non-lucid

Note: If you are part of DawnEye11's group, avoid reading this entry unless you feel like there may be something that meshes with your own experience.

This was not a lucid dream, but rather semi-lucid.



I am walking about outdoors and see oriental structures at a distance. I wonder if it's Gyeongbokgung Palace from the Shared Dream Experiment. Approach close to it. I see some people pulling in some sort of cart. I slowly walk inside an archway . I see what appears to be couple of guards with swords approach the cart. They walk along side it. These guards wore colorful clothing. I'm actually not sure if they had swords alone. Some seemed to be spear and maybe bows. I'm not sure. It's a bit fragmented. I believe there animals at a distance. Cats or dogs, I'm not sure. I decide to back out at this point thinking "what if it's not a dream?".

Hi guys,

This dream spans through the course of seven years within the dream. Quite a bit of the daily activities had become fragmented as a result. I'll also be condensing the events so that it's more concise. The dream fluctuates between lucidity and non-lucidity. However, during lucid moments I choose to let the dream unfold on it's own.

The dream starts off non-lucid. I'm with my significant other who has passed away, I'll address as Kana. We are surrounded by whiteness. There is a false memory that we been meaning to conceive a "soul child" astrally. Kana and I are both female. Kana says it's time. The white emptiness beneath us ripples and our energies meld as we astraily conceive our soul child. I feel drained and I awake.

I look around in my bedroom without moving not realizing I'm clutching something close to me under my blanket. "A dream?" I sit up and notice an otherworldly infant in my arms. "Yes, this is my child." She opens her eyes and we gaze at each other. "Oh yes, you are Cocoa." Cocoa smiles. This is the only time she smiles in a long while.



Following months...
Over the weeks I have moments when shroud of that reality fades and I'm lucid. Adapting to a life caring for a child was hard, but I manage to get by with the help of my mom. I hold on to my secret of my lucidity to myself. I begin to see something strange with Cocoa. She seems to be completely unable to feel guilt, pity, remorse, or sympathy. She seem to have no regard for safety of those around her and she seems to crave human blood, often biting into her own thumbs to suck blood if no one else is nearby.

Soul Child
As months turn into years and my getting accustomed to this reality my moments of lucidity doesn't have much effect. I was detached with the waking and I had grown to accept that my soul child is different from others. I even feed it my own blood to satisfy it's craving. It was not before long she starts exhibiting otherworldly powers. I communicate with kana in my head as I do in waking and ask her if we made a mistake bringing this child into this world. As Cocoa grew older, the more destructive she became. Watching over her, making sure no one is harmed, was taking a toll on me. In moments of lucidity I was tron between continuing my waking life and leaving this world behind. The waking world seemed so distant. Kana assures me that this was a time-dilated experience and for the moment guiding Cocoa was all we could do as there is good in her.

One of the chilling moments of her childhood was when she asked me to rip off my eyes and give it to her because she thought they were pretty. I had told her it's not right to ask someone of that nor to expect it and there were better ways to appreciate things.

Absolution
As a 7 year old Cocoa had become more calmer and mature. For a while it seemed like she was breaking free from her shroud of madness. I been weaning off feeding her my blood and on her birthday she says she no longer thirsts for blood and apologizes with tearful eyes for all the harm she has caused and all the pets she has killed over the course of her childhood. I was relieved. She was getting stronger and stronger, it was becoming difficult to care for her when she is so powerful.

I send her to school with caution and ask for Kana to watch over her. I see something that sends a chill down my back. As I was about to leave, Cocoa was smiling. The last I seen her smile was when she was a baby. I wonder what's wrong with me. Why was I not feeling relieved by my child's smile? Something didn't feel right. I go to the mall and look around just hoping to pass the time. Something didn't feel right, but I could quite place it. I order a sandwich at a cafe and look around. I look at a ceiling lamp above me and think "I can turn it on and off by snapping my fingers". I snap my fingers lightly. The light flickers on. I snap again, it flickers off. I look around nothing has changed. Everyone is minding their own business as if completely unaware of what I had done. My phone rings startling me. It's Cocoa's homeroom teacher's number. I answer it only to receive a weak voice saying "Cocoa" followed by a shrill blood curdling scream. I rush to Coco's school already knowing what I might see. I arrive at a scene with blood everywhere. Dead bodies everywhere. I had enough of this dream. It seems Kana and I failed guiding Cocoa. Amidst the bodies stands a blood soaked Cocoa. Upon seeing me she rushes at me and clings on to me with a tight hug. Saying she was sorry over and over, saying she only reacted to darkness in their hearts. I hug her back tightly. "I'm sorry, Cocoa, we couldn't save you..." and place my hand on back of her head. Her entirety pulses and I start absorbing her into my being.

I wake up crying. I do a reality check and check my phone. It has not passed seven years. I lay back on my bed looking at the ceiling and wondering what the dream meant.