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    Xanous' Dream Journal

    She Doesn't Trust You, The Voice In The Void

    by , 10-27-2012 at 04:35 PM (751 Views)


    Thoughts | Non-Lucid | Lucid | Techniques/Aids

    Some Alcohol

    Bedtime midnight-ish - Wife, her mom and sister were up making Halloween costumes for the kids. I got cranky tired and took Riley to bed with me.

    To tired for inductions
    WBTB 4:00AM alarm too tired to even get up to pee.

    I wanted to sleep later but after a 7AM feeding he snoozed and I sort of fell into a half LD half daydream with lots of really strong HI. I can't say for sure if I was actually asleep but time seemed to pass quickly. I was slightly uncomfortable the way he was snuggled against me. I didn't dare move him. I have been really tired and 6-8 hrs sleep is no good for a person that requires 10. I just enjoyed him letting me lay in bed a little longer. It was nice bonding time nevertheless.


    She Doesn't Trust You - 5:52AM

    This dream was way longer but I only remember the last bit. I am in a cow pasture and there are two unpainted barns. Cows are all around and I am moving living room furniture from the right one to the left one. There is mud in the barns and I am stepping in it but I see I am wearing rubber boots so I don't mind. I see a rainy misty green countryside out side. I have a folding chair in each hand. They are black metal. The cows freak out and get scared of them. They act skittish like my cats do and some are small like dogs. One cow gets its head caught in a folding chair and trashes about to get free. I make it to the other barn. There are couches, recliners, other folding chairs, and an old cabinet style TV. I am moving furniture around and I keep seeing my deceased grandfather as a reflection in the TV glass. I make a mental note to investigate when I am done. I see and old black leather recliner. I think I ruined it by putting it in a barn. I look closer and see that it is cracked and the color is worn in places. It was trash already. I make a final adjustment and look at the TV. Pawpaws reflection is sitting down in the chair. I am partial lucid here as I dream of the dead a lot but it feels so natural that I don't totally get it. I look at him and ask him, "Where is Nanny?"
    His simply says, "She don't trust you yet."
    "But...Why?"
    He is looking in the distance and I get the feeling that he can see her and hear her. He says to me, "Because."
    Then the world folds in on its self and I totally and consciously experience every detail of waking from a dream. I was a very odd feeling and one that would be hard to describe. I thought to DEILD but I had to pee really bad and the clock was 8 min away from my wife's wake up time so it was pointless to try.

    This is odd because the last time I remember her in my dream I became lucid. See: http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/xano...d-deild-37105/ And a brief NLD:

    Dead Grandma- Fragment
    I experience strong HI untill a full non lucid dream occurs. Funny there was no SP
    I am looking in the filing cabinet on the bottom drawer. My wife comes close to me and bumps her pregnant belly on my head. I look up and caress and kiss her belly. Then I look at her face and it VIVIDLY distorts into my dead gramdma. I am reminded of how it happens in Grimm. She telepathically tells me that she is reincarnated into my unborn son. I ask her how can that be he is a boy and you were a woman. She tells me things like that don't matter. I wake with a startle.
    I am not sure if I have seen her since my son was born. That's some Goddamned crazy shit!

    The Voice in the void

    Later I am in strong HI I manipulate and interact with it hoping to actively WILD. It feels like a LD but I feel my body in bed still. I thin about the past dream and want answers. I see my grandfather and ask him why again. I can't remember what he said to me but it wasn't an answer. So I ask, "Will you be my dream guide? I would be nice to have a relationship with you and be something we never could have when you were alive." I think about how religious he was.
    I don't really see anything now. I an in a black void. I hear a voice reply, "Yes, I will be your dream guide." The voice sounds flat and emotionless. I does not sound like my grandfather did. I ask to be clear, "Will you be my dream guide?"
    The same voice, "Yes."
    "You are not my pawpaw are you?"
    "No." Now the voice sounds deep and sort of like a high class English man.
    "Who are you?" He replies but it gets garbbled. I ask a second time.
    "Edward Godrich the second."
    "OK will YOU be my dream guide?"
    "I told you yes."
    "OK when?"
    "When you let yourself go in a dream, I will be there."


    There was more of the conversation but I can't remember it all.
    My son squirms and wakes me out of my trance.

    That wasnt the type of LD I wanted but both the NLD and the interaction later was fun as hell. I don't really know what to make of it. I suppose it's all just in my head but I hope Mr. Godrich helps me out tonight!
    CanisLucidus likes this.

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    Updated 10-27-2012 at 04:39 PM by 5967

    Categories
    lucid , non-lucid , memorable

    Comments

    1. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      Some amazing content in here. I don't often dream of lost loved ones but it's wonderful to experience the model of them that hold onto after they've left. When you think about it, any time you are apart from a person (living or dead), all you have is the picture of them you carry in your mind. This is what we experience in dreams. So long as these pictures exist, are these people ever really gone?

      So can I assume that you googled "Edward Godrich?" I'm assuming that the name isn't familiar to you. It's great the name came out so clear the second time. It looked like your subconscious was going to cop out on you at first.

      You sound super tired. I really do feel for you. Sounds like a nice time with the baby though.

      As for it all being in your head, maybe so. But in practicing lucid dreaming, you learn that "in your head" is a more fascinating, complex, and vast place than you had ever imagined.

      "The Brain—is wider than the Sky—
      For—put them side by side—
      The one the other will contain
      With ease—and You—beside—"

      --Emily Dickinson
    2. Xanous's Avatar
      Yes well it was interesting, thanks for the comment. I did google that name after. I had never heard of Godrich. I got a dude from the late 1700's England.

      Now the voice sounds deep and sort of like a high class English man.
      Creepy.