memorable

So here's a snippet from a dream I thought was interesting that has left me feeling all happy-happy for the day.

I was in and out of lucidity, running down a street at night. Sometimes I'd vaguely realize I was dreaming and try to shout some command but a few moments later, I'd forget and just keep doing what I was doing. I also knew I was worrying about waking up so I think that was preventing me from becoming fully lucid and just doing whatever I wanted, because that worry was becoming an obsession.

Suddenly I came across a driveway full of cars. I assumed there was some party going on. I was lucid for a second again, but just enough for my brain to be like, "Hey Tara. What's up? I'm pumping a lot of blood to your vagoo, since you're in REM sleep and all, soo you're just gonna go look for sex now, okay?" and that's exactly what I did after losing lucidity again.

I walked through all of the parked cars, casually looking for someone to have sex with. I found one occupied car but the person inside was asleep or something. I don't quite remember, but either way, I kept looking. I came across another car with a young man inside browsing his phone. He kind of looked like the actor who played Thomas Kalmaku in the new Green Lantern film, with the glasses and everything. I quietly opened the door and said, "Hey." He said the same back and I bluntly and casually said, "Do you wanna have sex?" He seemed a bit confused and asked why and I said something like, "Because I want to, it's fun and it feels good." After fiddling around on his phone for a few more seconds, he nodded and said, "Sure." but seemed kind of tired and not into it. I asked if we could go in the backseat because he wasn't moving, so we did. The dream sort of abruptly transitioned to us being in the back seat.

We were laughing and eating orange creamsicles. Well, I was mostly acting like a goof and making him laugh. He commented on how silly I was. The excitement died down as we finished our creamsicles and sat in silence. The car light made everything orange and grainy, but provided enough light for me to see that he was smiling at me. He looked somewhat contemplative, like he was pondering the weirdness of the situation and who I was. I smiled back for a long while before glancing at his lips. My ears burned and face flushed, I could feel it. My heart was beating uncomfortably fast and hard. I had the overwhelming urge to kiss him and the overwhelming desire for him to kiss me. After staring at my feet and gathering my courage back up, I stared at him again, then looked at his lips while he sheepishly muttered, "I'm not going to have sex with you." I chuckled, smiled and nodded. I wasn't all that bothered. We were having a genuinely good time, as if we were best friends. I had kind of figured the sex wasn't going to happen as soon as the dream transitioned to us laughing in the back seat. But I still wanted to kiss him. I'm upset that I didn't. My vision faded as I began to have a false awakening, in which I went on Facebook and saw that the guy from the dream had added me and I was astounded that I dreamed of him before even knowing he existed. I was also quite excited to actually be friends with him. Then I woke up for real and was very disappointed but quite pleased with my brain for coming up with such a nice dream.

Skipped out on this for a few days. Whoops. Anyways, I went to bed between 1:30AM and 2AM, woke up around 10AM.

There were cockroaches in my house, but they were big Madagascar hissing ones. Mom caught one and showed it to me and I thought, "Well, if we have 'roaches now, I should keep some as pets." but the one I was holding was suddenly dead. I accused Mom of accidentally killing it but it started coming back to life, so I assumed it was playing dead. I noticed it had a beetle shell but no wings. They resembled the spotted shell of a Hercules beetle. I realized it was a female and maybe started thinking up names of her, I can't quite remember.

[transitionnn]

I was watching this business-type/reporter lady talk to a Japanese man who reminded me of Steve Aoki, except his hair was up in a Samurai-type pony tail thing. Anyways, the woman was asking him questions about I don't know what and the man replied, calling her madam at the end of his sentence. Then he asked, "What can I call you?" and she seemed confused. He said, "I was going to say he, but that wasn't right, and I don't want to say she. What can I call you?" My POV swooshed around them like a fancy camera, stopping at the other side at a low angle looking up. The man suddenly had no shirt and was wearing a piece of armor from a game I play. The two embraced each other all dreamy-like and shared a kiss. I laughed to myself and thought, "This is like all of those movies where the Samurai falls for the white woman." but I've never seen a movie like that.

Something about leather jackets.

My alarm went off and I woke up, pressed the snooze button and fell asleep again.

~ NSFW part ~

I was in a parking lot, approaching a p old school van. I opened the door and there was Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who I was apparently going out with. He was either naked or in his underwear. Anyways, the inside of the van had a burnt orange shag carpet and lights. The walls were yellow and when I got all of the way inside, it sort of turned into my room, except 9999x cooler. There were Christmas lights strung up everywhere, a bunch of shelves with cool stuff and of course, the amazing shag carpet. Joseph had turned it into a bed of some kind. He was getting ready to get spicy, putting on a raincoat and such, while I was avoiding the situation by organizing my CDs. I really wanted to, I was just nervous, and self-conscious. Finally I sat down beside him and decided I would close my eyes and just let him undress me and he could stop when ever he wanted. So off comes my shirt and I realized it was kind of nice having my eyes closed, because it was more surprising and exciting when he would touch me. He said something, or maybe I did, but I don't remember what. I was under the impression he was smiling. Off comes my bra (I wasn't wearing any bottoms already, not sure when that happened) and a few seconds later he embraced/kissed me and we laid down. I remember seeing a picture or a tumblr post about Vegeta from DBZ on the floor and something about boners, all just as I was opening my eyes, but my alarm went off and I woke up.

My alarm clock is silent for 10 minutes between each snooze so that dream was about 9 minutes long. Upon waking up, I realized it was one of the most vivid dreams I've had with my eyes closed. The sensations were all very real and I was surprised I didn't wake up from just having them closed, as that often guarantees the end of a dream. And my sex dreams usually get doubly spicy p fast, so it was nice having this slow and fairly realistic one.

I really want a Madagascar hissing cockroach.

EDIT: I forgot a bunch! It all came back to me a little while ago.

I was at a big party in some.. warehouse or whatevs'. It was just jam packed with people, so many people. There were a few tables set up with.. I guess food but I think there were a few with whatever junk. I was talking with some girls next to me and could sometimes see myself, like I was in a movie. The entire room was very dim, lit with only blue lights so everything and everyone had a blue tint. A girl next to me nodded towards someone in the distance, so I looked over and my vision zoomed in but it was kind of blurry and I missed what I was supposed to see. Everything rewound, I think, and I zoomed in again. Everything was blurry except this one face and it was Voldemort. He stared at me and began to grow hair, then turned around and left very quickly (the warehouse had biiiig sliding doors that were always open. There was a parking lot outside). I was now under the impression that most of the people in the room were wizards. I remember Joseph Gordon-Levitt being outside the door and waving for me to come out. I guess this dream came before the spicy one.

[transition]

Some little tidbit about wearing black pants, a black leather jacket and a tie-dye shirt and tie-dye shoes. Most of the focus was on the shoes and just seeing them from different angles (I have tie-dye Converse in real life). I was admiring how nice black clothing looked with rainbow accessories.

This guy named Yotam was in my dream last night. I went to beeed.. aroounnd.. 2 or 2:30AM. I know I turned my alarm off a few times and actually got up at 10:30AM. Let's do this.

So I'm still in school, but it's the last day of the year and everyone is leaving. I have a feeling it was college because we were in dorms and I was packing a bunch of clothes. I saw Yotam walk by my door, which was open, and his hair was down to his shoulders (and he looked awfully depressed). I yelled for him to come back and he did and I started going on about how great his hair looked. He seemed pretty sheepish about it but also glad I complimented him. I was under the impression that no one really liked it or he'd been made fun of and generally had a bad year, for other reasons, too. He then started asking me if I wanted to hang out/go to his house/play games/whatevs' and I had the feeling he was kind of trying to ask me out. I said something about how that was a great idea and I just needed to finish packing.

[transitiooon]

I'm in a bathroom, I'm pretty sure it's Yotam's because he's in the shower. I was just like.. brushing/drying my hair or something, maybe washing my face. I know he was talking to me the entire time but I can't remember what he was saying. I was in a good mood, though. I guess he was saying something nice.

[another empty transition]

I can see Yotam across the street. I'm standing outside a house and he's surrounded by guys who are about to beat him up, possibly over his long hair or something equally stupid. I ran over to help but don't remember getting there. I do kind of remember seeing him on the ground getting kicked, though.

[some kind of transition, again]

I was walking around the house and caught a glimpse of my hair, which was still kind of wet from a shower I had and it was plastered to my forehead and drying in a really weird way. It was on the verge of being a bad mullet and I was like, "Oh man, I need to cut my hair." so I cut it and ended up making it look even more like a bad mullet. Parts of it would be sopping wet and then suddenly be dry and I couldn't cut anything properly because it was switching from wet to dry. It didn't look as bad when I blow dried it.

I went to bed around 12:30AM, fell asleep closer to 2AM, woke up around 9:30AM.

First of all, this is Tofino, BC. Here's where it is on a map of Canada. It's a huge surf spot on Vancouver Island. It's beautiful, lots of happy island folk and all that jazz. I'd love to go there some day.

So that's where I was in this dream. I was in Tofino with two of my friends. I just watched Lilo and Stitch last night so the whole surfing thing makes sense. Anyways, we're hanging out on the beach, which is surrounded by near-black cliffs over a hundred feet high. We all ran into the water and suddenly had surf boards which we were hanging on to, floating between a bunch of wiry rock arches coming out of the water. In front of us, or to the right of the bay, there was this huge pillar-type rock formation partway in the ocean. It was light brown and had cracks in it that resembled the scales of a tortoise leg. There might have been a few sparse trees at the very top. One of my friends started swimming towards it but I told her to stop because the waves seemed attracted to it. The water was rising probably 20 or 30 feet by it but would never break into a wave. It still seemed dangerous and I told her we should stay where the smaller waves are for now. We never actually went surfing.

Now here's where Cortes Island is. I've been there and the surrounding islands before. There's about 900-1000 people, no lines on any of the roads (which are all curved and are constantly going up and down), no street lights, no traffic lights, and most of the houses look like cabins. There are wolves, cougars, seals, whales, tons of wildlife. SO, that's where I was in the next part. Just giving you an idea of the scenery.

I was in a house with ♥Mark, one we had apparently just moved in to, except I was in pajamas and we were both like, "How did we get this house?" So we were walking around the living room and kitchen, which were both quite small. I tried using a phone that was on the counter but the buttons weren't working, which was awful because I really wanted to call my mom and talk to her about jobs and how we got this house and how we were going to pay for it. I glanced down the hallway which was like.. barely 10ft and said, "Oh, I guess we should pick our rooms." but I think ♥Mark was busy looking at something in the living room. I have a feeling a TV was already set up and there was a fireplace. So I went into the bathroom and realized at this point that I was in pajamas and not wearing a bra, which was very uncomfortable and I wanted to change and go outside. Instead, my view changed to an overhead view of the bathroom with me still in it and I saw a sort of time lapse of it being redone. I saw/heard myself sigh and noticed how depressed I suddenly was, even though it looked great when it was done. My view returned and I was stroking the light purple wall, noticing that I couldn't unbend my pinkies and it was very uncomfortable. I yelled out the door, "Great job doing the bathroom, Mark!" and didn't seem so upset at this point.

[some kind of transition]

I'm at a store with my super cool grandma, still on Cortes. It's filled with paintings, mostly, and there are a few on these long, skinny, rectangular canvases that are especially beautiful. Just abstract flowers and stuff. My grandma starts hugging me, like a really sincere, firm hug and tells me how beautiful I am. She was acting much more peppy than she is IRL, but otherwise it was all pretty normal. She told me that she wanted me to pick out one of the long, skinny paintings, which ever one I liked best. I was so happy that she was going to buy one for me and said, "I really don't know, they're all so beautiful."

I started to wonder where ♥Mark had gone because he was supposed to be with us. I walked outside the store, which was missing two walls, and got onto this laptop that was connected to a tree or something. He was online so I asked him where he was. He said he was playing Vindictus so I was like, "Wait, you're at home?" and then something like, "Why aren't you here?" He said, "Yeah. About that..." Before he could say anything else, I added, "I wanted you to come out with me today and meet my grandma." ♥Mark started explaining that because he's married now, he becomes schizophrenic when he's in cars with other people. I was sad about that but I think I just walked away from the laptop after saying something else and spelling Vindictus as "Vindictueus". I had been having a lot of trouble typing the entire time.

So then I was walking in this gravel parking lot of some kind, and also saw myself walking in it, towards my point of view. I had a baggy black sweater on and fairly short tan shorts. I was missing a flip flop. I turned and ran back to get it, as it was just a few feet behind me and realized I had also forgotten my camera on the beach from the beginning of the dream. I freaked out and didn't think I'd be able to find it now, that it had washed away with the tide.

something something

foggy

I think that's it.

* This was lost in the crash, I'm just re-posting it. *

Zebrah gave me the urge to restart my dream journal and I just happened to have a long, amazing dream this morning. Here we go!

The setting looked very much like my high school, which was designed after a prison, as far as I know. So the cafeteria was in the center and there were four wings of classes extending from it, like wings of cells. There was a huge hole in the center of the second floor so you could see down into the cafeteria, or jump down if you felt like breaking your leg. In real life, there's bars and railing that go around the second floor but in my dream, that wasn't there, just a ring of large, painted cinder blocks at the edge. People in the dream were sitting on them and no one seemed worried about falling backwards and dropping 25ft.

Anyways, the beginning is a little foggy. I'm sure there's something there, but I mostly remember things really taking off at this point:

I was sitting on the cinder blocks with a girl in a large, white winter coat/trench coat. She looked a lot like me, now that I think about it. She also looked like this girl. Her face kind of varied between the two and I'm almost positive she was actually me and I was someone else hanging with her, but that comes in later.

So we're chatting it up, I'm telling her a story and she's listening pretty intently, but at some point, she starts looking around frantically, gets up and runs off. I glance at another friend nearby and we're both pretty confused, so we run off after her. When we catch up, it's clear she's having some kind of panic attack. We lead her back to where we were and she sits down again and I start firing questions. By now, I'm the other person so I'm going to refer to "my" actions as, "X [action]..." while her actions will be, "ShI/HIr/etc [action]...", okay (the I is to help you remember that she's actually me)? So I was actively playing X in the dream, but the girl was me.

Anyways, X says, "Are you okay? What happened? I was telling you a story and.. and you were doing that..." The gIrl had started looking around frantically again, but shI nodded as if listening, so X continued, "Are you freaking out because of all the people? What's going on?" There were more and more students/people gathering around on the cinder blocks and it seemed to make hIr panic attack worse, to the point that she was hyperventilating badly. X crouched down and got on their knees between the gIrl's legs. It was a pretty intimate moment but I don't recall it feeling sexual, more romantic in a platonic kind of way. X put their hands on hIr lap and said, "Hey. Look at me, just me. There's me and only me, just me. You're fine." ShI looked at X and held eye contact for a long time. Everyone in my/X's peripheral vision began turning red and the space behind the gIrl's head was turning black. We stared for a long time and eventually rested our foreheads together, still holding eye contact. ShI was obviously feeling much better as she embraced X, who was sort of rubbing/stroking hIr thighs but it was still mostly non-sexual, though the feeling of intimacy had certainly heightened. This went on for a very long time, just a loving embrace and a bit of friendly groping with nothing but the sound of breathing, I think X whispered something but I can't quite remember. This moment in the dream was saturated with very genuine happiness and I felt upset when it was over.

Now things get a little weird. The gIrl fell asleep against X but everyone assumed she died. It didn't seem to be a big deal though, like no one really cared. X cradled her and laid her down on the cinder blocks, which sort of reminded me of my dog, so for a few seconds, the gIrl was my dog. X gave her another hug but overall wasn't feeling very much remorse and no one else around seemed to notice what happened. A few minutes later, shI woke up/came back to life and ran towards this giant gash in the wall which led to a rocky tunnel, but X grabbed her, held her back and said, "You know you can't go in there!" The gIrl smiled and nodded and we/they sat on the cinder blocks again. X continued explaining, "There's.. sort of like.. another world in there. You know the robots from the movie iRobot? They're like that, very advanced, humanoid androids, but they were banished to that world. We can't go in there or we'll affect their way of living." The gIrl grinned and said something, X took note of how straight her teeth were. ShI ran off yet again and this time made it into the tunnel, so X and the friend from earlier flipped out and went after her.

I can finally get rid of the X/ShI/etc! Everything was back to normal now, the girl was a different person and I was just me again. So we came to the last corner of the tunnel and I was afraid to be the first one around it, so I turned and grabbed "orange" behind me (for a few seconds, we were colours. I was red, maybe, behind me was orange and behind them was blue) and pushed them to the front and they went right away. I followed quickly after because I was also afraid for them, that they would get hurt because of me not being the "leader".

We entered a room that was so white, you could hardly make out any dimension. There was a stream going through it and even that was such a light blue, it was nearly white. A blue MS paint styled salamander popped up and this was apparently the girl from earlier. It was missing a hand and wasn't animated and I couldn't even hear it, but I was under the impression it told us not to be in that world.

[some kind of transition]

Me, the girl, and a few other friends entered a grocery store very late at night. It was dimly lit and there were only a few people purchasing goods. I'm not sure what we were buying, I think it was pet food of some kind. Anyways, everyone in the store is kind of.. staring at us, like they know we're not from there and shouldn't be there. I heard some "wooing" behind me and turned around. This man in a suit carrying a leather bound book was walking funny and was slightly crouched, staring at me and yelling, "Woo! Woo! Wooo! Woooooo! Woo!" He kept staring at me and continued walking weird until he approached his desired aisle at which point he abruptly started walking in a very calm way with good posture. I whispered to the girl that this place was a little strange and we should probably leave soon. She nodded and we didn't even bother buying anything after seeing this one guy at the cash register. He stared at us with such disgust and anger, had vivid blond hair and looked kind of like a redneck from a beat up trailer park. Feeling pretty freaked out, we left.

It was only me and the girl now. We were walking down this alley outside the parking lot, which had a wooden fence on one side and a chain link fence on the other. I could barely make out a guy in the parking lot staring at us and was creeped out when he started making duck/bird noises. The chain link turned into a wooden fence and I somehow knew we'd be safe if he couldn't see us. So we're walking and she's way faster than me. I grabbed her sleeve and said, "I can't believe how fast you walk! I guess your strides are bigger than mine." We laughed and she said sorry as we came up to a corner in the alley. It led to a dead end/the back of a building. There was a street lamp in the corner and we both walked backwards to it and squished ourselves into it (the corner). I was slightly behind her but we were mostly beside each other, somehow able to totally relax without falling down. I could see a bed "growing" out of her side in my peripheral vision. I was staring ahead and wanted to put my head on her shoulder, but was nervous. I also wanted to put my arm around her, still too nervous. I said, "Are you comfortable?" After a few seconds of no response, I glanced up at her face and she was looking at me. She smiled and said, "Yeah." in a very warm tone.