LukeSid

As per usual nowadays, this all happened at the top of the morning. It cannot be because I only then manage to accrue enough melatonin, because I've taken supplementary melatonin at various points of the night before and merely slept dreamless sleeps.

I'm in a very large office building (DS) and I hear someone talking about office decorations (Christmas?) But I can only see a very large and brightly coloured plastic dildo, on a wall inside one section. (what??!!) I suddenly realise that I'm wearing pyjamas (and my sleeping mask) and think "I'm asleep!"

I move outside the section that I'm in and immediately feel that I'm waking up This time I start to spin but to no avail (usual story lately). I lay there, musing about what had happened, then realise that I'm at my desk explaining to my (DC) fellow employees that I've just had an lucid dream. The penny drops...I'm back asleep...and then I wake up again.

It happens once more, but this time I'm telling my wife (who's asleep in our other bedroom)...and then I'm awake again. If they were all false awakenings, then the plot definitely thickens. Can I really dream that complicated scenario? If it had happened tomorrow I would have pondered on the fact that it is April fools Day and the brain apparently has independently-functioning sections (and maybe there's a joker in the pack)

Aside from that little farce, things have been quiet, with just one recent "sweet spot" in my mediation/sleeping routine. I managed to conjure up a "video" (I can never make out any clear content...maybe it's always just a typical dreamlike jumble.) It was playing very fast and I tried to instruct my brain to slow it down.

Whenever I manage to create the basic "square shape" I merely have to think "a red square" and it instantly in-fills in red. But I could not get the "video" to slow down. Maybe there are 2 separate brain departments "video" and "wire-frame shapes" and the latter one is run by a few simple-minded neurons. Maybe the "video" dept has a bunch of techie-neurons who are far too busy to listen to a noob like me. Just a thought (if you could call it that)

I'm not claiming this as a lucid (I think it would be bad form to do so) Frustrating, but never boring for long, is how I view my current dream/brain/meditation/falling asleep research. IMO we really have to show the brain respect, because there's no guarantee that we are in complete control of it. (if at all)

As I've already said, it's been a disappointing Winter...cold and pretty uninspiring on the dream front, with fairly poor dream-recall, only 2 short lucids and generally drab dreams (some almost unfathomable.)

But on other fronts, it's been interesting. My discovery that I can sometimes meditate/fall asleep and conjure up images and schemas. But, even that comes and goes. I recently watched a Youtube vid of a guy called Koi Fresco (something fishy about him) and he recites "I'm awake" twice every hour.

I've often done the mantra thing, but with me, it's always been "I'm dreaming...it's a dream." So, I decided to try his method. For 4 days I diligently worked though that mantra at least 3 times every hour, aware of every bodily sensation and my surroundings. Nothing so far....zilch.

But, other things crop up. I've noticed an improvement in dream recall if I WBTB after watching one of David Eagleman's brain documentaries (it gets me thinking about the function of the brain maybe). But, more interestingly, on 2 occasions (one was just now) I've laid down for a while and maybe, when I start to drift, a vivid image starts to form.

It's always green (that's my preferred location, a meadow or a wood) I get the "rush" and my heart rate speeds up (I can control that...always been able to) but I find breathing difficult and I have to breath deeply and that's distracting. But again I managed to hold the image for quite a while before it gradually died away.

Of course, I need such an experience after a few hours sleep and a WBTB (so we're all told) and I'm alert and thinking so I had to get up and write this to get it out of my system. Then I'm back to bed (with maybe some melatonin...if it only helps me off to sleep that's something.)

Still trying.