Awareness in dreams, and "Shadows"

[Kumara]

In the past three years I've experienced a handful of DILD's, and always have popped out of them pretty quickly as is typical, from being so excited to awaken. The past few weeks I really stepped up my practice and have focused on LD's. I've had several, and almost without exception, there has been a theme of disgusting, foul, morphing monsters approaching me for love. One was so hideous that I closed my dream eyes, but held it and the tenderest, sweetest most loving words of love and compassion poured out of me. I don't seem to have enough control of the dream to do anything else. During the day, I prepare myself by thinking of things like surrounding myself with gold light...and although I am aware I am dreaming, I'm not quite "lucid". Last night I was even telling someone in my dream that my physical body was in "...my home city" while I was dreaming in Seattle, and knew I was dreaming, but...just kinda of went along with the whole thing. Also last night, I dreamed of someone behind me, holding me, and it felt so sweet. I felt 'arms' on either side of me, and I reached to my left to kiss the arm and hand of the 'someone', and it was a weird, gelatinous cluster...sort of like a sea anemone, but it registered as being gross, and when I kissed it before I saw it, a piece of it ended up in my mouth, and I could taste it sort of salty and revolting, but I didn't spit it out. I kept thinking, "the most important thing is to be with this no matter what happens and LOVE it." What I thought were arms on either side of me shifted and morphed, from gelatinous to actually looking like arms, to the one on the right changing into having several claws, which I held away from me. I heard the voice of an ex-boyfriend behind me say something, and I said, "Don't be T****", as if I were telling it not to pretend to be my ex, or that I didn't want this shifting thing that loves me to be him. Another part of the dream was having sex with a DC, who morphed and went all weird on me, then shifted to a mans' face, and I said, "wow, you are really beautiful", and then it changed again, to weird faces and something with a rooster's comb growth down a neck that had elongated...bizarre. I suppose this is at least a step up from imagining a beautiful room with a beautiful lover and instead being assaulted by a shadowy DC. So... what I'm asking is for feedback on how to take command in my dreams when I realize I'm dreaming, and also feedback from those who are more experienced in the oozy unconscious material. What I'm wondering is, what is up with this integration stuff? I'm thinking: a - that a belief I have and a desire for 'integration' is creating unnecessary, infinite grotesque creatures for 'integration', and the dreams are a manifestation of masochism b - i actually DO have that much muck to integrate, I have experienced horrors in my life that are way out of the ordinary experience of the vast majority of people, and this is just part of the process I'm open to other interpretations and guidance.

[KingYoshi]

Hello and Welcome to DreamViews! I'll go ahead and answer your basic question and move this thread over into the Dream Interpretation section. I'm sure you will be able to get more responses over there. When lay down to go to sleep at night, tell yourself that once you become lucid, you will act on that lucidity. It is also a good idea to perform a reality check once you realize you are dreaming. The RC will really help plant that, "I am dreaming," thought into your mind. That way you won't slip back into a non-lucid dream. Just take a moment upon becoming lucid to look around and really grasp the concept. Perform a RC and carry on with your lucidity. Most importantly, just keep practicing. Congrats on your lucidity and good luck to you!

[Kumara]

Thanks for the feedback, I think for me this dream (added up with other recent dreams) plus what you have to say all point to needing to be more assertive, more commanding. This dream reminded me a lot of how I would accept a lot of revolting behavior in relationships, thinking I had to be unconditionally accepting and loving without question. I played out being in the dream again and practiced saying, "back up, wait a minute, who are you? what do you represent?" in an assertive way. Which inspired me to research self-defense classes, I'm planning on signing up for one this month. Back to a humdrum ordinary dream last night...zzzz...lol.

[KingYoshi]

Awesome! I'm sure the classes will be very interesting, as well as beneficial. Good luck to you and if you ever need anything else, don't hesitate to ask !

[EbbTide000]

In the past three years I've experienced a handful of DILD's, and always have popped out of them pretty quickly as is typical, from being so excited to awaken. The past few weeks I really stepped up my practice and have focused on LD's. I've had several, and almost without exception, there has been a theme of disgusting, foul, morphing monsters approaching me for love. One was so hideous that I closed my dream eyes, but held it and the tenderest, sweetest most loving words of love and compassion poured out of me. I don't seem to have enough control of the dream to do anything else. During the day, I prepare myself by thinking of things like surrounding myself with gold light...and although I am aware I am dreaming, I'm not quite "lucid". Last night I was even telling someone in my dream that my physical body was in "...my home city" while I was dreaming in Seattle, and knew I was dreaming, but...just kinda of went along with the whole thing. Also last night, I dreamed of someone behind me, holding me, and it felt so sweet. I felt 'arms' on either side of me, and I reached to my left to kiss the arm and hand of the 'someone', and it was a weird, gelatinous cluster...sort of like a sea anemone, but it registered as being gross, and when I kissed it before I saw it, a piece of it ended up in my mouth, and I could taste it sort of salty and revolting, but I didn't spit it out. I kept thinking, "the most important thing is to be with this no matter what happens and LOVE it." What I thought were arms on either side of me shifted and morphed, from gelatinous to actually looking like arms, to the one on the right changing into having several claws, which I held away from me. I heard the voice of an ex-boyfriend behind me say something, and I said, "Don't be T****", as if I were telling it not to pretend to be my ex, or that I didn't want this shifting thing that loves me to be him. Another part of the dream was having sex with a DC, who morphed and went all weird on me, then shifted to a mans' face, and I said, "wow, you are really beautiful", and then it changed again, to weird faces and something with a rooster's comb growth down a neck that had elongated...bizarre. I suppose this is at least a step up from imagining a beautiful room with a beautiful lover and instead being assaulted by a shadowy DC. So... what I'm asking is for feedback on how to take command in my dreams when I realize I'm dreaming, and also feedback from those who are more experienced in the oozy unconscious material. What I'm wondering is, what is up with this integration stuff? I'm thinking: a - that a belief I have and a desire for 'integration' is creating unnecessary, infinite grotesque creatures for 'integration', and the dreams are a manifestation of masochism b - i actually DO have that much muck to integrate, I have experienced horrors in my life that are way out of the ordinary experience of the vast majority of people, and this is just part of the process I'm open to other interpretations and guidance. Kumara Thank you for dropping into my dream journal today. I ... Lobsang Ramper wrote about the highest astral planes being protected by harmless "elementals". He said they are there to keep out the riff-raff and trouble makers. People who have not matured enough to know that (sort of) all you need is love and love is all you need. These elemental do their best to scare people off and are often very, very disgusting. But they are in fact totaly harmless. In the end people get totally bored the the lower planes, that once were very new and exciting. When they begin to feel invited to higher energy planes they don't understand why they are barred by these frightening and disgusting creatures. Lobsang said to relax and don't fight them, they are only doing their job. You will soon pass by them if you relax and don't let them distract you. The reward for getting passed them is very worth it. Kumara, I get raped by things and I too just take it, and love them with all of my heart. After which I get break-through type dreams, (never lucid) but much better than lucid dreams. I too knew, off-the-scale terror, as an infant. I believe that behind the strong illusion of separateness we are actually one being in billions of single bodies and loving is the way to destroy the powerful illusion of separation. And I think people like you and me who had very bad (?) have a survival instinct that leads to the knowledge that "love changes everything" and integrates everything into the whole. Integrates the billions of lonely, frightened, self-loathing, disgusting separate entities into the one deep mind, "free at last".