lucid

Self Esteem

We were skating around some strange place with my friends. There has been a giant recent loss in self esteem for some reason in the whole world. Me and the guys decide to hang out in someone's house which I remember as being pretty well furnished. Since I was the most confident in the group, I had to go get the snacks. Everything is kinda dirty on the way out, I arrive at this guys store. He's a fat middle euro guy behind a glass kind of shield. Asks me what I want and the first thing that I ask for doesn't need to be paid for so then he spends a long time complaining about how I never pay for anything but then I remember that I have to get snacks so I get a shit ton of candy bars and two giant bags of mini resee's and then I poke fun at him "I never buy anything?" we joke and laugh and on the tv a news story comes on about the crisis in the world's loss of self esteem. I found it upon myself that I had to be a hero for the world and have more self esteem than everyone else and somehow save the day.

Rock Fights and Boarding

Was with my mom outside what kinda reminded me of a place near my house. she gets really mad at me so I have to follow her to figure it out. I get on my knees slowly and try to explain my recent anger. She silently brings me on this double decker coach bus which was the local transit in the dream the bus drive is mad at us fr talking forever but the new money system was hard to figure out. the door finally goes through and we go to the mall which is much more grandiose and modern looking than it already is. She walks me to rainforest cafe, all the time I was asking, with no reply what she as doing. So I guess we're gonna have a talk here. Some reason I leave, find the car and drive it back to another neighborhood. I go back to my house, which now i so a really steep hill. There is a strange knife fighting asian guy who wants to kill me. We fight for a while, swing our knives at each other, dealing out heavy blows. I have a "hunting rock" which I know with three good blows to the head will kill hi. Instead I keep aiming for his ribs...i don't want to kill him. I've hit him twice on the head and multiple times in the ribs. I hit him again in the ribs and can hear his ribs crack. He chokes up blood and goes limp. I back up a little and he jumps out. He was only pretending. He comes at me and something in my mind changes the dream is flickering and I was half waking up. I realized that I was dreaming and became lucid. Something about this lucidity was really weird though. The dream was still flickering and fading and I was still slightly waking up but I didn't try to stabilize the dream. He hit me over the head with something and I acknowledged the pain and then ignored it. I give him one more great hit in the ribs. he's done. I think his father was around to pick him up and go. I forget it's a dream...I get out of the house and the down hill looks really good as a long-boading thing. The hill is really traffic-y and cars are going down really fast in waves toward this tol booth thing. I see that my longboard is down there leaning on a tree, when I get back there I realize tha I left something up at the house, I start walking back tot he house but decide I don't need it, look back and my longboard is gone. I freak out for a long time but then my mom drives by and gives me a backpack with my longboard. its some move of reconciliation from an earlier fight. I go down the hill boarding

Herpes

. I'm with this one black girl that I've met, kinda chunky but I'm still diggin her. We back into an alley way get out of the car and into this door. We were in there for a long time and through a window I can see my car. While we're talking I see that a bunch of cars are trying to pass mine but they just stop. They're trying to pass it on both sides but my car is blocking them. I forget it and start making out with the girl in her room (which is a replica of my room). We really start going at it and were both shirtless and kissing all over. Before I take off her underwear I ask if she has herpes and she barely answers and I assume she does and I ask if she's having an outbreak, she says yes pulls down her pants and shows me it. I say I can't do it and go to get dressed. She's noticeably frustrated and angry as I walk around the room and pick up my clothes and put them on. She pulls up her pants while lying on the bed being all pissy. It was weird because there was one second where I looked at her and she was 10 times hotter than before, then it was back to normal. She wasn't ugly, just average. I go outside of the room and see that my car windows have been smashed and the whole car was stripped and pushed to the side so that people could get through. The car weakly starts on the second try but can't stay in park and the emergency break barely works. As I get back out of the car and then back into the house, I can hear her frustrated screams from inside "I get half way 3 times a week but I can't get fucked!!?" I cautiously go back inside telling her about my car and she's mad at me and tells me she can't deal with it now. I accidentally go into another room (which would've been my mom's room) but it was where her dad was sleeping. Also, I could hear one of her parents with the tv on the whole time before this but that was no big deal. The dad, with messy covers drawn over him in the dim room looks at me and says "oh its you, the [something wispy like smoke I think]" I say I am not one of those and try to head back to my car, I want to turn back and say that I lived here before they did but I don't...

I'm back...I have a yearlong journal in the grandfathered section and my resolution in new years was to do another year long one straight.

Mummy in the florida keys

It was like I was coming back to college ut instead, I was going to college in the swamp lands of florida. It was weird because I would frequently see an aerial view of the neighborhood I was living in when talking about it. I spent most of my time in the airport with other kids who were going to do the same program that I was in. When I got t the the airport, I first met one girl, slightly chubby with blonde frizzy hair, who was going to my same program. Soon a lot of other kids started started gathering who were going to the same thing.

In the library (another section of the airport around the gate), there were many sets of shelves, one of them seemed to belong to me in a past experience with the program. My stuff was scattered to the ground and thrown all over the place. I was pretty mad and I was spending a lot of time trying to find a small paperback book with a blood red cover with a black boy on it. Instead, all the books that I could find were other paperbacks, most memorably, a Redwall book like the ones I used to read when I was younger. There were 2 black boys and one tan white girl, all about 16 standing around and chatting around my shelf. It was them who had messed up all of my stuff. I got really mad at them and punch one of them but then I cooled down. He was still really mad at me so I let him punch my arm a couple times until he cooled down too. Then I told them that there was gonna be a mummy where I was living. The girl was instantly interested and one of the boys, a shorter bald kid who kinda looked like an older version of the boy in Role Models said that because i was telling these interesting stories, the girl was gonna be in love with me. This was true and she wouldn't stop following me around.

the aerial view of the neighborhood that I was living in was interesting. It had a couple of houses painted in interesting tropical houses. A lot of the land was covered in water and the houses were mostly connected by dry sand patches in between the land. There was a bridge made of giant pink stones and covering it was a giant light house.

Dirty Train

This one was inspired by the movie metropia, an interesting movie but I was tired and fell asleep during it after I wrote the first half of this entry.

I was on this strange train thing but I was in this very big grungy kinda really dirty room. the room had a couple couches and a lot of young 20 something girls, mostly tanned white but some middle eastern, yes all pretty attractive, but meant to look like they had been working really hard. They were all rebels against their big brother of a government. We were getting into the station and they did this massive cleaning up of their room to hide all of their contraband for when the government worker would come in and inspect it. This was amazing because it featured a giant garage door esque thing that scraped across the floor and very thing that was beyond view kind of disappeared...i can't really describe it right now. So when the room (a room about 30'x30' or maybe a little bigger, metal walls floor and ceiling, was scraped clean we moved back in the couches and added some fold-able tables to fill the space. I was also walking around and I noticed that we had a window at the front of the cart so that we could look out at the tunnel that we were traveling down. I walked out of the giant room and down a hall toward the front of the train (which shouldn't have been there because the window in our room was the front. I noticed that our window actually pointed into a weird sweatshop esque room. I ran back to my room and was yelling about the window, which was now covered in a blind, about how it should not be able to look to the front because there was another room there. This is when I became lucid but it wasn't that big of a deal for some reason. I kind of just brushed passed that. The girls wondered what I meant and lifted the blind and showed the room I was talking about but they said that it had never shown the front of the train...Finally we came to a stop and were about to be inspected. There was one guy who was the inspector guy. He looked like jason stathom but a little skinnier from not eating well. He inspected the room.

Earlier in the dream, i just didn't know how to connect the 2 incidences, we were walking around this strange place, before the train, and I noticed that all the workers (all male), were bald with silvery grey skin. One of the silver guys asked me if he had something on his cheek. I laughed really hard and said that yes, he had large smudges all over his right cheek that looked like different color oil stains, like brown, yellow, and other food-ish like product.

Later back when we were on the train, I asked one of the girls how the people became grey and she said they get that way after they disrespect the government. Each one of those splotches on the cheek (this detail a little fuzzy) was a mark after one of your family members was killed for punishment from your behavior. I was so sad because I had laughed at this guy earlier.

So like I said, everything was inspected and we passed. I started walking around, still lucid but taking it for granted, and looking at all the people. It was really cool and I suddenly noticed once more...hey, why is this dream taking so long. Then I remembered, "duh, dreams just last longer when you're lucid!" At that moment I was walking passed a black middle aged guy and stared at him with a funny face as I walked by to amuse myself. He looked confused. Once again, I stopped myself and realized, Whoa, lucid, gotta do something with this! I realized that I didn't have any shoes on so the first thing I did was try to imagine the feeling of shoes on my feet instead. I didn't try for too long and I just quit that. The next thing I did was went to this ledge thing which was the ledge of a stairway, one of the kinds of stair ways where it looked like it wasn't connected to a wall...crap I'm sucking at explaining things right now. (somehow it wasn't a train I was on anymore I guess) Anyway, I started to try to jump up on it and grab the ledge but I wasn't jumping higher and my grip was extra slippery. I regain composure, "come on, you're lucid, just make yourself jump higher." I gave a couple more pushes with the same result.

I looked behind me and the agent inspector guy was there and he was pissed, I was breaking some rule or something. We got into an intense fight (I was thankfully ok at that in my dream) but he still kicked my ass and tackled me to the ground, pinning my head down and sitting on my back. He said something about me doing something wrong and disrespecting him so he took away (the gov could do this) my access to some webpages and made my facebook less powerful (evidently it had some cool power to take away).

Another Train (FRAG)

took another nap...

Just a fragment but I was on a train, regular size this time, and I was with one really fat white woman and probably 2 other skinny women. I remember vaguely the fat one talking about breast feeding and she took out her breast. Some other stupid stuff...

Tried Flying Again

I stopped writing in my DJ because senior year is getting busy but since it is Xmas break I decided to get the ole attempts for dreaming again. I didn't want to post in the online journal until I could get a lucid dream but I had worked on dream recall for about a month and I started looking for dream signs in real life to so it was only a matter of time.

The dream before becoming lucid as always is a little blurry and short. I remember I was driving somewhere from this park. At the park when I got into my car, which was on a weird grassy tiered parking lot structure, I noted that the dick next to me had scratched my car while opening his door. I had checked my car because he was parked so close next to mine. His was a black sleek luxury sedan and mine was my trusty ford escape, not a bad car by the way. So while opening my door I "accidentally" left a long ding in his while I saw him walking up to me. He was a preppy looking dick with a lettuce hair cut. I quickly got into my car and started to drive away. One of the things looking back that I may have noticed was that my gas gauge was different. It was a small neon green array of dots at the bottom of the dash. I still had the red pointer thing that rotated on an axis but the dots were in a line unlike usual meters in modern cars. Also I was way out of gas and I knew that my mom had just filled up my tank last night so this was suspicious. But I noticed that the longer that I drove, the more the tank filled up. Also strange. So I finally got to my destination which was a strange strip mall and amusement park combined. It seemed to be mostly made out of this pale orange-y stone that seemed Mediterranean themed but the architecture that it was built in was sort of Mayan, but with less decor. I was driving my car to park in an underground parking lot but while I was driving a lady told me that there would be no parking spots here. I ignored her and kept driving on. There was a festival going on while I was driving and people were all in the middle of the streets dancing and walking around doing stuff. There was this one guy/girl dressed up as a japanese demon and kept taunting me as I was driving and wherever I would turn to drive they would run in front of me. Finally I slammed on the gas and almost ran it over and then no one got in my way. I finally made it to the parking structure, which I found doubled as a water ride, and parked my car in a neighborhood street adjoining. I went into the line that was the ride and then this middle aged lady who was with another middle aged lady and two old white haired ones convinced me that there was probably not enough time to do the ride (subconscious trying to tell me something with the repeated warnings?) so I decided to leave. There was an easy exit set of stairs right next to me so I went up there but then I accidentally (actually this time) bumped my shoulder into one of the older ladies. It was on accident so it was soft. The lady yelled "what's your problem!" I didn't know what she was talking about so I said, "Hey, I'm leaving ain't I?" Then the first middle aged lady yelled that I bumped her in the face. I apologized and stomped away pissed. I then saw a pair of brothers that I recognized (don't remember who they were now) and they were doing parkour. As a practitioner I always want to join in if such things happen so I stripped down to my under wear because the clothes I was wearing were far to troublesome to move efficiently in. They were trying a under bar through a long car and I wanted to try but we got kicked off the premises.

Somewhere in between here and going to their house that strongly resembled my house, I became lucid. I can never remember why I become lucid but that's never the important part. So we were in their house and in what would be my moms room. They were jumping on the bed and I was lucid. At first I was just participating like I was in a normal dream, then as they were jumping I tried ripping the bed apart with telekenetics. Didn't work but then again I rarely ever had good dream control. In fact I pretty much never did but I was usually able to do something. I really wanted to do something, anything, because it was my first time being lucid in a while! I told them I had to do something so I started to walk out side. It was exactly like my house so I knew the floor plan. As I was walking through the kitchen into the garage I remember thinking how Lucid dreams are always much more detailed than a regular dream. I've made this observation before but like I said, its been a while. I go into the back yard and start jumping and jumping, trying to fly. I notice that I'm jumping higher than in real life so this keeps me believing that i'm still in a dream. I was able to jump as high as the roof but I was never able to fly. After many depressing attempts, I awake...

I'm going to look up some things on dream control. I really want to get back in the swing of things.

I was going to wait til the New year to restart writing my dreams down but I decided when I had the first lucid in a while. My old dream Journal can be found in the grandfather Journals under Doctor's Dreams.

Blow Job and Go

I don't remember the beginning of it but I remember that I went though a lot of trouble to get a blow job from a girl named Brittany. She was not the version that she is IRL but that didn't matter. We were under something and I remember here starting the blowjob. I had barely sat down when I exploded cum all over her face. I was lucid but for some reason not interested in exploration. I looked at her and cracked up. I said "Gotta Go!" and opened my dream eyes extremely wide. At this point I was waking up on purpose. It was very weird because although my dream eyelids were practically stretching off my face I could feel my second set, my real set of eyelids, still closed. Eventually with enough effort they were forced open and I awoke.