Thread: MeggyFayePhotography's Dream Journal

You're always trying to teach DC's how to fly and stuff. That wasn't a lucid dream was it? When you learn lucid tricks, you start to do them in normal dreams as well. Doesn't seem that out of the ordinary any more.

Originally Posted by meggyfayephotography

I think the theme for the night was sexual frustration...

For the night? I was thinking more like for the past month. I had felt I had no business commenting on that up till now, but since you brought it up...

Originally Posted by The Cusp

You're always trying to teach DC's how to fly and stuff. That wasn't a lucid dream was it? When you learn lucid tricks, you start to do them in normal dreams as well. Doesn't seem that out of the ordinary any more.

It could have been lucid. I was thinking that if felt like it was because I felt like I was controlling the dream. But I didn't realize I was dreaming so I didn't think it was an LD.

Originally Posted by The Cusp

For the night? I was thinking more like for the past month. I had felt I had no business commenting on that up till now, but since you brought it up...

Yes, for the night. Lol. I haven't felt sexually frusterated all month. Off and on for the month maybe, but that's because Matthew works a lot.

Yay I love it! ^_^

Cuuuuute! Whenever I cut my hair short, I spend the next few days obsessively brushing it. :p I like your glasses too, makes me want a pair!

Thank youuuu and I've brushed it about 40 times since I got it cut! Lol! I like my glasses too, thanks. But they look better in person, pictures make them seem larger than what they really are.

I only remember two dreams.

Dream 1:

FA that seemed soooooo realistic and I'm pissed it wasn't real. But I can't type it, very censored. *Don't worry Cusp, I didn't dream it because I was frusterated either*


Dream 2:

I was seeing this guy. I couldn't remember his name. He had two kids. I couldn't remember their names either. I hadn't seen this guy in a long long time. We both had busy lives and just went our ways. He showed up at a social event I was at one night and told me he was moving, it had to have been some place far away because I was really sad. I was in love with this guy when I was seeing him, but it just wasn't the right time for a relationship for either of us.

We were walking around, holding hands. Being together again, we started to fall back in love with each other. His two kids were wonderful. I loved them too.

"I love your kids so much." I said sadly.

He smiled.

"You know, when we were seeing each other I used to wish that I was their mother." I had tears in my eyes.

I think after that comment we had gotten back together.

The next thing I know, I was sitting in a car with him in the parking lot where this social gathering was being held. He was mid-sentance then he just stopped talking. He froze completely. Didn't move, didn't breathe, nothing. I got out of the car and someone else got in with him to look at him. "He's dead..."

I was standing on the sidewalk. I fell to my knees, started screaming "NO!" and started to cry.

I think I put him in my car because I didn't think he was dead. I put him in my car so I could keep an eye on him, just in case he wasn't dead.

I went to his kids daycare to pick them up and tell them what happened. They were now my responsibility. I was to take care of them and raise them now. They were sad and wouldn't come to me.

I was driving in my car with this guy in it and all of a sudden I heard him breathing really heavy, a light snore. I KNEW HE WASN'T DEAD! I thought to myself.

Originally Posted by meggyfayephotography

haha i still dont get what a oneironaut is...

An oneironaut is an "explorer of the dream world", a fancy term for one who partakes in lucid dreaming. "Oneiric" refers to sleep and dreams. "Naut" is an "explorer of"... like "astronaut", "cosmonaut", etc...

Oooh i get it now, thank you!

Oh wow, that second dream of yours would have left me scared to death! I probably would of thought that he came back from the dead instead of just not be dead....

PS- Your haircut looks nice. When I get mine trimmed I have a habit of brushing it a lot too, haha, maybe it's a short hair habit for women...

Lol no I think it's just a habit for women to brush their hair a lot when they get it cut. Even when my hair is long and I get it trimmed just a little, I brush it a lot. I'd like to see your haircut when you get it!

And as for the dream... I did think of it as him coming back to life but I guess I never thought of it as being scary because I thought the dream was just odd all in itself.

Yes that is an eerie dream! One that you wonder what it really means...

Oh man! I found the second dream depressing. I had one *very* similar to that recently, where I was despairing that someone died and then he suddenly told someone to "shut up". :p You seem to have several dreams about random men who aren't your boyfriend, young lady!!

I know, I know... I cant help it. Actually funny story... the only dreams I have WITH my boyfriend in them... we break up in! Hahaha... oh wait no I take that back, the FA the other morning had Matthew in it. He woke me up and it was a very hot and heavy dream scene. It was like a graphic romance novel...

Mmmm, graphic romance novel.... ..........

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

You seem to have several dreams about random men who aren't your boyfriend, young lady!!

See? I told ya!

I CANT HELP IT!

Last night/this morning I had a series of dreams I kept falling back into. They were, by far, the worst I've ever had. I'm not going to split them up into seperate dreams because they just blur together. It went on from when I fell back asleep after Matthew left for work at 6am until he just now called and woke me up at 9am.

I'm not concerned with people reading this, I know its incredibly wrong. But I had to get it all out for me.

Dream:

It started out in Germany. He has family in Germany and we went to visit. We were in a restaurant. It was packed so we were placed at a round table that seats 4 people, but one person was already seated there. The guy looked like he was from India, but dressed in "normal" clothes.

He was smoking a cigarette and handed it to Matthew. When Matthew handed it back, I saw that he also handed back a blunt rolled in a cigar wrapper. (Matthew and I don't smoke weed. I hate it. So does he. He can't smoke it even if he wanted to because of his job.) I saw it and got pissed off. Matthew didn't seem to give two shits. The guy handed him a blunt that looked nearly new. I told Matthew that if he smoked it, then I'd leave. He smoked it. I ran out of the restaurant. It felt so incredibly real because I could really feel my heart just shattering.

After walking around outside for a little while, I went back in the restaurant. He was now sitting at another table getting shitfaced with other guys, smoking even more weed. I told him that if he didn't stop then I was going back home, to the US. He didn't seem to care. I left. I ended up walking around and found a party. There was a girl there who looked like a girl I know from college so I yelled "Hi Erika!" Aparently, this girl found it insulting and was now after me. I was trying to hide from her. She found me inside the house where the party was. I tried explaining to her that it was a simple mistake and she shouldn't be offended because Erika's very pretty. She beat me up anyway.

I was home again. Matthew was still in Germany. There were a bunch of homeless people who most of them didn't speak English outside the house. They looked like they were a cross between Indonisian and African. I went to talk to them. I started crying. I told them that they were lucky because in other countries the homeless people have it so much worse. I said a few other things out of sadness for them. They were all very nice and liked me. There was a little boy who could speak English and he jumped up on my lap. He told me his name but now I can't remember it.

Matthew was home from Germany. I asked him how many girls he slept with after I left. He told me that I wasn't there so obviously he didn't sleep with any girl. I told him that it was over now and I couldn't do anything about it and he needed to be honest with me. He said that I didn't want to know. I told him that I did want to know. He said three. I went crazy. I started hitting him, slapping him, punching him in the face, yelling and screaming. I walked out of the room and then came back. "Give me one good reason why I should stay." I said to him. "I don't want you to stay if you're going to be a bitch." He said back. "I don't want to be a bitch, just give me one good reason why I should stay." I don't remember him every saying anything.


(I said I wasn't going to seperate my dreams, but this is the only part I remember the dreams being seperate. The first part above was the very first dream and the part below is the second part. I don't know where it stops and continues after this.)

I don't think we stayed together because I remember moving back to my parent's house. I was on the phone with my Mom while she was at work. (When I was about 9 or 10 we got a puppy, a scottish terrier. He was just a few months old at the time. He's now about 11 or 12 years old.) My mother told me over the phone she didn't want Shadow anymore and to kill him. She told me that there was a gun (somewhere) and to shoot him until he's dead. I had a hard time grasping the actuality of doing it, but I did it. I shot him four times in the chest/stomach while he laid on the front porch. I dropped to the floor and cried.

Some guys kept coming in and out. I think we were renting out a room now that my parents had two empty bedrooms. They were older guys. Early 30's. They kept hitting on me. At one point one of them wanted me to take my clothes off. I kicked him out of the house. The other guy who was hitting on me was pretty nice. I walked past the front porch and noticed that Shadow was still breathing. I felt horrible because I was supposed to make it so he had a quick and painless death. But there he was, suffering. I started feeling sick to my stomach and began to cry again. The nice guy who was hitting on me asked me what was wrong, I told him the story, he found a gun and ended Shadow's pain. I then started to put aside that he was hitting on me and began to like him.

So it turned out that these two guys who were hitting on me, the nice one and the one who asked me to get naked, work together. And they worked in an office building right next to my mother's place of employment. I went to visit my mom at work. I think at this point me and Matthew were back together, but things were rocky. I walked past the office building and looked for the nice guy. I was thinking about sleeping with him. My mind frame was "Hey, Matthew cheated on me with three girls, I can cheat on him with a guy." I was looking for him through the windows. I could see a bunch of people moving around, walking in all different directions. Then I saw him. I think he saw me and smiled at me.

I got scared because I really didn't want to cheat on Matthew and I tried to rush inside my mother's work. I realized I didn't have shoes on, so I couldn't go in. It started raining out. Luckily, we only live right down the street. I was going to take my Mom's car because I thought she was using mine and I obviously had a key too it. But I couldn't find her car. I couldn't find any of the cars we own. So I just ran home. When I got home, I had one of the homeless boy who was sitting on my lap with me. He was now helping me carry stuff. I opened the screen door for him that leads to the front porch. He grabbed the mail from the mailbox and said, with his native accent "I wonder what this stuff is!" He was all excited as if he had never seen mail before. My parent's landlord, Greg, then came over to talk to me.

He found a pair of car keys in the mailbox and got upset. "What are these for? What do they go to??!" He yelled at me. "I DON'T KNOW GREG I DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!" This is another reason why I think me and Matthew got back together, because I said I didn't live with my parents anymore. Greg followed us in the house. The little boy saw Shadow (yeah I know he was dead, but he was alive again in this part of the dream) and tried to open the back door to let him outside. He couldn't get the door open so I helped him. I let Shadow out. Greg then asked me if I was able to talk to his guy about getting a hard drive for a computer. I said that I'd have to write it down so I could remember.

Next thing I know I'm outside. My dad is pulling up in the Cobalt. I had my Cavelier and the the minivan was also in the driveway. I asked him what car mum had and he said she had the Cobalt. I didn't think anything of it at the time because he was driving it and there was no way she could be driving it. I went to tell him that I didn't see any of our cars there when I went to see her at work just as a really loud car alarm went off. Then that set off a second car alarm. He asked me what I said. I started to repeat myself and told him to shut the car alarms off then I'd tell him.

I woke up.




I'm still really upset about this series of dreams. The fact that Matthew cheated on me. That I shot my dog. That I got back with Matthew after he cheated on me. He would never cheat on me ever. I'm not worried about that. It was just really upsetting.

ooo what a depressing dream about the person dieing. I hate dreams like that!

Ick, me too. Try shooting your dog... that was definitely a new one for me this morning.


Oh, I also think I had a dream about Ramna187 because I woke up in the middle of the night and his name was all I could think of. Maybe it had something to do with what happened in the chatroom last night? That really did make me upset for him...

Wow... who wouldn't be upset if they had that long series of dreams? I would be too... Wow, it sounds like you had a harsh night... if I had to kill my dog [even in a dream] it would indeed disturb me along with all the other horrific things you went through...

Wow. I've had a similar dream involving my cat I think, but I can't recall the details...

In all seriousness, I think there is a reason why you are having these recurring dreams of breaking up with Matthew. There must be something going on in your subconscious, some misgivings or doubts. Or maybe they're there consciously too? I had recurring dreams about my ex and they were there because of the thoughts I had about him during the day.

I don't understand why I have dreams about Matthew and I breaking up. We're so happy and so in love. We always have fun together and laugh, granted the days where we're stressed about something but everyone has a bad day every now and then. Every time I have a dream about us breaking up, he always reassures me that they're just dreams and that everything is fine between us, so it isn't like I don't talk to him about them. The only thing I can think of is that I find him to be so perfect for me that I'm worried about someday losing him. I remember one of my first dreams about him was that he died and I was crying so badly in my dream yelling that I'll never get over him because there's no one else in the world for me. I've learned not to think too much of my break up dreams, but every once in a while they get so intense and realistic that they just get under my skin a bit.

Oh, funny thing. I was on my way home from my mothers today and I saw a guy who was kinda cute. I thought of my dreams and realized that my DS is... GUYS. And out of instinct I did a RC. Haha.

ooh wow! nice u were thinking of me lol.

Originally Posted by meggyfayephotography

I'm still really upset about this series of dreams. The fact that Matthew cheated on me. That I shot my dog. That I got back with Matthew after he cheated on me. He would never cheat on me ever. I'm not worried about that. It was just really upsetting.

Did I mention your haircut looks nice?

Originally Posted by meggyfayephotography

...The only thing I can think of is that I find him to be so perfect for me that I'm worried about someday losing him.

It does sound as though you have waking life concerns about you two. I can empathise with you there as I've been there myself. Relationships - even prospective ones - can be unnerving sometimes when you aren't sure where things are going. I've found myself saying and doing stupid things out of fear of loss.

Killing your dog had to have been disturbing. Why can't we all just have nice, pleasant dreams?