sallybrarian's workbook

[sallybrarian]

Reality Checks: -Pinching my nose and seeing if I can breathe -Noticing when I feel anxious or "have" to do something -Asking myself if I am dreaming and then observe things around me in detail (looking at my hands does not work for me which is why it is not included) Dream Signs: -Feeling anxious or like I need to get something done in a hurry -Noticing interesting architecture -Being at work -Driving a car (since I don't own one) Short-Term Goals: -Remembering more than 1 dream per night -Doing a minimum of 10 RCs a day -Meditating for any amount of time each day Long-Term Goals: -Have at least 1 LD per week -Staying motivated to continue my dream practice -Studying my DJ to better understand my dreams Lucid/Dream Recall History: -Remembered both of my lucid dreams (almost didn't realize I had the second LD!) -Dream Recall: I usually remember 1 per night, but it's always close to waking (so between hours 6-8 of sleep). Sometimes I don't remember dreams when I wake up and lie in bed. It might take walking around and doing stuff for 5-30 min and then something in reality will tip me off to my dream at which point I will write it. Current Technique: -Affirmation before bed "I will have a lucid dream and it will always be sooner rather than later" -When I am not too tired I try to do calm breathing focusing on each of my chakra points for 3 breaths -When I wake up between hours 4-6 I try to do SSILD, but that usually wakes my brain up so much I have a hard time getting back to sleep and then I just have regular dreams instead of LD (probably because of being awake makes me tired) -When I remember I try to remind myself to do RCs when in a dream (have only remembered this once and it was the hand RC which failed me, but I didn't trust it anyway so I realized it was a LD). Attachment 8007

[sallybrarian]

Day 1: Last night I was all prepared to have an awesome night of dreaming. I went to bed a little before 10pm and didn't have to wake up for work until 7am (I usually don't sleep more than 8 hours anyway). I drank maybe 4oz of water and woke up 6 hours later to use the bathroom. This in itself did not wake me up a lot. I got back into bed only to have the kitten meowing nonstop for 5 minutes thinking it was morning and feeding time. I got back up to put her in the office and returned to bed. I went ahead and did some stretches because those normally relax my body and put me in my "ready to sleep" mode. I also took some deep breaths and kind of just gave myself affirmations of "I will have a lucid dream sooner rather than later" and also visualizing what I would do to become lucid (nose pinch) and then when I was lucid what my goal would be (try to share a dream with my husband and agreeing to a secret phrase). It might be that I was trying to do too much? Or maybe the nightlight and/or the double get up because of the cat? Anyway, I had zero dreams that I could remember and had a difficult time getting back to sleep, but I did eventually only to not remember anything dream-wise -_-. I'm a light sleeper anyway and when I am woken on accident by my husband it's like my brain just has a light switch that turns to "on" and there's no turning back. So...this was pretty much a failure WBTB. Today I did maybe 5 RC so far and I'm going to try and get to bed at a decent time again. Take note other noobs! We can't all be successful on the first serious effort ad4ea316649b1055204de0df32943e501405835286_full.jpg

[sallybrarian]

Day 2: Didn't bother drinking water before bed. I didn't want to have depressing results 2 nights in a row! Went to bed around 10pm and woke up to alarm at 7am. I felt pretty groggy and not at all like waking up so I reset the alarm to 7:30. This just about never allows me to fully fall back asleep which is ok with me. During this half hour of semi-wakefulness my dream came back to me. I usually like to lie there and just replay it over and over until I get all the details well enough to begin writing. Even when writing in my DJ additional details will come back. I'm slow at writing my DJ and by the time I got done writing my dream I realized "aha! There is another dream hiding in there!" I went ahead and wrote the second dream which I assume happened before the first one because I remembered fewer details of it. Later in the day it hit me that there might have been a third one hiding or that it was a dream from yesterday I was just now remembering (about being anxious over the person I supervise). I was pretty psyched to have remembered 2 dreams since that's a short-term goal of mine! I'll begin a DJ on here soon... I meditated several times this morning (40 min session, 10 min, and 5 min) and I will try to do another 5 min session before bed. I also know I did at least 10 RC today (both nose pinching and also studying words and objects in detail). Here's to hoping for more positive results

[cooleymd]

-Affirmation before bed "I will have a lucid dream and it will always be sooner rather than later" If you do have one sooner, remember to wake yourself up or something. Sooner isn't always better, but watch for false awakening, then you could be automatically stable and near the beginning of a cycle (or at least not too near the end). Just the other day I had at least 5 dream segments, the 4th was a false awakening and I triggered almost immediately. It was an awesome Lucid but then I got to focused on something and lost the world, as I lost vision I just focused on other sense (not even sure I really noticed I was blind at first) as the last sense faded I figured I'd wake up and just let go of the dream. Followed not by consciousness tho but by 5th segment, it was another false awakening, but I didn't realize it (perhaps It was fulfilling the expectation of waking up when I let go. When I awoke from this segment I had forgotten them all. An awesome lucid totally tossed away. I knew I had dreamed and lay there thinking I hope I didn't forget a good dream, I hope I didn't forget a lucid, and then it all came back, segment after segment, all coming at once, The lucid was the most clear but as I typed I had to jump around because of all the segments. Also this was one of the last cycles of the morning (tho I did get back to sleep once more), I had already awoken many times and recorded many other non lucid segments. One advantage of a dream in a late cycle is it can last longer, and also it can be more vivid. This is why there were so many segments of the dream (length) and so much recalled (vividness) and probably also why I managed to become lucid (brain waking up, although I did trigger off a dead relative (sometimes I miss this dream sign tho)). So don't be to sure you want to go to sleep for 7 hours and have your lucid 70 minutes in, maybe you'll end up having a lame blurry low grade lucid every night, and then your subconscious will say objective fulfilled, and then you'll proceed to have 4 more cycles and no chance of recalling a blurry thing Of course if you set an objective to wake from every lucid this shouldn't be a problem and you will almost certainly recall it (but again watch out for false awakening, you don't want to bury your lucids)

[sallybrarian]

Cooleymd, Thanks for the pointers. I've had numerous near-misses because I wasn't aware enough or suspicious of reality. I know I've definitely had false awakenings in the past. I think overall I just need to train my mind to be ready to experience the LD. Also, by sooner I wasn't necessarily referring to earlier in the night but more like "I will have a lucid dream eventually...ever" versus never or a long way away

[CanisLucidus]

Welcome to the Intro class, Salybrarian! It's great to have you here! SSILD is also the technique that I started with that really got my rate of lucidity up dramatically. Starting with my 3rd lucid dream, the vast majority of the next 50 or so were achieved using SSILD, so that's one I'm quite familiar with! I've had the issue of excessive wakefulness, and it can be a bit of a puzzle. The first thing that I'd check is WBTB length. If you're tending to have trouble falling asleep, don't do anything more than get out of bed, pee if you like, and go back to bed. Maybe grab a drink of water if you're so inclined. But after that, I'd get right to the cycles. You can also focus on the shorter SSILD cycles. I don't know whether you've checked out CosmicIron's latest version of the tutorial (it's here: 宇宙の铁: Senses Initiated Lucid Dream (SSILD) Official Tutorial) but he recommends starting off with some shorter cycles first before doing the longer ones. You could try working with just a few of those "fast" cycles of only a few seconds per sense, then when you've finished, just relax and fall asleep. Basically, I'd recommend first finding the point at which you can fall asleep without too much trouble and then just gradually pushing to longer cycles from there and seeing how it goes for you! Good luck and let us know how you do!

[sallybrarian]

Day 3: Definitely did at least 10 or more RC! In my early morning groggy state I really felt like I had missed some RC opportunities in a dream so I will take that as a positive sign I am becoming more aware. I still missed a dream sign (anxiety over my feet getting wet lol), but I'm determined to file more and more dream signs away! I had another 3rd person perspective dream which is weird for me; I'll also work on paying more attention to that. Day 4: Had my first false awakening since "getting serious" about LD!!! I almost wonder if this is because of reading cooleymd's comment and then responding to it. Like "if you think it it will come." That's how my fist LD happened anyway. The hubby kept talking about LD LD LD and then BAM! I get a LD! Of course I just went along with the false awakening -_- and the anxiety...with no RC. Ugh. Buuuuuut.....throughout the night (most likely between dreams) I kept having the recurring thought of "do a RC" even though I didn't follow through on that thought. I tend to not wake up enough between dreams to write down more than 1 or 2, so I take the feeling of having thought about RCs all night as very positive I missed out on a major dream sign which is me driving a car. I no longer own a car and when I do drive it is very occasionally. I'll have to update my dream signs *sigh* At least my RC are ever-increasing during the day. Also, before my false awakening I was exerting my will to try and force change so...I think that's what some people attempt to do in LDs Here's hoping for an even more exciting night!!!

[sallybrarian]

CanisLucidus, Thanks for the link to that blog. I will definitely read it soon! When I have tried WBTB it has never been for a long period of time, but my mind gets "turned on" to being awake very easily. That's probably another reason I have a hard time with remembering more than 1 dream. If I actively set my alarm to wake me up after REM cycles and I do write dreams, I feel there is a high chance of not getting back to sleep quickly. With WBTB I'll use the bathroom and lie back down...only to be wide awake! Now you might say "so don't use the bathroom" but I have some OCD about that and if I think I might want to get up to use it I will simply be thinking that thought over and over and over again keeping myself awake. I think I'll give it another go on a night where I don't need to wake up for work the next day. And do it the way CosmicIron recommends

[sallybrarian]

Day 5: I did SSILD right before sleep just so my mind could feel how that goes. Each time I rolled over last night I was expecting a false awakening so then I did a nose pinch! ... Only to realize that yes, I am indeed pinching my nose IRL. *sigh* and then I forgot to go ahead and SSILD! Well after maybe a dozen nose pinches this morning it's safe to say I'm really training myself to acknowledge RCs! I think it's because I slept so light and a certain someone tossing and turning kept me from getting to sleep on time that I remembered only a fragment of a single dream and not the whole thing or even multiple dreams. I'm still training the mind!

[sallybrarian]

Day 6: With it being New Year's Eve and everything I had a single martini at 6pm...which probably made my whole night of attempting to dream and LD not pan out *shrug.* I also wasn't as diligent in my RCs yesterday. I practiced SSILD again before bed as a sort of reminder to myself to do it in case I woke up. I did wake up, did my RC, and started to SSILD, but I wasn't awake enough to consciously do it for the full # of cycles recommended. Just as I was about to get up to use the bathroom and try SSILD for real my alarm went off -_-; Also, I only remembered two fragments of a dream and not a complete dream. For tonight there is no booze and I have nowhere to be tomorrow so cross your fingers for me!

[sallybrarian]

Day 7: No booze and went to bed at 10pm. Did SSILD before bed again because 1. it makes me sleepy and 2. I consider it a reminder to do that again later. I woke up around 4am, went to the bathroom, and got back in bed with the mental note to STAY AWAKE enough to actually complete all of SSILD (unlike the previous night!). It was very very difficult to stay focused. Around #5 of the quick part my brain was drifting to other topics and I kept roping it back in so I could move on to the slow parts. Then...a very interesting thing started to happen after SSILD. A dream started to happen in which I was in a haunted house and getting really creepy vibes, BUT at the same time I was aware that I was in bed and I could feel my body and the covers' weight. So I am existing in both of these worlds...and I don't know what to do! I think "RC" except I don't really need to be doing one because I know that I'm not fully asleep! UGH. Then I tell myself well don't go doing a reality check and then end up moving your physical hand. So I wait for the dream to solidify...only to be sucked into the dream, not be lucid, and not even remember the dream later. BLAH! But...again, another learning experience! Next time this happens I'm going to keep telling myself "I'm dreaming" instead of la di da going along with the dream plot.

[sallybrarian]

Day 8: Took 5mcg melatonin and boy was that a mistake! I just wanted to make sure I got to sleep quickly, but I'm pretty sure it knocked me out stone cold last night. I know this sounds like a pitiful amount, but I'm a small person (110lbs) and am easily affected by things like alcohol, pseudophedrine, and benadryl. So...yeah, I had one very brief awakening and told myself "do a nose pinch and then SSILD if I'm awake IRL" except I didn't follow through on it. Also, I didn't have any big dream fragments and no full dreams whatsoever. Ugh, what a crummy night! I didn't do a ton of RCs throughout the day either, but I think the main thing was the melatonin. I'd rather be a light sleeper who remembers stuff than a heavy sleeper with no motivation.

[cooleymd]

5mcg (micrograms) or do you mean 500mcg (.5mg) or 5mg (miligrams) 5mcg I don't even think they make it 500mcg they do tho (definitely fast acting and is the right dose for a young person wanting sleep) 5mg is a fairly large dose (for sleep) especially if it is fast acting [of course I take huge amounts of the stuff but that is for vividness, and it actually causes insomnia in me most of the time, I don't recommend high dose for females tho as it can mess up their other cycle]

[sallybrarian]

Yes you are correct. It was 500mcg. It knocks me out, but my recall is worse than usual. I don't think I'll be trying your regimen of high doses

[sallybrarian]

Day 9: Had a single glass of champagne with a friend early in the night (7:30) and went to bed around 10:30-11. I drank what I thought was a lot of water, but still didn't get up to use the bathroom. Another night of no remembered dreams and I would assume no LDs either. Day 10: Definitely no alcohol this go around! Again, I didn't drink enough water to wake myself at any point before the alarm. I did remember a little bit of a dream. I'm not good at recording details from my dreams and when I try I always second-guess myself. Better than nothing I suppose. Day 11: I took 30mg pseudoephedrine at 7am and could feel its effects all the way up until 8pm. It's one of the medications that keeps me awake so if I take any I try to do so early in the day. This or dancing contributed to me getting to bed late. Another day without a ton of RCs (I need to keep track of these with rubberbands on my arm I think). I remembered nothing upon waking and didn't wake through the night. Also, I was on a decaf stint and started drinking caffeine again this past week. I only drink it in the morning before 10am, but if my recall doesn't get any better by Sunday I'm going to call it quits again and see if that helps with my sleep. Shooting for 9hrs tonight!

[CanisLucidus]

Hey sallybrarian! You are doing such a great job of keeping up with your workbook!! You're setting an example for people like me who reeeeeeally fell off the wagon during the holidays. I'm going to try to follow your example and start getting serious again in the New Year! Then...a very interesting thing started to happen after SSILD. A dream started to happen in which I was in a haunted house and getting really creepy vibes, BUT at the same time I was aware that I was in bed and I could feel my body and the covers' weight. So I am existing in both of these worlds...and I don't know what to do! I think "RC" except I don't really need to be doing one because I know that I'm not fully asleep! UGH. Then I tell myself well don't go doing a reality check and then end up moving your physical hand. So I wait for the dream to solidify...only to be sucked into the dream, not be lucid, and not even remember the dream later. BLAH! This is great, you were right there!! Next time I'm sure that you'll nail this. I've turned dreams like these into full WILDs on several occasions, and the approach that always works best for me is to perform the reality check without engaging my muscles in any way. Instead I just imagine that my hand is reaching up to my nose or that I'm rolling out of bed OBE-style. Whatever is appropriate to the situation! The main thing is to imagine the feeling of doing the RC or other motion rather than physically trying to do it. It's more like experiencing it than taking any physical action. You should find your dream body doing precisely what you imagine and your physical body (which you can now completely ignore) lays there and spins up a beautiful dream for you. Good luck... looking forward to seeing you continue! You are doing a great job right.

[sallybrarian]

Day 12: I had to work until 9:30pm. I got home ASAP, didn't care and took a melatonin, and got in bed. WORST NIGHT OF SLEEP EVER! Tossing and turning, aching body (no I'm not sick...or on that time of the month), kept waking up and then trying to get back to sleep, and finally I'm pretty sure a raccoon or other large animal (cat??) fell on our roof with a huge thud in the middle of the night and then scrabbled off. During the day I did a few RC, but I've been slacking. Not getting the right amount of sleep or quality sleep and having to get up to an alarm really messes all this dream stuff up. Before bed I told myself: you will remember your dreams and write them down. If I'm not having much luck attaining lucidity the least I can do is write something down! In a drowsy state I realized I had a dream and should write it, but then told myself "sleep more important" so I wrote a partial dream when I woke and then stared at the wall 5 minutes trying to remember it. The dream I had had my husband coming to my pottery class with me. That should have been the tip off! Arg. New year, new habits. More RCs! More intentions! More awareness!

[sallybrarian]

Day 13: I had a short dream. One person morphed into another person which I didn't find confusing for some reason, but the fact a 3rd person was there made me wonder "I thought he said he was going to ___ tonight?" which then caused the dream to end -_- On an interesting side note it was a bit on the precognitive side since I went to a dance that night and really wasn't sure if anyone I knew would be there. The two people I dreamed about dancing with were indeed there (and yes I did dance with them!) despite not knowing their personal schedules. Before leaving to dance I said to my husband "I'll bet you $5 S__ will be there!" Day 14: Dancing really tired me out and I slept like a rock. No dreams and I had to wake up early for a hair appointment. Stupid life getting in the way of my dreams! I don't get enough sleep-in time. Day 15: Horrible night of sleep again. I was trapping feral cats for Operation Catnip and was anxious the whole time doing it worrying that raccoons would hurt the kitties in their traps or that my neighbor who doesn't like the cats getting fixed and vaccinated (?!?!!) would come on our porch and set them free. Another morning where I had to wake up too early (6am) and therefore miss prime LD time frame for myself. Day 16: I don't know why I'm just incapable of sleeping like a normal person. Maybe took my B vitamins too late in the day?? Also I took a nap which usually isn't a good idea for me. I took a melatonin before getting in bed. I tried to sleep from 9:30-11pm, gave up and knitted until 12am and then took a second melatonin. Got less than 6 hours of sleep and miraculously remembered a snippet of a dream. Day 17: Had a bizarre dream (I usually have boring dreams which has been a motivation factor in the past), but didn't think to question reality. Most likely because I've gotten poor sleep for several days now. I was sleeping with earplugs and a sleep mask and my alarm didn't wake me and it took a while for husband to wake me. He actually got me up right out of my dream. Will try for better results tonight. >I keep trying to practice SSILD whenever I can, but it has been ending up that I do it when I first go to sleep as a mental reminder: do this when you wake in the middle of the night. Except that I'm not waking in the middle of the night! >When it gets too depressing not remembering dreams as well I change my nightly intention to "I will remember my dreams and write them down." >I'm having a hard time doing my preferred RC at work because I want to nose pinch, but my hands get dirty helping people with books and public use computers and I don't want to touch my face. Will buy handkerchiefs soon and might also get a digital watch to use as a RC.

[Sensei]

If you need help waking in the night, you can talk to me about it! Also, I don't know if you have watched Psychopass, but I saw that you posted a pic from that anime. It was quite interesting! It gives me a opposite view of the Sword Art Online view of internet friends.

[CanisLucidus]

Stupid life getting in the way of my dreams! I don't get enough sleep-in time. Ha! I was having this same thought recently and went to great lengths to work out a way that Wife and I could wake up 30 minutes later than we had been. So is it generally true that you have trouble falling asleep initially but then tend not to naturally wake up in the middle of the night? The best advice that I can give for falling asleep is to simply not worry about it. When you close your eyes, set aside expectations of sleep per se and think instead of it just as your quiet time to blank out your mind and do nothing but wait in that peaceful emptiness. Gently set aside thoughts as they arise and go back to just enjoying the peace of silence and a quiet mind. Inevitably once I stop worrying about it, sleep seems to come on its own. >I keep trying to practice SSILD whenever I can, but it has been ending up that I do it when I first go to sleep as a mental reminder: do this when you wake in the middle of the night. Except that I'm not waking in the middle of the night! If you're wanting to train yourself up to do WBTB, you could consider drinking some "pee water" before bed to induce a natural early morning bio-break. That's how I usually get myself back into the wbtb rhythm when I'm out of the habit. (In the middle of doing this now, actually!) >I'm having a hard time doing my preferred RC at work because I want to nose pinch, but my hands get dirty helping people with books and public use computers and I don't want to touch my face. Will buy handkerchiefs soon and might also get a digital watch to use as a RC. Heh, I totally get this. I often worried about the idea of my filthy hands touching my (relatively) clean face. I'd imagine this is even worse in a public-facing job with lots of interaction. Another good reality check is to simply do something mental, such as to simply consider whether your present situation makes sense. You can demand proof from yourself that you're not dreaming. This is good in that it builds the habit of strongly engaging your critical thinking in those moments where you've allowed life's natural rhythm to lull you into a sort of waking sleep. I'm really impressed with your diligence! Keep up the great work!

[sallybrarian]

@ Sensei - Sorry for the belated response! I was in a funk from like January through May and didn't feel like posting in my workbook. After the Dreaming and Awakening workshop with Dr. LaBerge I'm feeling a lot more confident! Yes, I've seen PsychoPass (1 and 2) and they are amazing!! I think I'll take you up on the waking in the night because I really have very little motivation on that front. @CanisLucidus - I've changed my preferred method of RC because the nose pinch simply hasn't been that useful to me. Checking text is much better and even more helpful when I expect text and get something completely different! At the moment I'm not having issues with getting to sleep, but the WBTB is still troublesome for me. Also, apparently I have an awesome bladder and after drinking a 20oz smoothie for dinner I didn't wake up during my 10 hrs of sleep last night!!

[cooleymd]

...belated response! I was in a funk from like January through May and didn't feel like posting in my workbook. After the Dreaming and Awakening workshop with Dr. LaBerge I'm feeling a lot more confident!... holy crap you spent 12 days journal, then months in funk, then 8 days in Hawaii with LeBerge with such dedication, and then willingness to spend money I change my recommendation start buying EILD stuff get a Basis Peak to track your sleep cycles and stuff maybe the Rem Dreamer from Europe to help you initiate (tho a new user reported he had bought one and it never shipped to him) I should of course buy these things myself but I'm too cheap at the moment

[Sensei]

holy crap you spent 12 days journal, then months in funk, then 8 days in Hawaii with LeBerge with such dedication, and then willingness to spend money I change my recommendation start buying EILD stuff get a Basis Peak to track your sleep cycles and stuff maybe the Rem Dreamer from Europe to help you initiate (tho a new user reported he had bought one and it never shipped to him) I should of course buy these things myself but I'm too cheap at the moment I have only seen eilds work very rarely. Not a very "consistent" method. I feel like it is more important to go with a tried and true method at first and try to branch out from there.

[cooleymd]

I have only seen eilds work very rarely. Not a very "consistent" method. I feel like it is more important to go with a tried and true method at first and try to branch out from there. after posting I looked up the retreat on line and it said this " May 2-10, 2015 Kalani Oceanside Retreat, Hawaii ... During this workshop, you will also have an opportunity to use the NovaDreamer2, and, if you wish, participate in ongoing research on a natural substance that, according to recent studies, has been shown to stimulate lucidity and mindfulness. " So maybe she got to try EILD there as I read that paragraph above I tried to imagine being handing me a mixture of Ramelteon and Melatonin and some special impossible form of blood brain barrier - crossing Serotonin Now I imagine you (Sensei) standing against a wall with the other potential lucid dreamers, but like a brave man at his execution you wave away the Novadreamer2 then instead request a blind fold blindfolded.png

[CanisLucidus]

@ Sensei - Sorry for the belated response! I was in a funk from like January through May and didn't feel like posting in my workbook. After the Dreaming and Awakening workshop with Dr. LaBerge I'm feeling a lot more confident! Yes, I've seen PsychoPass (1 and 2) and they are amazing!! I think I'll take you up on the waking in the night because I really have very little motivation on that front. @CanisLucidus - I've changed my preferred method of RC because the nose pinch simply hasn't been that useful to me. Checking text is much better and even more helpful when I expect text and get something completely different! At the moment I'm not having issues with getting to sleep, but the WBTB is still troublesome for me. Also, apparently I have an awesome bladder and after drinking a 20oz smoothie for dinner I didn't wake up during my 10 hrs of sleep last night!! Ooh, you were at the LaBerge retreat?? How exciting! I once dreamt of attending one (literally dreamt of it) but have never seriously considered doing it. I hope you had a great time. And I am in awe of your superbladder, ha ha... not to mention in awe of your 10 hours of sleep. That is certainly something to cherish, regardless of whether you have a lucid. You know, on the superbladder issue, it may still be worth trying maybe 1.5-2 cups of water before bed if you're interested in giving that a further try. Maybe a smoothie doesn't equate to as much pee water as we expect...? Although I'm definitely surprised! I'm glad to hear that the changing text is working for you! That's just a classic dreamsign. I had a dream with wildly changing text a few nights ago, and totally missed it. Succeed where I failed! Welcome back!