Thread: Arguing - When to stop being nice

for me, when someone becomes intimidating and usually i know when someone asks me stupid questions or playing with my head (manipulate).

Originally Posted by blackbirdrising

Then I must truly be insane, because my beliefs have never been validated, yet I have always been very open minded.

Perhaps you consider yourself open minded as a defense mechanism. If your beliefs are never validated how do you take criticism and improve your beliefs? Understanding other people's thoughts are vital as fuck toward evolving the psyche.

Understanding our own beliefs are as vital as understanding the beliefs of others. We all know how we feel but why we feel that way can lead to greater understanding of others and even a more open-minded approach to dealing with their beliefs, particularly when they conflict with our own.


As for arguing and being nice...as long as no one flings poo I can take the heat and the debate. Poo changes everything.

Originally Posted by Original Poster

Perhaps you consider yourself open minded as a defense mechanism. If your beliefs are never validated how do you take criticism and improve your beliefs? Understanding other people's thoughts are vital as fuck toward evolving the psyche.

Originally Posted by melanieb

Understanding our own beliefs are as vital as understanding the beliefs of others. We all know how we feel but why we feel that way can lead to greater understanding of others and even a more open-minded approach to dealing with their beliefs, particularly when they conflict with our own.


As for arguing and being nice...as long as no one flings poo I can take the heat and the debate. Poo changes everything.

These pretty much sums up a practical solution to the whole purpose of the thread. /thread

I usually stop being nice as soon as they mention something personnal or related to my family/friends.

I am in the process of mending the damage to my self-esteem inflicted by spending almost a year on an online forum which took the no rudeness, no arguments, and let's be sure to keep this general audience to an extreme. When people say that a conversation needs to remain nice, and then one gets warnings from moderators, after a while one begins to practice self-censorship, after a while one begins to question that maybe one is not a nice enough person, what's wrong with me that I cannot follow such simple rules of politeness. When one's conversations are forced into corsets, after a while all one can think of is a desire to wear a bicini. One seeks out the baddest of the bad boys, to find like minded people to bitch with, and then one wants to punish oneself for doing so. (Notice: I used the word bitch in that sentence - I am trying to break free here.)

Originally Posted by JoannaB

I am in the process of mending the damage to my self-esteem inflicted by spending almost a year on an online forum which took the no rudeness, no arguments, and let's be sure to keep this general audience to an extreme. When people say that a conversation needs to remain nice, and then one gets warnings from moderators, after a while one begins to practice self-censorship, after a while one begins to question that maybe one is not a nice enough person, what's wrong with me that I cannot follow such simple rules of politeness. When one's conversations are forced into corsets, after a while all one can think of is a desire to wear a bicini. One seeks out the baddest of the bad boys, to find like minded people to bitch with, and then one wants to punish oneself for doing so. (Notice: I used the word bitch in that sentence - I am trying to break free here.)

How dare you. You're banned. Report to the principal's office to sign papers.

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

How dare you. You're banned. Report to the principal's office to sign papers.

I refuse to be banned!

Besides, if you banned me, I would haunt you in your dreams. Your subconscious would be so troubled, and your conscious mind may think that this is nonsense, but your subconscious is irrational, so in your non-lucid dreams there I would be, always bugging you and saying "All I wanted was an online forum just to chill and decompress and be myself or whoever I choose to be. Is that so wrong?" Do you really want to risk that? Much safer not to ban me.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

I refuse to be banned!

Besides, if you banned me, I would haunt you in your dreams. Your subconscious would be so troubled, and your conscious mind may think that this is nonsense, but your subconscious is irrational, so in your non-lucid dreams there I would be, always bugging you and saying "All I wanted was an online forum just to chill and decompress and be myself or whoever I choose to be. Is that so wrong?" Do you really want to risk that? Much safer not to ban me.

If you try to haunt me in my dreams, prepare to deal with forces in the network of consciousness that you have never even read about. You will never forget what you see in my mind, and my mind will never forget you or the location of your consciousness in the multiverse. It will inform the others. I have one body but many minds, and you will serve us all for eternity if you betray us. We know who you are, and we are expecting you.

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

If you try to haunt me in my dreams, prepare to deal with forces in the network of consciousness that you have never even read about. You will never forget what you see in my mind, and my mind will never forget you or the location of your consciousness in the multiverse. It will inform the others. I have one body but many minds, and you will serve us all for eternity if you betray us. We know who you are, and we are expecting you.

JoannaB slowly backs away to look for a safer thread.

Originally Posted by JoannaB

JoannaB slowly backs away to look for a safer thread.

I meant it in a good way. Let's go get ice cream.

Oh in that case, I was just kidding about backing away.