memorable

Dream - Lucid

I was at my house. It was like I was in a video game, and I was lucid. I don't remember at what point I became lucid, I just remember that I was.

I went into the piano room. It was very dark. I walked up to the piano, and faintly saw my mom sitting there, playing, though I didn't hear any music. I sat down on the piano bench next to her. She stopped playing. For some reason, I thought she was going to be upset with me. Instead, she put her left arm around me and hugged me. We pulled away, and in her mouth, I saw a light blue pacifier.

~

I was, again, in a video game. I was with my mom, dad, and my cat, though I'm not sure if my brother was there or not. We were outside in a field with trees, like a more realistic, less blocky-looking Minecraft. The sky was blue, but it didn't look sunny. My dad was holding something the whole time, I think it was my cat.

Also with us was JP. I didn't know how we got into this situation with him, I didn't know why he was there. He was being his sly, charming, shady self, and for some reason, we were following him around. I kept wanting to tell my dad that JP was bad news, but I didn't want to do it in front of JP, in fear that he would hurt me or my family. I was surprised my dad couldn't tell something was wrong with him, since he's a psychiatrist. Maybe he did, but had the same fear as I.

At some point, we met JP's dad, whom I've never actually met IWL (I don't think he ever met him either, actually). He had the shaggy brown hair and mustache, but he looked a bit different than my guide, I think. I only ever saw him at a distance. I want to say he was in some other "dimension" of the world.

We were then underneath some white stone pavilion. JP wanted access to the "rainbow realm", and my dad had the means to get there. I knew it was bad, bad news if JP had access to that world for some reason. But my dad gave him what he needed anyway. All I had wanted my dad to do was pull his gun and kill him, but I knew JP had a gun too, and I didn't want anyone else to get hurt who didn't have to. I then watched as JP put together the rest of his portal or whatever it was, and he was surrounded by a rainbow glow. I think it made him more powerful.

We were then in what was supposed to be the "rainbow realm", but it looked the same as the original dimension, save for JP's dad was there too. The next thing I knew, we were running from them. My mom and I were both holding a different Belle (my cat). The one mom was holding was white, like IWL Belle is, and the one I was holding was a smoky grey with some brown speckles mixed in. As we ran, JP and his dad threw knives at us. One hit the Belle that mom was holding. My mom tossed her dead body aside. As she did, I saw the body as it came by me. I saw the stab wound, and the cat was no longer white, but looked like the one I was holding.

I was getting tired; my legs felt like they were going to give out. JP's dad, the one pursuing me the most, threw a knife at me that narrowly missed. I then tripped and fell, exhausted. As I fell, to save the cat, I tossed her aside and hoped she ran away. JP's dad closed in on me, though I kept trying to crawl away.

I woke up before he caught me.

~

I was in my house in my brother and I's bathroom. There was something inside the shower behind the half-closed curtain, but I wasn't sure what it was. I took a brown Kroger shopping bag with some objects in it, and hit it, whatever it was; I never saw what I was hitting. I then saw Belle, my cat, come out of the shower. She looked like she had a little nick in her fur on her neck, but there was no blood or anything. She was just fine. I pet her a bit.

I then walked into some gym-type room with lots of exercise machines. Not where I needed to be, and as I was leaving, I saw a ton of machines on the wall, as in suspended on the higher parts of the wall. On one of them, an exercise bike I believe, I saw someone I went to high school with named Jason.

I was then back at my house. I went into my parents' bedroom. None of the lights were on, but it wasn't pitch dark, just kind of dim. I started to go into the bathroom, when I saw two white cats that looked like Belle right outside of it, one pouring blood from a wound in her head/neck area, and the other dead, her eyes lifeless and cloudy. I touched the dead one, who looked more like a kitten than a full-grown cat, and her body was cold. I looked to the other, a more grown up cat, and she was trying to keep walking on, trying to keep going despite the bloody gash in her head. I started to get very upset, because not only was a cat dead and the other critically wounded, I knew I had done it when I hit the thing in the shower. I knew it, and I knew that the Belle that I pet in shower did not get hit. It was weird. I started yelling for my brother to call someone so we could get this cat to the animal ER. I didn't have very high hopes of her making it.

~

I was at some house party with a bunch of people I didn't know. It was nighttime. I had been talking with some guy right outside the house, and apparently, I was being a smartass. In fact, I was an asshole apparently, according to everyone at the party. I don't think I was trying to be, really, I was just coming off that way.

They all started to kind of gang up on me, calling me a jerk and stuff, telling everyone who didn't know that I was a jerk. I took it by being a smartass back to them. Then, I decided to be nice and polite to everyone instead.
"I can be nice too," I said.
The main guy whom I had been talking to before said something like "Oh yeah?" back.
I then started to reintroduce myself to everyone with a huge, genuine smile on my face.
"Hi, I'm Krista, it's nice to meet you!" I said to the people around me, each individually, shaking their hands. That seemed to be working!

I then remember being inside the house for a little bit.

Then, outside again, I introduced myself to a guy that looked like Jonah Hill. I think someone brought him up to me so he could meet me. We chatted for awhile, and started to kind of like one another. I knew he was kind of getting a crush on me.

We then were on a brown, wooden boat on this very big lake. Things started to get Minecraft-y here (so who can guess what game I've been playing lately? ). The boat kept almost overturning, and then, I fell out of the boat. The water was very, very cold. So cold, my legs were going numb, and I could barely move them. The guy who looked like Jonah Hill (I'm just gonna call him Jonah from now on) helped me out of the freezing water and back into the boat.

The boat then overturned, and we both fell out. I remember being underwater and seeing him. I was trying to reach him before he went over a waterfall that was not far from us. The current would take us there if we weren't careful.

I then pulled out a dirt block (Minecraft) so I would float, and while underwater, picked up another dirt block, and swam more quickly to Jonah, who was heading straight for the waterfall. I gave him the dirt block so he'd float too, and pulled him to safety.

Then, we were back at the house where the party was, and he cutely asked me if he could have my number. I smiled and said
"Yeah! Hold on, let me go get my phone."
I went back in to get my phone.

Then, I woke up.

Dream - Lucid

I was in my house in the kitchen with someone, I want to say kind of a butch-looking girl. I went to the fridge and opened it to find some wine. I pulled out the bottle, and there was only about a glass left. I said something to the girl about there barely being any left, so I was just going to drink it from the bottle. I pulled the cork and put it to my lips.

Dream skip. Things get interesting here.

Someone, I think this girl I know in waking life named Jane, had lost her parents (not so in waking life) when she was younger. I was watching the scenario of how how she lost her mom. Apparently, she had lost her parents at different points, first her dad, then her mom.

The story was that they were at a beach when she was very young, probably about 6 or 7, and her version of the story was that her mother was killed by being swept out in powerful currents or something. I watched the beach come into view from above. I saw it was a sunny day. The beach was secluded and rocky, and lots of areas formed huge, strong currents between the rocks.

Then, it was like I was playing some weird version of Sim Earth, and I started trying to get rid of the currents by placing waves between the grey rocks where the current got strong. This just pushed the current outwards. I kept trying, and it kept doing the same thing, so I just deleted my wave placements to make it go back to normal.

Then, I was watching the young Jane and her mother, both very beautiful. Her mother seemed like a very, very kind woman. They were standing in very shallow water close to the shore by a huge rock formation at the very left side of the beach. Something happened to where Jane killed her mother, though it was not on purpose, but an accident. She was stabbed through the middle. I saw the wound, and it was bloody, but not too bloody. The present Jane then had this horrible realization that she had killed her mother, after thinking for years it had been the currents.

Then, I was getting out of my parked car on a sunny day at this Catholic church in my town. I was going to meet either Jane or Jake, I'm not quite sure anymore. I think it was Jake. I had to walk somewhere though, so I got out of the car, and started to walk away from the church. I got to the corner of the sidewalk, and to my right, I saw a little ways from me, two HUGE grey dogs. No collars, no leashes. They looked like Great Danes. As bad as I want a Great Dane (I do want one in waking life), I did not want a run-in with these dogs. I turned to my left, and again, a ways away from me were two more gigantic grey dogs.

I started back towards the church, trying to step cautiously as to not startle the dogs. Well, apparently, I wasn't taking enough care in my steps, because first two, then the other two, started to bound towards me. Not out of aggression, but they wanted to greet me. I am very small, even in waking life, compared to Great Danes, but these were even more massive and muscular than their waking life counterparts. I was walking by the parked cars in the parking lot as they started to jump on me excitedly. One bit me on the arm he was so excited, but not hard enough to make me bleed, though I did still feel the pain of the bite.
"Down! Sit! Stay" I started to say forcefully over and over.
They backed off a little, but not much. Then, right as I feel like I was getting to my car (I don't think I was going to leave, but I needed shelter), a Golden Retriever started to join in on the fun.

At some point during all this, I remember calling Jake. He asked if I wanted to meet him somewhere else or something, and I said yes.

I also remember seeing a photograph of Jake as a child, I think it was Jake anyway, in front of a building with some other children. Jake was not smiling. He looked angry and sad. He had lost his parents (it was bleeding in with the Jane story at that point).

I know I'm leaving some things out of here, especially in the part where Jane's mother is killed. But the most vivid part of the dream was the dog part, seeing them and being jumped all over by them. Odd.

Dream - Lucid

I was at Jake's apartment. We were in his bedroom playing video games. It was pretty vivid, and I had a feeling I was dreaming. I did a finger count RC. I had been holding up only 4 fingers, but I was counting 5. It's a dream!

I went over to Jake and said
"Jake! Guess what?"
He smiled and replied, equating my enthusiasm,
"What?"
"This is a lucid dream!"
I floated up to the ceiling. How exciting! A very vivid LD!

I was then in a big room with lots of windows and a couch. The room was bright. I feel like many people were milling about. It sort of reminded me of a building from my old college. With me was an older man. His hair was greying. His presence didn't seem odd. He was just...there with me. I turned to him and asked if he was my guide. He didn't say yes outright, but I listened to his words, and yes was in there, though I can't remember the exact wording. I had never gotten that answer before from any regular DCs.

He was then sitting on the couch, and I was standing in front of him. I then remembered something I've wanted to know for a long time.
"Who is that dream character that appears so often in my dreams? The one with the brown hair?"
There was a person then seated next to him. I don't remember what they looked like before, but they started to morph. They were then an overweight, middle-aged woman with dark, greasy hair pulled back into a ponytail. She couldn't make eye contact with me at all, and was muttering to herself and swaying. I asked my guide if that was my dream character in a past life. He told me yes.

As I looked at my supposed guide, I noticed he kept looking older and older, hair whitening and more wrinkles carving his face.

I then went up to a mirror on the wall, and asked to see what Chris, an ex and old friend, was up to. I don't know what made me want to do this. I was going to create a portal, but I ended up creating a "window" on the mirror instead by tracing a circle with my fingers. The area inside the traced circle ended up turning black at first, and then, I could see this area inside a building. It was by a staircase; the floor and the stairs was a dark, finished wood. I thought I saw Chris walking around amongst the people there. I'm not really sure exactly what I was seeing, but I know Chris was there somewhere. For some reason, I felt like I was looking into the future.

Wow...just wow. This. This was amazing. I have a feeling that the old man was actually my repeating dream character, but I'm not positive. Some of the details have since been lost, but I feel like that was implied, though I'm not positive.

Still...wow. I'm simply amazed.

Dream - Lucid

I was in marching band again. We were having some sort of sleepover. It was nighttime, and we were in a house. Next to me was this girl that looked like someone who was in band with me in waking life, Nancy. She was a freshman and I was an upperclassman. For whatever reason, I had taken her under my wing, so to speak.

She asked me to pull a wedgie for her? I said ok, and she leaned forward, exposing the top of her panties. I noticed she was wearing two pairs of underwear, one peachy/skin-toned, and the other a bluish-green.
"This one?" I asked as I tugged the peachy one.
"Yes."
I pulled on it.

More happened in this dream, but I can't recall what right now.

~

I was in bed with JP. It was nighttime. We were in what looked like a hotel, but it was supposed to be at a school. We were both students. I'm not sure why we were in the same bed, there was another bed in the room but it was occupied I believe. I suppose it was like a dorm or something. The bed was next to a big window, with J being on the window side and I on the other. The window showed that we were on a higher floor, I think, and you could see trees and lights from buildings.

As we were laying in bed, he was saying something about my birthday being the next night, and how he was going to give me "birthday sex". I don't remember what I said. I wasn't really thrilled at the prospect, but this guy was scary (and is in waking life as well).

The next night, on my birthday apparently, I stayed in another part of the dorm/hotel. I was worried that JP would get upset because of this, but I didn't want to stay there with him. I then had this huge "flashback" of the college years ago, when a dead woman was found in an indoor pool, stabbed to death. They had to remove the body before they had a funeral service. I then made the terrible connection: JP was the killer from years ago. He was assuming a fake name at the college, the name James Holmes (the Batman movie killer from Colorado).

I knew I couldn't stay. I was in him and I's room, and the light was dim; nighttime again, but there was a lamp that was on on the nightstand. Someone called him and angered him. When he got off the phone, we were then in the living area, and a man appeared from a doorway, looking panicked and concerned. JP went and stabbed a man in the chest. I was sitting on the couch, watching in horror. He came to me then, and carefully chose a short, fat knife from the many knives that he had, all the while talking to me in a cool, calculated, heartless manner. I tried to back away, but he had me. He stabbed me in the lower left chest, but not too deeply, since I was resisting. I felt the pain as he cut me.

Then, it was like the scene was being replayed, only differently. We were in the room again, and his phone started to ring. I spotted a brown spider crawling on the floor with spindly, long legs. I got up to leave the room, and JP said
"You better not leave, this phone call may make me angry." I left anyway as he got on the phone.

I went to the living area and across the room to another door. I barged in and my parents were asleep in the bed there. My mom's head was facing the head of the bed, but my dad was sleeping opposite of her, with his head at the foot of the bed. I shook my dad first saying "Wake up! Wake up!" as I moved on to shake my mother. My mom woke up, and I frantically explained the situation. In the back of my mind, though, I knew we were doomed. She got out of bed, I'm not sure if she said anything. My dad was the only one of us there with the means to defend, and I could not wake him up. I kept trying, but to no avail. I then left the room and ran out the front door as fast as I could. I could run to the lights of the city, or the sparse, dim lights of some homes to my left. I went towards the homes, figuring he wouldn't be able to see me with the dim light. I tried to frantically think of what to do. Should I head to a house and try to knock until someone answered? Or should I run out to the woods? Either way, I felt doomed.

I awoke this morning being quite afraid still, the feelings carrying over from the dream to my waking self. I'm still calming down, and it's been over an hour since I woke up.

Dream - Lucid

I was at what looked exactly like Jake's apartment with a bunch of other people, including my friend Rachel, and one of my old teachers from college, Mr. H. Apparently, it was some sort of class.

Mr. H told us all to go around the apartment and memorize as many items that were there as we could "in order", whatever that meant. We all then started, and I stuck by Rachel. We named off all these items as we all scattered across the apartment. I remember seeing a lot of vegetables in the kitchen area. The one I specifically remember is cucumbers for some reason. I named off other items in my head, talking to Rachel about them. Everyone seemed excited.

We only had a short amount of time to do this. Mr. H soon called us back, and we all sat on the couch in the living room (even the couch was the exact same as in Jake's apartment). He gave us worksheets, and we had to name off the items we remembered "in order", and answer some other questions about them. I had been trying to remember all the items I encountered, beginning with the first one, but I started to get confused, and just wrote down each of the individual vegetables and some other random things. That question was actually closer to the bottom of the worksheet.

I noticed that others were having little to no trouble remembering the items; one girl even had over 500 items listed, I think the exact number was 534. Many were already turning in their assignments, which Mr. H was grading right away, and they were getting good grades. I know at least one person got a 100.

I think I was the last to finish the assignment. I felt like I wasn't going to do very well. I turned it in to Mr. H, who was sitting on a kitchen chair in the living room, close to the door. I sat down in another kitchen chair close to him and waited. He gave my paper back shortly, and it said 54 on the top. Great. I got a 54. And everyone else is musing about their awesome 100s and such. Ugh, I feel like a complete idiot.

But then, Mr. H pointed something out to me. There was some weird, small white sign between us with a red number on it. There was the number 119 written over the 54. I guess I got a 119. Um...yeah, I can live with that, that's awesome as fuck, but wtf?

~

I was sitting outside my front door on the red brick stairs that lead up to it. It was sunny and nice outside; a great day. I want to say it was morning, actually. A small calico cat came up to me, and I started to pet her. She was so sweet! I was talking to her, saying she was adorable and such, and then I looked to my right, and there was a cop just sitting there, in his uniform, drinking a mug of coffee (I'm pretty sure it was coffee). He looked fairly young and had short dark brown hair and a mustache. Internally, I freaked out at first, then realized I had absolutely nothing to hide, nothing to freak out about. He looked at me. He looked content and relaxed with a happy look about his face, though not overly so. He said something about the cat's owner, whom I think was actually him.

Then, I was playing this PC game that I used to play when I was a kid. I'm going to break from the dream for a second to explain the actual game. It was one of the first online games I ever played. It had come with this other game I had, some game from the "Jump-Start" series of PC games. I want to say the game was called Knowledge Land. You "walk" (slide) around a coarse 3-D world with other players with an avatar, the most common avatar being a mouse. You earned other avatars, such as tigers and even humans, by collecting different types of cards, some of which you earned by going into this cave thing and answering questions that this computer asked you, and some of which you could just pick up off the ground.

Anyway, I was playing that for some reason, and I felt like I was a little old for it, and the game was waaay outdated, so I would more than likely be the only person playing it. But I was wrong, there were others playing. I was friends on there with some guy with a Japanese-type robot avatar. The game in the dream had the same idea as the real Knowledge Land, but it was very different graphic-wise; there was a more extensive 3-D world, and you could move about it more freely. I was helping the robot guy with something, though I can't remember what.

Then, I was in an elevator with Andy, I think Jase, and some other guys. They were holding up these Star Wars t-shirts to their bodies, showing them off since they had just bought them. They were excited about them. I commented on Andy's, saying it was really cool.

Then, the elevator started to move down very quickly, and I started to freak out a little because I was floating up towards the ceiling from the speed we were traveling. Everyone else seemed to be grounded but me. They were holding onto some railing I think. I was commenting on it to them. I then thought about curling into a fetal position as I usually do in these dreams with the elevator (a fairly common theme for me), but I started trying to get a handle on the handrail so I could stay put, even though I actually started to really enjoy the floating.

The elevator then started moving in other directions, like forward and down hills and stuff.
"Wooo!" I said, "It's like a roller coaster!"
I was having fun. I could even see out these windows that were now in the elevator. We were being carried on this rail that was above us. There was water around I believe, and we were traveling through a building. I remember seeing lots of metal bars.

We finally stopped and got off the elevator. I think we were in some sort of parking garage.

~

I had another dream this morning, but I can't remember it right now.

Dream - Lucid

I was with my friend Leigh, though I don't remember where, it was somewhere weird. We were looking at these colorful patterns on the wall. We had to choose from them for something. I kept thinking they reminded me of spirographs, but they weren't spirally at all; most were, in fact, star patterns. I told Leigh the ones I liked, which included some light blue shooting stars, some circle with a rainbow on the top, and I can't remember the last one. She didn't like the first one I picked, and so she told me the ones she liked. We both liked the one with the rainbow, and I think she said she liked the last one I picked as well.

~

I was in my room, and MK was there. She went into my closet to look for something, I'm not sure what, but she sounded upset about it; she said something in a whiny, sad voice. She knelt down at this old wooden toy box I have in there where I used to keep my pipe. I didn't want her to smell it, though it didn't really matter because she knows I occasionally smoke, but I rushed over and sat on the toy box anyway, and said something to her about whatever she was upset about.

I guess I must have left the closet at some point, because the next thing I knew, I was standing in my room again, and I figured out I was dreaming. I wondered if MK was still there. I went over to the closet, and before I opened it, I said I wanted Ray to be in there. I concentrated on that for a minute, then opened the closet door.
"Ray?", I said. Nothing. He wasn't there. Neither was MK.
But my closet had all these pretty dresses that weren't there before. I remember a poofy, prom-ish looking, sparkly light blue dress, and a small white halter dress with a big sparkly black belt around the waist. I really liked that one!

False awakening. I couldn't sleep, so I just decided to get up. I went to the computer, and my friend from Ireland, Ray, had messaged me on Skype.

Or had he? I thought I could see I had a couple of messages from him when I had been laying in bed, like maybe "Good morning" or something, but there wasn't really a message there. Maybe I should just go back to bed.

Laying in bed again, and I hear what sounds like a phone ringing (from the caller's end), and I rushed over to the computer. When I had went to lay down again, I had accidentally hit something to video chat with Ray. His face popped up in a thumbnail by his messages.
"Oh shit!" I said as I covered my mouth, "I accidentally video called you! I look awful!"
He didn't say anything, and I was trying to avoid looking right at the camera or his face.
"I'll be right back, I'm going to go make a cup of coffee."
I catch a glimpse of his face. The camera showed a side view of him at the computer. He was smiling. He looked kinda like another guy I know in waking life named Levi. I thought that as I walked off to go downstairs and make coffee.

When I got downstairs, I went to the Keurig carousel for some coffee. It was full; I guess my mom had gone to the store before she left for Wisconsin. I looked at all the different coffees, and noticed she had accidentally gotten decaf. It was some kind of decaf vanilla coffee I had never seen before. I looked at the other coffees. I picked one and put it in the machine.

I then looked at the refrigerator, and had a feeling I was dreaming again. I looked at some advertisement that was magnetted to the fridge, looked away, and looked back again, and the words had changed. I can't remember what they said. I kept doing that and the words kept changing. I was so amused, I was reading the new phrases aloud as they changed, kind of narrating what was going on.

I then went back upstairs and decided I needed to go fly. I walked into the bonus room and to the two big windows at the far end. The couch was still there (we got rid of it recently in waking life), so I climbed it and started to try to break the window by ramming my body into it. I was met with very realistic resistance. So I tried it again and again. I had a vague feeling of being trapped, and that it was my subconscious telling me something. I kept ramming the window until it finally gave. Parts of it broke, but the window itself tumbled to the concrete below. I watched it fall and shatter.

I then stepped outside. It was a nice, sunny day. In the dream, there was some roof there for me to stand on (not so in waking life). I started to wonder if I was really dreaming, or if this was real and I was losing my mind. I thought about people who confuse dreams with reality. So I decided to try to hover a little before I flew. I kept jumping up and down with less-than-promising results. I did know that I was dreaming, though. I didn't worry too much about all that after the initial "Holy shit I'm going to have to pay for that window and get locked up in the loony bin" moment.

I then had another false awakening. I was laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, but I knew I was dreaming immediately this time. I actually had a ton of FAs, a lot more than I can really remember other than me waking up and losing the dream again. This seems to happen to me quite often in LDs--if I have one FA, you can bet I'll probably have more.

I then was at the bottom of the stairs, trying to think of how I could properly spend this LD. I wanted to have a deep, spiritual experience, but I didn't know how to induce it. I kept thinking I had to slow my breathing down and really calm my mind, but I felt my waking body breathing, and it didn't feel like I was able to take in enough oxygen, even though I was breathing through my mouth. I tried to concentrate on getting in touch with my inner self (or "higher self", whichever you prefer), which is one of my lucid goals, one that I think will be very beneficial if I can properly implement it.

Then, I felt the buzzing of SP, and my vision turned to some hypnogogia. I then was having yet another FA in my bed.

I didn't know what to do with all this lucid time. So I decided to get down and dirty and have sex with Ray. If you want to read the explicit details,

Spoiler for explicit content:

He was then there, and we were getting naked. I kept kind of losing the dream, but kept concentrating on keeping it. I was surprised at how well this was working out. Usually, in these kinds of situations, I get too excited and wake up...it is actually something I've been working on in my LDs .

I do feel like I lost it once, but it wasn't for long enough for me to wake up. I was then on the dresser, mostly naked, and he was on top of me. For a second, I was looking at the ceiling, and it looked like a chalkboard with words written on it that kept changing. I touched it, and it felt like...well, a chalkboard. I then shifted my attention again. I noticed his pants were still on, and they started to slide down as he got on top of me. There's a mirror on my dresser, and I watched as he entered me. I kept almost losing the dream, but I never did. In fact, it was very vivid...and sexy. I finally came, and it was ridiculously good. Like...ridiculously good.

Then I finally woke up.

And all I have to say now is hot damn. Probably the best sex dream I've ever had.

Dream - Lucid

Finally, some good recall again!

I was with Jake. I can't quite remember where.

Then, I was sitting at my desk putting a baggie with a tiny piece of a marijuana bud in it in an envelope for my friend, Grace (who doesn't smoke in waking life). I was going to mail it to her. I felt like I had mailed marijuana before and it wasn't a big problem (yeah, I'm not dumb enough to do this in waking life).

I then was walking through what was supposed to be a high school or something. I was still with Jake. I then saw my reflection in something we walked past, not a mirror but a very reflective surface, and I looked quite a bit different. My hair was short and straight and styled in a bouffant fashion. I was wearing a short skirt, red I think, but I don't remember what kind of top I was wearing. I looked at it for a second as we walked by.

I again saw my reflection, and it looked the same as before, bouffant hairdo and all.

Then, we were walking through a garage, still at the school apparently, and I was smoking a cigarette. As we walked up the stairs to the door to exit the garage, I flicked the butt behind me, not watching where it landed. My dad was then walking with me, and commented on the stink of the cigarettes (apparently lots of people smoked here).

~

I was going to Jake's. I went into his apartment, and immediately thought that the locks had been changed for the new roommates moving in, and I didn't have the new key. Oh well.

I walked through the apartment, which looked much different than in waking life. I remember walking past a cabinet with these two new, gold locks on it. On the living room couch were his two new roommates, two college guys. I remember one having a very short black mohawk and being shirtless. I don't remember what they were doing, I think they were just drinking soda or something. They didn't even seem to notice as I walked in.

I then went to Jake's room. It was super messy, and he was sleeping on what looked like a cot in the middle of the mess, kind of close to the door. I woke him up and said something about his new roommates.

~

There are some fragments that I can't really place.

One, I was watching something on TV in my room with my mom, when the bouffant girl that was supposed to be me in the last dream came on TV. I got excited and told her about the dream. She smiled and got excited too (lol she wouldn't get excited in waking life).

Another was of me driving topless. I felt exposed. Why the hell was I driving topless?

I then remember something about seeing my old cat, Pounce, or at least a cat that looked just like her. This triggered lucidity, and I looked at my hands to stabalize, but I immediately lost it and went into a non-lucid dream.

~

I got a text from my pen pal, Gabriel, whom in waking life I've never met in person, and who lives in another state. It said
"Wanna get a drink?"
I hadn't realized he had texted me; it had been about 30-45 minutes since he had asked me. I got really excited and I told him yes, but he didn't answer right away. It was kinda late too, like 8:30pm or so.

So I got online and ordered some ticket to some bar in Franklin, the town he lived in in the dream. I then somehow had the small white ticket. It looked like a ticket to a movie.

I was then in the kitchen at my house, My mom was then telling me how she wanted me to help her with something. I told her I wasn't going to be coming home that night. She asked why, and I said I was going to go get a drink.

I realized that he never answered my text. I then called him, and he picked up on the first ring. I was a little nervous about talking to him.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"I do want to get a drink."
That's about all I remember of the conversation, though I'm sure there was more. I felt more at ease as we talked. His voice was soft and deep; comforting.
I think he texted me his address.

I then left. It was dark, obviously, since it was late. I only had about an hour and a half to drive (only 30 min. away in waking life).

I was then at his place. We went into his room, and he was talking to me as he went through some stuff on his bed. He had already bought this six pack of hard lemonade-type drinks. So I guess we were drinking at his place. His apartment seemed a little messy, but it wasn't bad. He had short black hair, looked youthful, and was a little shorter than the average guy. He actually would later in the dream remind me of someone I'm acquainted with in waking life, Tony.

I sat down at a desk chair, and we started on our hard lemonades. We were talking, having a good time, feeling each other out since we'd never actually met in person. I was a little skeptical just because I felt like I kinda rushed into getting drinks with him, but he seemed gentle, nice, and genuine.

At one point we were talking about the lemonades. He was already on his second, and I was still on my first, though it was almost gone.

I then fell asleep. I woke up, and didn't see Gabriel. I went to the bag the six pack was in, but all the lemonades were gone. I guess I had been out long enough for Gabriel to drink the rest.

My mom then came in and did or said something, I can't remember, but I thought it was insane that she even knew where I was, that she even knew his address. Weird.

Then, Gabriel came back in with a bunch more booze. He pulled out amber liquor and beer, which was the same color. I started to open one up, but realized it was liquor, so I started to open up another, smaller bottle instead. I actually wasn't sure if it was liquor or beer or something else altogether, but I poured it into a glass and started to drink it. The flavor wasn't bad, though it tasted muted for some reason. I could taste the slight bitterness, but it was fine.

Then, we were talking again, I think I mentioned something about my mom coming over. I was a little tipsy, but mostly I think I was just tired. Gabriel started talking to some of his friends, whom I think were supposed to be his band. They were looking at instruments that were in what now seemed to be a mixture of Gabriel's place and a music store. This is the part where I really thought he looked like Tony. He made hand gesture to his mouth to tell the guys we were drinking. The next thing I remember, they were gone.

At some point, I noticed his bed. It was a queen with old, dusty, worn-looking white bedding. I thought it would be perfect to share with him.

I then took too big a sip of my alcohol. I let it sit in my mouth for a second, afraid to swallow cause I didn't want to puke, but sucked it up and did it anyway. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it was just fine.

I feel like my mom was there again. Someone was, anyway, and I was laying on my stomach on a bed or something. Gabriel then put his hand on my back. A big smile painted my face. His touch was so gentle and soft. I trusted him a lot more then.

Finally, Gabriel said he was going to go to bed. I asked him if he wanted me to stay or go.
"Ummm..." He was thinking.

I then was woken up to hearing my neighbor call their dog.
"Sawyer!!!"

Oddly, in the last dream, I think part of me knew it was a dream. I didn't want to wake up, and I remember looking at my hands trying to keep the dream, but I wasn't actively lucid. It was just "in the back of my head" or something. I dunno. Either way, I'm not going to classify it as lucid.

Dream - Lucid

I was about to race Austin underwater, though we were on two separate courses, though they were both underwater. I remember seeing his face, and he looked so much younger, like a 12 -year-old version of himself. He was smiling and his face looked bright and full of life.

I knew right off I couldn't beat him. He was well known for his great swimming skills. I decided to try anyway.

The course started out on land, but only briefly. It was in a cave that had a part of it submersed in water. I stood right where the cave lightly sloped into the underwater portion on a white line that had been drawn to designate the start. I stood prepped like I was about to run a race, with one foot behind me in an almost kneeling positing with both my hands on the ground. I got the signal to start, though I can't remember what that was. I went straight into the water and swam hard through the underwater cave. There was no chance to breathe anywhere, for it was, well, an underwater cave, but that didn't seem to be an issue. I was surrounded by underwater plants, anenomes, and gray rock. I swam into another part of the cave on my right.

~

I was in the dining room at my family's house with Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother (this is what happens when I fall asleep watching Netflix). They were doing something on my laptop, some kind of game, and I kept pushing a button repeatedly, trying to fill up some bar to win. Every time I'd get close, they'd shut me down. I then remember sticking a pin or a needle inside part of the computer to push some small button (think the 'reset' button on some electronics where you have to stick the head of a pen inside a small hole to push it). I kept doing that really fast and had a couple more to go when, I again got shut down.

~

I was supposed to meet Jake at a restaurant. He suggested a local hookah bar that I used to frequent in waking life, but I haven't been to in a couple of years. I was surprised he suggested it, but I agreed to go. I got there first and waited on Jake for awhile. I ordered my food and it got there before he did. Finally, he got there and sat down at the table diagonally across from me, to my left. I feel like there were a couple of other people there too. We were sitting outside in the porch area of the bar.

Then, Jake looks at me blankly and says
"I had sex with you because you're an emotion."
This really pissed me off. I was infuriated. I was so mad, my vision started to blur as I looked under the table for my black flip-flops. As I was slipping them on and standing up, I said, angrily,
"Well I hope you want to pay for dinner then!"

And with that, I stormed off. Jake went after me. We started really getting into it. I vaguely remember us having plastic yellow baseball bats and hitting one another with them (I own one of these in waking life). The restaurant briefly looked like my family's house as we fought through it. During the fight, I felt like he had the upper hand, like he was winning; I felt inadequate.

We sat back down at the table and the waitress said something to us, though I can't quite remember what exactly, but it was something about us fighting. We were still angry at this point, and I still felt strangely low, like he was going to break it off with me or something, I'm not sure. It was not a good feeling though.

Then, I remember driving on the interstate, waiting for my exit to get there. I was driving back from Nashville. I then suddenly remembered I had no idea which exit to take, and I had forgotten to set up my GPS. I quickly, while driving, grabbed it out of my glove compartment, hooked it up and turned it on. The exit was coming up soon, though it was at an odd place on the GPS map. I knew it was a spirally ramp that I was looking for. The GPS then showed me driving inside a spiral, heading towards the center.

It's been awhile since I've posted, but I'm gonna try to start keeping up with this thing again. I've had a lot going on in my life lately, but things have slowed down enough (for now) for me to start focusing on dreaming again.

Dream - Lucid

I was in my parents' bedroom at my house in my hometown, but they weren't there. I think Jake was there. I looked down and I didn't have any legs; they were cut off a little below the knee (this seems to be a recurring theme lately; I've dreamed I was in danger of losing my feet, or seeing other people with amputated legs, always right below the knee). How was I walking? This would have been an awesome opportunity to become lucid, but I haven't had regular LDs for awhile now, so I'm kinda out of practice.

Anyway, I remembered that Virginia, my old manager, had my legs. She also had some guy's arms. She was using them to hold up the frame of a window in my parents' bathroom. I saw one of them, propped with the foot facing upwards, holding up the window (yes, this was very strange and unnerving, even in the dream). Virginia was there also. I asked her for my legs back, and she seemed happy, almost eager, to give them to me. I then looked down, and they were both reattached. I reached behind my knees with my hands, and felt a raised scar on each of them at the area they had been reattached. The area was also very tender; I felt a slight pain when I touched them. Other than the scar, though, they were seamlessly attached; unless you saw the scars, you would have no idea anything had ever happened.

And that's really all I remember. I need to get my recall back up to where it was before life interfered. -_-

Dream - Lucid

I was at my house in the playroom. I was looking at my left foot. I pushed the top middle of it, right under my middle toe, and it opened to show wires and mechanics; my foot was mechanical. (think Will Smith’s arm in I, Robot).

Apparently, the reason I had a mechanical foot, was because Jason had one. I talked to him on the phone about it at some point. I don’t remember if it was through text or actually talking on the phone.

I then remember talking to my mom about it. She was asking me if she was sure that was a good idea. And I kept backing it up saying it was a good idea.

Jason did tell me that he had lost the feeling in his foot after awhile. I noticed that my mechanical foot wasn’t as sensitive as my real foot. I didn’t think it was a huge deal.

~

I was watching a movie about a female high school student who posed as a teacher. It was a comedy, kind of like Easy A or something. The girl had straight, short/medium length dark brown hair, and glasses. She had an accomplice, her friend, who was helping her cover it up. I kept seeing them get in the accomplice’s car and go places.

I think she finally got caught.

I then remember talking to my mom about the movie. I’m not sure where we were, but we were in a room somewhere. In the middle of talking to her, I had the realization that I was dreaming. I smiled, and looked at my mom and told her this was a dream, and I got the same look most DCs give me when I mention that. I ran past her.

I examined my hands to keep the dream stable. I also yelled
“Stabalize!”, which successfully stabilized my dream.

I went by a dried up potted plant sitting on a counter. I touched the leaf and it felt so real and vivid. I love it when that happens.

Then, I remember being upstairs. I was in a room that looked similar to the bonus room. I wanted to go somewhere else; to get out of the house and fly outside. I tried to tear up the ceiling, but only saw insulation.

I then spotted a dark blue wall with I think yellow stars on it; it almost looked like it was wrapped in wrapping paper. I started to tear it up, trying to find something or somewhere new. It came off in big blocky chunks, and just looked the same underneath as it did on the surface.

I woke up in sleep paralysis. I kept still and let it buzz until I went back into the dream. When my mind was sure I was dreaming, a voice in my head said
“Action!”

I then effortlessly floated from my body in my bed. I was then close to my body’s head, and looked down and saw my body. It was laying on its back, and its eyes were open wide; it looked so frightened. I gently stroked its head of messy hair. I felt compassion for the body lying there.

I examined my hand to try to stabilize the dream, and it worked for a second, but I then lost it.

Again, I woke up in sleep paralysis, and the same scenario repeated, and I again heard
“Action!”

I then was in a room. I wanted to fly, but it had been so long that it was proving to be difficult; I felt held down by gravity. I fought the heavy feeling in my legs, and took off through the ceiling and into this crazy cloud world. The hues of the clouds were grey and blue, and there were all these colorful floating structures; it reminded me of a Super Mario Galaxy world.

I was a little unsure of the flying at first, but I then felt like I was riding a current, and it got so much easier. I rushed by all these crazy floating structures, some that were swinging back and forth. I was smiling and laughing, saying
“I’m dreaming! I’m dreaming!!”

Dream - Lucid

I was in a room, I think I was asleep, or supposed to be. I think it was pretty messy. In the room with me was a very old woman, probably in her late 80’s to early 90’s, and she was very sad. She had a small pallet on the floor to sleep on, just a bunch of blankets and such. When I talked to her, she barely had any life in her. She was so old and weary, she just wanted to die. At the same time, I think she was afraid to die. Mostly though, she just wanted to be done on this Earth.

I went somewhere and came back, and she was talked to a younger man; a doctor. She seemed to perk up a little bit as they talked.

When I approached her again after the doctor had left, she seemed much happier; there was more life in her eyes now, and she was smiling. She explained to me what the doctor had told her; it had something to do with her not living much longer, but it was ok that she was still alive now. He had somehow gotten through to her. I was glad to see her happy.

Dream – Lucid

I was parked in my car in my driveway. The sun was setting, and my friend Frank was with me sitting in the passenger’s side seat. He looked very nice, his hair looked very groomed and he didn’t have all his facial hair.

Apparently, we had just dropped acid (never done so in waking life). It was nighttime now as well. All the sudden, we were feeling pretty high. I felt out of my body, like I was floating above my car, and I saw that Frank was too. We were so high and carefree! Even though it was nighttime outside, the sky around us looked pink and purple, almost like a sunrise, though it was only an illusion induced by the acid. I was also communicating telepathically with Frank. Craziness. I worried a little bit about when the drug would wear off, and I’d have to go back to reality; I was apparently pretty depressed before I did the acid. I shrugged it off, however, and decided to just enjoy the ride. Frank and I talked and laughed together.

I think I woke up for a minute, but went straight back to sleep, re-entering the same dream.

I was still high in the dream, still sitting in the car with Frank. We decided to go somewhere. I was super fucked up, but I drove anyway. I don’t remember where we went.

I then remember coming down from the acid. I was then in my house, and Frank was gone. It wasn’t too harsh, and I started to feel the waves of high that occur with mushrooms. I was alright with it, a lot moreso than I thought I would be. I was still high enough to make a fool of myself though, apparently, and I walked into a room that my dad was in. He was talking on the phone with my therapist. For some reason, I told him I was going to marry Frank, though I had NO plans to do so at all. My dad then told my therapist what I had said, and he was also pretty upset with me. He communicated with me when he got off the phone that Frank also saw my therapist and she couldn’t see me anymore if I married him because it would be a “conflict of interest”. I also remember hearing this from my therapist over the phone.

I then told my dad that I wasn’t really going to marry Frank at all, and that I had been high on acid when I told him that. My dad then proceeded to tell me that Frank was always high and always dropped acid; he was kind of an acid-head. I had NO idea about this prior to us dropping acid; I thought at best he had done it a few times before, if that.

My dad was also disappointed with me for driving while I was so high.

I was then in my room, though it didn’t look like my real room and was a lot bigger. I was in bed watching “House” on my TV, which was on the opposite side of the room than in waking life. I was winding down for the night. My dad came to the door. He was still upset with me, and I felt ashamed of myself.

Dream - Lucid

I know there was more to this dream than this, but this is all I can really recall right now.

I was in what looked like a bedroom. The carpets were dark red. I remembered something from my waking life (which happens quite a bit in my regular dreams as well as lucid), and that somehow got my brain to the conclusion that I was dreaming.

I started to walk through the room, and the right side of my vision went out. I started trying to get it back, but it felt like my eye was shut so tightly, that it would open my real eye if I tried too hard. I decided to wait it out.

I walked by a bed that was on my right. In front of me, was...me. I was there, sitting on the floor. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail, I was wearing a white shirt, and I was sitting Indian-style on the floor, looking at me and smiling. Curious, I approached myself, hoping to ask some questions.

By this point, my vision had fixed itself.

I came up to myself sitting on the floor. I looked, and where I had been sitting there was now some sort of kitchen appliance machine still in its box instead. The box was white and was in a shopping bag. Weird. I started trying to figure out what that could have meant.

I then was outside in the daytime. I saw a huge, clear, beautifully vivid rainbow. I was with someone, my dad I think. He was standing in front of and facing me. I told him to turn around and look, because I could see that the rainbow was about to fade. The sun started to set very quickly as the sky turned orange and red. The rainbow's colors darkened but were still vivid. My dad turned to look, and the rainbow started to morph. The top of the rainbow started to break up and turn until it was a bunch of vertically-facing dark-colored bands sitting on top of the rest of the rainbow. My dad pointed out what was going on extremely matter-of-factly, but I can't remember what he said.

Dream - Lucid

I was with my friend Paul. It was somewhere that I was spending the night for some reason. We were upstairs in some kind of bonus room. The only light in the room was a desk lamp at a desk Paul was sitting at. I was really tired, and laying on the floor on some blankets. I had a pillow as well. Paul was sitting in a desk chair which was turned towards me. We had been talking, but I don't remember about what. At some point, he was even massaging my feet. I hoped that he didn't think they were gross.

Then, I was so tired, I just decided to close my eyes and go to sleep.

I was then...I'm not really sure. I was in some white room that looked futuristic. We may have even been in space. This is where I figured out that space velociraptors had taken over the Earth. It was sometime in the future. The world was also running out of its water supply.

Even though these space raptors had taken over the planet, there were plenty of humans left. The thing was, they were living in constant fear. If the humans went outside, they were fair game to be eaten. People were getting picked off one by one. It was a horrible state.

I was told by some guy that we had to go back and get some people. We were then on Earth (a couple of men and myself) in my backyard. It was quiet, and the sky was grey. I knew we didn't need to be outside, though there were no raptors in sight; being outside was risky business in these times. I saw my brother at some point; he was helping us out.

I was then in my house. I don't really know what we needed the people for, but I was in there to get them. I walked through my kitchen, and then into my living room. It was quiet; I didn't see anyone inside. I saw some of the people who came with me outside through the windows.

I then felt like I lived there. I felt scared for my life. I felt the fear of the people of Earth.

Suddenly, through one of the windows, I saw them. A pack of raptors was running through my backyard. They were red with black, stripe-like markings on their backs. My breath caught in my throat and I dropped to the floor on my hands and knees. I frantically tried to crawl away from the windows, and ended up seeing some more passing through the front yard through the windows in our piano room. I felt like their vision was based on movement, so I tried to be still as I laid low. One of the raptors looked around as it passed. I hoped it didn't see me.

I started to panic, and immediately became lucid. I tried to think myself awake, but that wasn't enough. I started to say it out loud.
"Wake up, Krista. Wake up. Wake up!"
At first it didn't work. I closed my eyes and opened them in the exact same scene I had been in before.

Then, I closed my eyes and opened them again, finding myself back in the room with Paul. I was so relieved, but extremely sleepy. I looked next to me and noticed that Paul was laying on his stomach reading next to me on the blanket that I was also laying on. On the other side of Paul was a small child, a little boy. I think it was his nephew. I thought Paul was probably trying to make a move on me or something, but I didn't really care at that point. I was so tired that all I wanted to do was sleep. I turned to lay on my stomach as I cuddled my pillow a little. I moved a little closer to Paul, in a way hoping that he would cuddle with me.

I then fell asleep again.

I was back where I had been, but I didn't feel as scared because I knew I was dreaming. Part of me just wanted to let the dream play out a little more, so I didn't really do anything to control it.

I was then on the Earth mission again, but I was at a different house this time. I knew I was dreaming, so I knew no one was in any real danger. I quickly decided to try to transform myself. I'd never done that before. For some reason, I decided to try to transform myself into Pikachu. Why I decided on Pikachu is absolutely beyond me. I concentrated for awhile, but it wouldn't work. I stood in front of a mirror to try to guide the transformation by watching myself. The best I got was one of my legs started to turn yellow at the thigh. I tried for my other leg, but no dice.

I then went away from the mirror and tried to shrink myself, seeing if I could do it that way. I shrank a little, but just ended up squatting on the floor. I then laid on my back to try to watch my legs shrink. Nope, no dice. Grr.

I was then in the white futuristic room again. I was told that the raptors had not originally come to kill, but when they got to Earth, they saw us and felt sorry for our species because we were so stupid and blind, and decided to take over the world and kill us. I also figured out that the world's water supply was pretty much out; someone said they didn't know for sure, but had heard someone on Earth, referring to the water, say
"Oh shit."

I then was at my college, about to play a woodwind concert for band. I was holding my clarinet. I was walking down a bright hallway, when I saw the trombone players start to walk towards me, going on to play the brass portion of the concert. I then saw Austin (my ex in waking life who really does play trombone). His hair was shorter and he looked a lot younger. He wasn't wearing glasses either, as he usually is in waking life. I walked right by him, and he looked right at me. I then noticed that he had gotten shorter....waaaay shorter. In fact, as he walked by me, I turned around and he had shrunken a TON. I figured it was an illusion and he did it to himself. On top he was wearing a suit jacket, white shirt and tie, but on the bottom, he was wearing these baggy black pants with tons of ropes or belts that went from one leg to the other. I figured he had used those to make it look like he was way shorter.

Embarrassed, I turned to a friend and said
"I can't believe I'm dating him."

Dream - Lucid

I felt myself moving into a dream. I wanted to sit up, but not until I knew for sure I was dreaming.

Everything was then very dark around me, like it was the dead of night. I saw a window in my room where it wasn't supposed to be. I kept saying in my head
"I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming."
I sat up, feeling no resistance, but then, I suddenly snapped back down like a rubber band.
Bummer.

~

I was in high school band again. I had my bass clarinet out, and I was playing it, just messing around a little. I was standing, then I was sitting in the band at some point. A girl I used to know, Cathy I think, was playing a tenor sax. She was just beginning to learn how to play it. I looked over at her. The tenor sax looked HUGE. I mean, those things are already pretty damn big, but this one was as wide as a tenor and as long as my bass clarinet.

I looked at my reed. I realized that this was the first time I had gotten my bass clarinet out since high school, and that I should have checked it out before just putting it together and playing it. Who knows what kinda gross shit was in there? I started to take it apart in the band room while talking to someone.

At some point, I talked to my old band teacher as well.

Dream skip.

I was about to see Chris again, for the first time in almost a year. Lots of things had changed; he was dating someone else and we hadn't really talked since January. I was really excited to see him.

Then, Chris was there. We were hanging out in an off-white room, I don't know where we were. I know everything was very clear and bright, like it was in the middle of the day. We were laughing and catching up, having a great time. I wanted so badly to tell him how much I had missed him, how much I wanted to spend more time with him. I wanted him to leave his girlfriend and come back to me, but I never said that. I couldn't bring myself to. Regardless, we did some hugging. It was nice.

Chris and I were then on a train. It was a strange train, as it ran on a single track that was raised up above the land, like a monorail. Below the tracks was green grass; we were in the country. The conductor wasn't there, so Chris had to drive the train. I was in there with him. The car was empty and colored grey steel. The only thing it had was a small steering wheel that looked like the steering wheel to a pirate ship, only smaller. I watched out the window as Chris drove the train. We took a curve and had a really close call; the train almost fell of the tracks, but Chris adjusted enough to fix it.

Then, I looked ahead on the tracks. There was a sharp curve coming up, and the track looked corroded. Chris did the best he could, but the train fell on its side and almost all the way off of the track. The right wall of the train fell out, and so did Chris. I rushed over as he was falling and grabbed his hand, saving him from falling to the ground some distance below. I had a rush of adrenaline as I did this, and felt the need to say something that had been bottling up the whole time we had been hanging out; the whole time we hadn't spoken or seen one another.
"I love you," I said.
He did not respond. What was I expecting?

I pulled him back up into the remnants of the train.

We were then suddenly on the ground below the rail. The ground was no longer grass, but a hard, greyish flooring was below our feet. An official-looking woman approached us. She had her blonde hair pulled back tight, and was wearing a suit.
"So far, 8 people were killed," she said, referring to the accident.
I stepped in and defended Chris, telling her that it wasn't his fault and the track had been corroded.

Then, we were back in that room we were in originally. In a way, it now reminded me of a kitchen. Chris got on the phone, a land line, and was talking to someone about how he would be in San Fransisco in a month. I then remembered that he was moving to Chile in a month (he is in waking life). I started to feel defeated. I couldn't believe I had forgotten that.