Thread: Does substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend have serious consequences?

If everyone thinks this guy (who doesn't seem to respond here anyway) is so retarded. You should be glad he's not gonna be passing on his genes lol
IMO he's probably trolling. He's responded once in 5 pages.

Originally Posted by tommo

If everyone thinks this guy (who doesn't seem to respond here anyway) is so retarded. You should be glad he's not gonna be passing on his genes lol
IMO he's probably trolling. He's responded once in 5 pages.

He had a ton of quotes in the same post.

what?
He had one quote and he said "does this mean can't be fussed?" or something.

Also a dream girlfriend would be your own creation. She would be "perfect". Exactly fit your ideals.

We human beings allways are so naive. We Want want want. want this want that.

But so often what we want isn't what we need. That's why it's good to have a real life girl friend. And real life friends. That don't behave as you desire or expect.
Those that are as they are and not as you desire. Because allthough we so often desire to create uniformity, what we really need is diversity. Diversity in characters.

Only from this difference we can develop. Change. Grow.
We can learn from eachother. We learn that life isn't allways what we desire it to be. Learning to accept people as they are, even if they aren't like us with views and beliefs different from our own, is a way to learn to except all of life; as it is, even if it isn't at all what we desire it to be.

Now imagine a Lucid dream world in which everything and everybody is exACTLY as we desire. What a boring, static world it would be. And a world that would never develop, grow or change. If we cling on to this dreamt up utopia we would never be motivated to grow, improve, develop our personalities and our world.

I know it can be hard to suffer social phobia. I know it can be hard to find a nice girl and hook up with her. But the suffering this causes are nececairy evils. Nececairy evils that motivate us to improve, develop and grow. As individuals and as humanity as a whole.

I often curse them too, but I see the importance of their existance so every now and then I realise how they are blessed.

Originally Posted by SKA

Also a dream girlfriend would be your own creation. She would be "perfect". Exactly fit your ideals.

We human beings allways are so naive. We Want want want. want this want that.

But so often what we want isn't what we need. That's why it's good to have a real life girl friend. And real life friends. That don't behave as you desire or expect.
Those that are as they are and not as you desire. Because allthough we so often desire to create uniformity, what we really need is diversity. Diversity in characters.

Only from this difference we can develop. Change. Grow.
We can learn from eachother. We learn that life isn't allways what we desire it to be. Learning to accept people as they are, even if they aren't like us with views and beliefs different from our own, is a way to learn to except all of life; as it is, even if it isn't at all what we desire it to be.

Now imagine a Lucid dream world in which everything and everybody is exACTLY as we desire. What a boring, static world it would be. And a world that would never develop, grow or change. If we cling on to this dreamt up utopia we would never be motivated to grow, improve, develop our personalities and our world.

I know it can be hard to suffer social phobia. I know it can be hard to find a nice girl and hook up with her. But the suffering this causes are nececairy evils. Nececairy evils that motivate us to improve, develop and grow. As individuals and as humanity as a whole.

I often curse them too, but I see the importance of their existance so every now and then I realise how they are blessed.

dudes dropping truth bombs. Said it much nicer than I could.

@tommo: well I didn't post because the answers in the thread answered my question I think. But apologies for forgetting to thank everyone for answering my thread.

And I posted this thread because I searched the forum if such a thread existed (it didn't). Also, mainly, I wanted to know the consequences, not so much about whether it is wrong or ok to substitute a lucid dream gf for a RL gf. But of course I'm not gonna complain about the posts in this thread. I appreciate them. Yes, I admit my question sounds controversial. Sorry if I'm typing like Captain Obvious in this paragraph. Recently I got tempted to substitute. I didn't mean to troll in the thread.

Dream Life cannot be a substitute for waking Life. Nor can Waking life be a substitute for dreaming life.

Is waking life not a substitute for dreaming life just because we cannot live without sleep/ shouldn't avoid using sleep time for creative dreams to solve problems etc or are there other reasons? I don't think I've seen someone say that bolded quote before.

I don't see why some people seem so worried. To me, it seems a perfectly good idea, but maybe that's because I'm a weird isolated freak

Might do it eventually, but I'd probably miss being able to do whoever I want

As long as he's not addicted, there is absolutely no problem with it whatsoever. If he is emotionally stable and feels no shame in this, go ahead.

I, for one, would feel no shame at all.

Originally Posted by jarrhead

As long as he's not addicted, there is absolutely no problem with it whatsoever. If he is emotionally stable and feels no shame in this, go ahead.

I, for one, would feel no shame at all.

This pretty much. To be honest, pretty much anything is acceptable as long as it stays in your mind. And I don't see anything at all wrong with this in any way.

Originally Posted by lakeoffire

This pretty much. To be honest, pretty much anything is acceptable as long as it stays in your mind. And I don't see anything at all wrong with this in any way.

Sure, because this isn't at all a matter of wrong and right.

It's just that I don't think you can even remotely compair a lucid dream lover to a waking life lover. Like I said in my last post; A dreamt up girl, your own creation, would tend to be far too "perfect" according to your ideals.

A waking life girl has a character of her own. A free will. Is perfectly imperfect.
She wouldn't be as perfect and beautyfull as your dreamt up girlfriend. She wouldn't be as patient, intelligent, friendly, faithfull or nymphomaniacal as your dreamt up girlfriend.

That's a challenge. Quite a heck of a challenge.
To hook up and keep a relationship with such an "imperfect" girl. To stay together dispite jealousy, impatience, naivety, dominance, overweight or other possibly percieved downsides. All of waking life, even a large part of our dreaming life is imperfect; not as we desire. So learning to love and accept an imperfect girl is a good Lesson to learn loving and accepting Life as a whole.

Instead of substituting this imperfect girl, I say TAKE that challenge.
You can allways experiment with a dream relationship, but why should it be any reason to, with all due respect, chicken out on this Challenge?

Go take that challenge and try to get a little closer to that "imperfect" waking life girl you secretly adore. It may be hard. You may feel affraid of being turned down. You may get extremely nervous, but being turned down won't kill you believe me. It may suck, but having at least tried and knowing you never stood a chance is infinitely less fucked up than chickening out, freezing up and never knowing what chance you may have had. Believe you me.

Take that challenge, I tell you, because it is part of Life. Part of what it means to be Human. If the stress gets to you, or the frustration of the struggle is getting you down you can allways be comforted by your Dreamt up girlfriend.

If you could dream up a girlfriend, you might as well seek her comforting and have her encourage you to make a move on this waking life girl you like.

this topic has turned into people with gf's vs. people without gf's.
that said, people should realize that some people havent been in a relationship, or have been in one, and dont wish to go back anytime soon regardless of the reasons.
I think the thought of having a girl in your dreams you consistently call your girlfriend could be harmful to your waking life. anything that might make you dependent on dreams would be a bad idea. if someone took it too far i think it would lead to depression. of course thats an extreme case but possible none the less.
if its just for fun, then its just for fun obviously. but if its because you cant seem to find a girlfriend and you are desperate, then who am i to say you shouldnt? there are some things that i bet you could change in your waking life to change that, but thats all a personal decision.

Maybe having a dream gf will motivate you to really put some effort in getting a real gf!!!

So basically.
Yes, having a dream girlfriend is fine. But you should also try to get a real life girlfriend too. Or substitute boyfriend if you please.
That about sums it up right?

Originally Posted by tommo

So basically.
Yes, having a dream girlfriend is fine. But you should also try to get a real life girlfriend too. Or substitute boyfriend if you please.
That about sums it up right?

Yeah that´s pretty much what I mean.

Oh, I just meant the thread as a whole seems to have come to that conclusion lol I know what you meant SKA hehe

Originally Posted by tommo

So basically.
Yes, having a dream girlfriend is fine. But you should also try to get a real life girlfriend too. Or substitute boyfriend if you please.
That about sums it up right?

+1 Quietly protesting the 10 character limit.

oh mario92, btw, what is the origin of the "word" "+1"? I've seen that "word" occasionally in forums and would like to know how it started to be used or when it was first used if you know. Thanks.

I've also used that "word" before in forum posts.

The term would be 'meme'. Meaning a trend on the internet. The best place to look these things up is urban dictionary.

Basically it came from games where you get +1 XP etc. I think that's it anyway. The English equivalent is, "I agree with you, you are awesome and deserve respect"

^Ayup, pretty much that.^ Quietly protesting the 10 character limit.

Only if she finds out about it.

Originally Posted by Mark75

Only if she finds out about it.

Lmfao. But it's true don't let her find out.

Originally Posted by Catbus

If you can deal with the fact that your dream lover is completely, 100% imaginary, then go for it.

I would even say, who the fuck cares ? It's his decision if he's going to have LD gf or not. And no, it won't have negative consequences. Well maybe if you are going to stab real gf, then you are fucked.

This is just like the "Parents think LDing is an occult" thread.

Dude, just don't tell anybody about it. It's in your head, not like anybody can find out. What's hard to understand about that?

Originally Posted by M45t3r

I would even say, who the fuck cares ? It's his decision if he's going to have LD gf or not. And no, it won't have negative consequences. Well maybe if you are going to stab real gf, then you are fucked.

Frankly I think its just sad. Also, I'd be offended if my partner found it necessary to also make love to an imaginary character. Talk about squashing ones libido.
However in your case... well, it doesn't seem healthy to be doing such a thing, or at least not for a long period of time. More.