Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Puppieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Congrats Deery! I love the name Can't wait to see a pic!

Rant: My Daisy is poo poo sick today. She barfed this morning and hasn't moved from the couch all day. Been letting her lick ice cubes, which seems to make her feel better. Will have to take her to the vet if her condition doesn't improve soon

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Puppieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Congrats Deery! I love the name Can't wait to see a pic!

Rant: My Daisy is poo poo sick today. She barfed this morning and hasn't moved from the couch all day. Been letting her lick ice cubes, which seems to make her feel better. Will have to take her to the vet if her condition doesn't improve soon

That sucks.
I moved away from home about a month ago to study at university, and I really miss my dog.
I'm sure he's going to freak out with happiness when he sees me.
I hope your pet's condition improves

Spoiler for rant about dreams and death:

I really dislike execution dreams. Some years ago I used to have them frequently. Dreams where I would be stuck somewhere and people (often from real life) were telling me that I deserved to die and everyone agreed so they were going to execute me – and I couldn’t escape, plus what would be the use in a world where everyone believed that? It sounds kind of stupid but feels so real; lucidity never comes during these. I dreamed this again last night and just woke up and cried. This coming from a person who often appreciates nightmares. But I really can’t find anything positive or even interesting in these.

Then, I shouldn’t be surprised that it happened because I’m thinking about death all the time in real life, constantly anticipating it around the corner, or afraid that people wish I were, but perhaps that’s only my mind messing with me. Waking up in the middle of the night actually thinking I’m dead or something along those lines has also happened...my view of death changes far too much in a way that doesn't make sense. How can I go from welcoming the idea to dreading it for such stupid reasons? Then back. I guess it's not good to think about it so much at all. It'll come when it comes. The overthinking it, I realise, probably has a lot more to do with life itself rather than death.

A rave to lighten this post – I saw the solar eclipse yesterday. It wasn’t anywhere as impressive as the photos shown of it from where we were standing, but we could definitely see it happening This is only the second I’ve seen in my lifetime and I’m too young to remember the first. My mum says that the first was far more dramatic than the first, at least from where we saw it. She remembers that everything went dark and the birds stopped singing.

Adding to hoping OpheliaBlue’s pet gets better soon.

My family may also get a pet after we move soon. For now, one of our neighbour’s cats almost lives here. Apparently he started acting really crazy when the solar eclipse was happening yesterday, but I wasn’t there to see.

It's past 5:00 AM, I've been up all night. This is likely to fuck up my routine for the next several days, especially since I ran out of my meds earlier this week. I spent the last few days getting back on schedule, and I've set myself back a great deal in this one night. I didn't even do anything noteworthy, just mindlessly browsed the web. >______________>

Wrestling has ended, and so although my daily calorie intake has probably decreased by 1000, my mind is thinking "I don't have to make weight tomorrow" and so I have been constantly hungry 24/7. I eat two bowls of cereal, still hungry. I eat a third, then I'm still hungry but now sick. It's the same with every meal, I might have a condition I'm starting to think. Now, I haven't put on any excess weight and I still have been eating fairly healthy, but the problem is that I am eating faster than my parents can go grocery shopping! During the season they understood that I needed to make weight so they wouldn't buy that much food so I wouldn't be tempted, but now they can't make the transition. Tomorrow, however, I will be going with my mom to personally show her how much food I will be needing, but for now I simply will sit here, hungry and mad

I had a pretty bad cheat day today but I did work out, so I guess that's cool.

It's been 5 days since we accepted the counter offer on the house, and I am still unable to stop thinking of it. It will be another FORTY DAYS until we close and that's assuming inspection goes well (that's Monday), appraisal comes up what we agreed on or more, and our mortgage comes through, with the last two being so unpredictable.

I own one house already, but that house was the second one we put an offer in because the first failed because despite having the money AND triple the monthly mortgage, we needed another co-signer because we were too young to get a mortgage. So, we could find out Day 39 (from now) that the house didn't pan out, and that's that. Out $1000. So, that sucks.

Also, the appraisal is the craziest thing ever. Basically, the owners believe the house costs $XXX,XXX. You, as the buyer, thinks you should only pay $YYY,YYY, which is less than their value. You negotiate on something and agree to complete the transaction at that amount. EXCEPT the bank will not give a mortgage for even a penny over the value of the property. People tend to exaggerate, so our agreed upon value of $ZZZ,ZZZ is like $10,000 above the appraisal value, everything falls apart. Either the owners will have to accept this lower value and drop the price, we have to make up the difference between what the mortgage is (whatever the appraisal cost) and what we agreed on with the owners, or the deal is off.

And because I am an utter masochist, I released my book this week as a pre-order. So far, I got 7 pre-orders, which is kinda cool since I can only account for 3, maybe 4.

Needless to say, I am not feeling well rested.

Grats on the new pet, Deery. Wish your mom told me she was in the market and I would have just given y'all some
I'm about to strangle these farting beasts

Hope your pet is doing better Ophelia

for everyone else.

I had a SUPER weird dream last night. I dreamed I was asleep, dreaming of some trauma I suffered before the age of 4. I was trying to pull the memory forward, driving myself crazy and then I remembered and woke within the dream screaming at the top of my lungs. Then I woke up for real and couldn't remember what the supposed trauma had been that upset my dream self so much I KNOW there was a lot more to the dream, but I just cannot recall anything else about it.
I had weird dreams all night and day but that one was the strangest. i felt as if I had gone insane.
I also keep dreaming about being covered in fleas. I've not been waking to any additional bites, but I'm still obsessing lol

My only rant is allergy eyes. they've been bugging me so much that I've been sleeping excessively. Maybe I'll stop being so cheap 2 Monday's from now and buy some good non-drowsy allergy meds. I have to have my car's oil changed this week. It's down to 5% life so I cannot put it off any longer. Grrrr... Hubby used to pay for that, but now he's making me because I run everyone everywhere all the time and he feels they should contribute (and they should, but they can't.)

Goodnight, DV

My current mood: stressed af

I'm seeing two of my favourite bands tomorrow and I'm so excited. But at the same time I'm very nervous.
I have work experience until 4:30pm. I'm gonna ask my boss if I can go home a bit earlier so I can still catch the train from 5pm to Brussels.
If he says no, I'll probably be late. And of course the bus drivers are on strike tomorrow and there's a small chance the train drivers will strike as well.
According to their tweets, the trains should travel just as usual but they're not 100% sure.

*sigh* Well, now that the puppy's finally asleep, I have a peaceful window of time to look up puppy training videos before he wakes up.

He of course chews EVERYTHING. He's 12 weeks old, so he's probably teething. We didn't have any ice cubes ready, so I had to pour in a fresh ice cube tray and freeze it. I'm trying to teach him to chew the right toys and not tug on my pants or eat my arms off. I have a bunch of bite marks around my wrists now. He gets angry when I push him away from my pants and acts like it's a challenge to go after them even more. He growls and barks at me when I prevent him from biting the pants. I think he's learning, though, because he's not really going after my pants anymore. He's probably bored with Kenji's old hand-me-down chew toys, so I may just buy a couple new toys (and maybe one for Kenji so he doesn't get jealous ).

I feel guilty that I scared him when I suddenly poked my head over the bed and said "NO!" when he was chewing on some power chords, but that's a really dangerous thing for him to do. Maybe he won't do it any more. In any case, I've lifted some chords off the floor that he usually goes after. Yes, I did take him for a good long walk to tire him out earlier, but after that initial tiring out, he's still a menace around the house. I'm reading the "Good Dog, Bad Dog" book, as well as watching various YouTube videos about puppy chew training.

I would be stressed too Crashyy! What a hassle with the transportation. I hope they get everything resolved soon. And I hope you have a good time with the bands

Deery, I forgot just how annoying new puppies can be. When we got Duke, he was 6 months old, maybe a little younger. He was such a good boy. He listened (somewhat ) to "Stay" and never bothered with cords. His weaknesses are shoes and trash. And he's starting to do the attacking the calves and ankles thing- but only with Destinee (the one who got him). He also jumps. I don't tolerate it. I make a loud "Ttttst" noise when he starts to jump on me. it's funny to see him standing mid-stride then back-lunge When he has something he shouldn't, I tell him "Not yours" and I merely take it away. If he seems to really like what he got (like a shoe), I'll give him a toy to replace it.

He's turning into a runner though. He used to follow our old dog Keira around. When I would call for her to come inside, you would come with her. Now he's like "I don't think so" and takes off. Little turd.

My rant-ish is that I've had no appetite. I've been awake from midnight-6 and during that time I'm absolutely famished. My stomach growls and orders me to feed it, but I don't feel like eating anything so I don't. When I wake up, I'm no longer hungry Yesterday, I had 3 pieces of French Toast (which I completely scarfed down and barely tasted) and a steak chalupa just a couple hours after that.

A rave is that The Walking Dead is out I friggin love that show.

Oh yeah, Deery. For cords, the safest thing is "out of sight, out of mind". Hide any you can. For others and chair legs etc, I used to rub some dish soap over them. Just a light coating. The animal get a little taste and quickly learns to back off. Certain essential oils are safer and work better, but I could never find any locally.

Rave: First day of work was pretty good
Rave: Car is fixed
Rave: So close to getting my new comp
Rave: Spring break in a month
Cry: Super Behind on homework
Complain: Gonna be at least a week before I can do anything that's not work or school related


Side notes: Hang in there everyone. Things may get better or get worse, but don't let things get the best of you.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

If a man only wants you because you have big boobs, he's not worth dating.

Actually, I just want to get laid (without dating). I don't want men to come to me for emotional fulfilment; I want to feel sexy and be sexually desired. I don't think anyone here understands what I mean.

Rant: We are working this weekend i.e. working 12 days in a row.
Rave: That means we'll be in office on sunday watching world cup finals on the big screen.

I finally replaced my doddering old Android phone! It was old and slow and glitchy, and no amount of tinkering was improving it much, so it was just a constant annoyance. Calls would take forever to get from the dialing screen to the "connecting" screen, apps took forever to launch, and browsers would crash constantly. It also had a locked bootloader, so custom ROMs were not an option and I was stuck on Android Gingerbread. I grabbed a used HTC One M8 off Swappa, and it's so fast and smooth It's the only device using the 5Ghz channel on my home Wi-Fi, and downloading my apps was crazy fast. It should replace my tablet for audio, too, which will be a lot more convenient--my old phone had crappy sound and the headphone jack hasn't even worked for months. I went with the M8 mainly on the basis of audio quality. A lot of apps and mods seem to play nicer with this version of Android, too.

Ranting, we're short-staffed at work which has left me closing three nights this week. Closing also leaves me less time to work on stuff for my department, not only because of everything involved in closing the building, but also because I'm the only manager on duty for most of the shift. The job is still a solid gig, but I hadn't accounted for the high turnover inherent in being university-affiliated. I'm constantly hiring and training students and having to rearrange schedules for my department, and more than half of our managers will have turned over by summer, between people leaving for grad school and recent grads taking other job offers and a couple people who just didn't work out. The good news is I'm reasonably on top of my department, and it took about the time I expected when I started last fall. Chances are I'm the only manager hired last year who will still be there next year (though there are a few who have been there for years).

But raving, those are some seriously first world problems right there Granted, there's not much else going on in my life--books, video games, tv. I have a new niece and new nephew, but I won't meet them until Easter.

everyone. Grats on the upgrade, Taosaur and for your car being fixed, Auron

My rant is pain and sleeping like crap.
I didn't get down until 8AM (which has become my norm again). I was asleep for maybe an hour when a severe and very odd pain woke me. It was a headache behind my rightt eye that I could also feel in my nose and the roof of my mouth. The pain almost brought me to tears, but I told myself to breath and ignore it and I fell right back to sleep
But I kept waking up every hour or so, tossing and turning and wishing I had taken some tylenol when I first felt the headache coming on.

A rave is Niggle is a word. I've been using it these last few days. I must have heard it somewhere and it stuck. But I wasn't sure it was actually a word or something I made up. Woot! It is, indeed, a real word and I have been using it correctly

Rant: Miley and Ray are at war again and I'm sick of hearing it. They're in their friggin 20's now. You'd think they'd know how to act around each other by this point in time. And Miley's sense of entitlement is getting on my last nerves "I'm bored and there's nothing to do because SOMEONE won't buy Netflix or Hulu". I told her "Your entertainment is not my responsibility any more."
In other words, get a job little turd and buy your own entertainment.

But no. She'd rather just bitch. She's always complaining she has no tobacco but I told her I would buy her a bag of tobacco as well as her tubes if she'd keep the liter box cleaned and take the trash to the road and back.
Nope. Can't be bothered.

Rave-ish... getting my oil changed tomorrow. The rant in that is that's putting me back $44.

Rave: I now have access to the teachers lounge. Free coffee/espresso until I'm finished.

Got home from work this morning expecting to enjoy my last day of free time before school starts by playing some Wasteland 2. But instead, we had no power. There was a 3-alarm fire a block away in an old warehouse/factory building, so electric was shut down in case it would reach power lines. But hey... at least it wasn't my building on fire. I guess it started around 3am. My initial thoughts: organized crime! The building's been in 'renovation' for the last several years, I believe to be transitioned to apartments. So after several years with little to no noticeable progress, the owners must have decided to just burn it down and collect insurance. Or maybe this has been a secret safe house, but the feds are on to them. Or maybe I've just been reading too many mafia stories lately.

So power was off when I got home and I went to bed early, but now I'm all thrown off. I slept for maybe 2-3 hours and woke up to the power turning back on. That was about 4-5 hours ago, and I haven't been able to fall back asleep since. I'm tired, I've just got too much stuff on my mind. I'm pretty stoked to start classes tomorrow, and I had a meeting at work today about possibly getting reimbursed for them. I now have to schedule a bunch of meetings with the 'big shots' to convince them to make the OK. But I guess the worst case scenario is that I'll hear, "No," in which case I'll pay it myself like I initially planned. I have to make the payments upfront regardless.


Anyway, I suppose this will count as my informal "goodbye" to the internet. At least on weekdays.

Mixed rant/rave: It's 3am and I should be sleeping. But it's summer and I have been slipping back into my night-owlishness. I have school tomorrow, but it feels so unnatural to try to go to sleep. There's something about being awake and everyone else being asleep that makes this my favourite part of the day (well, night) when I am awake and not generally exhausted, but nevertheless, this probably isn't too good for me. If only I could go to school in the night and sleep in the daytime -- I believe my days (nights) would become about ten times more productive. I can take my vitamin D in tablet form, thank you very much x3

There are only a few more days of school left before a 2-week-long break, so that would be a rave, alongside life looking up in general in many respects. The rant is that most of that time will likely be spent completing tonnes of homework and heaps of exam study. Another rant; I don't really have anything meaningful to post here but, a rave -- I figure I can post anyway

I hope that everyone is having a great night (or day.)

Alright, rant time.

Psychologist's sessions aren't really doing anything, or at least that's the way I see/feel about it. All we do is do tests and stupid affirmation exercises, like, I'm paying you a lot per week for doing something that I could download and so in my bedroom, right. Probably having one more session to see if we do something different or leaving, money doesn't grow in trees. Ugh.
Also, I have these breakdowns every week, normally on sunday/monday and I get super depressed, pessimistic and even suicidal ("just" thoughts, nothing planned) but when they go away I'm terrified about having to deal with that mental state again, I do not even know how to survive. It scares the hell out thinking of living this way forever.

My sleep schedule is sooo messed up... I've been trying to fix it for like a month and damn it I just do not succeed. I've even stayed nights awake so the following night I sleep early (which I do) but then I do not have enough strenght to get up and do stuff. Damn it. Trying again today (6.21 here).

Last rant is about college. The thing is that I ended up quitting because it turned out I didn't like it, the only subject I was curious about was/is biochemistry, so I'm doing admission tests again in june to see if I can get into biochemistry. The rant is because getting the admission grade seems almost impossible, way too far. Anyway I'm working on it and I'll try, if not... we'll see.

I really need things to do so I do not stay inside all day / meet new people (which I barely know any in my city) and have less time for thoughts to be wandering around.

Hope you guys are doing great .

Originally Posted by Astaroth

Alright, rant time.

Psychologist's sessions aren't really doing anything, or at least that's the way I see/feel about it. All we do is do tests and stupid affirmation exercises, like, I'm paying you a lot per week for doing something that I could download and so in my bedroom, right. Probably having one more session to see if we do something different or leaving, money doesn't grow in trees. Ugh.
Also, I have these breakdowns every week, normally on sunday/monday and I get super depressed, pessimistic and even suicidal ("just" thoughts, nothing planned) but when they go away I'm terrified about having to deal with that mental state again, I do not even know how to survive. It scares the hell out thinking of living this way forever.

This is how I feel about my psychologist friends (well, friend) too. I understand the diagnosing part, but what does he actually do with his patients afterwards? Affirmation exercises and all that stuff seem a tad phony to me, although that's perhaps I've never truly felt depressed or suicidal or anything. Whenever I feel sad I just go 'well live goes on' and I suddenly feel happy and stress free. I guess meditation has something to do with it. Perhaps you could try going to a therapist? I've never heard of anyone who cannot feel better, even temporarily, by talking to someone else about their problems.

Originally Posted by Anju

Actually, I just want to get laid (without dating). I don't want men to come to me for emotional fulfilment; I want to feel sexy and be sexually desired. I don't think anyone here understands what I mean.

I think I can relate. I think my previous relationship would have worked out better, if we had something like that in place. We're a few hours from each other, and I'm busy as hell, and she was too...so it made it all most impossible to see each other.

On the other end, there's this one girl I hit up every now and then, and we'll have a few drinks, and then have sex, and I'll drop her off. It would be cool if she was more attractive....and less psycho nut house crazy. But whatever. It works for the time being since I really don't have time to commit myself to a real relationship.

I'm glad you're safe, Sefalik. Enjoy school!

everyone.
Boy do I understand sleep problems. At 40 years old, I STILL have not found a workable schedule. It has been a lifelong battle lol *sigh*
I'm mentally alert at night. It's just how I'm wired. People have always said "It's unnatural... we're *supposed* to be awake during the day and sleep at night" To them, I joke "Well, there have always been night watchmen. That would have been me Up all night, securing the perimeter." Or being a Scribe by candle light.

My dreams have been increasingly more weird every day. Today I dreamed I met myself (which was one of my lucid goals that I've never pursued). She had been abused and was running away from home (which was my grams house). She changed her name to Beth and we were sisters.
Then I dreamed of being in some zealots house and she was praying oddly and calling on spirits and I realized she was NOT a Christian and I needed to get out of her home NOW. Then I saw a clown mask and it turned and demonically smiled. I grabbed a broom and flew off I made it gallop like a horse then it turned into a sort of spirit steed which was cool.
Very odd.

I guess I should stop my dark thoughts before falling asleep. It's just so BORING laying there, that I come up with wild stories to help pass the time. The latest one is of having a split personality who protects me whenever someone needs to be hurt :mwaha: I've been perfecting the story for a couple months now so I guess it's finally working parts into my dreams.
Happy stories are just so dull... need to start incubating some newer ones in any case.

My rant is that I officially cannot eat anything anymore without having to rush to the restroom Slim Jims, Jello, veggies, fruit, doesn't matter in the least :rage:

A rave-ish is that I REALLY hope Simon lives. He's our boy kitten. The only male in the house. He and his siblings have had colds since they were born. One died before its eyes opened. Another died unexpectedly. There's 3 left. Adolf seems completely fine. A sneeze every now and then and that's all. BB (AKA Weezy) is the worst. She's active and eating but she makes a terrible noise when she breathes. Simon is in between the two. He weezes a little but sneezes a lot. It's not a chest problem (lung problem), it sounds completely nasal. No discharge. Eyes clear most of the time.

Anyhow... Simon is my buddy. He lives in my room for the most part- lays on my bed and watches the bird. He goes to my door when he wants out. He butts heads (affectionately) with the dogs and meows at Keira when he wants something. I swear he thinks he's a dog. Before I go to bed, I kick everyone out. I say "Okeydokey, doggy-dogies, time to beat it doggy-doggies" (Yeah, I'm weird lol). And they get up and leave. Simon joins them and leaves like he knows what's going on.
Cats, by and large, are normally like "What is this LEAVE you speak of, serf."

Hope everyne has a great day. Time to get to my farms

Originally Posted by Anju

Actually, I just want to get laid (without dating). I don't want men to come to me for emotional fulfilment; I want to feel sexy and be sexually desired. I don't think anyone here understands what I mean.

I know exactly what you mean. I used to torture myself by reading all sorts of comments and message boards about Christina Hendricks (because honestly who doesn't have a crush on her, gender regardless), about how much more desirable she is than any "skinny bean pole bitches with no tits", that she's what *all* women are *supposed* to look like, and that she's a "Goddess". I thought to myself, "I want to be called a Goddess." In many circles there's been some considerable push-back against fat-shaming, descending quickly into skinny-shaming. It's like people can't realize that ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT, and that no one should desire all women on the face of the planet to look like only one woman. Is that what people want? One massive army of identical fembots, marching the Earth?

Have you asked a guy out? Have you ever asked a guy to have sex with you?

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Boy do I understand sleep problems. At 40 years old, I STILL have not found a workable schedule. It has been a lifelong battle lol *sigh*
I'm mentally alert at night. It's just how I'm wired. People have always said "It's unnatural... we're *supposed* to be awake during the day and sleep at night" To them, I joke "Well, there have always been night watchmen. That would have been me Up all night, securing the perimeter." Or being a Scribe by candle light.

I've heard that's actually a myth, that people supposedly sleep for one long stretch at night and then stay awake all day. There are so many obvious signs that that's bullshit. For one, everybody feels a slump in the early afternoon, tempting us to sleep. That's a natural phenomenon. We're biologically supposed to nap when we're tired during the day. Most people also get up sometime during the night. I can't remember where I found the article, but it talked all about how even in old books from centuries ago, long before street lights and computer lights kept everybody "unnaturally awake", people described "first sleep" and "second sleep" during the night. People's sleep schedules were still broken up by waking hours during the night, and usually they'd have sex or a snack while awake for a short period in the middle of the night, then back to bed. The reason people got the idea of one long sleep at night and then stay up all day was from the advent of the industrial revolution, where everybody was supposed to work all day with only short breaks. I'm pretty sick of the industrial revolution, or basically, slave-driving hamsters-on-the-wheel revolution. I can't wait for the new conceptual age to take over everything.

I guess I should stop my dark thoughts before falling asleep. It's just so BORING laying there, that I come up with wild stories to help pass the time. The latest one is of having a split personality who protects me whenever someone needs to be hurt :mwaha: I've been perfecting the story for a couple months now so I guess it's finally working parts into my dreams.
Happy stories are just so dull... need to start incubating some newer ones in any case.

Have you tried guided meditation audio? I depend on listening to that to get me to sleep in a matter of minutes, predictably, instead of hours and with little predictability. It's a life saver.

As far as my puppy goes, my sister's friends gave me some GREAT advice when they came over to see him and play with him. One, to make a high-pitched shriek whenever he tugs or bites at my body and quickly turn away from him and ignore him. Two, to rattle my hand around in his mouth while he's chewing my hand, to make it hurt less and probably to dissuade him from continuing to bite. Just the shrieking has made a huge difference. He no longer flags me down every single chance he gets. Only once in a blue moon does he ever chew at my pants or feet anymore, and I firmly say "NO", and turn away.

He's slowly becoming a calmer, well-behaved, handsome little puppy. He's still a pest around poor Kenji though (our fluffy adult samoyed). Kenji's tail will actually get yanked around by Craigy, and sometimes he'll try to climb on top of him and hump him, or jump and bite the side of his face. Kenji's getting more disciplinary, though. They have barking arguments at each other.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Have you asked a guy out? Have you ever asked a guy to have sex with you?

No. No.

The gig on Tuesday started at 7:15pm and we arrived in Brussels at 7:00pm so we had to run to the venue and we got there just in time.
It was sold out, there were like 2000 people and somehow we managed to get really close to the front. I had such a great time with my friends.
But I felt so shit afterwards because we got home very late, and we had school the next day so I only slept for like 3 hours. I've caught up on some sleep the past few nights, so I'm all good now.





Rant: We're leaving to Italy on Sunday and it'll be a 14 hour bus ride. I get sick quite easily on buses, so I'm honestly dreading this ride.
And just to make it worse, I woke up today with a sore throat and a headache. I've had the flu a few weeks ago and now I'm ill again right before this school trip??
I always get ill at the wrong time. I love travelling and I'll be sharing a hotel room with my best friends so it should be fun. I just hope that
I'll feel better soon, so I can enjoy this trip. We're gonna visit some lakes, beaches and Venice. I'm just so excited for it ahh