non-lucid

I was being terrorized by Homelander in my own apartment. I think he'd already killed a bunch of other people, and he needed something from me. He told me to do it, and left. I knew he would never leave me alone, this would probably not end well for me, and he knows where I live. I knew I probably needed to move, quietly and without anyone knowing. I got back to my computer. It was my older 2016 machine, and I had successfully gotten it to run Windows 98.

I waited way too long to write this down, so most of it is gone. I was with my old high school friends, Fenn and Barra. I was feeling a sense of melancholy, as if on some level I knew they weren't real and I was just reliving a piece of the past.

I think it started off as some kind of messed up game show like the Hunger Games, or at least that's how it felt. I was released into the world in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse. I entered a house and picked out a sword from a weapon rack. There was a big curved sword which looked awesome, but it was way too heavy to be practical to carry around (nowhere to attach it to my outfit) so I opted for a short sword. At one time I was forced to flee from enemies, and I had to quickly scale a hedge or fence. I also fought zombies. On the horizon I saw a stunning view of a castle on a hill (in retrospect reminding me of Beauclair in Toussaint, The Witcher 3) and I wanted to take a picture of it with my phone. However, it was so big and I was so close that I struggled to get the whole thing framed right. I think I woke up in the middle of trying to take the picture.

Earth was under attack from what I can only describe as flying saucers. I was in a strange place, impossible to describe. An area separated from the rest of the world by huge... there are no words for it in any language I know. Like gigantic window blinds but placed vertically, forming a wall that could open and close. I think I went through at some point and it closed behind me. I felt deep inside that my every step was predetermined, and I was always going to end up where I was supposed to be, safely "imprisoned" behind that wall, until the aliens were done with the world (but I had at least survived the armageddon). I felt like I wasn't supposed to stop this disaster, just survive it. I was having some kind of massive déjà vu the entire time. I remembered having dreamt all of this before, and felt like I was simply retracing my steps. I walked out into an open area, and saw hundreds, maybe thousands of saucers descend from the heavens. I knew that soon, they would lay waste to our world. I'd seen it happen before.

In one scene, still in the same dream (where on the timeline this happens is unclear), I'm sitting at a table with a number of other people. They're talking and the subject of dreams comes up. I say I've had lucid dreams before, and begin elaborating on the entire subject. I think synchronicity also came up. I think at one time, I called out "11:11!"

I've had two dreams, in both my mom is alive and well and makes an appearance. I've completely forgotten the first.

In the second, I was in a darkened room. My mom was on the computer playing video games. The only light in the room was from the screen. I was sitting at a table, playing with a lightsaber. If it was supposed to be a toy, it was remarkably real. Made the zooming noises when I swung it around, and actually projected a plasma beam. After a while, the battery started running out, and the plasma beam for shorter and fuzzier at the tip. On the floor there were model airplanes like the ones I used to build as a kid. At some stage I had to leave the room to go do something, or go get something. I had a lot of difficulty seeing because it was so dark. I struggled with my eyesight, and trying not to trip over the airplanes. On the way out, I looked back at mom and saw she was playing an MMO like World or Worldcraft. When leaving, I felt a strange sense of melancholy, as if on some level I knew I was leaving her for good (she is gone in real life).

"Escape" seems like the theme of the week. Once again, we're a group of people, and we need to escape from somewhere before another group of hostiles arrive who would take us all prisoner. The others all managed to evacuate before they arrived, but I didn't. The "bad guys" (who were just people, dressed normally, just hostile to us for some reason) kind of congregated around me, interrogated me, investigated the area where we were holed up, but eventually they got distracted talking to each other. I used the distracted to walk to the exit unnoticed, then bolt outside. I found myself on a beach area (was I on a ship before?) and thinking I was probably safe surrounded by so many people. They'd never take me in such a public place. I took off into vertical flight, and gained some altitude. Transitioning into horizontal flight, I decided to head to the place we had previously designated as our rendezvous point in case we got separated. However, I struggled to keep altitude. I lost altitude until I was just a meter or so above the water surface. Sticking out my arm downwards (still traveling at fairly high speed), I could actually feel the water. I tried to regain altitude by sort of wriggling my body upwards, but it wouldn't work.

I was in a bizarre place. A series of rooms, hallways and stairways, but with an open ceiling so you could see the sky. I was with multiple other people, all trying to escape. I think we had to pass the same area multiple times, but in a different "cycle" so it would look slightly different every time, with traps in different places, obstacles moved slightly, etc. In the final cycle, entire parts of the floor turned to lava. I think one of the guys I was with was Ed Harris? We went up a stone spiral staircase, and reached the exit. By this point, I had gained a subconscious awareness that this was a dream, and that the plot had come to an end. But not full lucidity. I started flying, going straight up and looking down. From a respectable altitude, I could see all the landmarks we'd previously visited during our escape. There were strange, orb-shaped luminescent structures. I think it was a bit misty, too. There was a rousing, inspiring soundtrack playing as I ascended. I felt on a subconscious level that I was the one "generating" the music - again some degree of lucidity. I even caught myself marveling at the fact that this musical composition did not exist, and I completely made it up in real-time. I decided to go higher, into space, so I stretched out my arms to reach for the heavens, and with one extra burst of acceleration flew upwards until the sky got black and starry. While I did this, the soundtrack hammed it up even more, and got even more epic.

I remember almost nothing. Maybe a road, and a bunch of people walking along this road to an unknown destination? During the dream, I figured out I could fly, so I did a bunch of stupid stunts and showing off. But the part that puzzled me the most in retrospect, is when I approached a girl I liked, and actually asked her on a date...? I felt such unbelievable confidence, it was unlike anything I've ever felt in the real world.

I was being chased around by a psychopath trying to kill me. I think he had a knife. This happened in what I think was a big cafeteria? At some point I found a flamethrower. But every time I tried using it, he dodged backwards impossibly quickly, making me miss. I realized he was an NPC and this was scripted. You weren't supposed to be able to hurt him, you were supposed to flee. But I realized his behavior could be exploited. I drove him into a corner with my bursts of fire. He had nowhere to run to, he couldn't go left or right. Now I think he wore glasses and wore a suit, like the guy from Falling Down. I could see the despair and confusion in his eyes. I'd beat him. I tried pulling the trigger but it didn't work. What a cliche. I looked to make sure I was gripping the right bits (there was this inflated bag-thing you were supposed to compress, THEN pull the trigger - weird), then tried again. Flaming hot inferno poured out of the flamethrower and scorched the bad guy.

I was in another country, looking for a job to supplement my income. I stumbled upon a small street restaurant that served good food. They were very nice and they agreed to hire me. There was a moment I was confused as to when I was actually supposed to be in the restaurant, as there was no one around (no customers). Apparently, dream logic is that when there's no customers around, you can just go home until someone shows up...?

I woke up remembering a whole bunch of '80s songs. Or at least I think it was more than one... The last one I had in my head was a fully formed song, every instrument, vocals, lyrics, everything, and I'm not sure if it even exists in real life. I've had this before over a decade ago, when I dreamt a complete Depeche Mode song that did not exist. Not unlike what generative AI does these days, except better. Anyway, this latest song had "don't stop" as a repeating lyric, but that's so vague it was impossible to find on Google even if it existed.

We were sitting somewhere outdoors. There were quite a lot of people. There was a guy speaking to the group, maybe on a stage, or at his table. I know I hated him and he hated me. At some point I had to do something that was confusing, and I didn't do it quite right. I managed to have a sarcastic reaction to this, which infuriated the guy. At one point I think I was speaking from that stage instead, and said something incredibly sarcastic again, a jab at my rival. I think he (or someone else) said in the background "you are so insufferable!". Seconds before waking up, I became aware this was all a movie, and I was an actor performing a role. I really tried to "ham up" my sarcastic smirk for the invisible cameras, expecting someone to yell "cut!".

In the second dream, I'm flying a F22 Raptor in chase cam, like in a game. I flew into a jump gate like the ones from the X franchise, and ended up in the warp tunnel like in X²: The Threat. I realized that it was possible to fly up and outside of the warp tunnel, seeing it from the outside. There was another "layer" of "something" surrounding it (very hard to explain), but you could fly between them. As the warp tunnel neared its end (where it would normally spit you out into the next space sector), I discovered that staying just above the actual tunnel (but below the other layer) spit me out in a hidden reality: a bright, sunny place, dominated by a HUGE city of futuristic glass towers. I flew around a bit, doing maneuvers and gawking at my environment. I saw the inhabitants on the ground. They were NOT human, but strange aliens, with weird, floaty appendages.

In the next scene, possibly still in this city, I'm in a big house. A whole bunch of sitcom-level stuff happened here that I can't recall, but it was funny. I punched the president in the face! Ha. At some point I tried to escape (I was a prisoner there, free to roam around but not leave?) so I ran into the back yard and go through a hole in the hedge. But I couldn't get through. I quickly decided to abort this attempt and try somewhere else before they (the CIA?) caught me. At this second point, I managed to get over a fence. The CIA was hot on my heels, but they were JUST too late to stop me. Before I woke up, I crowed victoriously, "Aw hell no, I invented that trick!". Random, not sure what I was even referring to (the CIA dudes tried something to stop me?), but dreams are dreams I guess.

I had a vision of Claire at homecoming. She was walking or running through a long school corridor, until suddenly she was confronted by something that scared her. She wanted to turn and run, but behind her an unnatural wall of darkness was closing in. She was surrounded by it on all sides now. I knew there was no escape. It popped into my awareness that I'd turned on this scene by accident, but choosing to view it in its entirety was my choice. I could pause it, move forward, and back - but never sense my own body. I could, however, feel myself present in that scene with Claire, but more as a kind of disembodied spirit if that makes sense.

I was visiting my father at the chemical plant he works at. It looked different. We talked a bit. He was at his desk. Then I left, saying "see you this evening!" because we'd agreed I'd come over later that evening. Note: IRL, I have indeed agreed to meet my dad later this evening.

Another waking dream of the same type as yesterday. Talking to someone I couldn't see right as I was on the cusp of waking up. Feeling my bed, and seeing my bedroom, but still continuing the conversation. As my logical faculties slowly kicked in as I transitioned to full waking state, I briefly feared I was going schizophrenic.

In the first dream, I saw my deceased mother again. As usual, I was reduced to a sobbing mess as I hugged her tightly.

In the second dream, I had passionate sex with a woman I didn't know. The scene played out like a POV cutscene from a game... it was so good, that after it was over I wanted to replay the scene