false awakening

So I slept from 12midnight - 3am, then couldn't sleep until my alarm went off at 6:45am. I hit the first snooze and as I drifted off, I got WILD vibes. This is the first time I had this particular type of sensation: As I fell back to sleep on my side, I suddenly felt like I was on my stomach with my face pressed against the pillow when the vibrations started. I found it difficult to turn this into lucidly getting out of bed, and when I finally did, I kinda fell over. Then the alarm went off again (9 minute snoozes).

I was still on my side, and I drifted off again, and felt vibrations again. I was able to get out of bed a bit easier this time, and looked at my phone. The screen lighting was dull, and the otterbox was fitted all weird. I couldn't think of any tasks other than the 2 I had already done, so I just left the room and went down the hall to the livingroom. DC Danny was sitting on the couch, and I just randomly decided to do a karate jump kick. As I was suspended in the air in a kick position, the thought occurred to me to continue the kick through the window, but I woke up when the alarm went off again.

I fell asleep again, then suddenly woke up, worried that I had slept in. So I reached for my phone, and it was like it was in one of the DEILD chains: messed up case and screen. LUCID! So I ran back to the livingroom for a second go at the karate jump kick. Didn't even notice if Danny was there this time. I did it and aimed for the window, willing myself to phase through foot first without breaking the glass. And it worked!!!! My foot went through the glass as if it were made of a really stiff jello. I float-flew a bit outside, and it was so nice. Early morning, lots of dew on the grass, and the streets were a bit wet as if it had rained during the night. Sin was sparkling off everything, and the air was cool but not cold. I flew up a bit too high and felt a bit of vertigo, so I landed on the edge of the roof. Then I tipped forward with my feet still on the edge of the roof, and straightened my body, tipped until I was parallel with the ground. Very cool sensation. Then I put my right foot out in front of me, and let it stretch (or the ground moved up or both), until it touched the ground, all the while my left foot was still touching the roof. If you could see it, I probably looked like I was doing the splits, while my legs doubled in length lol. Then I put my left foot on the ground, and took off running through the wet grass that sparkled like emeralds. It felt so good, but I woke up after a few seconds. I checked my phone for real this time, and I still had 2 minutes left, so that last dream + falling asleep time only lasted 7 minutes.

The fact I got so little sleep was so incredibly cancelled out by the buzz of these fun lucids. I wasn't that tired at work, didn't even need a break, and only took a 2 hour nap when I got home. Everyone should be so lucky after a night of insomnia.

I slept in really late. At one point I tried to check the time on my phone, but my left eye wouldn't open, and the phone screen was senseless garble. I'm dreaming!

I get up with the surgery task on my mind since I thought about it last night. I go to the bathroom so I can see in the mirror. I brought my phone with me and the time says 6:58. then i look away and back and it said 6:49, then i looked away and back again and it said "9:69 (really)". like it truly said "really" after the time lol! anyway, The only tool I can find is a dentist pick. I lift up my shirt and start to make an incision but it hurts lol! I say out loud, "I can't do this!" But I just think fuckit, and tear a line down my abdomen, which was nothing more than a deep scratch and no blood. It hurt a bit but not like an actual incision. I set down the tool and put each hand on either side of the scratch, and pull outward. The skin splits perfectly and I'm staring at my rib cage and a bunch of organs that look like steaks! I select one that kinda looks like a stomach and remove it. It wasnt connected to anything, and no blood. I set it on the sink, and it just looks like a sirloin steak lol. Then I look at my reflection and there's a ZIPPER no lie, where the incision is. So I just zip my skin up and I'm fine.

Sometimes I think my subC is too cartoony and keystone cop for these gory tasks :p

Well CL, you were right. We recorded an in depth podcast, and it was like major fodder for my lucid early this morning.

I woke up at 5:30 am when Danny had to go to work. I know that before that, I was tossing and turning for hours. Because I ate a bunch of cheese crackers right before bed. At some point after Danny went to work, I fell back to sleep. Then I had a brief FA, where I thought I had woken up, but to my left was Danny sleeping in the bed. But I knew that he'd already left for work, and Danny always sleeps on the right. He looked like Danny, and rolled over on top of me as if to give me a kiss, but by then I knew it wasn't him. In a split second I went from "Oh shit...." to this thing wailing all over me. My vocal chords were paralyzed, so I couldn't talk nice to it. I felt like something was holding my hands down, but the demon wasn't touching them. It was so weird. So I just started thinking happy thoughts. He started to kinda shrivel, and slide away from me, down the bed, in a sort of catatonic state. But I still couldn't move very well. So I started trying to move my arms, which I could a little, then ZOOoooommm, the creep was right back on top of me, screaming and looking all freaky. His head would shake back and forth really fast, like that Tool video (Sober). Before I thought to think happy thoughts again, I noticed that everytime he shook and convulsed like that, I could feel vibrations in my hands. So I just decided to close my dream eyes, and sure enough, my usual WILD vibrations swept over me. I opened my dream eyes again, an was alone in my room. I tried to slowly get out of bed, but I was really entangled in blankets this time. They were too heavy to get off me, then I woke up. Fortunately, the vibrations came right back, and I ended up in my room again. I got up, an went to the bedroom door, blankets all wrapped around my legs. But as soon as I left the room, they were gone. WHEW.

I knew that a personal goal of mine for a while (which is also one of August's TOTMs), was to create a portal to hell, and share a cold beer with the devil. I wondered that if, after all that DEILD Demon nonsense, if I would be too chicken to do it (since in the past, there was a TOTM where you had to go to purgatory and rescue a soul. But my portals kept going past purgatory and straight into hell, and I was too scared to go lol. That made me mad so I became determined to conquer this). Anyway, I didn't feel that scared. But as soon as I got to the living room, I noticed that the front door was open, and Danny was standing on the porch, looking as if he was waiting for the rain to stop before getting into his car to go to work. I questioned if I was dreaming or not afterall! I went outside and notice that it wasn't raining, just the sprinklers were on. I looked at him and we exchanged a few words, can't remember what. Then I noticed the skin on his nose was gone. Like a skeleton meets Michael Jackson kinda thing. Ah, ok lol. I went to give him a quick smooth before continuing with my task, but when I did, it was like kissing air. So creepy.

I went back into the house, and got on all fours on the floor. I had to hold my glasses in my hand, which kept falling of my face. I pressed my face into the floor, and it phased through. A huge, craggy tunnel formed, and went straight down for what looked like miles. It was illuminated with a fiery orange glow, and I could hear sounds from way deep, like, chains and heavy things hitting against rock. Just like the last 2 times. In waking life, I had already promised myself that the next time I found this tunnel to hell, I wouldn't be scared. I told myself, "It's ok Ophelia, nothing to be scared of. It's just a dream. And when you find the devil, he's going to be really nice and you're just going to share a beer together." I really felt ok with this. I began to descend, in a sort of rock-climbing fashion. But the dream environment didn't seem to match what I thought it should look like when you are climbing downward. Hard to explain, but it seemed like I wasn't really going anywhere. So I decided to just float down slowly. This worked, and I was slowly falling, not too fast, which would have woken me up. I probably SHOULD have looked down though, because I didn't really have a focal point. I should have looked down and visualized the bottom, because what ended up happening was, I just fell a while, and then woke up naturally.

If I had succeeded in this task, I wouldn't have counted it for myself, since I had a heads up on the task. Who knew that I would break a dry spell on the FIRST of the month lol.

So I finally got the coal TOTM! Then I attempted the drawing one, but it didn't quite work. Anyway, HORRIBLE night sleep, ended up having to call in sick today. As such, when I was finally able to sleep when the house was empty and the dogs were quiet at last, it was about 8am.

I had a really super fast WILD. I wasn't trying for it, I just wanted sleep. But one quick round of really faint vibrations and I felt myself in my bed in a dream, all tangled up in blankets. I slowly tried to disentangle myself but woke up before I could finish. I went back to sleep and had a FA where I had gotten up and went down the hall, but it was the hall of some other building. And I remembered in that instant that I had JUST woken up from a short LD, so yay I was getting a second chance! I thought of the coal task right away, and continued down the hall. Fortunately it opened up into my livingroom. I knew that all I had to do was go into the backyard by the grill, and grab a piece of Kingsford coal from the bag. Only one obstacle: the sliding glass door. If I open doors or even phase through them in LDs, most time I get a scene change. SO I just quickly opened it, and sure enough, I ended up in a random room that doesn't exist. I saw a second door that went outside, so I imagined that my grill would be on the other side, and it worked! Only it looked more like a piano. I didn't see a bag of coal, so I opened the piano grill hoping to find a semi-used piece of coal inside. Nope, just piano keys. I imagined that o nthe other side of the grill would be a bag of kingsford coal, and sure enough, there was a bag of coal (the 365 brand from work, fine by me!). I grabbed the first piece which was stuck to another piece, so I separated them and kept the smaller of the 2. I held the coal in my left hand and covered it with my right, and stepped into the sunlight. I wanted to see my diamond sparkle in case it worked! I saw the sun illuminate my hands, and I thought to myself "how realistic this lucid light looks." I pressed my hands together as hard as I could, and I felt the coal disintegrate immediately. It almost felt like watery mud. I pressed very hard and imagined heat helping me out. I finally felt something hard like glass amidst all the mud, so I opened my hands and blammo! There was somewhat smoky colored diamond, cut into a big fat emerald cut. I took it in my right hand and held it up to the sunny sky to see it sparkle. When I did that, a giant image of the same diamond appeared in the sky, and even took on the smokiness. Once that happened, the diamond in my hand was no longer smokey. And it was suddenly princess cut. A big, sparkly, maybe 4 or 5 carrot diamond. Man I felt proud. I just held my diamond in the sunlight, looking at its giant smokey twin in the sky, thinking "yeah, that's enough for now," and woke up.

I went back to sleep and this time I was walking down the hall at work. What's with halls all the time? Oh well, give me time to walk and think and realize I'm dreaming lol. Anyway, again it hit me that I was just in bed, and I knew I had called in sick to work, so I shouldn't even be there. I bumped into my boss who said, "Well, since you're here you can go ahead and work your shift if you're feeling better." I just said, "Nah I've got other stuff to do," and I left. Now Chris was suddenly with me. I thought about the drawing task, and then I noticed something new: we were walking home, like we used to when we all lived in the apartment in Dallas. We were approaching the train station. Chris started taking off really fast, and it was starting to get dark. I panicked a little and called after him, telling him to wait up and not to run off, but he wouldn't stop. Then I just said, know what? fuck it, I'm doing the TOTM (HAH! +1). I attempted to draw with my finger on the side of the train station, when I remembered that my dream body had just come from work, and I always carry a pen and a sharpie in my pocket at work. I reached in my back pocket and found the pen! I was about to draw on the building, when I noticed to my right that there was a blank post-it note on the wall. Seriously? Is it my birthday? So I thought fast and drew a comet, with motion lines behind it, crashing onto earth. Then I looked up at the sky. It was dark now, and I could only see stars and a few wispy clouds. Then I saw a tiny illumination behind one of the clouds, and it got brighter and larger. Then something the size of a ping pong ball popped out from behind the cloud, and landed on the street in front of me, then bounced away. This happened a few more times, and each time the light behind the clouds was even more intense, suggesting that THIS time it would be a comet. Yeah right. When I finally got tired of watching ping pong balls, I just caught up with Chris and walked to the apartment. Danny had just come home from the grocery store, and was unloading groceries in the kitchen. He asked me to help him, and I started to. Then I said, "Nah, I may try the drawing task again," and left. I looked up at the sky, and there was a giant red Snoopy constellation in the night sky. I willed it to turn into a comet and crash into earth, but then I woke up.

Well poopananny then. But yay, a diamond!

Ok I don't know WHAT happened this morning. Usual WBTB. Then I'm fairly convinced that I dreamed that I was having WILD vibrations, then dreamed I was entering a lucid dream where I found myself completely blind. As I was blind, I felt like I was floating around. So I tried some commands, "You can see, and you will appear in front of your work." I started to see what could have been the front doors to where I work, when I felt the urge to "jump" into the setting. As I did, I bolted upright in my bed. I looked around, making sure I didn't wake up my bf. He was still asleep. I looked at the time on my phone, don't remember what it said, but I noticed the battery was almost down. I laid back down and went to sleep.

When I woke up for good later that day, I recalled this dream, and how when I bolted up in bed, it was light out, and Danny had left for work at 5:30am in real life. When it was still dark out. I looked at my phone and the battery was almost full. In retrospect, it didn't even look like my room when I bolted upright.

I don't know what to call this thing, I really don't. A fake WILD and a false awakening. I feel like such a fake.

Nonlucid: I was having Josh issues again. I remember walking up to him and giving in to something we were discussing. I was about to resign to making out, when I suddenly woke up on the floor! Danny had just come to my rescue, and scooped me up and we started making out. I remember thinking that I hope Danny doesn't find out about Josh O_O. Then I remembered I needed to get something in the kitchen, but it was the kitchen at my parents' house. Then I woke up for real. (NOTE: Josh was from about 8 years ago, and I'm 100% faithful to Danny. That's dream logic for ya.)

I blame Xanous for this FA because we were just discussing them yesterday. Everytime I talk to him about something, it seems to happen in my very next dream. DAMN YOU, PSYCHIC TWIN!!

j/k <3

This was a nonlucid. I was dreaming that I was watching a Lifetime movie about a gay guy on the football team that was getting bullied by the other football players. The one scene I remember involved a guy that looked like my friend Josh, and he was really antagonizing the gay player. But he was being SO mean and SO ruthless, that the other players began standing up for the little gay dude. They ended up all turning on "Josh." I think someone shot Josh because the movie ended with all the players standing around a body, who was spurting blood out of an artery wound in his neck with each heartbeat. Finally his eyes closed and the camera started to zoom out. Then Josh rolled over, as if to get into a more comfy position while dying, and I thought "This actor is baaaad. Die already goddamnit." Then, just when I expected the rolling credits, the guy gets up and starts walking around. At this point I deduce that it's the character's "spirit" getting up and getting ready to go to heaven/afterlife/whatever.

I become quasi-lucid here, because I fly into the TV set. I decided I want to play an angel that escorts him to heaven. At this point is really IS Josh, and I fly down to him. He's on a beautiful bright beach, looks like Florida. I go up to him and say, "Welcome to heaven, Josh." He does a "teeheeeeeee" and turns into a little kid and runs off. I fly after him, then ahead of him and stop. Now it's my son, and we take eachother's hand and walk along the beach. The sand is covered with precious gems, it's really pretty. I bend over and pick up a really pretty white crystal, which has a rainbow like opalescence running through it. I hand it to Chris and tell him "This is a mooooonstone." I said it with an English accent for some reason lol. Then I woke up.

I had a short FA later too, when Danny got up to get ready for work. As soon as he finished brushing his teeth, he opened the bathroom door and light spilled into the room. I covered my face with the blanket. Then I woke up, it was dark, Danny finished brushing his teeth, opened the door, light filled the room, I covered my face. I was really awake this time

note: I say "quasi lucid" because I never really said "Whoopie!! I'm dreaming!!!" I just had control and knew it, but just kinda went with the already established setting and story.

I need to go back to those cutesie DJ titles. Anyway, same WBTB at 6:45am. I think it was closer to 8:30am when I finally got back to sleep though...

I remember waking up and lying on my back. I opened my eyes and there was something weird on the ceiling. By the time I focused on it, I woke up for real. So I went back to sleep, and same thing happened: I opened my eyes and the ceiling had an odd fixture on it. Not gonna fool me this time! So I slowly got out of bed, remarking that this was the quickest WILD transition I ever had.. no vibrations or nuthin! As I was leaving the bedroom, blanket were stuck on me. Even as I started down the hall, the corner of the blanket was still stuck to my foot. I gave one last kick and freed myself. I knew that irl, Danny had just come home from a doctor's appointment, so I wondered if I would see his DC in the livingroom, but I didn't. I was thinking of the snow TOTM, so I went for the front door. Irl I wondered that if I attempted this task, would my subC remember that it's cold outside. It didn't. It was like a muggy spring day, but cloudy. I always suck at weather changing, but I just put my hands up in the air in front of me. I began wiggling them, and sure enough, little sparkly white snow began to fall. And they were ice cold! I couldn't believe it worked! They would hit my skin, then melt. I noticed they weren't quite making it to the ground, so I amplified my hand gestures, bringing my hands up and down at the same time. The snow got heavier, and began collecting on the ground in spots. I started danging and hoping around, still waving my hands. I could hear it crunch beneath my feet. I was laughing and (so gay I know), little tears formed in my eyes because I was so happy it worked. The flurries of snow seems to follow exactly what I did. If I stopped, they stopped, if I danced more, they came back. I felt like a wizard, it was so magical. I wanted to make REALLY thick snow now, so I exaggerated my arms even more. The sky got so dark, an aubergine color almost. The air got colder, and the snow blew in all different directions.

I stopped dancing and noticed I was standing in front of someone's pool. I wondered if I could freeze the water and walk on it haha. So I pointed my finger at it, and it partially froze on the edges, then melted. I tried harder, same thing. I got down on my knees and blew on it, a la Superman, still didn't freeze solid enough. It was creepy dark water, reflecting the creepy dark sky, so no way in hell I'm walking on scary ass dream water. I looked up at the sky and thought about going up and attempting the aurora task. But it was just too damn dark and scary. Everything felt so real, and I didn't really want to see what my subC had in store for me up in there!

I tried to remember the other advanced task: Ghosts! So I ran back inside the house, willing the ghost of xmas past to appear. I saw an old man sitting in a recliner in the middle of the livingroom. He looked just like Buddy Hacket (who, ironically, played Scrooge in the movie Scrooged). I walked up to him, and asked him if he was the ghost of xmas past? He said yes. I shook his hand, then woke up.

I tried to go back to sleep, thinking about that whole dream and willing myself to remember every detail. I gradually ended up in a dream nonlucid, where now instead of thinking about the lucid I had just had, I was telling my manager Nicole in my backyard about making it snow. I suddenly remembered that i was JUST thinking about my dream in bed. Lucid! I love it when that happens. SO I said to her, wanna see me make it snow? So I did it again haha! Then I remembered the ghost again, so I ran in the house again, there he was again, and I woke up again.

Lol, so... bad bad night's sleep. It got so hot and humid and I woke up at 4:30 sweating my tuchis off. I didn't finally get back to sleep until everyone was gone and then some, maybe 8am. The dogs barked a couple times because it was windy, so it kept waking me up. One time, they barked and I thought "Oh shit, someone's trying to break in." I thought that because we really did get 3 bikes stolen recently. I was really really drowsy when they barked that last time, and I started to drift off.

Then they barked again, and I thought it sounded like they wre barking at the front door, like they do when Danny comes home. He left for work at 6am, so I thought maybe they sent him home for some reason. I heard the bedroom door open, and Danny said something. I tried to speak to him, I think I tried to ask him "Oh did they send you home?" But my voice was paralyzed. I managed to wake up, look up, and saw no one. Then I fell right back to sleep, and I could hear Danny say something again. He even lifted the covers on his side of the bed, and I thought he got in. Then I woke up again and he wasn't there. I gotta be HELLA-tired to get FA's like that haha!

Later on I woke up, still super tired, and I rolled over on my tummy which is more comfortable for falling back to sleep. I felt some vibrations, but instead of the nice, calm vibrations I had recently gotten used to, I felt the demon again. So I knew a lucid dream had started, or physical HH, take your pick. He climbed on my back, clasped my hands in his, and held me down, just like in the good ol' days. It was the grouchy one again, because when I tried to move, he growled like a dog. I tried to free my hands, mroe pressure and more growling. Mind you all, I know this isn't real, so I'm nto scared, just annoyed. At this point I could usually wriggle free and start an LD, maybe after sexing or slapping the guy, or both. But he was really strong. So I stretched my arms out, and did like an airplane move, more growling. I tried to reason with him, like oreo told me that last time (which worked the last time!), but my voice was paralyzed again. I even lifted my right hand to my mouth, and nibbled on his fingers haha. I admit I was having fun, but I wanted to LD! I was finally able to do the roll-out-of-bed technique, and it worked. Kinda. I rolled off the bed, and was falling a while without ever hitting a floor, Dumbass growling the whole way, and I either went nonlucid or just back into hard sleep, can't remember.

We love you when you're maaaaaaaaaad!

I had a nonlucid where Lance from work had a posh little shop in a richie mall. It was called "The Clinique Boutique". You needed an appointment to get in, but I managed to get a walk-in at the last minute. The store didn't look like a make-up store, rather a really pink, fluffy gay bedroom. But nice gay, like, expensive pink comforter from probably Neiman Marcus. So the way you bought make-up was to have this little consultation, sitting on the pink fluffy bed all school-girly like. He soaked me for $12 on a tiny jar of concealer.

And I swear to god I woke up to Danny humping the bed, then waking himself up and making a "Ahhhhhhh" sound. But he doesn't remember it. Maybe HH? Wouldn't be that weird if I just HHed it, kinda like a FA, but it really really seemed real. Lol. I've been laughing all day every time I think about it!

These happened really late in the morning, like reaaaally late. I woke up several times, and the last time, the clock said 10:43am. I thought, ehh, I'll get up in a bit, no sense in trying to LD now because I never do this late. Then I conked out again anyway.

I remember dreaming about my dogs chasing and torturing frogs in the back yard like they do irl. Gucci brought one inside and was trying to half play and half chew on the poor thing (irl, I occasionally happen upon a little frog jerky on the living room floor). So I shoo the dog away so I can get the little corpse and throw it outside. When I pick it up, he's still alive! He appears unwounded, just in shock and perhaps playing dead. I hold him very gently, and go to put him in the koi pond in our back yard. He does a couple little frog licks on my hand, which felt like grateful kisses. I set him in the koi pond, which has suddenly turned into an ocean shore line (YAY oceanfront property, finally). I watch as he floats for a moment, then does the breast stroke and swims off. I suddenly become lucid, because HEY, I don't have an ocean in the back yard! So I start skipping along the shore, and take to flight. It was already night when the dream started, with the only light coming from our backyard floodlights. But now that I'm lucid, it goes completely dark. I REALLY need to learn how to summon light. I tried all kind of things. I even closed my eyes and spun, trying to change the scene. Usually that would wake me up, but it didn't this time, which is good. But it was still dark. I just kinda stood there, in a black oblivion for a few moments, and woke up due to frustration.

But I didn't wake up, it was a false awakening! I thought I woke up, and Danny was getting up to get ready for work, and I could hear the kids getting ready for school. But then I remembered I already went through this like 4 hours ago, I should be alone right now! So I just got up out of bed and went down the hall, ignoring the pretend family members. The hall opened into an entirely new scene. It looked like a romper room: lots of kids and a few gym teachers, multicolored foam blocks, toys and books. I suddenly remembered that I wanted to try the basic TOTM, to shrink down. I looked at one of the teachers, and asked her if she knew how to cast spells, because I want to shrink down to the size of a bug. She said "I sure do!" Then she pointed me to 4 different children, each holding a magic wand. She told me to choose which one I wanted to cast the spell on me. So I chose the boy in blue. Everyone stood around me in a circle, and the boy pointed the wand at me and said an incantation. I felt like there was an invisible power, forcing me downward. At first I thought I was shrinking, because I went from being at eye level with everyone, then knee level, then finally ankle level. But they looked the same size, so I couldn't have shrunk. I looked at everyone, then myself, and I realized all that happened was I was just sitting on the floor. Lame job there subconscious. I thought I might just grab a teacher and have some consolation sex, but my dream body that was on the floor phased into my waking body in my bed. Oh well, at least I remembered and attempted it one last time before the end of the month.

I believe I had my first true DEILD this morning. I'll try to remember the details (it happened sometime between 7:30am - 9am), and I slept way in after that, so I don't remember a ton of details. But I know I had vibrations 3 times, and each time I went straight into a dream where I was in my bed and had to think for a bit to make sure I wasn't really awake (my room is starting to look too correct lol). There was literally seconds between each dream, where I didn't move, just felt the vibrations and immediately went into the dream. I also did the advanced TOTM! It was just a little blurry and pretty short because of how unnerving it was. At any rate, I woke up at 5am, went back to sleep, then 6am, sleep, 6:45am, sleep, 7:15am, sleep (lol, school mornings are rough). When I went to bed at 7:30am, I was so tired by this point that I felt the vibrations come on only after a few minutes of just laying there. I waited until I could start to see a picture, and I opened my eyes. It was my room, and again with the strange orangeish light that's almost my only giveaway that I'm dreaming. Still, I get up very slowly just in case. I look at my hands, and the tip of my right ring finger is missing which confirmed lucidity. I give everybody a good wiggle and leave the bedroom. Not thinking of the TOTM right away I decide to go outside and have a look around. I feel like flying (I don't usually, but now I'm starting too more. I think that's good because I bet I'll get to see and do more stuff this way hehe). I shoot straight up and as soon as I can see over the houses, I notice a huge river that doesn't exist irl. Then I think of the advanced TOTM and I bet I can manipulate this river into a cretaceous ocean once I'm underwater. Ever since I chickened out in my last attempt, I formed a plan: find water again, have a cage or some kind of underwater enclosure that lets me see but not get hurt, and one of those electrocutey things. It's a tall order I admit, but I'm really determined! Anyway, I flew up to the river bank, and I noticed a partially sunken inflatable blue canoe, big enough for one. I landed next to it, pulled it out and it immediately popped into shape. I sat down inside it, and it shoved itself on down the river. I willed it to form a glass shell over the top, which it did (but it didn't close properly, which I will discover later). I forgot about the weapon, oops. To my right in my new "sub" is a little control panel with a few unmarked buttons. I pretend I'm punching a combination for "The Cretaceous Period" and I say it aloud as I'm pushing the buttons. The submarine sinks to the ocean floor, and it's brown and murky and a bit hard to see (a little visual snowish). But I squint and pay close attention and move forward across the prehistoric ocean floor, looking for life. Sure enough, I see something that looks like an alligator at first, but as it got closer I noticed it was a mosasaur*. It was weaving left and right along the ocean floor, then it saw me. It paused for a moment and looked at me and I froze. It looked angry, like it wanted to get to me but didn't bother trying because I was protected. Then it swam off. A whole school of mosasaur came next, weaving back an forth like the first, all in unison. They all swam past my little nautilus, and each and every one looked at me all pissed in the same way as the first, then continued on. I was so scared, I thought I would wake up. Then they were gone, and I decided that was good enough for the task and I willed the sub to resurface. As it was moving up, it started filling with water. I just hoped it would make it up before I drowned. It didn't. But I was able to breath, I just wasn't breathing water. It felt like there was always a mask of air in front of my face, and water never came inside (which is actually normal for even my nonlucid underwater dreams, there's always a bit of air there). I could see the glimmer of the water's surface just above me when I woke up.

I felt vibrations right away, and knowingly phased into an LD in my room the same way. I got up and thought of the basic task (greedy). Already I wasn't sure how this was going to work, so I just left the bedroom and went to the living room. I stood in front of the piano and said "shrink" but nothing happened. I said it again, but this time I squatted down on the floor at the same time, hoping my subC would fill in the blanks lol. Nothing. So then I remembered someone on DV saying to just make everything around you grow instead. So I willed the furniture to grow, and all that happened was they stayed the same size, but the legs got really long lol. Then I woke up. That one is going to be way hard for me. I'm going to need a plan again, like maybe using a mirror portal or going up a beanstalk haha.

Same transition again (I'm already thinking how cool it's going to be to blog the fact that I did a true DEILD, as well as noticing that the 2nd was shorted than the first. So this one may end up being even shorter, oh well). Again, I "awoke" in my bed immediately lucid, got up, left the room and headed for the living room. I saw Danny (irl he's at work). I was glad I saw the DC version of him, because we had a bad fight last night irl, but this DC doesn't know that hehe. I hugged him and he bit my hand, demon style. I slapped him on the side of his head, and he returned to normal. I said "Let's go outside." We went to the front yard. It was cool, and cloudy. I said, "I can fly, want to come with me?" He said sure. I got behind him, and put my arms around his chest and locked my fingers. With effort, I jumped straight up, and we started to sink immediately. He was so heavy! I forced us to go higher, which worked, but it was hard to steer with Danny in my arms. We were heading straight for some trees, but I forced us to the right as hard as I could. I said "It's really hard to steer while holding you." But I managed to get us up higher, and over the houses. I said "Want to see something cool? Just over those houses is a really big river!" So I flew us to the river so he could see it. We just hovered over the rooftops, watching the water move for a few moments, then I woke up.

Gucci was barking irl so I got up and let him in. I went back to sleep and had a few FAs, all related to confronting Danny about our fight last night. That's all there was.


*edit: not pliosaurs, they were mosasaurs. I googled different ones and it was the mosasaur that were more alligator-looking.

I managed to go to bed at 11:45pm, but I don't think I fell asleep until a little after midnight. Then I woke up around 3am, and had trouble getting to sleep (weird heart palpitations, not a racing heart, but it felt like it was doing somersaults in my chest.. not painful, but disturbing and annoying).

What followed next was a series of nonlucids and more importantly, false awakenings. I needed to wake up irl for work by 5am, so I kept dreaming that the alarm had woken us up, or that we slept in, that I suddenly owned a clock radio that kept coming on and Dean Martin was singing Christmas Carols. Finally I had a FA where I had gotten up before Danny (ALWAYS the other way around, and I questioned this), let out the dogs and started getting my food ready for my long work shift. I reached up for something behind the stove, and accidentally knocked a blue pot off it's hook. It fell partway behind the stove, so I'm struggling to get it and hang it back up... when I think to myself "I don't own this blue pot, where the hell did this thing come from?" I kinda stood there for a few seconds, holding the pot, a little confused, then boom! "Abandon this project, I'm dreaming! " I stood in the kitchen, kinda bouncing with excitement, trying to remember the basic TOTM. It hit me right away, "Perform Surgery!!" One issue with this task is if you want to go full on and transport to a hospital, it may take a bit of time and control, and I wasn't sure what time it was irl. The alarm could go off at any moment, so I wanted to waste no time whatsoever. So I went to the living room couch and tried to summon a patient. Nothing. I went to my son's room, hoping to find a patient sleeping in there. I found Chris asleep in there, but no way was I going to perform surgery on him. At no time did I loose lucidity, I even remembered that he was at my mom's irl, but no way am I gonna cut up my son in a dream. And you can cross Danny off that list as well. I went back to the kitchen, trying to figure out what I was going to do, when I glanced at the window and saw the reflection of a man behind me!! I whipped around and it was a tall, slender Hispanic man with a very pallid expression on his face. I asked him right away "Are you here for some surgery?" He said "Yeah." I said, "Well you're in luck, because I'm a wiz with knives," and I proceeded to the kitchen and grabbed my chef knife, fillet knife, and paring knife. I told him to lie on the couch and explain to me what was wrong. He said that a previous doctor had fixed a "kink" in his intestines with a bandaid, and put a little microchip in there as well. I guess to monitor the kink or something. He said the microchip was causing him extraordinary pain and wanted it removed. He laid down on the couch for a moment, then got up and said he was going to his car real quick because he brought his own anesthetic. I told him that's fine, I have some too just in case (I knew I didn't have any, so I was going to just put water in a little flask and will it to work as anesthesia). He came back and said he didn't bring it, so I went to the kitchen and got the water. I held it up and said "I will this water to act as an anesthetic." It didn't look any different, but I didn't care. I wasn't the one who was going to drink it! I gave it to the man and he took a swallow, but choked on it a little bit. Then he took his shirt off and laid back down. It looked like he was drifting off a bit, but he was kinda restless. So I starting rubbing his chest gently, speaking softly, "Sleep, sleeeeeeeeep..." Of course this action produced an erection and I took advantage of it a little bit. I'll skip those details. (I was hoping it would help him pass out!!) It didn't work, he was still conscious. He even asked me if after the surgery, maybe we go out to dinner sometime lol. I said suuuure, why not. He wasn't going completely out, and I was running out of time. So I said I need to start cutting anyway, but he'd be just fine. I held him down with one hand, took the little pairing knife with the other, cringed, and made an incision in his belly. He groaned in pain and tried to sit up, but I pushed him back down. There was no blood. But I could immediately see the loop of intestine with the bandaid. Turned out it was kinda good that he was still conscious, because he was able to talk me through it a bit, and didn't seem to be in pain anymore. (I guess my subC is too squeamish.) I pulled out the little loop of intestine, and noticed the little microchip, which looked more like a tiny stone, sandwiched between 2 of the baindaids. He said just to remove the chip and leave the bandaid, so I did. I was just about to push the intestine back in and sew him back up, when Danny coughed irl and woke me up. Still success! I can't believe I could cut the guy, especially while he was conscious! Surgery went well overall I'd say though.

Non-lucid Chain: W-vacuum-noodlephoto-funeralnotice-Claudia-$5buttdress-Rammsteinspikedhair.

Non lucid part:

Came back to add the non lucid stuff based on that ^^. It's my new form of remembering dreams when I'm still in bed, waking up now and then, so I don't have to actually get up and write in a jjournal, whereby waking myself up too much. I call it "Linking Dream Topics."

Ok the first and worst, the vacuum. I dreamed that I was at work, and I went to the meat department. I was looking for the ATL from seafood, oddly enough. And he was there. So I found him and followed him to the back of the meat department. Looked much different than in real life. It was huge and dark and deep and cavernous. As I followed behind him, I saw all kinds of strange devices, including a vacuum type apparatus that was used to suck out the eyeballs out of the lambs before processing the rest of the carcass. I remember seeing some eyeballs still in the clear tubes attached to the vacuum. They still had eyelids and some were still trying to blink somewhat.

Later, I had a dream that really seemed to be in Red River again. I remember walking to the end of one of those mountainous, dusty roads, and there was a huge trailer. It was a film developing studio. For some reason, I thought it was extremely cool that it was what it was, and went inside. It was full of asians, and one offered me a bowl of noodles while he developed my film (that I didn't know I had). Best. Noodles. Ever. I remember them being egg noodles, the lo mein kind that I saw them make on Sesame Street once. I remember tasting toasted sesame oil, and there was thai basil and other vegetables. The whole dish was reminiscent of thai curry. I was just going at it with chop sticks until the dream changed again.

Margaret from Highland Park finally kicked it, and I was supposed to write the eulogy. I kept procrastinating it until I saw other TLs at the graveyard, all complete with eulogy papers on their tombstones. So I stressed over writing one.

Then some stress about getting a dress. I could only use $5, but the dresses were $100 or more. Then Claudia was wearing one and her normally fat squarish butt suddenly looked really round and bulbous. And I thought on the fact that I never noticed the bouncy bulbousness, which was REALLY apparent under the thin fabric of the dress. Hoppity hop hop hop..

Dream changes to the Rammstein concert I went to in 2001, just 1 month after 9-11. I was amazed they let me fly from my El Paso gig to Dallas for the concert. In real life I met them, and in the dream I did too. Only this time, Til didn't cover his 'do. Me or someone said "Oh your spiky hair looks like a porcupine." And he had a gruff remark.

So I set my alarm to go off at 11:15am, because I had #DVA at 11:30. When it went off, I resigned myself to not having any lucids, and just hit snooze to sleep stress-free for 5 minutes. Then I had an FA and got up to go to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror at my teeth. There was an unusual gap in between them, like the tooth had gotten chipped a little. I have a tiny filling there in real life, so I thought maybe the filling got knocked out or something. I thought, damn.. I really need to make a dentist appointment and get this fixed. I touched the gap and little flakes of tooth(?) wiped away. I got worried, like maybe I was losing a chunk of tooth or something. But when I wiped it away completely, the gap was gone and my teeth were normal again. I was relieved, and stepped back from the mirror a bit to look at my whole reflection. My lips looked really weird now.. like just, not mine. Not the same size or shape or anything. So I said, waaaiiiit a minute, this is a false awakening! I looked at my eyes really close, and sure enough, the irises were milky green, and no pupils. So I left the bathroom went to the bedroom door, where Daisy and Bella were sitting there, looking up at me. They are NEVER in my room. I just said "Hey doggies" and they wagged their tails. So I left the room and started down the hall. I knew at this point that I only had a few minutes, because I knew I had hit the snooze button in real life, and it was only for 5 minutes. And I had no idea how long I was in the bathroom. As I went down the hall, it got darker, and one eye went blind. I lifted my hands and the other eye went dimmer. I just kept walking down the hall, waving my hands and clapping, but everything looked like a big brown out. I wasn't waking up, so I just kept going. FINALLY, I ended up in a livingroom that wasn't my house. But Chris was there, playing and watching TV. Everything was much brighter and stable. I knew I didn't have much time, and I was feeling randy as usual, so I started to leave to look for an adult. I felt for my stuff as usual, and at one point it turned into a foot temporarily, but I fixed it lol. Then I woke up from the alarm before attempting anything.

I should have just utilized those 5 minutes to attempt the TOTM, since I was right there at the damn mirror anyway. But I forgot about it. Balls.

Another odd DEILDy-DILD. I say DEILD quite loosely alot, because they usually happen when I have a DILD straight out of a FA, followed by a chain of mini lucids. Only lately, I haven't had the chaining so much, so really it's just a DILD. But I like to think positive, and assume that it *would have been* a DEILD, that just got cut short after the initial lucid.

Great, now that I got all that cleared up I had another odd DEILDy-DILD early this morning. Danny went off to work at 5am, and I went back to sleep. I had an FA where I thought I woke up briefly when Danny used the bathroom and came back to bed. He seemed irritated by something, and came back to bed and rolled over to back to sleep in a huff. Then I realized we were on the wrong side of the bed, usually I sleep on the right, now I was on the left. I thought to myself, hrmmm... I could be dreaming. And didn't he just leave for work? I reached down and felt around, and sure enough, I had boy parts. I decided I wanted to fiddle with myself a bit, but I was worried about DC Danny waking up and being irritated. So I moved really slowly. There's also that eternal fear that any movement I make in my dream bed could be mirrored in real life. In retrospect I think it's ridiculous, but during the LD, the fear of moving for real and losing lucidity is sometimes too powerful. I need to break this habit. So I grabbed myself, and I felt an odd bulbous thing on the side of my thing. It felt like a small orange. I thought, I'll just smooth that right out, and I did. Then DC Danny moved a bit, like he knew what I was trying to do. So I tried to be quieter and more discreet. Again, it felt like it was someone else's thing attached to me, no real nerve endings or proprioceptors like in that last one. I just kept going anyway, until I either lost lucidity or woke up or both.