• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. it's better

      by , 12-05-2020 at 02:34 AM
      I'm going to write it while I feel like it. To strike while the iron's still hot they say. It is better. So much better. After applying what I'd written yesterday that is.

      A peculiar feeling. As I of my own did nothing, the fish came upon my bait by itself. It was sort of effortless. Well, more effortless than the previous practice.

      I did sort of a comparison between the old and a few while doing something. And the new one was just, it performed better by miles on the first try already. So I decided to do it a couple of times more and see how much I could maintain it.

      The first highest number was around 200 (~210). Which was very interesting now that I think back on it. Because I'd counted inside my dream before while lucid. And guess how far up I counted? 200. So I felt like this sort of correlated with how much lucidity I could maintain. The next peak was around 400 (~420). I tried again while doing another activity (shovelling snow) and I maintained it for the entirety of the duration plus before starting it, and after ending it. I ended up stopping at 1200 since I felt like I didn't want to overwork myself this time. But 1200! It didn't take very long to get such a huge leap of improvement.

      One weakness though, of this is that I'd need to vocalize internally or externally the number. So I'm having a tough time maintaing it as I type away these words. And another is when I may be doing mathematical calculations or something, it feels like it interrupts or overlaps with the counting of numbers. How would I overcome these weaknesses?

      (talking appears to be easier to maintain than writing)


      LDs ( 3 FA, stayed lucid)
      School, english style wooden old one
      Noticed my mother and father there
      Very vivid.. checked fingers... 5 then stared into 6 slowly, persistent dream
      - 1 in different spot of the school, near 3 chairs
      - 1 in some sort of apartment building that included roommates but they weren't present
      - 1 in bed
      Meditated 2-3 times (Didn't have a dream goal). I spun around 2 of the times

      I can't remember if I had another dream as I had to get up pretty abruptly.
    2. ramblings

      by , 12-04-2020 at 01:33 PM
      I'm sort of coming up with a new awareness training idea. I decided to write it out so it'll I'd remember to apply the idea later on.

      The problem with my old system of rating my awareness was that I had to take pauses in between to measure my score. This sort of gave pauses in between what I did that gave more room to lose awareness.

      I noticed that during the day, about 80%, I'd find myself (automatically) regaining awareness or doing sort of what I did every 3-4 events. So It's sort of like a regaining the present awareness. There were some times where I'd lose this 3-4, where I'd become emotional or something like that. I did my best to stay aware and notice what the source of the sleeping autopilot and... It's something like attachment I guess. To emotion or things, past or future? I don't know exactly. It's like not the act of feeling it but how I react to feeling or events. It's sort of like the un-attachment that skipper was talking about probably. But I guess I'm discovering it or rediscovering it through the hard way by experience.

      So my idea for a new awareness training is to just count the number of times - well two ideas perhaps. Count the number of times I got unaware or I got aware. Use that as a score. I will have to test it out and see how it goes. But the idea of counting the number of unawareness isn't really new, it's just like the prayer beads that monks use to count the number of times they lost their mindfulness or something.

      But the other problem I had with the previous practice was that I needed something to write down my score. And it might have been not ideal, as I was anchoring this increased awareness to writing, and I can't always have time or situation to note it down.

      Is it more important to notice the surroundings or the emotions? Maybe the noticing of emotions should be - or better be described as noticing attachments?

      BUT I also need a way to break the cycle of attachments on top of that. Say, to stop the mind from wandering after getting distracted- or like simply a new default mode network or thought process to implant after noticing myself getting attached?

      One at a time? Or both at once? Perhaps cycling them would be nice. Practice one on some days and practice the other on the rest.

      Or maybe just do nothing at all - just let things unfold on it's own. And all I need to do is to just- ...be?

      School ukulele May 4 hr ish
      AP BED re outside storm vivid
    3. short notes

      by , 12-01-2020 at 04:09 AM
      Don't feel like DJ but will write out notes to expand for later if that seems more interesting later.

      2020 11 28

      Zombie rounds, waypoint, redo + failed (gun doesn't work, short knife)
      Crocodile school lady chicken
      ff7 like
      Paul yugioh - message : be yourself

      -meditation sloppy

      11 29
      Triad/mafia comedy hands (stephen chow - story about a young man being mistake for a gang leader)
      Run away pedestrian roads waterfountain "karen" (hive mind)
      lucid moment (oh I"m dreaming)

      thought: awareness + feeling brings it about

      11 30

      1 lucid moment (noticing awareness)
      some dream, no note - remember now. MOm backyard, MOLES stabbed. Girl dad knife stabbed poison kidnapped. Detective POV now. (knife short again - reoccurring theme)
      2 lucid moments dream vision + something else (was awareness)

      -find your own way... be yourself.
      -wbtb alternative? (background voice?)
    4. behind it all

      by , 11-28-2020 at 01:33 AM
      Where to begin and where to end? To start with recall or with my thoughts first? I don't know I'll just let my fingers do the talking and it'll all finish before I know it.



      Had brief moments of lucid today and yesterday. It wasn't interesting really. Just the same thing of myself gaining awareness before all dissipating.So I didn't really write it down yesterday. Nor the dream yesterday or the day before since it wasn't that interesting but the message it was trying to convey was rather clear though. So I should probably at leastmake a short summary and the meaning behind it today.


      right or left

      yesterday & in between day before missed dreams-
      I was inside a school. A sort of a friendly tournament. I joined the team to the right first, they didn't like the wayI wanted to do things. And the results were lackluster. But the one to the left, they embraced who I was and we did magnificently. What happened also was that they l.et me do things my way while also complimenting it withtheir expertise.

      -perhaps the message is to do what you like, but also do it in a way that's effective. Also to surround yourself with those who are supportive.


      Jack clothes
      I wasinside a house. It felt like a familiar old apartment. But it was a house, just structure was similar to an old apartment in BC. In the room to the right was Jack and we tried on clothes. His uncle arrived in the middle. Andthe last event was us playing Nintendo. Just a summary of the overall events.


      Fishing pole and Elves

      I was inside a sort of an adventure, a vr adventure gamewas what it felt like. 4-5 location segments. I was on a solo adventure, in a fantasy setting land with trees and what not. The starting point was some sort of white building for newbies. I ventured into the greenery and eventuallyfound myself a wire that connected to another land. I forget what the process is called, where you glide across a rope or wire with something... I think it starts with R? But the rope/wire from where I was is connected toanother land, most of these lands were floating. I went from land 1 to land 2. Met some old friend, they were venturing in a group. The theme of this game/atomsphere had a bit of a pokemon like feel to it. It was defeatingmonsters and sorts maybe no collecting of monsters like pokemon but something about it gave me that vibe. Maybe those monster hunter games are more accurate and related to this experience.


      I went onforawrd and ventured deeper. I slid across another one of those ropes into the third part of the lands. There were groups of people just standing, clamouring about. Since this was a new thing not much people knwe about it.And everyone was trying to figure out what the next event was. I notice a familiar group passing me. I'd gotten ehre before they did I suppose. And There was some building there. I forget now what it was.... EvenvtuallyI tarvelled south. Or it felt like south. To another land.


      This one had a mall. It looked like a strip mall on the inside as I was checking out the first floor. The game had PVP aspect to it and I wanteda weapon that was discreet. I was looking through stores and the first one was selling jackets, maybe knives. I asked the shopkeeper who was a skinny man, if he knew where I could get some discreet weapons? He directed meto a shop at the back and I proceeded to enter it. Actually it was just a kiosk. But the man recommended me an item after I'd asked for what I wanted. He just simply said fishing pole. And handed me a long fishing pole.It was a discreet weapon according to him and it could extend or you could shorten it as you liked. I forget if I bought it or not.


      I leave the shop and find a room with elevators. It looked likea lobby room of a nice hotel sort of, probably a bit bigger. I entered it and I was directed by someone there. I think it was a middle aged woman who was like a manager there. She led me to an elevator and I entered it. Ittook me to a floor way up there. I feel like it was the 45th floor or something. It was a small village by the forest. Or the very outskirts of the village. Monsters or something. The room gave me some sort of power so I coulddefeat it. And after that, I went back down. The manager below told me that each person only gets 1. It was almost like a power-up or wish granting service where each person would only get to use once.


      ButI wanted more of it. In my backpack I had an item. I knew what I wanted to do and I used it. It was like a scroll or something. But before that I was talking to someone hanging nearby. It was a young man, he also worked therebut he wasn't as strict as the manager there. But I forget what I spoke to him about, only that he was pretty chill. But I went on to become invisible and snuck past the manager. She had behind her a group of little children,looked like kindergarten. I looked and followed her a bit. It was a room beside the elevator and almost like a daycare for the kids. I looked through one of the picture books there, checked out what they were doing and left.Back toe the elevator.


      This part's unclear. But I went up again. I remember that the room I ended up in was dark and red... it was in indoor room, unlike the one before where I'd ended up inan open environment outdoors. Narrow and stuff. Demons? I think I got what I wanted and went back down to the lobby.


      I looked more closely at the people working there. I think I spoke with the man frombefore, or one of the higher ups working there. Maybe it was related to the room previous. These people were elves. Ah yes, the person I'm speaking to was an elder elf. He had white hair and a narrow beard and he was prettyskinny and short. He told me that they were running out of the source of their magic. Something like this area near this mall was once where they had a source of a spring, a source of magic that kept them the way they were.Like their life source? But with magic. They were running low on that and had to make a deal with the demons. The demons would give them, feed them magic, in exchange for the elves' labor and their permission to builda mall here. And that was likely what I saw the second time I went up the elevator.


      But I knew. My dream sense told me what was up. That the demons had artificially created a lack. They were reducingthe magic source somehow so less was coming out. Then they had made a deal with the elves after. It wasn't real. There was no lack of magic. The demons had both secured the source of the magic, and enslaved the elves.Their plan had worked.


      Lucidity Practice

      I'm getting better definitely. But the process is all so hard to explain. Actually that's just an opinion, not a fact. So just type it away and it'll make sense eventually as you sharpen your skillof pondering by the means of words.


      Overall, I'm becoming better when I practice. In exception to the one where I'm trying to do it too often. This likely tells me that overdoing things doesn'treally help. While the activity that I didn't put as much practice, I had improved dramatically. I think it had more to do with attitude. As long as you can put your all in it and do your best, that's how the bestimprovement are made. Were I to do something, simply as a chore there would be no significant improvement. Do it, and do it well. If you don't feel up to it, don't to it or just pep yourself up somehow. Eat something,meditate, or whatever. If you still don't feel up to it, that just means you need a break from it. But if you do really feel up to it, do it as much as you like.


      I've noticed. That it'seasier to... find the - use the beginning and the end. What I mean by that is to anchor awareness in the beginning of an event and it's completion. That is easier, and more reliable than to try to maintain the awarenessat all times. The beginning and end, use it as a reminder to get lucid once again. Then add to it once you reach a certain proficiency of that. Like the starting of an activity, like cooking. You aim to first get aware inthe beginning and the end. And then you improve on that by compartmentalizing each small task of peeling, cutting, cooking.. etc and try to gain awareness on the beginning and the end of each of the mini tasks. It's notthat you are trying to gain awareness; but rather they are reminder and anchors incase you lost lucidity. So you may stay aware throughout the whole of the action or not. But these things can serve as a reminder.


      Andthat got me to... think? In the case of activities that are filled with actions, or many processes you can gain increase awareness that way. But what of things you do that has not many things to do? Then it made me realize...that thoughts and feelings - postivie or negative can be a good friend in this regard.


      It reminded me of something that Mr. Yongey Rinpoche had said. He spoke of the time when he was a child andhow meditating made his anxiety disappear and eventually he missed it. But in this case I suppose every thougght and emotion I had can serve as an anchor or reminder to become lucid once more if I'm lacking physical anchors.


      Doesany of that make sense? I don't know. It makes sense to me but probably not for a lot of people. So I should use analogies or metaphors more often probably.


      But what if my thoughts and emotionsdisappear from meditating? And if my sensations become number and then what do I focus upon? Is that the meaning of - the teaching - the very idea of dream(sleep) yoga? To find out what - how you would maintain awareness insleep, or even bardo of which they speak.

      How would I, in the nothingness be lucidity I seek?


      Total DJ awakes score
    5. Reminder

      by , 11-26-2020 at 03:40 AM
      Use not the means to gain awareness;
      for the mirror only reflects that you are.
      Seek not the things you wish to be;
      for the mirror only reflects all that it sees.

      Stay! In the awareness. Notice! This time. Notice the moment of unlucidity. Not a minute later nor an hour greater. Not even a second but only the present. Be in that moment and see. Truly be and notice its happening. And embrace it. Fully grasp that elusive force of unlucidity. The cause, the source - the cause of my remorse. Oh ghost! I boast, "I shall capture thee!" I shall see you and grasp you til my everlasting lucidity.

      Let it be done.
    6. subtle

      by , 11-25-2020 at 03:29 AM
      ** P.S part read if reviewing DJ**

      I originally felt sort of down. Felt like I hadn't made any progress. I decided to meditate after dwelling in that useless pit of unwelcoming feelings. And I felt better after. And feeling better made me notice more things.

      Although there didn't seem to be active awareness improvement during the practice, I noticed that I was doing them while I wasn't practicing. I had more of those moments where I'd stop myself and just notice. And it was different from times before; because this was not forced, just happened sort of semi naturally.

      So maybe the easy way to train awareness is to have short training sessions and that would just promote more passive awareness throughout the day.

      Recall and stuff

      I slept in short intervals again. Uncertain whether I'd dreamt. But I did have a moment of lucidity in a short dream fragment. It was very brief. Either I was tired, or it was a short REM period, or something else. What I do recall was that I was outside, and I was going through these same thought process I used during my current practice. To remember, then become present. Then I thought "dream?"

      One question I have is that whether this lucidity is actually caused by the awareness training; or would it have happened either way? Because I'd probably have gotten lucid without doing anything at all anyways. And I suppose that was the cause of my woes - whether if any of this is futile; and would lucidity have happened naturally anyways?

      Presently, I'd say the "gaining of awareness" process is only partially complete. It has an aspect of "remembering" and getting "present" perhaps it lacks "intent." Intent to actually lucid dream or a dream goal. But perhaps it is fine. To take it slow. I feel like it's all coming together nicely.

      NOTE TO SELF though: That last bit of resistance, just push through. Whenever there's that negative feeling, a persisting negative feeling - MEDITATE. Get to the core of it. Face it. Instead of distracting yourself, just face it. It doesn't take long - and everything becomes so easy after.

      Oh yeah one more thing is don't worry too much about the results right away. The results will come according to their own appointed hour. You're practicing it actively and it's beginning to show up into passive habits. You only need it to sink a little deeper into the subconscious habits for consistent results to show up.


      -complete the awareness technique
      -oh yeah remember try cutting awareness into smaller pieces for more effectiveness
      -have a meaningful dream goal or remember it
      **master non-attachment

      awareness score:
      27/90 = 30%!

      ** P.S. quick note, negative feelings (or event, circumstances) make me more unaware, awake or dreaming. The last few- EVERY time I lost consecutive days of lucid were exactly that; from negative feelings. It makes me blind and lose focus. So don't worry about getting lucid results right away. First get good at this "resolving" process. Because if you were to blindly aim for quick lucidity, you'd once again get distracted by something. This is the step 2. Master this step 2 so that next time you get past step 1, you'll have a smooth sailing - is it called NON-ATTACHMENT?**

      Updated 11-25-2020 at 03:40 AM by 96162

    7. Week's Review

      by , 11-24-2020 at 03:15 AM
      After briefly looking over this week's DJ's what have I learned? What have I noticed?

      DJ optimization

      I noticed that my recall is pretty good. As long as I can make sense of the short notes, usually about 3 words, I can expand the dream a lot from it. The problem arises when I can't read the note upon reading it later during the day. So a way to fix this could be to just take 1 minute to rewrite them in a very neat manner.


      Another thing I could do is to just have a short summary of the dreams at the end of the day if the dreams were particularly interesting. I noticed that I could recall paragraphs and paragraphs of info from just a sentence or two from days ago. And maybe once every week or a couple of days I can expand on them or review the dreams like I did on the days where I didn't have dreams the past week.

      Awareness technique review

      The awareness score that I'm giving myself is in the right direction. But something seems off about it. The idea is right, but the execution isn't perfect. How would I improve it? I feel like the problem is that it doesn't feel personalized enough: I'm getting the awareness feedback from the numbers, but it doesn't fully engage my emotions. Perhaps it doesn't have to be emotions, but just a sensation or feeling. A way to engage more of the brain....


      In a way it's like when you're trying to remember a word - like a shoe. If you'd imagine a pink elephant wearing a shoe, that engrains it harder into your mind right? In a sense I need something similar to that. Like an anchor? A way to really engrave the awareness into the brain.


      One more thing is that I'm probably trying too hard. When I'm feeling exhausted, I should just take a break. This applies to all things.



      My dreams were in 3 segments. Each part was related to one another. I'll just write a brief summary of it since it doesn't feel that exciting at the moment. But I'll try to write down the key parts if I want to expand it on a later date.


      Part 1

      W city. I was a middle eastern man. Going to M city. I was in an apartment, a sort of party going on. Looking for excuse to leave. Go home or go back to W city.


      part 2

      I was a young man, an explorer. Caught by a group of people. Our group doing our best to escape from them. Middle eastern feel of our captors.


      part 3

      It was a similar situation or location. But this time is was a warring theme. I was princess of country sitting beside my brother on couch. Facing the king of barbarian. We were surrounded by his men. Go out and try to make peace. 2 factions fighting.


      14/90 - 15%
    8. one with trump and MMA

      by , 11-23-2020 at 03:39 AM
      I almost forgot to do my DJ today. Good thing I remembered!


      What is my goal for lucid dreaming? Why am I doing this? I wanted to explore and learn and create a world and more. To know and to be the knower and to see things impossible to the physical eyes. And more? But what would summarize all those things? What is the shorted possible words to describe all that? That would be the mantra. How would I describe it from the viewpoint of having experienced it all?



      My lucidity appears pretty constant to before. I am not sure if taking the break yesterday was a good thing or not. It was good but I felt like half the day was enough maybe. But it was good though to take a break from forced awareness.


      When I practiced the awareness rating thing today, or over the past numberous times in general, I've noticed something different each time I've reached a specific threshold of awareness. Not during meditation but during an activity, if I noticed that I've reached around 5 there were some clear distinct symptoms of reaching that state. These were some of them:

      -clarity of thought
      -focus (slightly different term would work better but what?)
      -clearer vision

      I've had them prior to doin this, but it feels like I'm triangulating the exact formula for it.


      So a goal I could have... or goals. Is to first reach this state proactively, at will. Then the second would be to reach it without effort on my part.




      I was inside of hgihschool on the western halls of it. There was a group of us, about 8 or so. And we were taken hostage by some men in black under the command of Donald Trump. We were taken to some secluded secret place and held there for a while. After some time had passed he decided to release us. We were on the back of a van and were released by a road. Thr road looked familiar and similar to mix of the road back in the Japanese elementry highschool and the one in highschool. We were dropped midway between the school and home area. There weren't any houses around though, just the desolate empty nature beside the roads. They left us there for us to fend for ourselves. It was winter and cold, trying to forage foods. Little steps at a time. We formed a group but there were two factions of us. Group 1 being those who wanted to stay put and group 2, which included me, wanted to go on forward. My cellphone didn't have any batteries.


      I decided to go on by myself. I walked about a kilometer away and saw a sort of small residence building area. DT came out of the van and he looked different. He used some sort of advanced technology to make himself younger. He looked leaner, tanner and a little different. To hide away from his scandal. His hair looked different, they were more amber and had a strawberry blonde look to it instead of his usual hair. His skin was sort of like red clay. And he went on to hide, no one would be able to find him.


      I kept threading forward. Was it just me? Or I feel like there were 2 or 3 of us. We found a large building. It looked like a science facility but the inside was a gym. They had a sort of a an MMA gym going on and I decided to join them. I fought on the ring and I think the first opponent was a childhood friend. I beat him and I went on forward. The second notable opponent was an arrogant man. And it finally ended with the ex-champion. I barely managed to defeat him and to the right was the currewnt champion. He was a nice man and gave me some tips. He told me that instead of striking forward into him, I should take a step back and throw a hook for a nice counter. I leave the gym from the exit on the other side and I walk towards home. Oh yeah apparently this was the good ending.


      The gym part sort of replays. This version was the bad ending. At the beginning of it I was forced to fight my friend, but this was more like a fight to the death. We were fighting atop a high platform and the floor was made of steel. How do I describe it? Those honeycomb like pattern where the middle was empty that's how the floor was like. My friend was pushed back and his hand was grabbing onto the edge of the platform. I hesitated for a moment but I pushed his fingers away with my feet.


      It was the same fights but at the end when I was fighting the ex-champ, I grabbed hold of him in a choke. The fist time I won with a punch but this time the choke sort of went badly. It was third person view now and the protagonist was no longer me. I saw a man choking out and ex-champ and the ex's head was ripped off. And The dream scene changes to one where our protagonist, the older man, waking up from a knockout to the head. He just recalled this fearful scene and lost all his will to fight. And his body instantly flabbed and had no will to fight

      I FAed. In the scene before, the part where we were grouped outside. I laid by the group and beside me was a tall slender woman. She had long blonde hair and very heavy makeup - the mascara. I was writing my DJ of the previous dream about the DT and I was telling her about it. She was quite interested in it. She fell back asleep and I went back to writing.

      I remember the first dream of the night. I was seeing off my friend Wolf. He was going to move away to the faraway lands of his home soon. He was going to leave in a couple of days and we were just spending time together. We were playing on a VR headset and he had the idea or was it me? To get a VR headset for blackfriday for him. We were on a highrise apartment. About the 9th floor or that's how tall it looked like when I looked out from the veranda to the street below. We went to the mall after or something.

      -thought about black friday influenced this dream I think


      Total DJ awareness score
    9. laid back dj

      by , 11-22-2020 at 01:30 AM
      Goals/Lucidity/self analysis
      Just gonna be a laid back DJ. I noticed plateau in terms of my awareness training. It's peaking at 33% and 20% for the 2 activities I've been practicing it on. It's still very good progress nonetheless. Hard exhaustion. I was so dead tired I didn't want to do anything. It's working though. It took me to the edge of my limit. But I need a break. I know I need to give my mind a break otherwise I'd be doing it a disservice and also it needs times to process and grow the new neural pathways to make this whole process more efficient. So I'll skip the awareness scoring thing for today.

      My goal is to rest up and if I'm 100% tomorrow again, I'll get right back on track. To get to 40% and 30% awareness on the activities I have been working on.

      I also had a day dream, a passing thought about writing a sort of a story. Since I'm just typing away large amounts of texts and I seem to be enjoying it, why not try writing a sort of a story? A fiction but it would contain bits of techniques that could be used to learn lucid dreaming. It may not be about lucid dreaming but it could be a fun way to expose myself to lucid dreaming. And I could also reshape bits of my dream and turn it into a plot. Reshaping dream objects in my mind, sort of like a dream control training Just an idea though.

      Breaking Bar

      I was inside a small bar. I'm recalling why I was there. I was trying to take over this bar in a way, sort of like a villian in this specific dream episode. I was one of the patrons there, or disguised as one. The bar was made of mostly wood, so it looked sort of like a wooden cabin but extremely large. Perhaps 10000-20000sq ft overall. On one side of the bar was a really nice pool as well. That reminds me, perhaps I've been in this bar before. It feels sort of familiar, it may be the one that I dreamt of before with the one with the dying monk and him transferring his energy to me before dying.

      But back to where I am, there were many patrons there and I was busy scheming of a way to make the patrons fight eachother so that I could take it over. I believe that this was influenced by a specific video game. I was curious so watched a brief youtube video of it, and it was basically this theme. A sort of a demon trying to take over a village, and he did so by using his magic to cause internal strife and also taking it over with sheer force is possible. So that's basically the theme of it or atleast of what I recall of the theme of the dream was based upon.

      I was a youth patron but I had trouble making anything happen. But I came across an old man, who looked like Mike from Breaking Bad. He was an old time customer or maybe he was the manager here. What I feel is that he aws like a manager or he kept the storage... he was responsible for the storage. I saw him walk under into the basement floor and check out what was left in the storehouse. I took over his body and now I was Mike in first person. I forget how but I fell on my nose and people around me were worried. I kept going with my plans and my memory is sort of foggy now.

      Recalling scribbles: quest, lactation/location, blood
      poison/prison research work/monk

      I was inside a mall and there were many TV screens hanged up in front of me. There was a tournament for a game. I did not feel like participating but one of the teams invited me to join them to fill their team. An and NT. There was soem time before it was going to start, about 30-50 minutes. So they left the room to browse around the mall. I followed them. As we were walking over the kiosks and checking out snacks, I think An comes onto me. He was just rubbing my butt and really reaching down there for some time. But he stopped after a bit.

      We checked out another store. I think it was like a sunglasses store? I had some glasses on and noticed that my vision was better without glasses on. There were about 3 pairs of glasses that I tried and stacked and things.

      So we headed back towards the tournament room but I think we were too late and it already started.
    10. running out of titles

      by , 11-20-2020 at 11:51 PM

      Keep doing what I'm doing right now. With the awareness score thing. It's really working out well. Perhaps try to consistently reach over 40-50% awareness.



      The first thing I noticed when I was doing the awareness rating, outside of doing it on DJ of course, is that it's really similar to keeping lucidity inside a dream. Forgetting, then getting it back, forgetting then getting it back, then maintaining it then doing it for longer.


      I've created a sort of a constant rating that I'd give myself moment to moment. It's still getting refined but the idea is working very well for me. It may be similar to other people's own unique take on all day awareness or self awareness or whatever they call it. For now it's something like this

      1 - just got lucid, aware after forgetting
      2 - forgot that you were lucid but you got it back
      3 - repeated 2 couple of times and it's more constant
      4 - more of 3, it's chunked together and majority 50%+ of the duration is lucid
      5 - aware in all or almost entirety - but it lacks control or emotional aspect
      6 - shallow control, identifying emotional aspect while maintaining 5, perhaps you call it mindfulness
      7 - identifying the source of emotion that keeps you from full awareness
      8 - releasing or sort of imploding, or evolving... by simply noticing it and giving it time to resolve it self
      9 - sense of joy and awareness
      10 -


      So I feel that this may apply to lucid dreaming as well. With the initial stage 1 being the act of getting lucid. 2 would be the part where you learn to get it more constantly. 3 would be getting either better at DEILDs, or just maintaining the lucidity for longer and so on. 5 is where you'd know you're dreaming, and the dream's clear and stable and so on... but you simply lack control. That's what I mean by lack of emotional aspect of it. Since the dream control is affected by emotions, if the emotion is unstable, the manifestations are unstable. 6 is shallow control. It's where you might have control over your dream and you are lucid, but you get trouble doing the goals you really wanted to achieve; it's only the shallow momentary self satisfactions (ie. dream sex). And so on. Perhaps the my ideal, or the ideal lucid dreams that people really want to have is actually achieved at somewhere around 8.



      I had a sort of aha moment upon awakening. There was no dream but it gave me some sort of insight. It was like the idea of... message or meaning of buddha? I think it's just residue of just doing the practice of staying away during activities and it really struck some kind of chord within me...


      It's the remembering, forgetting, maintaining awareness. The process of it. It's... I can't even fully describe it now. It's a cycle, a cycle of up and down. You gain awareness, you lose awareness. You gain deeper understanding, yet you face more challenges. You face attachment, you lose attachment. You forget and you remember. The wheel, or karma, or the struggle of cycle of discord and success. To become aware of it, and to free yourself from it, Buddha? But I'm getting off tangent here.



      I got lucid several times in a dream. It was somewhere outside and quite a bright and dry place like dessert but not that dry. More like the backyard but a drier version of that. I remember being there with someone else. And during the entirety of this dream, I was practicing what I'd done earlier in the day. Of remembering to be lucid and staying lucid. I didn't do anything else really. I awoke tired and didn't bother DJing it. So this is all I can remember.

      I was inside a house, on the firs floor. It was very dim inside and I found my mother inside one of the smaller room that was on the second floor I think. She talked about wanting to have another child and I was mad by this for some reason and protested against it.


      I FA or leave the house and I am in a business highrise. It was about 10 story tall glass building, slightly taller than it is wide. I was riding up the elevator on the left side and walking down to the right. I saw one punch man there. Foggy at the moment... recalling... There were about 4 events here. I recall one right now. There was a girl there who I suppose was the villain of the story, I forget even what she was doing now. I became chaseed by something likea monster and ran towards the direction I was in. And eventually I ended up at the exit on the second floor. There was a girl there and OP man. The girl was the one causing trouble to everyone and she looked like a teen or tween, but her actual age was more like 5. Perhaps this was because she wasn't human. He punched her face multiple times and her face scarred and formed weird things but she was alright mostly. People seeing this noticed she might have been the villian and began to attack her too.

      -I'd say recall is about 4/10. I should also rate my recall at the end nice idea!

      I was inside a school. Bright atmosphere mostly white colored floor and walls, lockers and etc. It was a school of magic now that I recall it. More moderny feel where the students were dressed more normal. It was either me in this story or I saw it through the eyes of a girl who was our protagonist. I'll just call her Mia for the sake of convenience. Walking down the hall, first day of the school. From the left wing of the entrance of the school and walking straight to the back of the school to find my locker. The lockers were strange. It wasn't like the ones you'd find anywhere. They were transparent and you could see the inside. I suppose half of them weren't even lockers. Half it were just public resources that you can just take out and use for yourself. A sort of a open library or cache of items that had magical properties imbued within them.


      I'm recalling more now. It was around the 5th row to the back of these invisible lockers. Actually invisible rather than transparent. They were just stuff hanging on the wall but not actually hanging. Walking down the locker to the right, there's some chaotic event going on. Stuff are going missing. And they're looking at me...


      Gotta cut it short now... Girl at the very end, villian behind all this. A guy with some morphing ability, fight. Re-run of the dream. With events playing differently.


      Overall DJ awareness score

      20.90 %
    11. Break today

      by , 11-20-2020 at 01:47 AM
      Going to take a break from DJ today. Just overall very tired and sleepy. I think I may have caught a cold yesterday or the day before. Giving myself a rest is part of the training. I'm going to love myself and my body by giving it proper rest.

    12. Keep it simple

      by , 11-19-2020 at 12:54 AM

      Goals first today. Because I noticed I lacked a clear goal each time I DJ. To have a clear purpose for each and every DJ session would be wonderful. Rather than just having goals for dream goals, or goals for awareness. I decided I wanted a way to test my lucidity. Not just in dreams. Because how could I realistically train and test it while I am dreaming and not lucid? I can only review my lucidity upon awakening. So instead I want to use my DJ as a part of a training, or a test. A way to measure how lucid I can stray while DJ. Because I noticed I lost lucidity during it and it's an activity that may put you in touch with your thoughts and feelings and really place them into a physical medium long term. I could feel a feeling or a thought and notice it on my body, but that sensation could disappear in mere moments. So this will be a test. A way to gauge myself, as well as all the other benefits of a DJ.


      I decided that for each paragraph, or at the end of it I would give myself a score. Between 1 and 10, I would rate how aware I could stay while typing away my thoughts and feelings and recall of dreams. At the end of the DJ, I would tally them up and give myself a final score. This would be a great way to measure and practice my lucidity and learning to stay aware while typing away at non-DJ stuff too.


      This would be sort of like the thought I had yesterday, a continuation of it. The analogy of how I said learning a song, syllable by syllable. In that specific example you'd need a way to record yourself and this specific thing I will do would serve as a way to record my progress. Just a metaphor.


      Do I have other goals? Yes but first, I want to perfect my art of awareness. The ability to stay aware. Not only in gaining it during meditation, but to get aware one activity at a time. So instead of "doing" things to get lucid. Like meditating or doing reality check to induce a state of lucidity. The goal here would be to bring lucidity to whatever activity I do.


      So what other goals, or things do I want to experiment after I compete this one?

      I want to experiment more with WBTB - or polyphasic - separation of sleep segments. Because I noticed today, and with several days ago that I felt really bad. Tired and my body ached when I slept more than 7 hours in one single segment. Overall bodily discomfort. So the solution would be to divide them in shorter segments like with WBTB and it would give better rest and better lucids as a bonus. Another key aspect of this is figuring out what the perfect mount of sleep segment duration would be for me. Is it 3 hours or 5 hours or maybe 90 minutes? I want to experiment on it so badly, but I need to try it one at a time. I need to do this current awareness practice to my satisfaction so I don't overload myself. Also remember that there's also the number, or frequency of sleep cycles and the bst times that makes you most refreshed.


      I can't think of or remember other goals at the moment so I'll skip it for now.


      I noticed yesterday that the activities that I was more unaware - or the 3 of them that I was most unaware of them in were:

      Learning something new
      Talking to someone

      So as a result I decided to work on the first one. I noticed that I'm improving @ keeping awareness when talking to someone, not perfect but it's getting better. But what would be the best way to maintain awareness during the process of learning?


      Maybe this would be something I could keep on the back of my head. Ask yourself what would be a good way to maintain it. How would you maintain awareness during the process of learning? Maybe by counting?


      I also noticed that during my meditation last night before bed, I saw just images playing around behind my eyelids. They were very vivid, as if I was watching a TV show. The images I saw were similar to old school disney cartoons but the characters were different. They were so smooth, smooth animations playing before me and I noticed them popping up as I noticed my awareness. Catching it and getting lost. I also noticed that I could easily control the images and manipulate them. I could change them if I willed and edit it. I could clear it and instead summon something else into my vision if I wanted. At the later bits it was more chaotic and the scenes were less and less... understandable? It was just things happening, morphing it was like... it implied to me that it was hell? Or was it heaven from a different perspective? Instant manifestation of thoughts.


      If one was to have all their wishes come true instantly, would that be heaven? Or would that be hell? Perhaps it depends on the stability and ability of one's own control of their mind. If you knew what you were doing, it would b heaven. But if your mind was chaotic it would be hell. Then would the world that we live in, be heaven since there is delay in change?


      Much like when having a lucid dream. The most realistic and vivid lucid dreams. If we didn't have control over it and all of our fears manifested instantly. Lucid nightmares - would that be horrible? Or would it be an opportunity to face our fears if we were strong enough?



      Had dreams today. I'm going to do my best to recall them without looking at my jotted notes of them.


      I'll start with the very last one. It was about an Indian Guru in India. He kind of looked like Sadhguru. It was ourdoors on a dry field and he was holding a sort of lecture for others. And he was showcasing a large reusable whiteboard where the ink was permanent, until it was heated. He grabbed a hold of a very large hose. About the size of his waist. From it flowed hot air and that erased the large red ink on the board, that sort of looked like a calender with the red ink marking bits of the calender. But this hose was a glorified hairdryer basically and he erased the ink by blwoing hot air on it.

      - I think the reason I dreamt this part was because I watched some of hite speech recently. And the ink stuff was becaus I thought I wanted more notepads or a better way to write things down right as I wake up. So I did buy one of these disappearing ink stuff before and the thought I had about saving paper lead to it at that time.


      During his hosing down the red ink, one of the students there, an indian man with glasses and a gelled up hair. We'll call him Anand. He went to grab the hose to help the guru erase the board. I was watching this at the back, maybe as an observer or a participant. During this we learn a bit more about our guru. He attended some US school during his 20s and did some big project in the States. Something about 10 million, and he was robbed of part of it and came back to India and that was one of his stories.


      As he went on, my vision changed. I was in that very school or business building he was in the past. I remember him saying he had some sort of secret research documentation and it was stolen. I walked down the

      I'm just gonna stop my DJ here today. It's only maybe 1/5th of the thing but I should take a break and not overdo it, heeding the advice of someone very wise.


      Total DJ Lucidity Score

      40/140 = 28.57%

      Get better!

      Updated 11-20-2020 at 01:45 AM by 96162

    13. mostly monologue

      by , 11-18-2020 at 03:03 AM
      no dreams
      further questions

      Pretty tired. Probably typos, probably lots of things I've missed. Probably even ideas that I'm not conveying properly, or it may even offensive for some reason to some people but it's just a typo or miscommunication; I hope you with your glowing heart of gold can understand my linguistic shortcomings with sleep totaling less than 8 hours in the past 3 days and with English being my third language. You don't have to read it you know? You really don't if you dislike me, or the way I write. But we're all just doing our best to get better at lucid dreaming aren't we? Can't we all just be friends? Allies and compadres working towards our each individual goals? I don't know why. Some people get mad, just because of the way I write. Is it just the excess use of commas or something?
      Maybe I'm asking too much. I'm sorry if I am. I love you, and thanks for giving the time of your day to read my thoughts, my struggles, and realization of my lucidity.

      I slept much like the previous 2 days. I planned to do a WBTB after 5 hours of sleep since I didn't do WBTB (intentionally) for a couple of days now. I set the alarm but I awoke probably after about 3 hours or so. I wanted to go back to sleep but I noticed. I noticed that I was having that laziness of becoming unaware. So I fought that urge. Not exactly sure how long. Maybe 5-20 min. So I decided to get up. Might as well get a glass of water and become aware, then go back to bed. I proceeded to grab water, then went back. When I came back I wanted to meditate a little to refresh my mind. Did it my legs felt a bit numb and I let go of tension and attachment. Not much tension but more attachment. I went back to bed to sleep. But I had thoughts. I was thoughts about what I'd written the previous day. About “how would I do it?” I thought to my self how would I do things differently. I also had a tiny thought that maybe I would just get no dreams again tonight. Some thoughts came up. I was trying to sleep but I just decided to write them down. I really believed they were good ideas. Because something felt like it clicked in me. I just jotted a bit and went back to bed. I laid there and the wbtb alarm went off. I really didn't feel sleepy so I thought I might as well complete my ideas and so I did that. I thought that this was more important. More important than just ensuring a lucid dream today. Because thinking as the version of me that's super at lucid dreaming, would I care if I missed one? I wouldn't right? If I had a great idea that made me better at it long term, I'd totally go for that. And besides, if I took a short nap or two later on, I'd have a pretty good chance to get lucid anyways right?

      In the end I didn't go back to bed, didn't really feel that sleepy. Maybe it's because I'm getting better at meditation. No dreams. And I never, almost never have such little dreams. Except for before on two different cases:
      1 if I meditated too hard the day before or
      2 if I was trying out a polyphasic (like multiple wbtb) schedule with 2 hour sleep total a day.
      I guess #1 did happen
      I feel like this thought is beginning to trail for too long. I'll try to wrap it up.

      Could try to recall a dream from few days ago again. Maybe just 1 since I'm a little tired.

      Dream from few days ago:
      I was on the second floor of a hotel building. Maybe it's like a motel. Somewhere in between. Could be like a hotel/condo/apartment/motel. But let's just say it was a hotel. It had 2 floors and the whole building was rectangular and the middle of it was hollow with a garden of ornamental plants and grass. So imagine a wall build around a garden, but the area that would be a the wall, the inside parts of it would be where the doors to the rooms were. Styled like tropical asian country sort of feel. The plants were tropical. The top floor had ledge around it that you could look at the garden by looking over it. I looked down at the garden form the entrance of my room which was at the very end of the building. The first floor was reserved for VIP for some reason. I think it was because it had the garden.

      Looking down, I began to see gators, many alligators just chomp plants there for some reason. One of the plants were unknown and the dream told me that, or it asserted non-verbally to me, that the plants sort of mind controlled the alligators. It was a short shrub around the height of my wrist and hand, not as wide. About the wrist length wide. It was light green and very leafy, looked very soft. It was then that I noticed that the residents of the first floor were also sort of mesmerized by these plants. It was like they were mind controlled by them. Couple of us went down there to drive them away, but it wasn't easy. There were so many of them and the grassheads (people that were controlled by the plant), were just resisting us in a very united manner. Fought our way through, I'm not sure how. Memory foggy here. I know stuff happened just this part is unclear now.
      But I ended up near the room right under mine, or the one next door to mine. We were huddled up in a sorft of a corner that was near the room like this “ [: “ where the colon would be about the 4-6 of us with a bit of a deeper caved in area for us to huddle.
      To my immediate left was Samuel Jackson there. He was telling me something important. Telling me something in the tone of “Be what you want to be” or “go for what you want”, something like that. But I told him “but I failed, and failed so many times... I wasn't sure if I could do it.” He just looked at me in silence. I began crying. His eyes. They said they believed in me. His strong piercing eyes – he didn't need to say a thing to tell me exactly what he wanted to say. He gave me time to let it sink in. He gave me time so that I could release, to let my emotions out.

      I woke up feeling really released.

      *Thoughts I had after wbtb, I feel like it's related to lucidity.

      Maybe what I wrote is too long. I'll shorten it to get the basic idea of it down here.
      If I was lucid dreaming at the highest level, how would I deal with non-lucidity? Instead of looking at what I did right to get lucid, I'd look at what I did wrong. Assuming that I'd be pretty much always lucid, then the cause of unawareness would be easy to identify. Maybe Something in that dream made me unaware. And if it's related to a specific object or a person, then I could identify that and improve on that. But what if I didn't have dreams to recall of today or could not find the answer in the dreams? I'd look at the day's event before and check at what moment I was more unaware and try to improve on that. Focus on that one thing, perhaps a specific task or when conversing with a specific person or something like that. Then I'd single mindedly improve only one that thing until I perfect it. Instead of trying to get everything, I'd focus on only one. Yet on that one thing I'd practice it over and over till perfection.
      For instance, if I wanted to learn a new song, I'd learn it syllable by syllable, each word and letter and sound. Work on one tiny spot at a time. And it wouldn't take very long to reach that specific perfection – my own perfection that I seek. But If I were to try to sing all of the song at once, and just repeat it over and over and over again. I'd never improve. While former may take only a day, the latter, I could take weeks and months and it could still suck then, progress might just plateau just because I'd be so bored of listening to that same darn song so many time over and over again.
      And isn't that the same with All Day Awareness? Trying to do it all, all of it perfectly at once? Wouldn't it be the same? ADA could be achieved in very short time. But without a plan it wouldn't make a dent on progress.
      And maybe that's “how” hukif did what he did. Because from what I've read of his statements on how he achieved what he did, it would mirror what I've just written. Maybe if he was to read this, maybe he could answer it since I can only guess. But I recall him saying, he was pretty lazy with his GRC and just practiced when he felt like it. But he practiced just that one thing. He didn't try to do it all day long. He just focused on that tiny piece of thing until he reached his own perfection.

      But on second thought, no , that probably isn't the same thing. Because it's easy to just learn a song from someone else because you have something to reference. But this is more like writing your own song from scratch. You not only have to have inspirations, but also so many more things. It take time. Emulating another might work though, if we had a way to know exactly how someone who's really good at ADA or lucid dreaming go about their thought process in a very thorough detail. Obviously you can't go about recording their dream experience or their though process in real time, so instead perhaps their day to day thought process. For instance, if we were able to have a record of say, someone who's mastered the stuff, their entire thought process for the day, or maybe even them having a go pro, let's say for one day if they were to commentate their whole day as they go through. It'd be like this:

      LD'er: “Oh, we just walked by a tree didn't we? I was thinking... blah blah blah and I decided to reality check here because, blahb blah blah... and that's why I know I'm not dreaming”
      It'd be kind of like a stream of just regular “life of LD'er”
      or like a hourly report of their thought processes.
      It's probably asking for too much but an interesting idea nonetheless. I wouldn't mind paying to watch that though honestly.

      Follow my own advice from earlier statements. Find that one thing. Or actually ask yourself what that one thing you should focus on becoming aware of is. And don't rush. Just take your sweet declicious time to decide what you want to focus on. Because I always rushed to try to improve something. Without really feeling it, thinking it through. If it takes a day to figure it out then so be it. And if a week that's fine too. Take however much time you want.
      It'd be like just painting the walls without really having a plan or a vision. I could paint every color I find and it would look horrible. It would take a while go through each color by trial and error. when I could have just imagined how it would look like in my head, or even just photo shop the color on.

      Again, just take some time and ask yourself how you'd do it.

      **STICK with what you're doing though. I think it's working. It doesn't matter if last few days resulted in no dreams. It doesn't matter. You can always go back to what you were doing before and go back to your regular mediocre amounts of lucidity. But follow through this thing you're doing until the 23rd. I can't explain it. It's like within me, something is just telling me that it's working. I'm not getting any negative feelings or thoughts like "this isn't working" from this. That none of these temporary shortcoming actually mean anything. Am I actually doing exactly the right thing? You'll succeed, and even if you fail, you learn something and only get better.

      So what's left there to say? Stop thinking. Do that which you do in full confidence, ease and grace in your own divine perfection.
    14. How would I?

      by , 11-17-2020 at 12:18 AM
      new format
      excessive->laziest way

      I was thinking maybe a new format of DJing could be better. Categorizing them by a past/present/future or recall/lucidity/goal format. This way the past/recall part would be recalling dreams, the lucidity/present part would be the parts that analyzes times if I stayed present, and reasonings as to why I didn't get lucid sort of thing. And the Future/Goal would be the parts where I would put down dream goals I have or things I want to improve. I was thinking this might work better maybe.

      I'm doing it because I feel like I lack goals in lucid dreaming overall and this might help. I'll experiment a little and see how it goes.

      dream: I remember in some sort of office building and there were about 3-4 people there. I remembered more right when I woke up in the middle of the night but I didn't write it down.

      It's funny because my recall is worse the 2 days since I started writing more in detail. You could chalk it up to the less sleep from last night but I can't really go around blaming that. I suppose I'll try to go in more details about the dreams I had a few days ago just to get some exercise on that recall part of my brain.

      I remember being in a bedroom I haven't been in before. It was smal and dark and I was facing North? There was a small bed there, not sure if it's twin or single but I think ti was a twim size. It was dark since it was in the afternoon, a sort of sunset lit up through the tiny creaks from the dark brown curtains. I'm just looking forward. I look back at the door to the left and then I immediately feel a sort of wetness. I feel a hand rubbing some kind of oil or lubrication on me. It was like a massage or a prelude to a massage. It felt kind of nice and I wondered who was doing this. So I decided to look behind me and it was the grandma next door. Interesting.

      -I think I saw the next door grandma outside doing yard work few days ago. That might be the source of this dream.

      Dreams from a few days ago
      It was a young brother and sister duo. They were transported to another world. I forgot who I was but I saw through their eyes. The ground was made of dirt and there were some folks around dressed in sorto f clothing you find in fatansy stories in villages. It was In like an outskirt of the town without and buildings and whatnot. I wasn't sure why we were transported here but some of our belongings or keepsakes. Like little stuff or accessories we had gained some sort of unique magical abilities. People wanted it and they fought over it. With swords and spears. It was like medieval style dull steel armors and bits of leather, a rounded skullcap. We ran. We ran away and tried to find one of our belongings. Iforget what it was but it was something like an earring- an accessory of sorts. This particular artifact had the power to likely transport us back to our regular world and we wre looking for it.

      We entered a dark abandoned looking building. It was some sort of a hideout of this group. With an evil sorcerer as the leader who kept our artifact. He was an old man, with a bald head and wore some dark colored robe with some kind of staff. I can't remember exactly how the staff looked like but the bottom part was wood. He sent the soldier after us and we ran past them in the narrow corridors until we got to the sorcerer. I'm pretty sure there was some sort of magic going on. The sister cast some sort of magic that shook the people around us and we grabbed our artifact and we got back. I think it was maybe a stuffed rabbit. A keychain stuff rabbit.

      Oh I remember just now that, after they went back home, they were on some kind of a tour bus for field trip or something like that.

      A boy and a girl again. Third person? This took place inside a school. Looked like a middle school in Japan. The two were friends and I they were trying to decide on what club to take starting their freshman year. They left their homeroom and headed to their left, my right, east? To the ends of one side of the school. I think it was on the third floor and they ended up in a smaller classroom about the half the size of their homeroom. It was like a book club room. A sort of a manga club? But that was just a facade they put up. They were a secret martial arts occult training club and the boy... I should give them a name just so it's easier to type. The boy we'll call him Shou, and her Sakura. I'll give them Japanese names since it appears fitting for this location.

      So Shou was pretty excited about this and wanted to join. Maybe this was an occult club or something. I forget. But he was pretty stoked and ended up shooting like a energy blast from his hand after following the instructions in the texts disguised within the books. Now Sakura wasn't interested at all, and she wanted to leave. But Shou wanted her to try it out too and she was pressured into it. While His energy blast was some kind of yellow ball, the size of his fist, hers was a magnificent beam that was much more powerful. She was just a genius at this.

      A bunch of stuff happens. You know. Some evil group wanting to take over the world sort of thing. And she ended up saving the world. It was some great evil like a demon that led a group of followers that had similar powers.

      Anywho our club member and our protagonists end up saving the world. I remmber the ending scene was also a classroom. I think it was sort of cut in half so you could see the outside. But the last episode of this story took place in their homeroom I think. The world was saved, the end.

      Only time rewinds. Shou gets sent back in time. Or goes back in time? We're back at the beginning of the story, right before all this happens. They still go to the club, but this time he wanted to be the main hero instead, he just wasn't satisfied that Sakura and not he was the main source of power that saved the world. He tried harder this time. I recall a scene where he fought one of these energy users. Maybe we'll call them spirit users. The spirit user had a sort of book open and he floated. He was some sort of summoner or necromancer. This was in the middle of the city at a night time. I gues it wasn't the big city, but rather something closer to suburbs. Because Although there were tall glass business highrises, they were lit up at night with vibrant colors like the big city. He chased us through the city streets and to some small park I think.

      I think I just woke after that

      The next one was a story about a young boy in a small village. Much like tha fantasy setting before. But it was a much more brighter tone story kind of a world. A young village boy we'll call him... Bow. So Bow was a young village boy about the age of 9 or so. He was a sort of a troublemaker, running around and causing trouble for his grandpa. Most things in this town was made of wood. Infrastructures made of just huge pieces of whole lumber. I think they were like the outer walls of the village made to protect them or something. He'd climb up and run across those high spots and no one could catch him. I forget what but something happened. Something to his grandpa. It turns out though his grandpa was a hero that saved the world apparently. I think he found this out when he found some sorta old sword inside the house.

      Anyways now the great evil has come upon us again and it was up to him to save the world this time. Sort of foggy memory from here.

      I was on some sort of an adventure. I summoned a familiar or something like that and she formed a contract with me. We knew each other in the beginning of the dream apparently but I'm still recalling them. She had glistening smooth white hair and pair of tiny jetblack horns out of the top of her head slightly above her temples. A striking beauty, beyond the measure of mere mortals carrying the kindest loving eyes that warmed your heart. 4 Jet black wings? or something like that. And she said with this, now we can be together forever!


      Didn't get lucid. Because I decided to get back to sleep after I awoke once. I wanted more sleep really, not much else. I could blame the fact that I only got like 40 minutes of sleep yesterday, but I can only blame myself really. I wasn't even that tired and it was due to my own laziness that I didn't have good recall, nor lucidity. Maybe that's getting lucid in a nutshell; The always striving to break out of auto-pilot. Staying aware, and not getting lazy.


      My feelings tell me that maybe very detailed Djs everyday might be excessive. Should I just convert it into detailed Djs only weekly? Like short stuff daily. With Weekly review of the most exciting dreams in more detail. Or monthly? Or maybe even just jotting daily, and doing the detailed DJ only once weekly? I feel like maybe that's a good idea. Either way I'll still stick with daily DJ until the 23rd.

      My Goal is to do it all in the most fun and effortless way. The best way to do it should be the most effortless and lazy way right? Because planning for the long term, anything too excessive or too much effort can't last forever. Sure, they might make you get better in the short term, but what if you stop because you don't have the time to practice them anymore? The most fun and lazy way and effective way , because then even with time constraints, you'd be able to do it masterfully.

      The question is not "how do I do it?" or "how can I do it?" Instead, "how would I do it?"

      Because the first question implies I'm asking for something unknown. Like asking someone else how to do something. But the second implies that it's something that's a part of me. Because if I "would" do something, I'd do it slightly different from others. My "own" optimal way, not the way someone else does it. And while it might be very similar indeed in external appearances, yet it feels and differs ever so differently from my own perspective.

      And that may be the difference between wanting and being. Wanting implying that which you don't have, while being would mean you doing it your own best way that is in true resonance with who you are.

      So go imagine what that's like.
    15. kids jumping on me

      by , 11-15-2020 at 09:51 PM

      During Bed
      Lucid moment

      I'm gonna type out what I remember while I can since there was a blackout not that long ago. Who knows if there'll be another blackout from the storm or not? So I'll just type out my thoughts and experiences while I can.

      Last night I didn't really sleep. Well I laid there on the bed, felt my body sleep and also noticed that I dozed momentarily once or twice. Perhaps less than a minute even. I actually tried a bit of wild phase right after just to see if it works. It didn't since I was pretty awake but I'll give myself credit for trying right away, because if it was a slightly deeper sleep, it would have definitely worked for sure. I didn't really try to lucid dream though, just you know, relaxed and stuff.

      I meditated before bed, maybe a little too well and that might have been the cause of non-sleep. But I did feel rested though. It's just that I was conscious in almost its entirety and noticed the two times I lost consciousness briefly. So it wasn't all that bad really. Actually it was great. Since I had a goal before of meditating the whole night instead of sleeping or trying to do something like that but I never really got around to it. And sitting up the entire time probably would have been uncomfortable. So this was probably a blessing in disguise.

      So I didn't even really dream there I laid down about 3-4 hours. There wasn't any dreams, just this calm awareness. It was like a residue of what I did for meditation.

      The meditation was just noticing myself being aware of stuff. And if I noticed I got distracted, I didn't get mad or upset. I just told myself, you can do this, you can do that, you can feel anything you want, but just notice yourself feeling those things. And I just felt any focus, attachments, feelings, tensions, but it eventually led back to an energy welling from me. It's like a spiral of vibrating energy and if it's moving about like a storm, then my emotions also feels like a storm. Before I tried to change it, it worked sometimes, but this time I just try to notice it... Just noticing the stuff going on in me. Sort of like sivason's dream yoga guide on the sound, but instead I just focus on that.

      So I decided to get up, took 2 short naps later on when I did feel tired. Haven't taken naps in a while but I did.

      Oh yeah I also meditated in between. I just meditated until I released this torrent like feeling from my body. Sometimes it took longer, sometimes shorter but I just did it until I was satisfied. Then some very short mantras if I felt like it.

      First nap had no dreams, but it felt like hours, when it was only about 20 minutes.

      Second one I had a dream, I became aware at the very end. But I couldn't maintain myself in the dream as it collapsed upon my lucidity. I tried though. I tried to grab things like the carpet or the fuzziness before me, but I couldn't grasp onto anythign really. And it slowly became more fuzzy like the TV when it was no signal. I could have retrospectively, tried to DEILD or phase, but I suppose I was distracted by the emotion of failing to pull myself back into the dream. My mistake there.


      I was inside a house, it had sort of like a daycare thing going on. I was on the first floor and I remember seeing Jack there and his mom was to his right. They were by the stairs so that's how I noticed that it was the first floor. We were talking bout something related to money or something similar. I do recall I was playing wit hthe little kids earlier but right now some of them just decided to jump on me on my back. They all jumped on me and I fell on the floor with like an army of them covering me and it was so heavy I couldn't breathe. I felt like a feeling there. It was like a feeling of frustration, a thought process like, "why is this happening to me?" And my body reacted naturally, or my mind perhaps, just went to that noticing the awareness thing I was talking about earlier. And I was present and questioned this circumstance. And I thought "Oh it's a dream" and I felt the dream beginning to get destabilized. Maybe it's because of the agitation from being jumped by kids, maybe it's because the meditation process in the daytime isn't complete. Maybe I'm getting emotional and switching from unaware to this noticing mode too quickly and that could be a reason why it woke me. Or maybe it was just that I was near waking that I got lucid. But I tried to grab onto something just to touch. There was a TV in front of me maybe about 50 inches. It was placed pretty low, just slightly above the ground, as if it was placed conveniently for the kids. But things started to get fuzzy and I began to lose the sense of touch and vision and I couldn't grab on anything. So maybe I should have tried to rub my own hands here. Or immediately tried to DEILD here.

      The house looked sort of like their place btw, but it wasn't the same, and I knew that it was in a different city. The house was newer.

      I'll expand more if I remember anymore.

      Oh yeah, when I didn't get any dreams initially, I thought that I'd just maybe write down some dreams from last couple of days. Since I didn't expand on those dreams if I didn't have enough dreams maybe I should type them out since I said I'd DJ everyday.

      just excessively long trailing thought:
      The reason, now that I think about it, as to why I dreamt about being jumped by kids is likely from a thought I had during the day or the day before. I noticed that I had a passing thought and it wasn't a pleasant thought but I think I did the light version of my all day meditation and just stuck with the feeling. It was about adults when I was young child and how I was treated unfairly and just calming the feeling that feeling and noticing it. I felt that those adults back then, incompetent teachers that didn't give a rat's ass about their students, they were actually still children. They were all children, they just didn't fully grow up and wanted a high paying job that was easy to get, with great benefits and guaranteed high wage in this country I'm in. They didn't think about actually teaching the future generation of kids, and perhaps inspiring them to greatness. But then who doesn't look for an easy way out? No they were just nearsighted, but then again how can I blame them? And that kind of way of looking at them just released some of these negative feelings, memories I guess. It was them, the kids, jumping on me figuratively, but literally in my dreams.

      How can one even know when they grow up? How can they have a chance to grow up? Society's weird, it's unnatural and critical thinking appears to be discouraged in assignments. It's like they are implying... "you memorize these things right here, we know everything and you don't." But in actuality we really don't know much about anything. Just a speck of dust in the vastness of the universe.

      Maybe the problem with the school system is that it lacks the chance to provide people to actually grow up? Maybe society as a whole. Maybe it's because humans used to live in small tribes and now we're all connected in this social media age. It doesn't have that sense of mystery anymore. A chance to explore and discover things for yourself. Instead you're just forced to learn things their way.

      But some folks really do thrive well in how things are...

      So that got me thinking, perhaps it's something you are suppose to instill in children at a very young age to make this story of life entertaining for kids really. That something is the mystery, the sense of wonder. Maybe at a very young age 2-5, by then you're suppose to expose them to the most advanced scientific concepts to them. To synthetically install the "unknown" they could discover and explore later into their lives. In contrast to the expected sameness of what is expected from an citizen of society. Things like quantum physics, astrophysics, sort of thing and even environmental sciences. We don't make them solve it right away, as children. But just to implant these ideas into them. A mystery, a puzzle for them to solve in their lifetime. Can you imagine if every child was exposed to those ideas? They can conceptually understand these difficult ideas at a young age, and at their later years, they could learn the foundations, the calculations, all the factual stuff they could learn later in their lives. As opposed to what we're doing right now. Job to make a living, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher... And they do exactly that. And they get that, but it's for the love of money.

      And the world is changing is it not? These jobs, like a doctor, especially a surgeon, would soon be replaced with AI, that wouldn't make the human error of cutting the artery by mistake during an operation. Or problems of misdiagnosis. At first, the manual jobs, then the high paying jobs. And then what is left? If all of the jobs are gone, then what would become of their purpose?

      Is that scary? Or is it sort of beautiful, wonderful if we could direct humanity in the right direction? Instead of following greed, like holding technological and medical advancement at hostage by buying up patents so you can stay at the top of the food chain. But don't you die one day? Maybe even because you halted progress, maybe medical, that very progress might have saved your life.

      Couldn't it be so much more wonderful though? All the menial jobs are taken care of by AIs. And if we all learned to work together, and strive to extend our scientific and spiritual knowledge. Can you imagine a future we have created, and now live and thrive here on paradise earth?

      Updated 11-16-2020 at 01:24 AM by 96162

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