Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Got a haircut. WEEPING. Was only four inches but looks like half my hair is gone. sad day.

You know, I HATE it when I get a bunch of likes on a sad/bad post (as if they like that it happened, I know they don't, but still), but no comments. I want comments. Reassurance. Discussion. Please.

Sorry, I liked the part where Colbert's mother was talking about the suffering thing. That really is true in my opinion as well.

I don't like seeing animals pass away.

And Rant:

People are suddenly bringing up the "Arizona Racist" video all over Facebook...I thought it was broadcasted on January 2011? Why are people bringing up old videos, do people really think we're going to die this year?

As for the passing of the cat, I liked it not because it died, I liked it because it keeps reminding me how fragile our lives are too. It makes me realize that all of the things we worry about will eventually be nothing in the end.

It also just made me regress to that feeling of wanting a cat to be honest, the last time I pet a cat was when I was at my cousin's house, and that was a long time ago.

I was just afraid to comment since I wanted to leave it at rest.

Sorry Deery. There isn't really much else to say. People can say "Well at least _____" to be optimistic but it is a sad story. I'm glad you found out what happened to her.

I just woke up from sleeping 4 hours, I'm becoming almost bicuspular now and am so confused about what day it is. So tired, slept with my contacts in. Feel about as bad as possible now. Remembering dreams better at least. It seems every second time I sleep I dream about going back to my boyfriend. I need some form of art to express myself so badly, the stuff I've been turning to isn't good. I have natural talent for pretty much everything I've ever tried to do but have never been able to stay with anything because when I was a kid I just got bored and procrastinated, like with singing and piano. Everyone else has something, like they paint or draw or something, do computer animation, play an instrument, write poetry. I have nothing, so I just gradually destroy myself.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

You know, I HATE it when I get a bunch of likes on a sad/bad post (as if they like that it happened, I know they don't, but still), but no comments. I want comments. Reassurance. Discussion. Please.

I do know what you mean, but I meant I really really liked the part from Stephen Colbert's mother. It had nothing to do with Ana (which saddens me greatly; I lost my kitten friend last year and I still can't talk about it without tearing up.)

I cannot stand when people "like" a Rest In Peace status on facebook... it's terrible to me for some reason. I'm sorry about "liking" it; I should have quoted the part that I did like.

I can definitely sympathize with you about Ana... I give you my sincere condolences. We found a stray kitten in 2001, who then lived with us until just two years ago, when she finally passed on, and we had another stray come to our home (was on the side of the road; we live in the country so people leave kittens out here often unfortunately.) but he was only a year old when he became extremely sick and passed on last spring.

I'm sure it hurts, but at least you know she's not suffering anymore. Sometimes, it's helpful to remember that every life, no matter how precious, has its time here, but cannot last forever.

I don't think I can type anymore because I'm going to start crying, so hopefully I ended on a proper note.

Well, I do want to be optimistic so I don't dwell on it and make myself miserable. There's nothing I can do about it anymore. My personal form of healing seems to be with talk, not silence. Silence raises doubts. It's probably not the same for everyone I guess.

Thanks guys, and thanks Preserver. I'm sorry it pains you to talk about it. I appreciate your comment.

deery, Could have always been worst :/

Also, dry gross red wine is gross >

i have no sorrows, no pains. i have no schedules, no time table to adhere to, either.
i have absolutely no responsibility to anyone or anything outside of what trivial pleasures i take for myself. my financial situation is ridiculous, as i will never want for anything ever again. i have literally lost my mind trying to entertain myself.

so kick rocks internet heroes, cuz you don't have fucking clue what you're talking about

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Sorry Deery. There isn't really much else to say. People can say "Well at least _____" to be optimistic but it is a sad story. I'm glad you found out what happened to her.

I just woke up from sleeping 4 hours, I'm becoming almost bicuspular now and am so confused about what day it is. So tired, slept with my contacts in. Feel about as bad as possible now. Remembering dreams better at least. It seems every second time I sleep I dream about going back to my boyfriend. I need some form of art to express myself so badly, the stuff I've been turning to isn't good. I have natural talent for pretty much everything I've ever tried to do but have never been able to stay with anything because when I was a kid I just got bored and procrastinated, like with singing and piano. Everyone else has something, like they paint or draw or something, do computer animation, play an instrument, write poetry. I have nothing, so I just gradually destroy myself.

People say I'm a quick-learner and think I'm multi-talented as well. I get bored drawing and all that, but it's good to go back to those things you were good at, you don't have to do them every time (I take long breaks when trying to draw portraits because it causes a big cut on my ego if I do too much and when it doesn't look like the person I'm drawing, but usually in the end it does, I just worry to make it better ).

You should find something new to do! I'm sure there are other ways to sublimate whatever it is you're feeling. I draw people sometimes when I'm pissed or angry because I'm forced to try and be perfect in detail.

Maybe you should get more motivated with dream recall, be excited that when you wake up, you will remember you dreams (that's how I've kept a decent recall almost daily).

Better yet, maybe you can set goals for your dreams to find out if you can find solace with the things you're talented in. It's always good to come to the realization that you should be thankful of the things you're good at.

Don't say you have nothing, you're just not motivated for the time being.


But if you really do think you have nothing, get back to lucid dreaming and you might find something new! That's what keeps me from having nothing =)

I am similar as well. I've always been good at everything I've really tried (besides maths and public speaking lol, oh and LD'ing *sigh*)
But I also just procrastinated a lot and got bored of things.
I didn't even play piano for 5 years or something. But I realised that I really, really like it and only started playing again in the last 3 years or so, and now I play it a lot, and can see that I'm getting better.
Makes me feel good.

Just find something you enjoy, and get better at it. I think the major hurdle in anything is getting to the point where you can do the thing you're interested in without learning much more.
Like playing the piano fluently, or making a program you really want to make, or even feel the need to make, without looking in books for code examples etc.

I came to this realisation while observing Ev develop his Singularity App. He said that he felt basically perfect, and everything he had been learning for the past however many years was all coming together, allowing him to create something which he wanted to create.

And of course, there's always the fact that you should improve yourself by working on the things that you're not good at.
And art doesn't have to be good. Just draw to draw. The emotional release or whatever it is doesn't really come from creating something that looks good.

I've been practicing pullups recently (lol) I could do it before, most girls I know can't even lift their body up >_> but i can do that, i can get a few in a row but within the past 3 days I've been doing them a lot and ugh, today I tried to do it and a few seconds after that the area around my elbow part, on the forearm and the muscles around it hurt soooo bad. My arms were shaking for like an hour and it was extremely painful, then I took ibuprofen and it went away which was good xD but then I did (only) one again a bit ago and the pain game back,but then subsided quicker than earlier today. But it was really indescribable pain e__o because my whole shoulder/side/bicep/tricep/trapezius muscles are sore right now from doing all this + more, and it did NOT just feel like a sore muscle >_> I think I kept on doing it even after i started to feel pain initially xD

Why, just fucking why can't people document changes that they make to my network equipment? Some idiot decided that they would be cute and change the default / URL to my Juniper security gateway to go to the client VPN login, rather than the main administrative login page. ...and the fucker didn't update the IP/login sheet to reflect the new URL that they decided would be best to use.


Fuck my life. Here I am on an emergency service call, and I can't get into the stupid box to configure a simple static NAT. ...now I have to tell my customer to go pound sand because someone in our company didn't do their job. It would be nice if the box was at least at my office, but it's in fucking Utah...

I've had it. I'm logging into that box tomorrow and I'm disabling everyone else's account. If they feel that there needs to be a change, they can complete an ECN form and submit it to me. ...when I feel like I have some extra time, I may approve the ECN and make the change, then update all associated documents to reflect the change. I'm tired of people reconfiguring my shit and not telling me what they did.

/pissed off rant with crap grammar and spelling.

Originally Posted by Erii

I've been practicing pullups recently (lol) I could do it before, most girls I know can't even lift their body up >_> but i can do that, i can get a few in a row but within the past 3 days I've been doing them a lot and ugh, today I tried to do it and a few seconds after that the area around my elbow part, on the forearm and the muscles around it hurt soooo bad. My arms were shaking for like an hour and it was extremely painful, then I took ibuprofen and it went away which was good xD but then I did (only) one again a bit ago and the pain game back,but then subsided quicker than earlier today. But it was really indescribable pain e__o because my whole shoulder/side/bicep/tricep/trapezius muscles are sore right now from doing all this + more, and it did NOT just feel like a sore muscle >_> I think I kept on doing it even after i started to feel pain initially xD

Stretch before/after.

I didn't stretch before (dumb idea) because at first I wasn't really doing anything serious, just messing around, but then i kept on trying. But I definitely stretched after ;c

Erii it sounds like you might have pulled or torn something. You better stop using that muscle group for a while - maybe for a good long time.

I can't sleep. It's 4.23. The morning paper just got delivered. I've got to get up at 8 tomorrow, or some such. I don't like how this day has started.

Originally Posted by ThePreserver

I'm having such a first-world problem day. My brother (the one with which I am constantly at odds) is requesting that he store his 20gb Hard drive data on my new, 200gb harddrive. It may seem like a tiny thing, but what happens next: he will fill up his harddrive again, and to ever get back those OLD 20gb, he will have to transfer the new 20gb, putting 40gb on my harddrive. And it will continue, it will escalate, and eventually, as with all of my possessions, they will become extensions of his "property."

It makes no sense to me, since I thought he was moving out... I know I should probably do the "nice" thing and let him, but we've been having tiny proxy battles like this for the better part of 10 years... and I can't give in now! /first-world problem.

I'd suggest you kindly tell him about the new invention called "external harddrives" :p

First off, I'm so glad this thread is here, because I fucking need it.

Why is it that whenever I try to help someone, I get shit on? I've never done anything wrong to anyone and I get treated like I'm an unimportant prick that doesn't matter. I talked to a friend that I hadn't talk to in a long time and they just act like nothing happened between us....like they totally forgot how good of friends we were...how many things we shared with one another...about our lives and everything else that matters. I tried to fucking remind them about who we were to one another and all they could say was, "I don't know what you want from me". It's like I'm living in a fucking Twilight Zone. I try my best to help people and be nice....to be a good friend. But I don't have any anymore. The harder I try to find a close friend...the farther I become from it.. I feel alone now.

People compliment me about how nice I am, tell me that I'm a wonderful person, but that's as far as anything goes. I'm not "best" friend material I guess. Everytime I find someone I'm comfortable telling everything to and being a quality friend....they always just slip away. This has happened so many times. No one is left. My best friend from school doesn't even talk to me anymore. What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't know! There's no explanation from any of them. What the fuck do I do wrong? I don't know how many times this has happened to me....a fucking million perhaps? I'm not interesting enough or good enough? It's getting harder and harder to deal with, because as I get older, the more I need someone close. I'll just sit here on my fucking computer and drown in my self pity.

Fuck Relationships!
Fuck Friends!
Fuck People!
Fuck The World!
FUCK IT!

PEACE>

Friendship isn't about being nice. If you're too nice of a person you might as well wear a t shirt that says "walk all over me - I like it". I don't know if that's the actual problem or not, just throwing that out there because of the way you made your post.

I can see how you thought that. But I should have explained it more. Being "nice" is just a simplistic word I used for getting to be close friends.

Originally Posted by noslord

First off, I'm so glad this thread is here, because I fucking need it.

Why is it that whenever I try to help someone, I get shit on? I've never done anything wrong to anyone and I get treated like I'm an unimportant prick that doesn't matter. I talked to a friend that I hadn't talk to in a long time and they just act like nothing happened between us....like they totally forgot how good of friends we were...how many things we shared with one another...about our lives and everything else that matters. I tried to fucking remind them about who we were to one another and all they could say was, "I don't know what you want from me". It's like I'm living in a fucking Twilight Zone. I try my best to help people and be nice....to be a good friend. But I don't have any anymore. The harder I try to find a close friend...the farther I become from it.. I feel alone now.

People compliment me about how nice I am, tell me that I'm a wonderful person, but that's as far as anything goes. I'm not "best" friend material I guess. Everytime I find someone I'm comfortable telling everything to and being a quality friend....they always just slip away. This has happened so many times. No one is left. My best friend from school doesn't even talk to me anymore. What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't know! There's no explanation from any of them. What the fuck do I do wrong? I don't know how many times this has happened to me....a fucking million perhaps? I'm not interesting enough or good enough? It's getting harder and harder to deal with, because as I get older, the more I need someone close. I'll just sit here on my fucking computer and drown in my self pity.

Fuck Relationships!
Fuck Friends!
Fuck People!
Fuck The World!
FUCK IT!

PEACE>

You see human beings are weird. When you care less about them, they want you even more, and when you do care, they'll eventually ignore you because they have you in the palm of their hands.

I used to be really really really REALLY REALLY nice to people, and they fucking took advantage of it. They started to play the "black jokes" on me since I was the black guy who didn't act "black."

I didn't really mind it, until they fucking augmented the bullshit to the point where I wanted to rip their throats off. Then I realized they were just a bunch of jealous assholes.

You'll see that when time passes, those same fuckers that treat you with disrespect and do not even ATTEMPT to show their appreciation that you're doing nice things for them and wanting to form a decent relation, they're going to regret it.

You see the thing about friendships in school in general, everyone is trying to validate some kind identity you know? Like jocks, cheerleaders, orchestra kids, etc.

And when they find someone to match their similarities, sometimes they act like assholes to the people who really are good friends because they want to hang around with the inside group.

High School and even fucking college (but it's more washed down in college because money is actually involved), there's always going to be the group conflicts.

If people say you're a good person overall, you keep doing that, don't let their nonsense and incompetence in realizing that you're a good person degrade your ability to continue in doing. And yeah, it does suck having people not care about you anymore, but you know what, later on, when you become a more independent and successful person, they will want that because you'll be the projection of success that they can NEVER obtain, which makes them desire you even more.

And when that happens, you'll know how to be nice and wonderful, but still retain the independence to portray that you're not going to tolerate this "Oh I don't need you anymore until I need your help" mentality the majority of friendships feed off from.

Wish you the best. PEACE <3 And if people cringe at your awesome personality to others, just FUCK THEM. You'll see the "cool dudes" and "sluts" turn out to be disgraces when they grow up, because old habits are hard to kill. If you sustain your personality, you will be successful and by then you'll find out who your real friends are, and the ones you tried to be nice but failed to are NOT WORTH it continuing.

I can see how you thought that. But I should have explained it more. Being "nice" is just a simplistic word I used for getting to be close friends.

Ok, forget that.

How old are you? By any chance were these school friends and you're out of school now? I know some school friends remain friends all their lives (usually if they live close to each other I think) but often friendships are contingent on convenience. In fact I once realized that a lot of my friends have last names that start with a letter the same as or very close to mine and I thought that was really weird - until I realized it was because we sat near each other in class.

Life changes often end friendships. Maybe they changed - maybe you did - maybe you both did. I recently connected with an old friend online after many years of no contact, and for a while we were sending emails every few days or so, but pretty soon it became apparent all we really had to talk about was the past, and that got pretty old pretty quick. If you don't currently have any shared interests it will be hard to maintain a friendship.

If you don't currently have any shared interests it will be hard to maintain a friendship.

I don't mean to cause any drama, but I honestly believe that people with different interests can have a better friendship (things to have healthy arguments with) than those with shared interests.

Sure it's going to be "Oh that's coool cooool coool dude. I know right? Yeah dude, so right" It's just going to be confirmation bias over and over until the two get bored of agreeing with accepted beliefs that they want someone with different views to talk to about.

And yes, there are other factors that can determine friendships (proximity and whatnot), but that's just to make friends.

Best friends eventually become more open to arguments, but it's not the type of arguments where things can break up compared to what people with shared interests will have.

But I'll stop before I go insane and make a fool of myself.

And maybe you were just charismatic to others Darkmatters.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Ok, forget that.

How old are you? By any chance were these school friends and you're out of school now? I know some school friends remain friends all their lives (usually if they live close to each other I think) but often friendships are contingent on convenience. In fact I once realized that a lot of my friends have last names that start with a letter the same as or very close to mine and I thought that was really weird - until I realized it was because we sat near each other in class.

haha, that's quite an interesting observation.
And you're completely right about the convenience thing too.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

I don't mean to cause any drama, but I honestly believe that people with different interests can have a better friendship (things to have healthy arguments with) than those with shared interests.

Sure it's going to be "Oh that's coool cooool coool dude. I know right? Yeah dude, so right" It's just going to be confirmation bias over and over until the two get bored of agreeing with accepted beliefs that they want someone with different views to talk to about.

And yes, there are other factors that can determine friendships (proximity and whatnot), but that's just to make friends.

Best friends eventually become more open to arguments, but it's not the type of arguments where things can break up compared to what people with shared interests will have.

I only partly agree with this. It is true for people like probably most of the people in ED.
But for a lot of more simple minded people they much prefer all their friends to just reaffirm everything they say and to bitch together about other people who do things they don't like.

By shared interests I mean things you both like to do. If you don't like any of the same things then how will you spend time together? If one loves video games but the other hates them - one loves going to baseball games but the other hates it - one loves working out in the gym but the other hates it - those people aren't going to be able to be friends. Trust me - even with shared interests you'll never agree about everything.

haha, that's quite an interesting observation.
And you're completely right about the convenience thing too.

Lol yeah, a couple of other friends were people I sat near on the school bus..