Not exactly homework but.. A statement of purpose: who wants to help?

**Meeps** · 12-28-2011 02:10 AM

Well hi,

The title of the thread says it all. I'm applying for grad school and I'd like it if someone whose native tongue is english would proofread my statement of purpose and correct it. And maybe comment on the content or tone as well... I don't really know if my text is too serious or not serious enough, I'm not familiar with this kind of thing.

If someone, with pretty good grammar skills, would be up for that, that'd be awesome!

Maybe if some people want to give me some general tips: always welcome to do so in this thread.

Any takers?

**Carrot** · 12-28-2011 11:42 AM

Why not just post it for up us to read through first?

**Meeps** · 12-28-2011 12:15 PM

I don't know... I'm a bit shy about it

And in general paranoid about posting school stuff on the internet before sending it in..

But I can give the broad structure:
Graph 1: I talk about what people say about me
Graph 2: I talk about my undergrad studies & year abroad in Vancouver
Graph 3: I talk about my grad studies & master's thesis right now
Graph 4: career prospects
Graph 5: motivation of my choice of program & university

And it's 511 words. (one page)

**Arra** · 12-28-2011 03:50 PM

I don't know about the requirements for the particular document, but I'm generally good with writing and enjoy proof-reading. You can send it to me if no one better qualified offers.

**Carrot** · 12-28-2011 07:02 PM

Originally Posted by Meeps

I don't know... I'm a bit shy about it

And in general paranoid about posting school stuff on the internet before sending it in..

But I can give the broad structure:
Graph 1: I talk about what people say about me
Graph 2: I talk about my undergrad studies & year abroad in Vancouver
Graph 3: I talk about my grad studies & master's thesis right now
Graph 4: career prospects
Graph 5: motivation of my choice of program & university

And it's 511 words. (one page)

My English isn't good so I can't help you with the proofreading. But I think what people said about you shouldn't be placed at the first paragraph. That probably comes in at the last paragraph so you would appear more humble. Motivation of your choice of program and university is important to me so I would make sure I write that well as that leaves a good impression to people. The others are fine.

**Meeps** · 12-29-2011 05:20 PM

Thanks Dianeva ! I'm gonna look at it again this evening, cause yes, my first paragraph might stand there a little awkwardly (thanks Carrot) and then I'll send you..