Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Rave: I might be back... oops too big
anyways look my tree!
Collagetree.jpg

Ugh... so much boredom... too much sleep
Nothing been going on here, other than the usual.

Hope everyone is well

My back still hurt and I have gifts to make and warp *angry dinosaur noises*
what was I thinking when I said I could make a illustrated book i_i

Rave: I am getting the audio box music suite very sooooooon! and Louai i think the software i will be using is Studio One.

Have fun with that book, Milly. Sounds like quite the task though for your back.
Grats, Oneiroer. Make lots of beautiful music

Rant: I am so irritable and have been for the last week or so. I am getting on my own last nerve. Words keep failing me too, or I say them in the wrong order. I have never been a violent person but EGAD I just want to strangle everyone.
SI-ing has become my companion again. We parted ways years ago but once the idea landed, it consumed me until I finally gave in. Meh. Just another tool in an arsenal of many things.
My BP is normal, sugar= normal, diet= normal, life= normal, sleep= normal. I even tried getting off my butt and exercising. But nothing is calming this anger. What. The. Heck.
The dog has been getting on my nerves so much, that I hide in bed with my lights off for at least 5 hours a day. I don't want to snap at her.

Maybe my meds need tweaked... but I've been on this cocktail for eons it seems.
I'm not MAD about anything in particular... just everything in general (if that makes sense). Which makes me laugh, so I'm not THAT far gone yet

I bought a pack of cigarettes last night. It's a new Marlboro menthol blend called "midnight". It's pretty good... but I couldn't smoke an entire cig because blec- ashes and smoke just don't do it for me, at all, anymore

But that's kind of what my irritability feels like- like I'm jonesing for something. My only other vice is caffeine and nothing's changed there either.
Maybe I need the Walking Dead to come back or to be able to watch a couple shows (internet is still throttled until the 16th). Could I seriously be jonesing for TV? I typically watch 1-2 shows a day (preferably while eating). It's been a couple weeks or so since I watched anything other than CNN news clips.

Thank you Zhaylin!

Rant: I should never have signed up for surveys for cash...Now I gotta cancel stuff and owe a company or two or 3... Not very much but argh...

Ugh. I hope getting out of the surveys doesn't cost you too much!

Rave: Just like that I'm back to my old self (knock on wood). I took a nice long, hot shower then chopped off my hair some more. Then I called for Destinee to even it up and shave the back of my neck... but then my bangs were still too long and wonky so I cut them too. The kids tell me that I look like an old 80's throw back My face is no longer in my hair (SEE! I caught that )
I took the kids shopping after midnight (their foodstamps came in) and I picked myself up some Prosciutoo Panino (mozzarella wrapped) and that's helped my mood even more. I've never had it before and it is SO good. Only set me back $5.

Now, I'm waiting for the kids to settle because I'm going to give in and watch a show (if the site doesn't phish me that is).
We're at 332 GB for the month Looking at the monthly graph though we usually exceed 550 and they didn't slam us with the bill until we hit 660 in November.

Hope everyone is well.

I had a dream last night, or actually, this morning before I woke up, of a relative causing a car accident. I was in a really nice vehicle, and they just rammed into me. We didn’t even argue; all that went on in our minds was finding mechanics quickly, and figure out the other ramifications later. I woke up and wondered why I had the dream, since it did occur in the past via dreaming, but over other conflicts with the relative.

I take the interpretations with a grain of salt, but the dream itself is probably a turning point for both me, and him, hopefully. I figured out that I’m a U.S. Citizen based on a relative of mine. Five years ago, I could’ve had a different mentality knowing I was a citizen then vs. being a resident, and that getting the end game accomplished so early would’ve made my experience at University completely different. It wouldn’t have made me get better grades, but that extra padding of assurance would’ve augmented whatever disposition I had for carpe diem vs. feeling as if I was still living within constraints. Five years too late, but it's better than nothing.

It’s also a testament that I’ve been living in false pretenses, and living based off of the ignorance of another relative who would be so militant towards me when this realization will be a turning point that would stultify them tremendously to the core. It only took a few minutes to verify, and they didn’t bother to look at loopholes for five years, and I figured it out in a few minutes. There is a rage inside of me in context of how a person can have grandiose delusions of how they see people as incompetent, and that any form of rebellion, or a yearning to see if I can claim what’s rightfully mine all these years is meaningless. Now, the tables have turned, and hopefully, this will make them a better person.

I can’t forgive them for the ignorance they cultivated me to conform to, but I’m happy. I gained back what I thought was taken away from me all this time, and that’s just the joy of knowing I had a fallback to be a better person, and truly tap into unrealized potentials. Now, I just have to look forward to the future, and keep going. I never knew a dream that would’ve been a nightmare would entail one of the greatest achievements in my life. I’m grateful for what I’ve learned in this community; maybe a cigar in a dream isn't just a cigar, you know? I was living in a dream for 5 years, and I finally woke up.

It's great that you got so much meaning and peace from that dream, Link.

Hubby made me cry. He hates my haircut. And when he hates something, disgust is ALL over his face. It breaks me every time
Oh well. I still like it

As I tried to sleep after my last post, I had the strong urge to Si again. For no reason. So I worked on a tattoo instead. It's going to be a very basic anklet. I tried something new though. I drained an ink pen into a container, added some rubbing alcohol and then the cigarette ashes I normally use. It was a very messy task, so I only got a tiny portion done. I want to see if the ink takes.
Yesterday was hectic. I took sonny to counseling 2 hours early and chilled in the car on my iPad.

I've been fighting a slight sore throat and fever for the last couple of days (I probably should have held off on the tattoo come to think of that) Tonight, I'm a little nauseous. I need to be in bed (long day with hubby), but he made me selfscousious about my hair when I'm around him that I'm determined to finish crocheting a scarf. I'm using a ginormous hook and I've almost finished a skein in about 2 hours time. Another 2 and I should be done. Then I guess I could take a nap.

I just hope I'm feeling better. We're eating (sort of) locally for lunch but then we're driving a couple hours away to eat Indian for dinner. Gah. I don't know if I'm up for all this socializing or not

Later, taters.

Ugh... I'm being a total hypercondriac. My heart's been troubling me for about a week now (cramps in my chest most likely due to gas or I'd be dead by now ) Tonight though, I've been having very frequent palpatations and my pulse is very low for me: 67. What the heck, body? I've taken no meds today (though I'm about to). No caffeine (only 1/2 Mexican Coke for lunch and a couple sips from a bottle afterwards).
I'm HIGHLY exhausted.

Everyone in the house is sick. If I was coming down with something though, fighting an infection, my pulse and temp should be higher right?
Gotta google lol.

For now, however, I think I'm just going to go to bed.
Had a great evening with hubby and his family. (I never really considered his son my step-son because he was out of state in college and afterwards I've seen him maybe once a year for the past 15). His daughter is absolutely amazing. She'll be 5 in August but she was lecturing her dad about eating too much sugar "Mom's going to be mad!". I asked her what lots of words were in Mandarin and she didn't hesitate to tell me. Smart as a whip that one.
She talked my ear off the entire way home, telling me about school, her classmates and cousins and that she didn't want any pets "because they make too many messes".

Tomorrow, we're supposed to venture out to a nearby State park... but I may bail if I'm not feeling better. Especially if I can't drive those ultra curvy roads. I'd definitely be puking if I'm a passenger!

Sweet dreams, DV.

I had a job interview today. There were 2 rounds and an assignment to be done from home which I sent a while ago. There will be more rounds next week.

Originally Posted by Anju

I had a job interview today. There were 2 rounds and an assignment to be done from home which I sent a while ago. There will be more rounds next week.

Good luck with the job, You deserve it

?: I'm getting my year twelve results tomorrow...
Rant: Aaaand I'm pretty sure I have a haemorrhoid

That sucks BlairBros :/

Got jump-scared by the last Grimm episode. Nice. but now I need to wait for the adrenaline to fade before going to sleep XD

My computer has been freezing a lot lately. I obviously need a new one which will cost me. I deserve to get a good one for free.

I can't stand staring at my cat. She's like a calico version of Pikachu, to me at least. I guess she must've electrified my head using her cuteness long ago. Sneaky cat.

Originally Posted by HelloBro123

I can't stand staring at my cat. She's like a calico version of Pikachu, to me at least. I guess she must've electrified my head using her cuteness long ago. Sneaky cat.

Can I see picture?

Hope your interviews went well Anju
Blair. Topical cream and stool softeners. Get better soon.

lol, Hello. Sounds too adorable.

Where's Tommo been hiding?

My rant is that I have a sore on my gum. It's where my canine should be so I probably chomped down on some food forgetting I'm dentally impaired It's made worse by the fact that I can't seem to keep my fingers out of my mouth. But the salt feels so nice When I'm sleeping is the worse.

Raves: Ended up going out to eat with hubby etc on Sunday. They just had me follow in my own car (I get very car sick on those roads unless I'm driving). Double rave about that is that hubby gave me $20. to put in my gas tank. It was 72 miles all in all but gas has finally fallen to $1.99 I completely filled my tank. I have to go to Ray's counseling place both tomorrow and Wednesday but I probably wont have to put any gas in my tank
The food was better than I remember too. It's a little Swiss place that's been there pretty much since the founding of the town. The food has never been BAD, just not my thing.

Another rave: 7 Days to Die was finally updated It's buggy as all get out but it's still great. Forget Fallout4

Rant: I'm extremely sleepy already. I woke several numerous times throughout the night. I had a very bizarre dream of having Hissing Cockroaches as pets. One of them would even jump on my back to sit on my shoulder. I'm terrified of roaches IRL. The dream progressed from me trying to kill one when it kept escaping it's container to me absolutely loving them. I think there's spiritual significance in the dream (for the last couple of days I've been thinking about the apostle Paul's vision of the "unclean thing". It's only been passing thoughts thanks to a conversation I had with Miley several days ago.) I'll need to mediate on it some.

Hope everyone is doing well.

My infection came back a few weeks ago and it's only getting worse. I'm just getting so frustrated man. I've had 10 different doctor appointments, including 1 hospital visit over the past few months. And nothing seems to be working. Like each time I get sent home with different meds but they don't fix anything. So honestly what's the point in going back to the doctors. I just find it so weird that they can cure all kinds of complicated diseases, but yet they can't cure a silly infection.

I've started taking fish oil tablets again and it has definitely improved my dream recall. I'm pretty sure they're also the reason why my dreams are so crazy at the moment.

And I have my last exam tomorrow, then I'll have three weeks off. To be honest I've got so much to look forward to like the soccer tournament on Friday, a christmas party on Saturday, and I've also made plans with my best friends for new years eve. But I'm pretty sure this infection is going to ruin all of that. I don't want to sound overdramatic, but the pain often gets too much to a point where I just have to lie down.

Rant: Sanibel my dog is not doing well. These past several months have been like hell. I have to deal with a lot of things in my life.

Originally Posted by Anju

Can I see picture?

Hahaha! You've a Pikachu sig. I'm so sorry, Anju. I get an error while uploading her picture from my phone though it's already in jpg form. My smartphone is having some issues right now.
Anyway, she's like other cute calico cats that you've seen so I don't think you missed anything. I'm just eccentric seeing her as adorable as Pikachu when she stared at me with her round eyes and having a tender-like face.

Rant: It's snowing where I live and I have to work today... Edit: I don't have to work! I'm happy today.

Rave: I got my music stuff and I'm working on setting it up. It will take a while but will be worth it!
Also my girlfriend and I got a ps4! Hurrah!

I'm not even sure if I should even leave the picture of me up. I mean I'm not sure if I can trust people after having to deal with people on the other dream forum.

Originally Posted by Crashyy

My infection came back a few weeks ago and it's only getting worse. I'm just getting so frustrated man. I've had 10 different doctor appointments, including 1 hospital visit over the past few months. And nothing seems to be working. Like each time I get sent home with different meds but they don't fix anything. So honestly what's the point in going back to the doctors. I just find it so weird that they can cure all kinds of complicated diseases, but yet they can't cure a silly infection.

My mom is going through the same thing but with wrist pain. After surgery she was worse and had pain in other parts of her body. Over a year later and she still sees doctor after doctor. I don't trust doctors, not one bit. Perhaps they see the patients more as victims.