memorable

Dream - Lucid

I was in an elementary school front office. I saw many women working there, and many working on computers in the back. I walked up to my mom, who was one of the women working on the computers. I "remembered" that this was her job now. She seemed content.

Then, a girl at the front desk gave Dallas and I some drinks that looked like orange and red Kool-Aid drinks that used to come in the bottles (Kool-Aid Jammers?). She had stolen them to give them to us for the movie we were going to see. Her boss, a woman, asked her if she had stolen them. She said no, even though she obviously did.

We were then leaving so we could get to the movie on time. This is around when I became lucid.

I spoke to my husband for a long time. We spoke of past lives, I discovered he was in many. I asked about my mom, and saw an image of her as I did. I knew she was in some past lives as well; I knew before I even asked. A random DC appeared that had traditional African clothing on. I asked if he was in a past life, but he disappeared; he was just a regular DC. I remember something about the name Mary; it wasn't a coincidence that the people in my life have the names they do. I thought of all the Marys I knew (Mary Katherine is my best friend IWL, for example; I thought about this at this point in the dream). Dallas and I were on a lake at night for part of this dream.

I then was walking through a mall. I felt the dream was about to end. Before I woke up, I saw many stores with signs lit by neon green lights. I felt like this is where the movie theater was located.

~

I was determined to return to this lucidity to meet up with my spirit guide and find out his true form. I kept falling back into sleep and immediately being lucid, but I would wake again very shortly; the dream was not stable enough.

Finally though, I re-entered sleep and stayed. I was lucid immediately; I felt SP and saw the dream forming. I waited a little bit before I went and did anything; I knew I had to stabalize first and foremost.

The dream finally felt good enough for me to continue. To increase the stability a bit more, I examined my hands, and thought about what Hyu said to me about using your senses to increase stability. I used my sense of touch. I was walking through my family's kitchen, and felt everything I came across. I touched the counters, etc. The sensation felt a bit "muted" but it really did help. I thought for sure the dream would fall apart before this.

I then was inside somewhere, walking down a wooden hallway, when I knew that I wanted to see my spirit guide. At first, I said
"Dream guide appear!" but realized my error and corrected myself to
"Spirit guide appear!"
I then saw a shadow behind me. I looked behind me, and saw what looked like a girl I knew growing up named Jess.
"Wow, this is tricky," he said, referring to taking on other forms.
It didn't matter; I knew it was him. He looked like Jess, but had the voice of a man.

I then started to feel as if I was losing the dream. I said to my guide
"Please! Keep me in the dream!"
He held onto me and things started to stabalize again. This happened a couple of times throughout the dream.

We were then walking into a restaurant. It resembled a Cracker Barrel. We sat down at a table with a couple at it. He said to them
"Excuse me, may we join you?"
The table had dirty dishes and food on some of the dishes. We sat with them. We were across the table from one another. We were speaking, and I asked him his name.
"Mike," he said. He then called me "Bethany".
"Was that my name?"
"Yes, you were very proud of me," he said. He was referring to a past life we had shared together.
I had brief thoughts that he was a musician of some sort.
"Mike, may I see your true form?" This was part of my goal for an LD.
He replied, saying something about the way he would look, but I can't remember exactly what he said.

We stood up. He then started to change. His head went down into his shirt; it was kind of comical. He then emerged, mostly, having his now tuxedo shirt and jacket part way over his head, which was partially stuck inside the shirt.
He was a homely, red-haired middle-aged man. He was tall and skinny. I then asked him
"May I see what I looked like?"
I was then looking in a mirror on the wall. The mirror was a bit high for me (I'm quite short, even IWL). He instructed me on how to change my reflection. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I waved my hand in front of my eyes. In the mirror, I saw my eyes change. I kept going, and my whole face changed. I saw that I was missing a tooth also. I was a homely, kind-looking middle-aged woman with thin, fine wispy hair. I kept going even after this, and my face morphed into a rat's face. Oops, too far. I said something about this to my guide, and he joked about the rat face.

We were then sitting down again, and speaking of something, when my husband's alarm woke me up.

~

Alright, well I didn't end up going back to sleep after all, but I did get a chance to think a little more on this.

Before I went to sleep, I thought about becoming lucid, about situations that could induce lucidity, etc. I imagined it happening as I was falling asleep.

Wow, intention is such a powerful thing! I did not become lucid until early this morning, but that is the norm for my lucidity.

I do believe that I am finally starting to see the power of my mind; I am finally being able to tap into things that I once thought I would never be able to do. I am finally, finally coming into my own, and being able to use my intent, and actually believe that it's going to work instead of having doubt tower over me. This feels legit. I am absolutely amazed.

Now, I need to figure out what to do next. I think that I just need to let things flow, and when I meet my guide in my dreams, I'll know who he is now, hopefully, and that in itself will induce lucidity. I really hope that this journey I am on continues. I will, of course, keep you all posted.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, but it looked different. We were behind the counter. I was there with a couple of other people. There was one girl there who looked very tired. She had long, straight light brown hair and very tired eyes. She was probably about my age (25) or a bit younger. She needed a ride home from work. We got into my car. I was kind of tired too. The car was driving, but I noticed that I was sitting in the back seat with the tired eyed girl.
"I should probably be sitting in the front," I said to her. I stopped the car as we were going through this gate and got in the front seat.

Then, there was this lively old woman with us. She was quite energetic. She wanted us to drop her off on the side of the road so she could walk to her vehicle. We did just that. We got out though as well. We were walking on the sidewalk with this woman. She had a cane, but she wasn't using it. In fact, she started to jog! We couldn't keep up with her. We then were approaching her vehicle, or at least what we thought was her vehicle. It was a golf cart. It had a black bag with a big bow on it strapped over the seat. I thought she had been very trusting to leave that outside. Upon further examination, the golf cart had this HUGE control panel. It was so big, it took up the entire front window; you could not see out of it at all. I figured that maybe it drove itself. The old woman sat down in the seat, and was wondering how you worked it. I guess it hadn't been her vehicle, but a special vehicle that the public could use to get from place to place. There was a guy there that I assumed she was asking. We walked past her and the cart.

I dropped the tired girl off, but noticed something as I was driving. I noticed that the cart with the lady had not moved, but there were dead bodies strewn on the street by the car, about three or four of them. Holy crap, someone came and murdered them! I thought maybe a fight had broken out and gotten taken too far. I returned to the area where the cart was and saw what I had feared: The old woman was dead, along with a few others. I think I asked someone who was there if she was dead, and they said yes. I told them I had seen the scene from a distance. I started to cry.

Then, one of the people whom I thought was dead, a blonde guy who was probably in his twenties, opened his eyes. He looked like he was in so much pain. He said nothing, but his eyes told me everything. I was broken down crying now at this point, kneeling on the ground. I started to stroke the guy's knee to comfort him. I was so happy he was alive, but I still could not stop crying. It was then that I noticed that all the other people were literally torn apart; I saw someone's head detached from their body, an arm, and other torn apart body parts. The man with his eyes open in front of me was the only one who was not torn to shreds.

~

I was going to my friend Cherie's apartment. It was daytime outside and sunny. My husband may or may not have been with me, I can't quite remember. I think we had just gotten back from a vacation.

We got to the apartment. It was much different than IWL. It was more of a town home than an apartment, and was white and clean on the outside. There were many others that looked the exact same, as you would see in a town home community. I went inside, and Jeremiah and Cherie' were there in the living room. I went into the middle of the living room.

Then, I noticed Cortney D., a supervisor from my old job. She was standing behind the couch (at this point the apt looked a lot like my current one IWL). I "remembered" that she lived in the same complex as Cherie'. She had her hair pulled back into a small ponytail, and was wearing a black shirt with a colored shirt (can't remember the color) underneath; it looked like an outfit she would wear to work. I was excited to see her, because I always really liked her, but was afraid she would be mad at me because of the way I quit. I got her attention, and she said
"Krista." She walked up to me with a sense of urgency. She continued,
"Why did you do that?!"
I tried to explain to her how awful that job was, how bad I felt we were all treated there, but she kept countering me, asking me what did I expect, it's retail. She then stormed out. I was sad that she was angry, and I kept thinking of other things I should have said, but none would have made her feel differently. I didn't understand how she could continue to settle for such a crappy job.

Other things happened after this. I remember leaving the apartment, but nothing else.

~

I was driving to my old college's campus in a new car. It was a dark grey sedan, and very nice-looking. I felt weird and tired. It was morning. I don't know why I was going there. There was some kind of big event taking place.

I parked in a gravel lot, and walked over to where the buildings were. I sat down on a bench underneath an overhang. I noticed that lots of college kids were walking around dressed up like it was Halloween. I saw people in knight costumes, and I think some Mortal Kombat costumes as well. I did not know what was going on.

I then realized that they were in the marching band, and today was the day that the college hosted Contest of Champions, a high school marching competition, and that they always performed a show at intermission in their Halloween costumes (this is true IWL). All the college kids then started to dance with each other. It was like they were a flash mob; they all just seemingly spontaneously started to couple off and dance. I knew that they had planned it.

I got up to go back to my car. I went into the field where the cars were. There were many, many more now. I clicked my clicker on my keys, and some tail lights light up, so I figured I had found my car. But then, another man, an older, heavier black gentlemen, got in the driver's side. Whoa, I thought, there must be some mistake. I opened the trunk to the car, which was actually more like a minivan than a sedan. Not my car after all. I felt embarrassed for trying to get into another person's car, though he did not say a word to me about it. I kept walking.

I kept on clicking my clicker, and I noticed that when I did, other cars' headlights would flash. What the hell? How was I ever going to find my car now?

I then was at an impasse, literally. I had approached a fenced in area. The fence was wooden and old, and actually relatively short. The only way I could get to the other side of the fence was to open up the old wooden gate. I then called an old friend, Tori, and asked her about the car, because I knew that she had had a car like mine. She said that hers had done that too, unlocking other people's cars instead of hers. When I got off the phone with her, I went to go open the gate, but it was covered in spiderwebs! I could not get a hold on it without touching one. I saw the webs up close, and noticed that lots of ants had gotten caught in the web. I saw one get caught in it towards the top of the fence. Ugh. So gross...I hate spiders. So I looked all over the fence for a place I could touch it without getting web on my fingers, and there was none. I put my hand on it regardless, and immediately took it away again. I saw the holes in the web where my fingers had pierced it. I then briefly opened the gate, but I couldn't even go through it without walking into webs. It only opened on the bottom anyhow; I would have had to push to get it to open all the way. I considered climbing the fence. I don't remember if I ended up doing it or not, but I knew it was an unacceptable thing to do for some reason.

Then, I was in some sort of bakery/coffee shop on campus. The interior was all wooden, and since it was summer, there were only a couple of people there. I thought maybe it was closed for the summer. I then noticed the manager, a middle-aged woman, standing in the doorway talking with another woman who looked a bit younger. She was blonde with glasses. I thought to myself that the manager must have to be here every day, even during the summer when their hours were limited. The table I was sitting at was one with Eileen, a woman from my old job. She was a regular there. I think she was eating doughnut holes. She was talking to me about coming to that place every day for breakfast. I don't remember anything else from the conversation, but we talked a bit. I think I also ate a doughnut hole. It was glazed. I think they were homemade.

~

I was working on a project for a class at my apartment. I was working on it on the bed. It was supposed to be a circular cut out with whatever we liked to put in it in the center. I decided to do mine like a collage, with cutouts from magazines in it. I was going to put some pictures that I had of me, friends, and family on top of the magazine cutouts. I also was painting it. I had painted the edges of the circle green, but noticed I had gotten some paint on the sheets and on the pillowcases. Nothing I could do about it now, though. I painted some shades of blue on the inside as well, and noticed that I had made the top of the circle a light blue, and it gradually faded to a darker blue. It wasn't my intention, but I liked the way it looked.

I had made the inner circle separate from the outer. The outer was a cut out of some construction paper that I painted green. I made the entire inner circle, and put the outer circle around it to see if it had the correct measurements. It wasn't perfect, but absolutely workable. The outer circle was a little big or small at just one area, the bottom right corner. I knew it wasn't going to be a difficult fix. I think I asked my husband about how it looked. At this point, it kind of looked like a pokeball.

I kept thinking about the assignment, and wasn't sure if I was doing it right or not, but I didn't remember the teacher, who was the black man from my precious dream, saying anything too specific.

Someone else was then in the apartment, a girl who was also a student. I asked her something about the assignment, about the specifics. She wasn't sure either.

~

You might see my recall of last night and say "Damn, Krista, you must have gotten some good sleep to have all these dreams." That would be my first thought too, but I actually did not sleep well at all. I kept waking up every hour, and would have a lot of trouble going back to sleep. I know I dreamed way more than this too, but these are the only ones I remember. My husband also was having trouble sleeping, and he had a lot of vivid dreams as well. We made turkey burgers last night, and never have made them before. That's the only thing I can come up with for why neither of us could sleep, and we both had super vivid dreams.

Dream - Lucid

I was at Nick C's place, an ex of mine that IWL, I really hurt when I left him. I don't remember why I was there, but it had something to do with me playing the violin. Another person was there too. I could sense how upset Nick C was. He was frustrated and hurt. I was frustrated from the bad vibe in the room; him feeling bad was causing me to feel bad, too.

I was sitting at a cluttered kitchen table. I had brought the violin with me; I think it was Nick C's anyway. It needed to be re-strung; there were these new greenish strings sitting on it, just needing to be tightened into place. I think Nick C was going to do it, because I didn't know how.

I then "remembered" playing the violin in a rock band. At the time of the memory, I was still with Nick C. We were playing an indoor show. There was a crowd there listening. It had been my first time ever performing on the violin. Someone had come up to me and asked me to play louder because they couldn't hear me. Eventually, I gained more confidence and started to play more loudly. For my first time ever playing, I was actually doing a really good job.

Then, I came back to the present. I was too overwhelmed by the bad feelings, and had to leave. I said
"I'm leaving. I just can't be here anymore."
I considered taking the violin. I wasn't sure whether or not I should. I think Nick C said it was fine (despite the circumstances). I started to put it in its case. I threw something else in there as well, but I'm not sure. I'm also not sure how it all fit in the case, but it did. I couldn't play the violin, though, because of the strings not being attached.
I was close to the door, and was looking for my flip-flops. There were lots of shoes on the floor by the door. I finally found mine, a pair with a straw-like material on the foot with a black fabric outline around the edges (they actually resemble a pair I had when I was a teenager IWL). I slipped them on and went out the door.

I then was walking towards my car, which, in the dream, wasn't my car; it was an old, red car kind of like my husband's. I was walking through the yard to get to my car. Nick C was behind me. He said
"You know you're going to have to pay for putting me through all this, right?"
"Yes," I responded. I knew karma would balance things out eventually.

I then realized I wasn't holding my keys. No big deal, I thought, I'll just make them appear in my hand. I did just that, simply by thinking about my keys being in my hand.
The power of thought, I thought to myself.
I then sat in the driver's side, and Nick C got in and sat in the passenger's side. I then realized I also didn't have my purse. I did the same thing I did with my keys, and thought about it to make it appear.

~

I woke up around 5am to pee. I noticed a sound coming from the kitchen, and thought it was my coffee pot going off too early. I went to look, but it wasn't. I then went back to bed, and knew that this was a perfect opportunity for lucidity. I fell asleep after laying awake for a bit.

I was still working at Kohl's, though I don't know why, since I had quit and stopped showing up to work. I "remembered" my name still being on the schedule.

I wasn't at work though, I was with my husband, Dallas. We were at I guess what was supposed to be our place. We had ordered a game online, and it had come in the mail. I think it was a SNES game. I was opening the package, and the game had come with some skimpy hot pink and black Playboy pajamas, complete with bunny ears. It was like a bonus for buying the game. We were both excited. Free stuff rocks.

Then, I was waking up on a porch. It was very sunny; a beautiful morning. I wasn't quite sure where I was, though. I examined the view I had from the porch, and somewhere off to the east was a beach.

The beach triggered lucidity. I didn't even RC; I just knew. I then stood there for a second trying to remember my lucid goals. God dammit, I couldn't remember; it was like there was a block there. Not the first time that's happened, but I didn't want to waste the lucidity. I decided to go inside and get my husband. I hesitated before I opened the door, though; I did not want to lose this dream. I put my hand on the gold doorknob and went inside. I walked down the hallway, and felt the vividness fading a little. I rubbed my hands together, but it didn't really do much. I examined my hands instead, and it helped. I noticed one of my fingernails on my left hand looked as if it was sloppily painted with white nail polish.

I then saw my husband; his back was to me. I started to talk with him, and he faced me.
"This is a dream!" I said, as usual.
He didn't seem to believe me, and kept turning around and avoiding eye contact with me. I kept trying to convince him, but he just wouldn't hear it. Oh well, whatever. I decided to just go explore on my own.

I was then outside, walking through a lightly forested area with many pine trees. I noticed that Dallas had come along after all; he was behind me. I then decided to test my power of thought, and held my hands out to either side of me to fell the trees. I thought my intention to make them fall, and, behind me, as I passed them, I heard them creaking as they fell. Neat.

Then, we were on a paved road. I was barefoot; I could feel the hot pavement underneath my feet. There were children about, playing in the street. A car started to come. One little girl in a red dress with black polka dots was lagging behind the rest of the children, who were running to the side of the road for safety. I thought she was going to get hit, but she got sideswiped, and her clothing got caught on the side of the car. The car kept driving with this girl attached to the side of it.

We kept walking. I then decided to try to find my dream guide, which has, over the years, proved to be a futile search. I yelled
"Dream guide, if I have a dream guide, please appear!"
Nothing. Of course. As usual. I started to climb over this small grassy hill on the edge of the road to see if my guide was on the other side.
Nope.
Dallas then said
"Krista, it's not working."
I knew he was right; I have suspected for awhile now that I do not have a dream guide. I am, in fact, my own dream guide. It makes sense when I think about it. Not everyone has separate dream guides, after all.

We were then standing by some stairs. I was trying to think of something else I could do. All these children started to play around us, and I couldn't concentrate. One of them was the girl who got sideswiped by the car; I remember the dress.
"Go away!" I said. I needed to think. They all started to go down the stairs.
I then looked up at the sky, and noticed dark clouds coming in quickly. It was very vivid and beautiful, but I knew a storm was coming soon.

I then had an idea of what I wanted to do.
"Spirit guide, please appear!" I said more than this, but I can't remember specifically; this is the gist of what I said.
Dallas then immediately stepped in front of me.
"I am your spirit guide," he said. I was a little surprised. I then noticed that there were two Dallases there: The one standing in front of me who had spoken, who looked just like my husband, even down to his clothes, which were his IWL work clothes, and one standing off to the side, whose face looked slightly different from my husband's.
"What? Are you really my spirit guide?" I inquired.
Then, I noticed a huge, white cloud was coming down from the sky. It morphed into the shape of a hose vacuum cleaner. It sucked up a car. The car quickly went into it. I knew we were next, and that this was the end of the dream. The cloud laughed an evil laugh, and turned to us, and started to suck us up into its depths. We flew up into it, and I heard a weird noise as I was waking up.

~

I was up and about to type out my dreams on DV. I went to the computer. The desk was way smaller than IWL, but I didn't notice in the dream. It was in the corner, and I wanted to move it in front of the window. It had something to do with the seat and where it was positioned; I didn't want to hurt my back.

I got on DV, and noticed I had already typed my dreams up. I even had 4 comments. I looked at the comments, and one just said "coupon protected". Ugh, a bot. I checked my email, and there was something about it in my email.

~

YAY FINALLY SOME LUCIDITY!! So stoked, even though I again did not remember my goals. I didn't meditate yesterday, but I did get to sleep in a little today; I don't have to work until 9am as opposed to the 7am shifts I've been working. I do think that meditating the other day did help, though. It helps me to clear my mind and any debris that's collected.

I was quite intrigued by what happened when I asked to meet my spirit guide. This is going to need some further investigation for sure. God, this was the longest lucid I've had in ages. It was very vivid and clear. I am super giddy this morning!

Dream - Lucid

I was at my old apartment, and a younger guy was living there. He looked to be about 20 or so, and had long, very curly dirty blonde hair. He was talking about how small the beds were at the apartment, and I agreed with him, telling him that I had to sleep on a pull-out couch, and Courtney C. had to scoot two beds together. I also told him that I got my own room to sleep in, while she had to sleep elsewhere in the apartment, even though she had her own room.

I then remember having to work. It was supposed to be at where I'm currently working, but I was having to greet people as they were entering this bungee jump ride. It was kind of like a video game at this point; it makes me think of Animal Crossing. Some of the people looked like they were made in that art style. Anyway, to greet them, I had to "click"on them, and they would say "Thank you!" in a little voice. It took me awhile to figure out how to greet them. Being greeted made them happy, and gave me points.

I then went back to my old apartment to sleep. I had to get up again in 4 hours to go back to work and work another 4 hours doing something else. When I walked in, the curly guy was in the living room fixing something. I thought that he was lucky that he didn't have to work a split shift. I went and took my Ambien to go to sleep, and laid down in the bed.

Then, I woke up for work again. I couldn't remember what my task that night was. I was thinking customer service, but that didn't seem right. I got there, and then remembered: I needed to go to the hospital. It was my due date for my baby. So I went there, which it just so happened to be where work was, and went into this room that had a hospital exam table, a hospital bed, a TV that had the news turned on, and 3 or so other pregnant women sitting in it. It was a kind of holding area for pregnant women who may go into labor. My mom was there with me. Apparently, I wasn't actually due for another two weeks and was having signs of early labor, so they wanted to monitor me. If I showed signs of labor, they would have to do an emergency C-section.

Then, it was just me and the pregnant women in the room. I was wondering if it would be alright for them to give me pain medicine even though I'd already had an ambien 4 hours prior. I laid down on the bed and watched the TV a little bit. I also remember seeing my reflection in something at some point, and thinking to myself that I didn't look pregnant, and I hadn't looked it when I had my daughter a few years ago either. I wondered what happened to her; my mom had adopted her, but I hadn't heard about her in awhile. I figured my mom had adopted her out to another family. I thought to myself that I should remember what happened to my daughter.

Then, I started to feel something dripping down my leg. I looked and saw a bit of blood. I then had the urge to lay down on my back and start pushing; I felt a twinge in my belly urging me to do so. So I started to lay on my back, and thought to myself
I was so glad that she shared her pain pills with me.
It sounded like I was narrating what was happening to me. I'm not sure who gave me pain pills or when, I just know it was one of the expectant mothers in the room.
I then felt the pain pills; I felt woozy and high, but no pain. The nurses rushed in and said they were going to put me under for the C-section. I said something back, but I don't remember what. They said it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't remember. They put the mask to my face to put me out, and I breathed it in a few times. I was then out like a light.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the room again, but things had calmed down. I got up out of the bed, even though I knew I probably wasn't supposed to. I was careful not to exert myself too much since I had just had a C-section. I held the area on my tummy where the stitches were. The room was empty now; I was alone in it. I wanted to know where my baby was, if it was a boy or girl, if it was even alive...

The doctor eventually came in to talk to me. They said that the baby was alive, it was a boy, but they had to amputate one of his legs.
"Was the cord wrapped around it?" I asked, thinking for sure that was what it had to be.
"No, it was because of a birth factor," said the doctor.
He then explained birth factors to me, and they run on a sliding scale back and forth, and whatever the factor is on when the birth happens determines if the baby has anything wrong with them or not. My birth factor had been high, while a low one would have also been bad. It was ideally supposed to be in the middle.

The fact that my child had a severed leg made me remember all the dreams I've had about having to get a leg or foot amputated, or about seeing people with prosthetic limbs (IWL this actually is a very common dream theme for me, though it hasn't been lately until last night). I then wondered if it was the Ambien that I had taken all throughout my pregnancy that caused this.

Anyway, I was so glad that my baby was alive, despite the leg. I knew I would love him just the same, and raise him like he did not have a defect. I walked into the nursery to see him. He was in a chamber at the very end of the room that had caution tape taped around the inside of it. Below the chamber was a bucket with two severed legs in it, although my child had only had one amputated. They almost looked like baby doll legs. There was a little blood. I wondered if that was just the holding chamber for severed legs.

I then was back in the holding area, and my husband came in. He was excited that I had had the baby! He asked if it was a boy or girl, and I said boy. His face lit up, and he got really excited. I had never seen him so excited about anything! I then told him about the leg. It seemed to slightly temper his excitement, but he was, like me, just glad the baby was ok. I imagined holding the baby, and putting him on my shoulders to play with him. I wondered if it would be different to do so because he had one leg.

I was then shopping with my mom at Kohl's for some baby supplies. I knew I needed bottles, so I went and found a package of three colored bottles that had Disney character head cut-outs at the nipple. I saw Mickey and Donald, but noticed that the third bottle was missing. I then picked up the package, and noticed that the Donald bottle had water in it. I told my mom that I had wanted to get those, but not if they had been used and were missing a bottle. I didn't see any more, either; it appeared to be the last one.

Wow, this dream was so vivid. Again, barely any sleep, but when I did sleep, holy crap. Definitely a memorable dream.

Dream - Lucid

My grandpa was still alive, but he knew he didn't have much time left. I was with him, my mom, and my aunt Marge, though I feel as if there were more people there too. They were all very sad about him dying, but he was at peace with it, and was trying to make the most of his last moments.

I was then somewhere else, though the situation had not changed. I opened a door, and saw my grandpa sitting in a chair at the head of a table. His hair appeared different than it ever was IWL, with streaks of red, some blonde and maybe brown as well, though the red is what I really remember. I then caught a quick glimpse of my mom and aunt, who were sad and not wanting him to go. I feel like they were asking him, pleading with him not to die. He looked at peace.

My aunt Marge closed to door. I wasn't supposed to be there for some reason.

~

I was at my old job, which was a department store. It was nighttime. I was in the building with a few other associates.

I was over by the women's fitting rooms, when I saw some lava leaking from a crack that it had caused in the wall. I remember going back to it a little later, and more was coming out. I started trying to cover it with clothing, but, of course, the clothing just caught fire and burned up. I felt as if we were trapped.

I then had another idea. I went to another fitting room with another associate, and we started looking for fire retardant clothing. We looked through lots of packaged pajama sets that normally the store receives around Christmas. I went through lots of red ones. Then, a supervisor, Charles, came up to us.
"Those aren't going to work," he said.
I imagined the fitting rooms slowly filling with lava.

Someone went back in the fitting rooms a little later to get something, and I was surprised when they came back out, because some time had passed, and I figured it was filled with lava by now.

Then, I was close to the front of the store by the doors, when Ashley, another associate and my IWL friend, came back in. I asked her if there was a way out, and she said no, there wasn't. I imagined it outside, us surrounded by lava or erupting volcanoes. I knew we were doomed to die in the building. We all knew.

I then approached Jaime, a manager, and asked her if she had anything strong we could take. If we were gonna die slowly, may as well not be able to feel anything. She took a silver package of these big pills out of her purse. They were Percoset, a strong pain killer (never taken them IWL). She gave one to me, one to Ashley, and took one for herself. The pill was wrapped in another piece of plastic besides the silver packaging, but it was supposed to dissolve when you took it. I put it in my mouth to swallow it. It immediately tasted very bitter. I tried to swallow it, but it was such a big pill, it was proving to be difficult. I really wanted the bitter taste out of my mouth. Before I swallowed it, I already started to feel the effects of the pill. I figured it was a fast-acting pill for those who were in major pain. I remember Jaime chewing her pill. I didn't understand how she could stand the bitter taste.

I woke up for a little bit, then went back to sleep, entering the same dream.

The pill was in full effect now, and I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked down at the tiled floor, and the designs on the white floor tiles appeared to be oscillating. Yeah, definitely feeling the pill. I stood up, and then, even though I did not feel the need to pee, I kept peeing. I peed a lot.

~

I was at the department store I used to work at again, setting up some display on the endcap of a register. It was almost Christmastime. I thought to myself that it seemed so soon for Christmas; it felt as if we had just had it. I remembered the year prior with my husband, who was then my fiance. It seemed like just yesterday.

Then, Ashley walked by. She was wearing a black maxi skirt that was slightly sheer, but only at the legs, and a black top. She said
"It's been a year, and I'm going to be possessive of you, _____, and _____." I can't remember what else she said besides me.
Apparently, Ashley was my wife. She had some issues about Christmas; something about the holiday made her feel insecure. I understood this, and was not upset by it. I just wanted her to be happy. I "remembered" kissing her, and thought about how I never thought I would marry a woman, and how my family never saw it coming either. But I loved Ashley; she was my wife.

I then "remembered" driving to see her the prior year on Christmas, and taking pictures of the road on my way and sending them to her. I remember one in particular of the interstate in front of me. I was in the far left lane, and there was a metal chain-link fence on the divider. I think a semi-truck was also in the picture.

~

I was walking through a city in the daytime. It was sunny out. It reminded me of a video game. I was with my husband, Dallas. The objective of the real-life game was to kill the governor. I had a shotgun on me.

Dallas and I split up at some point. I was walking the streets alone, searching for the governor. I feel like I encountered some people and talked to them, but I can't quite recall. I noticed my husband's absence, and wondered where he was.

I then approached a building and entered it. It was a library. I was standing in the huge foyer. There was a service desk in front of me, and behind it, glass windows looking into a room with computers and books. The floors were dark wood, and the lighting was sort of a "mood" lighting, not too dim but just right. Immediately, I recognized this library as one from a dream I had years ago, and knew I was dreaming. The dream quality instantly started to suffer, so I concentrated on my hands so as not to lose lucidity. My hands were changing as I looked at them, turning into baby hands and sprouting extra fingers. I walked as I kept focus on them, and the dream seemed to stabalize.

I approached a young, tall, skinny girl standing at a podium. She looked to be in her early teens, and had dark hair pulled back into a ponytail.
"What's your name?" I inquired.
"Jaime," she responded.
"Jaime, are you a real person, or are you part of my mind?"
"Part of your mind," she responded with a smile. As she said this, she stepped out from behind the podium.

I then went somewhere else, up some stairs I believe, and into a very crowded hallway with a balcony overlooking the foyer. It was circular and stretched around the edges of the room. I approached a blonde boy, probably about the same age as Jaime, and found out his name was Josh. He didn't really seem happy. He reminded me of someone I met IWL at my old job. He had the same name as well. He looked similar too, though much younger. I was having trouble getting him to look at me in the eye. I took his shoulders in my hands and said something to him, though I can't remember what. I was trying to get him to see something.

I then was not sure what else to do with my lucidity. I didn't feel like I had much more time. I could not remember any goals I had prior to falling asleep. So I decided to do something I actually haven't done in a long time in my dreams: Fly. I took a running start, and people started to look, telling their friends to look because I was going to fly. I ran up and down the hallway a few times before I decided a running start wasn't the best way for me to do this. I leaned over the balcony. I saw all the people across from me on the other side of the hallway, and everyone below me in the foyer. I wasn't sure about this, since I had not done it in so long, but I let myself fall from the balcony. I then flew. Everyone was cheering me on. I was going very fast, however, and felt out of control of my speed, though I could rise and fall when I pleased; when I thought about going higher, I would, and when I thought about going lower, I would. I was just going so fast...

The cheers then started to slow way down, like when a record is slowed down. I had an FA in my bed. I kept my eyes closed for awhile, but finally decided to get up out of bed, because I was hearing what sounded like someone peeing, or water trickling into water. When I went to get up, however, I noticed that my feet were already touching the floor, as if I was half standing, and half laying down in my sleep. I got all the way up and walked down the hallway. I noticed my husband standing in the guest bathroom doorway. The lights were off in there. That's odd, I thought he went to work. I got closer and noticed his shorts were pulled down, and he was peeing. Is he sleep peeing?

Upon getting closer, I noticed he was peeing in my cat's water dish! My cat, Belle, was just standing there too, watching. I started getting really pissed at him (no pun intended), and yelled at him for doing that. I know that he and my cat don't really get along, but seriously?? I started yelling at him to stop, and asking him how he would feel if someone peed in his water. He said something smart-assy back to me. As I was raging, he started to walk away into the kitchen, which was much, much bigger than our IWL kitchen, which actually brought me to lucidity for a second, but I was so angry that I lost the lucidity in my rage. I noticed that the kitchen had chopped up potatoes all over it; the counters and every surface were covered. I knew he had done this just to spite me. I asked him if he was going to clean it up, and he shook his head no. I was so fucking angry. I went into the guest room, which also looked much different, and tried to slam the door, but the coat rack on the top prevented me from doing so (this does happen IWL). Ugh, I was so angry!

Then I woke up for real.

~

Ugh, I can't believe I couldn't remember what I wanted to do with my lucidity. Maybe another night. I'll just keep incubating my ideas, and hope that they come through into my dreams. Glad for the lucidity though! Woot woot!!

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, standing behind my register, though it looked more like a grocery store mixed with the department store I work at. We were ungodly slow. My manager came up because I guess I had a problem with something, and I asked her how she was doing as she helped me ring up someone's stuff. She said "Good, you?" I responded with the same, saying I was good. We then worked in silence, and she came across some sweatpants with more than one security tag on them..3 to be exact. She didn't seem to notice them, so I pointed them out to her. We traded places and I got the tags off. She told me I was doing a good job at some point in all this, and I said thank you. I also remember looking at my computer screen and seeing that I hadn't gotten any credits, but I had gotten 7.7 emails. I thought that the 7.7 was kind of weird. I couldn't think of how that could happen...

Then, back to the slowness. I kept falling asleep behind my register it was so bad. Something then happened with my computer, and it was acting funny. I kept typing things in, and I'd see logos from other stores, like Toys R Us, advertising sales and such.

I then realized I was dreaming. I typed in a whole bunch of things in the computer to see what would come up. No matter what I typed, I'd get some sort of logo. I remember typing some inappropriate things, though I can't remember what.

I then went to go look around. There were other people in the store as well. I saw some hand soaps on display, so I decided to pick some out. I picked out a pink one with a butterfly on the label, and some others. I read the labels, but I can't remember what they said. I had my arms full with all the soaps I picked out; I needed a basket. I tried to pick up this teal basket that was for sale, but my arms were too full to get it. So I thought to myself "When I turn this corner, there will be a basket". I concentrated on this thought, and then, I started to notice buggies that were empty and laying around. I noticed a smaller black one that resembled the ones we have in the store IWL. It was by a frozen goods section of the store. It was made for a child to sit in it as well. I thought that one was perfect. I put the soaps down into the child's seat and started to roll the buggy through the aisles.

I then saw the back of what looked like my friend Caitlin's head. She was also rolling a buggy around and shopping. I passed her, then turned around and saw that it was, in fact, Caitlin. I said
"Hey, girl!"
She replied
"Hey!"
And I started to walk next to her. I then said to her
"You know this is a dream, right?"
and she replied,
"Yes."
I then said
"You know you are in my dream, right? Our minds are touching."
She replied with
"Yes. I have my theory on that. Minds can only touch for 2-3 minutes."
I liked that answer. This rarely happens with DCs for me; usually they stare blankly at me when I mention the fact that we're dreaming.

I guess we decided to take advantage of the 2-3 minutes, because Caitlin then said
"Follow me!", and she started to run.
I ran after her. We were in the back of the store by the beer. In that section, the floor was made entirely of beer can boxes. I had a good speed until I hit the boxes, and then I could barely run. She seemed to be having no trouble, however. She turned a corner into an area that returned to the normal, tiled floor. She was laughing, so I guess she was having fun.

Then, we approached a wall. I wanted to go through the wall with her, though I knew our time together was running short. I rolled my buggy to the wall, and pushed it. It went straight through with no problem. I asked Caitlin to go with me, but she seemed reluctant because the time limit was running short. I convinced her to follow, however, and I went through the wall first, with her behind me.

We were then in a dim, alley-like hallway. I walked ahead and turned a corner. I looked behind me, and she was no longer with me. Oh well. I walked ahead, and approached a pitch-black area. I felt very unnerved; there was something there...

I then woke up briefly, and did not move or open my eyes, and ended up in another dream. I knew I was dreaming upon entering it, seeing as I had DEILDed. I was now in a dim-dark area, staring at my reflection in some glass double doors. My expression in the reflection was very frightened. I was also wearing an off-white, knitted winter hat resembling one I own IWL. Hmm...the expression did not change.

I examined my surroundings, and I was standing in front of some store. There was a whole row of glass double doors in front of me. Behind the doors, I could see nothing but black. Below me, on the ground, was a tiled surface.

I then heard footsteps on the tile, and a male voice from behind the door.
"Could someone please let me out?" it said.
I opened the door, and stared into the blackness. I heard the steps coming closer, and I briefly panicked, and backed away from the door.

I then thought to myself
"This is a dream. Whatever is there can't hurt me."

I approached the door again, so I was standing right in front of the abyss. A tall shadow in the shape of a man approached me. He then lunged at me, knocking me back. He was on top of me, almost "one" with me; he was a shadow after all, and had no mass. I felt this intense blow of panic and fear as I was knocked back and he was on top of me/with me/trying to merge with me. I then woke up.

Epic dream was epic. I have had quite a few epic dreams lately, actually. However, I am very busy at school and literally have no time to write anything down. I will keep up with this the best I possibly can, but the updates will probably be few and far between. I will tell you that I have been having a surprising number of lucid dreams lately. I think it is the new meds I am on that are causing this epicness, or at least they are aiding with it. You don't see me complaining!

Dream - Lucid


Vampires turning other people into vampires. That's all I recall on this one.

~

We were having a huge Thanksgiving at my house, not just with my family, but people I went to high school with as well; it was like we were having a high school reunion on Thanksgiving. It started out with just my family being there though. I remember my uncle being there, but no other specifics.

The dining room table was set, and people started to show up, coming through the front door. I can't really remember specifics, not until Nick B. and Olivia showed up. I saw Nick B.'s sister, Rachel B., come in as well. Nick B. was the first guy I ever kissed IWL, and Olivia and I have never gotten along (Nick B. would go back and forth between us in middle school). Olivia looked as I remember her in high school, though she looks quite different now IWL. They walked in when it was already pretty crowded, letting themselves in as everyone else had been doing. I caught a glimpse of Nick as he walked by with Olivia behind him, but he would not make eye contact with me, which wasn't really surprising, but...why was he at my house, at this reunion, if he wasn't going to at least say hello? I kept on catching glimpses of him, but no matter how many times I'd look right at him, he would not make eye contact; I was being completely ignored.

Then, I went into the dining room, and there were many people sitting and standing around the table to eat; there was certainly not enough room for everyone to sit down, much less convene in the dining room. I thought about this for a second. I remember sitting down at the table for a little bit, but then, I got really upset about being completely ignored by Nick B., so I got up with my plate and went and sat in a closet with floor-to-ceiling shelves that were full of stuff in a room that doesn't exist in my house IWL. I sat with my back to a wall and my knees to my chest, and just cried.

My uncle then came by the closet, and asked why I was eating alone. I don't remember much of this exchange, but I found out that most of the people had left. I guessed it was because they were going to spend Thanksgiving with their families. I remember going into the dining room and seeing significantly less people. Nick B. and Olivia had also left, I assumed.

I then was out looking for Nick in what I suppose was supposed to be his neighborhood (looked nothing like it does IWL). I was walking the street; the sky was grey, but it was daytime. I didn't see anyone out.

I then spotted Nick B. a bit in the distance. I went after him; I had to find out why he had even come to the reunion at MY house if he was going to just ignore me. I also wanted to find out why the hell he had Olivia with him...again, in MY house. I caught up with him and got his attention. I started to ask what was up, and he just looked at me and kept going. I followed him, badgering him with questions; I was determined to find out what the hell was going on. He would not answer me. He went up the driveway to a house, towards the garage, and I followed him, continuing to ask him what was wrong and why he was ignoring me. He stopped and started to work with something in the driveway, though I don't remember what it was. I kept asking him over and over. He would talk to me, but barely. He never provided me with an explanation for his actions.

Someone then came up to him and said something to him. They then left. That seemed to get him to talk to me some more for some reason. We then seemed to be on a sidewalk leading up to a front door on the other side of the street. I asked him why he had brought Olivia, and he said she told him if she brought him, she'd do some "sexual favors" for him. As he was saying this, he was looking down at a piece of notebook paper that had been folded up at some point. It made more sense now as to why he brought her. He talked a bit more to me, but I never really got a solid explanation as to what was going on.

Dream - Lucid

I was walking around with a life-like baby doll in my arms, but I was acting like it was a real baby. There were many other people around in the area I was in, which, I honestly have no idea where that was. I think it was in a big mall or department store or something. I remember having to change the baby doll's diaper, and being confused as to how to do so. I stood there with this baby doll who had a dirty diaper on, trying to think of who to ask about changing it.

I then realized that this was a baby doll, and that I was just practicing for when I had my real baby, which I was pregnant with. It was Jake's baby. I looked down and rubbed my belly. I was showing a bit, and, underneath my hand, I could feel the new little life moving. I felt the outline of her body. I got really excited about being pregnant! I exclaimed to someone that I could feel the baby. I then looked at myself in a mirror, and saw my baby bump. I felt really giddy!

My joy then immediately turned to worry; I started to fear losing the baby. I was afraid that any little thing that made me panic or get angry or something would cause me to miscarry.

I then started to tell people that I was pregnant and that I was excited for my little girl to come into the world. No one responded. I remember even telling a girl I'm acquainted with IWL, Maegan, but she just stared at me like everyone else. I also remember calculating my due date, which came out to be sometime in March, but that didn't seem right for some reason, as if it was supposed to be later than that.

~

I was at my house. It was Thanksgiving, and family kept coming over. I was standing in the living room when my ex, Chris, and his girlfriend came through the door. They sat down on the red chair that's in the corner of the room.

Um...what? Who invited them? I thought maybe my mom did. I know I sure didn't, but no one said anything.

I was then upstairs with my brother. We were in the bonus room, when Chris brought us a tray with a small silver bowl of what looked like chicken broth up to us. He said it was soup, and set it down. It only looked like broth to me, not soup; I was skeptical. My brother started to eat it. I then heard Chris from downstairs telling his girlfriend he had saved all the chicken and rice for them.

Uh, no, this isn't cool. I stormed downstairs and into the living room. There were other relatives in there sitting on the couch I believe, but I didn't care. I was kicking Chris and co. out. I stood firmly in front of the couple, who were both sitting in the same small chair, and said, sternly and forcefully,
"Get out of my house. What are you even doing here anyway? And was that our soup?"
He said no, it was their soup. I then said
"Well, that doesn't matter. You're in my house. And I'm kicking you out. Go!"
They stood up and left. Thank God. But I still couldn't figure out why they would want to spend Thanksgiving at my house. That had to be awkward for them, too.

I was then working, but it didn't look anything like work, though I was doing the same thing. I was working behind a very long cash register counter, about the length of the room we were in, with some other people. A middle-aged lady with very short blonde hair came up to me and this other girl with lots of jewelry and a check. I can't remember what she was trying to do, it was something complicated, and she was trying to explain to us what it was, but the girl I was with took her small, flimsy light brown wallet from the counter and opened it, saying her ID wasn't in there and we needed her ID for what she wanted to do. I took over and started to calmly ask some questions to see if we could sort everything out. The people next to me behind the counter then took over and started to ring her up on their register. Well, I guess that takes care of that.

I was then in the same building, but I was leaving work now. Chris was there for a little bit, and I told him why I got so mad.
"I heard you talking about the soup," I said.
He said "Ohhh..." as if it made sense now as to why I was so mad, you know, besides the fact that he brought his girlfriend into MY house on Thanksgiving.

Ahem. Anyway.

Chris was then gone, and I was standing with a short, stout middle-aged woman who was supposed to be Chris's girlfriend's mother. I felt really awkward when she started to talk to me like we were friends. I talked back to her, and was polite and nice, but I didn't exactly know what to say besides making small talk.

We were then waiting on an elevator. A small screen popped up in front of us of a cartoony, poorly-drawn picture of his girlfriend, with "Ji's" written above it in bubbly, black block letters. It was supposed to be Chris's Facebook profile picture, and "Ji's" was a business or something. The mom stared at it longingly. I felt even more awkward.

The elevator then opened, and we stepped inside. She started to tell me about how she was moving to Knoxville. I told her she better make sure she had all of her stuff together, and she said she knew, and just kept talking about it, and that she had to move around a lot. I thought that maybe she was in the military or something. She was talking to me as if I was any other person. I felt a little better about it then.

She then commented on the fact that the elevator wasn't moving, as if someone had hit the emergency stop button right before our floor. The door then opened to an outside area. The area was lit, but looking up at the sky, you could see many stars; it was nighttime.

I also remember seeing a flash of a white screen with black writing that quickly streamed by on it at some point. I remember it said something about love, "Love is not ____." (can't remember that last word) was one of the sentences in the stream of writing that whisked by my vision, or something like that. Whatever it was, it was saying something about what love wasn't.

Dream - Lucid

I was in some weird, mostly white, circular room. It looked kind of like a lounge or something. It was supposed to be DV I think. There was a big pillar in the middle of the room. Lots of people were milling about. The Sandman was the one I remember by name. The rest, I'm not sure who they were.

I was very suspicious of The Sandman, and many of the other men there, mainly the people who were supposed to be The Sandman's male friends. I remember him and his friends being older men, and his friends being in business suits. The Sandman, however, resembled my dream guide, having shoulder-length brown, scruffy hair, and a mustache.

Anyway, I was suspicious of him and his friends, because there was a murder, and I suspected one of them. I would listen to them talk and stuff. I think they knew that I knew I suspected them, so that made me even more anxious about the whole thing.

I was then driving through my neighborhood, towards the entrance/exit. It was nighttime. A possum ran out in front of me on its hind legs. I started saying "Get out of the way, possum!" and stuff like that (like I do IWL ), and I narrowly missed him. I then saw a bunny and her babies in someone's yard that had just crossed the road. I was nowhere near hitting them. But then, more started to appear, mostly baby bunnies. They were all scattered in the road, and I was so afraid to hit them. It eventually was to the point where they were EVERYWHERE. I remember hearing one of the bunnies "screaming", as if they were in terrible danger. It sounded like a loud cat's meow.

I then was out of the car, and kneeling at the side of the road by someone's yard next to a bunny family. I remember lots of white baby bunnies at this point. I went to touch the mamma bunny, and accidentally touched one of the babies, who was apparently a newborn, because it felt slimy, warm, and hairless. I was afraid that now, the mamma bunny would reject the baby.

I was then washing my hands in my bathroom at my house. I finished, and saw a white baby bunny in my sink. How it got there was beyond me. I thought maybe he had been stuck to my hand or something, and I hadn't noticed. It looked dead at first, but upon further examination, I discovered that it was still alive, but barely. I looked down at the small, slightly damp bunny, and asked
"Are you dying?"
The bunny nodded.
I then either asked if it knew where its mamma was, or if there was anything I could do, and it shook its head no.

I then was in the DV place again, only this time, it was a section that had an indoor pool. I was getting angry at The Sandman's friends, though now, they looked like older teens/in their 20s. I remember one having a shaved head. I tried to flip them off, but my finger just wouldn't work right. I had to pry it up with my left hand, and still, I couldn't hold it up. Ugh, so frustrating! I was walking after them, still yelling and being angry, when they went through this purple set of doors that just seemed to appear out of nowhere on the wall. The doors had windows on them, and I could see them peeking through the windows, looking at me. I then decided to moon them. I knew I'd probably get in trouble with someone, but it was going to be so worth it. I turned around and pulled my pants down, and exposed my bare ass to them for a second or two before I pulled them back up and walked away, not looking back at all to see their reaction. I felt really, really satisfied with myself. I was thinking about the small birthmark on my butt and whether or not they saw it.

I then was heading over towards my friend Courtney, who was in the pool I believe. She was trying to leave; she was moving away (she just moved to Ohio IWL). I almost felt like she was trying to get away from me. She went up the ladder to get out. I talked to her a bit. She was disappointed in me for mooning those guys (she had seen the whole thing from her spot in the pool). But the conversation started to get much friendlier.

~

I was on campus at my old college, walking into the cafeteria area where I had that last job that didn't work out. I had no idea why I was going in there; I didn't want a confrontation with any of the employees. The restaurant I worked at was right next to the entrance, and in the hallway right outside, there's a door that goes into the back area of the restaurant. An additional hallway that doesn't exist IWL was there too. It's hard to describe in words.

Anyway, I walked into the cafeteria area, and saw that it was very vacant. It must be around 10am, when many of the restaurants are still trying to open up. There was a fat lady whom I didn't recognize at the cash register. She was wearing a black shirt, and looked to be about middle aged. Her darker blondish hair was up in a short ponytail. Whew, someone I didn't work with or recognize. I figured she was my replacement. I then wondered if everyone else I had worked with, including my manager since I didn't see her, had also quit (wouldn't be surprised...the turnover rate there is very, very high IWL). As I turned to look directly at the fat lady, I fell down onto the floor.

I then walked in the back. I didn't even know why I did it in the dream. I thought that the people back there would recognize me, and that I wasn't supposed to be back there. However, I don't remember even seeing any people back there. It was vacant, like the dining area.

Then, again, I was suspicious of a murder, but it was in a different setting: My house. The Sandman was no longer involved, but people who resembled his older friends from the last dream were still there. I was super suspicious. The guys would apparently come to my house sometimes and chat with my mom. They worked with and really supported my dad.

I then remember being in the car with the suspected murderer, a middle-aged man with a shaved head. He was driving, and I was in the passenger's side seat. I hinted that I knew he was the killer.

I was then in the porch, and I walked out into the kitchen. There was a girl there, one that looked to be a bit younger than me, so probably about 20-22 or so. In the dream, I knew her, but not too well. We were talking, and I started to talk about Emilee, a girl I went to high school with who was killed in a drunk driving accident a few months ago IWL. Emilee had apparently been really close to this girl. Her eyes started to water as I talked about her. Mine did as well; it was a very tragic topic. I told her that I had to serve Emilee's alleged murderer every day at the coffee shop (I guess I still worked there in the dream). IWL the man behind the wheel of the car she was in was her age, and has many charges stacked against him. In the dream, it wasn't a car accident, but she was the victim of a cold-blooded murder. And the man who did it was the guy I confronted in the car, the one who helped my dad. I think I was one of the only ones who suspected him.

I then was in the living room with my mom. I was sitting on one of the red chairs we have in there. I squatted down onto the ground and lowered my voice as I started to talk. I asked her if she thought this bald guy, whom I called Drew (it was supposed to be my IWL acquaintance, Drew D.) who was now peeing in the bathroom (I could hear him peeing), was the killer. She said yes, but she also said he really backed my dad financially. I told her I had confronted him about it. I then heard him start to pee in the toilet again. I then thought about me being the next victim, my name being in the headlines as "The Anderson's girl" being killed.

Dream - Lucid

I was laying on a hospital bed. I had just gotten my right leg amputated below a bit below the knee. Interestingly enough, in the dream, I had gotten it amputated before this, and given a metal prosthesis, but then, they put my real leg back on after only a few days. I "remembered" something about being with the old manager of the coffee shop I used to work at, Andrew, with my old prosthetic leg, before they put my real, organic leg back. But now, they had to amputate it again. They had already put the metal prosthetic leg on me as well. I'm not sure what the purpose of all these leg procedures was, but I knew they were necessary.

I was walking around with this new prosthesis. It felt weird, like I was still feeling the ground below my prosthetic foot through a phantom limb or something, though the feeling was a bit "muted" and off. I figured I'd get used to it with time.

I was worried about having a prosthetic leg, just because it was, well, a prosthetic leg and not my real one, but I pictured myself in shorts, wearing it with confidence. It was a really cool thought! I knew that I'd make it through just fine.

I then walked by my brother, who apparently, also had the procedure done; he too had a prosthetic leg. I think he was playing with some Legos or some kind of action figures. I asked him how he was holding up, and he said embarrassingly, or just not so well, something negative; he was not handling having the prosthetic well.

Throughout the dream, I walked on the prosthetic leg, each time feeling the oddness of my "phantom" foot as the prosthesis hit the ground. It was like I could still feel the leg, though it was gone.

Leg amputation is quite the common dream theme for me, though it has been awhile since it's recurred. An odd dream theme to be sure; I'm curious as to what it could be implying.

Dream - Lucid

I was watching something that looked like Pokemon with Jake on the TV in the living room of my house. It was nighttime, and I was gonna try to sleep, so I paused the show. Then, Jake unpaused it. We kept going back and forth like that, until I got irritated and told Jake I was trying to sleep, and that's why I was pausing it.

~

I was watching some movie, or was involved in some movie-like situation, where the woman who plays Dr. Cameron on House was a photographer, though she looked like the character she played briefly on How I Met Your Mother, Zooey. Yes, that's right, I was in the band again at my old high school. My old band teacher wanted some photos of apartments made. Apparently, this got done every year. My band teacher really liked her photography for some reason. She was supposed to be taking pictures of apartments for him. He started to look at them, and they were obscure pictures. Like weird pictures of inside the apartments. I remember one being of right outside the apartment, the stairs leading up to it and the sign above the door which read "APARTMENT".

Well, the band teacher didn't like that. He was looking for pictures of the apartments from a bird's eye view, not this weird abstract stuff. He fired her, and then, someone told her she was going to die at 25. She didn't believe it, since she was 24, but apparently, she did end up dying.

Leonardo DiCaprio was in there somewhere too, but I'm not sure where he came into play.

I was going to some high school reunion thing (IWL a couple of weeks ago I went to a brief choir reunion to sing the National Anthem at my old high school's 10 year anniversary, where they named the football stadium). I remember Kayla being there. I put my purse in a locker in the girl's locker room, which, in the dream, was underneath the stadium. Many other people were there as well. The lockers were very tiny, and I didn't have a lock, so I just put my things in a locker in the middle of the wall of tiny lockers and hoped for the best.

I also saw a girl I knew of in high school and actually met and had classes with in college, Megan H. In IWL, she's very conservative and Christian. In the dream, she was a photographer, and only put on the front of being very conservative and religious, though I seemed to be one of the only ones who could see that. She had apparently gotten in big trouble with the law at some point, like gotten arrested, but I'm not sure why. She still acted like her bubbly, Christian self in the dream, though it seemed almost strained. She came up to me with a smile and started talking to me. She was holding a camera.

Megan, Kayla, and I all went up into the stadium, which was HUGE and very packed with people who had gone to the high school in the past 10 years. It was nighttime outside. As we were walking, I heard the brass players that were on the field play this one chord, and I got annoyed, because they were going to start playing some silly song that they always played in high school (the brass sections were such goof-offs in high school IWL -_-). They were a few of the brass players that went to high school with me. I remember specifically a trumpet player named Micheal being down there. They were wearing their high school band uniforms.

We sat down on the far right edge towards the top of the stadium. Megan sat behind me, and I think Kayla as well. Megan started to talk and talk and talk to us. I turned around to listen. She started talking about weaves, and some black guy with, and I quote, "plastic in his hair". A big black girl with a weave and a white V-neck shirt that was sitting next to Megan (who btw is very white haha) turned to her and said "Mmmhmm!" as if she was agreeing. I then turned back around, and everyone around us was quiet and turned around staring at us, as if they were waiting for us to shut up so they could do the National Anthem or something. I felt a little embarrassed at first, but Megan kept obliviously talking, and I just ignored the stares since I had barely said a word; it was all Megan. I then thought about a waking life memory, how the choir alumni had been down there a couple weeks prior doing the National Anthem instead of the band alumni.

Then, I wanted to check my phone for the time or something, but it was dead. I would hold down the button, but it wouldn't turn on. I had had a feeling it was going to die, since when I had gotten there the battery was so low. I got up to leave during this part for some reason, when everyone was waiting quietly for the National Anthem. I was the only one getting up to leave. I started to go down a stairway that lead to underneath the stadium, but the dance team was under there doing some slow, almost interpretive dance, and then behind them, I saw pom-poms and only a little bit of the cheerleaders. I went down another way.

I was then back at the lockers, and lots of people were there again. Part of the wall and lockers had been removed, and you could see to the other side of the wall, which was the guy's locker room, I believe. It reminds me now of Minecraft; it looked as if "blocks" had been removed from the wall. I asked someone who did this, and I think they said some Freshman girl did it or something. At any rate, my locker was still there. As I opened it to grab my purse, I hoped no one had stolen anything. I felt the bottom of my purse to see if I could feel everything that was in there. I was especially checking for my wallet. At first, I didn't feel it, but then I did. Thank goodness!

I checked my phone again, and it was still dead. It came on very briefly, and then died again.

I was then riding home with Megan's family. Megan's dad was driving. We got into my neighborhood, and he dropped me off at where my street starts so I had to walk a couple houses down to get to my place. I got out, and was holding this blue notebook. Papers and folders were crammed into it and falling out. I was trying to get it all together, when I said to Megan's dad
"I've been unemployed for 9 months," and I said other things as well, but I can't remember what. We had been talking about how I'd been, I guess.
He responded with
"Good morning, Superman." He smiled when he said this.

I then woke up.

~

I was at my college again, but it was like it was mixed with Minecraft. I remember going through some caves, seeing obsidian and torches and some wooden doors. I saw lots of zombies too, and they would change appearance randomly with the light levels. I killed them.

Then, I was heading out of the cave and onto the campus. A tall, handsome, kind-looking Arab man then approached me. He didn't speak English very well. He offered me a single pink rose, and asked me to walk him to class. He told me his name, but it was something really complicated, so I can't remember it, and couldn't throughout the dream. Anyway, I took his hand, and I walked him to his class. We were walking over blocky, stone Minecraft terrain that was imposed on the campus. It was daytime outside. We talked while we went to his class.

This happened again too, where he found me standing at another cave entrance, and asked me to walk him to his class. He gave me another single pink rose, and we walked around campus to his class. He was so kind, a very sweet person whom I really enjoyed being around. This time, before we parted, I gave him a big hug. It was so warm and loving, a beautiful embrace. We lingered for a while, just hugging.

For a little bit, I thought about how JP had been represented in some of my dreams as an Indian or Middle-Eastern man. I then thought that this man was nothing like JP or the character that represented him, and carried on, walking by myself now that the Arab man was gone to class.

Then, he stopped showing up. I was really upset, because I knew it was because the dean of the school, who looked like my old high school principal, Mr. Nolan, didn't like him because he was Arab, which automatically made him "suspicious", as if he were a terrorist or something. I was absolutely furious. The area I was in at this point was cave-like, and had another, older looking Arab guy around, and some other people as well. I think I asked him where the other guy went. When I asked, I simply referred to him as Ahmed, because I couldn't remember his complicated name. I don't remember what he said, though I already knew what happened. I was going to take action; this was absolutely disgusting and ridiculous.

I went into the dean's office. Apparently, Mr. Nolan wasn't there that day, and the guy standing in for him looked kind of like an old assistant principal, Mr. Lichens, except for he had a bowl cut and was much skinnier than the real Mr. Lichens. He had the same color hair, red, and glasses though, as the IWL Lichens does. He looked up as I entered. I immediately started to go off. I began by throwing a small object, and yelling, filled with rage, (this isn't word-for-word, but it's as close as I can remember it)
"I quit this school! You bastards, Ahmed is not a terrorist! He is a nice person who just wants to learn! You're just afraid! Not every Arab is like Osama bin Laden!"
I'm sure I said some other things too. Lichens lookalike started to look angry the second I started to yell. I stormed out, and he immediately got on the phone with Mr. Nolan, telling him that I just quit the school, which I could hear through the door I had come through. God damn, I was angry. I was so very, very angry. It was so unfair that they did this! I turned around and yelled at the door, hoping he could hear me through it as I could hear him. I think I called them bastards again.

I was then standing with some people, one I remember being a girl named Melissa that worked at the job I recently quit. She was standing with another girl, apparently her partner. They were so in love, it was so sweet. I hugged Melissa, and she was whispering to me about how happy and in love she was with this other girl. I was very happy for them.

I was then getting some things out of a cubby in the band room from high school. My tennis shoes were in there. I thought about all the high school band kids there.

Dream - Lucid

I was at my house, in the living room. It was morning, and the room was dimly lit. My mom had just gotten back from Oregon. My brother, Blake, and his girlfriend, Sarah, were there too, but they were in his room, asleep still. My mom came in and started to bitch about Blake's girlfriend. I disagreed with her about what she was saying.

Then, I was in the kitchen with Blake's girlfriend, Sarah. She was getting something from the cabinet under the sink. She was talking to me as she did, I think trying to give me advice or help me with something.

Some more happened at the house, but I can't remember what.

~

I was at my old college, in the building that the job I recently quit was in, though it looked different. I was there to vote for the President. It was very crowded. I think I was there with someone too, but I can't remember who.

We walked up some very crowded stairs to a table where you voted. It was much different than in waking life; it was just a fold-out table with some pieces of plastic or cardboard set up on it as "walls" to separate the voters. I got up there, and took a piece of paper. It was like a checklist of the candidates. I don't remember who I picked, and then, I realized that I wasn't really paying much attention when I voted. I got up and looked at my ballot. I was making sure I at least didn't vote for Romney, and checking for an "x" marked by Gary Johnson's name. I saw his name, simply "Gary" on the sheet, but I hadn't marked it. I had marked one below it, some female candidate from an off-the-wall party. I wanted to change it, but obviously, I couldn't. Someone in charge of the voting then took my ballot and put it with all the other ballots. I thought to myself that at least I didn't vote for Obama or Romney, but that didn't make me feel any better about it.

Then, I was walking by some restaurants in the same area of the building. I spotted someone working at what looked like a Pizza Hut booth who looked familiar. He was tall, thin, and had glasses, though I couldn't see his hair because of his Pizza Hut hat. He looked at me and said something like
"Oh, it's just you."
I asked him
"Are you mad at me?"
"Yes," he responded, "you just quit!"
He then looked away, and continued doing what he was doing.
I was still trying to place him in my mind. Was he a Pizza Hut employee? I was never friends with anyone who worked there...

Then it hit me: He was the supervisor of the whole restaurant area, Toby. He was the one who put my name in the system and such. Shit...well, I'm here, better try to make this right.
"Let me explain to you what happened," I said.
He agreed to let me explain myself, and came to sit with me at a table.
"Listen," I started, "I have depression, and it got really bad...that's why I quit."
"Depression?" he said, a bit skeptically, but he was listening now, at least.
I talked to him about it, saying it was hard to explain. He had to get up and go take care of something at the Pizza Hut real quick, but came back. He talked to me about how he had to work at Quarto's (what he called the Pizza Hut) since they were understaffed, and told me they hired someone else where I used to work named Wilma. He also told me that Mallisha, a girl that I worked with there, had her baby. He seemed a lot less angry now. He looked at me as we talked with kind eyes, trying to understand.

I thought to myself afterwards how I had resolved the issue. I felt good about it.

~

I was again at the college, but the area looked different. I was sitting down talking to my old manager, Gloria. She was being very kind to me, and seemed happy. I think she was so happy because it was the end of the workday on Friday, and she didn't work on the weekends. She asked me how I was, and we talked a bit. She never asked about how I quit, she never asked about any of that stuff. It was like I had never left.

I then saw some people I worked with there, the one I remember for sure being Gwen. She was with someone else, another girl. They were about to go shoot this movie or something, that was supposed to be what would happen during a real bomb threat. I then pictured them dressed as zombies, wandering around this tent set up in a gymnasium. I then pictured an above view of them laying on a gurney surrounded by other gurneys with people on them, all naked except for plastic wrap covering them, so you could only see outlines of their nipples...it was weird, but apparently, that was part of the shoot they were doing. Gwen is also black, but her body was white in this part of the shoot. I thought I was supposed to help with that somewhere in there. I pictured myself in the middle of the craziness, with zombies walking around in the tent, and tons of people calmly filing out. There were different tents set up in there as well, and the same thing was happening in all of them.

I then saw what looked like a Pizza Hut commercial. Mallisha, some other employees, and Gwen all filed out of what I assumed was Pizza Hut, in slow motion. They all appeared to be in what looked like Pizza Hut uniforms, with red shirts and black pants. It was nighttime. I got excited, and got chills because I knew these people, and was happy for them that they were on TV! Mallisha, who looked thinner than IWL, I assumed it was because she had her baby, led the line, as if she was the boss or manager, and looked back at Gwen, who had lighter skin than IWL, who was in the back of the line. It showed Gwen doing the same to Mallisha. They were heading towards a bus. The whole thing was in slow motion. There was a male voice narrating in the background the whole time, but I can't remember what it said.

I was then outside in some closed-in concrete porch area with a bunch of people who worked at the restaurants on campus. It was nighttime. They were all working on some big event, which I'm assuming had something to do with the movie shoot or the commercial. I was sitting all on my own, feeling like I didn't really belong there since I had quit, when someone called my name.
"Krista! Come sit with us!"
I wasn't sure who called me over, but I went towards the direction of the voice, and sat down on the ground with a group of girls that contained some Latino girls and also Gwen, who finally looked exactly as she does IWL, though she wasn't the one who called me. I was sitting next to her. She was wearing a tight grey dress.

Gwen then started to talk to me. Her voice sounded exactly how I remember it.
"Let me update you on what's happened since you've been gone," she said. "They wanted to promote me to manager, but I declined. (insert some things I can't remember here). Next to that one restaurant, you know, Seaweed or something."
IWL, the "Seaweed" place she was referring to was really Pizza Hut.
She was very kind and informative.

I then was in some hallway, which wasn't nearly as crowded as everywhere else had been, and I saw Toby again. I got his attention, because I wanted to talk to him some more about the whole mess. I took his hands, and led him to a wall. His back was facing the wall. Then, there was a door there, and someone started to come out. I led Toby away from the door. The red-headed guy who came through the door looked at us. I felt like he must think something funny is going on between Toby and I. Toby was then against the white-painted concrete cinder block wall. I started to talk.
"I've been having more bad days than good," I said.
"Bad days? Everyone has those," he responded.
I then went on as I was looking down, trying to adjust our position again,
"But I think I've forgotten how to have good days," I said to him.
He seemed very understanding to my plight. His eyes spoke volumes to me. I again went on.
"I'm sorry for quitting like that," I said, "it was very unprofessional of me."
We then hugged. We hugged for quite some time. It was a nice embrace, very comforting.
As he pulled away he said
"We might have a meeting on Monday." He then walked away and through a door, not looking back at me. Maybe he was embarrassed for showing so much emotion and understanding, I don't know.

At any rate, I guess I still had my job there, though I honestly didn't want it back. I thought to myself that I better tell my mom when I get up for work on Monday. I was also proud of myself for resolving the problem, and how it didn't go over nearly as bad as I thought it would.

Dream - Lucid

I was watching my friend, Caitlin, walk in rhythm down a hallway to her singing the words "It won't take me awhile" over and over again in a deep Jamaican accent. She was wearing light blue bermuda shorts.

We were then sitting on the couch, watching some late-night TV. I'd say it was probably 1 or 2 in the morning, maybe later. I think we were sitting in my living room. It was dark, save for the light from the TV.

We were then walking into a kitchen that kind of looked like our neighbor's (from yesterday's dream) kitchen. We were in nothing but our underwear. I think we must have lived there, and were roommates again. I was trying to get my panties all the way on over my butt as we were walking. At the far end of the kitchen were some of our friends from high school, Kayla and Maegan are the ones I remember, though there were more. It was kind of embarrassing, but we were still having a good time.

Then, all the sudden, I was outside on a wooden porch with my best friend MK's older brother, Adam, whom I rarely see or talk to IWL. Everyone else had disappeared. It was a beautiful, sunny day. Adam looked at me and asked
"Where did everyone go?"
I responded
"The dream must be about to end."
As Adam was agreeing with me that that must be why, I was thinking wait a minute. This is a dream! Sweet!!
I didn't even do an RC, since I felt so sure already that this was a dream. I was really excited! So excited, that I wanted to fly with Adam! We walked up to the edge of the porch, and Adam started talking. I, however, was too excited to listen (something I desperately need to work on in my LDs -_-). I kept wanting to ask him to fly with me. He finally finished talking, and I asked him
"Do you practice lucid dreaming?"
"Yes," he replied.
I grabbed for his hand.
"Would you like to fly with me?"
"Yes!" he replied, taking my hand.
I felt our fingers intertwine as I took off. He trailed behind a little at first, but was then next to me.

I felt kind of out of control as we flew for some reason, I think it may have been because I was losing the dream, and was trying to focus on keeping it. I had to fly in these huge circles. We were flying over a field with grass and some desert-looking plant life. I saw a patch of these purple flowers. Very pretty. Adam then separated himself from me and sank down a bit to fly with another girl. I spiraled down in my giant circle, trying to gain height again, but not being able to. In the sky, I then saw the moon rising in fast motion, though it was still daytime (think about when you can see the moon when the sun's still out--that's what it looked like). It was a 3/4 moon.

Then, when I was close enough to the ground, my friend Raechel's son, Syler, took me by the leg and started to run with me like I was a balloon. I thought this was adorable, and laughed as he did it. I floated in the air, too, as if I really was a balloon. He ran up the stairs to the porch, and inside, where many people were.

~

I was with my dad and my brother, I believe, outside in these extensive woods. It was beautiful. The tree roots were huge, and were everywhere on the forest floor. You could tell it was a sunny day, though not much light came in through the blanket of leaves above. Close by was a house, supposedly our house.

I was really worried about getting close to any water or anything because of alligators. I was afraid I'd get bitten or killed, though the gators around that part weren't that big, they could still deal a pretty nasty bite. Also, apparently, when we were younger, my dad kept one underneath the stairs that went up to the porch of the house. I didn't want to get near that either, thinking the gator must still be there.

My dad then told me that the gator was dead, that he had been dead for a long time, but, for my brother's sake, they had kept his body underneath the stairs for some time. Apparently, my brother really liked that gator for some reason. He wasn't around when my dad told me that.

At some point, we were talking to some woman with short hair who was wearing nothing but what appeared to be a white dress/sack, and black knee-high socks. You could see her naked butt peeking out from beneath the dress/sack. We were standing in what looked like a town square. She took off her dress in one swift motion, and was completely naked underneath. I critiqued it as if it was a movie, thinking to myself that the movie makers did a bad job hiding the fact that she was naked underneath the weird dress/sack she was wearing. She then started to show us all her alligator bite scars. She had a ton of them. She was trying to prove a point with her scars, trying to prove how dangerous alligators really were.

We were then running through the forest, climbing on the tree roots, having an awesome time! But every time we got close to some water, I'd start to get nervous about gators. We even saw one on a shore at some point. I just wanted to get away from there.

The woods then started to gradually fill with clear, blue water. I was alright with that, actually, since it wasn't the gators' natural environment. We splashed through the water, which hadn't reached too far over the tree roots yet. The water level, however, kept rising. On the forest floor, below the tree roots, it was pretty deep. But on top of the tree roots, it was relatively shallow, reaching our knees.

~

I was walking into my brother's room. He wasn't home. On his desk (which he doesn't have anymore IWL) sat this cryogenically frozen alligator kit. It was in a black box. According to my mom, who was in bed in her room, I wasn't supposed to do anything with it yet, not until my brother got home. It was supposed to be a surprise to replace the alligator under the stairs from his youth.

Of course, being me, I had to push the limit a little. I had a bottle full of hot water. The instructions called for A FEW drops of hot water to unfreeze the kit and the gator. There was emphasis on the "A FEW" part. I dripped a little onto the kit, and the frost started to melt. The whole kit was shortly thawed out, and I opened it up. There was a TINY purple alligator in there. And I mean tiny as in could fit on the tip of a finger! I then proceeded to carry the gator on my right index finger and the kit over to the other side of the room, trying to figure out what to do with him, when he started to float in the air on a string, like a baby spider would. Shit! I had lost him! He was so tiny, it seemed like it would be damn near impossible to ever find him again.

I then noticed, right in front of me, a medium-sized aquarium tank full of water and little colored pebbles. It was for the baby gator. Shit again! I had been RIGHT THERE. If only I could have made it in time to put the gator inside. Now I was afraid he'd die because he wasn't in the right environment. Plus, someone might squish the poor little guy.

I told my mom what happened, and of course, she wasn't very happy about it.
"I told you not to do that!" A typical mom thing to say.

I was then on a search for the gator, which, somewhere along the way, got named Big Thunder, I think by my dad's disembodied voice (my dad would name a tiny alligator something like that IWL). I was with other people, though I can't remember who right now. We were searching by some rocks and water. It seemed like we were both inside and outside at the same time.

We then saw Big Thunder (lol this Big Thunder thing was even kind of hilarious in the dream). He had grown quite a bit in the few minutes/hours I had lost him. He was now an orange-red color, was kind of short and stubby for a gator, and had creepy, huge black eyes. He looked less like a gator, and more like something you'd find in the deepest depths of the ocean.
"Big Thunder!" I exclaimed. I was glad he was alive.
Apparently, Big Thunder was an aggressive gator. He proceeded to latch onto my leg and bite down. It HURT. Whoever was with me helped me get him off. Damn, fuck, SHIT that hurt! I didn't seem to be bleeding, but you could see red welts where his teeth had been.

We then wandered and climbed over the big, grey rocks by the water. Something then went to attack Big Thunder, who was kind of following us. We were worried about him, thinking he may not make it through the attack, when a giraffe came and ate the attacker, and at first, we thought he also ate Big Thunder. We didn't watch this happen, but we looked back when the attack was over, and the giraffe had his cheeks full and was chewing. It was kind of cartoonish. It was a big wtf moment.

We then noticed Big Thunder was alright. That crazy gator and his escapades.

I was then in my brother's room again, sitting on the floor and working on something, though I'm not sure what, I want to say it was either a cage or an aquarium, when my friend Mike then texted me, warning me he had charged this nitrogen canister bomb and buried it underneath me, and I only had 20 seconds until it detonated, killing me and anyone in the house, which would also be destroyed. The text read kind of smart-assy.

My view then changed to a sillouhette of Superman with his arm extended going underground. It was me, apparently, and my view changed back as I saw the countdown on the canister. The digital number read at about 14 seconds. I pushed a button on what appeared to be a touch screen that the numbers were also on, and the countdown stopped, displaying a screen in digitized letters that explained how to re-initiate the countdown. I went back up to Blake's room, and called him to ask him what the fuck I should do about the buried canister, whether or not I should retrieve it, or leave it buried, which is what I planned to do. I just worried that the canister would somehow get jossled under there, and the countdown would re-initiate without anyone's knowledge until it was too late. I can't remember what he said. I asked him some other things too, like what do you even buy these things for (they were sold commercially)? Why would you want one? Is the explosion really that powerful? I really can't remember his answers at all.

Dream - Lucid

I was in what appeared to be a cave system, but it was supposed to be at the restaurant I recently quit. The manager was evil, and was turning all the employees into zombies. I refused to let that happen to me. As the zombie workers tried to attack me, one by one, I fought them off. I remember them having red, glowing eyes.

~

I was asleep on our neighbor's front porch, underneath my sleeping bag. It was nighttime. I rolled over, and the door opened. Lisa (the neighbor) checked on me, and then went back in. I rolled back over. I wondered how I was sleeping out there and not being freezing cold.

I then remember going inside, I guess it was time to get up. The sun was just starting to come up. Lisa came down the stairs. Something about the cat needing to go outside.

Then, I was sitting on the porch with Lisa and her husband, Steve. One of her sons, Kael, was there briefly as well. He walked up to us for a little bit. He was smiling and gently swaying from side to side.

An owl then flew by, and I held out an orange prescription bottle of assorted pills, one Lisa had put together, of some antibiotics and antidepressants. The antibiotics looked like some I took last year IWL for an upper-respiratory infection. They were large green and blue capsules. The owl landed and took a beakful of the pills, and flew away. Apparently, Lisa did this all the time, fed the animals pills. It was supposed to help them. I was worried, though, since the owl had taken so many. He took quite a few of the antibiotics, which I felt like we needed for some reason. No one else really seemed all that concerned.

Spoiler for Expicit content:

Then, it was just me and Steve. On the street, lots of prostitutes filed out of a car. I thought about their jobs for a second, how it must be hard for women to go to work, knowing strangers are just going to fuck them all night. There was a girl who Steve wanted. She told him to take her in the ass. He pulled back her panties and did just that, right there where the street met the front yard.

Then, we were back on the porch. He was smoking a cigarette, and was surrounded by the empty orange pill bottles. I picked one up, took out a pencil, and wrote "STFU" on the white label, and put it down next to him.
"What did you write?" Steve asked.
"Shut the fuck up," I said, and stormed away.

I came back a little later, and that particular bottle was gone. I assumed he got angry and threw it (IWL he has a pretty bad temper).

I was then at home, standing in my mom's office with my mom and my brother. They were on the other side of the room. I opened up the farthest left window and looked out. It was a grey, overcast morning. My brother then said
"It smells like smoke in here."
I then replied with
"I didn't smoke, Steve was smoking a cigarette," or something like that.
He then came back with
"No, not cigarette smoke, weed smoke."
I then turned all defensive and said
"I only had one hit! I'm not even that high!" though I don't remember smoking weed in the dream, unless it was sometime when I was on the porch with Lisa and Steve.

~

I was in a room with lots of people. A man who looked kinda like a guy I knew from my college Swing Dance Club, Alan, came up behind me and gently put his arms around me. I hugged his arms back. I was very comforted by his presence. I was very happy and content being around him, being held by him. At one point, he whispered "I love you" to me. I think he thought I was asleep. I'm pretty sure I said it back. "I love you, too."

I was then sitting on a hospital bed, in what looked like a hospital room. The walls, floors, and sheets were all white. Sitting on two chairs in the back of the room were my old boss from the restaurant in the first dream, and a big, tall black guy who looked kind of like a guy I went to school with when I was younger, and Kenan from the show Kenan & Kel. My old boss asked me
"So why were you in the hospital...?" She named off a few mental illnesses that could have put me in.
I said
"My depression got really bad." A vague statement.
She then said
"Oh I understand, my son deals with that sometimes," and she patted the guy next to her on the back.
I was then handed a form I had to sign. Something on it was highlighted in yellow. I also remembered I didn't have a doctor's note, but no one asked me for one.

As people walked by the room, I scanned for the guy from the beginning of the dream, but I couldn't find him.

I then was following one of the girls I used to work with down a long hallway. She explained to me that since I'd been gone, they had done some renovations, so everything was located in different places now. She then told me that I either need to stay or quit, and to not do what I did again.

As I was walking, I realized that I had no idea how or why I had come back here; I quit for a reason. But I kept on walking.

Then, I was heading to a huge auditorium with quite a few other people. I still couldn't find the guy. The leader of the group couldn't quite decide which way the auditorium was. There were two, actually, and we needed to be at a certain one. We finally decided on one of them, and walked in.

There were blue, auditorium-style seats in the audience and on the stage. The ones on the stage went up very high. We filed in the ones on the stage and sat. I was scanning the room for the guy that held me, wanting to find him again. I scanned in the rows of guys, who all appeared to be in tuxes, but I couldn't find him. I saw one that looked kind of like him with a blue baseball cap on, but it wasn't him. All I could remember about the guy who held me, besides what he looked like, was his last name being "Creech"; I had no idea what his first name was. I remembered this from seeing it written down somewhere.

We were all then watching the opera class rehearse for a show. We were watching from the audience seats now, as they performed in the stage seats. Their costumes were all farmer-ish; one girl looked kind of like she was supposed to be Little Bo Peep.

I then heard my old choir teacher from high school yell out that she needed to see me and Zach, a guy I was in band and choir with in high school. We got up and started to walk upwards (we were in the stage seats again). I then noticed Zach and I were wearing our old high school marching band uniforms, and everyone else was in my old college's marching band uniform. I felt silly, still being in my high school uniform. I guessed it was because we came in late, and had to wear some kind of uniform.

When we got to the top, my choir teacher talked only to me, and not Zach at all. She said, with a plastered-on smile, as is the norm for her IWL,
"Don't do what you did again. If you're going to quit, then quit. If you're going to stay, then stay. There are plenty of other people who would like to be up there."
Inside, I was very upset that she was saying these things to me. I have depression, and it got really, really bad, and that's why I left. She then asked,
"Can you do that for me?"
I said
"I...I don't know."
I was crying at this point.

I then walked away, planning on just removing my uniform and leaving, never to come back again, when I remembered I wanted to find that guy, "Creech", again. I turned around to go back. People were filing out of the auditorium, including the farmer-dressed opera members, who were talking about singing. I scanned the line for Creech, but couldn't find him.

I then ran into the girl that led me down the long hallway. She said if I was going to quit, to hang up my uniform. Sigh. I didn't even want to give them that.

I was then in the back, and there were some fat, ugly girls in full-length black choir dresses. They were apparently on the "sidelines" of the choir, so to speak; if I quit, one would get to sing. I remember one with curly hair and glasses talking about it. I took off my uniform (no longer the band uniform, though I'm not sure what uniform I was wearing), and was wearing clothing underneath. One of the girls took off some chunky light brown sandals, and asked where her "wide shoes" were. I put on the sandals she took off, first making sure they weren't the "wide" shoes; their size said something like 7/6 or 7/8, but no "W" to indicate that they were wide. They were kind of wide on my feet, but fit well otherwise. I knew that one of the girls was excited to sing; they seemed very happy, and were going on about it.

I was then walking back down the long hallway, free of my uniform. I felt lighter without it on. I looked down at the light brown sandals as I walked.

I was then behind the counter making a sandwich for a little girl. As she came up to me, I didn't say anything. She spouted off her order. I cut the bread pretty easily. This was what I had signed up to do, not run around and do some weird choir thing too; I was supposed to be making sandwiches! But I realized that I didn't want to be there either. I started putting some gloves on; they were small, and hard to get on my hands. I debated just walking out.

Oddly enough, I loved choir in high school, and would love to be in a choir now if I could.

The sandwich job though, I fucking hated it. Just for the record.

Dream - Lucid

I was seeing my old friend from middle school, Jennifer D., at her house. She was wearing a royal purple shirt. We were in her bathroom, which, now that I think about it, looked kind of like my parents' bathroom at my house. I started talking to her about some movie they made about my high school called "The SHS Tornado Movie" (obviously this didn't really happen IWL). I then "remembered" watching it on a bus. I saw a scene with her and her ex from middle school, who was also my first kiss IWL, Nick. He was wearing a baseball cap. They were crouching down in a dark hallway with other students, and he was being a jerk to her. I also saw him standing by a wall that had been taken out by the tornado, and these whiffle-ball sized white things, I guess they were supposed to be hail, were swirling around close to him. I thought I was also in the movie too, albeit briefly.

I then asked Jennifer what the story was between her and Nick. I knew they had broken up way back when we were all 14 and 15 years old, but I didn't know what really happened. She started to tell me. I knew it had something to do with her vag, I guess he did something to her she didn't want done or something. That's what I always assumed happened anyway.

Then, Nick was there. He looked very young, like he was still in middle school, though it was years later. Neither Jennifer nor I had seen him in years. He got in the shower, which was located in the very left corner of the room (there were like 4 showers in the bathroom for some reason). He started saying he was washing off a lot of grime. Jennifer didn't seem too uncomfortable, but I felt the tension. I don't think Nick felt weird about it at all, but I know Jennifer did.

When he got out of the shower, he stood next to me in the hallway. He asked Jennifer to do "twinkle toes". Jennifer was reluctant, because apparently, it was kind of stupid, but he kept trying to get her to do it anyway. She finally caved, and started to do these exaggerated tiptoes down the hallway. Nick then joined her and started to do the tiptoes towards her. They then tiptoed around each other. Apparently, it was just something they came up with when they were dating.

Nick then got in the shower again, but this time, it was a different shower, one in the middle of the bathroom by the wall. Jennifer's mom then came in the bathroom, and looked in the shower and saw Nick. He said hi to her, and she talked to him back. I thought she was going to be pissed, but she wasn't.

Jennifer was then gone, but Nick and I were still in the bathroom. He was then in another shower. I kept feeling like he wanted me to get in there with him, but I wasn't going to do it. He then pulled the curtain back to where I could see the entirety of his naked body. I tried to avoid looking directly at his junk by looking right at his face as he talked, but I could still see them in my peripheral vision. I want to say he was talking to some random girl at this point. She was outside the shower, and fully clothed. He didn't seem sexually interested in her.

I then went over to one of the other showers in the room. The shower was actually two different showers connected to each other. I exclaimed this out loud, because I thought it was cool. I then felt like I had been there before, like I had watched that "SHS Tornado Movie" in that shower. I then looked at the bottom of the farthest left of the connecting showers, and it was filthy. I assumed this was the grime Nick had been talking about, since he had used that shower. I walked over to the other one, and it was less dirty, but still pretty dirty around the drain, which was covered in small stones. I assumed the stones were for decoration or some kind of fancy filtration system. I tried to run some water to clean it, but though it did wash a little of the dirt away, a lot of it was stuck tight to the shower floor.

I then remembered something from another dream I had a long time ago. I remembered it as if it happened in real life. It was dark outside, and I was seeing Courtney's house. She lived next door to Nick (this is true IWL). I must have been in the 7th grade or something. I apparently hadn't been to either house before, and, while at Courtney's, I went inside of Nick's house. I remember it all being very unfamiliar.

~

I woke up and went back to sleep.

I wanted to find Nick again. I kept thinking I was going to ask him to have a drink with me or something. Something about him being in the shower again.

~

Woke up and went back to sleep again.

I found Nick, after years of not talking or seeing one another. I was outside in the daytime. I had heard he worked at some pizza place. I saw lots of outdoor venues and kiosks on the street I was walking down. Many men were walking around there, busy as ever. I looked around, trying to find a place with lots of pizza dough. I saw a place that looked like it had balls of pizza dough to be prepared.

I then saw Nick, carrying some full white sacks. He was wearing all white. I approached him. He was telling me about some guy he was dating, and it wasn't going well. It then looked as if he had been trying to lay the sacks down, but they were attached to his white clothing at the sleeves. I then just gave him a hug. He said something, like "You don't have to do that", but I kept hugging him. He hugged me back, and we started to sway back and forth, like we were slow dancing. He then said something to the effect of
"We always start dancing again when we see each other."
We then switched to each only having one hand on the other person, my left hand on his shoulder, and his hand, though I can't remember if it was the left or the right, I think his right hand, was either on my shoulder or waist, and we started to actually slow dance.