Mydera

Dream one- I can't get my kids to sleep tonight, and I'm getting really frustrated and tired. the medicine I am on for my chest pain makes me feel like I'm going to fall asleep standing up, and they just won't sleep. My son asks for water, he's drank the first round I gave him already and just can't sleep without more water. I grudgingly get up and walk into the kitchen to refill his water bottle. My mom is standing in the kitchen with my former step brother, getting water from the fridge as I came in to do. I set the bottle down, really agitated that she's over so late and unannounced when I am already struggling to get the kids to bed as it is. "What the hell are you doing here?" I grumble. She replies, "I was in the neighborhood, and Dylan was thirsty, so I let myself in to get him a drink. I didn't think you'd mind!" I start to bring my hands up to my head in an expression of frustration and anger, then stop. My hands look weird, and she doesn't have a key to my house. I realize it's a dream, and try counting my fingers. I have five on the right hand, but seven on the left, and one of those seven is huge and misshapen. I shake my head, relieved, and tell her, "Never mind, this is just a dream. You can do what ever the fuck you want, I'm out of here." then I run through the kitchen and into the living room where I jump through the window. The window never seems to change, but I am able to pass right through it as if it doesn't exist. Part of me is still really unsure though. I know this is a dream, logically it can't be real, but my god it feels so real. usually my lucids still have a sort of muted dreamy quality to them. There may be one or two senses that I am focusing on, but all my others are normally quiet. Not this time, this time I smell the dirt and the grass, I see everything as real as life, I can feel the breeze and hear distant stormy noises, I can even feel my full weight of my feet on the ground below me. I think I'm going to try to force the unreal feeling by flying, but I can't get my feet to stay off the ground because I am struggling so much with how real it all feels. I notice the neighbors across the street have a trampoline in their front yard, and decide to try using that to launch myself into the air to fly. I run over and climb on, just to be completely blown away again by how much I can FEEL in the dream. I'm not just feeling the trampoline under my feet, I can feel the weave of the cloth moving below my feet, my hair moving around my face as I jump, and even the whole electric fear falling feeling in my arms and chest b/c I hate free falls. I try jumping higher and higher, noticing there's a trampoline in their back yard as well. I think maybe I can jump from one to the other and then take off in flight from the second trampoline since I can't get myself in the air on the first one. I jump to the second trampoline, and still can't get skyward. I decide to jump off the trampoline, the ground impact not hurting will surely break the whole "this is too real to be a dream" feeling, I land on the ground, feet first, with the impact throwing me slightly off balance so I end up on my hands and feet rather awkwardly and painfully. That totally didn't work as planned. I realize I have wasted a lot of dream time trying to force control of the dream, and I want to use my lucids to search for Kurasawa as much as possible, so I give up on control. I look for someone to ask about him, to find a direction to go. The neighbor has come out of her house, she's a middle aged black lady in the dream but I have never actually seen these neighbors in the whole year I have lived here. I walk towards her, and she stops as if a bit confused as to who I am and why I am in her yard jumping on her trampolines. I try to create a picture of Kurasawa to show her, but as hard as I try the square "picture" I am trying to draw into existence won't show up. I remind myself that I don't need to be able to see it, I just have to convince my brain that SHE can see it, and hold the air as if I am holding the picture. This works, and the lady stops, clearly in recognition, then takes an involuntary step backwards. "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but I am looking for someone. Have you seen this guy? and can you tell me what direction I can find him in?" She shakes her head, and takes a couple of steps back as I take a couple of steps towards her. She ducks under her clothes line, and starts retreating to her back porch. I follow her, imploring her, "I know you've seen him. I can tell you recognize the picture. Please tell me where I can find him!" She continues to shake her head, climbs the steps of her porch, then turns back to me. She takes a deep breath, then points behind her house, deeper into the neighborhood and up a hill (In the real neighborhood, the hill goes down not up like in the dream). I can't remember her exact words now, but they were something like, "He's up there, where she keeps all the ones she uses to control people. I can't help you." I start to ask her who "she" is, but the lady hurries inside her house as if she's afraid to be outside any longer. I walk up onto the porch as if to follow her, wondering on my way up the steps who "she" might be. Is "She" one of the goddesses I have dreamed about in the last year? Could she be the goddess Bridge that I have found myself calling my patron in dreams? Is she my own sub conscience? Why is she holding onto him? Is she trying to control me with him? On the porch I look out over the neighborhood and up the hill in the direction the lady had pointed. I can see lots of houses of the neighborhood, even some of the modular homes in the subdivision they built adjacent to ours. I notice the corner of a house tucked in behind those modular homes, and it just sticks out to me as important. It just FEELS like Kurasawa is there. I zoom my vision in on the corner, and it's as if I am not only looking through binoculars, but also pushing the houses between me and it aside to see the full house in better detail. At that moment, the overcast sky comes to life in a stormy rage. Thunder growls, lightning crackles, and the wind whips all around me as the sky gets darker and darker until all I see is black. Thunder claps, and instead of lightening lighting up the area, my vision flashes with clips of newspaper too fast for me to read. I realize that I am losing control, possibly even the whole dream it's self. I can actually remember in the dream that there were thunder storms called for, and I am sure this is the storm arriving in the waking reality and bleeding over into the dream reality. I try to cover my ears to block it out, too panicked to realize that dream hands can't block out waking life sounds. I fall, spinning, through the blackness and wake up.

Dream Two- I am on some sort of beach trip with many of the coworkers I interact with the most. The whole dream is very confusing because it jumps back and forth in time. One of the girls I work with has a new white car that is super fancy and all kinds of expensive. She is very proud and protective of it. We've got a really rickety house that we've all rented with many rooms. Every family has their own room. My boyfriend and kids are playing video games, but I want to explore the area. I go outside and find a forest oddly nearby. The forest looks almost dead and abandoned, but as I walk through it I hear my boss telling us about it as we unpack in the shack (like a memory I guess) and then I watch as he talks about the legend of faeries and elves bringing the forest to life, the forest in fact does come to life. I can even see the little fairies flitting around making it glow and grow. I twirl and dance through the forest like a cheesy movie scene just enjoying the magic of it. Then I am walking into a little beach shop with my kids, boyfriend, and boss. I need to pee, so I find the bathroom. As I am pulling up my drawers a lady and her handicapped daughter literally break the lock on the door to get in. Realizing the girl's disability though, I try to be as understanding as possible and just jerk my pants apologizing that I must be taking too long. The lady grunts to me that they just couldn't wait anymore because her daughter is special, then starts to use the restroom right in front of me. I stumble around looking for a sink to wash my hands, and when I can't find one the woman calls me an idiot for not realizing there just isn't one and getting out of her way. The daughter is grimmacing at her mom's rude behavior though, and keeps giving me apologetic looks. I bow to the daughter slightly and tell her I am sorry to have caused her any trouble, and that I think she is far more special in a far better way than her mother could ever understand. She seems to get that I am telling her that she is a way sweeter, better mannered person than her mother, and nods. I am grateful that she gets I am bad with words, but think highly of her for putting up with such a mother. I scramble out of the bathroom and my exhusband is in the shop. He starts fussing and yelling at me for who even knows what, I can't remember. My boss comes over and tries to get in the middle to defend me and my character, and I feel awful about it. I run outside and hop in my coworker's brand new fancy smancy car. My exhusband follows me, climbs in the car, and starts berating me again, this time getting so angry he's flinging his arms and fists animatedly around the car hitting the windows and dash and seats (he's not a violent person, so in the dream it didn't seem dangerous even though it sounds like it was lol) I show him out of the car as hard as I can, and tell him to get lost. He storms off after slamming the door, and I realize the car is in shambles around me. He's busted the seats open and dented both interior and exterior. I start crying again as my coworker comes out freaking out over her car. She cries too. At some point we start laughing about how funny it is to see the car looking so bad if you aren't attached to the situation. Then, I wake up.

My boyfriend and I are renting a couple of trailers on a lot in the back of a rural "neighborhood" One trailer, the one we are living in, is really old and just looks ugly and worn. The other trailer is very nice, but we don't live in it because the bathtub is broken. (An interesting parallel to our real life, we own our home, but the bathtub has cracks in it from before we purchased it. We've fiber glassed it over, but that patch is on it's way out after just a few months) I am walking around the nicer trailer, thinking that the tub shouldn't keep us from living in it instead because it still has a really ritzy shower system in the other bathroom, and it's just so much nicer than the place we were living in. I find myself in the room with a shower, and it's HUGE. The shower isn't even like a shower, but rather looks like a giant kiddie pool that gets about a foot or two deep at the most. It's probably five feet wide and at least ten feet long, complete with 4 shower heads and a seat like ridge all around it so you can sit in the shower and soak your feet in the kiddie pool like basin. I notice a large pipe like tunnel that leads out of the shower at the seat level, and crawl through it. It leads out to the front yard, to a multiple level pebble step waterfall. I go back inside the front door and walk back to the bathroom, and notice there is a little tv and advertisement demo on the wall as if the trailer was a showcase model meant to be walked through and not lived it. It shows a video about how you can turn the shower into a small swimming pool by pushing a button to activate some sort of low gravity field. It looks really cool, and I call my boyfriend in to see it. Only when he gets there, I can't get it to show the right video, it just keeps showing youtube like commercials that you can "skip add" but never loading the right video. I get aggravated and just walk away, this time through a door that wasn't by the pipe tunnel before. the door leads into a sauna that the pipe helps provide steam for, then there's another door. I go through the other door and find that it's a sun room surrounded by windows with two white metal chairs and white metal shelves that I imagine would make a lovely sun room for growing plants in. I then walk out a door that leads to the front yard, and the pebble step water fall is much bigger, it is more like a porch now with stepping stones so you don't get your feet wet. I make another round inside through the front door, this time not stopping to really look at anything in particular, but just walk steadily through admiring the whole set up. When I make it outside this time, there is a water slide leading from the shower through the sauna and sun rooms, then out to a giant pool in the front yard. I stop and look incredulously at the water slide. I speak to myself out loud, "Ok, that waterslide was definitely NOT there before. I must be dreaming!" I turn around to look at the front yard in front of me again, and realize that now instead of being a few steps above the ground level, the pebble porch is a full 15 feet high. My son runs out of the sun room dressed in his swimsuit and jumps off the edge of the porch into the now huge pool below me screaming, "Cannon ball!" all the way down. I want to jump, but even knowing it's a dream I am kind of scared to, so instead I decide to fly instead. It's been so long since I have had a lucid that I struggle with control a bit, finding myself unable to create wings. I decide to flap my arms instead, and find that I can only get a few feet off the ground before I float back down to the ground. I decide to take a different approach, and pretend that I am riding an invisible horse instead. That lifts me off the ground, and the invisible horse jumps from the porch landing safely on the ground with no jolt or hint that it was a 15 foot drop. The horse is running towards the road, and I notice a Knight on horseback with shoulder length brown hair. I think that I am going to catch up with him and get some fighting training, but he spurs his horse on, apparently terrified of the witch on an invisible mount. I think that I am going to ride behind some houses that he is riding in front of so he won't see me closing in on him, but after about three houses I remember that I've been trying to obtain lucidity for a reason and that as much fun as all this is, I need to get back on track. I stop the still invisible horse, and make it cease to exist. On my own two feet again, I look around for someone nearby. I can see the trailer turned house turned water park now in the distance, and a gorgeous lady with dark coffee skin and a bright red and white spotted bathing suit is only about ten feet from me walking towards the water park. I rush over to her and ask her if she knows where I can find Kurasawa. She tells me she doesn't know anyone by that exact name, but there is someone two houses over that has a similar name. I thank her and tell her she looks cute in her bathing suit. I run two houses down and knock on the door. A man in his twenties with tan skin, a mole by his mouth, and a curly almost afro-like but smaller hairstyle answers the door. There's a toddler holding onto his legs. I tell him that I am looking for Kurasawa, and ask him if he knows him. In the dream though I am losing lucidity. I am able to give Kurasawa a last night, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was now. The man picks up the little boy and holds him in the air above his head as he replies to me that he "does know a Kurasawa (different last name than I mentioned, but I can't remember this one either) who is going to college (some where I can't remember)." Lucidity is slipping, and I realize it because the last names aren't the same, and I am trying to remember how to focus and hold onto that lucidity. I close my eyes, and see news paper text on my eye lids, but instead of trying to read them I freak out that I might wake up now that my eyes are closed and too much like my physical self lying in bed. I open my eyes, and I'm now standing in the dude's kitchen, but I feel dizzy, like the whole world ins spinning around me. I mutter something about no, the names aren't the same, that's going to wake me up, and then I open my eyes to my dark room.

I can't recall any dreams before or after that last night, my recall has been terrible since I haven't been actively journaling in years. all I can remember about the last names is that the one I mentioned had a K in the beginning and an R somewhere in the middle or end. I remember the one the dude with the toddler mentioned had a M in the beginning and an S in the middle. Just adding that in in case it is important later

Dream One - I am on a raft on a river, using a long stick to push against the bottom of the river to steer and move the raft. There is a young girl on the raft, she's maybe between 5 and 7 with long blond hair that's curly at the ends. She looks a bit like my daughter, but in the dream I know she is not my little girl. I am trying to take her home, though I don't know where her home is. I pass a man standing in the water neck deep, and in the dream I know him and say hello to him. He wishes me a good day as we pass, and I wave to another person who is also standing neck deep in the water farther down stream, but I steer the raft to shore here. There is a factory by the river, I don't remember what it made but I think it was either a snack food factory or a soft drink factory. The little girl and I walk past the factory and up a sparsely wooded hill that's almost big enough to be a small mountain. At the top there is a multistory brick building and we go inside b/c I feel drawn towards it. I walk into a room and feel the familiar presence of K, but there is no one in the room. I feel the pulling in my chest and follow it to a secret brick passage way. The tunnel turns left a couple time and leads up to a room maybe 8 feet wide by 10 feet long. There is a single twin sized bed to the left and a circular window to the right. On the bed lies K asleep. I walk over to him, smile, then bend over to kiss him awake. He wakes up, rubs his face, and asks me how I found him. I reply to him that I felt him and that I am a very determined person. The little girl speaks up now, and tells me that he is her daddy and that he protects her mommy and keeps her safe. I feel a brief flash of jealousy that I haven't seen him in my dreams in ages and it must because he's taking care of someone else. The flash of jealousy fades very quickly though as I remind myself that I've also stopped the constant search in my dreams and waking reality for the last few years. I turn to the window and absent mindedly ask the girl who her mother is. I wake up before I get an answer.

Dream Two - I am trying to buy pizza at Pizza Hut, but when I go to pay I remember I forgot my wallet at home. They are going to go ahead and make the pizza b/c I know the manager and they trust me, and I am going to go get my wallet while the pizza is cooking to pay when I pick it up. A little girl in the lobby with dark hair about 4 or 5 is playing with my bike, but hands it to me as soon as I walk over. I get back to the tall brick building, only I forget where I am going and ride my bike down the stairs. There are two older ladies talking about a mental health patient at the bottom of the stairs. Overhearing them, I realize I was supposed to go up and turn around to go back up the stairs. When I make it to the apartment I remember in the dream as being K's, I walk in to find a woman from work there going through both his and my wallets by a table that has pictures of he and I. Strangely, his hair is dark instead of it's normal blonde. I confront her, and she says she needs the money and he's too nice to tell her no even if she had asked for the money, and takes two bank cards from his wallet. She throws my bank card at me and tells me she doesn't need mine, she'll make do with his, and leaves me standing there speechless at her blatant rudeness and thievery. I feel bad because confronting her with words didn't stop her, and I know that K won't be mad at me because he knows I am bad with confrontation and standing my ground, and that makes me feel even worse. I go back to the pizza place to pay for my pizza, but the pizza isn't ready yet, so I walk into the store next door to kill time looking around instead of sitting in the lobby and wallowing in how bad I felt for letting his cards get stolen by someone I knew. I see the woman from work in the store, and confront her once again. She tosses one of the cards at me telling me she already used that one for lunch so I can have it back, but she still needs the other one for her shopping. I jump on her and try to wrestle the second card back from her, and wake up.

Dream Three - I am at my dead Grandparents house, down in the garden. There is a group of 10 - 20 men marching behind me in black leather armor with gold studs and rings. We are each carrying a cut Christmas tree. I slam my tree's cut trunk down into the ground trying to make it stand on it's own, but it falls over. One of the men behind me laughs and tells me I have to use my true power, my human form won't plant that tree. I try again, this time reaching within to find the feeling of control and power that will allow me to shove the trunk of the tree into the ground, and further more cause the tree to take root from the cut end. The men behind me do the same until we have a small forest in an almost tear drop shape. I turn back towards them and start to walk between them, until I meet in the middle with the dark haired K who is still carrying his tree. Together we walk back to the front of the formation where he plants his tree at the very point of the tear drop formation and cries out, "For Asgard!" I grow wings, jump into the air and fly above the men to the center of the formation once again, this time drawing a glowing line with my finger that opens a large swirly purple portal. I cry out, "It's the second coming of Asgard!" and wake up.

I am running up the steps of the local science center trying to reach the top floor before someone on the elevator does because I know there is a great evil on the top floor and I must defeat it before the person on the elevator is harmed. The science center is far bigger than it is in real life, 23 stories verses 3. I stumble around corners in the stairways as they twist in odd ways and am never really sure if the next set of stairs will be to the left or to the right, yet still reach the top floor before the elevator, and I step out into the hallway. There are dead bodies and detached limbs laying all over the blood coated floor, and a woman stands at the end of the hall way covered in blood. The woman lifts her hands and causes all the bodies and limbs to rise up from the floor and reanimate into zombies that begin shambling towards me. I don't panic, instead I feel a power bursting from my chest (as a practicing pagan, I know that as the feeling I get when I am praying or connecting to the divine) The power in my chest grows, and I confidently will the woman and the bodies to be destroyed, and they burst into a poof of dust that disappears. I then stumble back, and fall into the elevator shaft. At the bottom of the shaft I land in a large dark body of water. I struggle for the surface in a panic and can't make it. I calm myself, and once again feel inside of me the divine power and pray for the goddess to help me understand what I am supposed to do now. The water below me pushes me up like a shock wave, and suddenly I can see blue sky above the surface, and swimming towards it is effortless. When I break the surface, I can see that I am in a public pool with people everywhere and many very thick pillars placed decoratively around it. I see K to my left, crouching at the edge of the pool. He extends his hand as if to reach out to me, but them pulls it back towards himself in a "come on" gesture before springing up and running off towards a pillar. I swim to the edge and try to follow him, however he has disappeared behind the pillar and once I get behind it he is gone. I see a couple nearby, a blond girl and her blond boyfriend. I know he doesn't really look like K, but suddenly I can't remember what K looks like, and in my doubt I go to ask the boy if he is K. The couple both laugh at me and act like I am crazy, so I walk back towards the pool thinking that if K isn't around then I don't have much reason for being here. I feel an urge, am inner tug, towards the diving board of the pool. I walk to it, then up on it. When I reach the end of the diving board, about to jump in the water, the water comes alive, pulling to the back of the pool like a giant water monster or tidal wave preparing to move against me. Once again I feel that divine power and will it to be destroyed. The water explodes into a billion raindrops that fall all around yet still manage to refill the pool. I jump in the water, and find myself standing in the home of my Grandmother and Grandfather, who died 11 and 4 years ago. Something doesn't feel right in the house, something feels evil, so I walk from room to room turning on every light until I am satisfied the house is full of light. I then walk outside into the night and look at the house from the back yard. There is a giant spider the side of several cars side to side on the roof, rearing back in an aggressive about to attack stance. One last time I reach inside of myself to call upon divine help and cause a tree to grow up through the house. The tree is not solid, but more like a swarm of teardrop shaped green leaves that grows up through the house, breaking the roof and branching out to grab the spider by each leg, the head, and the abdomen. The tree grasps the spider and pulls it apart, reducing it to the same dusty nothing the evil lady had been in the first confrontation. The branches then grab all the broken pieces of the house and pull it back together as it shrinks back into the ground as if nothing had ever happened. A delivery truck pulls out of the woods as the sun rises, and I walk next door to my aunts house to get my children that she was babysitting. I take both my children by the hand and as we walk towards the door to go home I am full of calm and peace and wake up.

By far one of the best feeling dreams I have had in a while. I am sure it was influenced by my renewed effort to pray daily, as opposed to just whenever I feel like I NEED to, as well as by the solstice. Wanted to make sure I have a record of it for future reference

I dreamed that I was at work. I wasn't doing my usual job, I was helping out in another department as I have done for the last two weeks. I put down the frame that I am inspecting and my tools, then turn around and start walking towards the door. As I walk through the plant towards the door, it gradually changes into a night forest and my coworkers begin to follow me, transforming into beautiful ladies around my age maybe as young as early twenties, all dressed in toga like dresses with a rope tied at the waist. My own clothes also change to this outfit. We stop at the edge of the forest, and a beautiful woman appears facing us. She stands taller than all the rest of us by a foot or two, but it doesn't seem odd to us. It just gives a physical representation to the power we can feel radiating from her. She names herself as Athena, and tells us that she has called us there to choose two of us as her champions. She chooses a beautiful blond girl and myself, and promises us that if we are victorious in the coming battle then we will win what we want the most. The trees on the edge of the forest grow together and form a large black wall with a white door. The blonde girl opens the door, we we both walk through. The room is the size of a tennis court with black walls and floor, with a thick white line cutting the room in half. On the other side, two more women walk through another door followed by another goddess who's name I can not remember. Athena follows us in, and declares to the other goddess that we are her champions, and the other goddess announces that the fight will be three rounds to the death. I definitely don't want to fight to the death, however two curved knives that reminded me a great deal of bolines appeared in the hands of all four of us champions. The girl directly across the line from me leaps towards me with her knives out. I fall back, scramble and dodge and try to argue my way out of the fight. I didn't agree to fight to the death, I don't want to do this! The girl leaps in again and I throw my own hands and knives forwards to block her attack, but end up cutting her hand off as well. The hand's momentum doesn't stop though it drops the knife, and the hand ends up grazing my arm as it keeps moving in my direction, smearing blood and fleshy pink gore on me. I jump back as the handless woman screams out in anger and pain, and look to the other champion of Athena. She's used the moment of distraction to take out her opponent, then looks to me and yells to finish her. I start stuttering that I don't want to kill anyone, but Athena reminds me in an eerily calm and motherly way that this is a fight to the death, it's her or me, and I am not doing her any favors by prolonging the battle and the pain. Realizing I have no way out and that she's right that a quick death would be far better than a slow and painful fight, I accept this fate and glide quickly and gracefully the ten feet between me and the staggering handless girl, and I slice her head clean off with both my blades. Then the other goddess calls out two more champions. I start to argue that she can't do that, we've already defeated her champions, but she reminds us that we have only won one round, we have to win three rounds to claim a victory. Once again, the blonde quickly jumps into the fight with her new opponent. My opponent is a quiet girl who looks a good deal like a stereotypical library chic who would do better with a book in her hands than knives. She is hesitant and I can tell she is scared, but I also know there is nothing I can do, it's her or me. I leap forwards like my first opponent had, catching the girl completely off guard and try to cut her head off for an instant painless death as well. I fail, and only manage to cut half way through her neck. Her face contorts in surprise and pain, and I curse under my breath as she starts stumbling backwards and farther away from me. I leap in again, this time finishing the job. I catch her body in one arm and her head in the other, and gently lower her to the ground and apologize to her corpse for not making it a clean death the first time. The third round goes much better, the girl is aggressive like the first, and I am able to simply hold my knives out as she leaps towards me and use her own momentum to decapitate her as she attacks. then the other goddess calls out another set of champions and I advance towards the other goddess with my knives defiantly telling her NO. She said three rounds, we have won three rounds, this stops NOW. Athena walks up to me, and smiles in a motherly way and nods gently to me saying, "Yes child, you are right. We said three rounds, and you have preformed exceptionally. Whatever it is you want, is yours." Then I wake up.

Can't remember much now that I have worked all day and am about to go to bed again, so I am going to type in my senseless dream notes and try to fill in anywhere I can remember.

Dream One - Argument with Mom, hardware store, bad parking, re-park elsewhere, dude comes out with computer, game returned he didn't ask for, print outs are gorgeous, Snake and mouse. I can remember speaking to some guy at the end of this dream, and he just made me feel like he was cornering me or something. The moment I drew the analogy in my mind of him making me feel like a mouse trapped by a snake, I saw the very image of a snake attacking a mouse and woke up.

Dream Two - I am playing a game of some wort where I am playing as the bird adviser from the lion king, flying through rings that make a path through the sky and even down into the ocean. It must be some sort of Kinect or motion control games because when I struggle flying through the water I start waving my hands wildly and reaching out as far as I can and that helps me move through the water. After I come up out of the water I am suddenly an inkling from Splatoon and shooting easter themed bad guys shaped like robot bunnies and robot baby chics.

Yuuup, that's all I have. One dream that I have notes for that I can't even remember now and one dream that I can remember that was just plain weird o.O I figure this will be closer to my normal since I only get about 6-7 hours of sleep on work days.

I noticed I didn't have this dream online, and it is one of the most current and frustrating K dreams I have had, so I wanted to go over my oddly very detailed dream notes and vivid memory of the dream and make an official dream journal memory I could go back over later, even when my dream notes have been lost.

I am going down the street where some of my paternal extended family lives. I see lights up in the sky, flying in very choreographed patterns. I am sure they are UFOs and near by. I half walk half run towards the lights. In a usually vacant field is a floating eyeball of fire, just like the eye in lord of the rings, complete with a lava tower beneath it and what looks like lava pooling out from around it on the ground. There are two girls with me, one's name is Melissa but I don't really know her or anyone like her in waking life, the other I don't even have a dream name for. The eye and lava tower become a man in a white robe with a giant eyeball mask on his head. He's running towards us throwing fire balls at us, and I happen to dodge and catch one of the robe sleeves throwing him off balance and knocking his mask off. Under the mask, he's just a nasty sweaty guy with a seriously runny nose. The runny boogers are so bad they are trailing a couple of feet down from his nose and when he tries to catch his balance sans the mask, the boogers whip out to land across my arm. Gross! We break into an empty home nearby to wash up a bit, and I take off the jacket I am wearing that got snot on it. The home owners are returning, so we run out the back door and through the woods behind the house. I briefly worry about my jacket that I left behind linking me to the break in, but my dream brain quickly stops caring. On the other side of the woods, we find a graveyard and it's sunrise. there's a truck parked out on a maintenance path, and there's a form standing outside the truck. When we get closer to the truck I realize the form is K, but his face and body are all swollen up from some sort of crazy allergic reaction to something. I wake up.

I fall back asleep thinking of the previous dream, and this time find myself walking back through the same graveyard. I am following K, though he is far ahead of me, and he quickly arrives at a house. I try to speak to him, but he is scrambling around and basically blowing me off muttering about dream research he has to do. He isn't swollen up anymore, and he looks older, haggard even. I go downstairs upset and trying to just get away from this unusual rejection. Downstairs, the basement of this house is filled to the brim with boxes and all kinds of old bikes and random junk. I manage to squeeze my way through over and around all the mess to a window. I open the window and climb through to find myself in the front yard. There's a yard sale going on in the front yard, and there are people that my dream self knew as friends sitting on the steps chatting, as well as a couple of little dogs running around the yard amid the items displayed for sale. K has walked out the front door and is still mumbling about dream research. I tell him that we are in a dream right now, and we could research better together if we could just find each other! The sudden admission that I am in a dream causes me to have a false awakening. I wake up with my cheek on a dark wooden floor facing a set of stained glass front doors. I walk towards and through those doors, and as I do the new looking floors age and become worn out looking as well as the rest of the house. When I am out in the neighborhood, I decide that K's house from earlier in the dream will be in this neighborhood, I just have to walk in the direction that feels right. I find the house with the yard sale, and K is on the front porch still. There is a rolling chair on the sidewalk near the steps he is standing and the friends are sitting on. I sit down in the rolling chair and tell him my name and the city and state I live in. He says something about "Faust" and "Curro", I am confused because his words sound muffled and distorted. I ask him to repeat them and I reach for a laptop on the ground nearby thinking I will look the words up as he tells them to me. Once again, his words are muffled and distorted and I wake up trying to concentrate on them too hard.

K was very out of character in this dream. Instead of the usual calm, collected, bad ass who always seems like he has everything under control and can protect me from anything my dreams throw at me, his allergic reaction and almost frantic mumbling about dream research made him seem very weak and very much a mess incapable of even caring for himself. In the end, he was able to kind of pull himself together and actually try to accomplish something, but even then the lack of clarity in his words and voice was very different from usual. I've contemplated that this was not really a K dream, but then no one has ever had the same feel as K in dreams, and there was no mistaking it in this dream. I have also wondered if perhaps I somehow made it into one of those random dreams we all have where our stresses and anxieties take over and we just fall apart where he was unable to control himself, assuming that K is another dreamer and not just a special dc. Then there's always the chance that my own fears and anxieties over hardly ever dreaming of K anymore caused me to dream that he was falling apart.

Dream One - I am at work, but I am not at my usual station. Instead of inspecting furniture at the end of the line, I am at the front of the production line where the insiders do the seats and arms of the furniture. I push a chair all the way up the line and to the shipping belt. The lady on the belt at the time, D, tells me that chair is going to be sold at an employee only auction for $45. I think about what a great deal that is since it usually costs around $300 to buy the same chair in stores. She pushes it to another section of the floor where there are many other chairs of the same style but with different fabric, all marked up for sale at $45. I go back to the station in the front of the line where insiders usually are, and this time I have a wooden headboard foot board combination set at the station. I look at the travel ticket on it and it is also going to the employee auction. it's really pretty light wood, and has old country style sunflowers painted on it. (I have the dream note "Pictures for mom" here, but can't remember what that meant now that I have been awake for a few hours) I really like this bed, so I walk over to my boyfriend's station and ask him to come look at it. If it costs less than $200 I want to buy it to replace the bed we have in our room right now. before he makes it over to look, I wake up.

Dream Two - I dream that my boyfriend and I are walking into an orphanage to look into adopting. The place has an old Victorian exterior, but seems really empty and almost unlived in on the inside. we do see plates of food on the table, but no people. we step out the front door, and then hear some woman screaming, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and I instantly feel terrible for the kids there, sure she must be yelling at one of them. I turn around to look back inside, knowing now it can't be empty. A small boy, maybe 3 years old is hiding in a bush under the window and peeks out at me. Before I can say anything to him, my attention is drawn behind me. Jay and Silent Bob are standing against the fence asking me if I want to buy any weed. I tell them no, and then reprimand them for selling weed at an orphanage. Jay angrily throws money at us and shouts, "Vacuum it up bitches!" and I wake up.

Dream Three - I am walking into a castle, holding hands with Cinderella. She's so excited to be bringing me home now that we are married. I feel a mix of excitement over being a princess as well as sadness that I married a princess and not my boyfriend. Cinderella takes me into my new room. The room is decorated in mostly blue and shears, with big fluffy covers that nearly swallow you when you plop into bed. There's a giant window on the right side of the room, and I walk over to it. Cinderella excitedly tells me that she was so excited for me to notice that window. It looks down into another bedroom. She tells me that she arranged that room for my boyfriend, and that prince Charming's room is connected to hers similarly. Just because we are married doesn't mean we have to part from our beloved boyfriends. I instantly feel much better about the whole situation. I don't mind being married to a girl, and definitely don't mind being married to a beautiful and well off princess! We walk out of the castle to view the gardens. The sun has gone down and the moon is up high in the sky, casting a beautiful pale glow on everything. I notice a shadow moving to our right and go to investigate. It's a heartless from Kingdom Hearts, only it's tiny, about the size of a Rabbit. At first I think it's adorable and bend down to pet it, but Cinderella screams and I remember that the heartless are actually bad guys and could steal our hearts! We run back inside the castle. Cinderella gets ahead of me and I am stumbling through the castle looking for her. I go through a dark empty ball room, and then find myself in the kitchen. Cinderella is in the dinning room looking out a giant window. I think she looks so pretty, even in danger like we are. I wake up.

Dream Four - I am in a blimp with my boy friend. Through one of the windows we see a giant Charizard coming towards the blimp, it's claws extended and it's mouth open wide. Suddenly I am simply an observer, and I watch as Ash, Misty, and Brock fall from the giant hole ripped in the blimp. Ash shouts out to Pikachu to use thunderbolt, and the to Moltres and Zapdos to use fly to save everyone. On the ground, Brock sees a nasty puddle of something on the ground. He shouts to Ash and Misty that there's a strange energy in the puddle. They walk over to him, and a stray fireball from the Charizard in the air hits the puddle evaporating it into a stinky cloud instantly. Under the puddle was a magic silver Magikarp statue, to which Ash has the mate. They are excited to have both statues and jump in the air, putting the statues together at the same time and causing a bright light that wakes me up.

Dream Five - We've bought a Frozen themed Easy Bake Oven for my 8 year old son. It has a moving cylinder on it that you can use to change the "theme" and look of the oven just by spinning the dial. My son wants to make brownies, and has already mixed up the mixture, but he needs help pouring the batter. The oven's instructions call for some crazy brownie methods, pouring the batter into four cupcake papers and then trying to fit them all in a square pan. I think it'd be way easier to just pour the batter in the pan and cut it later, but then decide it might not cook right, there must be some reason they want it done in cupcake papers. I pour the first three just fine, and then when I go to pour the fourth I find myself adding legos to the cupcake paper before I pour the batter. I stop myself in mid pour and think that it isn't right, I shouldn't be adding legos to the brownies, that's not right! Then I wake up.

Dream One - I'm at a concert inside of a mall waiting on my ex husband to bring my kids to me. There's loud music, lots of people really close together, and fog machines making everything look hazy. I'm trying to look around for them, but the crowd is so thick I can't see through it and have to start walking around the outside perimeter hoping to catch a glimpse of them when they get there. I walk around a group of six or seven people and see my kids and their dad behind them. I walk up and say hey, and apologize for not being able to see them through the crowd, I hope they didn't wait long. My ex husband leaves, and I show my kids some sort of meter that I have in my hand that I got from hot topic. It's linked to the concert somehow, that whenever you attend the concerts with this meter it gets you free merchandise credit. I have two more meters in my pocket, one for each kid. We talk about all the cool pokemon and pony merch they have and start planning what we want to spend our concert attendance points on as we walk out of the large concert room and into the main mall. The mall is bigger than any mall I have ever seen, and I've been to a pretty big one in DC when I was a kid. As we are walking through we see lots of stores already closed up for the night. We go down an escalator, and there's another escalator across from it. Music starts playing, and a slightly heavier than average woman in a sexy tight red dress starts dancing through the mall. She's wearing some sort of paper mache TV mask that makes her look like she has an old TV from the sixties for a head. She's singing as she dances about how much she loves shopping and how wonderful the mall stores are. We hurry towards the exit of the mall and I wake up.

Dream Two - I'm heading out to my car in a big parking lot outside of a medium sized building. I think it might be a school or college that I am leaving, perhaps some sort of educational convention. There's a lady and a dude who are waiting on rides and I offer to take them home so they don't have to wait. Both accept my offer, and my car is parked in one of the first few parking spaces so we don't walk far. I decide to take the T tops off and ride them home in style. I get in the car, and the man gets in the passengers seat and I start driving off. I realize the lady got distracted and didn't get in the car when I hear her yelling at me to wait while she chases down the car. Unfortunately I had just pulled onto the main road when she was close enough to hear. I try to stop and put the car in reverse as there is nothing coming, but as soon as I start backing up the car a bunch of other cars start coming up the hill behind us and honking their horns at me for driving like an idiot. I ignore them and back right back into the parking lot anyways. The lady is no longer there. I drive a circle back through the parking lot looking for her, and finally find her back at the front of the building waiting on her ride. I try to apologize, but she's not mad at all. She thanks me for forgetting her, and tells me that by staying there a little longer a great opportunity opened up for her. She doesn't elaborate on what the opportunity is. I offer again to take her home, and she says she needs to stay there another half our or so, I can take her home only if I am willing to wait that half our. I don't want to wait, I want to get home. The man I was giving a ride home to starts talking, and while I can't remember what he said, I got really aggravated and annoyed by it. I stop the car just before I leave the parking lot and tell him to get out. he argues, and I start cursing and yelling at him until he gets out and slams the door. I drive off and wake up.

Dream Three - I am once again leaving a college, this time on foot. There's a hill very much like the one at my late Grandma W's house that I am walking up. I look at my hand and think it looks weird. I start counting my fingers, and realize I have 8 on one hand. That's not right, I count again. Once more, 8 fingers. I realize I MUST be dreaming! I try to concentrate once more on my hands, now curious how I can have 8 fingers and it look almost normal. This time however, I only have the normal 5 fingers, and decide that maybe my counting is off in dreams and not so much that my hand actually had 8 fingers. At first I continue walking up the hill, then decide that I am not going to continue the path of the dream, I am going to go out looking for K instead. I turn right and head towards an older building that I recognize from a dream in the past. In the dream I am pretty sure I had seen K in that building before so it's a good place to start looking. Lucidity starts slipping but not completely. The building has different little shops in it, one of them being some sort of bass pro shops home store that I have never dreamed of before. I walk into the bass pro shop home store as it looks like the main entrance, and then go up some stairs into a little office lobby. There are different little office doors with different titles on them, one of the is the Faerie Arcane office. I knock on that door, thinking that K must have something to do with magic that we meet in dreams as we do. Lucidity is mostly gone, but I at least follow my purpose to find K. The door swings open when I knock and there are three ladies in the office. All three are middle aged, with tons of makeup and jewelry and their hair styled with tons of hair spray and gel. One is at a desk, and the other two are standing in the corners, and they are all chatting fervently. They turn and look at me, the one at the desk demanding to know what I want. I tell them I want to speak with the faerie arcane office about someone I am seeking, and they tell me they are too busy and I will have to come back tomorrow. I close the door disappointed, and start walking out of the building. I wake up.

Dream Four - My boy friend and I are working. I realize it's getting about time for our doctors appointments so I got to tell him it's time to leave. He tells me his appointment isn't until three, even though I am so sure it's at 2:30. We leave anyways. I don't remember any drive, it's like we are just suddenly there. The building looks like a grocery store building, however it has a neon purple sign on the front that says, "Mydera's" I also notice my exhusband and his new wife and their families chilling out on the roof of the building. I have a brief flash back memory of putting the "Mydera's" sign on the building in The Sims 3, then we get out of the car and walk in. We are late for my boyfriend appointment, it was in fact at 2:30 not 3:00. Also, the appointment I thought was there was with a different doctor an hour away and there's no way to make it there in time. We decide instead to go into the movie theater in the building. There are rows of sofas and love seats instead of movie chairs, and the movie screen has Splatoon on it. Everyone in the theatre is playing on the same screen, but the screen doesn't split off into individual character views, it just shows the whole stage making it impossible to tell who you are and where you are going. I get frustrated that I can't figure out which character I am or see around most of the stage and that frustration wakes me up.

Dream Five - I am at work inspecting a chair. There are two slubs on the outback of this chair. One at the top and one at the bottom. My boyfriend comes up behind me as I place red tape on the slubs and asks what I put the tape on there for. I tell him there are slubs in the fabric, then he sarcastically replies, "No, those are fine, they're supposed to be there!" I shake my head and then set down my red tape. If my boyfriend is there then it must be lunch time. He's putting huge pickle chips on a hamburger. The pickles look weird, they are all huge and lumpy. Realizing they don't look right wakes me up.

My daughter who was visiting family out of state had to go to the er last night for a sparkler burn. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep b/c I felt just awful about being four hours away, even though she was only at the hospital for an hour and was just fine, it was just a precautionary measure on the part of my family to take her to the ER and be checked. So I took 5htp as well as a couple of Benedryl to help me sleep. Having had the dream of K a few nights ago, I also took a prenatal vitamin to help build back my dream recall. Usually I have to take the vitamins a week straight to get good recall, but I guess mixed with the medicine and the attempt to take notes the vitamin worked immediately. I also got about 10 hours of sleep thanks to the medicine, where as I am normally lucky to get 8 full hours. I also had a few almost dreams early in the night where I was awake enough to hear my boyfriend on the computer, but still seeing little movies behind my eyes. The moment I would acknowledge however that I must be falling asleep, I'd wake up fully and not even remember anything other than, "I was dreaming of splat rollers" or something equally vague. All in all though, it was far more productive a dream night than I anticipated. If I am able to keep up with my dream journal, I won't expect such good results most of the time lol.

I am tucked into a little indention of a dirt wall next to a dirt ramp. I have been dreaming for a while, but this is the earliest memory I have after waking. I peek around the corner to check for anyone coming. When I know the coast is clear I run down the ramp to a sheer drop on the path. I stop and look over the edge, there are two men on the lower level facing me but not looking up. One is very short and not very memorable, the other is sitting on a block or barrel or something. He has buzz cut light hair, maybe red or even dirty blonde, he's got a cigarette between his lips that moves as he talks and a grey over sized gun in his right hand that he's waving in the air as he speaks. I can't hear him, but recognition of danger strikes. I know he's after someone, and I know where that person is, but my brain is foggy and I can't remember the name of the man that I need to warn. I turn and go back up the ramp, passing my original hiding place and turning left to another ramp and indention in the wall maybe forty to fifty feet away. There's another couple of people there. I don't pay attention to or else don't remember the person farthest away from me because I am too distracted by the blonde man I am there to warn. I feel like my breath catches, and I struggle to find words through my brains fog. I keep screaming in my head, I know this man, why can't I remember his name? He's important, but who is he? The man asks me what's wrong, and I reply with a warning, "He's here, he's coming for you! I saw him!" The man tells me sternly to go home and hide in the closet. I express worry about him facing this other man, and he tells me with complete confidence, and almost order like, "I will take care of him. Go hide, now." Our dog runs up by my side with a toy in her mouth, and I start worrying about her being in the way and getting hurt, so I agree to hide, telling him he'd better come back because puppers wants to play with him, and I don't want her disappointed. He nods silently, and sings a gun off his shoulder. He heads the direction I came from, and I head farther up the ramp away from trouble. At the top of the ramp is the house I lived in growing up. It's been over ten years since I've lived there, but it doesn't strike me as odd. I take puppers into the house and go to my old bedroom closet. there's a ton of stuff and boxes in there, and I start moving them out and piling them up in front of the door to make room for me and puppers. the thoughts runs through my mind that it'll be easy to find us with all these boxes in front of the door pointing to us hiding there, but then I relax because I don't believe the bad men will ever make it past the man I warned, I trust him with my life completely. I notice a dog treat and a dog bone on the floor while moving the boxes and decide to take them inside the closet so puppers can chew on them and keep quiet. I settle onto the floor and pull on the bottom of the door to close it, then start petting puppers and talking to her all quiet and soothingly trying to keep her calm and quiet.

I wake up, at first paranoid and scared that I am still hiding. The fog clears quickly though, and I realize that I am in bed and that the important man who's name I couldn't remember was K. It bothers me somewhat that I couldn't remember his name even though I knew in the dream he was so important and trusted him completely. My boy friend and I spoke of it, and came to the conclusion that the lack of recognition is likely due to the lack of importance I have placed on my dream life, finding K, and learning from the experiences lately. Still, I feel like I have missed a great opportunity with this being my first K dream in months, and with the few K dreams I do have being months and months apart. The guns and ramps are likely due to playing lots of Splatoon lately.

Only one dream to recall from last night. It starts with me going out to my car. For some reason my mom is visiting and we're going out to the car to chat where no one can hear us. My daughter follows up though. I get in the passengers seat, and my mom in the drivers seat and my daughter climbs around the car in our laps, on the floor, where ever she wants to go. I can't remember what we talked about, but the windows were rolled down and I heard someone yelling out for me. I climb out of the car, and go towards the back of the house where the yelling is coming from. I can see through the windows of the basement that my friend A is standing in the basement door calling out for me. I start to finish walking around the basement to go talk to him, but then a side door that doesn't exist in reality opens and a guy from work is in the side door asking me where I keep the cat food. I walk into the basement to find two guys from work in my basement trying to feed my cats, only they've given the cats three tubs of water each and no food! I also freak out because the cats are in really tall cat cages and the cages are dirty. I tell them I can clean the cages myself and not to worry about them, and then scurry around trying to clean the floors of the cages and empty the water from the tubs so I can put food in them. Unfortunately the water spills all over the concrete floor in the basement, and then there's a TON of water and it's pouring in through the back wall. I realize then that instead of walls, the basement in my dream has chain link fencing around it. Then I see that I have notifications on my phone for facebook. I check them, and A has commented on 21 of my pictures. I'm wondering what the fuck he's commenting on all those pictures for, and go to see what they are pictures of. It turns out they're screen shots from the movie The Never Ending Story and he's commenting what act and scene the shots are taking place. I think this is weird, and don't even bother looking at more than the first two. My phone keeps beeping with more notifications but I ignore it and walk over to a laptop computer sitting on a coffee table. I look at the screen, and it's old school my little pony stuff from when I was a kid, like the tv show. I watch as the ponies on the screen let out war screams and go into battle against one another. I think the "seahorses" look pretty weird like snakes, then I wake up.

First night in a long while with decent recall. I really want to get back into my dreams, but it's hard lately for me to remember them with so much else on my mind.

Dream One: I walk into Toys R Us with my family, or at least thats what I think it it at the first part of the dream. We see a stack of boxes for dolls and doll accessories. My husband runs over with my daughter and starts getting very excited that his little girl needs to have her own special "dollie" to dress up. I grab a buggy and push it over to the stack and look. There are three kinds of boxes, all the same shape. One type of box has the doll inside, one has a doll sized wardrobe to put all the dolls clothes in, and the third one has a whole bunch of doll clothes. Each are $65. I try to tell my husband we can't spend that kind of money on the doll and all it's accessories when we don't even know if she will play with it or not, but he insists that it's Christmas and she needs it. I say fine whatever and let him grab the boxes. He ends up knocking them all down though, and having to pick them all up. While I'm standing there waiting for him to finish, I spot a pile of sticks on a shelf. Curious why they are there, I walk over. Turns out they're actually toys and decorations made of natural sticks and twigs. I think this is very cool and back to nature-ish, and then notice that there are also blinds for windows made the same way, and twig like brooms. One broom has purple heather mixed in with the bristles and I think to my self how wonderful it must be to make your house smell pretty when you sweep as well as how it seemed almost too pagan for a mainstream store.

Dream Two (Fragment): All I can remember of this dream is being in a house with a plastic chandelier (ripped straight from a book I was reading last night lol) and a blond guy. In the dream he was very quiet and distant just standing in a corner and watching me. I wanted very much to be standing beside him and even to lean on him, but in the dream I felt too ashamed to look at him. After waking I realized I think this was K, my "dream guide" or "dream guy" or whatever he is

Dream Three: I am at the lake and looking for my best friend C. I can't find her, and I step out onto the porch to grab some extra chairs for my party guests. Through the window I can see C walking out of the water. I open the door and yell out to her that it's November and she's going to freeze. She tells me that since I wasn't getting in the water when I had talked big about doing it, she was getting in for me. She walks up the shore and I go off looking for a towel and mumble about how they don't keep towels at the lake in the winter time. I never find a towel, but somehow C ends up with one anyways and she's laying on the table, maybe asleep. Suddenly, my cousins arrive and are mad that I am there with friends b/c they want the cabin that night. My party guests tell them to leave because we're already here, and I freak out hoping my cousins aren't mad and feel guilty b/c my cousins wanted to use the cabin but I had used t instead.

Dream Four: My husband and I are at a birthday party for kids. We're watching someone else's little girl as well as our own two kids. The party is over and we're leaving, but the little girl is asleep. We try calling her mom to come get her, but the mother wants to meet us someone to pick her up instead. We go back to the lake cabin to drop something off, and then I drive home in my work car and my husband drives home in our family car. Instead of going home though, we go to my grandpa who died last year's house. When we get there, I don't see the little girl, and my husband tells me he left her at the cabin for her mom to pick up because she was asleep. I panic because you can't leave a five your old by herself even if she's asleep! I jump in my car and start to drive to the cabin hoping she was asleep and ok and hadn't woken up and gotten scared or lost or hurt. I woke up before I get there.

Dream Five: I am at a friends house, but it's a two story house instead of her real house. I see a girl run by crying, and my friend is chasing her. When the friend stops chasing her, I go to ask her whats wrong and find out whats going on. The girl tells me that the friend is trying to get her to sleep with her (yes, both girls in this case) because the girl's husband is sleeping with my friends other girl friend. I leave feeling sad because I knew the girl friend has mentioned interest in me, but I feel not so special to see her chasing other girls as well. I wake up as I go outside.

Dream One (Fragment): I am in a school gym, lining up in a line and trying to figure out an excuse not to participate

Dream Two: This dream starts out with me being outside a small old house. It's a small house, and pretty old and run down. It might even be a trailer that's falling apart. There are woods behind it, and a gravel drive way with an old squarish blue grey car from the early 90s in the drive. I have a couple of friends hanging out near the woods, and I walk over towards them to say hey. They're talking, but I can't really find any point to jump in on the conversation, so for a while I'm just half listening half looking around and feeling uncomfortable because I don't know this place very well. My friends decide to go inside for a bit, and I start to follow them inside. on the way inside I gravitate towards my friend Chas and decide to just hoover near her because I'm sure she's just as uncomfortable in the group as I am, and we can sort of be each other's moral support. There are pictures on the walls, and I recognize a child in some of the pictures as being a cute guy I sort of know, but not really. We'll call him W. It soon becomes clear through conversation that this house belongs to W's grandmother. We walk through a living room, across a short hall and into a kitchen. The grandmother is there, a short lady in her late 50s to early 60s with graying blond hair (or maybe it's dyed blond and was grey) She smiles bigly at me, and shakes my hand and introduces herself to me. I smile back and try to be as nice and sweet as I can, even though I'm really uncomfortable with strangers touching me. Then I start feeling a bit claustrophobic because there are so many of us in this tiny kitchen. The grandmother seems to be aware of my discomfort and tells me that we should go sit in the living room where there's more room. She never lets go of my hand after she shakes it, instead she holds it and leads me back to the living room. In the hall, she stops for a moment to open a door to a room where W is playing a video game, and tells him that he should join us in the living room. He declines, and I am reminded that W doesn't really talk to me much. Some days he acts like he's happy to talk to me, others like he doesn't care to even acknowledge my presence. In the living room I sit down on a couch, and the grandmother lets go of my hand when I am seated and sits in another chair across from me. My friend Chas has apparently followed us, and she sits down to my right on the couch as well. We start chatting about the pictures on the walls, and the grandmother starts telling us about them. It's then that I realize she also has a couple pictures of me when I was little on the walls. I point them out, and ask her why she has them. She looks at me with teary eyes and tells me that my mother gave them to her. I ask her why my mom would give a complete stranger pictures of me, and she starts crying. She tells me that she is my real biological grandmother, and that while my family wouldn't let her and my other blood relatives on that side of the family see me, they at least sent them pictures so they could see how I grew up. I can't think of any other possible explanation for these pictures being in her possession, but this one seems so far fetched I start questioning her. I ask her why I didn't know about her, and why my family wouldn't let them see me, and she tells me that it's because my family wanted me to fit in with them, and if I knew I only half belonged there I would never feel like I fit in. I reason this is somewhat true, because even thinking I belonged to both sides of my family, I've always been a black sheep in the family. So then I ask why W has never said anything to me, because if he's her grandson and I'm her granddaughter that would make us cousins. She explains that he holds a bit of a grudge against me for never choosing to be part of this family, even though I didn't know I belonged. Everything seems so overwhelming suddenly. I start crying, there's a whole family I didn't know I had, and a lot of the social anxiety I have with these friends because W and I don't get along swimmingly suddenly seems to make sense. I feel like it's not fair, because I've tried so hard to be nothing but nice and friendly and fun, and its like W wants to be friends one moment, and couldn't care less the next. Seeing as how these friends are always bringing him up when we hang out, I feel like that tension causes problems in those friendships as well because I can't carry in on those conversations. I wonder if this is why I never fit in with my dads family, because I'm not really family at all, or is it my mothers family that I don't belong in? And why wouldn't they tell me when it became apparent that I still didn't fit in so that I couldn't find the place where I do? My friend Chas hugs me, and starts whispering to me that it's ok. Then she asks me why I am crying, how does this make me feel? and it's only then that I realize omg, this guy I thought was cute is my cousin! Yuck! then I start giggling, and I tell them I'm ok, but really I'm mostly making myself laugh because I don't want to deal with it all at once. Chas says I need some fresh air, and helps me outside where I can breathe and get away for a bit. Outside it's a bit chilly, but not cold. I gaze at the woods for a bit, and just let my mind wander as I take in the fresh air and feel the wind and just let my senses and surroundings take me in. After a short bit, I'm ready to go back inside, and Chas and I head back in. Everyone is in the kitchen again, and the grandmother jumps out of her seat the moment she seems us, and she asks me if I would mind being inducted into their family. I'm confused for a moment, asking her if I misunderstood about being a relative, and she says no, that I am a member of the family, but that she wants me to join in on their magical bond as well. I agree to, happy to not only find a family, but to also find more open minded people as my own family doesn't much care for pagan life or any aspects of it. She calls W into the room, and tells him that I'm finally going to join their circle, and unlike earlier in the dream, he suddenly seems really happy about it. He tells us he'll be right back, and rushes back to the room he had been playing games in before. Then I notice my friends are all filing into the living room and the grandmother is pulling a kitchen chair into the middle of the hallway. She tells me to have a seat, but when I start to turn around and sit in it, she tells me to straddle the chair because I will need the back to lay my head on. I do as she says, and W comes back into the hall with a small bucket full of water. Grandma has another chair now, and she's siting it so that it is touching the chair I am sitting in, and when W sits down in the other chair he is behind me, with a leg on each side of my chair. He tells me to relax, and that he's going to dip my hair in the water. I feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but I love water, and when he pulls my head back gently, the moment my hair enters the water I feel a thousand times more calm. He gently cups water over my head, and gets even the hair next to my scalp that won't reach in the bucket wet, then wrings the extra water out and sets the bucket down. He then tilts me forwards and tells me to lay my head against the chair back, and I do so. He places his thumbs on either side of my neck, and gently starts to massage up my neck, and then to my scalp. At this point he tells me that I am relaxed, and that he's going to hypnotize me and ask me a few questions. I suddenly panic, what if I say something stupid? Worse, what if I admit I found him cute while I'm hypnotized?! They wouldn't want me in the family if they knew I thought a cousin was cute, even if I didn't know he was my cousin when I formed that opinion! I start to turn my head and tell him no, but I'm so groggy my head feels super heavy and I can only partially turn. I see his face, and he smiles as he reaches forwards and turns my head back around and helps me settle it back on my arms, "Shhhhh. It's ok, trust me. " and then I feel like I'm falling asleep. but I keep blinking groggily, like I'm half awake and half asleep. I catch little bits of what he's asking and what I'm saying, but I can't make sense of it because I'm so sleepy. I'm so comfortable and relaxed, I just want to sleep there forever. Suddenly I am more aware in the dream and think I've woken up. W is still behind me, but now he's leaned against my back with his arms around me and he's telling me that it's ok, he's going to move me to a bed now where I can sleep. I ask what happened and what I said, and he smiles mischievously and tells me we'll talk about that later. His strong arms pull me gently to my feet, but he holds me against him so I'm more leaning on him that standing on my own legs. He helps me walk to the room where he was playing video games earlier, and there's a double bed there with tall bannisters and a patchwork quilt. He lifts me and places me on the bed, and I'm so tired and groggy I can barely move to thank him. He brushes my hair away from my face, and then he starts to pet my hair and speak soothingly again. I go back through that phase where I am too tired to understand what he's saying, I'm just so comfortable and relaxed I want to stay curled up there with him petting my hair for eternity. Then I start to waken in the dream world again, and he's not there anymore. instead my husband is next to the bed, and he's angry but he's trying to cover it with a mask of concern. He's asking me if I am hurting, and I tell him no why would I be? He takes my arm and shows me several welts that are crisscrossing on the bottom of it. He tells me that they did this to me, and when he tried to stop them they said I had consented and I would be ok because they wouldn't hurt me. I look at the welts, and they look like they WOULD have hurt, but they don't and I don't even remember getting them, so I tell him it's ok, I'm not really hurt. I was passed out when the actual pain would have occurred and I don't feel anything now. The skin wasn't broken, so the welts would fade in a couple hours and it'd be like they never happened. He seems unhappy, and he tells me I need to go home, but I don't want to go home, and I tell him as much. He looks like he's about to cry, but then W walks in and smiles. I close my eyes feeling suddenly like even if my husband is there, I don't have to stress, because if I don't want to go home or if I don't want him around, I will have help enforcing my will. Then I wake up for real, but when I do, I am in sleep paralysis, only without any old hag syndrome, instead I'm frozen in a state of pure bliss I don't know how long I was in that state, but when I finally found my body moving and twitching awake, I felt like I'd gotten way more sleep than I did. I went back to sleep though, in hopes of continuing the dream. I didn't, and when I woke up I was double tired, lol.

I took a nap and had a dream. I recounted it to a friend, so I'm just going to copy paste that recount rather than retype the whole thing again

I don't remember much of the dream at first,

though later during the dream I "remember" and earlier part of the dream, so it may be a bit confusing

THe earliest I can actually remember I am sitting in a rectangular tent

THe tent seems to be in yellow with green banners

and it's a very canvas type cloth like stalls from the Renaissance festival, no surprise there because that's where I've been all day

there are wooden benches all around the edges of this tent, and people are sitting on them listening to a woman in the center

the woman is very small and graceful, and she turns as she addresses the entire tent,

so while she's talking with her hands and turning. it almost looks like she's dancing

and she's talking about the future of the craft

and how we need to be teaching our children, or it will die out. That the majority of craft members were younger folk who stumbled into it
in the dream a notebook is passed my way

and it's a planner, turned back a few months to an old month, and in the notes is written a single line asking me what I think of the womans speach

I look the direction the notebook was passed from, and sitting almost caddy corner to me is a really pretty boy with long dark hair and a thin almost feminine face

He smiles gently, he looks younger than me, but in his movements and facial expressions he looks much older

I take the pen that's in the spiral of the book, and write that I think she's right and I have heard the same from another high priestess

then I pass it back to him, and he writes back asking me who I heard it from, and passes it back, I write it I heard it from, he then changes the subject to my hands and tells me he can't help but notice how small they are, to which I start to reply, but then my attention is brought back to the lady in the center

she's talking now about how most of the council members are old and none of the newer folks can relate to them, and that we need more young council members that the newcommers can relate to

or else we'll never keep new comers in the craft and it will die out

Then the guy whos been passing the notes speaks up that he is the youngest council member, and that the second youngest council member is five years his senior, and the one after him is 10 years his senior

Then I realize that I am not helping the case for younger people being responsible enough for a council position if I'm passing notes back and forth like a child

so I close the book, pass it back to him, stand up and walk out of the tent

I start to walk up a grassy path up a hill, and I see my dad who is VERY anti craft, lol

and my younger brother, only instead of being 22 like he is now, he's 10

and they're waiting for me at the top of the hill. They ask me where I've been and I tell them, but then instead of getting angry my father tells me I need to go back so that I can learn more and find out how I can help

He tells me that while it's true I am not helping by passing notes, there are ways that I can help, and if I just stand up and walk away, that help will never be realized

SO I turn around and start to go back. I have to step over some train tracks to get back, and as I do a cloud starts to cover the sun, and it's a HUGE dark cloud, and I can see as it slowly covers the sun the shadow it casts moves over me, and then down the hill in front of me until the afternoon sun looks like evening

I look up into the sky, and it's suddenly very stormy looking, and I get a bad feeling, like something bad is going to happen. I wonder for a moment if a plane will crash from the sky or if lightening will strike the place on fire

But then I remember the tent of witches, and that in my heart I really do believe in magic and I have seen it work in the most direct indirect ways possible lol

so I decide to continue back to the tent where I am sure everyone's energies will keep everyone safe.

My father starts trying to talk me out of it though, telling me that I can just walk away like I originally planned, he didn't think it was safe to walk back in a storm

to which I tell him that my help is no less needed just because it's storming. IN fact, if things are rough, they need my help more.

and I start walking back, confident that I will be safe when I have reached the tent.... the wind blows and the scarves I'm wearing fluter out in front of me, and I look up to see people stepping out of the tent some fifty feet away... then my kids came into the room and woke me up

Only fragments, but it's better than nothing.

Dream One: I'm arguing with my husband. He's saying that he's going to leave me right away, and he has a girlfriend. I'm only upset because I worry that him leaving now is going to mess my kids up in school, and I tell him I won't allow him to leave until summer break. I tell him I'm not happy with being together this long either, but it's what we have to do for our kids, then make a bunch of violent threats of what I'll do if he doesn't grow up and take care of his kids.

Dream Two: I'm standing in our living room and marveling at how clean it is, and wondering where all the big toys that don't fit in the toy boxes are because I'd never been able to find room for them.

Dream Three: I'm at pokemon night. I'm hanging out with some of the friends I'm finally starting to make. My son wants to go to get food from Taco Bell, so we head out to the car to leave. For some reason S and D, and one other totally random guy that isn't anyone I know in waking life wants to go with us. We all go to get in the car, but then when I open the door to buckle my son in, D (who's actually an adult that my son likes to hang out with there) is sitting in my sons car seat. I realize then that my car only has one passenger seat and two kids seats. I reason that it's ok for D to sit in one of the kids seats because he's really skinny, and S can sit in the passenger seat, then my son in the other kids seat and me in the drivers seat, there's just no room for the 3rd dude that I don't know. I try to explain this to them all, and they just seem to feel like I don't want them to go because if they can't all go together they don't want to go. Somehow the car becomes a table and we're all sitting at a table now. D lays his head on the table like he's tired or not feeling well, and my son throws a doll blanket over D's head. Then he picks up a naked barbie on the table and starts poking D's head under the doll blanket. The random dude asks where the doll and blanket came from, and I say that they are my daughters toys and she must have left them in the car. Then S lifts the blanket and D looks up, smiles, then flips the blanket back over his head, making it obvious he's not really sleeping, just joking around. I think to myself about sliding the naked barbie under the blanket and making a joke about how a naked barbie is all the action he'll get, but then I don't because I start over analyzing it. I know I'd make a joke like that with my brother and several of my friends, but I wonder because I don't know him well enough if he'd take it too personally and not get that it is a joke. Not sure what to do at this point because I worry my normal personality would be too mean, I decide instead to get up and walk away. I wake up as soon as I get out of my chair.