Non-Lucid Dreams
2019, 12-11 Skyrim: The Slaver Trap Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am at a mall with my mother. The fact my mother is coming with me into a mall should have triggered a reality check... she NEVER does that. But it seems normal to me. We go into the mall and start looking around. I have the idea the place is just about to close so we don't have much time. We go into a clothing store and I look to see if there is anything I like that will fit me. Neither my mom nor I find anything in our sizes. We leave and go to a video game / music store. There are both new and used games. I try a demo of a Mario Cart game, but I'm not doing very well. I keep driving off of the road. I start thinking the controller might be broken, because no matter how steady I hold it the car veers off to the right. I leave that and look for my mom. I don't see her. Apparently the game store is open later than the rest of the mall, it is still opening and showing no signs of closing. I go to another demo station. This has a cordless VR headset. I look at the price and cringe, it is almost $2,000. But I can still try the demo! I put the headset on and find I am in Skyrim VR. The graphics look great! I realize there are no controllers, but I can see my hands. My hands are the controllers! I want this sooooo bad... so I get into the demo. I find I am in Windhelm just outside the Palace of the Kings. I have a quest marker near the main gates to Windhelm, so I hurry to there. Ambarys, the dark elf from the New Gnsis CornerClub is there waiting. What does he want? He's one of the most racist assholes in Windhelm, along with Rolff Stone-Head. When I approach him he says he was about to give up on me coming. I wonder if I could help him get over his racist tendencies. I have decided I need a way to do this that doesn’t involve a fus to the face. That is not very effective. With this in mind, as Ambarys and I leave Windhelm I start singing the song See Who I Am by Within Temptation. “Is it true what they say? Are we too blind to find a way? Fear of the unknown clouds our hearts today. Come into my world, see through my eyes. Try to understand, don't want to lose what we have…” Ambarys asks if I’m now a bard, too? I don’t answer, I just continue. “See who I am, break through the surface. Reach for my hand, let's show them that we can free our minds and find a way. The world is in our hands, this is not the end.” Light energy forms around us and flows through Ambarys. I don’t know what brought him to hate those different than him, but this should help more than a fus to the face. We soon arrive at an isolated part of the road from Windhelm to Kynesgrove. I tell Ambarys to keep hidden, I’ll go out there and be a traveler to hopefully draw the orc out. Ambarys says if the orc gets me there’s nothing he can do. I say if the orc gets me it will be the orc’s problem, not Ambarys’. It is late afternoon as I walk down the street as if I’m in no particular hurry to get anywhere. I hear someone call for help from behind a bush. I carefully approach and find a male orc leaning on a tree, holding his side. I ask if he is ok. He says a bandit attacked him and he needs help. I get a little closer and he jumps on me. I respond immediately with a fus. FUS-RO-DAH! The orc is launched into the air. He flies out across the road and slams into a tree. He struggles to get up. I tell him I know he is the one who has been kidnapping travelers and selling them as slaves, that ends now. He is pissed and says I won’t live to tell anyone. I ask where he has been taking the slaves he captures. He says he’ll never tell me. I use my telepathy and read it from his mind. I tell him he just did tell me. He pulls out an axe and comes at me. It is too easy to cut him down with my Alex Mercer blade. I return to Ambarys and ask if he has seen anyone else involved with the slaves. He says no, just the orc. And he only made the one deal with him, he’d never done anything like that before. He seems desperate to make me believe that. He says I have to tell the jarl that. I say my word might not mean a lot since I fus’d said jarl in the face for being rude. He looks shocked and asks what the jarl did… I shrug and say he fus’d me back. Then I start to wonder if I screwed up and will have to load a previous save. Fus’ing Ulfric in the face probably isn’t the best way to get his cooperation, but maybe solving the slave trade issue will make up for it. I tell Ambarys I won’t mention his involvement, but I can’t say that for anyone else. Tell everyone it had to look like he was in on the slave trade to keep from tipping that orc off. And the orc is in multiple pieces, he can’t argue. We are headed back when I wake up.
2019, 12-09 Skyrim: A Fus for a Fus Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am at a toy show. I am there by myself, but that doesn't seem odd. I am looking at classic toys. I find a model of the God-Phoenix from G-Force anime. I always liked that ship so I look closer to see how much it is. I notice there are some pieces missing, but they look like pieces I could make myself out of clay. And the price is way discounted because of the damage! I pick it up and see part of it slides open to reveal the interior. This is cool. There are little figures sitting inside the ship. I take the ship to the cashier to buy it. The cashier looks at the model, then at the price, then calls his assistant over. He gets angry at the assistant, saying he labeled the God Phoenix wrong. He reveals to me that the price is somewhere around ten times what it was marked. After briefly arguing I give up and leave without the model. I wonder if he priced it wrong on purpose to get people wanting it and unwilling to let it go when they find out the real price. I am angry and I walk outside, not paying much attention to those around me. Our of the corner of my eye I see a woman trying to hold a sick looking man up. My anger fades and I go to help her. When she looks up I see she is an elf... it's Suvaris from Skyrim! She asked where I'd gone, leaving my friend to her. I look and see the man is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. I look around and I realize I'm not in Tucson anymore. It looks more like Windhelm. I help Suvaris support Roland to take him... I don't remember where we're taking him, but I hope he can get help. Suvaris, Roland, and I arrive at the Palace of the Kings. Suvaris says she won’t go inside. I tell her there is no reason not to help me get Roland inside. She says there is a good reason, but continues helping me as I get Roland inside. Ulfric is in there and asks who Roland is? Ulfric sees Suvaris even though she is trying to stay hidden behind Roland and me. Ulfric looks annoyed and asks what she’s doing here. I say she’s helping with my friend, who has been poisoned. Ulfric says he wants Suvaris out now. I tell Ulfric not to make me fus him. Ulfric says he will agree to a lot of things but he will not… I don’t want to hear another rude word so I turn and fus Ulfric in the face. FUS-RO-DAH! He flies into the wall. Suvaris looks shocked and asks what I’ve done. I say it's no big deal, all I did was fus Ulfr… I lose my hold on Roland as I get fus’d. I am thrown against a wall, now I’m fighting uncontrollable laughter. The fact I got fus’d back seems hilarious. Now I want to try something. I get up and ask if Ulfric calls that a fus, that wasn’t a fus, it was a gentle breeze. I annoy him into fus’ing me again, but I respond with Whiplash by Metallica. The force of the fus reflects back at Ulfric. I tell Roland I’ve learned something new… it IS possible to fus yourself! Then I crack up laughing. I take hold of Roland again and my laughter dies instantly. He’s burning up with fever. The poison has come back with a vengeance. Suvaris says to stop this nonsense, she’s leaving. She pushes Roland onto me and leaves. Roland is barely conscious. He calls me Susan and tries to kiss me. He is delirious. I tell him I’m not Susan… I’m Raven. It looks like Ulfric wants to be pissed but is more curious. He asks how I did that; how did I turn his shout back on him? It’s the whiplash effect, which will reflect any energy-based attack back at the attacker. To be honest I’d been unsure if it would work on a fus. Roland passes out. Ulfric motions to a couple guards (who surprisingly stayed out of our fus exchange) and they take Roland. I tell them no, leave Roland alone, I’m the one who attacked Ulfric, Roland did nothing… let him go or I'll fus your asses straight to... Ulfric interrupts and says they will take Roland to the court mage, Wuunferth, to get healing. He says a guard told him one of the elves was helping me catch a slave trader? Crap… I’m supposed to meet Ambarys to stop that orc! I look at Roland as the guards take him from the room. I hesitate. Ulfric insists Roland will be fine. I say I have to stop the orc and leave, only to wake up just outside the doors.
2019, 12-06 The Dark Tower: Slaves in Skyrim Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am at a school. I am looking for my class. It seems I have forgotten where it is. I have some idea, but not an exact one. I need to look at my schedule, but I don't have that with me, either. The office should be able to give that to me, but I know I will be late. I head for the office. Even if I miss class today I will need it later. When I am on my way to the office I see an area that looks familiar. A circular building with rooms around it. Maybe I remember now... I count doors until I find the one closest to the main building. I peek in the window and see it is my class. With a sigh of relief I go inside. It doesn't look like the teacher is in yet. I sit at my computer and load up the project I'm working on. This is a programming course and my project is game related. I ask my neighbor where the teacher is. He looks at me like I'm an idiot and says this is a free study period, we just work on our projects. I feel a bit dumb. I drag a couple things around and edit a line of code then I compile. It looks good, I need a test. I put on a virtual reality headset to test my progress. I am now in Skyrim VR. I look around, surprised to see this instead of my project. I am in the New Gnisis Cornerclub in the Gray Quarter of Windhelm. I do a double-take as I see the man beside me is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. There are people sitting around eating and drinking and chatting. Roland does a double-take, he seems as surprised to be here as I am. The bartender, Ambarys, tells us that our kind aren’t welcome here. The room goes quiet as everyone turns to see what is going on. I see everyone in the room is a dark elf. I tell Roland we have to find our way back to the beach anyhow, I am thinking to get Roland back to the right place at least. He says to wait, he hears something. He walks to the far wall, which seems to alarm Ambarys. Roland says someone behind that wall needs help. Ambarys says that’s absurd, there’s nothing beyond that wall.I use Aura Whisper to see if there is anyone back there. Laas-yah-nir… There are three people back there! I search the wall and find a loose panel. When I pull that panel the wall slides open. A blast of gas comes out of a small room. Two men and a woman are chained up in the room. The woman is weakly calling for help. The men are sleeping. As the gas clears the prisoners start waking up. Roland talks to the woman. She says she remembers very little… an orc needed help but then he blew something in her face and said she would make a good slave… A woman I recognize as Suvaris from Skyrim says, “Oh, Ambarys… slaves? You’re trading slaves?!” Ambarys says he’s just holding them until their owner comes back and takes them to sell them. That damn orc said they would stay asleep the whole time! Revyn Sadri asks, “What have you done?” Other customers are voicing their disapproval. Ambarys is surprised at their reactions. He says he did it for them! With the coin he makes he can make a better life for all of them! Suvaris says people like Ambarys are why things never get any better around here! I get the chains off of the prisoners. One man is disoriented, the other mutters expletives about an orc. They have only minor injuries, so I use a healing spell and fix that up. Ambarys is worried someone will tell the jarl about the slaves and he’ll be executed. I tell him to help me catch the orc and I’ll make sure he’s safe. He finally says he heard the orc talking to an outsider about a place he waylays travelers. A guard comes to arrest Ambarys. I say no, don’t. He says the jarl ordered it. I tell him to tell Ulfric that Ambarys is working with the dragonborn to stop to this slave trade bullshit, which is what he asked me to do. So unless the guard wants to explain how the slave trader got away… the guard asks how he can be sure I’m the dragonborn. I fus Ambarys with one word then ask how many people can do that? The guard says he will inform the jarl and leaves. Ambarys asks why I fus’d him. I say it was for getting hooked in this slave business instead of reporting the orc. He says he doesn’t care who is sold as a slave unless it’s a Dunmer. I hold my thumb and forefinger a centimeter apart and tell him he is that close to getting a full fus for being a racist asshole. He says it’s the Nords who are racist. I agree some are, and I fus them for it, too. I tell Ambarys to show me where the meeting point is. He says no, the orc will kill him. I say the orc would have to get past me first, and that won’t happen. Is he going to show me or was I wrong when I said he was helping me stop the slave trade around here? He reluctantly says he’ll show me. He needs to get something and I should meet him by the gate. I tell him to make sure and be there. He says he will. He goes upstairs. Roland is looking sick again. Suvaris asks what is wrong, I tell her Roland has been poisoned… Suvaris says Wuunferth should have a potion, just get Roland to the palace. She says she can help me get him there, but she won’t go in, her kind is not welcome. I tell her that’s bullshit; anyone is welcome there. She says I clearly don’t know how things work here. I say I do, and I know it is going to change really fast or the Thalmor are going to tear this place apart and break the tower and plunge Nirn and Mundus and all of the planes of Oblivion into chaos and… I think I said too much. Roland is getting worse, so I accept Suvaris’ help. But as she is helping me with Roland I wake up.
2019, 12-05 The Dark Tower: Hijacked Door Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am playing a game of Ratchet and Clank VR. I am wondering where I managed to find such a cool game. I am thinking it's a prototype and I'm testing it. The strange thing is I am not playing as Ratchet. I am Ratchet's partner. He has Clank on his back as usual, and I am also working with him. I still get to use all of the same cool weapons from a Ratchet and Clank game. We are on planet Pokitaru in some kind of factory. We are making our way through the factory to shut down the production of evil robot clones that are programmed to kill on sight. Right now I am thinking Dr. Nefarious is behind it. There are two levels up ahead. Ratchet makes use of Clank’s helipack and they take the second level. I am on the lower level blasting enemy robots that are coming from both sides. I glance up and see Ratchet cruise across an opening with Clank’s help. I come to a door and go through it onto a beach. My blaster is out of ammo! I put it in an interdimensional pocket as I look to see where I am now. I see a man up the beach a short way. I head in that direction and I find the man is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. He is getting quite sick from the poison of the lobstrocities. I healed his hand, but the poison remains. I use more healing energy on him to help him feel better, but it will not heal the poison. He will feel better for a while but will get sick again. In order to make him truly well we need medicine from Eddie Dean’s world. We soon come to a door with the words “The Prisoner” carved on it. This is the door! Roland, feeling quite a bit better if only for a short time, opens the door. Before either of us can react black tendrils reach through the door and grab both of us. We are pulled through the door and it slams closed behind us. We are on a vast and desolate plane surrounded by a strange group of assholes. Taheen and Can-Toi from the Dark Tower books, Thalmor from Skyrim, and Templars from Assassin’s Creed. A Taheen with the head of a bear says we should have let go of our quest for the Dark Tower, but now they will have to kill us. I focus on creating an Immortal Fire from the song Dark Power of Abyss by Rhapsody. “Suddenly, the unreal silence is broken by a lament… a lament coming up from the deepest, darkest abyss. And from the seven gates of the dark fortress, the dead come back to life to face them… this is hell!” The bear Taheen tells me to shut up, but it’s too late. “Immortal Fire, now rise, light my heart, light my way through the darkness, a guardian of space and time!” A wall of light fire explodes out from Roland and me, incinerating all of the enemies in its path. There could be more enemies, Roland is thinking the same. He runs for the door and goes through it. I follow him, hoping the beach is waiting for us on the other side. But instead of getting there I wake up.
2019, 11-06 Skyrim: Unknown Challenger Part 1 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am at my home. It looks like it is Thanksgiving. My mom is preparing a big meal and there are a bunch of people around that I don’t know. I also see my brother and my grandmother, who are both dead. There is not much to be done to prepare dinner, so I go outside to wait. There are numerous vehicles parked in our yard. As I am standing there a really old Cadillac enters and parks carelessly behind another car. The door opens and my ex-boyfriend James steps out. Who invited him? I am thinking my mom invited him, though I can’t imagine why. James gets out of the car and heads towards the house without seeming to notice me. I decide that’s fine and I also go inside. My mom now says dinner is not almost ready and we will have to wait a couple more hours. I don’t want to talk to anyone around me so I go put on my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR. When the game starts I find I’m in the Palace of the Kings standing near Ulfric Stormcloak. Ulfric is sitting on his throne looking at me. I can’t remember why I came in here. Ulfric says he’s glad I’m here. I think he’s going to say something else when I see someone behind me. The visitor smiles. He looks like Hiei from the YuYu Hakusho anime. He looks at Ulfric, then back at me. He asks if I’m here to kill Ulfric or should he go ahead and do it? Ulfric asks who in Oblivion Hiei thinks he is. I sense dark energy in Hiei, so I get between Ulfric and Hiei. I tell Hiei no one is going to kill Ulfric… now what does he want here? He says that sounds good. He will try to kill Ulfric and I will defend him. I see Ulfric looking more annoyed. Hiei says he hates escort missions, so let’s make it a straight fight instead. He and I will fight. If he wins, he will kill Ulfric. If I win, he will leave Ulfric alone. So will I accept that challenge? I say ok, Hiei against me, one on one. Ulfric asks Hiei what makes him think he can walk in here and… I interrupt and tell Ulfric to stay out of it. Ulfric starts to object again, but Hiei fires black tendrils from his hand and they effectively bind Ulfric to the throne. He says he agrees, Ulfric should stay out of it. Galmar tries to come into the room but Hiei blocks all of the doors into the room with a dark energy force field. He says now no one will interrupt us. There is a sound like thunder as Ulfric lets off a fus in Hiei’s general direction. Hiei holds his nose and says he should kill the idiot for raising such a stink. He throws a blob of black stuff that covers Ulfric’s mouth. He tells Ulfric to shut up, then he tells me let’s get on with it! Since I’m playing Skyrim VR, the first thing I try to do is fus Hiei. That does nothing at all. Hiei makes fun of it, he says I’d better be able to do something better than send my bad breath his way or he’s going to have to level this whole city to make the trip here worthwhile. He sends out a bunch of tendrils like spears that actually punch right through my body, but I feel nothing but slight irritation as I look at the holes he made in my Assassin’s Creed robes. In an irritated way I tell Hiei that he ruined my robes… that’s just rude. And I decide to go full Alex Mercer on his ass. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut his tendrils off. I absorb the part that has penetrated my body like Alex Mercer would in order to get a sampling of Hiei’s energy. The wounds heal instantly. I am about to make another move but instead I wake up. I don’t like how I left the dream so I roll over and focus on getting back into the dream, I manage a DEILD!
2019, 11-05 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes The Dark Tower: Thalmor Ambush I am in an underground passage with some other people. The passage is very small and I am feeling claustrophobic, but the other people don’t seem to think anything of it. They must be used to it. I know they have resorted to living underground like this to avoid some dangerous enemies on the surface, but I don’t want to stay here any longer. I am asking people how to get out. They finally show me the way to an exit. They are cautioning me to be careful, but I tell them I can take care of myself. I am clearly remembering my dream powers but I am not thinking about the fact it’s a dream, so I am now semi-lucid. I have to crawl through the tunnel and some thick foliage to get out. I look back to see the passage is completely hidden by thick dead looking bushes and under a rocky outcropping. I see that the rocks are not far from a beach. I head towards the waves. It is shortly after dawn and the sun is rising behind me. I see a man on the beach. I approach him, he doesn’t look good. I see it is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. He has his right hand wrapped in a bloody rag and I realize this is in the second book shortly after a lobstrosity bit two fingers off. I approach Roland. He seems unsure if I might be a mirage. I tell him I can heal the physical wounds, but the poison may still follow its course. I carefully remove the bloody rag and focus healing energy. The missing fingers regenerate slowly. Roland seems better now and more able to continue. He thanks me for my help, though he’s unsure of how I did it… the man he’s pursuing can create the illusion of healing. I say I don’t use illusion, I use the light energy. I look Roland over and I note that he has the Horn of Eld hanging around his neck. That is good, so at least there’s a chance of this not looping again. Roland is ready to continue down the beach, so I go with him. It doesn’t seem long enough before there is a door in front of us. I look at the door, expecting to see the words “The Prisoner” on it. Instead of that I see the word “Skyrim” on it. Roland asks what that means and tell him I have no clue, it’s not what I expected. The door opens and three Thalmor come through. Two are mutant Thalmor that look like the hulk, and the third one looks like he’s been assimilated by the Borg. Borg Thalmor says Roland and I are becoming a pain in the arse, how many times do we have to be sent to the start before we realize it is useless to resist? He says to give up before they make things more difficult than a simple time loop. Roland says he will never cry off. The Thalmor says he expected that response. He tells the two hulk Thalmor to see how Roland and I like having our limbs ripped off to die in our own blood. I form my arm into an Alex Mercer blade. A hulk Thalmor comes at me. My blade cuts right through his sword and through the arm wielding it. He seems to not feel any pain, but the removal of his head puts a stop to him. I then remove the head of the other one as he is approaching Roland. The door collapses and turns to dust. Roland looks annoyed. He says he now has his answer about his bullets getting wet, now there’s no way to know how many or if any of his remaining rounds will fire. I am not entirely sure what to do. Will bullets stop those weird Thalmor? Shooting them in the head should still work. But before I can do anything about giving Roland more bullets I wake up.
2019, 11-04 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes 2019, 11-04 Skyrim: Déjà Vu I am going down the street on my way to Windhelm in my game of Skyrim VR. I spot some special friends ahead. There are three Thalmor escorting a prisoner. I walk over to them. The lead Thalmor tells me to go away. I cut the prisoner free and give him my electric sword that I got from Balgruuf. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade. As the Thalmor attack I start with a fus, though since it’s only one word it just staggers them. The prisoner and I still make quick work of the Thalmor. I set to looting the dead Thalmor. One of them was a woman about my size, so her elven armor is now mine. It’s too bad I damaged it… The prisoner and I he will head for Windhelm. We reach Windhelm with no problems. I find the blacksmith. I ask if he can repair the armor and he says yes. I leave it with him. I have to talk to Viola Giordano, but first I have to turn subtitles on. I can’t figure out how to do that. I am distracted by Rolff harassing Suvaris. Rolff breaks off his verbal assault on Suvaris to ask what I’m staring at. He calls me an elf lover. I call him dickless. He tries to get in my face so I fus him. The loser calls for a guard and says I assaulted him. I call him dickless again. The guard asks if it’s true. I respond, “It is true… this man has no dick.” Rolff says his dick is huge. I say I’m sure it is… for a grain of rice. He tells me to take that back. The guard says we should go in opposite directions, he wants no trouble. I head to the Palace of the Kings. Ulfric is talking to Galmar about Whiterun, He says he would like to take the city with no bloodshed. He sits down on the throne. I approach Ulfric. He says he remembers me. I say yes, I was at Helgen. He says no, he remembers me from before that… or after? It’s unclear to him. He asks how many times this makes. I am quite confused now. I ask how many times for what? He asks how many times have I repeated this? He says he remembers enough to know we’ve done this before, but in Helgen I said I have done it “sooooo many times” so he is asking how many times. This has taken me by surprise, how can Ulfric remember a past game? I finally say I’ve lost count. Now things get back on track. Ulfric says I should talk to Galmar about joining the Stormcloaks. I have barely gotten out, “I can’t…” when Ulfric goes off script again. He says he remembers I won’t join unless he gives his word that all races in Skyrim will be treated equally, especially the Dunmer in the Gray Quarter. But he has heard rumors that someone there is capturing citizens of Skyrim and sending them… somewhere… to be used as slaves. Ulfric knows the Project AHO mod?! How?! He says if I investigate and find the rumor false or if I find the rumor true and put a stop to it, he will see to improvements in the Gray Quarter, he knows Brunwulf would be glad to take on the project. But he will NOT do so if there’s a chance those blasted elves are sending Skyrim citizens into slavery. He says he doesn’t have the people to investigate, but he will trust my findings. I am still trying to figure out how Ulfric can be reacting to a mod that shouldn’t affect him. A mod I don’t even have active! I tell Ulfric I don’t think anyone in the Gray Quarter is involved, there’s an Orc kidnapping people near Mixwater Mill… but if it will help things move forward then I will check. I leave the Palace of the Kings. The next normal stop I would make is High Hrothgar to see the Graybeards. But this is going strangely. I am trying to figure out what is going on when Rolff tells me to get the fuck out of his city. I tell him to cram it up his ass. I wonder what I have to do to prove that no one in the Gray Quarter is involved with slavery. Then I wonder about the guy at the Corner Club, he has clearly expressed that he doesn’t care about anyone unless they’re a Dunmer. Should I investigate that? Well I said I would… Rolff says I should get my worthless elf-loving… His interference has pissed me off. I turn around and, without thinking about it, hit him with a full three-word fus. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff goes flying and crashes into a wall. He collapses, stunned. I am also stunned… I did a full fus! The glitch just happened a bit late! Do I still need to go to High Hrothgar? Probably. It’s getting late and I’m tired. I go to Candlehearth Hall and rent a room. I go to the room and lie down on the bed, falling asleep there and waking up here.
2019, 11-01 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes Skyrim: Dragon Falling Note: I have been including a lot more detail than I really have time for, so I will try to be a bit more succinct about my journal entries to allow for more postings. I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in Whiterun, I am here to deliver the dragonstone to Farengar. I go to Dragonsreach and go to Farengar inside. He is talking to Delphine. I comment that the warrior innkeeper is back. Delphine gives me a strange look. Farengar takes the dragonstone and then the housecarl Irileth comes in to say there’s a dragon attacking. She says Farengar and I should come. As we are leaving the room I pass by Delphine and deliberately comment, “It’s too bad we don’t have any sworn dragon slayers around…” as I look at Delphine. This gets me another strange look from her, then she hurries off. I go up to talk to Jarl Balgruuf. He says he wants me to help fight the dragon. He even gives me an electrically charged sword. I head to the Western Watchtower where the dragon is attacking. Irileth and several guards come with me. Mirmulnir is attacking the tower. I realize my new sword, or any sword, is useless. I use Battery by Metallica to call lightning down on Mirmulnir. Guards are firing arrows at the dragon. I pause to wonder how Battery is working in Skyrim when Mirmulnir targets me with a blast of fire. I stop questioning and use Whiplash by Metallica to deflect the fire back at Mirmulnir. The dragon is hit by fire and lightning at the same time and crashes to the ground. Irileth jumps onto his head and drives her sword in, killing him. For a bit I think I won’t get the energy rush as usual, but when I get closer I am able to draw the energy in. After the guards and Irileth debate if I could be dragonborn I head back to Whiterun to report success against the dragon. I hear the Greybeards call as I return to Whiterun. I tell Balgruuf that the dragon is dead and he gives me some heavy armor… I don’t use heavy armor… then I leave. I sell the armor at a local blacksmith since I never use heavy armor. Everyone is saying I should go straight to see the Greybeards, but I always head down to Windhelm after this so I can stop the serial killer there before he kills another victim. I leave Whiterun and head along the road to Windhelm. On the way I find Cicero and his broken wagon wheel. Instead of asking the farmer to help I use a Harry Potter spell, reparo, to fix the wheel myself. He does a happy dance and gives me gold before heading off. I wake up wondering how I didn’t do a reality check when I successfully used Battery and Whiplash in a game of Skyrim.
2019, 10-30 Skyrim: Bleak Falls Barrow Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am playing Skyrim VR, I am exploring Bleak Falls Barrow for what seems like the millionth time. There are bandits at the entrance and I nail them with fireballs when they attack me. To my surprise, one of the bandits actually runs away and doesn’t return to attack again. I go into the barrow and find a few more bandits inside. They have a camp set up and a couple maps, apparently these bandits have heard there is a valuable treasure somewhere in here and they hope to claim it. They attack me on sight and I take them out with fireballs just like the ones outside. I feel like I’ve played this level a million times, but things seem a bit different. I’m not exactly sure what is different, but something is. Thoughts of it being different slip from my mind as zombies attack. There seem to be more of them than I remember. Maybe I just set the game on a higher difficulty. Yes, that must be the difference. I fight my way through the zombies using fireballs and my sword. It also seems darker in the dungeon than I remember. Did I change the brightness settings? Well this is more realistic… an ancient crypt would be pretty dark. I continue through the passages, fighting the zombies that attack and finally I reach the chamber with the dragon wall. It looks mostly like I remember it looking in my previous times playing this, and I think any small differences are due to an update on a static mesh improvement mod. I read the word ‘fus’ as it draws my attention right to it and then more draugr attack. There is the boss draugr that comes out of the coffin in front of the dragon wall and three others that I don’t see where they come from. They are all especially weak against fire so I let more fireballs fly. When the draugr are all re-dead I find the dragonstone map of dragon burial sites in the treasure chest along with some gold. I have to take this back to Whiterun. I leave Bleak Falls Barrow and head down the other side of the mountain towards Whiterun. But I am still on the way when I wake up.
2019, 10-22 Skyrim: The Endless Loop Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am on my computer, sitting in my own living room. I am reading a web comic called Cookie and Rose by Cobi van Leeuwen which follows the adventures of two Pusheen sisters named Cookie and Rose and their friends and family. This episode starts out with the ladies entering into an Egyptian pyramid to explore. It is night and the headlights of their jeep provide the only light revealing the entrance. The ladies and a couple other Sheens enter the pyramid. One of them has a map showing the layout of an expansive series of passages and chambers in the pyramid. Shortly after they have entered the main corridor there is a loud noise and the ground disappears from underneath Cookie’s feet. Cookie drops out of sight along with the torch she is carrying. Everysheen gasps and Rose reaches for her sister, but it is too late. Cookie is gone and nosheen knows where to. This is where the episode ends. I leave a comment that says, “COOKIE! NO!” with a shocked emoji. Well that’s enough Facebook for now, I take out my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR. The game starts up and goes directly to the beginning sequence. I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. This stupid thing has looped again! I quietly curse at the Thalmor, who I blame for the loop. Then I find myself singing a song from Silent Hill 4 called Tender Sugar… “Not again, not again, not again, this dream I can't awake. What is real, what is real, what is real? It's getting hard for me to take. What I need, what I need, what I need, a little something I rely. And the white sugar gently hides me. Oh the sweet sugar saves me, it's the room that confines me…” The driver of the carriage calls back to stop that singing. I stop singing and I realize Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric are all staring at me. Can they hear me? This game wasn’t supposed to have voice recognition… Ralof tells me to go ahead and keep singing… what are they going to do? Execute me twice? This sets Lokir off, he says it’s all Ralof’s and Ulfric’s fault that he got captured and if he had his way he would see both of them burned alive over a low fire so it would take a nice long time for them to die. Then he emphasizes that he doesn’t include me in that, he knows I’m no foul Stormcloak and… I tell him to cram it. He does a double take, but then for a wonder, he shuts up. We arrive in Helgen and go in. I see Elenwen on a horse not far off. I mutter to myself that I will definitely fus her straight to Oblivion this time. A fus, a ro, and a dah and she will go flying off of the highest cliff I can find into the endless abyss. Then I realize I’m thinking aloud and Ulfric is looking at me and I shut up. Now I am in front of the Imperial captain who orders my unjust execution and the lyrics of Metallica come out… “Die, die, die, my darling! Don't utter a single word! Die, die, die, my darling! Just shut your pretty mouth, I'll be seeing you again. I'll be seeing you in Hell!” Then General Tullius is giving his monologue. Ulfric is completely ignoring him and looking at me. This seems to frustrate Tullius a bit, his monologue seems less confident and he finally walks off. Ulfric keeps staring at me. Now Evanescence lyrics from the song Taking Over Me come out, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself… “You don't remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do…” The lyrics trail off as I ask if Ulfric somehow DOES remember me… no, that’s impossible. This is another loop. Everything goes normally from there. They try to have my head off and then Alduin attacks. I follow Ralof and the other Stormcloaks into the tower. But then it hits me that I’ve lost all of the progress I’d made in my previous game. This feels extremely depressing and I just drop to my knees under the weight of the depression. I ignore Ulfric when he says we need to move now, he’s not talking about me. Ralof tells me to get up the tower, but I ignore him, too. I say I think I’ll sit this one out. Ulfric asks what I’m waiting for. I look up, wondering why Ulfric would be addressing me when there are Stormcloaks who need to get away safely, including a wounded Stormcloak near me. I focus healing energy and he recovers. It must have been him Ulfric was talking to. I return to waiting to see what happens if I just sit here. Then someone is pulling me to my feet. I look and see Ulfric. He says he doesn’t know why I have decided to give up so easily… I say I have done this sooooo many times… Ulfric continues and says there’s no way the Dragonborn would give up, we’re leaving now. Then Ralof is also pulling me up. If I don’t go I’ll probably get Ralof and Ulfric killed… but how does Ulfric know I’m Dragonborn? That hasn’t been discovered yet… I get up and go along with Ulfric and Ralof. Aside from Ulfric being with us everything is following the normal course. I get separated for a bit and have to follow Hadvar until I find Ralof again. I don’t see Ulfric. Ralof says they got separated. The rest of the intro quest goes normally. I take too much pleasure in setting the Imperial captain on fire, the one who ordered my execution even though I wasn’t on the list. Ralof and I get out of Helgen just as Alduin is flying away. Ralof wants to get my promise that there will be no more talk of giving up. I realize my depression has lifted some and I no longer feel like giving this cycle up. I tell Ralof it was a passing depression, and it has passed now. I thank him for helping me. He says we are both safe, that’s what counts. We make our way to Riverwood before I wake up.
2019, 10-17 Underground Slavery Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in a cage. There is a Dunmer outside the cage gazing in at me. He is wearing green robes and has some mechanical device over his left eye that makes it look like he has been assimilated by the Borg. I ask who he is and he says he is Shanath Selthri, we are now in Sadrith Kegran, and I am his property. I say no, I belong to no one. He says he bought and paid for me so I am his. I tell him I’ve heard enough of that bullshit, I’m out of here. He says not until he lets me out, I can’t even get out of that cage unless he lets me out. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut through the cage bars, creating an easy exit. Shanath steps back and stares at this and repeats that I am his slave and I must obey him. I find myself speaking in Disturbed lyrics. “I’m no slave, are you feeling brave? Or have you gone out of your mind?” I am thinking to cut him in two but then I stop… he’s no threat to me so there’s no need to kill. Instead I cut my blade through the air just centimeters from his chest. I’m rewarded with a look of fear and smell of urine. He has wet himself. Good enough. I unform my blade and walk out the door. I exit Shanath’s house into a city with huge glowing mushrooms. Graceful bridges span streams of phosphorescent water and strange crab creatures have glowing things on their backs. It is as bright as noon, but when I look up I see I’m not outside, I’m are in a huge underground cavern. Everything glows a different color, the result is beautiful. I wander through the town looking at the sights. The town is filled with mostly Dunmer, though there are some other people around. I notice the other people are all wearing rags while the Dunmer are wearing brightly colored robes like Shanath had been. I approach a woman in rags and speak to her. She looks at me but doesn’t answer. I try again. A Dunmer in dark pink robes comes over and tells me to leave her slave alone. I tell her she just lost her slave. And unless she wants to lose more than that she will walk away. I am feeling angry as I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and fix the Dunmer woman with what I hope is an intimidating glare. She starts responding with, “How dare you…” but then thinks better of it and hurries off. I turn my attention back to the woman. She looks scared. I tell her she’s safe with me now and will soon be free. I ask her if she can respond to me. She shakes her head and opens her mouth to reveal she has no tongue. I ask if these foul slave traders did that to her and she nods. I am even angrier now. I focus healing energy on the woman and it is able to regenerate her tongue. Her speech is a bit slurred as if she’s forgotten how to talk properly. She then points behind me. I look and see the woman from earlier along with a Dunmer man in green robes and several guards. The Dunmer woman points at me and says I’m the one who was so arrogant as to think I can take her slave. I glare at both of them and say true arrogance is thinking you have the right to abduct innocent people and bring them into an existence of forced labor and imprisonment. I tell her that ends now. I am taking the slaves with me. I will heal them and set them free. I brandish my Alex Mercer blade and add that if anyone interferes they will find themselves minus more than just a couple slaves. I keep the slave woman close to me as I go to look for more. The guards block my way. I still have hope of getting out without killing so I fus the group of five guards. FUS-RO-DAH! The guards fly backwards and land in a pile. I tell them that is the last non-lethal method I will use, so do not interfere! The Dunmer man says I can’t leave so I might as well give up. I ignore him and go off to find more slaves. I find more and heal their tongues. I have a dozen slaves with me when we head for the exit. When I go to pass through I feel my energy getting drained. I see I have an amulet on that is doing it. I pull the amulet off and throw it on the ground. I see they are all wearing the amulets so I take all of the amulets off and leave them in a pile on the ground. We all walk out of a cave and into the sunlight. Everyone seems to be unsure of what to do. I figure they need money to start a new life. I pull a purse full of gold from my robes. I have tons of it! I give each person 10,000 gold to start with and I still have tons left. What do I want to spend it on? I’ll hang on to it for now. I wake up here.
2019, 10-04 Fus You, You Foul Bullies! Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am in high school. I’m a student. Everyone is outside doing a scavenger hunt. There are items we are supposed to gather. Everyone is looking. I find a trash can with plastic bottles in it so I collect the bottles. I want to recycle them. A couple of girls laugh at me for going through the garbage. I go inside the library and find a girl reading. She finishes some soda in a red plastic cup and throws the cup away. She gets a new cup out and pours more soda. Why doesn’t she use the same cup? I go and pull the cups from the trash. The girl asks if I’m recycling. I say yes. She drinks the soda in her current cup and hands it to me before taking out another new cup. I say she can use the same cup. She laughs and pours into the new cup. I am annoyed as I leave the library. It is dark outside. I didn’t think I’d been inside that long. I start walking home. After I go a short distance, I think I’m going the wrong way. I keep going and I come to a bridge. This isn’t the way home! There are people on the bridge that look like they’re arguing. I head over there. I rub my nose and something seems off, so I pinch my nose to do a reality check. I’m dreaming! The arguing from the people on the bridge sounds like it’s getting serious. I get closer and I hear them talking to each other, something about a hat. When I get closer still I hear expletives, some nasty slurs referring to gay people. Then the fight starts. Three guys start beating the crap out of a fourth while a fifth calls out for help. I go over there and the man calling for help tells me to go get help, fast, before they kill Ade! I don’t need help for a few bullies. I go over to them and yell at them to stop. I get their attention. One kicks the man they have been beating one more time before coming towards me. The man on the ground is writhing in pain. One of the bullies who looks to be the leader asks what I’m going to do if they won’t stop? He calls me a little girl and tells me to go away before he decides it’s ok to hit girls. I tell them to leave the two men alone or else. He asks or else what? Am I going to cry? I say no, but I will fus them off this bridge. He starts to undo his pants and says he’ll give me a fus I’ll never forget. He approaches me. I ask if they’re refusing to leave the two men alone. He says he’ll finish with them after he’s done with me. I surreptitiously position myself where I can hit the three bullies with one fus. I tell the lead bully he’s done right now then I fus all three of them. FUS-RO-DAH! The force blasts all three bullies off the bridge. I look after the three of them and I see the splashes as they hit the water below. They struggle for a bit to regain full motion and then swim for the shore. They are swimming for different places on the shore, but that’s not a problem. They’ll live. I see someone waiting on the bank where the lead bully is heading. That person is dressed in a clown suit! What the fus is a clown doing down there? The man who had been calling for help asks me how I did that. I pay no attention, I am watching the clown as he pulls the lead bully out of the water. The bully, clearly angry and not wanting help, pulls his arm free of the clown and glares at him. That makes the clown mad. The clown’s face transforms into one big maw with what looks like hundreds of razor-sharp shark teeth. The lead bully is screaming in terror when the clown literally bites his face off! What kind of monster is that? I jump off the bridge to go after what I am thinking must be a demon of some kind. But instead of falling into the water I fall into bed and wake up.
Updated 10-04-2019 at 07:38 PM by 96283
2019, 10-02 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes The Dark Tower: I F’d Up In One Place I am in my bathroom. I am getting ready to go to bed. I am brushing my teeth. I look down and I see my kitty Shadow sitting in front of the tub. I know Shadow has crossed the Rainbow Bridge so I think she is a ghost. I go over and stroke her soft fur. I note how soft and silky the fur feels and I hear her reply with a purr. I keep petting her and she purrs louder. The bathroom door flies open and a man in robes who looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi rushes in, opens the toilet, then hikes up his robes and sits on the pot with an audible sigh of relief followed by some obnoxious noises. Shadow hisses at him and leaves the room. I am about to scold Obi-Wan Kenobi for scaring my ghost cat away, but I stop when I realize how absurd that sounds. Instead of getting mad at Obi-Wan Kenobi I pinch my nose to do a reality check. I am dreaming! Well that explains a lot… I want to get to the Dark Tower world. Doors are frequently used as portals in the Dark Tower world so I close the bathroom door and focus on the idea it will lead to the Dark Tower world. Then I remember I said I’d try to get MoSh in on the dream so I change my focus to MoSh’s inner world. Obi-Wan Kenobi makes some more obnoxious noises and a foul stench wafts from the toilet. I really want out of that bathroom now. I open the door and hurry through. I look around now and I see a place I don’t recognize. It looks like a normal neighborhood. MoSh is there, I go tell him it’s Dark Tower time. He asks if Jamie can come. I can’t remember who Jamie is. I ask MoSh if Jamie can handle herself if things get ugly. He doesn’t seem to know. I tell him I’m heading for the Dark Tower, or that’s where I hope to go. I look around for a door. I don’t see any door standing alone so I go to the door to a house. MoSh says he doesn’t know who lives there. I say it doesn’t matter, it leads to the Dark Tower. I open the door and step through into a field of roses. I am on a path leading through the roses to the Dark Tower, which is standing tall and dark at the end of the path in the middle of the roses. I hear a strange sound coming towards me from the tower and then the sound of Roland’s gun firing. There is an explosion not far from me as Roland tells me to get to cover for my father’s sake, he’s throwing sneetches! I look for MoSh and I see him there with a woman, they are headed towards the tower. The Crimson King is up on a balcony of the Dark Tower, I can see him in his red robes and hear him laughing like a maniac. Now he throws two of the spherical sneetches at once. I form each arm into an Alex Mercer blade and use the flat of the blade to knock them back, they explode safely in the distance. The Crimson King is having a tantrum. I look around again and I see some strange mutant Thalmor. When the Crimson King throws three more sneetches, I use my blades to knock them in the direction of those mutant Thalmor. Three of them explode in a bloody mess. Yuck. I see MoSh off to my left fighting with a mutant Thalmor that has a tiny little head and huge arms, but I can’t focus on that much because the Crimson King is getting hugely frustrated with his inability to hit me with a sneetch even though I’m out in the open. He keeps throwing more and I knock them away, and if I miss any Roland shoots them out of the air. I loudly ask the Crimson King if that’s all he’s got, because if it is then he’s more pathetic than I’d originally thought… and I’ve always thought he was pathetic. He has another tantrum as I get closer to the Dark Tower. It really seems as if all he’s got are sneetches, as he throws more of them. Now I am aiming them back at him. This is a bit more difficult to do so it takes a few tries before it finally works. One explosion on the balcony leads to a much larger explosion, probably the rest of the sneetches getting set off by the first one. Then I find I am with a couple other people at the base of the Dark Tower. Roland is there and he has been yelling a bunch of names, I don’t remember what names. Roland opens the door to the tower. I realize I still have the Horn of Eld. I’d hung on to it so it wouldn’t get lost before Roland reached the tower. Roland walks through the door to the tower and I quickly follow him to give him the horn. But when I get into the Dark Tower there is no sign of Roland. I am alone. I look around and start climbing. As I see familiar scenes in the rooms off of the stairway I realize that each person entering the Dark Tower would seem to enter their own instance of it… so I won’t be able to find Roland! Shit! I hurry up a few more levels until I have confirmed that I have fucked up royally. I focus on getting to wherever Roland is. At first it doesn’t work, but finally a door opens onto an endless desert. Roland is there and looks surprised to see me. I give him the horn and tell him if he wants to shoot me for my stupidity then go ahead. He just looks puzzled as I wake.
2019, 09-30 Skyrim: The Alex Mercer Mod Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am in my car with my ex-boyfriend James. We are on our way to work. We must be on some kind of business trip because we also have a hotel room where we will be staying. We arrive and the office is right next to the hotel. When we go to the hotel we find out that our room is on the opposite side of the hotel from the office. I find that annoying because it is a big hotel and it will take a while to make the walk. I drive us to the right area and park right in front of the room. We go inside and find it is a nice room. James changes clothes right there as if we were still together. I go change in the bathroom. Fortunately there are two beds and they are separated by a temporary wall like those that often separate office cubicles. After we are done changing we head for the office. It is a long walk. I break off to make a visit to the restroom. I find that some people are giving out free food, it is a service of the hotel. They are almost out but I am able to get a chicken drumstick and some potatoes for my breakfast. It doesn’t strike me as odd that they serve fried chicken and potatoes for breakfast. I go to the office where we will be working. I see James is jealous of my fried chicken breakfast. He says he will get some but I tell him they were almost out. He seems annoyed. I turn on my computer and get prompted to continue my setup in virtual reality. I see a VR headset on my desk. I pick it up and put it on… Now I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason this doesn’t seem odd to be playing Skyrim VR at work. And what a great VR headset! It looks like the laboratory of a mad scientist. Right in front of me is a Thalmor that looks like he has somehow been assimilated by the Borg. He says his name is Archeron. I make fun of him, imitating his voice and saying, “I am Archeron of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.” He says he doesn’t know what Borg is or about being assimilated, but I am right in that resistance is futile. He says I must be the new arrival who will help him break the tower faster. The Dark Tower? This asshole wants to break the Dark Tower? I say I will never help him. He can go fus himself. Archeron laughs and says I will be much more cooperative after my lobotomy. I fus him right in his Borg face. FUS-RO-DAH! Nothing happens. I do a double take. Archeron says he has already modified himself beyond being affected by such things. I ask if he’s immune to being sliced in two. He says no sword in Skyrim can harm him. I say I don’t use swords from Skyrim… I use swords from Prototype. He asks a prototype of what? I answer, “Alex Mercer.” I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and tell him I’ve had a few modifications of my own, I’m no longer a mere Breton, I am an unstoppable virus! He is trying to figure out what that means when I use my Alex Mercer blade to slice him from his left shoulder down to his right hip, effectively cutting him in two. The look on his face when he dies is one of disbelief. I want to keep playing, but everything fades to black and I wake up.
2019, 09-27 Dark Tower: Parting of the Ways Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes It is night, I am standing near a campfire with Roland, Susanna, Eddie, and Jake from the Dark Tower books. Eddie and Jake are transparent. Susanna is holding Eddie’s hand and Roland is holding Jake’s. There is a young man there I don’t know. He is drawing on a pad of paper. He shows his drawing, which is a work of art. The drawing is of Eddie and Jake. As if by seeing the drawing Eddie and Jake become solid. Susanna and Roland reluctantly let go of Eddie and Jake. As they let go Eddie and Jake start fading again. I look at the drawing and I see that is also fading… but why? Roland says it’s because they’re not really supposed to be here, that’s why. Susanna grabs Eddie, Roland grabs Jake, and they stop fading. But they don’t become solid again… I ask what is going on with Eddie and Jake. Roland says ka is trying to reassert itself. If Jake and Eddie don’t go to the world they belong in soon they might completely fade. So far they have only been able to remain in this world because of their connections. I realize that is why Susanna is holding on to Eddie and Roland to Jake, to try to anchor them in this world. Roland says there really is only one answer, Eddie and Jake have to go to the world they were meant to be in. And Patrick (indicating the man with the drawing) is the only one who can make it happen. Susanna goes over and whispers to Patrick for a bit, then Patrick starts drawing. I hear something out in the darkness, it sounds like something is creeping about out there. I feel a sensation of being watched. Roland sees me and says Mordrid is out there, and Mordrid’s a-hungry. I say no, it can’t be Mordrid, MoSh killed Mordrid. I am sure of that. Roland says something is lurking out there. I stare out into the darkness, trying to see what’s out there. I see something is reflecting the firelight. I slip into the darkness, ignoring Roland saying I shouldn’t. I use my night vision and I find the thing. It looks like a cross between a giant beetle the size of a large dog and a praying mantis. It attacks me, but I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and slice it in two. The thing melts into a strange black fluid that flows off into the darkness. I return to the camp and now there is a door standing near the edge of the campsite. Susanna is looking at the door, still holding Eddie’s hand. She opens it and lets go of Eddie. When Eddie and Jake get near the door they are solid, but they start fading when they move away. Eddie says that must be the place. He is reluctant to leave because he wants to reach the Dark Tower, but he knows if he stays here he won’t make it anyhow. He and Jake will fade. After some debate it is decided that Susanna will go through the door with Eddie and Jake. Roland seems worried that the door is a trap that leads to toedash space. I say if it does I will get them out. I think Roland just doesn’t want them to leave. Susanna, Eddie, and Jake go through the door. After a brief hesitation Oy follows Jake. Patrick stays behind even though Susanna tries to get him to follow. The door closes with a resounding thud. Now there is only Roland, Patrick, and me at the campsite. Roland looks depressed. Patrick curls up and appears to go to sleep. Roland sits by the fire and stares into it. He says maybe I should have gone, too. I say it would make no difference, I will wake up back in my prison dimension where I have no skills, no talents, and no abilities. Roland says he doesn’t believe that. I say yes, I always end up there. He said no, he meant he doesn’t believe I have no skills, talents, or abilities there. I don’t answer. He looks more depressed so I put my arm around him and give him a hug. I say I’ll probably wake soon, but I will be back, I am sure of that. I want to see the tower… if the roses around the Dark Tower have the healing properties of the one in the vacant lot then maybe it can even overpower my depression. Maybe both Roland and I can be free. I wake up here.