Ruesia's Dream Journal

These are fragments from dreams that I had well over a year ago.

Dream #1: My Grandmother had died not long before this dream. This is one of the dreams I had

We are in a mall like store. It is around Christmas time. There are bows and decorations everywhere. There are shoppers. I am alone. I then see my grandmother, but she is young. She is wearing a dark maroon velvet dress and beautiful earrings. Her hair is up in an updo and she is wearing heels. She looks so beautiful- she must be in her thirties. She doesn't talk, just smirks and I am chasing her. I don't know what to call her, because she is obviously too young to be a grandmother. She is running around the various display cases and I am chasing after her. Other shoppers start to run after us too. I follow her around until we reach a door in the rear of the store. She opens it and runs down a flight of stairs. I run after her, a younger man behind me. She stops at the bottom, where there is a door. She bars it with her body and I know I can't go in. I turn to look at the boy behind me, and he tells me "We can't follow her there". My grandmother opens the door and its very light on the other side. She disappears into the light.

Dream #2: Same time frame

I am at my grandparents ranch. It is foggy and the trees across the street at large and full grown. It is chilly, misty. I am looking for my grandfather. I see someone rocking in a swing out front. I am alarmed. I walk over to the figure, who is white. It is my grandmother, but she is rotting and dead. I want to scream in my dream, but I can't. I just stare at her, with her eyes and nose both vacant and her flesh loosely hanging on bones.

Dream #3: This may include fragments from many dreams, but they are all interconnected

I am at my grandparents' ranch. I am usually trying to get out a horse or I am visiting my grandfather. It is usually dusk, or getting dark. Each of these times, my grandmother appears. She appears as she was when I remember her being healthy and happy. Not when she was dying from the cancer. I remember I would ask her what she was doing here. I ask her how she can be here if she's dead. She just smiles at me and doesn't answer. I try to tell other people that she's back but they give me strange looks.

Dream #4: I had this dream well over 2 years ago

I am playing in my other grandparents' backyard in Modesto. It is the Oakbrook house. Its backyard lines up to the river bottom. The lawn swoops downward from the house. I remember I am running up and down the backyard. I feel something strange in my ear. I pull it- a blue chord appears. When I tuck it, I can feel it pulling out of my ear. Like its part of my ear drum. I immediately try to stuff it back in, but it is loose and spills out. I am alarmed. I remember it is sunny, warm, and there is a lemon tree in the backyard.

Dream #5: I had this dream well over 2 years ago

I remember sitting in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. When I open my mouth, I see my teeth are loose. I pull on them and my entire top row of teeth and gums comes loose. It is dark and decayed. It falls from the roof of my mouth in layers, like a layered biscuit. I am horrified and try to push it back up.

Dream #6: This dream was well over 2 years ago

I am at my grandparents' ranch. I can't remember what i'm doing, but I hear an explosion and I see the sky light up in bright oranges and dark plumes of smoke. The shockwave of the nuclear blast reaches me and I am consumed. I then wake up, and I am still alive. My vision is blurry, there is soot and dirt falling everywhere, and I feel my way around. I find it strange that I survived a nuclear explosion. Everything around me is on fire and dead or dying.