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Lately, it just hasnt been working out. Im not writing consistently in my DJ, its been a really long while since my last LD and number 13 just isnt coming. I gave up on DILD for a while to focus on a different version of DEILD called CAN-WILD. Its basically the same but with an alarm so ur guaranteed to wake up once. Ive only got 1 DEILD so far, and I truly believe another SP/Transition experience will give me the motivation I need to keep on pushing. Until then, I wait....Sigh. Its so annoying because I have no problem watsoever to wake up and not move. I do it alot. Then I stand there like a douche and nothing happens. What am I doing wrong? In the tutorial it says:
1- You move too much 2-You are too pumped up/excited and 3- Not in REM.
I dont move, so thats out of the question. Am I excited? Not neceseraly. Not at all, actually (considering I always fail, its not that exciting). Then is it timing? Am I simply not in REM? Maybe, but the guy in the tutorial says he can turn into SP at any time and thus become lucid at will. Obviously, hes doing something very important he decided to keep for himself. That asshole. I suck at doing absolutely nothing. Its in my head, and my head's just not cooperating. It never cooperates, really. Il try to be even less excited tonight, since its the only aspect I seem to have control on. Some people say you have to visualize touching something, others say you need to be half asleep, or perfectly awake, count in your head, breathe heavily, imagine your past dreams. I say fuck you. Crisse. J'en ai mon truck des techniques de marde. Si j'veux réussir, j'va lfaire comme j'veu. Il also reajust my alarm to see if it has any effect., and I have 2 now. Wish me luck

Im getting anoyed. Its really been a while!

Playing Troud cul with my friends outside on the toit vert. While walking I spot Zeng and ask if he wants to play.

Still not much :S

Oh come on! Its been a while now! I want to be lucid again! No recall btw.

Dream 1: The main dream revolves around water slides.

Dream 2: Second time I have this dream of having really long hair.

Still little recall

This is officially my 50th DJ entry Only 50 more to go to a 100!

Dream 1: No like (remember though)

Dream 2:Really long dream that seems like it took the entire night. My mom beat, raped and was violent to my dad in the past. Because of this, she can loose us (her kids). A serie of event follow. I desperatly try to keep it from happening. Someone gives to me a paper labeled: 231. I learn it is the address of the Bureau of Social Security. In the building, I chat with an old woman who explains the situation. Then I hop in a taxi and the taxi leaves in the middle of the street as I run after it. While talking with my parents, mom admits everything, but is also pissed off because my father denunciated her. These events are stretched over the whole night.

Dream 3: In Oliver's house, I play Rock Band on a DS.

Dream 4: I am very tired and groggy, it is early in the morning. I am headed to the Academy again, except this time I dont even get in it. The recurring dream is becoming less recurring Instead, I find an old japanese house. You know, with the sliding doors? Thats it.



On the front, it is written Fuma ya (something japanese) Academy. Inside I am welcomed by two elderly monks eating soup. They invite me in, but I promptly refuse since I need to go to the real Academy fast. However, I do sit down for a cup of tea and (apparently) an entire meal. Not sure what it was, but something memorable happened: I actually felt taste. In a dream. Cool!

These times, I always wake up in my room thinking damn, I have nothing. Then after a while I pile up 5 dreams.

Dream 1: Peter Griffin has sex with Quagmire. You can assume the place was Quag's room because it was very erotic with pictures

Dream 2: A mix of Pokemon and Johnny Test (?). In what appears to be the Goldenrod Radio Tower, I take a special elevator with the sisters from the show. Tons of baddies jump on us but we have a million dogs to help. The sisters say to me that they cloned the dog.

Dream 3: In a video store strikingly similar to one in a previous dream. Dark, empty.

Dream 4: This one I dont like, so no writing

Dream 5: In a water park with three different slides. One is for kids, one is medium and one is huge. They are all made out of a mountain. You must climb your way up from inside the slide to pop up at the top and slide down to a big pool. I try the first one, then I get hooked on the second one. The only obstacle I remember is a very tall vine you must climb on. Now I want to try the third slide but my mom disagrees. When my mom is gone, I go to enter. Tam is waiting at the entrance. Hes working there and tells me if I want to slide here, I need to take off my watch. I do so and give it to my dad.

TO MY DEFENSE I recently started telling myself that my home is my DS, and I havent been to my home since my last LD. Therefore, im not missing any Dreamsign, it just doesnt appear

Another day with no recall. That sucks :/

For the first time since I started this whole lucid journey, I wake up feeling not only that I cant recall, but that I didnt dream at all. Of course I know I did, but I really feel the only reason I cant remember anything is that there is simply nothing to remember

Ya know what? Screw that damn technique! If I need to have a DILD, I certainly dont need RCs to do it. DEILD is the way to go, and I know it. But I dont feel like writing, so il stop there.

Dream 1: I get an ostrich somewhere and ride it around while bragging to people about it. In what appears to be a maze made of grass, it jumps over pedestrians and the walls itself.

Dream 2: This one is weird. Im not sure how to explain it, so I wont.

Awww... Im just down. Maybe its time I take a break from all this lucid dreaming

Ok. I give up. Im not gonna fly until school begins. I realise I gave myself an unrealistic challenge. After all, it takes people months to have a first lucid dream, and I have had 7 to date in August. Thats good, very good even. I got 3 LDs in 3 nights, which is amazing. And its not like I did nothing. I did stuff. Maybe flying is just a lil harder for me, and I think its all mental. Besides, just because school is more stressful doesnt mean I cant dream. I can keep dreaming, and I will. It may have an impact, but I am going to make sure to minimize it. I am at peace with my defeat, because it shall only motivate me more for my future victories, which will come eventually.

Dream 1: In the Academy again, I can remember my Chef is depressed because he doesnt feel like hes connecting with his students. I agree in my head. Then the place catches on fire very fast and is consumed. I am stuck and run away until I find myself in the Agora.

Dream 2: I am at school and in my school I place my stuff in a huge bag before heading outside to take my schoolbus. The big woman that takes care of the buses tells me mine has passed already. She books me another, crappy one full of old ppl.

But its over! Finally! Now I can focus on dreaming again! Yay! PLUS tonight is my good night. Reyay! So yeah, no dream. But if my calculations are correct, im in for a great night. For sure. All this cooking has just brought me closer to my dreaded date: August 30. School. Hopefully starting tomorrow this journal can contain dreams instead of notes. I mean, its a dream journal. I just thought of something; why dont I predict every night what will happen? I write my prediction here, then try and guess my next dream. Cool, il do that starting now.

The prediction: An evil monkey will attack Blainville and Superman will own it by throwing sponges.
Countdown: 10 fateful nights
Goal: Fly. Plain and simple

This time it went good. Real good. Three dreams, actually two dreams but I lived the same one twice. I dont remember them clearly because, of course, i cant write. The first one had to do with cooking. I talked about hair with Alex. But thats not the good part. For the second time, I managed to NOT MOVE and keep my EYES CLOSED. Yay! The cat got me up. Awwww!
Thats right. The cat. How pathetic. This is still a good sign though. I mean, I can pull it off again.

The clear double dream: Im a pig. Yeah. Like the one in the Simpsons movie. I run. Away. From my mom. Or i dunno. It really isnt that clear at all, a whole stressful day later. But I do remember I remembered it this morning. Also, I knew the second time that it was the second time, and I decided to do it differently. I ran in my yard, and somehow turned back into myself.

Countdown: 11

Yep. Title says it all. So now what do I do? I have to write after the day like right now, and im lucky I still vaguely remember last nights. But thats today. Guess whats coming up? Another night, another day, and a new entry. I have another option which is to get up earlier and write before leaving. The problem: That means I have to get up earlier I guess I got no choice.

Dream: I saw a critic before going to bed that described Coldplay very harshly. So I dreamed about me defending my favorite band in a library. I also think : Hey, I should use this chance to look for Stephen Laberge's book! Then, and thats weird, I dream about a Dungeon pokemon game where the narrator says something like: All this confusion makes the rescue team confused. And then I do a reality check but wake up just before I do it. Sucks

Countdown: 13 nights