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      Hey u recently commented on my post about what do from sleep paralysis to get to a lucid dream, what I was wondering is if I just lay there in paralysis and try to picture a dream scene in my closed eyes will it just form and Iíll pretty much spawn in. If not can u give me any other techniques or just anything, thanks
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    03-20-2019 11:18 AM
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    Recent Entries

    it's better

    by ZenLD on 12-05-2020 at 02:34 AM
    I'm going to write it while I feel like it. To strike while the iron's still hot they say. It is better. So much better. After applying what I'd written yesterday that is.

    A peculiar feeling. As I of my own did nothing, the fish came upon my bait by itself. It was sort of effortless. Well, more effortless than the previous practice.

    I did sort of a comparison between the old and a few while doing something. And the new one was just, it performed better by miles on the first try already. So I decided to do it a couple of times more and see how much I could maintain it.

    The first highest number was around 200 (~210). Which was very interesting now that I think back on it. Because I'd counted inside my dream before while lucid. And guess how far up I counted? 200. So I felt like this sort of correlated with how much lucidity I could maintain. The next peak was around 400 (~420). I tried again while doing another activity (shovelling snow) and I maintained it for the entirety of the duration plus before starting it, and after ending it. I ended up stopping at 1200 since I felt like I didn't want to overwork myself this time. But 1200! It didn't take very long to get such a huge leap of improvement.

    One weakness though, of this is that I'd need to vocalize internally or externally the number. So I'm having a tough time maintaing it as I type away these words. And another is when I may be doing mathematical calculations or something, it feels like it interrupts or overlaps with the counting of numbers. How would I overcome these weaknesses?

    (talking appears to be easier to maintain than writing)


    LDs ( 3 FA, stayed lucid)
    School, english style wooden old one
    Noticed my mother and father there
    Very vivid.. checked fingers... 5 then stared into 6 slowly, persistent dream
    - 1 in different spot of the school, near 3 chairs
    - 1 in some sort of apartment building that included roommates but they weren't present
    - 1 in bed
    Meditated 2-3 times (Didn't have a dream goal). I spun around 2 of the times

    I can't remember if I had another dream as I had to get up pretty abruptly.


    by ZenLD on 12-04-2020 at 01:33 PM
    I'm sort of coming up with a new awareness training idea. I decided to write it out so it'll I'd remember to apply the idea later on.

    The problem with my old system of rating my awareness was that I had to take pauses in between to measure my score. This sort of gave pauses in between what I did that gave more room to lose awareness.

    I noticed that during the day, about 80%, I'd find myself (automatically) regaining awareness or doing sort of what I did every 3-4 events. So It's sort of like a regaining the present awareness. There were some times where I'd lose this 3-4, where I'd become emotional or something like that. I did my best to stay aware and notice what the source of the sleeping autopilot and... It's something like attachment I guess. To emotion or things, past or future? I don't know exactly. It's like not the act of feeling it but how I react to feeling or events. It's sort of like the un-attachment that skipper was talking about probably. But I guess I'm discovering it or rediscovering it through the hard way by experience.

    So my idea for a new awareness training is to just count the number of times - well two ideas perhaps. Count the number of times I got unaware or I got aware. Use that as a score. I will have to test it out and see how it goes. But the idea of counting the number of unawareness isn't really new, it's just like the prayer beads that monks use to count the number of times they lost their mindfulness or something.

    But the other problem I had with the previous practice was that I needed something to write down my score. And it might have been not ideal, as I was anchoring this increased awareness to writing, and I can't always have time or situation to note it down.

    Is it more important to notice the surroundings or the emotions? Maybe the noticing of emotions should be - or better be described as noticing attachments?

    BUT I also need a way to break the cycle of attachments on top of that. Say, to stop the mind from wandering after getting distracted- or like simply a new default mode network or thought process to implant after noticing myself getting attached?

    One at a time? Or both at once? Perhaps cycling them would be nice. Practice one on some days and practice the other on the rest.

    Or maybe just do nothing at all - just let things unfold on it's own. And all I need to do is to just- ...be?

    School ukulele May 4 hr ish
    AP BED re outside storm vivid

    short notes

    by ZenLD on 12-01-2020 at 04:09 AM
    Don't feel like DJ but will write out notes to expand for later if that seems more interesting later.

    2020 11 28

    Zombie rounds, waypoint, redo + failed (gun doesn't work, short knife)
    Crocodile school lady chicken
    ff7 like
    Paul yugioh - message : be yourself

    -meditation sloppy

    11 29
    Triad/mafia comedy hands (stephen chow - story about a young man being mistake for a gang leader)
    Run away pedestrian roads waterfountain "karen" (hive mind)
    lucid moment (oh I"m dreaming)

    thought: awareness + feeling brings it about

    11 30

    1 lucid moment (noticing awareness)
    some dream, no note - remember now. MOm backyard, MOLES stabbed. Girl dad knife stabbed poison kidnapped. Detective POV now. (knife short again - reoccurring theme)
    2 lucid moments dream vision + something else (was awareness)

    -find your own way... be yourself.
    -wbtb alternative? (background voice?)

    behind it all

    by ZenLD on 11-28-2020 at 01:33 AM
    Where to begin and where to end? To start with recall or with my thoughts first? I don't know I'll just let my fingers do the talking and it'll all finish before I know it.



    Had brief moments of lucid today and yesterday. It wasn't interesting really. Just the same thing of myself gaining awareness before all dissipating.So I didn't really write it down yesterday. Nor the dream yesterday or the day before since it wasn't that interesting but the message it was trying to convey was rather clear though. So I should probably at leastmake a short summary and the meaning behind it today.


    right or left

    yesterday & in between day before missed dreams-
    I was inside a school. A sort of a friendly tournament. I joined the team to the right first, they didn't like the wayI wanted to do things. And the results were lackluster. But the one to the left, they embraced who I was and we did magnificently. What happened also was that they l.et me do things my way while also complimenting it withtheir expertise.

    -perhaps the message is to do what you like, but also do it in a way that's effective. Also to surround yourself with those who are supportive.


    Jack clothes
    I wasinside a house. It felt like a familiar old apartment. But it was a house, just structure was similar to an old apartment in BC. In the room to the right was Jack and we tried on clothes. His uncle arrived in the middle. Andthe last event was us playing Nintendo. Just a summary of the overall events.


    Fishing pole and Elves

    I was inside a sort of an adventure, a vr adventure gamewas what it felt like. 4-5 location segments. I was on a solo adventure, in a fantasy setting land with trees and what not. The starting point was some sort of white building for newbies. I ventured into the greenery and eventuallyfound myself a wire that connected to another land. I forget what the process is called, where you glide across a rope or wire with something... I think it starts with R? But the rope/wire from where I was is connected toanother land, most of these lands were floating. I went from land 1 to land 2. Met some old friend, they were venturing in a group. The theme of this game/atomsphere had a bit of a pokemon like feel to it. It was defeatingmonsters and sorts maybe no collecting of monsters like pokemon but something about it gave me that vibe. Maybe those monster hunter games are more accurate and related to this experience.


    I went onforawrd and ventured deeper. I slid across another one of those ropes into the third part of the lands. There were groups of people just standing, clamouring about. Since this was a new thing not much people knwe about it.And everyone was trying to figure out what the next event was. I notice a familiar group passing me. I'd gotten ehre before they did I suppose. And There was some building there. I forget now what it was.... EvenvtuallyI tarvelled south. Or it felt like south. To another land.


    This one had a mall. It looked like a strip mall on the inside as I was checking out the first floor. The game had PVP aspect to it and I wanteda weapon that was discreet. I was looking through stores and the first one was selling jackets, maybe knives. I asked the shopkeeper who was a skinny man, if he knew where I could get some discreet weapons? He directed meto a shop at the back and I proceeded to enter it. Actually it was just a kiosk. But the man recommended me an item after I'd asked for what I wanted. He just simply said fishing pole. And handed me a long fishing pole.It was a discreet weapon according to him and it could extend or you could shorten it as you liked. I forget if I bought it or not.


    I leave the shop and find a room with elevators. It looked likea lobby room of a nice hotel sort of, probably a bit bigger. I entered it and I was directed by someone there. I think it was a middle aged woman who was like a manager there. She led me to an elevator and I entered it. Ittook me to a floor way up there. I feel like it was the 45th floor or something. It was a small village by the forest. Or the very outskirts of the village. Monsters or something. The room gave me some sort of power so I coulddefeat it. And after that, I went back down. The manager below told me that each person only gets 1. It was almost like a power-up or wish granting service where each person would only get to use once.


    ButI wanted more of it. In my backpack I had an item. I knew what I wanted to do and I used it. It was like a scroll or something. But before that I was talking to someone hanging nearby. It was a young man, he also worked therebut he wasn't as strict as the manager there. But I forget what I spoke to him about, only that he was pretty chill. But I went on to become invisible and snuck past the manager. She had behind her a group of little children,looked like kindergarten. I looked and followed her a bit. It was a room beside the elevator and almost like a daycare for the kids. I looked through one of the picture books there, checked out what they were doing and left.Back toe the elevator.


    This part's unclear. But I went up again. I remember that the room I ended up in was dark and red... it was in indoor room, unlike the one before where I'd ended up inan open environment outdoors. Narrow and stuff. Demons? I think I got what I wanted and went back down to the lobby.


    I looked more closely at the people working there. I think I spoke with the man frombefore, or one of the higher ups working there. Maybe it was related to the room previous. These people were elves. Ah yes, the person I'm speaking to was an elder elf. He had white hair and a narrow beard and he was prettyskinny and short. He told me that they were running out of the source of their magic. Something like this area near this mall was once where they had a source of a spring, a source of magic that kept them the way they were.Like their life source? But with magic. They were running low on that and had to make a deal with the demons. The demons would give them, feed them magic, in exchange for the elves' labor and their permission to builda mall here. And that was likely what I saw the second time I went up the elevator.


    But I knew. My dream sense told me what was up. That the demons had artificially created a lack. They were reducingthe magic source somehow so less was coming out. Then they had made a deal with the elves after. It wasn't real. There was no lack of magic. The demons had both secured the source of the magic, and enslaved the elves.Their plan had worked.


    Lucidity Practice

    I'm getting better definitely. But the process is all so hard to explain. Actually that's just an opinion, not a fact. So just type it away and it'll make sense eventually as you sharpen your skillof pondering by the means of words.


    Overall, I'm becoming better when I practice. In exception to the one where I'm trying to do it too often. This likely tells me that overdoing things doesn'treally help. While the activity that I didn't put as much practice, I had improved dramatically. I think it had more to do with attitude. As long as you can put your all in it and do your best, that's how the bestimprovement are made. Were I to do something, simply as a chore there would be no significant improvement. Do it, and do it well. If you don't feel up to it, don't to it or just pep yourself up somehow. Eat something,meditate, or whatever. If you still don't feel up to it, that just means you need a break from it. But if you do really feel up to it, do it as much as you like.


    I've noticed. That it'seasier to... find the - use the beginning and the end. What I mean by that is to anchor awareness in the beginning of an event and it's completion. That is easier, and more reliable than to try to maintain the awarenessat all times. The beginning and end, use it as a reminder to get lucid once again. Then add to it once you reach a certain proficiency of that. Like the starting of an activity, like cooking. You aim to first get aware inthe beginning and the end. And then you improve on that by compartmentalizing each small task of peeling, cutting, cooking.. etc and try to gain awareness on the beginning and the end of each of the mini tasks. It's notthat you are trying to gain awareness; but rather they are reminder and anchors incase you lost lucidity. So you may stay aware throughout the whole of the action or not. But these things can serve as a reminder.


    Andthat got me to... think? In the case of activities that are filled with actions, or many processes you can gain increase awareness that way. But what of things you do that has not many things to do? Then it made me realize...that thoughts and feelings - postivie or negative can be a good friend in this regard.


    It reminded me of something that Mr. Yongey Rinpoche had said. He spoke of the time when he was a child andhow meditating made his anxiety disappear and eventually he missed it. But in this case I suppose every thougght and emotion I had can serve as an anchor or reminder to become lucid once more if I'm lacking physical anchors.


    Doesany of that make sense? I don't know. It makes sense to me but probably not for a lot of people. So I should use analogies or metaphors more often probably.


    But what if my thoughts and emotionsdisappear from meditating? And if my sensations become number and then what do I focus upon? Is that the meaning of - the teaching - the very idea of dream(sleep) yoga? To find out what - how you would maintain awareness insleep, or even bardo of which they speak.

    How would I, in the nothingness be lucidity I seek?


    Total DJ awakes score


    by ZenLD on 11-26-2020 at 03:40 AM
    Use not the means to gain awareness;
    for the mirror only reflects that you are.
    Seek not the things you wish to be;
    for the mirror only reflects all that it sees.

    Stay! In the awareness. Notice! This time. Notice the moment of unlucidity. Not a minute later nor an hour greater. Not even a second but only the present. Be in that moment and see. Truly be and notice its happening. And embrace it. Fully grasp that elusive force of unlucidity. The cause, the source - the cause of my remorse. Oh ghost! I boast, "I shall capture thee!" I shall see you and grasp you til my everlasting lucidity.

    Let it be done.