Smudgefish

FAILED REALITY CHECK

1) My wife is driving a car, we have to get across a wide gap.

2) I in the garden of my old house. I'm running around doing laps and timing myself. It's midnight so I decide it's time to go in and start picking up my things. I see my father looking down from his bedroom window. I unplug everything (there are mains sockets at the end of the lawn) and have difficulty holding everything. Then I'm in the house, for some reason I'm in the front bedroom and I'm trying to clean some marks off an old cupboard. Then I'm at the back and I'm cleaning a toilet using a high pressure hose. A man walks in behind me and he is angry that I woke him and his family up, so I explain that I didn't realise there was anyone else in the house. He seems quite happy with my explanation and we end up chatting like friends. The scene shifts and I'm outside a pub in Hampstead and I have just bought a pint of beer. The landlady comes over to me and says I have to have my pint inspected by a pub inspector, there's a sticker on the window telling me that this could happen so I accept it and walk inside. The inspector looks at my beer and puts it on the table whislt I sit and wait. He starts eating some cake but doesn't offer me any, then some of his colleagues behind him talk about getting some lunch and order sandwiches, the inspector asks me if I know where the ladies toilets are as his colleague needs to go. I notice that he has drunk most of my beer so I give up and walk outside feelign a bit disappointed. I think how late it is and I need to get home but home is miles away so I need to get to my old house in Hampstead to get some sleep, but then start worrying that there won't be any sheets for the bed. I walk up a hill and it's very grassy with a lovely path through the trees. Then I get into an old house and I find myself in a back room - it's slightly odd becasue it's dug straight into the soil with a door higher up and the door is locked. I THINK THIS IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF THING THAT WOULD HAPPEN IN A DREAM AND DECIDE TO LOOK AT MY HANDS, I SEE I HAVE 2 THUMBS BUT CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I COULD REALLY BE DREAMING AS IT ALL SEEMS TOO REAL, I DO A MEMORY CHECK BUT REMEMBER THAT I WAS IN A PUB A WHILE AGO, LOOK BACK AT MY HANDS AND I HAVE 2 OF ALL MY FINGERS. I THINK THAT I AM REALLY TIRED AND CONCLUDE THAT I MUST BE SEEING DOUBLE AND CARRY ON, I'M CONVINCED THAT IT CAN'T BE A DREAM AND IS REAL. As I walk outside through another door I look at a sign and my vision is back to normal so I'm happy. I walk into a shop looking for a comic, and now I'm carrying my dog with me, I have to push past a security guard dressed in red to get out of the shop.