New workbook roseburg

**Roseburg** · 06-30-2014 06:10 AM

I need as much help as I can get. I used to LD daily and then one day it left me. I cannot find depth or lucidity - I don't know how to get it back.

**NyxCC** · 06-30-2014 08:22 PM

Dear Rosenburg, I saw in some of your previous posts that you said you used kava to help you with your cravings. I suspect that as a Gaba agonist, it has a strong calming effect that possibly prevents lucid dreams.

Now, it obviously is a tricky thing - would you consider reducing it or stopping it althogether and the consequences of such an action. This is something that only you can decide. Also let me know if this discussion is inappropriate for the workbook, I will be happy to take it private if you wish.

In addition to that consideration, it would be great to include some details about your ld practices to offer more advice. Take care!

**Roseburg** · 07-01-2014 06:15 PM

I did it! This morning when I woke up at 9:30 am I decided to use the extra time before work to go back into dreaming and try to LD. I had an amazing dream earlier in the night where I was with a young boy in a bubble like spaceship and he brought me down to earth - a different version of earth, one where most the land was changed into small islands. We splashed down and motored over to a bank, I had the feeling that this used to be our world but somehow we had caused this change. Non of the DC's would allude to this though, they ignored my repeated requests for deeper understanding of the environment. The island was small and long with old Maine-esque type structures lining the shores. I could still check FB on my phone which was a great comfort to me, since I didn't feel totally cut off from my version of reality. I remember going into use the bathroom and the bathroom was on the front of the house I was at. It had long tall windows that looked out to the sea, I was about 2 inches from the water I marveled at the beauty of the glistening pebbles in the lapping water. 1st LD- I closed my eyes after several repeated attempts ( children and birds coming in and out of my room) visualized the floor of my room and it quickly turned into a dream scene I fallowed it until I could look up and construct the walls as well- at this point I happily told myself- I was lucid. I opened the door and flew out into the sky up into a leafy green canopy. It was a very shallow lucid, I could feel how close I was to the edge of being non-lucid. I decided to get to the point- I shouted to the Sky- "Tell me something interesting!" I heard nothing...I shouted "Tell me something important!"...I heard nothing... frustrated I began to wake up. I visualized again and brought myself back into another LD I flew up through my house to the second floor (which doesn't exist in our real home)and there was a girl sitting in a bed by a window- she looked sick like "Pesentucky" from Orange is the New Black. I decided to ask her who she was- she wouldn't answer, so I took her by her arm and asked very bluntly and loudly- who she represented- she began to let off a bad vibe and get evil looking. I decided I wasn't deep enough in the dream to deal with nasty DC's yet I let myself wake up. SO I know now that I have to re do all of that work I previously did getting passed my ego's defenses - I had mede it to a point where I encountered no more scary or demonic DC's - guess their back.

**NyxCC** · 07-02-2014 10:25 PM

That is fantastic! Congrats on the lds! The non-ld was cool too.

**Roseburg** · 07-03-2014 03:08 AM

I wrote a reply to the first convo- never made it in I guess. I am going to keep trying to LD even with Kava, - the peace it affords me is unequalled, I cannot imagine going back to the mind numbing existence of trying to hang on naturally- I did AA and other programs but the actual issue here is that i have a man made chemical imbalance caused by years of alcohol abuse and my brain is trained to respond it, which leads to disruptive cravings all day long. With Kava, those are gone, I am able to think about other things. I even have gone back to college, have 2 jobs and am relatively happy most of the time. I feel comfortable discussing this anywhere, anytime. I think it is completely relevant and appropriate - but thank you for being sensitive to my feelings. That breakthrough really gave me hope - I think it will take practice, but I can get back to the depth I was at before. I just hate dealing with nasty ego monsters...they are never fun.

**Roseburg** · 07-03-2014 03:02 AM

No LD's this morning- I think my best tactic at the moment is the Wake up and go back to sleep lucid. I will have a whole week off of work at the Salvation Army! I am using that time to get plenty of sleep and go back for some LDing.

**Roseburg** · 07-04-2014 07:03 AM

Okay - I am trying to control my WILDing - I have an alarm set for 5 am - I will try to get up and go to the bathroom or something and then go back to sleep. My intention in this LD is to establish better relationships with my DC's.

**NyxCC** · 07-04-2014 08:11 PM

I wrote a reply to the first convo- never made it in I guess. I am going to keep trying to LD even with Kava, - the peace it affords me is unequalled, I cannot imagine going back to the mind numbing existence of trying to hang on naturally- I did AA and other programs but the actual issue here is that i have a man made chemical imbalance caused by years of alcohol abuse and my brain is trained to respond it, which leads to disruptive cravings all day long. With Kava, those are gone, I am able to think about other things. I even have gone back to college, have 2 jobs and am relatively happy most of the time. I feel comfortable discussing this anywhere, anytime. I think it is completely relevant and appropriate - but thank you for being sensitive to my feelings. That breakthrough really gave me hope - I think it will take practice, but I can get back to the depth I was at before. I just hate dealing with nasty ego monsters...they are never fun.

Ok, I thought something similar which is why I was reluctant to give that advice. The important thing is how you feel about all this and maybe one day you can change this if you feel you are ready. One great GABA related natural remedy to calm oneself down is L-theanine. It has a high concentration in matcha tea and can help relax and is not additive. I totally love the stuff for all its beneficial properties.

I'm really happy you have managed to fight the addiction and are doing well. Overcoming addictions is never easy, but with the right intention is possible. By the way, I found a good read related to changing one's habits, rewiring the brain, etc. It's called "The power of habit" by Charles Duhigg, only read the beginning so far, but I totally recommend it - it is really good.

As far as ld induction is concerned, and taking into account the kava thing, doing wbtbs and longer wbtbs if possible may indeed be the most helpful thing.

Best of luck with future endeavors!

**Roseburg** · 07-06-2014 09:16 AM

No Lds for 2 days - hopefully tonight. Only remember fragments of regular dreams.

**Roseburg** · 07-08-2014 07:57 AM

No LD last night or this morning.

**Roseburg** · 07-11-2014 07:40 AM

Feeling frustrated again. Wishing that becoming Lucid wasn't so hard.

**NyxCC** · 07-11-2014 06:44 PM

Sorry to hear that. Have you been doing wbtbs ? You know there are various brain training games, apps and stuff, maybe it's worth a try during a wbtb to help kick start the brain.

**Roseburg** · 07-15-2014 07:59 AM

This morning I had an LD. I fell back asleep after getting a full nights rest, I fell back asleep with the intention of LDing. I was kneeling at the edge of a lake in a mountainous dreamscape, I looked into the water and watched my face, then I began to be afraid of what I might see. I told myself mentally to stop being silly, that I would see what was important and that there is no evil that doesn't have light behind it. I looked again and saw my brothers face, I thought it was strange and wonderful to be seeing out of my brothers eyes, he is one of my most favorite people in the world. Then I looked up at the stars and realized I could play with them as I always move things with my mind and by pointing out the directions with my fingers. The stars dipped and swayed and spun in circles. I saw the moon and started pulling it in and when it got to me I saw that it was very small like a toy moon, I looked back up and saw the real moon still in the sky. I thought "I can do this, I can pull the moon to me." So, I tried and at first it hesitated and then rocked a little bit and when I really had belief that I could do this it came to me smoothly, I could see a glowing lasso around it and it was beautiful to look at up close. I was going to give the moon to someone I loved but I can't remember who, I think it was a child. I woke up soon after.

**NyxCC** · 07-16-2014 10:45 PM

Really nice dream Rosenburg! Congrats!

**Roseburg** · 07-17-2014 06:47 AM

I am ready to begin lessons, I think I can successfully have at least one a week if I can get the required sleep- maybe on a Sunday.
Reality Checks:
-Sticking finger through the palm of my hand
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Dream Signs:
It is a feeling rather than something visual
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Short-Term Goals:
-Using my dream sign on a regular basis
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Long-Term Goals:
-Experiencing some higher level things, sentient beings, review comities, blue light dreams
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Lucid/Dream Recall History:
-Several the past few months- I usually have excellent recall if I am lucid.

Current Technique:
-WILD with the intention of being aware when I fall asleep.

**Roseburg** · 07-21-2014 07:34 AM

Nothing this weekend, not enough sleep to WILD.

**Roseburg** · 07-22-2014 07:15 AM

I have a feeling about tonight, I have been thinking about a dream I had where I explored a gully and then went into a town where I looked around an outdoor flea market with some very old and valuable books. I think I may be returning to this place soon. Maybe tonight.

**Roseburg** · 07-22-2014 07:30 PM

I didn't go to the old place I thought I was going to. I drempt all night of being a teenager and wanting to go out to a friends house. I didn't become lucid until 11 am and was able to find an elevator (this month's task) at which point the house was too noisy to continue. I have an interesting method that I have been working on. I lay in bed and visualize the floor of my next dream and my mind builds the rest of the scene at which point I step into it fully lucid and aware. My only problem is that this is taking up way to much of my time- I cant sleep until 12 everyday, it isn't healthy and its making my husband worried. I am also frustrated by the lack of depth- I am barely skimming the surface of my dreams, these are so superficial...I am barely in the DreamScape, so much so that most the time the DCs don't even realize I am lucid. I know that there is more because I have been there, deeper in the dreams. I have talked to DCs and had responses, I have met DCs that seemed as lucid ad I am , I have had meaningful experiences- these LDs I am having now somehow seem fake they have little to no emotional/cerebral impact on me upon waking. Please help.

**NyxCC** · 07-22-2014 10:15 PM

That's a great induction tech you've got. Perhaps you might move it to an earlier time if you do it late and it's an issue?

I'm not quite sure what you mean about your lds not being deep enough. Unfortunately, for quite a lot of my lds any conversations with DC are not meaningful at all. The better conversations I've had were when my lucidity was lower, this seems to give DCs more free will. Otherwise too much concentration would hamper them. I actually prefer to focus more on the environment than the DCs as it always offers something amazing. Sometimes it's fantastic places or objects I'm exploring, at other times the simple things like a piece of grass under the sunlight are enough to make me happy. It's probably a sort of an attitude, I just enjoy being in the dreamworld no matter what. Hope that helps.

**Roseburg** · 07-28-2014 07:43 AM

I had odd dreams the last 2 nights.
The first was that i invited a guy over to meet my friend Raquel, but then the dream jumped forward in time and I was living in a trailer, with this guy and not in love with him at all. My husband showed up with his new wife? to get the kids and I was like "We have to talk, at which point he said, no- you made your choice, there is nothing to talk about." I felt so miserable packing stuff into their brand new minivan, looking around I realized we didn't have a car, our yard was nasty with stuff laying around and the guy that I was living with rode a bike everywhere. He was all excited because he got a small black and white tv to get the football game. I was like "I am losing my damn mind, I hate sports! Why would that make me remotely happy!???" I was desperate to talk to my husband, to get him back. I don't know what the hell that was except for scary.
Last night I had the dream that I was on a school trip and I was looking for my ex boyfriend, but couldn't find him anywhere. I jumped in someones car because I thought they were going to a party where he was, I found out this party was going to last a week. I was like - no way, I have responsibilities and have to get home I can't be gone a week. I jumped out of the car and flew up in the air because the driver started chasing me. Why I never became lucid is beyond me- it was weird.
Not sure what is going on inside my head, but I hope my dreams get more pleasant.

**Roseburg** · 08-03-2014 07:55 AM

Nothing since the 27th. I have no recall. SO boring, so disappointing. Kind of frustrated since this is the healthiest i've ever been and I figured that would somehow boost my LD abilities. I can sleep in until noon and nothing, so Im letting it go for a few days so I can just not worry about it.

**NyxCC** · 08-04-2014 09:53 PM

Hope your recall comes back soon. Have you experimented with pee water - drinking a bit of water before bed? This may stimulate more natural wakes where you have the opportunity to recall more dreams and also use them as wbtb.

**Roseburg** · 08-09-2014 08:40 AM

Okay good things to report! I saw my hands in an LD. They were wobbly and weird of course. I had an obe dream.where I pulled my arm up out of my body and realized I was out of my body. This is good, these dreams come right before a significant shift in my dreaming and the level of my LDs. I may be preparing to slip deeper down! So happy.

**NyxCC** · 08-09-2014 08:53 PM

This is great! Also, I love the new pic!

**Roseburg** · 08-17-2014 07:28 AM

Epic LD this morning, I've been sick so my husband let me sleep very very late. I was able to hold on and clarify several times. I even told my self "Go Deeper! Go Deeper!" and was able too. I was walking around a beautiful city, it had tree shaded sidewalks and brick buildings, the sky was a brilliant blue. The apartments had indescribable detail, words I could read on posters, the bark on trees was perfect. I realized I was playing along in a scenario and stopped, I began to admire the detail in the bark of the tree nearest me. I saw a man across the street, I walked over to him and reached out and put my hands on his shoulders, I smiled at him and said "Hello!" "My name is Shannon" what is your name? He smiled back really big and repeated my name. Then he told me something I couldn't understand, and I asked him to repeat but I had to ask several times. I wanted to ask him to tell me something in his language but I could hear my children and husband and it was pulling me out. I came out but willed myself back in, I said "deeper, deeper!" I went back down into another scene where I had great sex with my husband, I was going to ask him the question but I woke up. I am so happy to be back in my dreams in a deeper place.