Thread: Nazrax' workbook

Last night got off to a good start (or so I thought), but in the end things went poorly.

On the way home from work, I started listening to the DV Podcast. Hearing the excitement and passion in OpheliaBlue's and RareCola's voices ... I actually felt rather giddy. Over the course of the evening, I was trying to be extra-aware (though, frankly, I don't think I did a great job). I was also regularly repeating "I remember my dreams" and "I have lucid dreams" to myself.

I went to bed just after 10, drinking a bunch of water first. I woke up 2.5 hours later - less than I expected, though not unheard of. I need to take better notes about sleep/wake times, but I think my cycles are about 75-80 minutes, not the median 90. My dream recall was terrible: I only got a tiny fragment. I wrote it down, used the bathroom, took a B multivitamin, ran through some more MILD mantras, visualized a dream I wanted to have. and went to sleep.

At least, I tried to sleep. Like I said in my first post, if I don't fall asleep within a couple of minutes, it's not going to happen. I laid there trying every physical and mental relaxation technique I know, and sleep still eluded me. I laid still; I moved any time I got the slightest desire to; I focused on the white blobs behind my eyelids; I played music through my pillow speakers ("Subliminal Lucid" as found elsewhere on DV) and tried to focus on that; I ran through a rough 61-point relaxation technique; I listened to my self-hypnosis recording; I counted sheep. At times, my mind would start to wander, but it never lasted long.

After about 2 hours of this, I think the last thing I tried was to ignore sleep and start planning out what I needed to do today. Next thing I remember, my alarm is going off. Dream recall was very stubborn - I thought I wasn't going to get anything - but in the end I got a couple of moderately detailed dreams.

I don't know for sure, but I suspect I actually got myself too excited about it yesterday evening. I had set myself such high expectations that I WOULD have a lucid dream that it kept my mind too busy to actually fall back asleep. I seem to have a lot of trouble finding balances: staying aware vs falling asleep with WILDs, or convincing myself that I'll have a lucid dream without actually causing myself sleep problems.

Ugh.

Last night was even worse. I decided that I was going to forego wbtb and just get some good sleep. I took a nice relaxing shower and drank a hot cup of chamomile tea, then wetn to bed around 10:20. I woke up at 2:50 (4.5 hours, or 3 complete cycles). As I was trying to remember my dreams, I fell back asleep, then woke up at 3:15 (with no memories of any dreams). That brief "nap" was probably my downfall. As I was using the bathroom, I was aware that I wasn't feeling tired, After being in bed for about half an hour, running through the usual techniques, I gave up, got up, and spent a little over an hour soldering my latest attempt at a dream mask. Getting back in bed at 5:30, I felt tired, but the tiredness seemed to go away once I was actually laying down and trying to sleep. I tried planning out my day, but that didn't get me anywhere. I tried to encourage my mind to wander, but it never got beyond whatever I consciously created. Eventually, I tried to keep my conscious mind neutral and just "watch" what came by. i've tried that before without success, but it must have worked this time, since I don't remember anything until my alarm went off at 6:50.

Unsurprisingly, I have no memories of any dreams last night, and I'm even more tired today than I was yesterday.

Last night I just wanted to sleep well. I went to bed at 9:50, woke up at 11:something, 1:30 (thanks to the baby), and 4:something; but each time I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

My dream recall suffered, but at least I slept well. All I got was a fragment about camping and walking in the woods.

Friday night was a fairly good sleeping night (though we got in bed much later than usual), but I got nothing.

We took naps on Saturday. I'd listened to the WILD podcast on Friday, and that got me re-energized about WILDing. WILDs have always apealed to me much more that DILDs have. I wasn't really that tired, so I decided to use my nap as WILD practice. I think I made it further than I ever have before: at one point, I realized that I could "see" the ceiling, even though my eyes were closed. I thought about trying to "open my dream eyes," but I did an "internal nose plug" test which revealed I was still awake.

Saturday night, I spent a little while trying to WILD, but got nothing. However, I'm getting better at relaxing with an intent to sleep, since this WILD attempt didn't keep me awake like ones in the past often have.

Yesterday, whenever I thought about it, I told myself that "I will remember my dreams tonight" and "I will lucid dream tonight." The lucid dream didn't happen, but I ended up waking up after every single sleep cycle and recording dreams for most of them. I've never recorded so many dreams for a single night.

Welcome to intro class!

That WILD nap attempt was so close. It's quite a fascinating feeling how at some point you start seeing the room through your eyelids. Perhaps next time just wait a bit more and then imagine yourself rolling out of bed and then the RC.

Wow, you certainly have good dream recall, but the amount and detail of dreams you recorded last night is really phenomenal. Great potential for dream sign recognition and very good for dream practice in general. It can also be useful to browse through older entries when one has time and think about the dreams one has.

Well, last night was disappointing.

I spent yesterday doing the same thing as Sunday, repeating "I will lucid dream tonight" and "I will remember my dreams tonight" whenever I remembered. I actually got to go to bed about half an hour earlier than usual, which was nice, getting to bed around 9:45. I woke up just after midnight. Laying there, I was able to remember more than one dream; but as soon as I moved, I completely lost them Normally, I can record things without looking at my tablet's screen - it turns on as soon as I press a key on my keyboard - but last night something wasn't working right and I ended up having to look at the screen while I fiddled with settings. I don't know if it was the 2.5 hour sleep, the light from the tablet, or something else, but I had trouble falling back asleep. I think I fell asleep shortly after 12:45.

I woke up a cycle later at 2:20. I had the vague impression of dreams, but nothing that I could remember. I quickly got back to sleep.

I woke up at 5AM, which is around when I usually get up (my typical alarm is set for 5:10). I didn't even have the vague feeling of having any dreams to recall. I decided that since I'd gotten my normal amount of sleep, I'd try to WILD until this morning's alarm (6:30). Alas, that didn't get anywhere either.

I was able to lie perfectly still for 45 minutes. A couple of times, something unusual happened: the indistinct white blobs that I see when my eyes are closed suddenly became very bright and seemed to fill my vision. That's never happened before, even when I was concentrating on them as my anchor. This morning, I was generally trying to ignore them, instead focusing on the sound of the air filter in the hallway. I don't know if this was some kind of HI, but the two or three times it happened, it didn't last for more than a short time.

Eventually, I became aware that my muscles were gradually tensing, which is a common occurance for my WILD attempts. Despite trying to relax my arms and legs, imaging waves of relaxation going over them, etc, I became too restless after 45 minutes and had to get up and try to shake out the tension. The second 45 minute segment didn't have anything interesting; I had to roll over a few times, and I generally didn't get anywhere.

I'm currently rereading ETWLD. I know there's a part in there where he talks about categorizing dreamsigns, and I intend to start using his method. I'm sure I have many dreamsigns that I'm just not considering, and I hope this helps me identify more.

Last night was marginally better. As usual, I reminded myself during the day to remember my dreams and have lucid dreams. I got to bed a little later than usual, around 10:30. I woke up every other cycle and got a couple of fragments. After the 4:30 wakeup, I spent a few minutes with some self hypnosis reminding myself to remember my dreams and have lucid dreams; it then took a fairly long time for me to fall back asleep. It seems like, if I don't fall asleep right away, I lose the ability to fall asleep. I really need to figure out how to get past that, not just for WILDing but for my sleep health in general.

I find SSILD to be quite helpful with falling asleep. It relaxes you plus you might get an ld bonus. Also, I like to just follow my breath without thinking. Other people like to visualize to help them fall asleep.

I hardly touched my computer over the break, so I have some catching up to do here ...

Thursday morning, I woke up earlier than I needed to, so I decided to try for a WILD. I started out with progressive relaxation (tense-release-tense-release each major muscle group), followed by the 61 point relaxation. For the second half of the progressive relaxation and the first half of the 61 point relaxation, my mind was wandering a great deal; but by the time I was done, I'd settled into my standard steady state, which remained until it was time to get up. I only remembered one dream.

Thursday night was good, though I had no recall come Friday morning. I'm starting to wonder if I have some kind of mental block towards lucid dreaming. i've been at this for four years, and I've only had a small handful of dreams. Moreover, any time I seem to be making any progress, my recall tends to drop to zip. I've replaced my other daytime mantras with ones that affirm that lucid dreaming is a good thing. We'll see if that changes anything ...

Friday night was a good night (probably helped by my being totally exhausted from Friday), and my recall was good.

Saturday night was another good night with good recall.

I attempted a WILD during my Sunday nap. I'd intended to start off with both relaxation techniques, though somehow I forgot to follow the progressive relaxation with the 61 point relaxation. Once in my steady state, I tried various things, especially trying to focus on the noise of the air filter, but without success. Eventually, I tried a different mantra, and found that it somehow "fit" a rhythm that felt natural to me. I was able to do it fairly mindlessly, and it wasn't long before I could feel myself slipping away. It was hard not to get excited and ruin it. Suddenly, I felt hot all over, it seemed my eyes wanted to pop open, and my limbs started to feel "funny." Before I could continue, the dog came over and started whining to go out . Next time around, I'll do the relaxation techniques followed by that mantra and see what happens ...

Last night was interesting. I woke up around midnight only remembering a tiny fragment. I woke up again around 3 with no recall at all. As I was trying to think of something, anything, I remembered reading a post about journaling waking-life stuff before going to bed to help encourage recall. I really didn't want to have another night of no remembered dreams, so I went ahead and journaled parts of my day. Almost immediately after finishing my daytime journaling, my dreams popped into my head, and I was able to record them with good detail. After I finished I took my standard middle-of-the-night B complex and went back to bed.

It took me a while to get back to sleep, so I remembered your suggestion to use SSILD to get tired and ran through a few cycles. I must have fallen asleep during the slow cycles. As a bonus, I also got a short lucid Interestingly, it took place in one of the dreams from earlier in the night, which I'd also tried to incubate as a MILD. Overkill FTW, I guess ...

Nothing too exciting last night. More dreams. I got to sleep around 10:50, got woken up by the dog around 2:50, and got woken up by the alarm at 5:10. I actually fell back asleep for about 30 minutes and got an extra dream when I woke up. At the 2:50 wakeup, I took another B complex and started some SSILD; I don't think I even made it to the long cycles before I fell asleep.

Congrats on the ld!

I liked how you used day journalling to jog your memory, which helped you recall quite a lot of dreams. I wonder if trying to remember previous night's dreams if no recall of this night's would have a similar effect.

December TOTMs are out! It will be a fun month for those: presents, walking snowmen, arctic wolves. I think another cool task (from last year) that passes well with the theme is to make it snow. No wings for that, but it's absolutely fun!

I certainly hope to do the tasks this month; despite my low LD count, I've managed it both in October and November Making it snow was actually one of my suggestions in the TOTM club, but I realized after the fact that it was already one of last year's tasks (teach me to research before I post next time ...)

Last night was a fairly normal night. My middle of the night recall was bad, so I did some more day journaling which jogged my dream memory a little. As for thinking back on the previous night's dreams, it's probably something I should practice. Except for particularly memorable dreams, even after I've journalled them, I have no idea what I dreamed about, and I have to check my notes if it comes up in conversation. ("What did you dream about last night?" "I have no idea, let me check ...")

I didn't get a chance to do a detailed dreamsign analysis today, but I did realize something: I've had a LOT of DS9 dreams recently. It's not something I can work into daily life (I haven't watched DS9 in probably 15 years, though I have been following Tor's DS9 reread recently).

I think I fell asleep during SSILD again during my WBTB.

Last night was another fairly standard night. We went to bed around 10 PM, though stuff kept intruding and kept us up until around 10:30. I woke naturally at 1:30 to OKish recall, wrote down my (very short) dream, then did more daytime journaling. Our baby woke us at 3:30, where I had OK recall. I woke up a few minutes before my 6:15 alarm, again with some recall.

Getting to sleep after the 1:30 wakeup was odd. I was trying to do SSILD again, but I kept getting lost before I'd even finished one cycle. Usually, if that happens, I just sleep - but last night, I kept becoming aware a few minutes later (I'm not sure if I actually looked at the clock). Thinking back on it, I suppose it's possible they were FAs - I totally forgot to RC - but I doubt it.

Last night did give me the most disturbing dream I've had in a while. I don't usually feel emotions in a dream, but I certainly felt them after I'd killed the guy. That feeling of disquiet has stuck with me pretty much all day

Last night was an odd night. I started the night with a quick 30 second day journal, then got to sleep a little before 10. I woke up once during the night, at 12:30, staying awake just long enough to pull off my latest attempt at a sleep mask, wonder why I just did that, then go back to sleep. I only remembered waking up at all thanks to my confusion in the morning of "Where'd the sleep mask go?" (I only know the time thanks to the mask's record).

This morning, I had to get up and leave quickly, so I just jotted down a few notes upon first waking up. Later, I was pleased to be able to join them into a fairly detailed, coherent narrative.

I certainly hope to do the tasks this month; despite my low LD count, I've managed it both in October and November Making it snow was actually one of my suggestions in the TOTM club, but I realized after the fact that it was already one of last year's tasks (teach me to research before I post next time ...)

Definitely go for them! I think having to do tasks really makes a difference both for ld quantity and quality. If there's something you want to do in an ld, you are really motivated and may try harder. They also help you keep focus during the dream, so you are less likely to lose lucidity or even stability.

Awesome journalling! That memory of yours is really great. Indeed, it might help to go back to previous dreams and think about them whenever you have the time. I think that with your memory, there will come a point where you will begin thinking during the dream "this reminds me of a similar situation in a dream" and then ld!

The weekend tends to be my time to experiment with WILDs. Alas, we got to bed pretty late (10:45, though I didn't mind too much since we got to see a handbell choir). I woke up at 4:20 (not quite 4 cycles later - a little odd) and recorded my dream. I decided to be responsible and not try to WILD, but I did spend a few minutes reading over old dreams. Sleep didn't come easily, so I SSILD'd some and got back to sleep. When my wife's alarm went off at 6:30, I felt really groggy and didn't remember anything else.

On Saturday we got to bed just before 10. I woke up a couple of times and went right back to bed (my "water alarm" wasn't well calibrated). I finally woke up around 3:30 and decided it was time to try for a WILD. I did some relaxation exercises, put on some isotones (descending from 10.5Hz to 4.5Hz over 20 minutes), and started in on my mantra. I got some good wandering thoughts, but nothing ever became truly visual, and I never felt anything out of the ordinary. After about 45 minutes, I decided it was time to sleep for real. I did a few SSILD cycles and slept. I had my best lucid ever. I guess realizing I was in a false awakening was enough to give me that awareness boost that's usually so lacking. Finding out that my most common RC doesn't actually work was disappointing, but at least now I know. My new short-term goal is to try every RC and see how they work in my own dreams.

For my Sunday nap, I decided to try a WILD, but to try it a little differently. I've noticed that laying still seems to be a great way for me *not* to fall asleep. Since the whole point of a WILD is to fall asleep (yet retain awareness), I decided to try mimicking what I do when I'm normally falling asleep: to scratch, shift, fidget, etc. It's not that I have the urge to do these things while WILDing and have to suppress them; I can easily lay totally still for 45 minutes. But, I've noticed that I do them when falling asleep normally. I tried to focus on the sound of the air filter but to keep my normal movements. Next thing I know, nap time is over (and I have no recall; boo). That's the first time ever that I've fallen asleep while trying to WILD. I'm going to have to play with this more, to see if I can strengthen my awareness but still fall asleep.

Last night, I think I did something similar, though my memory is fuzzy and I have no written record of it. My recall was good, though.

Congrats on the long ld and Totm, Nazrax! You have applied the dream immension extending technique excellently and also very good wife summon!

I like your latest idea of trying out different RCs!

I have to get up early on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so Monday night I got to bed at a fairly good time (after drinking plenty of water). I must have drunk too much, since I woke up after only about 1 cycle. I didn't get any recall from it. I drank some more, but not enough, since I didn't wake up again until my alarm went off. My recall was OK but not great.

Again, last night I got in bed at a good time and drank some water. Again, it ended up waking me after 1 cycle. I drank the same quantity of water and returned to bed, waking 3 cycles later. I didn't have any recall either time. By this time, it was only about half an hour until my alarm was scheduled to go off, so I decided to do some WILD practice. For the first ten or fifteen minutes, I tried what I described last time and got a little more drowsy, but nowhere near sleep. For the rest of it I went traditional and kept completely still. The whole time I was trying to keep my attention on the fan noise. Alas, I didn't even get any mind wandering, let alone HI. Oh well, each night gets me closer, right?

Last night was a good night. At 10 PM I drank plenty of water, did some SSILD cycles, and slept, waking at 12:40 with good recall of one dream and a dream fragment. After recording them (which took some time; I think I had trouble piecing it together), I drank a lot of water (really aiming for that 2:30 mark), did some SSILD cycles, and got to sleep; but again I slept until 4:20. Again, I had good recall, but it also took a while to write down. I'd been planning to WILD, but because both WBTBs were longer than usual, I decided just to go back to sleep. After more SSILD and a B multivitamin, I slept until morning. As usual, my morning recall was worse than my WBTB recall, but I got something.

I've started reading over my old dreams a bit, and I'm going to try to keep it up. Frankly, I have to force myself to do it, since most of my dreams are very strange and often involve me being in (or observing) uncomfortable situations. Ah, well, hopefully once I get this stuff figured out I can get enough control over my dreams to actually enjoy them ...

I've started reading over my old dreams a bit, and I'm going to try to keep it up. Frankly, I have to force myself to do it, since most of my dreams are very strange and often involve me being in (or observing) uncomfortable situations. Ah, well, hopefully once I get this stuff figured out I can get enough control over my dreams to actually enjoy them

The good thing is after reading some of these entries, you get to identify situations that are typical dream stuff. And if you recall the dream and think ok, this is the part in question where it points so strongly that it's a dream, and eventually you will start recognizing these things during dreams too. Sometimes I go over older entries and highlight the key stuff so it's easier to recall and remember. You already have excellent dream journal organization, so that's going to pay off.

I got the idea yesterday to hack a "visual alarm" into my dream mask. It worked beautifully, waking me up exactly 5 hours after I went to sleep. The timing was good, as I was woken out of a dream. Unfortunately, due to a combination of "It worked!" and "It's bright! Where's the button?!?", I lost all but a tiny fragment of the dream (it involved my oldest daughter). I used the bathroom, did some SSILD cycles ... and couldn't sleep. After half an hour, I went downstairs, made some chamomile tea, and spent half an hour reading my old dreams. I went back to bed, but I never did get to sleep, so I'm operating on 5 hours of sleep today. Weeeee.

I wasn't quite sure what kind of dream mask you were refering to, is it something like Remee? Never tried one of these.

I'm a programmer by trade, and I dabble with electronics as a hobby. A few years back, I decided I wanted to make my own NovaDreamer / REM Dreamer / etc mask. I don't have much time for it, but I'm making slow progress.

My initial attempts were all shaped after the other products, and nothing I tried worked for me. I'm a side sleeper, and their board designs were all so big that they'd hit my pillow. Not only were they uncomfortable, but whenever I woke up I'd find the mask had slid up to my forehead. My latest design is radically different, and initial results have been promising. It's comfortable, it stays in place all night, and the lights are clearly visible. The sensors I chose ended up not working well, but I've got new ones the way that I hope will work better.

Why do this? I've got a few reasons. One was cost: commercial offerings are remarkably expensive (though, by now, I've probably spent as much on this project as if I'd just purchased one). Of course, learning more about electronics was another. A third is that I want to do things that none of the commercial offerings provide. I don't just want it to blink at me; I want it to MORSE at me, sending something like "dreaming." Plus, if it can tell when my eyes are moving vs when they aren't, then I should be able to program it to pick out simple patterns and respond to them. How much of this is really possible and how much is a pipe dream? Only time will tell.

Friday night, I tweaked the mask configuration to start out very dim and gradually raise the brightness. I'd hoped that it would let me recognize it in a dream for a minute before it got too bright, but I didn't get any memories from that awakening. I suspect the timer may have been too short, so I've pushed it out. My morning recall was respectable.

Saturday night, I pushed the alarm back by twenty minutes. Unfortunately, I was woken by a different alarm (my computer's battery backup) about half an hour before the mask was supposed to wake me. Oh well. My morning recall was OK.

Last night, I ran over my common dreamsigns as I was going to bed, running through each one and telling myself that I'd recognize a dream if I saw it (huge room, camping, vacations, etc). For an unknown reason, I woke up about 45 minutes before the mask was scheduled to wake me. At first, I had no recall at all; then memory struck and I remembered having a lucid! I only got fragments of it, and I don't remember how it started, but given that it took place in a grocery store it may well have been the "huge rooms" dreamsign coming into play. I even managed to do the other task of the month, even though I hadn't been planning on it at all during my waking hours. Morning recall was OK.

I'm still annoyed with my complete lack of ability to remember that I can break out of the dream's plot and do my own thing. I try to practice "When I realize I'm dreaming, I'll ..." in waking life, but I so rarely have that moment of realization that would trigger such an action. I probably need to change it to something like "As I'm having a lucid dream, I'll remember to ..." and see if that helps. Of course, I'm only 10 dreams into this, so maybe it just comes with time ...

I don't know what's happened to my recall. For a long time, I was able to remember lots more details with lots less effort. Now, it seems like a battle every time I wake up, trying to claw something out of my memory. I know it's still considered good, but for me it's a regression, and that worries me.