New member kindly asking for some interpretations

[Bobomy]

This is LONG. I'm sorry. So hi. Most of these aren't recent, but I've always been curious about them. I never remember details from my dreams, in fact most of the time I don't remember having dreamt at all, so this is not going to be very detailed. About me: I'm 22, male, and if you're into this kind of thing - MBTI type INFJ, Enneagram type 4w3 (tritype 461). I've been suffering from depression and anhedonia as well as autoimmune conditions and digestive issues and whatnot the past couple of years, but this shouldn't be relevant to most of my post. I'm sort of obsessed with morality. I have very mild OCD (used to be worse in my teens), I'm easily disgusted, have moderate social anxiety, addictions for food, masturbation and video games. I rarely read because I cannot focus on books, but when I do, it's either fantasy or academic/semi-academic books. I also like some of the not-so-depressing classics, like Jane Austen's or some children's books. I read crime novels, but only because they are easy to read - otherwise I don't like the subject. I have no friends because I cut everyone off. Everyone seems insensitive or immoral or intellectually lazy. I mostly stay at home, being afraid to find a job or go to university. What else... Well as a child I used to think that objects were actually alive, so I felt really bad for having to throw them away and I tried to pair them so they wouldn't be lonely or hurt in the bin. I had an imaginary speaking dog friend. I'm very nervous, so each copy of the same letter in my handwriting is different and I press too hard. It's pretty ugly. I am very musically gifted but during lessons I've taken I would be so afraid not to make a mistake that I would spend most of the time trying to make myself do something with my hands. I would grip the instrument really tightly and sweat a lot. I'm extremely afraid of people's bad opinion of me. Sometimes I trip when I walk by someone who seems to be watching me. Things which I'm able to perform on my own, I can't do in front of people or a camera. The dreams: Recurring. Early. The usual tsunami dream. What's interesting is that in my dream, I had a special spot on the cliffs where I would be protected (hopefully; I think I was never sure of it) from the water and where I would go each time. I don't remember the wave actually coming, though. A thing to reference for the rest of my dreams is that usually, in fact probably always, I have a feeling that something is about to happen, but it doesnt. Recurring. Early. The city where I live is invaded by giants. I'm very scared (I'm generally afraid of big things) and look for a hiding place. Eventually I hide under a table or something, but a giant finds me. However, we actually become friends (with all of the giants, that is, not just this one). Two years or so ago I saw a psychoanalyst of sorts and in the very beginning of our conversation, by which point I had already told him I liked the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein, he, upon hearing about this dream, remarked "aha! here is Wittgenstein", but since I always try to appear as though I'm fully competent, I was too shy to ask what he meant. Another one from my childhood. Some things are pretty obvious, others not so much. So our apartment building is 6 stories high and the stairs spiral around a wide gap which was probably intended for a lift or something. In my dream I was standing at the top, in front of our aparment's front door, when through the gap rose my father's protective mask for cutting metal (you know, the machine that throws sparks which can be blinding, no idea what it's called) It was surrounded by sparks and paused high above the gap for a moment. I knew I had to run. I started down the stairs and a couple of floors below I saw my father's bicycle, which would help my escape. But beside it was my stern aunt (who would babysit me when my parents were busy; she once fed me horribly smelling goat cheese and I hated it), and she said that since it was my father's I couldn't take it. Recurring. Late childhood, early teens. I have to catch an airplane. In fact, I can finally catch an airplane and that is liberating. Perhaps the privilege of being allowed on an airplane on my own is liberating or perhaps I wanted to get away, I don't know. But I am alone and being late and barely making it, and there is someone at the airport who is going to try and stop me. I don't remember much about this dream except being very confused by the structure of the airport and the simultaneous feeling of liberation and being pressured. Recurring in slightly different forms, from my teens. I live in a city. It somewhat resembles the one I actually live in. There is a particular part of the city that I know and visit and roam around. Or there is a particular bus which I know I normally take, so I take it and go somewhere. Sometimes I'm being late or nearly lost, but I make it. Sometimes I'm chasing someone, sometimes someone is chasing me. Sometimes I'm alone and sometimes not. But the main things is, there is a city to navigate and that in itself, not the reason for my navigating it, seems challenging to me (remember the airport). Once I dreamt that I was at a social event on some Arabian coast with my grandmother, but I left to wander on the beach on my own. It was dark and the water was perfectly still and smooth. Just below the surface were the pale ruins of a large temple. I swam above it. Everything about the place and what I was doing felt sacred. I felt I was being gifted an incredibly rare experience which also meant something important, and I was being judged, but not by an actual observer. Rather, it seemed as if the purity of the place was judging me. My grandmother's presence could be explained by her being a very social person (so naturally she should be the one to bring me to a social event), but she is also deeply religious, though Christian (and the temple was Muslim). At any rate she didn't seem significant. I barely remember her being there. Only when I went back inside, I told her of the temple I had found and she seemed only slightly interested. Recurring. Once again I find myself in a city much like my own. There is a fireball in the sky, static and somewhat tangible, like molten rock and not just flame. Around it the sky is cracked and the whole thing is the embodiment of relentless violence. It is doom (though I never think: doom of what exactly?) and it is the end. But it is also coloured like sunset (in fact it very much resembles sunset in its being the end) and its light penetrates the air and the windows around me, and it is captivatingly beautiful. I'm worried and I have to warn everybody about it, but I keep noticing the beauty. Ultimately I hurry and try to get people to listen to me, but nobody seems to notice me or hear me. Overall I feel dread mixed with serenity (weird, huh). Again, there is no conclusion, just like in the rest of my dreams. My favourite dream. Late teens. I'm walking along an enormous pitch black cave (empty space?) on a path high above, so that to see most of the space I have to look to my left and below. Even my path is not illuminated. I pass by a gigantic skull with an equally gigantic lit candle beside it. As I pass, the candle goes out, making a heavy but decisive sound as if somewhere heavy gates have been closed. An identical skull follows and once again, the candle goes out. Slowly, a barely noticeable sound emerges. I pass yet another skull. The sound gets louder and louder. It sounds like distand but full-bodied thunder, uninterrupted. I feel dread because of the sound, but I remain merely curious about the skulls. I pass the twelfth skull and the rumbling sound is louder than ever. So is the sound of the last candle going out and more final that the other ones, too. I wake up and the continuous sound from my dream transforms into a shout. I was very impressed with this dream, particularly because I had hardly ever had symbolic dreams before. Usually they're pretty obvious. This one seemed like a work of art and I was proud of it. The most recent one I remember. I was at this French palace's garden, having just arrived for an evening event. The garden was rather beautiful, full of that lively atmosphere one tends to experience in the crowd before a classical concert. There were mellow lights along the hedges and in the trees. The palace was an academy of sorts, much like Hogwarts. The headmistress approached me and I realized the event was about me. I was going to be engaged to a girl. I felt trapped, as if it would seal my fate, and I emphatically refused. Later, everyone was in a ballroom and in the center was that same girls along with two or three others (I cannot remember). Suddenly I felt strong attraction to one of the other girls and I knew I had to be with her. It was really important. I went and begged the headmistress, however in my dream her name was in English, but I spoke in my native language, so I had to translate it and I paused to think. People seemed amused and I felt ashamed. Her name was Molly's Pendant but I incorrectly translated it as Mrs Brooch in my language (probably because I associate the words, though I know they mean different things). My translation didn't seem to be of consequence, only something I felt stupid about once I woke up. Once again, there is no conclusion, but it's interesting to note that in my dream my name was Molly. I know I mixed tenses and my grammar and punctuation are virtually nonexistent, so I'm sorry.

[ZenLD]

So while I didn't have a chance to read the whole thing,I did carefully read the initial parts of it. Regarding the dream about tsunami: So water usually represents emotions, feelings that kind of thing. While I'm not sure whether your dream starts off with you in the ocean, or just by the shore, tsunami would represent powerful uncontrollable emotions and feelings that's trying to take over you and drown you with those emotions. So this emotion could be caused by a trauma that you've had, and you've never really let out the emotions; emotions coming from deep waters, deep from within you that you are repressing. The special spot on the cliff could be activities that you are doing to distract yourself from these emotions. Like food, video games...etc that you mentioned. And the waves never come... Right? Because video games or foods gets you distracted enough, and you indulge in it and the emotions never hit you when you're preoccupied with something else. No judgement here though. You've probably had rough time right? It's ok. You don't have to be perfect. Just be yourself. Let the emotions in gradually. Regarding the writing style changing. I had something like that. I'd write, say 5 paragraphs, and each one looked like it was written by someone else. I had suicidal thoughts multiple times a day for a long time. Doesn't happen anymore though. Well what helped me most was honestly meditation. You can try it if you think that'll help you. Start slow... start with like 5 minutes a day. You might get extremely bored at first. If 5 minutes a day is too hard then do it for just a minute a day. But do it every day. No matter what. Add to it a little at a time, like dewdrops of water from a leaflet. And you'll get there. Get where? I don't know, wherever and whatever your path is. Well for your health issues. Try breathing exercises. Maybe these words will help you, maybe not. Whatever the case, know that you are loved

[PrisonPlanet]

Well i wouldnt worry too much about addiction to food, games, and masturbation..thats probably describes half of the internet. Good luck w auto immune condition (someone in my family has rare auto immune disease) wouldnt doubt ur going through horrible time. This may sound too simplistic but (if possible) go out or do something fun..you probably deserve it.

[Bobomy]

Hey, thanks for the insight (it makes sense actually) and the recommendations. Also glad you got better. I tried meditating last summer and it was really difficult, but I guess learning anything new is supposed to be difficult. I'll get back to it. Breathing exercises make sense too, since most of my issues seem to be nervous system-related.

[Bobomy]

Well i wouldnt worry too much about addiction to food, games, and masturbation..thats probably describes half of the internet. Good luck w auto immune condition (someone in my family has rare auto immune disease) wouldnt doubt ur going through horrible time. This may sound too simplistic but (if possible) go out or do something fun..you probably deserve it. Thanks for the support!

[lenscaper]

I tried meditating last summer and it was really difficult, but I guess learning anything new is supposed to be difficult. I'll get back to it. Breathing exercises make sense too, since most of my issues seem to be nervous system-related. Hey Bobomy...... Breathing is easy....you already know how to do it. Just sit quietly and watch it happen for a while each day, even for just a minute or two. Even short mindful moments like that will start to change the way everything feels for you.

[ZenLD]

Hey, thanks for the insight (it makes sense actually) and the recommendations. Also glad you got better. I tried meditating last summer and it was really difficult, but I guess learning anything new is supposed to be difficult. I'll get back to it. Breathing exercises make sense too, since most of my issues seem to be nervous system-related. Hey, thanks for the insight (it makes sense actually) and the recommendations. Also glad you got better. I tried meditating last summer and it was really difficult, but I guess learning anything new is supposed to be difficult. I'll get back to it. Breathing exercises make sense too, since most of my issues seem to be nervous system-related. Yes YOU CAN do it! I know it can be difficult at first, but the more you do it the more amazing and breathtaking it becomes. It's why I said "do it for even 1 min, but do it every day." In truth, if you ever recall learning to play a new video game, you get a similar kind of frustration. It's just like that but only at first. I personally aimed 20 min on the first day, my god it was it hard. So the next day I did it for 5 min for a while, gradually increasing the amount. This summer... will it be 2 years now? Every. Single. Day. Sick, tired, busy, holiday party. And yes, breathing exercises are AMAZING. Before I started, my sinuses were clogged pretty every single night when I lay in bed, and I just hated going to sleep. Had trouble breathing through my nose also. But it got better after I started it though. I also had very bad stomach issues as well. Allergies gone. The technique I first learned, is pretty much identical to Tummo, tibetan inner fire method. DO NOT DO TUMMO WITHOUT A TEACHER. I started out with something similar and it gave me some of the worst pains in my life. I eventually did figure out how to do it on my own through much pain and experimentation (well maybe its not even tummo then, but still they're pretty similar) somehow but don't do it like I did no really, just no. No online tutorials explained it properly. So avoid any tummo-like breathing exercise where you hold your breath for extended periods of time, or at least hold it off initially. I'm just saying this in case you somehow end up choosing something similar as your first breathing exercise. Find a tutorial that teaches you deep breaths through the abdominal, preferably through your nose. Find one that makes you feel relaxed. Adjust it, make it your own. Then you can breathe like that during meditation. During meditation you might get distracting thoughts, then focus on the breath again. If you get some uneasy emotions, you'll notice when you control your breath... in... out... you can control your emotions... a little At times, you'll get bored. At times you'll nearly be drowned in thoughts, memories or emotions. At times you'll experience a pure blissful serenity that you've never felt before. At time you are nothingness. At times... But do it everyday. If you feel like you just want to go to bed and don't feel like it, still do it, even for 1 min. If you get stressed during work, during a game, take a minute break and do it. If you find that counting helps you focus, then do that. If you find any other techniques like visualization, or sound meditation and that makes you be in the "zone" better then do that, or the one that seems like the least pain it the butt. There are no rules. Do it standing up, do it sitting down, or walking. Do whatever works for you. But do it. It's easy. Do you really have to do it every day? Only if you want to. Do whatever you like. Take it easy. Once you're ready to face your emotions then ask your canine friend what's up. Wishing you the best, but do it if you are ready