He or she

[Arra]

Does anyone else wish that there was a single word for he/she, him/her, his/her, etc? When I write "he or she" in a sentence where gender is irrelevant, it seems like a distraction, like the reader will stop and think, "yes, I guess the person could be a male or a female." It's especially bad while talking about a general person which is almost always one gender, like a ballerina or a construction worker. I don't want to write "he or she" because the reader will stop and think "I guess males can be ballerinas too", and all of these implications are added to the sentence that have nothing to do with what I'm saying. But if I just write 'she', the reader will think I'm being sexist or narrowminded for not considering that males can do it too. I sometimes just choose a gender. That especially works when bringing up an example involving two people. I make one male and one female. Then sometimes I go to great lengths to avoid using the pronouns at all, instead using "the person in question", etc. Does anyone else have this problem? How do you structure your sentences to avoid it?

[Maria92]

One is a nice standby. One's self, one's opinion, one ballerina...

[Marvo]

I often run into this problem too. Sometimes "they" can work too, even if you're just talking about one person. "One" is really good though, as Mario said.

[Arra]

I sometimes use 'one' too. The only problem is you can only use the word once in a sentence, then you have to start using 'the person' or something similar. 'They' I sometimes use too, but don't like using it because it isn't technically correct to refer to an individual person.

[Abra]

I know what you mean. Writing "he or she" all the time can indeed detract from context. When writing something formal, it's no biggie. When writing something else... Flip a coin. Use whichever. Don't fall prey to using "they," as that's bad grammar. And you can use statistics. Most construction workers are indeed male; you shouldn't feel awkward when writing them male. Just make sure your statistics are accurate. Be gender-conscious, not gender-guilty. Of course, this is only super important when addressing your reader by gender.

[Xei]

I just use 'their'. I don't care what the sticklers say, there is clearly a need for this word and hence it has come into popular use. If the sticklers had had their way throughout history we'd've never made it past grunting.

[JussiKala]

Luckily there is no he/she in the finnish language. Only one word referring to both genders. THAT gets clumsy when you have 2 persons you are referring to and you can't address both with the same "he/she". In english, you could if one was not the same gender as the other.

[Xei]

Doesn't sound like that much of a problem. It seems to be that only applies when there are two other people, the context isn't obvious, and you can't be bothered to specify by other means... I mean, you might as well complain that there are no pronouns for blondes and brunettes to make it easier when you're talking to a blonde and a brunette.

[sloth]

One... ..heh.. ...could use the word "it" IF people didn't get so offended by it. I don't think that it is quite as disrespectful as people make it out to be.

[Replicon]

I like to use "they/their" when I can. I don't like "one" cause it sounds too scholarly. I'll sometimes use "shim" to mock the stupid PC idiot standard "him/her" and as a last resort, I WILL use "he" instead of "he or she" and people who offend themselves over it can go fuck themselves.

[Arra]

My male philosophy professor always used 'she'. I'm guessing he's thought it out and has some reason for it. In philosophy essays, I alternated. In one example I'd use he, then in my next I'd use she, and I tried to make it random.

[Xei]

I don't understand how 'one' can be used to mean 'he or she'? 'One' is a pronoun referring to an abstract, general person, not a fixed individual. The problem is how to make sentences such as those when you're being told about a person of concealed gender; "I'm not telling you who it is, but he or she is hidden in this box", or "they are hidden in this box". If you think "one is hidden in this box" is a valid alternative, you're doing it wrong.

[reci]

I know this one: s/he.

[Zhaylin]

I've read books with a footnote that states something along the lines of 'I use "she" throughout the book but the information can be applied to either male or female.'

[Arra]

The problem is how to make sentences such as those when you're being told about a person of concealed gender; "I'm not telling you who it is, but he or she is hidden in this box", or "they are hidden in this box". If you think "one is hidden in this box" is a valid alternative, you're doing it wrong. 'One' wouldn't work in this case. It would work in cases like: "If one chooses to write a book, ..." (EDIT: I guess it works as a substitute for the subject itself, not for a pronoun) And there my problem with 'one' comes up, because if after that comma, you want to refer again to the person, you can't use 'one' again and have to use 'he/she' or something. And in the situation you described it wouldn't work either, so 'one' works but looks too formal and can only be used in a few cases. There's another one: 'you'. But that only works informally in casual situations. I just realized, there is a case in which "he or she" doesn't sound awkward: when the topic does have a lot to do with gender, like "If someone wants a sex change operation, he or she must first..." That sounds right to me, but that's the only type of case that does.

[Erii]

I just say they if it becomes an issue, or "that person" or "a person" (sometimes the last 2 don't work haha)

[Alric]

It is even worse in some languages. Here females are feminine, males are masculine and objects are neither and we just say it. In German objects could be any of the three and you have to memorize the gender for all objects. They also had three versions of the word the for each one. Some times there didn't seem to be any reason for why an object might be male or female, but that is how it was.

[Replicon]

It is even worse in some languages. Here females are feminine, males are masculine and objects are neither and we just say it. In German objects could be any of the three and you have to memorize the gender for all objects. They also had three versions of the word the for each one. Some times there didn't seem to be any reason for why an object might be male or female, but that is how it was. Yeah, similar in French. Assigning genders to inanimate objects is absolutely asinine.

[dajo]

One... ..heh.. ...could use the word "it" IF people didn't get so offended by it. I don't think that it is quite as disrespectful as people make it out to be. It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

[Xei]

Yeah, that post was a bit of a derp. ._.

[Keresztanya]

Use "one" if it's formal. Singular "they" is perfectly fine when it's informal, though. One... ..heh.. ...could use the word "it" IF people didn't get so offended by it. I don't think that it is quite as disrespectful as people make it out to be. Well people are offended because "it" is a pronoun for non-animate objects.

[FifthElement]

Dear People of the World, I don't mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Grammar P.S. one goose two geese, one moose, two meese? Stupid Engrish.

[Xei]

Use "one" if it's formal Give an example of a sentence where this makes any sense...

[Zhaylin]

"In order to learn from past mistakes, one must look inside first."

[Xei]

Yeah, that's not the same as 'he or she', is it? He/she = specific person. One = people in general.