Hmmm.... I do agree with all you say. I have just been thinking very hard about this concept of caring/not caring about other people's lifestyles. (I only made it about homosexuality because I started thinking about this after hearing making comments about that topic). Maybe I am making the mistake of thinking the word caring has only one meaning. I definitely agree with you with the fact that I don't care what people do in their bedchambers, in the sense, that it is not my business and I don't ever ask these questions to people or even make suppositions in my head. I do find it impolite. So much so that I don't use the word homosexual anymore. I use the word homoromantic which refers to people who have relationships of romantic nature. (I find saying homosexual impolite because you directly make a comment about someone's sexlife.)

So, yes, this "I don't care statement" has to be okay... But, it seems incomplete as an attitude. (and I am especially talking about people you know and are close to you).

(And on an unrelated note to sexuality but still about this caring dilemma), let's say your partner is a smoker and you are against that lifestyle but you still love them. you can say you don't care. You have this view, that smoking is wrong and someone you love is a smoker. You obviously can't do much about it. I don't know where I am going with this. But just saying "I don't care!" seems like an incomplete attitude to me. And smoking is physically harmful. When talking about incest between to consenting adults that you personally know and care about, it's no longer the same, because even if you are personally against that, the behavior is not harmful but instead, good. So how do you reconcile "being personally against something" and caring/loving someone? Especially when the goal is not to convince them to stop what they are doing! For example, back to the homosexual topic. Assuming homosexuality is equally good to heterosexuality, then do homophobes have the responsibility to remove the repulsion that they feel inside them? Or do they have to just keep feeling the way they do? See, the problem I have with this is it seems hypocrite to me to continue believing something is repulsive and somehow act out like it's great in daylight.

The reason I say this is because in high school, I was in a social justice club and I have seen students speaking up against discrimination, saying that homosexuals were great people and yatti yatta in front of the public. But then, when they talk among themselves, they obviously are repulsed by it, the way they speak. That's what bugs me. How can people act like they are for it and then harbor feelings of repulsion inside and among themselves? If something is not wrong, why are we repulsed? (Homoromanticism is not something that repulses me personally but other things do such as incest. This conversation is more about how we should feel about lifestyles that are different then ours, whatever they may be. I'm just using homosexuality as an example.)