Im a 34 year old male. I have been having controllable dreams for as long as I can remember. Im a very realistic person and don't consider myself anything but above average in very few areas. My wife of 2.5 years is the only person I have ever told about my dreaming issues. Up until literally today, I thought I was some kind of freak.

I don't want to get into any long draw out story so I will give ya' the short. I do not consciously control entering a lucid dream..... It just happens. It started probably 20 years ago. Frequency was probably once a month then to nearly every night by my late 20's. I tried everything to make the stop. Everything from drugs and alcohol to alarms every 5 mins thru the night to not sleeping at all. It got to the point where my life was severely compromised. One day I said, "the hell with it....let's see where this goes".

My dream content usually begins with some sort of instinctive desire format. Over the years, I have learned to add people (even dead relatives or people I don't know), places (most of which I have never been) and activities (some of which I have never done). I learned how to completely direct my dreams after they begin. Very similar to a movie director with a limitless budget. Sometimes I'll make every decision on the direction of the dream and other times I'll make a change here and there to see how it ends. Similar to a choose your own adventure novel.

Occasionally, I will fall asleep within a dream, wake up in another, fall asleep again and wake up in another. I haven't learned how to control depth, but I have never been deeper 3 layers deep. Honestly, i think any deeper would mean death.

Laws of physics skew the deeper i go. When I begin to realize im 3 deep, everything changes. I fall into escape mode and get out ASAP. I have never created a personally fatal situation (instant escape) more than 2 deep. My escape plan requires me to send intense shivers down my spine but The deeper I am, the less physical control I have over my body. It takes all I have to escape from 3 deep but that makes it easier to get out of the other 2 levels. I have become comfortable with 2 and like that depth due to the altered laws of physics. However, just as I may fall asleep sitting on my couch.... typing this post, I could fall asleep exactly the same way in level 2.

I see my lucid dreaming ability as a gift and a curse. On one hand, I lead a pretty good life. I don't want for much. I attribute a large portion of my success to the dream situations I created, conquered, practiced, etc. Ive also learned empathy to the greatest degree. As i have been in 'your' shoes. on the other hand, it's no different than AIDS or cancer. A 4 deep or god forbid 5 deep dream will be my demise.

Im risking sounding insane but 'what the hell'. I just told a million people what I have only ever told one. Or did I? Will I wake up beside my wife on the level I consider reality?