Thread: Does substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend have serious consequences?

It doesn't have to. It's a dream remember.

Originally Posted by tommo

Everyone thought Darwin was crazy when he said the Ghost Orchid must have a moth with a 3-inch nose that pollinates it. Later on they found a moth with a 3-inch nose.

oh crap this made me laugh. moth with a 3-inch nose. it's called a proboscis, tommo

but i'm agreeing with most of what you are saying. just ask waking nomad about a dream life and stable dream environments. and when i was young i had a lot of dreams in a couple dream locations that were the same when i returned to them.

Originally Posted by Gutts

No, you gave up.

We all give up, just on different things.

When people can't stand themselves they create a hole inside them, and try to fill it with someone else.
I gave up on love because I didn't find that someone (luckily), so I learned to appreciate myself, while most people give up on themselves instead.

It's called being your "best self" and you change for you so that you feel better about yourself and have the confidence and feel worthy of being in a healthy, loving relationship.

Good for them. I would rather be who I am though.

Being my "best self" wouldn't make a difference, I would have to make a major change in my personality, which is a life I wouldn't want to live.

If you just sit around bitching about how you weren't meant to love, all that means if you're too lazy and scared to get off your ass and do something about it.

In my case, I realized that I never had much interest in love. I thought I had a real interest, but that was just something I had subconsciously told myself because that's what teenagers are "supposed" to be interested in.

People want a relationship because they're scared of dying alone.

Btw, I'm not bitching, I'm sharing my opinion.
In my eyes, you are "bitching" about how you are not comfortable with yourself, and that you are too "lazy and scared" to do something about it.

Life is disappointing sometimes. Rejection is a part of life. You can either learn to not let it affect you

In my experience, love caused much more pain than pleasure.
I don't know about you, but I think that pain is undesirable.

Oh, let me guess, the pleasures of love is worth the pain. Well, not for me.
I have learned to find pleasure elsewhere.
To make an anology: You deliberately hit your hand with a hammer to eventually get a tiny piece of love-candy once in a while, while I go to the candystore and buy lots of other candy instead (the candy that doesn't require pain). One piece of candy for you, a million for me. One piece of candy for you, a million for me...

or you can do what you've done and seal yourself off and justify it with an endless number of reasons because you're too afraid.

Here is my "endless" number of reasons: I never truly had an interest.

You can learn to fully appreciate yourself and your hobbies, or you can do what you've done and seal yourself off from yourself and justify it with an endless number of reasons because you're too afraid

Wow.

That's the dark truth. Instead of trying to gradually appreciate themselves, they give in to the illusion of love, not knowing that they are simultaneously digging the hole of misery even deeper.

I was falling for a long time, but I managed to climb up and fill the hole.
Too bad most people are digging, loving, falling and repeating. Well, whatever floats their boat.

angelzlayer it sounds like you're talking about romantic love or attachment. you must have some love for people or anything else aside from this.

Originally Posted by cygnus

angelzlayer it sounds like you're talking about romantic love or attachment. you must have some love for people or anything else aside from this.

Correct. I love my friends, I love videogames (lol) etc. It's romantic love (what I call "real" love) I don't like, although I have no problem with other people liking it.

You got some really cool LD goals lol

To answer your question though. NO. I dont think its a good idea. UNLESS you know ands really believe that it is all your imagination and that any dream relationship is like having a relationship with yourself, and that they will never be as meaningful as a real true relationship, then yes, go for it.

Some folks would say that so called "waking" life is every bit as much a dream as what we call dreaming. Just a dream of a different kind on a different level. Perhaps the OP is on to something. Or perhaps he needs to treat his waking life and waking life girls the same way he plans on treating his dream life girlfriend.

I'm certainly no expert, but it seems that in lucid dreaming, having confidence that you can do something is nearly all that is required to get the desired outcome. It is not a far stretch to say that the same is true in waking life - ESPECIALLY with girls.

OP, if you approach waking life girls with the same confidence as you do lucid dream girls, you might find that you will have the outcome you want.

Originally Posted by AngelZlayer

Correct. I love my friends, I love videogames (lol) etc. It's romantic love (what I call "real" love) I don't like, although I have no problem with other people liking it.

hmm yeah, romantic love can be largely for the purpose of having children and then raising those children... so it can be in part a result of biology, whereas more generalized love is less so.

it's possible that the "it'll degrade the family system of the country!" mindset is at the heart of those who criticize the idea of having a romantic dream relationship (and as we already know, gay marriage and a number of other things).

i don't want to have children, and there is nothing wrong with having relationships that make you happy even if they don't lead to more people.

so, in essence i can't see how people's distaste for this kind of thing is so far different from opposing gay relationships, the use of psychoactive plants, or having meaningful experiences in dreams. but i will repeat that you are responsible for both your physical and mental/dream lives and shouldn't emphasize only one.

-- i also tend to agree with acala that both waking life and dreams are illusory, we are only energetically conditioned to operate mainly in the physical.

I do not want children, a wedding, or even a relationship. I have a feeling that probably won't change, seeing as i'm four years into puberty and I should be raging right now

Originally Posted by jarrhead

I do not want children

hurrah! i wish more people would think like this.

Originally Posted by jarrhead

I do not want children, a wedding, or even a relationship. I have a feeling that probably won't change, seeing as i'm four years into puberty and I should be raging right now

lol trust me. As you get older you go through so many phases, your eyes will open lol

Originally Posted by Elem3nt0

lol trust me. As you get older you go through so many phases, your eyes will open lol

true, but there are still people who choose to never have children and stick with that. one of my uncles never had any kids and i thought he was pretty cool for it.

it's just all those mother******s who get married after a few months then start having kid after kid after kid like the miracle of childbirth is such a fascinating thing who need to be neutered.

hey, now that i think of it.

:O

substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend may save the planet!!!!

hahahaha. Sounds like a lot of people here. In the city, you've got gangsters and half the high school is pregnant.

Originally Posted by jarrhead

hahahaha. Sounds like a lot of people here. In the city, you've got gangsters and half the high school is pregnant.

sounds like my old school.

Sounds like my current school.

The placement is a failure. We have kids from spring lake (ghetto) kids from upper city (my place) and kids from the linden (country) all in one school. Rednecks and gangsters do NOT go together.

We're also the poorest school.

Originally Posted by jarrhead

I do not want children, a wedding, or even a relationship. I have a feeling that probably won't change, seeing as i'm four years into puberty and I should be raging right now

Pfft. That will change. I, too, do not want children.

Originally Posted by cygnus

hurrah! i wish more people would think like this.

Indeed.

Originally Posted by Elem3nt0

lol trust me. As you get older you go through so many phases, your eyes will open lol

Indeed. You've only just begun the fascinating voyage that is puberty. When you hit 17, believe me, your life will revolve around women.

Originally Posted by cygnus

true, but there are still people who choose to never have children and stick with that. one of my uncles never had any kids and i thought he was pretty cool for it.

it's just all those mother******s who get married after a few months then start having kid after kid after kid like the miracle of childbirth is such a fascinating thing who need to be neutered.

Nothing wrong with not having kids...and yeah, there are some people out there who should not breed. Ever.

Originally Posted by cygnus

hey, now that i think of it.

:O

substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend may save the planet!!!!

...holy crap, I never thought of it that way before. Go, man, go! Best of luck to you. Tell the Mrs. I said "hi."

Originally Posted by jarrhead

Sounds like my current school.

The placement is a failure. We have kids from spring lake (ghetto) kids from upper city (my place) and kids from the linden (country) all in one school. Rednecks and gangsters do NOT go together.

We're also the poorest school.

ya we had that problum back in VA with the rednecks and the gangsters

Originally Posted by Mario92

Indeed. You've only just begun the fascinating voyage that is puberty. When you hit 17, believe me, your life will revolve around women.

Most boys hit puberty at 12-14. At 17 you'll be about 4 years into it.
I hit puberty at 10. I am now 4 years into it.

So I should be on the same hormonal level, right?

Originally Posted by jarrhead

Most boys hit puberty at 12-14. At 17 you'll be about 4 years into it.
I hit puberty at 10. I am now 4 years into it.

So I should be on the same hormonal level, right?

i hit it at 10 too and the hormonal lvl is different for every one.

It strikes at a different time for everyone, but eventually, your experiences will leave you to conclude that women are stunning creatures. Puberty does not equal finding women/men attractive, but it certainly helps.

Oh I still find women absolutely stunning.. Relationships, not so much.

Originally Posted by jarrhead

Oh I still find women absolutely stunning.. Relationships, not so much.

AH! Now I understand you more. Yes, I can see that...

Spoiler for Post:

Sorry if anyone was offended by that, but the first bit is the truth. Until you get a good job, women really are a drain on one's time and money...used to feel exactly the same way. I now have a job, and would be happy to be in a relationship, though I'm not obsessed with finding one, nor am I actively seeking one. I suspect this attitude will change throughout life, though.

If you can deal with the fact that your dream lover is completely, 100% imaginary, then go for it.