I cover a lot of ground too quickly, almost like I’m watching it happen, instead of actually walking or running. I come to a straight-away that ends in a left turn that dead ends at the side of a house. On top of the path is a dilapidated train track. It follows the straight-away but is a few feet/a body’s height off the ground when it rounds the corner. I wonder how I am going to move along this, as it twists right before the house and may be incomplete in a section. The wall that the track runs into is a neutral color (light blue/grey?) and is slightly aged and worn and bare except for one large window. Through the window I see a partially drawn curtain and two chairs. I can hear people moving about talking inside, and these people are moving out of this house. It’ already pretty bare, but I start moving cups and other everyday items off a shelf. I think the people here don’t know that I am here? I now start moving stacks of DVDs (the ones we have at Mom’s, I’m pretty sure).



Analysis:

Later today, I go on a walk with Mom, on which we seem to come to some realizations about the first and third dreams from last night. What prompts these realizations is the sighting of a small bridge being constructed in a front yard. I find this significant, as the bridge as of yet only consists of the support pieces. I liken this to the recounting of my dream bridge and its support pieces and other swiveling pieces. I tell Mom that this dream involved multiple bridges over water and Jon jumping onto one, only to become stuck and in need of my assistance. I find it necessary to detail the background to this dream having any significance, that being me viewing the movie Hereditary on Saturday night and consequently contemplating a séance of my own with a plausible intention being contact with Opa. mom and I agree on the bridges, water, Jon, and my helping Jon all being symbolic in strict relation to Opa and his passing. Mom is the one what mentions that Jon was the one not present and therefore behind in coping with the situation. I seem to be helping Jon in this process and to me it seems to be because of my recent inclinations towards the idea of performing a séance to contact Opa. i believe the bridges are direct symbols of the ‘bridge’ to the ‘other side’. As I write this I begin to experience chills when contemplating the ‘turgid and turbulent yet somehow still” water, probably because it represents what the symbolic bridge physically bridges. Is probably significant that Jon surmounts the bridge. I am unsure of the piece of meat, as well as any meanings ‘Jim’s house’. During a pause in writing this, currently being unsure of the presence of ‘Jim’ and the spider, I go to the garage. Kneeling down by the fridge (which is right where the Black Widow used to be) I get a pre-recorded phone call in which the voice tells me his name is Jim. i immediately think it’s odd that it’s a Jim, but it isn’t until I’m recounting to Mom that I got a phone call from a Jim that it hits me that it was right by where we had the black widow, the one from the dream. Later on, still unfinished with this analysis, I text Kat telling her briefly what happened and asking if she’s had anything happen that has to do with Opa. She tells me a little while ago she had a dream of him in a silver Subaru, then she mentions how he is probably wishing he could’ve been at the graduation. It then hits me that the very beginning of the dream is probably a representation of the graduation. In it, I say ‘moved up’, which directly relates to Opa, while the whole scene can stand for Makayla’s graduation. As of now, it seems that the annoyance of my long socks and pants is the only part without apparent symbolism. As Mom and I started discussing the bridges, I realized that the train track in the third dream bears much resemblance to this image of a track or some sort of conveyance with missing or otherwise inoperable pieces. I believe this represents the contact or attempt at contact with Opa. The train tracks are an overt reference to Opa’s involvement with the V&T as well as a visual metaphor. The neighborhood is significant as well. I also feel that the tracks dead-ending in the house seems to be significant, as the house is another symbol for Opa or for the ‘other side’. The window conveys pretty much the same meaning, and the two empty chairs do not feel arbitrary. Mom mentions the two chairs that were always in Opa and Oma’s living room, and though that is true, the chairs in this dream were wooden and straight-backed, facing each other slightly, seemingly symbolizing conversation. I think it is symbolic that I never really see the people but only hear them (an image of the ‘spirit world’ or the impression of people contacting it) and also that they are moving out of this house. After all of this, I am left with the feeling that these dreams did not by chance occur so noteworthy and significant-seeming directly after my inclination towards conducting a seance. I with impressed with their impression, considering my lack of detailed dreams for quite a while, and believe that alone makes them significant. And then the sighting of the partially constructed bridge was the conduit for the deeper, real meaning. Every association produced varying levels of chills, which is enough for me to know that I have found the dream’s real ‘meaning’. I believe the dreams were some spiritual connection to Opa or an affirmation towards the idea of contact, with the same feeling of knowing I had about the dream in which he came into Starbucks when I was working, though not quite as understated.

(fragment) I am somewhere with the cousins. It seems we are at a round table that is set with a white table cloth, yet are still trying to get into this place (somewhere in a large feeling casino?) There is a large cover charge that everyone starts pitching in cash for, almost begrudgingly it looks. I can't tell if their expression is betraying this emotion or that they've already had a little to drink. There is now $11 still owed, so I pull out a white credit card and hand it to the short and rotund woman with bushy brown hair, telling her to put the remaining $11 on it. She walks away with it and another card, as well as the small stack of cash.

I am driving my Subaru on what feels like a Californian freeway. The lanes seem small, as well as the freeway itself. It may be only a few lanes wide. There are also other, similar freeways traveling in all directions around this one. The resulting surrounding is one of complexity and crowdedness, as well as one of depth - a literal spaghetti bowl of freeway. I am down towards the bottom, where a portion of the sunlight cannot reach. Outside my window, there is a view of the complex concrete in dim lighting that I think would constitute an intriguing and captivating photograph. The proximity and near standstill of traffic allows me to hear a woman in a car somewhere above me cough. Now, as I drive up a slight incline, I realize that my car is not even started. There are no lights on on the display. I turn the key to start it, but it only chokes. Still, the car is accelerating and braking, albeit less than in a fully functioning manner; stepping forcefully on the accelerators seems to give the car less power than it has while climbing a steep hill. I've now parked somewhere out here (there seems to be nothing else around) and watch a few people walk by. I must've stopped to try and resolve my vehicle issue, as I spot a couple standing around that I decide to approach for assistance. The man is perhaps in his late 20s or early 30s, wearing a sleeveless tank top that contributes to his stereotypically redneck appearance. He is accompanied by a cliché blonde girlfriend. I approach and relay my situation, asking if he can help, saying I have my own jumper cables. He coolly and impassively tells me he can help, telling me he too has his own cables, instructing me to bring my car around. I am grateful, though I hadn't expected a decline, as it really is quick and isn't a major inconvenience. Ignoring his unnecessary addition about his own cables, I go to get my vehicle. As I drive back, I am unable to find the man again. There are three tiny and partially filled parking lots on this uneven terrain, and I drive through all of them to no avail.

I am in some building with the cousins. This place feels like an arcade or some type of attraction. It is large, dim, and airy. We pass through a large something that seems like a bounce house when I realize they have left me behind. It produces a bitter sadness, neither of the two components outweighing the other, the combination resulting in an ambivalent resolution. I think I end up talking with some others, though not entirely in an attempt to fill the transient void. Now, I am crawling out of an entrance to this structure. The material does not give like inflated vinyl should - it is hard and slick. There is a small wall on which one must down climb, and this is a sort of game. There is something similar to a jump rope that the climber draws taut across their body, resulting in the removal of their body below that line. The climber must then attempt to climb up/down. I position this rope to have it cut my legs off first, wanting to save my arms. After the line is positioned, the inferior body parts then dissipate, like the common conception of something disappearing by magic.

(fragment) I am in an opulent house, in which there is a room occupying a large corner. There may or may not be a bath tub. There is a bed, with sheets of white and very light hues. The space is very minimal, aiding in its elegance. I think that I am staying here and that this is my room. I think I am showing it to my girlfriend Melissa. It feels like this is downstairs.